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Stand by for the mail.

Stand by for the mail.

We know you're not a pirate. We know.

You'll get your knife back

when we dock in Singapore.

You just get on a phone and call Scranton, PA,

and ask anybody about J. Wilberforce Timmons--

Have you any arms, sir?

Just these you see growing out of me armpits.

You'll do.

No excuses, Mr. Atkins.

Your job is to look after this dock.

If I ever find it in this state again,

I'll-- I'll...

How's your wife?

Oh, she's very much better, sir.

And thank you very much for the flowers.

Oh, don't thank me.

My gardener has to get rid of them somehow.

Who's the big shot?

Sir Guy Wilmerding.

Managing director of the line.

Right this way, Sir Guy. Gangway, please.

Glad to have you with us again, sir.

Oh, none of that mush. I know how glad you are.

Hm. Not bad. Not bad at all...

for a synthetic stone.

You ought to know, Paul.

My lovely Olga!

Hey, I bet that lug's tops in China.

That's the insignia of Wing Yu-Lan.

Everything in the archipelago pays dividends to him.

Good morning, purser.

Good morning, Miss Yu-Lan.

We've made arrangements

to take your chairs aboard

in the after-gangway.

Thank you.

Mr. Dawson, sir, here comes the captain.

Look at him, with a three-days' hangover,

and watch him grouse.

Of all the ungrateful, brass-hearted skippers

of a rusty old teakettle...

who thinks he's still strutting

in the Royal Navy.

Ah, our captain.

Oh, Alan? Alan Gaskell?

I've got some last-minute cargo for you.

Oh, hello, Ken.

What are you doing up in broad daylight?

Oh, Captain Gaskell.

I want you to meet Charlie McCaleb,

the American novelist.

How do you do? How do you do?

Well, Hong Kong seems to have taken you to her bosom.

Wait a minute. I've seen your face before.

Now, don't tell me, it's right on the tip of my tongue.

Remember Johnson?

Johnson? Who?

Johnson.

Oh, Johnny, old boy.

What are you doing way out here?

Maybe you can tell me.

No, no. This is Captain Gaskell.

The master of the ship you're sailing on.

Hiya, captain. Coming along with us?

Yes, yes, I'm afraid so.

He's supposed to be here gathering material

for a new novel. I've dragged him

through wars, riots and revolutions.

He doesn't even know he's in China.

If you should stir up anything exciting,

why, shove him in a front seat

and tie his eyes open.

Now, wait a minute.

I'm not running a day nursery,

and I'm not stirring up any excitement

just for the sake of literature.

See you later.

Don't you worry, old fella.

I'll be right there. I'm the old Ringside Kid.

Got an eye like an eagle.

Goodbye, Captain Greshall. I had a marvelous trip.

Ship ahoy!

Ship ahoy!

Ship ahoy.

Are you all right, Charley?

I cover the waterfront.

Steward! Yes, sir? Good morning.

Is that your idea of clean brass? Sorry, sir--

You haven't answered my question.

No, sir, it isn't my idea of clean brass.

You've been sampling my whiskey again, haven't you?

Uh, yes, sir.

Not as good as the last lot, is it? Uh, no, sir.

Why haven't you done something about it?

I will, sir. Thank you.

Thank you, sir. Sir Guy wants to see you, sir.

Good morning, captain.

Good morning.

Ah. So there you are.

Good morning, Mrs. Aiken.

We were just talking about you, captain.

Mrs. Aiken tells me

you've been sensationally blotto

ever since you went ashore.

Sir Guy!

Oh, she does, eh?

You don't like my behavior ashore

or aboard ship, you can get a new boy.

In fact, I wish you would.

Ha! You wouldn't go if you could.

Wouldn't I?

I'm so close to being back to England now,

I can hear Big Ben chiming.

I've heard that from men for 50 years.

It's only the weak ones

that sneak out of the China Seas.

It's the bullheads like you that stay on.

What about a little spot

to keep your brain from addling?

No. I haven't the time.

I've got to get the pride of your fleet underway.

Mr. Rockwell!

Go to the captain's saloon.

Check those chronometers.

Good morning, sir. Good morning.

Third officer hasn't come aboard yet, sir.

Yes, I know. I've just been looking him over.

He's in the Sepoy Hospital.

Tried to clean out High Spade McQueen's last night.

Bad, sir?

Yes. Knife in the kidneys.

Port captain's trying to find someone to replace him.

What have you got in your mouth?

Chewing tobacco, sir.

It's bad enough to have a ship like this

and a captain that looks like me

without having a chief officer who looks like you.

I'm sorry, sir.

Had it in me jaw when I came on duty,

and I forgot all about it.

Oh, Mr. Willet of the Royal Canada Bank

is waiting to see you, sir.

He's just down there at your quarters.

Thank you.

Hello, Willet.

Good morning, captain.

Gold come aboard yet?

Yes, sir.

All stowed away as we agreed?

In the steamroller.

Good.

Thank you, sir.

Wipe that smile off your face!

Is that your idea of clean brass?

You haven't answered my question.

Did I ask you?

A little too big for you, isn't it, Mr. Rockwell?

I apologize, sir.

Chief officer sent me down

to check the chronometers.

Yeah.

But I don't keep them in my cap.

No, sir.

What are you gonna do with that button?!

Button it, sir.

I was just hoping you weren't too angry with me, sir.

Oh, carry on.

Thank you, sir.

Excuse me, sir.

Who's in there?

It's China Doll.

A gal that drives men mad.

What the devil are you doing aboard?

Nothing, lambie.

Just showering the dewdrops off the body beautiful.

How many hours do we have to spend

saying goodbye before it takes?

That's just the trouble, toots.

It took too good.

Gee, you were sweet to me.

Uh, say, I thought maybe you could use

all that money you won at the Tai Fan last night.

Then we were there?

We had a million laughs. I made 17 straight passes myself.

Get on your horse. We're shoving off--

Why are you anxious to get me out?

Is that hunk of caviar making the round trip?

What hunk of caviar?

That red-headed Russian princess aboard from Singapore.

She isn't a Russian, and she isn't a princess,

and I have my doubts about her hair being red.

I don't care what she is.

If she was a Chinese sextet, it'd be the same thing to me.

What I'm trying to get through your numb skull

is that I'm not gonna stand by and--

Now, wait a minute, Dolly.

You and I are friends.

We've had a lot of fun together.

And as far as I'm concerned,

you're a number one girl in the archipelago.

But I don't remember making any vows to you,

nor do I recall asking for any.

Don't you get polite at me.

When you start talking with your high hat on, I...

I know you mean it, and--

And it scares me.

Say, who do you think you are, anyway?

If I had a nickel's worth of pride--

If that's the way you feel,

I'm not standing in your way.

That's just the soup I'm in.

I don't feel that way at all.

You-- You dog.

Well, that's more like it.

Come in.

Pilot tug's alongside, sir.

All right. Stand by to single up your lines fore and aft.

Aye-aye, sir.

All right, come on now, nuisance. Over shore.

What am I gonna do with my ticket?

It's all paid for.

I knew you had something up your sleeve.

We'll get your money back.

But I got a job in Singapore. Honest--

Oh, yes. I suppose they've elected you mayor.

It's on the level. Hoffmann sent me a contract

for the rest of the season.

No. Look, I know how you feel about it.

I won't come near you. Nobody will--

No.

All right, toots. You-- You win.

I-- I hope you have a good trip. Goodbye.

Oh, all right, all right.

If you've got your ticket and a job,

I don't suppose I--

Lambie!

Stop wrestling me around!

You're turning this skiff into an excursion launch.

Come on! Snap into it with the fore hold loading.

So you just came down to say goodbye?

You brought enough cigarettes to last on a voyage to New York.

Oh, I'll smoke a lot more cigarettes than that, toots,

before we ever really say goodbye.

Listen, I told you to--

Oh.

Good morning, sir.

Davids, isn't it? Tom Davids?

Yes, sir.

Your port captain told me

to report for duty as third officer.

Duty as what?

Third officer.

These rocking-chair sailors ashore.

Here I am in the middle of the typhoon season,

a tough voyage ahead.

I ask for a fighter, and they send me a punching bag.

Give me a chance. It's the first one I've had for over a year.

I know these waters better than most.

I've sailed them as a master for over 10 years.

No one had a better record on this coast than I had.

Then, just because of an accident...

I'm not a coward.

Stow it, Davids.

You let pirates scuttle your ship,

and you lost every white man aboard except yourself.

The board of trade lifted your ticket, I didn't.

Give me a chance. Please.

You got a uniform?

Nothing clean, sir.

All right, I'll have the steward give you one of mine.

Yes, sir.

Report to Mr. Dawson.

I'll have the uniform laundered

and return it to you.

Oh, that's all right.

Keep it. You'll probably need it.

Thank you, sir.

Well, if it ain't old rough-on-rats himself.

How are you, Jamesy?

Dolly, you're looking just as pretty as ever.

What have you been doing?

Bidding the big boy goodbye, huh?

Goodbye, nothing.

I'm making this voyage.

No, you're not. Yeah.

Why, I'm just as happy

as if I'd won the Calcutta sweepstakes.

You ought to have the shekels

piled up to the roof by now.

I haven't done so bad, you know, uh...

Dolly, I'm still willing to share it all with you.

Oh, whoa--

Say, there ain't enough dough in all Asia

to make me change the way I feel about one guy.

Still crazy about that Gaskell, huh?

Well, whenever you get tired of running around with an Airedale,

and you want to run around with a Saint Bernard,

why, you let me know.

Sure. Whenever I get lost in the Alps,

I'll whistle for you.

All right. I'll come running.

Goodbye, Dolly.

See you later.

You be easy with them there pigs.

Well, Kingston, you're a wonder.

How you've been able to sail with that sour-bellied Gaskell

as long as you have, I don't know.

Hello, Jamesy. Well, Captain Gaskell.

I was just telling Kingston

how happy I was to be sailing with you.

Hey, stow that on the port side.

Yes, yes. You're still

carrying that cargo of soft soap, eh?

No, no. Really, I mean it.

You don't know what a safe feeling it is

to be sailing with a captain

that's never been raided by the pirates.

Well, there's not much profit for pirates

in this zoo of yours.

Who are you swindling with this scrubby lot, huh?

That's the finest lot of animals I've ever shipped.

Well, they're not as noisy

as that last batch of sopranos you had.

Say now, Jamesy, just between you and me,

what do you give them to keep them quiet?

I just give them one of these little pills,

and they sleep and dream all the way across.

Never lose a pound.

I don't suppose you ever thought of giving them a little gravel

just to add a pound, though.

Why, captain, that would be dishonest.

They got big feet for singsong girls, haven't they?

Well, they-- They don't bandage the feet nowadays.

These are enlightened days.

Those feet are big even for enlightened days.

Captain Gaskell, sir-- Sir Rockwell.

What does a woman do when you throw something at her?

A woman--?

She dodges it. A man catches it.

Here, catch!

Sergeant of the guard!

Charge them with attempted piracy.

Ask the police commissioner to wireless me

anything he can sweat out.

Hido. Hido.

You go ashore. Tell Moray to bail them out

before they start to talk.

Tell Ngah that I'll go through with the job as agreed,

but he'll need more men. Go on.

Hey, captain. That's good work.

You're the finest skipper on this coast.

Thanks.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

See you on the next trip.

Goodbye, and thank you for all your trouble.

Take care of yourself.

I will. So long, Sybil, and good luck.

Thank you so much. B-39.

Thank you. Don't forget to write, Sybil.

I won't.

Sybil.

Alan.

It is Alan.

Oh, so this is your ship.

My, I am lucky.

Yes. Yes, I'm captain of this tub.

Are you visiting out here?

Just traveling.

You might start to unpack, Pether.

I've been just traveling for some time.

I-- I heard about Bart.

I meant to write,

but it was so long after he died.

News is slow out here.

We spoke of you so often,

wondering what you were doing.

Getting into trouble, mostly,

then trying to get out of it.

Well, you're in for more trouble now,

looking after me for a whole voyage.

I'm in your hands again, Alan.

Look here, Alan, can't you get this boat--?

What's wrong?

You look as if you'd seen a ghost.

I have.

Gangplank secure, sir.

All clear forward, sir.

Cast off your bow line.

Aye0-aye, sir.

Good morning.

Morning, captain.

Hiya, neighbor. The name is Timmons.

Aw, I can take it or leave it alone.

No, no, the name. Timmons. T-I-M-M-O-N-S.

I'm the guy that can do it too.

Who is it?

Who is it?!

It's just me, toots.

Listen, when I told you to stay out of here,

I wasn't shadowboxing. I meant it.

Oh, I just came in to borrow a book.

I don't keep them in my bathtub.

I decided to improve my mind.

Hm. You'd better take two books.

Give yourself an even break.

Now, how about you doing

about three turns around the deck before dinner

just to work up an appetite, huh?

Okay, okay, toots.

I know you ain't got much time

to fool around with passengers.

It's your own fault. You wanted to be one.

Except maybe that English dame.

You're becoming very observant.

I saw her when she came aboard.

She looked like she was smelling a dead fish or something.

Considering her surroundings, that's highly possible.

And I also got a load of you

when you moved her into the royal suite.

Why didn't you lay out a red plush carpet for her?

Well, that's just a throwback to my old manners.

The lady happened to know me when I acted that way

for the sheer joy of it.

Oh, I get it. A hometown honey.

I knew her years ago...

and her husband.

Married.

Well, being married don't seem to tie her down none.

He's dead.

So-- So she's back in circulation again.

Well, maybe it's a good thing you didn't...

get hooked up with nobody out here.

Thanks.

But if I'd had a more definite tie,

I might have behaved a bit more decently.

Say, if you ain't decent, boyfriend,

you'll do until something decent comes along.

Out here, maybe.

But anywhere else in the world,

we'd both be a little bit soiled.

Did you ever see an English river, Dolly?

No. I'm dumb at geography,

just like I am at everything else.

Well, it's cool, clear and clean.

Put a stream like that alongside any river out here,

dirty, yellow, muddy...

you'll see the difference.

That was only a few years ago.

The pirates killed every white person aboard,

except the captain, and then scuttled the ship.

Better take care of these pearls in the case of piracy.

Why? They're artificial. They're not worth anything.

Twelve and a half bucks.

Quite a bargain, I'd say.

Where did you get them? She picked them up---

I bought them myself in Tokyo.

Well, you know, it's not always easy

to tell the real from--

I'm sure you didn't pay too much for them.

Bet your sweet life she didn't.

That little woman gets her money's worth every time.

Huh, poopsie?

Hey, you see that chess game over there?

When I was four years old,

I played 10 people all at once.

Blindfolded.

I lost every game.

Pirates. Baloney.

Where did you really get those pearls, hm?

You won't tell Wilbur, will you?

Twelve and a half bucks to Wilbur.

That pirate hooey of yours

is stuff they always tell tourists.

I'll bet they don't rate one through nine

with our rumrunners.

Bosh.

from our pirates.

Even the hijacking.

And that trick of identifying each other

by matching the halves of a torn $100 bill.

Here they use a hundred-pound note.

Sunday paper bunk.

Hey, mate, come here.

Yes, sir?

How are you, Mr. Davids?

How are you, Sir Guy?

Tell him that bunk

about the ship they held up and scuttled.

Get a load of this. It's terrific.

I don't remember saying anything, Timmons.

You can't get out of it like that.

Tell him about the one white officer

who came out of it alive.

What's the matter with that bird?

Was I speaking out of turn?

I'm afraid you were.

That's Tom Davids.

Captain of the ship I was telling you about.

Say, uh, don't look now,

but I think my stomach is full of butterflies.

Isabelle.

Isabel MacCarthy.

Yes'm?

Would you say that I looked like a lady?

Naw, Miss Dolly.

I been with you all too long to insult you thattaway.

Say, what's the difference?

What's that snooty English dame got that I ain't?

She's more refined, like.

She would never wear that dress

with all them shiny beads you got.

That dress is more my type.

You've been hinting for that dress for a month.

Go on and take it.

You spoiled it for me anyway.

You sure got the right feeling though, honey.

I got to let this out a smidgen.

You sure is got the right instincts,

no matter what they all say.

What do they say?

Oh, it's just a mite of talk.

They say you's got yourself

so hooked on to that Captain Gaskell

that he's shaking himself like a wet hound dog

and can't get you loose no how.

Yes, miss, they do.

Like a wet hound dog.

He can't shake me off. I hopped off, see?

And I'm glad I did. Do you hear that?

I'm glad. I'm happy.

Sure you's happy, honey.

But don't you worry. You'll get over it.

Twenty years on the China Seas,

and she never lost a spangle.

I had a spangle once.

It was a cocker spangle.

She had a litter of field mice.

Good evening, Miss Portland.

I've got you the other side of Mr. MacArdle.

Oh, well, I get it. Where is the big guy?

Uh, you mean the captain, miss?

He went-- That is--

I believe he's escorting Mrs. Barclay.

Why doesn't she put a ring in his nose

so she can lead him around easier?

Excuse me, sir. Hey, Ah Feng, bring me

a double hooker of scotch, quick.

Yes, miss.

Well, Jamesy, you old trambo. Long time no see, kid.

No fault of mine, Dolly.

You're the original one-man girl.

As long as I've got a one-gal guy.

I just saw Captain Gaskell upstairs

walking with Mrs. Barclay.

Very lovely looking girl, isn't she?

She couldn't take me away

from a girl like you in a thousand years.

What makes you think

she's taking anything away from me, huh?

Get on the belt line and keep 'em coming.

I think you know everybody, Sybil,

except perhaps Miss Yu-Lan. Mrs. Barclay.

How do you do?

And Miss Portland. How do you do?

Hello.

You needn't be so confoundedly possessive, Alan.

I knew Mrs. Barclay long before you did.

You had such a start. I'm only trying to catch up.

Ah, you had your chance, Sir Guy,

but you spurned me.

Mm.

At least Alan didn't meet me

till after I was married.

That ruins all my guesses.

I had such a romantic meeting

arranged for you two.

The squadron ball at Gibraltar.

Music, lanterns, uniforms...

Her husband was at sea, so I claimed every dance.

We walked back to the hotel together.

With or without moonlight?

Oh, there was a harvest moon.

You've never seen a moon

until you've watched the one over China Seas.

It'll be full by the time

we get to Singapore. Glorious.

Say, speaking of meetings, Jamesy,

do you remember that night in that putang joint in Saigon

when you and me met up with a certain party?

Oh, do I.

There wasn't any moon, but he had a shiner

on his left eye that lit up the whole street.

A cut on his right leg. He'd have bled to death

if it hadn't been for China Doll here.

Oh, my, that was a romantic meeting.

She saved his life.

And never got a word of thank for it.

I wish I could tell you what she said when I tried it.

You never used to be

so particular about your language.

That's right, Dolly.

This will be an awful comedown

after the Royal Mail.

Oh, I don't know.

There's something very real and dramatic

about this atmosphere.

You know, pirates and machine guns, barricades--

Mr. McCaleb, I want you to meet

a literary rival of yours, Mrs. Barclay.

Good evening, Mr. McCaleb.

Thanks, I've got all the insurance I can handle.

Mrs. Barclay,

I'm sure I saw you in London

two years ago.

Why, of course, Miss Yu-Lan.

It was at the American Embassy and then again

at the Gainsboroughs' in Sussex.

Peg, isn't she the most amazing hostess?

It was only two years before that--

Too amazing for words.

There I was, with a cinder in me eye

as large as a paving block,

with the grand duke on one side of me

and the marquis on the other,

both trying to pull my top lid over my bottom.

Uh, Miss Portland is a professional entertainer.

Oh, I am? Maybe you'd like me to try something else.

No, I'm afraid you haven't anything left for an encore.

Hm, so you think it's funny, huh?

What are you grinning at?

You must be very fond of him.

What makes you think so?

To humiliate yourself like this.

I'll see you later, Alan.

Don't worry. He knows where the royal suite is,

and so do I.

I had it the first time I sailed on this ship!

The more violent the storm,

the sooner it subsides.

When I want you to sound off, golden bells,

I'll pull your rope.

I, uh-- I apologize for this exhibition.

It's all my fault.

And as the man said when they were about to hang him,

"This'll be a lesson to me."

Madam chairman and ladies of this literary group,

it is with sentiments of profound respect

that I address you this afternoon,

because woman is the mother of all literature.

I thank you.

Hey, look. I'm awful sorry I blew up.

Honest, I am.

But hookers of scotch and the fact

that I'm so fightin' nuts about ya--

You saved me a lot of trouble.

You painted the whole dirty picture for her

with a nice, truthful brush. Thanks.

Gee, toots, don't talk to me like that.

I get scared when you put the freeze on me.

Look, I'll go to her, apologize, do anything in the world--

You keep as far away from her as you can.

And farther away from me.

Come.

Captain Gaskell, sir.

Well, what's wrong, Mr. Rockwell?

This navigation chart--

Excuse me, sir.

It's this navigation problem, sir.

I'm having trouble with it.

Trouble? Yes, sir.

Yes, I should say you are.

If your figures are correct, Mr. Rockwell,

this ship is in the middle of the Sahara Desert.

Yes, sir. It has me worried, sir.

Yes.

Well, suppose you try adding, here,

instead of subtracting.

Perhaps that'll put us back in the ocean again.

Yes, sir.

Thank you, sir.

All right.

Excuse me, sir.

How's it, toots?

Well, go on and play dumb if you want to.

I just came in to tell ya I'm not gonna come around

and pester ya anymore.

Look.

I'm takin' all my cigarettes.

You know, it's moonlight outside.

Gee, it's pretty.

Ain't it funny,

we always fight when it's moonlight

and make up when it's rainin'?

It's about time for the rainy season,

ain't it, toots?

Aw, come on out of the trenches.

I'm not gonna throw any bombs.

I'm harmless.

Yes, of course.

You're as harmless as a revolution.

Well, don't forget your cigarettes.

I won't.

I know an exit line when I hear one.

Well, anyway,

it won't be so lonely while Jamesy's aboard.

I hate to hear you talk like that, Dolly.

Well, a gal's got to do the best she can

with what's around.

You owe yourself more than that.

The trouble is, boyfriend,

there ain't any male Mrs. Barclays.

So charming, so refeened.

The real trouble is,

there aren't enough female Mrs. Barclays.

Don't give it another thought, Alan.

I once hoped you'd know me very well,

but not that well.

But when you once hoped, you--

You weren't in this part of the world.

No. That's true.

But here I am.

Yes?

Captain Gaskell.

Mr. MacArdle wants to go forward

to look after his animals.

No. MacArdle can't look at his animals.

I wouldn't let an admiral go forward without a guard.

You find it an exciting part of the world, don't you?

Exciting? Nursing and cursing a bunch of leftovers

who are supposed to be officers?

Derelicts for a crew?

But ashore, the glamor of--

Yes, yes. You saw me this morning

after a trip ashore.

Did I look particularly glamorous?

Well, I wasn't thinking of backgrounds.

That girl-- She's glamorous, surely.

Sybil.

I don't deny her.

But you know why I came out here.

Why I resigned from the service.

It's all I could do.

Yes. We--

I might have cracked up Bart's life if you'd stayed.

Sybil.

If I thought there was the slightest chance,

I... I'd stumble out with everything

I wanted to say six years ago, I--

Alan, I have a confession to make.

I'm not just traveling.

I followed a memory, traced you here.

And now that I've found you,

I don't care how you've lived.

I'll always be in love with you.

I'll jump ship at Singapore.

We'll dig up a magistrate or a chaplain.

A Buddhist monk, if there's none other.

We'll go back together.

Oh, England.

I've a place in Sussex

with a fireplace you can stand in.

Your cocoa, sir.

Oh, yes. Yes, yes.

Come in, old man. Come right in.

What's the matter? What happened to you?

The chef's been at the vanilla extract again, sir.

Went for me with a cleaver.

A cleaver's a new matter, sir.

Ah, yes. Well, give him a quart of brandy to taper off on.

He'll be all right in the morning.

Sybil, I want you to meet

the best chief steward in the line, Ted Gary.

Honest as the day is long.

And he said to Mrs. Barclay, right in front of me,

I was the best steward in the line.

"Honest as the day is long."

And never a word about that last bottle of whiskey I pinched.

No doubt, the old man's going soft.

Relieved me right in the middle of me watch

so I could come to breakfast.

Called me Bertie.

I had a chaw of tobacco in my mouth

as big as that, and he never even noticed.

And he said he'd take me to the races ashore.

Well...

That's the way it is with those two-bottle men.

I've never seen it fail.

All of a sudden...

I knew a man once in Liverpool that way...

Shh! Davids.

Aren't you going to wait for your coffee?

No.

It's too stuffy here.

And smelly too.

May I please have the sugar, sir?

Thank you.

Mark!

Good.

Lovely shot. Grand, Miss Yu-Lan

That's a lovely gun.

I hope that they don't leave them laying around loose.

Captain lock 'em up

all the time we no use.

That's good.

Mark.

Hiya.

Ah, good morning.

Good morning. Oh, good morning.

I guess she's still burned.

Mark.

I got it that time.

I'm afraid you're much too consistent for me.

Well, not at all.

Mark.

I received your note.

It really wasn't necessary.

Oh, I'm sorry I acted so crazy.

Say, Jamesy,

how about you and me startin'

a little competition for the common people, huh?

All right. I-I'll bet you a shilling.

Okay.

Bring us a gun.

There you are.

Are you and Captain Gaskell going to make your home

in Singapore or Hong Kong?

I don't think we're going to stay out here at all.

Did you hear what she said?

It's all over the ship that they're going to get married

the minute they get into Singapore.

That's why Gaskell's turned sunny-side up.

Mark!

I think you're very wise not to stay in the Orient.

We have a saying out here:

"After the cheap, strong wine,

the most delicate tea has little flavor."

Oh, be careful!

Oh, I'm sorry. I--

Quite all right.

You had no idea the gun was loaded.

Aw, you don't think I pointed it at ya on purpose, do ya?

There's nothing to think about,

Miss Portland.

The gestures of a woman like you

simply do not exist.

Mark.

It's beautiful, the way these ducks

know how to throw the old harpoon.

That's one of the advantages

of a very fine cosmopolitan education.

Come on, Jamesy.

Let's you and me take a powder.

Clay pigeons.

That's the thrilling sort of life

you're headed for in England, Alan.

Shooting clay pigeons. Hm.

Exactly.

And whether you believe it or not,

I'll revel in it.

Greetings, boyfriend.

Well, I... I understand congratulations are in order.

I'd like to be the first to wish you the best.

Heh. You'll need it.

One day, you'll say something nice

and never forgive yourself.

Look, toots, I...

Aw, gee, I don't blame ya for being sore.

I know I've done a lot of stupid gabbing,

but this is on the level. I wish you all the luck.

And that's one baby you'll never have to be ashamed of.

She's the real McCoy, and she'll make a...

a marvelous wife for ya.

I wish you meant that.

I do.

Well--

Well, that's better.

Now, let's quit good friends,

instead of like a couple of cabdrivers

after a drunken brawl.

Yeah.

I guess that's the way it ought to be done.

But I ain't been brought up to do the right thing

like that English dame.

All I can say is what's down inside of me.

And I don't care how long

you've been carryin' the torch for her.

You can't quit me any more than I can quit you,

and you can kiss a stack of cookbooks on that!

Whew!

Thank you.

Well, anyway, it'll be quieter in England.

Wait till you get there, if you ever do.

What's to keep me?

Well, I've been trying it for 30 years.

There's something about this place.

From my windows,

I can see the whole harbor of Hong Kong.

Big ships coming,

big ships going.

The China I know,

the China I've helped to make.

And on quiet nights, off in the hills,

I can hear the sound of distant firing.

They were at it when I came,

and they'll be at it after I've gone.

More guns won't stop 'em.

Too many of 'em.

And the only things they respect

are courage and honor.

Yes, and England's power.

England's place here can never be any greater

than the men who represent her.

They might be able to use an Englishman

at home, sometime, you know.

Well, I was hoping that someday you'd take my place.

I had me eye on you for a long time.

Well, take it off.

I'm quitting the China Seas as soon as we dock.

Hm.

Well, if you're in earnest--

Dead earnest.

I'd better be looking

for somebody to take your command, eh?

What about Dawson?

Dawson?

Take my ship?

I've always heard you speak highly of him.

Yes.

Yes, of course I speak highly of him.

Uh, Dawson's one of the best.

Absolutely.

You couldn't do better.

Dawson.

I never forget a name or a face.

Now, I've seen you somewhere before.

You've seen me a dozen times a day since--

No, don't tell me. Don't tell me.

It's on the tip of my tongue.

The name is Timmons. T-I-M-M-O-N-S.

How do you pronounce that?

Timmons. Timmons!

Timmons! T-I-M-M--

I thought he said "Timmons."

I drink to the health of Admiral Puff.

My compliments to Mr. Dawson.

Tell him I'll be up on the bridge shortly.

I drink to the health of Admiral Puff.

Steward!

Whoopee! Are you good, Jamesy!

Attaboy, Jamesy!

You called, sir?

What? Oh, yes, yes.

See that all the staterooms and portholes are secured.

We're in for a blow.

Will it be a real storm, Alan?

Terrifying?

All seas aren't alike. Can't tell much more.

I did hope for your sake, though, it'd be an easy trip.

That's too much to expect from the China Seas.

Attaboy! Whoo!

Anything else, sir?

What?

Yes.

You might tell them that anybody that can't hold

his or her liquor better lay off until this blows is over.

I'm afraid you're a good influence on him, Sybil,

and I deplore it.

All right, here we go again.

I beg your pardon.

Here's to the health of Admiral Puff Puff Puff,

three times.

Okay? Perfect.

I think you did one bounce too many.

Ah, she was all right.

I had my eye on her just like a hawk.

My dear fellow, what do you suppose I was doing?

Ah, there's two against one. Two against one.

The captain says the weather's blowing up.

A word to the wise.

Come on, Jamesy! We're off again.

Greatest game in the world.

It makes men remember and women forget.

I'll play this game until you can't remember

anything but your little Jamesy.

Here's to the health of Admiral Puff

three times.

Oh, keno! You forgot to say "Admiral Puff Puff Puff."

Oh, doggone it anyway, I--

Drink up, sir, and start all over again.

Come on, down the hatch.

Aw, don't look so sad, toots.

You're doin' swell.

Have you ever noticed, Sir Guy,

that a man is never angry with a woman he doesn't like?

I had not, until now.

Me either.

And I shall be more pleasant to her after this.

Shall we?

Good evening, skipper.

How's the barometer doin'?

Falling to a new low.

Well, don't let that worry you, captain.

Say, where you been keepin' yourself, stranger?

Have breakfast with me in the morning,

if you can eat anything.

I'll be there.

Nothing takes my appetite.

Say, how about joining the game

that kills all care?

Oh, I'm afraid it would kill me too.

Good night.

Kill nothing.

All you need is a wooden, hollow leg

to play this game.

Here's to the health of Admiral, uh...

Prosit.

Prosit.

Missed out again, Jamesy. Sock it down, boy!

It's thickening up like mud, sir.

We're runnin' right into it.

Running into it?

We're in it already.

Why don't you keep her on her course?

What are you trying to do, write your name in the ocean?

Old man's getting back to normal.

Good thing with this comin' on.

Put your oilskins on and get to your stations.

Stick her nose right into it. Yes, sir.

Mr. Davids, tell the steward to look out for his passengers.

Better get life belts on them. Yes, sir.

Exciting, sir, isn't it?

My first typhoon.

Really?

Well, if you live long enough,

you may see another one sometime.

Get to your station!

Yes, sir.

Excuse me, sir.

Chief, keep up a full head of steam.

We're in for a twister.

Heh. Good old Grandfather.

Don't get panicky.

Just stick by me!

Hey, stop showing off.

Come on up here.

Come on, lady, slip into this.

I really shouldn't, you know, with my figure.

Uh, tie it up in the front.

Let me help ya, miss.

You've lost your pearls.

No, I-I broke the string. Mr. Romanoff has them.

Yes, yes, I will restring them for her

as soon as we get out of this.

Oh, I never want to see them again.

Throw them away. Do anything you please.

Oh, if we only come out of this alive.

Now, now, poopsie.

Don't let a little wind blow you off your feet.

Have you seen Miss Portland, sir?

Isn't she in her cabin? No.

By Jove! If she went out on deck

in the condition she was in--

You all-- You all don't suppose she's been washed overboard?

Can't find Miss Portland, sir!

Afraid she may have been washed overboard.

Keep your hand to it!

Aye-aye, sir. Where's MacArdle?

His door is locked, sir.

Why didn't you break it down?

I was afraid to without orders.

That's the game, ya old beachcomber!

I beat you. Do you hear that?

I won.

Prosit.

Ha-- Whoa!

Hey, that's the typhoon.

That's a typhoon, Jamesy.

Come on, give me the other 20 you owe me. Come on.

Ah, quit stallin', Jamesy,

and give me that 20 you owe me.

All right, if you won't give it to me,

I'll take it.

Oh...

Oh.

What a twister that was.

Hello, Dolly.

Well, where are you going?

Oh, winners always go home, don't they?

What's the idea of lockin' the door?

Caveman stuff, huh?

Ah, no, it's-- It's just a force of habit, Dolly.

Say, are you trying to insult me?

Did I ever take anything that wasn't comin' to me?

Why, darling, you--

You know that you could have

anything that I've got, anytime.

Now, come on, you.

Fork that over.

All right, welsher.

Th-there's £200, and I won, and won on the level.

If you ain't a good enough sport--

No, you don't.

You know what I'm talking about.

You know what I mean.

You know, it's pretty stormy out there, and you never know

when you might wash overboard.

Are you threatenin' me?

Dolly, you seen it. I haven't!

I tell you, you seen it. I haven't!

I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm talking about that half of the £100 note

that you took from my wallet.

I don't know what you're saying,

but I'll forget you ever said anything.

It would do you no good to double-cross me.

This is a hanging matter.

I don't want to hear another word.

If it was anybody else but you, I'd chuck you overboard.

But I'm so crazy about you, it's eating my insides out.

You're in with me.

I don't want to be, I--

I tell you, you're in with me.

There's a quarter of a million pounds of gold on this ship.

Your share will make you a rich woman.

We can go anywhere, do anything.

Look, I'm no good to you. What do you want with me?

Because you're a smart girl.

You're smart enough to hide that note,

you're smart enough to know what it means.

Yeah, and I'm smart enough to stay out of this!

Even as much as I love you,

you're in with me from now on, or else,

I'm going to break that pretty little neck of yours just like--

The marines have land.

I'm sorry to interrupt.

Uh, Dolly and I were just sealing a little partnership,

which I hope she'll never have cause to regret.

Perhaps you better do your sealing in the main salon

where there's a lot more witnesses.

Maybe you're right, captain.

Look out!

Hold her!

That was a near thing, Alan.

Dawson!

Get some lines, lash this down!

Come here with that line!

Hey! Come here!

Cold, darling?

Yeah, yeah, cold. That's it.

You with me?

Uh, that's a tough ocean to try and swim in.

That's a good girl.

Now, you keep miles away from that fella, Gaskell,

or I might think that you're trying to double-cross me.

Captain Gaskell!

The steamroller's loose, sir.

It'll mash those coolies like a lot of turnips.

Oh, the poor devils.

Let it go overboard!

Come on!

Close up that rail!

Davids, lend a hand!

Get the tarps off those winches!

All right, turn on the steam!

Go to your quarters!

You're under arrest!

Well? What do you want?

I want to thank you, sir, for saving my life, sir.

Oh, go to bed.

Is it all over, sir?

Yeah.

But we'll stand regular watch from now on.

Mr. Kingston?

What time do you come on watch?

Eight bells, sir.

You're one minute late.

I'm sorry, sir.

Keep her at half speed

and make your repairs on the port engine.

Aye-aye, sir.

Davids is here, sir.

Yes.

All right.

I know what I'd do with him if this was my ship.

Well, wait till you get a ship.

Mr. Davids.

Yes, sir.

Mr. Davids, for the rest of this voyage,

you'll be relieved of duty

and confined to your quarters in arrest.

When we reach port,

I'll have to turn you in to the board of trade

for neglect of duty and disobedience of orders.

I don't blame you, sir.

But it's funny, somehow.

During the year I've been on the beach,

I've prayed every day for a chance.

And then when I got it,

I couldn't make good.

I'm just a washout, that's all.

I'm sorry, Davids.

Call me when you relieve the watch.

Yes, sir.

This'll cost you your ticket.

It's me, toots!

I been waitin' for you to come off watch.

Get out of here!

Look, I got a good reason for bein' here.

You've always got a good reason.

In fact, I don't know anybody who could think up

more remarkable good reasons than you can on short notice.

Shh, listen. I took an awful chance coming here.

I might have got heaved overboard.

Well, don't run any more risk by staying.

Get off on the rest of your rounds.

Toots, you've got to listen to me.

I only came here for one thing.

I'm quite aware of that!

You're always waiting for a sailor, to comfort him

as only a woman like you can comfort a man who's too tired

or too drunk to care who it is.

Toots, don't be like that. If you keep that up,

you're gonna talk yourself right out of--

I hope so.

Oh, ya hope so, do ya?

Well, you been beggin' for it, and now you're gonna get it.

You won't be so high and mighty when I get through with ya.

You just wait! I'll fix ya!

You'll be lower than a coolie!

You'll be lower than Davids!

You'll come crawlin' to me on your knees!

I warned you not to double-cross me!

You said you could use the guns.

Well, darlin',

you're a marvel.

You're a real partner.

You know, I thought that you was going--

Oh, what does it matter what you thought

I was gonna do?

You got what you wanted.

Ah, don't take it so hard, Dolly.

Oh, take what too hard?

I got what I wanted too.

I guess.

Sparks.

Sparks!

Look out, sir. Malays.

Don't shoot!

Oh, yes, here they come. Here they come.

Oh, look, they're bringing them all in now.

They've scuttled ships, you know, before.

What are they doing?

Got a cigarette, Jamesy?

I thought you said nobody'd get hurt.

You can't expect the boys to stand there and take it

after someone cuts loose at them, can you?

I must have been crazy.

Stark staring crazy!

Take it easy! Take it easy!

Be careful.

What are you hiding those pearls for?

They're not worth anything.

I don't want to lose them.

You are perfectly right, my dear.

I've been through one of these things before.

They take everything in sight.

Something funny about those pearls.

I'm going to have them appraised when we get to Singapore.

Why, Wilbur, don't be insane!

Every one of those guns came out of our arsenal.

Our arsenal, sir? Yes.

I don't see how they could have broken down that steel door.

An-may in the ife-lay oat-bay.

Davids!

Yes, Dawson.

No savvy Malay. Do you?

Not enough. But MacArdle does, I'm sure.

Hey, look here.

Don't any of you fellows speak English?

No savvy.

Now, isn't that just too bad? Oh, that's terrible.

Yes.

Look here. Whoever you are in that lifeboat out there,

there are some Mills bombs in the seat locker in my quarters.

Yeah, if you're not too badly hurt,

watch your chance and try and get them.

I'll hold them here as long as I can.

No savvy.

Yea-- No savvy? Aw.

There's your chance, Mr. Dawson.

Get those bombs.

He's crazy. What's the use?

I'd only be shot at.

I-- Yes.

I understand, Mr. Dawson.

Get out of my way.

As far as I can make out,

he comes from a very royal family

and is very sorry to, uh...

disturb you like this.

Why, no disturbance at all.

He wishes to assure you that no one will be harmed.

If you will open the strongbox.

he will willingly take the gold and depart

with only the friendliest feelings toward you.

Hm.

Open the safe.

Yes, sir.

You haven't lost your ticket yet, old man.

If you want me to, I'll be only too glad

to put in a good word for you.

Where's Alan? You don't think they'll hurt him, do you?

No, no, of course not, my dear, no.

No, they need the captain healthy.

I'm sorry, poopsie.

Looks like that guy did the appraising.

Why, that's sand.

You're pretty smart, Gaskell.

Well, apparently the bank patronized some other line.

You can't fool these Malays

with an old trick like the boxes of sand.

Why, whoever's at the head of this gang's got brains.

They know when there's gold on board a ship.

Why, their spies tell them about every shipment of gold

that leaves any bank in Hong Kong.

Listen, MacArdle, make it clear to him.

If there was any gold aboard, he could have it.

Listen, man. I'm talking to you as though I'm your own brother.

Save yourself while there's still time.

Look here! That's my skipper! You can't--

Looks as if the party came too late.

Why, it's the boot. The Malay boot!

Why, that's cruel torture!

Size is 9C.

Why, you're not going to let him torture you?

Have you any suggestions?

Is that the latest style?

Don't let them do that, man!

Why, you'll never be able to use your foot again!

Listen, Jamesy, you're a fast talker.

Tell him something. Tell him anything!

Tell him the bank fooled me as much as it did him!

I've talked my head off! He won't listen!

Tell him where it is. I can't bear it.

It's killing me to stand here and not be able to help you.

I can't bear it.

Well, put your fingers in your ears.

Stubborn half-wit!

Gaskell. My boy, Gaskell.

Don't start counting, I'm getting up.

Please tell them where it is, Gaskell.

Why, it's breaking my heart to see you suffer like this.

There can't be any gold.

He would have talked.

Nobody could be that tough.

Come on.

Die, you...

Oh, you poor boy, you.

I made them understand there's no gold here.

It was Jamesy that saved your poor feet for you.

Are they gone?

Yes, it's all right. They're getting into the junk.

Here, take it easy! There's nothing you can do.

Here, Gaskell.

Davids!

Davids!

Davids! Shut your mouth!

I got the bombs.

Good, good. Let me have this one.

Keep clear while I blow my way out.

And...thanks, Davids.

Can you make it over and heave it in that junk?

I'll try.

Davids, remember, After you pull the pin,

you only got five seconds until it goes off.

You'll get us all killed!

Get back!

One...

two...

three...

four.

Hey, a little less noise, please.

Captain Gaskell?

What did you find?

Not even a scratch on the door, sir.

The arsenal must have been opened with a key.

Tell the chief steward

to bring MacArdle and Miss Porter to my cabin.

Yes, sir.

Listen, darling, where did you put

that half of the hundred pound note?

I know it's safe, but I got to--

I hid it. Where?

In Gaskell's cabin, in a tin of cigarettes.

Well, aren't you a wonder.

It's safe.

He won't find it.

He doesn't smoke my kind. Ah.

Oh, quit worrying, I'll get it.

No, you won't!

You'll stay right where you are

till this thing blows over!

Now, promise me, darling, that you won't go near the place.

That's easy. I wouldn't exactly enjoy looking--

Looking at his bandaged feet.

Well, that's too bad.

But what about us?

What about the poor devils he captured?

You know, I wouldn't put it past him

to use the Chinese boot on them.

If he does, they'll talk.

Oh, he won't use the boot.

He'd never hit a man below the belt.

Well, we're not hung yet.

Gaskell may suspect the whole world,

but he's got to prove it.

Well, let him prove it! Let him prove--

Are you out of your mind?

Shh.

All right, come in.

Captain Gaskell's compliments and will you come to his cabin?

And you too, Miss Portland.

Just a minute.

Jamesy, that-- Now, now, now, wait a minute.

It's simply a matter of routine.

If it comes to the worst,

I'm the only one that he can prove anything against.

So you just sit tight and keep a stiff upper lip.

All right, bozo.

Order me an upper and lower,

and I'll keep them both stiff.

All right, come on, answer!

After you left my cabin, where did you go?

Back to my quarters. What time was that?

About half past 11. Was anybody there?

Nobody but Isabel. I told her to go to bed.

Your maid says she was asleep

at a quarter after 9, two hours before--

Ah, it's always a quarter after 9 to that numbskull!

It's the only time she knows.

Did anybody come to your cabin later?

My dates are my own now.

The deck watch saw a man leaving your cabin after 1:00.

That was you, wasn't it?

Look here, Alan, that's not--

I'm conducting this inquiry, Sir Guy. That was you, wasn't it?

What do you want me to do? Blacken the lady's name?

That was Jamesy, wasn't it?

Well, supposing it was? Why was he in your cabin?

He came to borrow a hot water bottle for one of his pigs.

Got a cigarette, Jamesy? No, darling.

Here, you better have one of your own.

No, never mind, I don't--

No, no bother at all.

I know what these little attentions mean to a woman.

Well, I-- I don't want one now. I guess it's just nerves. I--

Oh. Oh, well, I'm sorry you don't feel well.

You rode out the piracy in such good shape.

Perhaps you'd like one.

Well, well, thank you.

The captain is far more generous

with your cigarettes than you ever were.

Too generous. I guess I'll take them home with me

while there's still a couple left for myself.

How many tins have you, Jamesy?

One.

Four and one are five, are--

Lose any?

I thought I left six here.

Oh, yes, yes, so you did. I almost forgot.

I don't understand this cat-and-mouse business.

Is this the one?

Yes, that's it.

You won't find what you're looking for.

I have both halves of the hundred-pound note.

Oh, what are you browbeating the girl for?

Just a minute, MacArdle! Your turn's next.

One half of the note was found on a dead pirate.

The other half was hidden...

...in her cigarette tin.

Hello.

These Chinese characters look familiar.

Yes. They're MacArdle's shipping symbol.

Well, that's queer.

If I wasn't sure of it,

why, I'd swear that I wrote those characters.

I'll swear you wrote them before any admiralty court!

Yes? Well, what will your oath prove?

Save your breath, MacArdle!

We caught two of your men! They've talked!

You used the Chinese boot on them.

No, I saved that for you, if I needed it.

How did you manage to get the ship's rifles?

You couldn't have done a thing without them.

You've answered all the questions so far.

Don't stop now.

All right, I won't!

You gave him the key to the arsenal!

- Me? - She gave me nothing.

Only you and I knew where it was.

You came to my cabin. Sure, lots of times.

Waited till I passed out, took the key,

and gave it to MacArdle! That's a dirty rotten lie!

I'll sue the line for plenty!

Defaming a lady's character-- Yes. Quartermaster!

Yes, sir?

Tell the sergeant at guard to come here.

Send a message to the police superintendent in Singapore.

Tell him to meet us at the dock.

Yes, sir.

You better send for a squad of lawyers

if you think you'll pin it on me!

What a snake you are! What's it to you?

Getting into my cabin because I trusted you!

Trust?

Waiting to double-cross! I didn't!

Turning on your own people! Sold out everyone onboard!

All right then, I did!

I stole the key.

Yes, I stole it and gave it to Jamesy.

But I came to your cabin to warn you about him.

Figure it out for yourself why I didn't.

I'd have stood and fought back-to-back with you.

But you taught me something I didn't even know myself.

When a woman can love a man right down to her fingertips,

she can hate him the same way.

Now call your cops.

Call every cop in the country! I don't care!

If you can dish it out, I can take it!

You fool.

You hotheaded, crazy little fool.

And me thinking all the time

that my powers of fascination had won her.

Aw, don't be so tough, Gaskell.

China Doll there had nothing to do with it at all.

You think it's as simple as all that?

I'm not the judge, the jury and the law.

You'll find that out soon enough.

No, I won't. I've fooled them many a time before,

and I've done it again.

I've cost you millions, and I'd still be fooling them

if it wasn't for the little yellow-haired lass there

that wouldn't even give me the time of the day.

What's wrong, MacArdle?

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

One of those pills will make a pig sleep the entire voyage.

I'll sleep until kingdom come.

Get a doctor quick!

Jamesy!

I had a chance, darling, to throw you overboard.

If I had, I'd still be safe.

Loving you is the only decent thing

I ever did in my life.

Even that was a mistake.

You sent for me, sir?

Take Miss Porter to her cabin.

Keep a close watch over her until further orders.

Aye, sir.

Well, he's out of it, anyway.

He finished the game the way he played it.

Yeah, tough.

He didn't yell "no dice" when they rolled against him.

I won't either.

Good luck, toots.

Singapore!

So am I! Where are you from?

Lordy, Lordy!

Now I got enough clothes to last me a million years!

Well, I hope you have better luck in them than I did.

Don't you worry, Miss Dolly,

I got me a conjure. Huh?

The left hind leg of a black cat

that's been killed by a snakebite.

Nothing gonna touch me,

no matter what they does to you.

Yes?

Well, darling, have you put your house in order?

No, it's in a worse mess than ever.

Sybil, I should have told you before.

I'll be tied up here for weeks at the hearing.

Now, Alan, dear, what are you trying to tell me? Be frank.

That's just it. I want you to escape all the frankness

that's going to be thrown around the next few weeks.

Everybody will know about it, read about it.

Even at home, for that matter, the people you know.

But you can live down a scandal if you want to.

Yes, but this will have an official stamp on it.

I'll have to get up in court, tell the whole story.

I want to, Sybil, because I'm involved.

In fact, I'm as guilty as she.

Guilty? Oh, what nonsense. How could you be, Alan?

I am, though.

She tried to warn me about MacArdle, I wouldn't listen.

I nearly threw her out.

With as dirty an insult as a man could give a woman.

That's not like you.

I don't know why,

except...I had just seen her in MacArdle's cabin.

I didn't think she could skid that far.

Oh.

And you're really in love with--

uh, this old tub after all.

No. No, but it's that too.

After all, you can't pile up

six years of something and then just leave it, you know?

No.

No, of course not.

Well, I'm off to the hotel.

I'll take the next boat home.

You know, I came 15,000 miles to find you, Alan.

Now you're further away than you ever were.

You wouldn't like that fireplace in Sussex.

I think that's what I've been trying to tell you.

Sybil, aren't you clinging to something

that I could never be again?

Yes, perhaps I am.

But I think that's the only beautiful way it ever could be.

Goodbye, Alan.

Goodbye, Sybil.

Come on, you large, limping seagull.

Come to the office and resign.

Don't worry about that. I'll resign soon enough.

All I've got to do is scratch my name on a piece of paper.

Around this madhouse, there's always a million things to do

before you can do what you want!

I'll make it easy, honest I will, poopsie.

Hey, you're just the guy!

Where can I pick up a string of genuine pearls for the missus?

Oh, yes, yes, I'll be very glad to arrange it for you.

That's a pal! I told you I'd square with you, poopsie.

You squared it beautifully.

Bank sent for the gold, sir.

All right, turn it over to them.

But there isn't any gold, sir.

The boxes were full of sand.

Oh, yes, yes, so they were.

The shipment's in the toolbox of the steamroller.

Steamroller? Toolbox?

That stumps me, sir.

I never would have thought of looking for it there.

No. I was counting on that.

Oh, so you decided to make the trip after all?

Yes. Yes, I just came along looking for local color.

Local color, phooey.

If anybody could get local color, I can get it.

These streets are in deplorable condition!

Quartermaster! Fish him out before he soaks up

all the local color in the harbor. Aye-aye, sir.

Come in.

Is the police superintendent ready?

He'll be here any minute now. Come on.

Goodbye, Isabel.

Goodbye, Miss Dolly. You sure been mighty good to me,

Oh, skip it. even if they does hang you.

Well, there's the old Quien-Howe.

Aren't they ever going to paint that smokestack? Ha!

Boy, how you used to crab about it

when you were first mate on her.

Seems like a thousand years ago.

Well, you don't need to talk if you don't want to!

I was only doing it

for the benefit of those mugs back there.

That's what I thought.

I've never seen the time yet

when you could overlook an audience.

That's more like it. It's kind of good

to have you barking at me again.

Always worrying about your performance.

You don't care about anything except, how is the act going?

What are you crying for?

I can't help it.

Oh, get in there and quit that blubbering.

Now, listen to me, numbskull. I'm all ears.

My job ends when I turn you over to the superintendent.

From then on, I'll be on your side.

Oh, what's the use? I'll plead guilty and take what's coming.

You're going to tell the whole truth!

Sure I am. That's the least I can do.

And I'm going to tell the truth, everything.

That you tried to warn me, that-- Well, that I was drunk.

Oh, no, you weren't. Yes, I was. Dead drunk.

Oh, you big cluck! You'll gum up the works! You'll ruin yourself!

You'll bust up your whole career if you do that!

There's nothing else to do, Dolly. It's your only chance.

Oh, never mind me. What about her?

She's going back to England.

Back to England? But you still love her.

She's leaving on the next boat.

Oh, you can't let her do that, toots, you still love her.

Don't start telling me what to do.

I said, you're still in love with her!

And don't yell like that! I'm not deaf!

Oh, you poor sap! You love her!

And don't call me a sap! You love her!

Yes, I love her!

But not the way I do you.

Oh, toots, you can't.

That ain't fair. It ain't right!

A no-good dame like me, why, I'll always have you in trouble!

No, you won't!

Married life will slow you down plenty.

You--?

You'd m-marry me?

Well, no, not if you're going to make it such a blasted favor!

Oh, you-- You poor sap.

Come in!

Good morning, captain.

Good morning, superintendent.

Here's your receipt for the prisoners.

Yes, all right.

I'll be over as soon as I get through.

Anything you want-- Anything I--

Toots, I got everything.

Come on, superintendent! Let's get on the horse!

What about a nip to cool that aching brow?

No, no. Fix one for yourself. I got to get around to court.

Somebody will have to protect that judge.

Those shoes are disgraceful on an officer, Mr. Kingston!

A hose coupling just broke, sir.

Hose couplings shouldn't break.

Change the hose and change your shoes, Mr. Kingston.

Yes, sir.

"Change your shoes, Mr. Kingston."

A piracy, a typhoon, a disabled ship swung into port,

his sweetheart on her way to jail,

and all he can say by way of conversation is

"Change your shoes, Mr. Kingston."

That bark of his is all front.

He's really pretty sick at heart.

Sick? The man hasn't got a heart.

Perhaps not, Mr. Kingston, but whatever it is he has,

it gets things done.