Original subtitles

Stand by for the mail.

We know you're not a pirate.

We know, you'll get your knife back when we dock in Singapore.

Say, you just get on a phone and call Scranton, PA...

- and ask anybody about J. Wilberforce... - Have you any arms sir?

Just these you see growing out of me armpits.

You'll do.

No excuses Mr. Atkins, your job is to look after this dock.

If I ever find it in this state again, I'll, I'll...

How's your wife?

She's, she's very much better sir and thank you very much for the flowers.

Oh, don't thank me, my gardener has to get rid of them somehow.

Who's the big shot?

Sir Guy Wilmerding, managing director of the line.

Right this way Sir Guy.

Gangway please. Glad to have you with us again sir.

Oh, none of that mush. I know how glad you are.

Not bad, not bad at all for a synthetic stone.

- You ought to know Paul. - My lovely Olga.

Hey, I bet that lug stops in China.

That's the insignia of Wing YuLan, everything in the archipelago pays dividends to him.

Good morning purser.

Good morning Miss YuLan.

We've made arrangements to take your chairs aboard in the after gangway.

Thank you.

Mr. Dawson sir, here comes the captain.

Look at him, with a 3 days hangover and watch him grouse.

Of all the ungrateful, brass hearted skippers of a rusty old teakettle...

who thinks he's still strutting in the Royal Navy.

Our captain.

Oh Alan? Alan Gaskell? I got some last minute cargo for you.

Oh hello Ken, what you doing up in broad daylight?

Oh Captain Gaskell. I want you to meet Charlie McCaleb, the American novelist.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

Well, Hong Kong seems to have taken you to her bottom again.

Now wait a minute, I've seen your face before.

No, don't tell me, it's right on the tip of my tongue.

- Remember Johnson? - Johnson?

- Who? - Johnson.

Oh Johnny old boy, what you doing way out here?

- Oh, maybe you can tell me. - No, no, this is Captain Gaskell.

- The master of the ship you're sailing on. - Hiya captain, coming along with us?

Yes, yes, I'm afraid so.

He's supposed to be over here gathering material for a new novel, I've dragged him...

through wars, riots and revolutions. He doesn't even know he's in China.

If you should stir up anything exciting, why...

shove him in a front seat and tie his eyes open.

Now, wait a minute, wait a minute, I'm not running a day nursery...

and I'm not stirring up any excitement just for the sake of literature, see you later.

Don't you worry old fella, I'll be right there, I'm the old Ringside Kid.

Got an eye like an eagle.

Goodbye Captain Greshall, had a marvelous trip.

Ship ahoy, ship ahoy.

Ship ahoy.

- Are you all right Charley? - I cover the waterfront.

- Steward. - Yes sir? Good morning sir.

That's your idea of clean brass?

- Sorry sir... - You haven't answered my question.

No sir, it isn't my idea clean brass sir.

You've been sampling my whiskey again, haven't you?

Oh, yes sir.

- Not as good as the last lot, is it? - No sir.

Then why haven't you done something about it?

- I will sir. - Thank you.

Thank you sir sir Guy wants to see you sir.

- Good morning captain. - Good morning.

Ah, so there you are.

Good morning Mrs. Aiken.

We were just talking about you captain.

Mrs. Aiken tells me you've been sensationally blotto ever since you went ashore.

- Sir Guy? - Oh, she does, eh?

You don't like my behavior ashore or aboard ship, you can get a new boy.

In fact, I wish you would.

- You wouldn't go if you could. - Wouldn't I?

I'm so close to being back to England now I can hear Big Ben chiming.

I've heard that from men for 50 years.

It's only the weak ones that sneak out of the China Seas.

It's the bullheads like you that stay on.

What about a little spot to keep your brain from addling?

No, I haven't the time.

I've got to get the pride of your fleet underway.

Mr. Rockwell, go to the captain's saloon, check those chronometers.

- Good morning sir. - Good morning.

Third officer hasn't come aboard yet sir.

Yes, I know, I've just been looking him over, he's in the Sepoy Hospital.

Tried to clean out High Spade McQueen's last night.

- Bad sir? - Yes, knife in the kidneys.

Port captain is trying to find someone to replace him.

- What you got in your mouth? - Chewing tobacco sir.

It's bad enough to have a ship like this and a captain that looks like...

me without having a chief officer who looks like you.

I'm sorry sir.

Had it in me jaw when I came on duty and I forgot all about it.

Oh Mr.Willet of the Royal Canada Bank is awaiting to see you sir.

- He's just down there at your quarters. - Thank you.

- Hello Willet. - Good morning captain.

- Gold come aboard yet? - Yes sir.

- All stowed away as we agreed? - In the steamroller.

- Good. - Thank you sir.

Wipe that smile off your face.

Is that your idea of clean brass? You haven't answered my question.

Did I ask you?

A little too big for you, isn't it Mr. Rockwell?

I apologize sir.

Chief officer sent me down to check the chronometers.

Yeah.

- But I don't keep them in my cap. - No sir.

- What you going to do with that button? - To button it sir.

I was just hoping you weren't too angry with me sir.

- Oh, carry on. - Thank you sir.

Excuse me sir.

- Who's in there? - It's China Doll, a gal that drives men mad.

What the devil are you doing aboard?

Nothing lambie, just showering the dewdrops off the body beautiful.

How many hours do we have to spend saying goodbye before it takes?

That's just the trouble toots, it took too good.

Gee, were sweet to me.

Say, I thought maybe you could use all that money you won at the Tai Fan last night.

Oh, then we were there?

Yeah, we had a million laughs. I made 17 straight passes myself.

- Get on your horse, we're shoving off. -

But why you so anxious to get me out of here? Is that hunk of caviar making the round trip?

What hunk of caviar?

That red headed Russian princess whose aboard from Singapore.

She isn't a Russian and she isn't a princess...

and I have my doubts about her hair being red.

I don't care what she is, if she was a Chinese sextet, it'd be the same thing to me.

What I'm trying to get through your numb skull is that I'm not going to stand by...

Now, wait a minute Dolly.

You and I are friends. We had a lot of fun together.

And as far as I'm concerned, you're a number one girl in the archipelago.

But I don't remember making any vows to you nor do I recall asking for any.

Don't you get polite at me, when you start talking with your high hat on I...

I know you mean it and and scares me.

Say, who do you think you are anyway?

- If I had a nickel's worth of pride... - Alright.

That's the way you feel about, I'm not standing in your way.

That's just the soup I'm in, I don't feel that way at all.

You, you dog.

Oh, that's more like it.

Come in.

- Pilot tug's alongside sir. - Alright.

Stand by to single up your lines fore and aft.

Aye, aye sir.

Alright, come on now nuisance, over shore.

Oh but I'm looking, what I'm going to do with my ticket? It's all paid for and everything.

And I knew you'd something up your sleeve. Alright, come on, we'll get your money back.

No but I got a job in Singapore.

- Honest... - Oh yes, yes, I know.

I suppose they've elected you mayor.

No but it's on the level, Hoffmann sent me a contract for the rest of the season.

No.

Look, I know how you feel about it. I won't come near you. Nobody will...

No.

Alright toots, you, you win, I...

I hope you have a good trip, goodbye.

Alright, alright, if you've got your ticket and a job, I don't suppose I...

- Lambie. - Stop wrestling me around.

You turning this skiff into an excursion launch.

Come on, snap into it before the fore hold loading.

You just came down to say goodbye?

You brought enough of your cigarettes to last on a voyage to New York.

Oh I'll smoke a lot more cigarettes than that toots, before we ever really say goodbye.

Listen, I told you to...

- Good morning sir. - Davids, isn't it? Tom Davids?

Yes sir.

Your port captain told me to report for duty as 3rd officer.

- Duty as what? - Third officer.

These rocking chair sailors ashore.

Here I am in the middle of the typhoon season, a tough voyage ahead.

I ask for a fighter, and they send me a punching bag.

Give me a chance, is the first one I had for over a year.

I know these waters better than most, I've sailed them as a master for over 10 years.

No one had a better record on this coast than I had.

Then, just because of an accident, I'm not a coward.

Stow it Davids, you let pirates scuttle your ship...

and you lost every white man aboard except yourself.

The board of trade lifted your ticket, I didn't.

Give me a chance please.

You got a uniform?

Nothing clean sir.

Alright, I'll have the steward give you one of mine.

- Yes sir. - Report to Mr. Dawson.

I'll have the uniform laundered and return it to you.

No, that's all right. Keep it, you probably need it.

Thank you sir.

Well, if it ain't old rough on rat himself, how are you, Jamesy?

Dolly, you're looking just as pretty as ever, what you've been doing?

- Bidding the big boy goodbye, eh? - Goodbye nothing, I'm making this voyage.

- No, you're not. - Yeah.

Why, I'm just as happy as if I'd won the Calcutta sweepstakes.

You ought to have the shekels piled up to the roof by now.

I haven't done so bad, you know...

Dolly, I'm still willing to share it all with you.

Say, there ain't enough dough in all Asia to make me change the way I feel about one guy.

Still crazy about that Gaskell, eh?

Well, whenever you get tired of running around with an Airedale...

and you want to run around with a Saint Bernard, why, you let me know.

Sure, whenever I get lost in the Alps, I'll whistle for you.

- Alright, I'll come running, goodbye Dolly. - See you later.

- You'd be easy with them there pigs. - Well Kingston, you're a wonder.

How you've been able to sail with that...

sour bellied Gaskell as long as you have, I don't know.

- Hello Jamesy. - Well Captain Gaskell, I was just telling...

Kingston how happy I was to be sailing with you.

- Hey, stow that on the port side. - Yes, yes.

You still carrying that cargo of soft soap, eh?

No, no, really, I mean it. You don't know what a safe feeling it is to be...

sailing with a captain that's never been raided by the pirates.

Yes, there's not much profit for pirates in this zoo of yours.

Say, who you swindling with this scrubby lot, eh?

That's the finest lot of animals I've ever shipped.

Well, they're not as noisy as that last batch of sopranos you had.

Say now, Jamesy, just between you and me.

- What do you give them to keep them quiet? - I just give them one of these little pills.

And they sleep and dream all the way across, never lose a pound.

I don't suppose you ever thought of giving them a little...

gravel just to add a pound though.

Why captain, that would be dishonest.

They got big feet for singsong girls, haven't they?

Well they, they don't bandage the feet nowadays, these are enlightened days.

Those feet are big even for enlightened days.

- Captain Gaskell sir. - Sir Rockwell.

What is a woman do when you throw something at her?

- A woman? - She dodges it, a man catches it.

Here, catch. Sergeant of guard.

Take them to shore, charge them with attempted piracy.

And ask the police commissioner to wireless me anything he can sweat out them.

Hido, Hido.

You go ashore and tell Moray to bail them out before they start to talk.

Tell Ngah I'll go through with the job as agreed but he'll need more men, go on.

Hey captain, that's good work. You're the finest skipper on this coast.

Thanks.

- See you on the next trip. - Goodbye and thank you for all your trouble.

- Take care of yourself dear. - I will.

- So long Sybil and good luck. - Thank you so much.

- B-39. - Thank you.

- Don't forget to write Sybil. - I won't.

- Sybil? - Alan?

It is Alan. Oh, so this is your ship. My, I am lucky.

Yes, yes, I'm captain of this tub. Are you visiting out here?

Just traveling. You might start to unpack Pether.

I've been just traveling for some time.

I, I heard about Bart, I meant to write, but it was so long after he died.

News is slow out here.

We spoke of you so often, wondering what you were doing.

Oh, getting into trouble mostly, then trying to get out of it.

Well, you're in for more trouble now, looking after me for a whole voyage.

I'm in your hands again Alan.

Look here Alan, can't you get this boat? What's wrong?

- Look as if you'd seen a ghost. - I have.

- Gangplank secure sir. - All clear forward sir.

- Cast off your bow line. - Aye, aye sir.

Good morning captain.

- Hiya neighbor, the name is Timmons. - Ah, I can take it or leave it alone.

No, no, the name, Timmons. T - I - M - M - O - N - S.

I'm the guy that can do it too.

Who is it?

- Who is it? - It's just me toots.

Listen, when I told you to stay out of here, I wasn't shadowboxing, I meant it.

- Oh, I just came in to borrow a book. - I don't keep them in my bathtub.

I decided to improve my mind.

You better take two books, give yourself an even break.

Now, how about you doing about 3 turns around the deck...

before dinner just to work up an appetite, eh?

Ok, Ok toots. I know you ain't got much time to fool around with passengers.

- It's your own fault, you wanted to be one. - Except maybe that English dame.

- You're becoming very observant. - I saw her when she came aboard.

She looked like she was smelling a dead fish or something.

Considering her surroundings that's highly possible.

And I also got a load of you when you moved her into the royal suite.

Why didn't you lay out a red plush carpet for her?

Well, that's just a throwback to my old manners.

The lady happened to know me when I acted that way for the sheer joy of it.

Oh, I get it, a hometown honey.

I knew her years ago and her husband.

Married? Oh, being married don't seem to tie her down none.

He's dead.

So, so she's back in circulation again.

Well, maybe it's a good thing you didn't get hooked up with nobody out here.

Thanks but if I'd had a more definite tie, I might've behaved a bit more decently.

Say, if you ain't decent boyfriend, you'll do until something decent comes along.

Out here maybe.

But anywhere else in the world we'd both be a little bit soiled.

Did you ever see an English river Dolly?

No, I'm dumb at geography, just like I am at everything else.

Well, it's cool, clear and clean.

Put a stream like that alongside any river out here, dirty, yellow, muddy...

you'll see the difference.

That was only a few years ago.

The pirates killed every white person aboard except the Capt and then scuttled the ship.

Better take care of these pearls in the case of piracy.

Why? They're artificial, they're not worth anything.

12 and a half bucks, quite a bargain I'd say.

Where did you get them Mr. Timmons?

- Well, she picked them up... - I bought them myself in Tokyo.

Well you know, it's not always easy to tell the real from...

- I'm sure you didn't pay too much for them. - Bet your sweet life she didn't.

That little woman gets her money's worth every time, eh Poopsie?

Hey, you see that chess game over there?

When I was 4 years old, I played 10 people all at once, blindfolded.

I lost every game.

Pirates? Baloney. Where did you really get those pearls, eh?

- You won't tell Wilbur, will you? - Twelve and a half bucks to Wilbur.

That pirate hooey of yours is stuff they always tell tourists.

I'll bet they don't rate one through nine with our rum-runners.

Bosh, your rum-runners learned the game from our pirates.

Even the hijacking and that trick of identifying each other...

by matching the halves of a torn a hundred dollar bill.

- Here they use a hundred pound note. - Sunday paper bunk.

- Hey mate, come here. - Yes sir?

- How are you Mr. Davids? - How are you Sir Guy?

Tell him that bunk about the ship they held up and scuttled.

Get a load of this, it's terrific.

- I don't remember saying anything Timmons. - You can't get out of it like that.

Tell him about the one white officer who came out of it alive.

What's the matter with that bird? Was I speaking out of turn?

I'm afraid you were, that's Tom Davids. Captain of the ship I was telling you about.

Say, don't look now, well I think my stomach is full of butterflies.

Isabelle.

- Isabel MacCarthy. - Yes ma?

Would you say that I looked like a lady?

No Miss Dolly, I've been with you all too long to insult you that-away.

Say, what's the difference?

What's that snooty English dame got that I ain't?

She's more refined like.

She would never wear that dress with all them shiny beads you got.

That dress is more my type.

You've been hinting for that dress for a month.

Go on and take it, you spoiled it for me anyway.

You sure got the right feeling though honey.

I got to let this out a smidgen.

You sure is got the right instincts no matter what they all say.

What do they say?

Oh, it's just a mite of talk, they say yous got yourself so hooked on to that...

Captain Gaskell that he's shaking himself like a wet hound dog...

and can't get you loose no how.

Yes Miss, they do, like a wet hound dog.

He can't shake me off, I hopped off, see? And I'm glad I did, do you hear that?

I'm glad, I'm happy.

Sure you's happy honey. But don't you worry, you'll get over it.

Twenty years on the China Seas and she never lost a spangle.

I had a spangle once, it was a cockier spangle.

She had a litter of field mice.

Good evening Miss Portland, I've got you the other side of Mr. MacArdle.

- Oh well, I get it, where is the big guy? - You mean the captain miss?

He went, that is I believe he's escorting Mrs. Barclay.

Oh, why doesn't she put a ring in his nose so she can lead him around easier?

Excuse me sir.

Say, Ah Feng, bring me a double hooker of scotch quick.

Yes miss.

Well Jamesy, you old trambo, long time no see kid.

No fault of mine Dolly, you're the original one man girl..

As long as I've got a one gal guy.

I just saw Captain Gaskell upstairs walking with Mrs. Barclay.

Very lovely looking girl, isn't she?

She couldn't take me away from a girl like you in a thousand years.

Hey, what makes you think she's taking anything away from me, eh?

Get on the belt line and keep them coming.

I think you know everybody Sybil, except perhaps Miss YuLan, Mrs. Barclay.

How do you do?

- And Miss Portland. - How do you do?

Hello.

You needn't be so confoundedly possessive Alan I knew Mrs. Barclay long before you did.

Say, you had such a start. I'm only trying to catch up.

Ah, you had your chance Sir Guy but you spurned me.

At least Alan didn't meet me till after I was married.

That ruins all my guesses.

I had such a romantic meeting arranged for you two.

The squadron ball at Gibraltar, music, lanterns, uniforms...

Her husband was at sea so I claimed every dance.

- We walked back to the hotel together. - With or without moonlight?

Oh, there was a harvest moon.

You've never seen a moon until you've watched the one over China Seas.

It'll be full by the time we get to Singapore.

Oh glorious.

Say, speaking of meetings Jamesy, do you remember that night in that putang joint...

in Saigon when you and me met up with a certain party?

Oh, do I.

There wasn't any moon but he had a shiner on his left eye that lit up the whole street.

A cut on his right leg, why he'd bled to death if it hadn't been for China Doll here.

- My, that was a romantic meeting. - She saved his life.

And never got a word of thank for it, I'll be darned.

I wish I could tell you what she said when I tried it.

You never used to be so particular about your language.

That's right Dolly.

This will be an awful comedown after the Royal Mail.

Oh, I don't know, there's something very real and dramatic about this atmosphere.

You know, pirates and machine guns, barricades...

Mr. McCaleb, I want you to meet a literary rival of yours Mrs. Barclay.

Oh, good evening Mr. McCaleb.

Thanks, I've got all the insurance I can handle.

And Mrs. Barclay, I'm sure I saw you in London two years ago.

Why, of course Miss Yu-LAN, it was at the American Embassy...

and then again at the Gainsboroughs' in Sussex.

Peg, isn't she the most amazing hostess? It was only two years before that I...

Too amazing for words, there I was, with a cinder in me eye as large as a paving block.

With the grand duke on one side of me and the marquis on the other...

both trying to get pull my top lid over my bottom.

Miss Portland is a professional entertainer.

No, I am lady or you'd like me to try something else.

No, I'm afraid you haven't anything left for an encore.

So you think it's funny, eh? What are you grinning at?

- You must be very fond of him. - What makes you think so?

To humiliate yourself like this.

I'll see you later Alan.

Don't worry, he knows where the royal suite is and...

so do I, I had it the first time I sailed on this ship.

The more violent the storm, the sooner it subsides.

When I want you to sound off, golden bells, I'll pull your rope.

I, I apologize for this exhibition, it's all my fault.

And as the man said when they were about to hang him, this will be a lesson to me.

Madam chairman and ladies of this literary group...

it is with sentiments of profound respect that I address you this afternoon.

Because woman is the mother of all literature, I thank you.

Hey look, I'm awful sorry I blew up. Honest, I am.

But hookers of scotch and the fact that I'm so fighting nuts about you, I can...

You saved me a lot of trouble, you painted the whole dirty picture...

for her with a nice, truthful brush, thanks.

Gee toots, don't talk to me like that. I get scared when you put the freeze on me.

Look, I'll go to her...

- apologize, do anything in the world you... - You keep as far away from her as you can.

And farther away from me.

Come.

- Captain Gaskell sir. - Well, what's wrong Mr. Rockwell?

Your navigation chart...

Excuse me sir, this navigation problem sir, I'm having trouble with it.

- Trouble? - Yes sir.

Yes, I should say you are.

If your figures are correct Mr. Rockwell this ship is in the middle of the Sahara Desert.

Yes sir, it has me worried sir.

Yes.

Well, suppose you try adding here instead of subtracting.

Perhaps that'll put us back in the ocean again.

Yes sir, thank you sir.

- Alright. - Excuse me sir.

How's it toots?

Well, go on and play dumb if you want to, I just came in to...

tell you I'm not going to come around and pester you anymore.

Look.

I'm taking all my cigarettes.

You know, it's moonlight outside. Gee, it's pretty.

Ain't it funny, we always fight when it's moonlight and make up when it's raining?

It's about time for the rainy season, ain't it toots?

Ah, come on out of the trenches, I'm not going to throw any bombs, I'm harmless.

Yes, of course, you're as harmless as a revolution.

Well, don't forget your cigarettes.

I won't, I know an exit line when I hear one.

Well, anyway, it won't be so lonely while Jamesy is aboard.

I hate to hear you talk like that Dolly.

Well, a gal is got to do the best she can with what's around.

You owe yourself more than that.

The trouble is boyfriend, there ain't any male Mrs. Barclay, so charming, so refined.

The real trouble is there aren't enough female Mrs. Barclay.

Don't give it another thought Alan.

You know, I once hoped you'd know me very well but not that well.

But when you once hoped, you, you weren't in this part of the world.

No, that's true but here I am.

- Yes? - Captain Gaskell.

Mr. MacArdle wants to go forward to look after his animals.

No MacArdle can't look at his animals.

I wouldn't let an admiral go forward without a guard.

You find it an exciting part of the world, don't you?

Exciting? Nursing and cursing a bunch of leftovers who are supposed to be officers...

derelicts for a crew?

But ashore, the glamor of...

Yes, you saw me this morning after a trip ashore, did I look particularly glamorous?

Well, I wasn't thinking of backgrounds.

- That girl, she's glamorous, surely. - Sybil, I don't deny her.

But you know why I came out here, why I resigned from the service.

- It's all I could do. - Yes, we...

I might've cracked up Bart's life if you'd stayed.

Sybil.

If I thought there was the slightest chance, I...

I'd stumble out with everything I wanted to say six years ago, I...

Alan, I have a confession to make.

I'm not just traveling, I followed a memory, traced you here.

And now that I've found you, I don't care how you've lived.

I'll always be in love with you.

I'll jump ship at Singapore. We'll dig up a magistrate or a chaplain.

A Buddhist monk, if there's none other. We'll go back together.

Oh, England.

I've a place in Sussex with a fireplace you can stand in.

Your cocoa sir.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Come in old man, come right in.

What's the matter? What happened to you?

The chef is been at the vanilla extract again sir.

Wait for me with a cleaver. A cleaver is a new matter sir.

Ah yes. Well, give him a quart of brandy to taper off on, he be alright in the morning.

Sybil, I want you to meet the best chief steward in the line, Ted Gary.

Honest as the day is long.

And he said to Mrs. Barclay, right in front of me, I was the best steward in the line.

Honest as the day is long.

And never a word about that last bottle of whiskey I pinched.

No doubt, the old man is going soft.

Relieved me right in the middle of me watch so I could come to breakfast.

Called me Bertie.

I had a chew of tobacco in my mouth as big as that and he never even noticed.

And he said he'd take me to the races ashore.

Well...

That's the way it is with those two bottle men, I've never seen it fail.

- All of a sudden... - I knew a man once in Liverpool that way.

Davids.

- Aren't you going to wait for your coffee? - No.

- It's too stuffy here. - And smelly too.

May I please have the sugar sir?

Thank you.

Mark.

- Good. - Lovely shot.

That's a lovely gun.

I hope that they don't leave them laying around loose.

Captain lock them up all the time we no use.

- That's good. - Mark.

- Hiya. - Ah, good morning.

- Good morning. - Oh, good morning.

I guess she's still burned.

Mark.

I got it then.

I'm afraid you're much too consistent for me Mrs. Barclay.

Oh, not at all.

Mark.

I received your note, really wasn't necessary.

Oh, I'm sorry I acted so crazy.

Say Jamesy, how about you and me starting a little competition for the common people, eh?

- Alright, I, I'll bet you a shilling. - Ok.

Bring us a gun.

There you are.

Are you and Captain Gaskell going to make your home in Singapore or Hong Kong?

Oh, I don't think we're going to stay out here at all.

Did you hear what she said?

It's all over the ship that they're going to get married...

the minute they get into Singapore.

- That's why Gaskell is turned sunny side up. - Mark.

I think you're very wise not to stay in the Orient.

We have a saying out here...

After the cheap, strong wine, the most delicate tea has little flavor.

- Oh, be careful. - Oh, I'm sorry, I...

Quite all right, you had no idea the gun was loaded.

Oh, you don't think I pointed it at you on purpose, do you?

There's nothing to think about Miss Portland.

The gestures of a woman like you simply do not exist.

Mark.

It's beautiful the way these ducks know how to throw the old harpoon.

That's one of the advantages of a very fine cosmopolitan education.

Come on Jamesy, let's you and me take a powder.

Clay pigeons, that's the thrilling sort of life you're headed for in England Alan.

Shooting clay pigeons, eh?

Exactly and whether you believe it or not, I'll revel in it.

Greetings boyfriend.

Well I, I understand congratulations are in order.

I'd like to be the first to wish you the best, you'll need it.

One day, you'll say something nice and never forgive yourself.

Look toots, I...

Oh gee, I don't blame you for being sore, I know I've done a lot of stupid gabbing...

but this is on the level, I wish you all the luck.

And that's one baby you'll never have...

to be ashamed of. She's the real McCoy and she'll make a...

a marvelous wife for you.

- I wish you meant that. - I do.

Well, well, that's better.

Now, let's quit good friends, instead of like a couple of cabdrivers after a drunken brawl.

Yeah, I guess that's the way it ought to be done.

But I ain't been brought up to do the right thing like that English dame.

All I can say is what's down inside of me.

And I don't care how long you've been carrying the torch for her.

You can't quit me any more than I can quit...

you and you can kiss a stack of cookbooks on that.

- Thank you. - Well, anyway it'll be quieter in England.

- Wait till you get there, if you ever do. - What's to keep me?

Well, I've been trying it for 30 years, there's something about this place.

From my windows I can see the whole harbor of Hong Kong.

Big ships coming, big ships going, the China I know, the China I've helped to make.

And on quiet nights, off in the hills, I can hear the sound of distant firing.

They were at it when I came and they'll be at it after I've gone.

More guns won't stop them too many of them.

And the only things they respect are courage and honor.

Yes and England's power, England's place here...

can never be any greater than the men who represent her.

They might be able to use an Englishman at home sometime, you know.

Oh, I was hoping that someday you'd take my place.

- I had me eye on you for a long time. - Well, take it off.

I'm quitting the China Seas as soon as we dock.

Well, if you're...

- in earnest? - Dead earnest.

I'd better be looking for somebody to take your command, eh?

What about Dawson?

Dawson? Take my ship?

I've always heard you speak highly of him.

Yes. Yes, of course I speak highly of him.

Dawson is one of the best.

Absolutely, you couldn't do better.

Dawson?

I never forget a name or a face, now, I've seen you somewhere before.

You've seen me a dozen times a day since...

No, don't tell me, don't tell me, it's on the tip of my tongue.

The name is Timmons, T - I - M - M - O - N - S.

How do you pronounce that?

Timmons, Timmons, Timmons, T- I - M - M...

I thought he said Timmons.

I drink to the health of Admiral Puff.

My compliments to Mr. Dawson.

- Tell him I'll be up on the bridge shortly. - I drink to the health of Admiral Puff.

Whoopee, are you good Jamesy?

- Attaboy Jamesy. - You called sir?

What? Oh, yes, yes. See that all the staterooms and portholes are secured.

- We're in for a blow. - Will it be a real storm Alan? Terrifying?

All seas aren't alike, can't tell much more.

I did hope for your sake, though, it'd be an easy trip.

That's too much to expect from the China Seas.

Attaboy...

Anything else sir?

What? Yes.

Might tell them that anybody that can't hold his or her liquor...

better lay off until this blows is over.

I'm afraid you're a good influence on him Sybil and I deplore it.

- Alright, here we go again. - I beg your pardon.

Here's to the health of Admiral Puff Puff Puff, three times.

- Ok? - Perfect.

- I think you did one bounce too many. - Ah, she was all right.

I had my eye on her just like a hawk.

My dear fellow, what do you suppose I was doing?

Oh, there's two against one, two against one.

Captain says the weather is blowing up, a word to the wise.

Come on Jamesy, we're off again.

Greatest game in the world, that makes men remember and women forget.

I'll play this game until you can't remember anything but your little Jamesy.

Here's to the health of Admiral Puff three times.

Keno, you forgot to say Admiral Puff Puff Puff.

Oh, doggone it anyway, I...

- Drink up sir and start all over again. - Come on, down the hatch.

Ah, don't look so sad toots, you doing swell.

Have you ever noticed Sir Guy, that a man is never angry with a woman he doesn't like?

- I had not, until now. - Me either.

And I shall be more pleasant to her after this, shall we?

Good evening skipper, how's the barometer doing?

- Falling to a new low. - Well, don't let that worry you captain.

Say, where you been keeping yourself stranger?

Have breakfast with me in the morning, if you can eat anything.

I'll be there, nothing takes my appetite.

Say, how about joining the game that kills all care?

Oh, I'm afraid it would kill me too, good night.

Kill nothing, all you need is a wooden, hollow leg to play this game.

Here's to the health of Admiral...

- Prosit. - Prosit.

Missed out again Jamesy, sock it down boy.

It's thickening up like mud sir, we're running right into it.

Running into it? We're in it already.

Why don't you keep her on her course?

What you trying to do? Write your name in the ocean?

Old man is getting back to normal, good thing with this coming on.

Put your oilskins on and get to your stations, stick her nose right into it.

Yes sir.

Mr. Davids, tell the steward to look out for his passage...

- better get life belts on them. - Yes sir.

- Exciting sir, isn't it? My first typhoon. - Really?

Well, if you live long enough you may see another one sometime.

- Get to your station. - Yes sir.

Excuse me sir.

Chief, keep up a full head of steam, we're in for a twister.

Good old Grandfather.

Don't get panicky, just stick by me.

Hey, stop showing off, come on up here.

Come on lady, slip into this.

I really shouldn't you know, with my figure.

Tie it up in the front.

Let me help you miss.

You've lost your pearls.

No, I, I broke the string Mr.Romanoff has them.

Yes, yes, I will restring them for her as soon as we get out of this.

Oh, I never want to see them again. Throw them away, do anything you please.

Oh, if we only come out of this alive.

Now, now, Poopsie, don't let a little wind blow you off your feet.

Have you seen Miss Portland sir?

- Isn't she in her cabin? - No.

By Jove, if she went out on deck in the condition she was in...

You all, you all don't suppose she's been washed overboard?

Can't find Miss Portland sir, afraid she may have been washed overboard.

- Keep your hand to it. - Aye, aye sir.

- Where's MacArdle? - His door is locked sir.

- Why didn't you break it down? - Was afraid to without orders.

That's the game, you old beachcomber, I beat you, you hear that? I won.

Prosit.

Hey, that's the typhoon, that's the typhoon Jamesy.

Come on, give me the other 20 you owe me, come on.

Ah, quit stalling Jamesy, and give me that 20 you owe me.

Alright, if you won't give it to me, I'll take it.

What a twister that was.

Hello Dolly.

Well, where you going?

Winners always go home, don't they? What's the idea of locking the door?

- Caveman stuff, eh? - Oh no, it's...

- It's just a force of habit Dolly. - Say, are you trying to insult me?

Did I ever take anything that wasn't coming to me?

Why darling, you, you know that you could have anything that I've got, anytime.

- Now, come on you, fork that over. - Alright welsher.

There's �200 that I won and I won on the level, if you ain't a good enough sport...

No, you don't, you know what I'm talking about.

You know what I mean.

You know, it's pretty stormy out there and you never know when you might wash overboard.

- Say, are you threatening me? - Dolly, you've seen it.

- I haven't. - I tell you, you've seen it.

I haven't, I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm talking about that half of the �100 note that you just took from my wallet.

I don't know what you're saying but I'll forget you ever said anything.

Dolly, it would do you no good to double cross me.

- Oh, this is a hanging matter. - I don't want to hear another word.

If it was anybody else but you, I'd chuck you overboard.

But I'm so crazy about you it's eating my insides out.

- You're in with me. - I don't want to be, I...

Dolly, you're in with me, there's a quarter of a million pounds of gold on this ship.

Your share will make you a rich woman. We can go anywhere, do anything.

Look, I'm no good to you.

- What do you want with me? - Because you're a smart girl.

You're smart enough to hide that note, you're smart enough to know what it means.

- Yeah, I'm smart enough to stay out of this. - Even as much as I love you...

you're in with me from now on or else...

I'm going to break that pretty little neck of yours just like...

- The marines have landed. - I'm sorry to interrupt.

Dolly and I were just sealing a little partnership...

which I hope she'll never have cause to regret.

Perhaps you better do your sealing in the main salon where there's lot more witnesses.

Maybe you're right captain.

Look out.

- Hold her. - That was a near thing Alan.

Dawson.

- Get some lines, lash this down. - Come here with that line.

Hey, come here.

- Cold darling? - Yeah, yeah, cold, that's it.

You with me?

- It's a tough ocean to try and swim in. - That's a good girl.

Now, you keep miles away from that fella Gaskell or...

I might think that you're trying to double-cross me.

Captain Gaskell, the steamroller is loose sir.

It'll mash those coolies like a lot of turnips.

Oh, the poor devils.

Let it go overboard.

Come on.

Close up that rail.

Davids, lend a hand.

Get the tarps off those winches.

Alright, turn on the steam.

Go to your quarters, you're under arrest.

Well, what do you want?

I want to thank you sir, for saving my life sir.

- Oh, go to bed. - Is it all over sir?

Yeah, we'll stand regular watch from now on.

Mr. Kingston, what time do you come on watch?

- Eight bells sir. - You're one minute late.

I'm sorry sir.

Keep her half speed and make your repairs on the port engine.

Aye, aye sir.

- Davids is here sir. - Yes.

Alright.

I know what I'd do with him if this was my ship.

Well, wait till you get a ship.

Mr. Davids...

Yes sir.

Mr. Davids, for the rest of this voyage, you'll be relieved of...

duty and confined to your quarters in arrest.

When we reach port, I'll have to turn you in to the board of trade...

for neglect of duty and disobedience of orders.

I don't blame you sir.

But it's funny somehow, during the year I've been on the beach...

I've prayed every day for a chance.

And then when I got it, I couldn't make good.

I'm just a washout, that's all.

I'm sorry Davids.

- Call me when you relieve the watch. - Yes sir.

This will cost you your ticket.

It's me toots, I've been waiting for you to come off watch.

Get out of here.

Look, I got a mighty good reason for being here.

You've always got a good reason for anything you're doing.

In fact, I don't know anybody who could think up any...

more remarkable good reasons than you can on short notice.

Listen to me toots, I took an awful chance coming here.

- I might have got heaved overboard. - Well, don't run any more risk by staying.

- Get off on the rest of your rounds. - Toots, you got to listen to me.

- I only came here for one thing. - I'm quite aware of that.

You're always waiting for a sailor, to comfort him...

as only a woman like you can comfort a man who's too tired or too drunk to care who is.

Toots, don't be like that, if you keep that up you got to talk yourself right out of...

I hope so.

Oh, you hope so, do you?

Well, you've been begging for it, now you're going to get it.

You won't be so high and mighty when I get through with you.

You just wait, I'll fix you, you'll be lower than a coolie, you'll be lower than Davids.

You'll come crawling to me on your knees.

I warned you not to double cross me.

You said you could use the gun.

Well darling, you're a marvel.

You're a real partner.

You know, I thought that you was going...

What is it matter what you thought I was going to do? You got what you wanted.

Ah, don't take it so hard Dolly.

Oh, take what too hard? I got what I wanted too.

I guess.

Sparks, Sparks.

Look out sir Malays.

Oh look, they're bringing them right now.

Got a cigarette Jamesy?

I thought you said nobody get hurt.

You can't expect the boys to stand there...

and take it after someone cuts loose at them, can you?

- I must've been crazy, stark staring crazy. - Take it easy, take it easy.

Be careful.

What you hiding those pearls for? They do not worth anything.

I don't want to lose them.

You're perfectly right my dear, I've been through one of these things before.

They take everything in sight.

Something funny about those pearls, I'm going to have...

appraised when we get to Singapore.

Wilbur, don't be insane.

Every one of those guns came out of our arsenal.

- Our arsenal sir? - Yes.

I don't see how they could've broken down the steel door.

An-may in the ife-lay oat-bay.

- Davids. - Yes Dawson.

- No savvy Malay. - Do you?

Not enough but MacArdle does, I'm sure.

Hey look here, don't any of these fellows speak English?

No savvy.

Now, isn't that just too bad? Oh, that's terrible.

Yes.

Look here, whoever you are, in that lifeboat out there...

there are some mills bombs in the seat locker in my quarters.

Yeah, if you're not too badly hurt watch your chance and try and get them.

I'll hold them here as long as I can.

- No savvy. - No savvy?

There's your chance Mr. Dawson.

- And get those bombs. - He's crazy, what's the use?

- I'd only be shot at. - Yes.

I understand Mr. Dawson.

Get out of my way.

As far as I can make out, he comes from a very royal family and is very sorry to...

- disturb you like this. - Why, no disturbance at all.

He wishes to assure you that no one will be harmed.

If you will open the strongbox...

he'll willingly take the gold and depart with only the friendliest feelings toward you.

- Open the safe. - Yes sir.

You haven't lost your ticket ye, old man.

If you want me to, I'll be only too glad to put in a good word for you.

Where's Alan? You don't think they'll hurt him, do you?

No, no, of course not, my dear, no. No, they need the captain healthy.

I'm sorry Poopsie, looks like that guy did the appraising.

Why that's sand, you're pretty smart Gaskell.

Well, apparently the bank patronized some other line.

You can't fool these Malays with an old trick like the boxes of sand.

Why, whoever is at the head of this gang is got brains.

They know when there's gold on board a ship.

Why, their spies tell them about every shipment...

of gold that leaves any bank in Hong Kong.

Listen MacArdle, make it clear to him.

If there was any gold aboard, he could have it and welcome.

Listen man, I'm talking to you as though I'm your own brother.

Save yourself while there's still time.

Look here, that's my skipper, you can't...

Looks as if the party came too late.

Why, it's the boot, the Malay boot.

- Why, that's cruel torture. - Size is 9C.

Why, you're not going to let him torture you?

Have you any suggestions?

- Is that the latest style? - Don't let them do that man.

Why, you'll never be able to use your...

- foot again. - Listen Jamesy, you're a fast talker.

Better one I've ever seen, tell him something, tell him anything.

Tell him the bank fooled me as much as it did him.

I've talked my head off, he won't listen.

Tell him where it is, I can't bear it.

It's killing me to stand here and not be able to help you.

- I can't bear it. - Well, put your fingers in your ears.

Stubborn half-wit.

- Gaskell, my boy Gaskell. - Don't start counting, I'm getting up.

Please tell them where it is Gaskell.

Why, it's breaking my heart to see you suffer like this.

There can't be any gold, he would've talked.

Nobody could be that tough.

Come on, club out.

Die you...

Oh, you poor boy, you.

I made them understand there's no gold here.

It was Jamesy that saved your poor feet for you.

Are they gone?

Yes, it's all right, they're getting into the junk.

Here, take it easy, there's nothing you can do. Here Gaskell.

Davids.

- Davids. - Davids.

Shut your mouth.

- I got the bombs. - Good, good, let me have this one.

Keep clear while I blow my way out.

And thanks Davids.

Can you make it over and heave it in that junk?

I'll try.

Davids, remember after you pull the pin, you only got five seconds until it goes off.

- You're crazy, you'll get us all killed. - Get back.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Hey, a little less noise please.

Captain Gaskell?

- What you find? - Not even a scratch on the door sir.

The arsenal must've been opened with a key.

Tell the chief steward to bring MacArdle and Miss Porter to my cabin.

Yes sir.

Listen darling, where did you put that half of the hundred pound note?

- I know it's safe but I got to... - I hid it.

- Where? - In Gaskell's cabin, in a tin of cigarettes.

- Well, aren't you a wonder. - It's safe.

He won't find it, he doesn't smoke my kind.

- Oh, quit worrying, I'll get it. - No, you won't.

You'll stay right where you are till this thing blows over.

Now, promise me darling, that you won't go near the place.

That's easy. I wouldn't exactly enjoy looking...

Looking at his bandaged feet.

Well, that's too bad.

But what about us? What about the poor devils he captured?

You know, I wouldn't put it past him to use the Chinese boot on them.

- If he does, they'll talk. - Oh, he won't use the boot.

- He'd never hit a man below the belt. - Well, we're not hung yet.

Gaskell may suspect the whole world but he's got to prove it.

- Well, let him prove it, let him prove it. - Are you out of your mind?

Alright, come in.

Captain Gaskell's compliments and will you come to his cabin?

And you too Miss Portland.

Just a minute.

- Jamesy, that... - Now, now, now, wait a minute.

It's simply a matter of routine.

If it comes to the worst, I'm the only one that he can prove anything against.

So you just sit tight and keep a stiff upper lip.

Alright bozo.

Order me an upper and lower and I'll keep them both stiff.

Alright, come on, answer.

- After you left my cabin, where you go? - Back to my own quarters.

- What time was that? - About half past 11.

- Was anybody there? - Nobody but Isabel, I told her to go to bed.

Your maid says she was asleep at a quarter after 9, two hours before.

Ah, it's always a quarter after 9 to that numbskull, it's the only time she knows.

- Did anybody come to your cabin later? - My dates are my own now.

The deck watch saw a man leaving your cabin after 1 o'clock, that was you, wasn't it?

- Look here Alan, that's not... - I'm conducting this inquiry Sir Guy.

That was you, wasn't it?

What do you want me to do? Blacken the lady's name?

- That was Jamesy, wasn't it? - Well, supposing it was, what then?

Why was he in your cabin?

He came to borrow a hot water bottle for one of his pigs.

- Got a cigarette Jamesy? - No darling.

- Here, here you better have one of your own. - No, never mind, I don't...

No, no bother at all, I know what these little attentions mean to a woman.

Well I, I don't want one now. I guess it's just nerves, I...

Oh. Oh, I'm sorry you don't feel well, you rode out the piracy as such a good shape.

- Perhaps you'd like one. - Well, well, thank you.

The captain is far more generous with your cigarettes than you ever were.

Too generous. I guess I'll take them home with me while there's...

still a couple left for myself.

- How many tins have you Jamesy? - One.

- Four and one are five, are... - Lose any?

I thought I left six here.

Oh, yes, yes, so you did, I almost forgot.

I don't understand this cat and mouse business.

Is this the one?

Yes, that's it.

You won't find what you're looking for, I've both halves of the hundred pound note.

Oh, what are you browbeating the girl for?

Just a minute MacArdle, your turn is next.

One half of the note was found on a dead pirate, the other half was hidden...

in her cigarette tin.

Hello.

- These Chinese characters look familiar. - Yes, they're MacArdle's shipping symbol.

Well, that's queer.

If I wasn't sure of it, why, I'd swear that I wrote those characters.

I'll swear you wrote them MacArdle before any admiralty court.

Yes? Well, what will your oath prove?

Save your breath MacArdle, we caught two of your men, they've talked.

- You used the Chinese boot on them. - No, I saved that for you, if I needed it.

How did you manage to get the ship's rifles? You couldn't have done a thing without them.

You've answered to all the questions so far, don't stop now.

Alright, I won't.

- You gave him the key to the arsenal. - Me?

She gave me nothing.

You were the only one who knew where it was besides myself, you came to my cabin...

- Alright, you lost it. - Waited till I passed out...

- get to the key and handle over to MacArdle. - That's a dirty rotten lie,

I'll sue the line and get plenty too.

- Defaming a lady's character... - Yes, quartermaster.

- Yes sir? - Tell the sergeant at guard to come here.

And send a radio message to the police superintendent in Singapore.

- Tell him to meet us at the dock, urgent. - Urgent, yes sir.

And you better send for a squad of lawyers too if...

you think you going to pin anything on me.

- What a dirty little snake you are. - What's that to you?

Getting into my cabin because I trusted you.

- Trust? When do you really trust... - Waiting for a chance to...

- do your double cross. - I didn't.

- Turning on your own people. - I didn't, I...

- Sold out every man woman coming on-board. - Alright then, I did.

I stole the key, yes, I stole it and gave it to Jamesy.

But I came to your cabin to warn you about him, figure it out for yourself why I didn't.

I'd have stood and fought back to back with you.

But you taught me something I didn't even know myself.

When a woman can love a man right down to her fingertips, she can hate him the same way.

Now call your cops, call every cop in the country, I don't care.

If you can dish it out, I can take it.

You fool, you hotheaded, crazy little fool.

And me thinking all the time that my powers of fascination had won her.

Ah, don't be so tough Gaskell.

China Doll had nothing to do with it at all.

You think it's as simple as all that? I'm not the judge, the jury and the law.

You'll find that out soon enough.

No, I won't. I've fooled them many a time before and I've done it again.

I've cost you millions, and I'd still be fooling them...

if it wasn't for the little yellow haired lass sad...

that wouldn't even give me the time of the day.

- What's wrong MacArdle? - Nothing, nothing.

Nothing at all.

One of those pills will make a pig sleep the entire voyage.

- I'll sleep until kingdom come. - Get a doctor quick.

Jamesy.

I had a chance darling, to throw you overboard.

If I had, I'd still be safe.

Loving you is the only decent thing I ever did in my life.

Even that was a mistake.

- You sent for me sir? - Take Miss Porter to her cabin.

Keep a close watch over her until further orders.

Aye sir.

Well, he's out of it anyway.

- He finished the game the way he played it. - Yeah, tough.

He didn't yell no dice when they rolled against him, I won't either.

Good luck toots.

- Singapore. - So am I, where are you from?

Lordy, Lordy. Now I got enough clothes to last me a million years.

Well, I hope you have better luck in them than I did.

Don't you worry Miss Dolly, I got me a conjure.

The left hind leg of a black cat that's been killed by a snakebite.

Nothing going to touch me no matter what they does to you.

Yes?

Well darling, have you put your house in order?

No, it's in a worse mess than ever.

Sybil, I should've told you before, I'll be tied up here for weeks at the hearing.

Now Alan dear, what are you trying to tell me? Be frank.

That's just it...

I want you to escape all the frankness it's going to be thrown around the next few weeks.

Everybody will know about it, read about it.

Even at home, for that matter, the people you know.

But you can live down a scandal if you want to.

Yes but this will have an official stamp on it.

I'll have to get up in court, tell the whole story.

I want to Sybil, because I'm involved.

In fact, I'm as guilty as she.

Guilty? Oh, what nonsense. How could you be Alan?

I am though.

She tried to warn me about MacArdle, I wouldn't listen.

I nearly threw her out.

With as dirty an insult as a man could give a woman.

- That's not like you. - I don't know why.

Except, I'd just seen her in MacArdle's cabin.

I didn't think she get skid that far.

And you're really in love with...

this old tub after all.

No, no but it's that too.

After all you can't pile up 6 years...

of something and then just leave in the flash, you know?

No.

No, of course not.

Well, I'm off to the hotel. I'll take the next boat home.

You know, I came 15,000 miles to find you Alan.

Now you're further away than you ever were.

You wouldn't like that fireplace in Sussex.

I think that's what I've been trying to tell you.

Sybil, aren't you clinging to something that I could never be again?

Yes, perhaps I am.

But I think that's the only beautiful way it ever could be.

- Goodbye Alan. - Goodbye Sybil.

Come on, you large, limping seagull.

Come to the office and resign.

Don't worry about that, I'll resign soon enough.

All I got to do is scratch my name on a piece of paper.

Around this madhouse, it's always a million things to do before you can do what you want.

- I'll make it easy, honest I will Poopsie. - Good bye.

Hey, you're just the guy, where can I pick up a string of genuine pearls for the missus?

Oh, yes, yes, I'll be very glad to arrange it for you.

That's a pal, I told you I'd square with you Poopsie.

You squared it beautifully.

Bank sent for the gold sir.

- Alright, turn it over to them. - But there isn't any gold sir.

- The boxes were full of sand. - Oh yes, yes, so they were.

The shipment is in the toolbox of the steamroller.

Steamroller? Toolbox?

That stumps me sir, I never would've thought of looking for it there.

No, I was counting on that.

Oh, so you decided to make the trip after all?

Yes. Yes, I just came along looking for local color.

Local color, phooey. If anybody could get local color, I can get it.

These streets are in deplorable condition.

Quartermaster, fish him out before he soaks up all the local color in the harbor.

Aye, aye sir.

Come in.

- Is the police superintendent ready? - He'll be here any minute now, come on.

Goodbye, Isabel.

Goodbye Miss Dolly, you sure been mighty good to me,

- Skip it. - Even if they does hang you.

Well, there's the old Quien-Howe.

Aren't they ever going to paint that smokestack?

Boy, how you used to crab about it when you were first mate on her.

Seems like a thousand years ago.

Well, you don't need to talk if you don't want to.

I was only doing it for the benefit of those mugs back there.

That's what I thought.

I've never seen the time yet when you could overlook an audience.

That's more like it, it's kind of good to have you barking at me again.

Always worrying about your performance, you don't care...

about anything except, how is the act going?

What you crying for?

I can't help it.

Get in there and quit that blubbering.

- Now, listen to me numbskull. - I'm all ears.

My official job ends when I turn you over to the police superintendent.

From then on, I'll be on your side of the fence.

Oh, what's the use? I'll plead guilty and take what's coming.

- You're going to tell the whole truth. - Sure I am, that's the least I can do.

And I'm going to tell the truth, everything.

That you tried to warn me, that, well, that I was drunk.

- Oh, no, you weren't. - Yes, I was. Dead drunk.

Oh, you big cluck, you'll gum up the works, you'll ruin yourself.

You'll bust up your whole career if you do that.

It's nothing else to do Dolly, it's your only chance.

Oh, never mind me, what about her?

She going back to England.

- Back to England? But you still love her. - She's leaving on the next boat.

Oh, you can't let her do that toots, you still in love her.

- Don't start telling me what to do. - I said, you're still in love with her.

- And don't yell like that, I'm not deaf. - Oh, you poor sap, you love her.

And don't call me a sap.

- You love her. - Yes, I love her.

But not the way I do you.

Oh toots, you can't.

That ain't fair, ain't right. A nogood dame like...

me why, I'll always have you in trouble Alan.

No, you won't.

Married life will slow you down plenty.

You...

You'd marry me?

Well no, not if you're going to make it such a blasted favor.

Oh, you, you poor sap.

Come in.

- Good morning captain. - Good morning superintendent.

- Here's your receipt for the prisoners. - Yes, all right.

I'll be over as soon as I get through.

- Anything you want... - Anything I...

Toots, I got everything.

Come on superintendent, let's get on the horse.

What about a nip to cool that aching brow?

No, no, fix one for yourself, I got to get around to court.

Somebody will have to protect that judge.

Those shoes are disgraceful on an officer Mr. Kingston.

- A hose coupling just broke sir. - Hose couplings shouldn't break.

Change the hose and change your shoes Mr. Kingston.

Yes sir.

Change your shoes Mr. Kingston.

A piracy, a typhoon, a disabled ship swung into port, his sweetheart on her way to...

jail and all he can say by way of conversation...

- is change your shoes Mr. Kingston. - That bark of his is all front.

- He's really pretty sick at heart. - Sick? The man hasn't got a heart.

Perhaps not Mr. Kingston but whatever it is he has, it gets things done.