Original subtitles

2 (PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES)

OLY: Oh, my God, Shauna. Please stop.

SANTI: Yeah, it's, like... It's kinda bothering me a little bit.

This is, like, my first big commission

and nobody's even gonna see it.

Not that I want them to.

But now I gotta meet this new furry

and who knows what he's gonna be like.

What's a good meet-a-furry shirt?

He'll be hilarious.

(LAUGHS) Obviously the capybara T-shirt.

SANTI: Really?

It's a little unprofessional, don't you think?

What do I wear to be invisible to my boss

who's in a bad mood and it's like... she's possessed.

Isn't she always like that?

Uh, she's been emailing me since 4am.

(SNIFFS) She's on a rampage.

(SIGHS) You should quit. I've told you that.

Why don't you quit?

'Cause of da money!

Well, then maybe we've gotta suck it up.

Just be grateful.

- Mm-hm. - Deep breath.

JACINDA: Mum, do you know where my pirate socks are?

They're exactly where you left them!

(PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES)

Ooh, it's happening.

(PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES)

(QUIRKY MUSIC)

What did I miss? Any public executions?

Well, she, uh, ripped the comms team a new one

for not emptying the dishwasher.

And I'm pretty sure I saw

one of the planning managers crying in a meeting.

So, yeah, pretty standard.

Why is she like this? What... is wrong with her?

Oly, just put your head down and do the work.

Remember, don't argue with her.

Nice to see you roll up, eh?

Must be great having kids. Make your own schedule.

Show up late, go home early.

Work from home. Whatever you want, hey?

Marcus was here at 7:00.

I was speaking to IT about

how to make pages on the new intranet.

Just like you asked me to.

I don't remember asking you that.

(PHONE RINGS)

Oh, for fuck's sake!

If you want, I could introduce you to Fernando, my bean guy.

Please don't do that.

DOM: Now, this is pure rainwater...

...for the ozone.

How long does it take?

(SIGHS) Three hours.

Yeah, you can't rush a piece of art, mate.

Worth the wait.

Can you just give me the bloody Bitcoin so I can go to work?

I can't physically give it to you, mate.

That's the point of the password.

That's why I asked you to write it down.

Yeah, and I know I said I wrote it down,

but I didn't write it down, so...

Well, luckily for you, I wrote it down -

on a card

in the pocket of my jeans.

- Do you mean your blue jeans? - Yeah.

They are in the wash.

But...

But you checked the back pocket, yeah?

Before you washed them?

You always check the back bloody pocket!

Jeez!

Don't do that! You can't turn it off until it's done!

- Front-loader bullshit! - TIM: Stop doing that!

- Two hours?! - You're gonna make it worse.

Guys, calm down. There's no need to fight.

It's just a couple of hundred bucks.

Uh, mate, it's not just a couple of hundred bucks.

I feel like it crashed.

- It's, like, nearly 50 grand. - 50 grand!

It did crash. And then it peaked.

It crashes and peaks every hour. It's like a set of waves.

It's probably gonna be worthless by the time this cycle's over!

TIM: I don't think we can turn it off!

BOWIE: What do we do?

(QUIRKY MUSIC)

(GATE SQUEAKS)

(EXHALES STRONGLY)

(DARK MUSIC)

SANTI: Hey.

I'm Santi.

You are...

(GRUFFLY) Jeffurry.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Just...

It's a really nice place you have.

(CLOCK CHIMES)

Just... around?

Do you want me to go up or...

(UNSETTLING MUSIC)

We're gonna go... down?

Yeah. Sure.

(DOOR SQUEAKS)

- (DOOR CLOSES) - Fucking...

(LAUGHS)

Your face.

I'm Jeff. I was just messin' about.

- Oh. - Don't be scared.

(CHUCKLES)

Um... so where are you thinking?

For the piece.

Right. Yep.

So...

- ...I'm thinking... - Uh-huh.

...of getting rid of my angry dead dad painting.

I want something that celebrates me on the wall.

OK, yeah. Of course.

Um...

So are you thinking about, like,

sort of where the painting is

or what are you...

I mean, the whole wall.

Go the ceiling as well. Why not?

You know, Sistine Chapel style.

So, um, that's a pretty big job.

Um, how much are you thinking of spending?

TIM: $49,942.

Yeah, no, I just... I've... I've gotta take a personal day.

Yeah, no, it's this whole, um...

...family emergency type scenario...

...thing.

Yeah, thanks, Jagdev.

Alright.

TIM: Nice.

Maybe... maybe don't unpeel it. You know, it could rip.

Do you want me to dry it? In the oven?

I saw a documentary on the 'Titanic'

where they bring things up and they put it in trays of water.

- Great idea. - Yeah?

Ready? Moving on.

(SIGHS) OK.

Yes. Yes, yes!

Ah, shit.

Alright, OK. I need to write that down. Wait one sec.

DOM: Fuckin' corner bit's peeled off.

It's got 16 digits and we're missing...

We need six more.

OK, guys, it's in your brain somewhere.

We just have to access it. Is it letters or is it numbers?

- Letters. - Numbers.

- Numbers. - Letters.

- Letters. - Numbers.

TIM: OK, focusing.

If it is numbers, it's probably a date.

Well, it was my 21st. It could be my birthday.

DOM: You're a genius. Get the laptop.

OK, we've got seven tries and then you're locked out forever.

(ALL GROAN)

OK, that actually wasn't my birthday.

- That was Oly's birthday. - Sorry, mate.

It's just the stress of it all. Let me put your...

Let... let me. Look.

(ALL GROAN)

Maybe it's my birthday. You think?

TIM: Maybe.

(ALL GROAN)

- Mum. - Yes. Definitely Mum.

- Is she October? - Yep.

- Oh, guys, come on! - I told you!

Three more tries.

(SHAUNA SINGS) ? Shauna's in a good mood!

? So she got everybody doughnuts

? Doughnuts in the kitchen today! ?

Everyone, I am in love with all of you.

You can all work from home tomorrow.

And free high-fives in my office,

if you're looking for 'em.

Love you!

- (MARCUS SCOFFS) - Doughnuts of guilt.

Probably poisoned.

- You gonna have one? - Yes!

- Are you? - Pff! No.

I'm disabled enough. Good luck, though.

So I left my corporate job to start my own business

so I don't have to hide who I truly am.

So, yeah, I'm just looking for

an amazing piece of art that, uh...

SANTI: I'm sorry. Go on.

...showcases my true fursona, you know what I mean?

Well... (SIGHS) Look, man, it's really...

...whatever you feel will represent you.

Maybe it's me getting my OAM.

OK, yeah. What's that?

- Order of Australia. - Wow.

- You... you have one of those? - Not yet.

But I'm, yeah, going to. Definitely.

It's just a matter of time, so...

Oh, you know what?

Maybe it should be like Shane Warne's mural, but instead,

it's me and a bunch of other famous people as furries.

You know? (SMACKS LIPS)

All over the place.

- OK. - You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, who would you want?

The Pope.

The Rock.

Whoever, you know what I mean?

You've seen Warnie's mural, right?

SANTI: I'll google it.

Best worst painting ever!

VINCE AND SANTI: Mmm.

How have I never seen this before?

I don't wanna criticise another artist's work.

Like, they were probably just doing what he asked for, but...

He didn't even ask for Batman, bro.

I don't know, bro, I kinda like it.

Do you think you can drop me in there?

What do you think should be my fursona?

Maybe you just need to find something to love about the job.

VINCE: Yeah. I find something to love

about every baby I help get born.

A lot of people would love to be getting paid

to explore their artistic side.

If we had one.

Well, I would love to be doing work that I believe in.

Like some other people.

Look, it's a few days. You get paid...

No, it's not days. It's weeks.

The wall's massive.

And he offered me a really good rate.

Oh, well, there you go.

That's something to love about it.

(SIGHS)

We are moving through a tunnel.

We are going back in time.

Think about buying the Bitcoin.

Why did you buy the Bitcoin?

I wanted to buy something significant

for Bowie's 21st birthday.

(MYSTICAL MUSIC)

When I was 21, I got my first car.

Then I realised Bowie's not a car person.

But I wanted him to feel the way that car made me feel.

I loved that car.

I thought perhaps...

...he could use the money to see the world.

Walk the Santiago trail.

Whatever it was, I wanted him to feel

the way that car made me feel.

And by the time...

...he knew what he wanted to do with the money,

that perhaps the Bitcoin...

...might be worth something.

Whatever it was...

...I just wanted him to feel the way the car made me feel.

(MUSIC STOPS)

I know what it is.

It's my licence plate!

- You only have two... - D-T-Y...

...1-4-6.

(BEEPS)

- We're in! - Yes!

Yes!

50 thousand bucks?

No.

No, it's dropped three grand already.

Bowie, uh, download this app

and cash this in immediately.

(ENIGMATIC MUSIC)

MAN IN VIDEO: ..total dollars that you want to invest

and not the number of coins you want to buy.

And this... this is my personal, private, red-hot tip.

This is my... my secret key to investing and winning.

Hold no more...

(SNORES SOFTLY)

Using my strategy, I've made five times my initial...

Yeah, I've been thinking a lot about,

you know, what we talked about last time we met.

Let me know what you think of something like that.

(CHUCKLES) Yeah!

That looks good!

That's... good.

(CUCKOO CLOCK CHIRPS)

You're not in... You're not into it?

It's not my thing but, um...

...if you're into it, that's what matters, right?

Yeah. Okey-dokey.

Kinda want the artist to be excited about the work, though.

What even is cyber money?

- Oh! - Isn't it a scam?

Does it even really exist?

Uh, yeah, I'm gonna mansplain this to you, Mum.

Cyber money is no less real than the imaginary money

you're playing with on your phone.

Money exists because people believe in it, right?

Crypto's no different.

Isn't it bad for the environment?

You know, there are a lot of smart people

working on resolving that problem with renewables.

And I mean, really, it's the banks and the stock markets,

they're the ones that are invested in fossil fuels.

They're the ones that are protecting the status quo.

(WHISPERS) This is the future.

I wanna help you and Edie invest.

Even if I had lots of money lying around,

I wouldn't invest in something that makes no sense.

But it's good to see you excited about something.

- Hey, Boz. - Yeah?

Did you end up selling that crypto?

I heard it was worth, like, 50 grand.

I, uh... I diversified my portfolio.

I'm... I'm part of a community of

paradigm-shifting visionaries at the moment, yeah.

You know, if you're interested, you can follow me @cryptobrowie.

- I'm not supporting that. - (LAUGHS) What a surprise.

Yeah, go and be a sad little no-coiner, Ol.

See how far you get with that.

Alright, you big, boring crypto fascist.

- (PHONE RINGS) - I, uh...

Yeah, I have to, uh, go and make some trades.

Did he just say he's gonna make a trade?

(SNICKERS)

- Wow. - (PHONE RINGS)

- Hi, Shauna. - Hey, Oly. Where are you?

You said that I could work from home.

Don't remember saying that. Everybody else is here.

- Marcus is here. - OK. I'll come straight in.

I don't know why you think

you deserve some kind of special treatment.

I don't think that.

I'm glad that you don't think that,

'cause you're nothing fuckin' special, alright?

You're barely above average.

Excuse me, you are being a bully

to my sweet and lovely adult child

who works very hard for you.

I'm gonna have to set some boundaries.

Thank you so much, Mum,

for coming to the rescue for little baby Oly.

Wow. This behaviour is not OK.

- God! - Mum!

No job is worth being treated like that,

being spoken to like that.

- She was being a bully. - You are!

(MUTTERS) Oly.

You can get another job in five seconds.

Stop being silly.

(SCREAMS) You're silly!

No, you've gotta stand up for yourself.

(DOOR SLAMS)

Wait, so he said he liked your work

and then you quit?

Because you said that I should quit

if I couldn't find something to love about the job.

Great.

Now I'm probably gonna be fired

and we'll have to live with interfering Mum forever - yay!

I didn't like how he was telling me how to draw.

Like, I wouldn't tell him how to be a CEO.

Well, did you tell him your ideas?

No, because I didn't have any ideas, Oly.

It was a stupid job.

I fully support your decision to throw away 8 grand

for artistic integrity, but you do sound a bit judgey.

I have to go to work.

(PHONE RINGS)

- (KNOCKS) - SHAUNA: What?

I'm so, so sorry

about my mum hanging up on you.

It's actually her that has no boundaries.

She didn't hang up on me. I hung up on her.

I've done that myself many times.

Oly, why aren't you working yet?

I mean, you're here at work and yet...

('PRIVE' BY GENO CARRAPETTA)

Hmm!

SANTI: Look, man, I'm...

I'm really sorry that I wasn't getting into it.

I just...

I'm still getting used to working with clients

and I don't think I had the right attitude of, um,

you know, like, collaboration.

And I feel like if I can...

I know you think the whole furry thing's weird.

Yeah, look, I think it's weird.

But, man, everybody's weird, right?

My family think I'm weird 'cause I'm an artist

but I don't fit in the art scene 'cause I'm not weird enough.

Look, I know I wasn't hyped about the work,

but I've had some ideas.

And if you don't like it, it's fine.

But can I show you?

OK. So...

I don't think Jeffurry should be

part of the crowd, stuck in the corner.

I think Jeffurry should be the star.

Nobody puts Jeffurry in a corner.

Like, he got rejected from his family

but then accepted by a community of people

who, like, love him for who he is, you know?

So they get fur-secuted by the 'normies'

for being different.

Sounds like you really bonded.

Yeah, we did.

He showed me the furries that he follows

and it's actually a really creative community.

That's, like, what I really resonated with.

Like, they're not based on any existing IPs - not like cosplay.

Is it a sex thing?

No. Well...

That's what everyone always asks, and Jeffurry thinks

everyone should just mind their own business.

I'm really happy that you found something to love about it.

Yeah. It feels good, you know?

And also the money!

Yeah, and the money's pretty good.

(OLY LAUGHS)

BOWIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, my dude, my dude,

yeah, that's all very well and good.

Like, I'm gonna put you onto something really, really cool.

This is opportunity-of-a- lifetime kinda stuff right here.

If you're just not up to it, then that's fine, dude.

You know, you can be a bitch all your life if you want

or you can make it count now, know what I'm saying?

('105' BY SLOAN PETERSON)

SHAUNA: I'll fucking do it myself then, I suppose!

(DOOR SLAMS)

Ohh!

I...I haven't heard of that one. Let me find a pen.

SHAUNA: I fucking hate it here! Fuck everyone!

? No, I don't need this

? I don't want to... ?

(LAUGHS)

God!

The fucking bathroom.

Ahhh!

(CACKLES)

Go!

? Lack of devotion

? Now. ?

SHAUNA: OK, so I need you to do whatever you need to do

to get these researchers across the line, OK?

Charm them, schmooze them... bake them a fucking cake.

Ooh, I have a gluten-free black sesame banana bread recipe.

It doesn't sound good, but everyone loves it.

Sounds like shit.

- Um... - MAN: Actually...

Uh... meeting adjourned.

MAN: What was all that about this morning?

- Sorry, can you just calm down? - You got a fucking nerve!

SHAUNA: And I know you're angry and you should be angry.

- After all I do for you! - OK, I know. I'm sorry.

And you do do a lot and I know that, so...

- MAN: Do you understand me? - SHAUNA: Yes, I do. I get that.

- (MAN SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY) - Sorry, OK? I'm really sorry.

If I ever hear you use that tone of voice with me again...

- (DOOR CLOSES) - (SOBS)

And then she thought she'd hung up

and I heard her and Brett have, like,

a full-on screaming fight.

Do you know him?

What's he like?

He's a dick.

Shauna can do better.

Do you like her?

(SCOFFS) No.

(MARCUS TYPES)

I'm gonna go and talk to her and see if she's OK.

Don't do that.

Oly.

(TYPES RAPIDLY)

- Hey, Shauna. - What?

OLY: Um...

(PHONE CHIMES)

I was just wondering how you're going.

Is everything alright?

Oh, my God. Yeah.

I'm fine. I don't, um...

We're not friends, OK?

I know I came to your wedding. Thanks for the invite.

Um, but I don't wanna sit around and join your fucking book club

or braid your hair or...

I'm not part of a book club.

- (PHONE BUZZES) - I have no time to have fun.

I just wanna let you know that I'm here.

- Mmm. - I know that you're...

(CHORTLES)

OK.

I just wanna let...

Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me.

(PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES)

Oh, my... Fuck!

(PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES)

Fuck! Ugh!

(GRUNTS)

Piece of shit!

(SIGHS)

Can you get me a new phone?

No.

- I'm not gonna do that. - SHAUNA: OK.

I'm gonna go home.

SHAUNA: Yeah.

- And I'm not gonna come back. - OK.

SONG: ? A silver stage

? Thunder rips against his body

? Finally escaped the cage

? My mama warned me the days were long

? And then she told me... ?

- (MOUTHS SILENTLY) - (FEEDBACK WHINES)

Marcus, get me a new phone.

- (DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) - ? Catch a one-way ticket home

? And know

? You won't escape it

? You won't escape him

? As far as you go

? The lies will tame you

? Won't tell

? For being enough. ?

(BATS CHIRP)

SHAUNA: Surprise!

Here's Johnny!

- I'm kidding. It's me. - Shauna!

Oh, no, is something happening?

Are they starting on the trees now?

No, there's nothing going on with the trees.

- What are you doing? - Why are you even still here?

You know why I'm here.

Connection to land.

Oh... Angie.

(WHISPERS) God, you sound like a fuckwit.

Oh!

Shauna, what are you doing here?

Oh, yes. OK, so, um...

So...

...I recently got back with my ex, right?

And it's, like, totally toxic. (LAUGHS)

But...

...I'm kind of... not great with, like, emotions.

And so, like...

...I've kinda been taking some of those, like,

weird, bad-relationship vibes to work.

Yeah, I noticed.

That's rude.

Um, I would love Oly to come back, right?

And I want to, like...

...call and apologise and stuff.

Uh-huh.

And I'll be a better boss, you know?

- I swear, like, I really will. - Oh, yeah?

Do you reckon you could put in a good word for me?

Not until you leave the guy.

Does it... does it change if you know that he's got

that devil dick?

What?

Like, bad person, good dick, you know? Good sex.

Oh. Yeah, right.

Oh, it's a shame that he's the only person in the world

who's good at that.

I know I came into your tent, but I'm not interested.

- Sorry? - Are you hitting on me?

What? (LAUGHS) No!

You made this weird.

Alright, so I'm gonna go home

to my nice house

that isn't a fucking tent

and break up with my beautiful, beautiful boyfriend.

What's one more failed relationship anyway, hey?

Well, a failed relationship is

being miserable and staying together.

What are you, fucking Oprah? Ugh, God.

Alright, fine. I will break up with him.

Probably have some hot break-up sex.

And then I'll get my mate Kev around to change the locks.

And you know what, actually?

Just by the way.

I actually really love the environment.

And I do have a connection to land.

But I can't change the whole fucking world at once.

- So... - Yeah.

Goodnight.

Oh, zip me in!

(TUTS AND GROANS)

(SIGHS)

(WARM MUSIC)

- Oh, Bowie! - Mum.

Can I come in?

Yes, come in.

What's going on?

Oh, you've got your goat shoes on.

Uh, yeah, I, um...

I'm back.

Oh. Where have you been?

I think I got a bit lost.

I think that whole cyber money thing

was sort of turning me into somebody

that I didn't... really like.

So I gave all the money to Landcare.

What?

All that money?

Oh, what a beautiful person you are!

Oh, my God, I can't believe I've raised

such amazing, generous, caring kids.

- Mwah! - Stop it.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh, my little Bowie baby goat!

(GIGGLES) Mum!

Stop it, Mum.

ANGIE: I'm so proud of you!

Stop it!

And three, two, one.

Open.

(GASPS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS) What?!

It's better than I could have imagined!

It's so amazing.

JEFF: I can't believe it. (LAUGHS)

Uh, there is...

...one other thing that goes with it,

if you like it.

Yeah?

(CHUCKLES)

I thought your dad could have his own secret fursona.

You guys want a photo?

- Yeah. Should we get one? - Yeah, let's do it.

('WOLF' BY BONES)

And what about a howl? Like in the mural.

(BOTH HOWL)

? I'm not afraid of the big bad wolf

? 'Cause the big bad wolf's just a beast

? You can clench your fists

? Make your nasty groove

? But the rhythm that you're hittin' don't move us

? So we shall not move

? We do not boogie to the beat

? In a house of hate

? The only beat-beat-beat I'll boogie to

? Is mine, mine, mine, mine, mine

? I'm not afraid of the big bad wolf

? 'Cause the big bad wolf's just teeth

? I'm not afraid of the big bad wolf

? 'Cause the big bad wolf's just a beast

? 'Cause the big bad wolf's just teeth

? I'm not afraid of the big bad wolf

? Boogie to the beat of your own drum

? Boogie to the beat of your drum

? Boogie to the beat of your own drum

? 'Cause if you bang-bang, others will come

? Boogie to the beat of your own drum

? Boogie to the beat of your drum

? Boogie to the beat of your own drum

? 'Cause if you bang-bang, others will come. ?

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