Original subtitles

- Understood. Yeah, absolutely.

No, no.

Oh, yeah. Thanks so much.

You too. Yeah.

Well, that was the coroner. David died of sepsis.

- [screams]

- [screams]

- [gasps]

Sorry, I forgot we had a dog.

Also surprising and alarming

that you know how to call a coroner.

- Look, I know death.

And yes, I know every girl now is obsessed with murder,

but I started the trend.

They could have their buccal fat removal

and Charlotte Tilbury.

I get blood spatter and Amanda Knox.

- Is Amanda Knox the one--

Italy? - Mm-hmm.

- Acquitted? - Mm-hmm.

- Real killer left behind poo.

- My girl has been through so much,

and all people remember is the poo.

Look, I know the right questions to ask.

And in your case, the right question to ask

was what killed David?

- David. My first love is dead.

Feels like just yesterday

he was fingering me under my Herv� L�ger bandage dress

at prom, now he's a literal angel in our sky.

- Mm-hmm.

Brandon, Jeffrey, David.

Sepsis,

comma,

fingered.

- What are you doing?

- Three of your ex-boyfriends died.

The more I think about it, the weirder I think it is.

- I mean, it's not that weird, right?

Sure, a few of my exes died.

I mean, I'm sure you have an ex who's died.

- Terrence.

- Anyway, if anything,

dating is already impossible and now people are also dying.

It's like, what do I have--

ugh.

[whispers] No.

- Sick, right? For the wedding.

I ordered it from Nordstrom's.

- I can see a ball.

- OK, you're not actually wearing that to the wedding.

- The invite says

come attired in your most authentic spirit, so.

- In what way is your most authentic spirit Japanese?

- The same way yours is French.

- I am 78% French.

- OK, yeah, and I'm 0.9 Japanese.

Where do you draw the line?

- I think it's problematic and short.

- Oh, so it's Ruby.

- Dude, shut the fuck up.

- Whatever, I'm just joking.

Oh, my God. Look, don't worry, babe.

You know my legs don't get cold.

[smooches] We're going to have fun.

Just wear something cool too.

I can order another one. They're still cheap right now.

You know, they're on sale

'cause it's cherry blossom season.

- How are you feeling about that?

- Robert's wedding?

Eh, fine.

I mean, I don't love that it's...

on a Thursday.

Like, "at work tomorrow"

are words I might actually say at a wedding.

- Rubes, you were with him for three years.

There was a moment when you thought

you were gonna marry him, we all did.

- Yeah, no, I...

Really tried with that one.

Anyway, we broke up so long ago,

it feels like ancient history.

It's still just like a reminder

that everybody else has figured it out.

- You are exactly where you are supposed to be,

and you are going to find someone.

Holland Taylor didn't meet Sarah Paulson till she was 66.

- [chuckles softly]

What could have helped

is if Robert had at least given me a plus-one.

It's like, no, I'm not seeing anyone now,

but why did he just assume I'm single?

[scoffs]

He could have asked me when I texted him after

"Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV" came out.

He had a small part in all that.

Nothing happened. He was fine.

- Sorry, were Brandon, Jeffrey, and David

all born in Cantara, a town in California

that had a toxic spill in '91, the year they were born?

No. No, none of them were.

- Would you stop?

There is no connection here.

It is like you said. It is a tragic coincidence.

Look, Robert's an ex.

He's alive.

And look,

look at all these other exes who are doing great.

Oh, Brian, Aubrey.

Ah, Joao had twins.

- Aw.

- Nope, that's just

one big baby looking into a mirror.

- Oh.

- And you know who's doing really great?

[bassy hip-hop beat]

Now, that is the very alive ass of a very alive ex.

- Stu Jackward.

I totally forgot you dated him.

How'd you meet again?

- At that bobblehead event, remember?

He shot me a T-shirt from a cannon

with his phone number on it.

You know, that was the first relationship where

I really felt like a grown-up.

He took me to a Ruth's Chris and paid with a check.

- Ruth's Chris.

I will never for the life of me

understand the name of that restaurant.

Ruth's Chris?

- He's also the guy who gave me my first orgasm.

And he was so strong.

He was always picking me up and putting me places.

On a counter, on a table.

He called me his little elf on a shelf.

- I'd rather not picture you

having an orgasm on a bookshelf, thank you.

- What are you doing?

- Oh, sorry, um, I broke up with Zack,

so I'm deleting all evidence of our relationship.

- No way. Because of the kimono?

Oh, my God. He has done way dumber shit.

- No, no, no.

The kimono is symbolic of many bigger issues,

all of which boil down to the fact

that he is a child who refuses to evolve.

He shows me he loves me by giving me stuffed animals.

And it used to be cute, you know?

When we were 25, it was like,

look at that dude in roller skates.

He's nuts! Fun!

Now it's like there are roller skates on that man

who is the first call if I have a stroke.

Now I can get that orca out of the kitchen.

Takes up so much counter space.

That's why I started using the blowhole to hold Splendas.

- Oh! [audience groaning]

- Oh, oh!

- Stu Jackward has just taken a foul ball to the temple.

Ooh, that is not what you want to see.

Oh, my! - Holy shit.

- Oh, let's not. Yeah, we don't--

we don't really need to see that again.

Let's stop showing that.

- [gasps]

- Looks like Goldie has come out

to try to cheer up the crowd, but that's--

that's clearly not gonna be enough.

Can we get somebody to tell Goldie what's going on,

[cover of James' "Laid"]

- ? This bed is on fire with passionate love ?

? The neighbors complain about the noises above ?

? But she only comes when she's on top ?

[upbeat rock music]

? ?

? My therapist said not to see you no more ?

? She said you're like a disease without any cure ?

? She said I'm so obsessed that I'm becoming a bore ?

? Oh, no ?

? Ah, you're think you're so pretty ?

? ?

? [vocalizing] ?

[suspenseful music]

? ?

[light knocking]

[door opens] - [gasps]

- Well, Ruby, everything looks great.

Your pelvic exam looks good,

your numbers are where I want them.

I'm very happy with your smear.

- And you're...

sure? - Yeah.

I'm looking at the results of a very healthy 33-year-old woman.

- Cool.

Very cool.

- All right. I'll let you get dressed.

- Um, I, uh

just have one question.

There's nothing...

in there that could be

harming people, right?

- I--I'm sorry?

- I don't know how to say this, Dr. Banooni,

but there have been some odd deaths around me,

and I just want to make sure I'm not...

involved.

- Uh, wh--

- A few guys I slept with have died.

- Oh, I am so sorry.

- Thank you!

Ah, it's been hard. [chuckles softly]

- So you're worried about an STD?

- But, like,

I slept with them many years ago, so maybe it's like a--

a time-release thing.

Like a sexually transmitted

shingles.

I rode an elderly donkey when I went to the Grand Canyon.

Could that be related?

- How are these people dying?

- Uh, one had sepsis.

One, uh, we still don't know.

One got hit by a car right in front of me.

One took a foul ball to the temple.

An FB to the T.

That's the jargon we've been using.

- This is the problem with your generation.

You're all so anxious.

Remember the time you came in

worried about your pubic hair growing in sideways?

- It was.

It stopped.

I think I was just sleeping on my left side.

- Ruby, let me assure you

it's medically impossible

for you to be causing the deaths of these men.

A foul ball to the temple

cannot be the result of your vagina.

- [relieved laugh]

[chuckling softly] OK.

- [chuckles] - Good!

- [chuckling] Yeah!

- Great.

Yeah, that's what the other three doctors said.

[Ruby chuckles] - Oh, I was your fourth stop.

- Well, well, well, look who's anxious now.

- [sighs]

- Pardon me, I'm gonna deliver the good news.

[chuckles]

[soft upbeat music]

? ?

[door opens]

- Oh, wow. [chuckles]

- Oh, hi. [laughs]

- Wow, this place is great.

- Right? [chuckles]

We can make this place really special

for your parents' party.

Dinner over there, dancing there.

And I was thinking maybe

when they read their original wedding vows,

we could do it here. - Hmm.

- Yeah, and don't forget about

the release of the hundred doves

that his parents have asked for for some reason.

All right, where's Brenda? Has anyone seen Brenda?

Does anyone have eyes on Brenda?

- He'll rally on the day.

- OK, cool.

- And on that day, this place will look beautiful.

I actually booked this place

three years from now for my own wedding.

- Oh, you're--you're engaged?

- No. [chuckles]

Actually, not even dating anyone.

And have zero prospects on the horizon.

So you know,

if you know anyone.

Like you. [laughs]

- [chuckles uncomfortably] - But not you, of course.

I don't date clients.

What do they say?

Don't take a shit at work.

- [stifled laugh] - No, it's not that.

Something real close, though.

Sorry, I said take a shit.

- That's fine.

People shit.

- Not me.

[Ruby laughs] - [groaning chuckle]

- Yeah.

[inhales deeply]

I just love weddings and romance and love.

Guess I'm just a romantic.

- You know, I hear people say that, but

what does that mean, you know?

To be a romantic.

- Oh, well...

you know. [chuckles]

I just love love.

- Mm-hmm.

- Things with love in them.

Movies, TV shows, podcasts,

things you can watch and listen to that are romantic.

Things with Meg Ryan, but not dramas.

Like, she did something called "Ithaca,"

which did not work for me.

So like rom-coms, but only with Billy Crystal.

As much as we love Tom Hanks,

that was not undeniable chemistry if you ask me.

So "When Harry Met Sally." I love "When Harry Met Sally."

Next thing you know, you're singing

"Surrey with the Fringe on Top" in front of Ira.

[chuckles]

Oh, and spitting that grape at that car window?

- Those are both Billy Crystal's moments.

Is it maybe him you like?

- It's love that I like.

I want an epic kiss in the rain

or a big speech about how someone loves

every little flaw about me

or someone running in and interrupting a party

to call my name so everyone turns to look.

And then it's quiet except

for, like, a little clink or two of silverware.

And then I'm like--

[gasps]

[soft dramatic music]

What are you doing here?

? ?

[music fading]

Anyway, sorry.

Rambling. [chuckles]

- No, don't apologize. I--I get it.

You want to find someone you love.

You know, this was not in the brochure.

- Shut the fuck up.

Was that a Billy Crystal line from "City Slickers"?

- Yes! [laughter]

- Oh, maybe I am a Crystal-head.

[both chuckle]

[Ruby laughs and sighs]

So this place holds 100.

I assume you'll want to invite 50

and give everyone a plus-one?

Unless you also like

to discriminate against single people.

- No. No, of course. Everyone should get a plus-one.

I mean, I'm not married and I'll be bringing a plus-one.

- Oh.

Like a...

old teacher?

- No, my girlfriend.

- Is your girlfriend an old teacher?

- [chuckles] No, she's a marine biologist.

Her name is Merci, as in beaucoup.

- [sighs] Yes.

She's--[inhales deeply]

Pretty. - Yeah.

- And how cool that she has a job where

she gets to wear what I assume must be her work bikini?

- [chuckling] Yeah, yeah.

She's also a gamer and does a ton of charity work.

- [chuckling] Ah. Congratulations.

That's great.

That is actually what I want too, to find someone great.

I've recently realized

I've been too tough on the people I've dated,

so just this morning, I slid my age range up

five years to 50 because, you know, Brad Pitt is 50.

- I think Brad Pitt is 60.

- Get the fuck out of here. He's 60?

- FB to the T.

- Hi.

Had a great session with Dr. Debra.

- You mean you Zoomed with your therapist from your car

in a Mendocino Farms parking lot?

- That's right.

- Great.

Dying to know what she has to say about all this.

- That? Oh, I didn't bring it up.

- You didn't bring up that four of your exes died?

- I didn't even get to bring up the fact that Brad Pitt is 60.

- What?

- She was on this thing about

how my family is the root of my romantic problems.

She was on a roll, so I just turned off my camera

and ate my side tortilla.

Ooh!

I like that. Out of the way.

Much better.

- Hmm.

- Also, cute client Isaac?

Has a girlfriend.

A sexy, charitable, marine biologist gamer.

Can you?

- I cannot.

[loud thump from ceiling] - What's with this?

- Love when a thought gets interrupted

by a single clog-drop from a Clogdropper.

- Come on, Jill.

- What's with this?

- Ugh. Zack is being such a dick.

Even though we broke up,

he refuses to give up his plus-one to the wedding.

He says selecting the fish option

made it a binding agreement.

- What a dick move.

- Yeah, my ex is a real asshole.

- Why are you still doing this?

- I added Stu and I'm trying to see

if it's, like, a riddle.

The first initials of their names spell out B-J-D-S,

but that means nothing.

'Cause I was thinking how scary would it be

if their initials spelled out, like, a creepy word?

Guts or hang.

I would scream.

But they don't.

So it's not that.

- Listen, I know you need a distraction right now.

And it is sad and it is tragic that these guys have passed,

and no one feels that more than me.

- I hate that you just did that.

- But I just got a clean bill of health.

So whatever's happening here is not my fault.

If anything, this should just remind us that life is short

and we need to appreciate it.

We owe it to these dead gentlemen

to have single girl fun

and find love at a weeknight wedding at--

wait, where is this again?

? ?

[whistle blares] [bell dings]

[eagle cries]

[tires squeal]

- Jesus Christ.

- One-hour drive, 35-minute ferry,

dropped our bags at that shed.

- That was the motel.

- And a 25-minute bus ride?

both: On a Thursday.

- Oh, God, this is so Robert.

- [chuckles]

Remember when you dated him, you got super into tahini?

- Middle Eastern dips and protesting salmon farming

was our thing.

- Ugh, Zack is here.

I'd recognize those Shrek Crocs anywhere.

[AJ sighs]

- Single girl fun?

- Single girl fun.

[light violin music]

? ?

- Oh.

And there's Robert, looking very much healthy and alive.

- Yes, he does.

- And there's Sarah.

- So what's our vibe tonight?

Mean girls or women supporting women?

- In the spirit of celebrating life,

let's do supporting women.

- Great. Love Sarah. She's glowing.

- Radiant. Stunning.

My eyes are looking at a mermaid.

[camera shutter clicks]

- Robert and Sarah are offering almond butter stouts

and orange wine with tannins on the side

if you'd like to spoon some in.

- Is there, like, regular alcohol?

- There is not.

- [softly] OK.

- Thank you. - Thanks

Cheers. - Cheers.

? ?

Mine is, like, stuck in the glass.

? ?

[energetic classical music]

- [laughs] You design toothpaste flavors?

That's crazy!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bye.

? ?

? ?

[laughter]

- I think she's alone, Dennis. - You think so?

- Yes... - What?

- [whispers] She's by herself.

- Oh.

[chuckles]

? ?

[upbeat music]

- [takes deep breath]

? ?

- Thank you so much for coming.

It means a lot. Take care.

? ?

- [laughs] Hey! - Hey.

- You here by yourself? [laughter]

Kidding.

Beautiful ceremony.

Yeah.

- I'm so glad you could make it, Ruby.

- Wouldn't miss it.

I'm so happy for you, Robert.

- I am too.

I feel like I finally found the other half of my spirit

and I feel complete.

- Yeah.

Must be a good feeling.

- Oh, it really is.

- [chuckling] Yeah.

You said.

So speaking of other halves of spirits,

and this is not a big deal, but I was wondering...

why didn't you give me a plus-one?

- Oh, uh, you know,

it was just a policy Sarah and I had

for people who weren't in a significant relationship.

- Ooh, right. - Yeah.

- But--and again, this is not a big deal at all,

but did you know for a fact

that I wasn't in a significant relationship,

or did you just assume?

- I--I thought I'd heard.

- Because it kind of feels like you assumed

and I'm not sure why.

Like, we texted when I asked if you were molested

on that Nickelodeon show, which honestly feels like

it would have been the perfect opportunity

to ask, but you didn't.

And I guess I don't know,

I don't know why you think it was so crazy

that I'd be with someone,

because I actually thought I did a--I don't know--

a nice job in our relationship.

I didn't just give up.

I-- I considered your feelings.

I developed shared interests.

I compromised.

I tried.

Which, honestly, is why I was surprised

when you broke up with me.

But I mean, it is fine.

It is fine.

It is fine. It was forever ago.

And now--and now you are here marrying Sarah,

who is a radiant mermaid.

But also, like,

how did you know we weren't right?

- This.

- Huh?

- This is how I knew.

I mean, you're making my wedding about you

while my parents

and a line of people are waiting to talk to me.

- I'm not making it about me.

You were making this about me when you assumed

that I was single and I'm just trying--

- Why are we talking about this?

- Well, I would have talked to my plus-one about it,

but I didn't get one.

- Maybe if you weren't like this,

you'd have a plus-one.

Like, this is why I didn't want Sarah to invite you.

You haven't changed at all.

I cannot believe you're still this selfish.

Now if you wouldn't mind,

my old pediatrician would like to congratulate me.

DocDoc Steiner! Hey!

How's it going?

[indistinct chatter]

? ?

- Stout and a spoon, please. - Here you go.

- Having fun?

- Not in the slightest.

You?

- Nope.

I've gotten zero compliments on my kimono.

One person even called it cultural appropriation.

But I'm like, whatever, dude.

Like, women wear berets, so-- [scoffs]

- It's hard to argue with any part of that.

[inhales deeply]

At least our girl is having fun.

- Please. She's not really learning how to play.

[sighs]

You want a real drink?

- If you have been drinking actual alcohol at this thing,

I swear to Elsbeth.

- Hey, everyone.

It's me, Craig.

Uh, who's ready for two long-ish stories about Robert?

- I also have weed.

- Let us go far from this place.

- This one is, uh, the kegger.

Uh, he was wrestling with my dad.

[indistinct chatter]

[crickets chirping]

[Ruby slurps]

- Mm. - [chuckling] You OK?

- Oh, yeah.

Sort of.

The groom just told me some...

rude information about myself.

But I don't know. You'd probably just agree.

- Try me.

- Well, he said I was selfish.

- [coughs and laughs]

Yeah, big time.

- [sighs]

- But whatever. [clears throat]

Aren't we all? You, me, everyone?

Robert? That ding-dong is selfish.

I mean, who has all their friends

ferry out to the woods on a Thursday?

Fuck that guy.

- Yeah, fuck that guy.

Maybe it seems like I'm selfish,

but really, it's like AJ says,

I just have high standards for myself.

- I get it.

Every time I leave the apartment,

I think maybe, just maybe,

I'll save a baby.

From whatever.

Like, an out-of-control car, or, like, a falling elevator,

neglectful nanny.

I don't know.

Probably won't happen.

- I mean, if I'm being honest...

guess I thought it would all turn out better,

that I'd be...

further along by now.

- It's like we all have this idea of where we should be.

And there's where we are.

The reality.

With our careers, our relationships.

Like, how's someone's supposed to know, like,

this is the person I'm supposed to end up with?

- Totally.

Life doesn't come with a manual.

[chuckling] Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

I don't know where that came from.

I think I read it on a dish towel.

[Zack chuckles]

Still good with that kimono choice?

- Um--

- You still think that was

a smart move to wear to the wedding?

- I do. This shit is awesome.

I'm never going back on this choice.

Look at all these folds I can, like, store stuff in.

I'm like fucking 007. Look at all this stuff.

[Ruby chuckling] I got a flask.

I got my weed in here.

I got my driver's license, my motel room key.

- [chuckling] Oh, fancy. Motel room key.

- Yeah, well, I'm a pretty fancy guy.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[old-timey accent] You're a fancy guy with your--

with your kimono and its folds.

You gonna take a girl home tonight?

- Yeah, I'm gonna take every girl--

every woman in these woods home.

- [chuckling] Oh, yeah, you are!

You're going to take all the women home from these woods.

- Yeah, I'm like Winnie the Pooh

looking for that honey pot.

- Search for that honey pot, you fancy kimono man!

- I'm like a little bumblebee looking to sting.

- Ooh, a-buzz, a-buzz, a-buzz. - [laughs]

- Buzz, buzzing towards your honey.

- That's right, that's right. - Buzz towards your honey pot.

- You fancy kimon--

[tense music]

? ?

Oh, fuck!

- Oh! Oh, my God! Get up! Get up!

Oh, my God, we did the worst.

We did the absolute worst.

We did the fucking worst!

Oh, oh!

And, like, 20 missed texts from AJ.

Where did you go? Hello?

A selfie in bed next to the cellist.

Cello! - Hold up. What?

What the fuck?

I can't believe she did that.

- I can't believe we did this!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

[inhales deeply]

We can never tell her what happened, OK?

Never! - Why would I tell her?

She would never talk to me again.

- And shit. It's Friday.

I have to work.

Oh! [groans]

Just make us a couple Keurigs while I shower, OK?

Oh, I hope there's Wi-Fi on the ferry.

I am a monster!

- [sighs]

- [sighs] Sorry I'm late.

I had to go back into the woods for my heels.

- Hey, no worries.

Gave the chef time to prepare all the different smelts.

? ?

- Uh, right.

That is what we're doing today.

The smelt tasting.

Yum.

- Yeah, my parents are gonna love this.

Different types of oily, buttery fishes.

That is their heaven.

- Mine too. [Isaac chuckles]

Is there any way I could get, like, a Sprite?

- Mm, I cannot believe

there are eight different ways to enjoy smelt.

Mm! Chef's kiss!

Um, yes, chef.

- Those are two different--

- Hi, you must be Ruby. I'm Merci.

- [chuckling] Hi. I didn't realize you'd be here today.

Hi.

- Yeah, Merci's a huge foodie like my mom.

She wanted to come to the tasting.

- Mm, I love food.

Just like GeeGeeGigi. [Isaac chuckles]

- Uh, what words are those?

- Oh, that's what I call Isaac's mom, GeeGeeGigi.

We're, like, very close.

- OK, wonderful. That's--love that.

- OK, first smelt is up.

Who's ready for a fish so tender

you can spread it like cream cheese?

- Mm.

- For a second, you're gonna think

your body can't hold it.

But count to ten, and it will.

- [inhales deeply] Stop talking about the fish.

- Mmm. - Wow.

- So, uh, Merci, I've heard so much about you.

You're a marine biologist?

- Mm-hmm. Yeah.

And I also work with a charity

that's very near and dear to my heart.

- [gasps] That's so selfless of you.

Which one?

- People Experiencing Car-lessness,

Specifically Women.

Yeah, we provide transportation to un-carred people.

Specifically women.

- Oh.

That sounds like a great cause.

[chuckles]

I'm trying to understand it, but it's hard.

So women who don't have cars, you give them one?

- Yes, but not just un-carred.

They're also usually un-homed.

[phone buzzing]

Oh, sorry, it's the lab.

Hey, Glenda.

OK, well, did you get the blood work back?

Excuse me. - Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

No, I'm listening.

Hold on, I'm just--

I'm just going to--

OK. OK, I'm here.

Yeah.

[phone buzzing]

[Ruby sighs]

- You OK?

- Honestly, no.

I made a horrible mistake at last night's Thursday wedding,

and I just--

I did something unforgivable to a friend.

- Hey, look, we--

we all do things we regret.

It doesn't mean you're a bad person.

Is it your friend AJ?

- How'd you know?

- Well, he seems to really want to get a hold of you.

- Oh. [chuckles]

AJ's a she.

- OK.

Um, does AJ know what happened?

- I've never kept a secret from her before.

- Well, I mean, this is clearly someone who's important to you.

The sooner you tell her,

the sooner you can get past whatever it is

and get your friendship back on track.

- OK, second smelt.

Listen, I'm not gonna lie to you guys.

This one is tough.

- Rubes, that you?

- Yeah, it's me.

Sorry I didn't call you back. I was, uh, slammed at work.

Fuck.

- We got back together!

- No, I--

Zack took all his gaming stuff.

- He called this morning.

I told him I hooked up with the cellist,

which really seemed to upset him.

He told me he hooked up with someone,

and it led to a whole big discussion,

like an actual adult discussion

about what we want and what we need.

It was different and nice.

And then...

sawfish!

I'm naming him Terrence.

- OK, wow!

- Zack's just bringing his stuff back over

from his friend Felix's place.

Who do you think he hooked up with?

Did you see him talking to anyone?

- I think it...

was the bartender.

- I had a feeling.

Anyway, that's not what I needed to tell you.

Where have you been?

- Oh, I, uh--

I was gonna take a bus back,

but I just fell asleep in the woods.

- Disgusting.

I cannot believe you left

before the speeches last night.

It was crazy.

- Yeah, so as many of you

who are close to me know,

I'm dying, so I got married.

Check everything off the bucket list.

- No.

Not Robert!

- Yes. Lymphoma.

And that's not even the best part.

Look what I figured out.

We found out about the deaths in this order,

but David actually died first,

so they really died in this order.

And I'm gonna redo all this. It's gonna look good.

But just so you can see,

they died in the order you slept with them.

[somber dramatic music]

- No.

No, this--

that can't be true.

- I hate to say, but it is.

- Michael!

You forgot Michael.

I slept with Michael in between Jeffrey and Stu.

He just liked an Instagram post

of a James Baldwin poem I paraphrased.

Michael's fine.

[tense somber music]

? ?

- That's six.

- [whispering] My vagina is killing people.

- ? It's an emergency ?

[Cecile Believe's "Bitch Bites Dog"]

? My salivating kitty needs a dog on a leash ?

? She walks me sometimes ?

? When I want to lose my mind ?

? And I want to lose my mind tonight ?

? Will this feeling ever go away? ?

? Will it take a sixth extinction ?

? Just to kill off all the pain? ?

? Wish I could live my life in peace ?

? Without ripping off a little bit of meat ?

? I can't take another night inside my body ?

? I can't take another night inside my body ?

? I can't take another night inside my body ?

? Better get home and satisfy before this bitch bites dog ?

? Bitch bites dog ?

? ?

? Bitch bites-- ?

- I think that's a good idea.

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