Original subtitles

2 (ROLLER DOOR RATTLES)

DOM: I'm not helping you.

EDITH: You could just give me a hand

with the door?

DOM: No.

- (CHIMES JANGLE) - (EDITH EXHALES)

DOM: Wow.

- (EDITH EXHALES) - It's like Aladdin's cave.

But instead of treasures, it's full of traumatic memories.

So...

...she was a hoarder.

(CHUCKLES) That's an understatement.

OK, well, here's the plan.

We look at none of it, we chuck out all of it.

Throw out all Mum's worldly possessions?

Yes, without looking at it.

Here's what we're doing.

We make three piles -

throw away, keep and give to charity.

And a sell pile?

Well, we may as well make some money

out of this whole nightmare.

- I am so glad I don't have kids. - Oh, yeah?

Well, who's gonna go through your stuff

when you decide to cark it, huh?

Certainly not me.

I'm... I'm parched. Did you bring any wine?

- Of course not! - Why not?

Maybe we'll find some.

Ooh!

Hey, look at this.

DOM: Is that Auntie Carol?

(CLEARS THROAT)

(CUP AND SAUCER CLATTER SOFTLY)

(GROANS) Oh, God.

- Who are you? - It's OK. You're OK.

I just thought I might... send over some tea.

Oh, God.

Oh, huh!

Aren't you a sweet... child?

Um, what did I do with my phone and my bra?

- Not sure. - (SIGHS)

And my life?

I haven't done that in for...

(EXHALES) ..ever, actually.

I've never done that.

(LAUGHS)

(SNORTS)

Snort tequila? (CHUCKLES)

No, just hook up with someone from a dating app.

Yeah.

And I've also got, like, an hour,

couple of hours to spare before I go to work, so...

Oh, no, I think we both know what this is.

- Yep, yep, yep, yep. - Or was.

Was.

Was?

Two people clearly

not over their exes.

Yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right.

That's why you kept calling me Mark last night?

Oh, fucking Mark.

Yeah, that guy, hey?

Meanwhile, you're a...

You're a lot hotter IRL than your dating profile.

- Yeah? - Mm.

- (CHUCKLES) - Thanks.

What's wrong with my dating profile?

All the blurry pictures of you playing basketball.

It's netball, OK?

- And I play wing attack. - OK.

(GIGGLES) Hey.

Um, can you turn around, face that way?

Turn what?

Turn your body that way.

Yes. Yes. Look at me.

Head down. Eyes up.

- You... - (CAMERA CLICKS)

...are about to be having a lot of sex.

(CAMERA CLICKS)

Let's get some different looks happening.

Funny you say. I was thinking maybe...

No, absolutely not.

- We don't have to have the hats. - No. No hats.

SONG: ? Take a good look at me... ?

WOMAN: Oh, that's great.

Come a bit closer.

(MOANS) Oh, I like that!

Arch your back a bit. Now give it to me, Vince.

Get on your knees. Get down there.

Ooh! I like it! It's like a rattlesnake.

Oh, that's... Yes! Oh, yeah!

? There's enough wannabes

? Move it like you mean it

? You move it like me... ?

- Uso! Looking sharp. - Thanks, man.

Where are you off to, uce?

- Sex Town. - Ooh! Who with?

At this rate, who knows?

(PHONE CHIMES)

I know I've been busy with this stuff,

but if you feel like you wanna talk about anything,

you know I'm... I'm always down.

(CHUCKLES) Talk about what, bro?

You know, just, like, life stuff

or if you've got anything that you wanna get off your chest.

I'm good, man. Everything's on the up.

Any chance that you and Oly are gonna be out today?

Uh, yeah, probably after we drop off J.

Sweet, 'cause I have someone to do.

Aren't you with Malik today, bro?

Shit.

- Hey, 'rattlesnake'. - Morning.

What's he running from? His feelings?

- (DOOR SLAMS) - He says he's good.

On the up, apparently.

That's what Reema's saying.

(TOASTER RATTLES)

How do we get Vince and Reema back together?

OLY: We could do a dinner.

(DOOR OPENS)

Oh, she's coming. You'd better hide that.

What are you drawing, Papi? Can I see?

See what?

I never get to see anything!

- SANTI: Oh, sorry, puchita. - OLY: I know.

It's 'cause you're this big.

- SANTI: That is a good idea. - JACINDA: It's not fair.

- Mm? - Dinner, us four.

Yeah.

- Hey, Ol. - OLY: Hey, Reems.

Do you have plans tonight?

No. Why?

OLY: I was just wondering...

Do you wear lipstick to the soccer training?

Shush!

Huh?

REEMA: Sorry. My mum came.

Oh, hi, Ishani.

ISHANI: Hi, Oly.

Do you put on lot of make-up when you play soccer?

I don't do any of those things.

(GIGGLES)

Because you are clever.

Can you ask Reema if she wants to come to dinner tonight?

Oly wants you to take those earrings off

and come for dinner.

Who's going?

It's just Santi and Oly.

Oly, it seems Reema's going to be busy this evening...

...with a certain Rakim.

Oh, my God, how did you know about that? Did Dad tell...

(ISHANI LAUGHS)

Oly, yeah, I'm free for dinner tonight

but also, I'm OK.

What do you mean?

I know you're worried about me

and I'm completely fine, alright?

I'm just really focusing on myself.

Too focused, if you ask me.

Hey, Reems, what's your mum saying about Rakim?

OK, I love you both.

If you need to know anything else about me, you can ask Dad.

Oly, I will see you tonight.

Hey.

You don't have to say anything. I know.

TALIA: Know what?

VINCE: That I'm late and I stuffed up,

but I'm here now,

so where is my son?

It's too late. Ariel's got him.

She took him to work.

Oh, I thought they didn't let her do that.

They don't.

It's gonna be really tricky for her,

but I've got a million things to do.

Cool, I'll go grab him now and it'll be all sorted.

No, it's too late.

And don't you have work

this afternoon anyways?

Can I grab him tomorrow? Is he free?

We don't need you tomorrow, Vince. We needed you today.

Why didn't you guys call me when I wasn't here?

Just pick up your phone and call me!

Wait, no, no. Are you saying this is my fault?

No. No, no, no, it's my fault.

- Yeah. - It's all my fault.

It is.

Yeah.

OK, then, well, I'm going, then.

Sort yourself out, Vince.

BERNARDITA: Beautiful.

(BOTH SPEAK SPANISH)

But it's too expensive.

- I think... - (TABLET CHIMES)

What? What is it?

You don't like it?

No, I don't like it.

Why? (SPEAKS SPANISH)

That is perfect for Pic� del Sabor.

Where's your phone? I, uh... I need your phone.

No, don't run! It will be worse for you if you run!

(SHOUTS IN SPANISH)

Sebastian Jos� Hernandez Florez!

SEB: What?

Explain yourself.

I didn't mean to.

Didn't mean to what?

I didn't mean to send a nude to my mother's phone.

You didn't send a nude to your mum's phone.

You sent a picture of your penis to your mum's iPad

which your grandmother was using!

(STAMMERS) Full screen. High res.

Erecto!

Obviously meant for someone else.

Ah, si? And who are you sending this pornography to? Huh?

- Your girlfriend? (SCOFFS) - Yes.

My girlfriend.

And how long have you had a girlfriend?

I don't know. Like, four months now.

- Four months? - Four months.

- What's her name? - Lilliana.

Well...

Well, Lillianita, she doesn't want to see that...

...before breakfast.

It's disgusting.

I said I'm sorry.

What else do you want me to do?

No, firstly, you haven't said you are sorry, OK?

And secondly, I wanna talk to her.

I want you to bring her to the house.

- When? - Today.

Today? Alright, fine, fine.

(STAMMERS)

- Really? Yes? - Yeah.

- Today. Good. Yeah. - Alright, cool.

(ROSA SCOFFS)

What? You wanna take a picture? Take it!

I left Canada because Mum died.

You stayed because you fell in love.

I didn't fall in love.

What happened to turfing everything?

Well, what was Barbara, huh? Just good friends?

She was Mum's nurse, Mum's palliative care nurse.

Have you no shame?

I'm not gonna apologise for wanting intimacy, Dom.

I was completely alone.

Hey, you two.

DOM: Oh, legend, you're here.

Angie, how did you...

I texted her. Yeah.

I said we need moral support.

Yeah, he said he was by himself.

And there they are.

Hello, sweet moral support.

ANGIE: So, how's it going?

Oh, what are those?

They're my baby teeth. You want one?

Oh!

- (SNORTS, LAUGHS) - (EDITH CLEARS THROAT)

Turns out Mum kept everything,

even Dom's terrible art.

ANGIE: Is that a portrait of her?

That's Eddie Vedder.

(CHUCKLES) Oh, of course.

- EDITH: Uh-oh. - What?

- Oh, nothing. - Oh, what have you found?

Come on, show us.

Just my, uh, teen poetry.

Throw-away pile, obviously.

Why would she keep all this stuff?

Well, turns out you can't let go of the past

till the past is ready to let go of you.

(QUIRKY MUSIC)

What if she leaves when she sees Vince is here?

We'll just say, "Sorry,

"we thought that he had a night shift."

And when she sees how off the rails he is,

it's not like she's gonna leave.

Oly, just because Vince hooked up with someone

doesn't mean he's off the rails, OK?

He's fine. Trust me.

- SANTI: Oh. Hello. - Oh, hi.

OLY: Hi.

Um, did I hear you say Vince was fine?

- Yeah. - WOMAN: He's not.

But I fixed his dating profile,

so pretty soon, he's gonna be banging every girl

in a 10-kay radius.

Best way to get over someone is to...

...get under someone else.

Um, you're out of oat milk, by the way.

Yeah, I know Vince pretty well. He's fine.

He's not. And I don't blame him.

It sounds like his ex is a real toxic narcissist.

- She's not. - Do you wanna know what I think?

I think what's happened is, a long time ago,

he got trapped in his identity like a fly in amber

and maybe he doesn't want to be that fly anymore.

Maybe he wants to be selfish fly.

Maybe he wants to be rebellious fly

or... slut fly.

You know?

(WOMAN SIGHS)

Do you want the rest of this? I'm stuffed.

- I have to go to work. - Me too.

Oh, what's the time? I should probs head too.

I just had to wait for my ex

to get his tropical fish out of my apartment.

Can one of you give me a lift to the station?

Um...

- Yeah. - LUCINDA: Yeah.

If you give my boyfriend's T-shirt back,

- Husband. - Oh.

(SIGHS) Sure.

I'll just...

I'm just gonna give that chair a little wipe.

ANGIE: Hey.

It's funny.

You go your whole life hating your mother and then...

And then when she's gone, you realise...

(LAUGHS) Oh, my God.

Oh, my God! (LAUGHS)

(DOM LAUGHS)

Do you know what these numbers mean? Six years of my life!

- Oh. - Six years. (LAUGHS)

I'm calling Boz.

Hey, Boz, Boz, Boz!

BOWIE: Hey, Dad, I'm about to go into class.

- Can I call you back? - I've got some good news.

Nah, scrap that. I've got some great news.

- Yeah? - Get a pen, write this down.

- Ready? - OK, go.

F-D-20-21-C-1...

- It's the crypto money. - Yeah, yeah, I've got it.

- I found it, mate. - Found what?

- Well, this. This book. - Yeah, yeah.

- Yeah. - Yeah, what's...

No, listen, this book, I lent it to Mum, yeah?

She never returns it.

She moved to Canada, then dies, OK?

Ever since then,

it's been locked up in this storage until now

and I just found it.

Dad, Dad, I'm at work,

so you're really gonna have to pick up the pace.

It's the Bitcoin! The bloody Bitcoin, Boz!

Are you serious?

We're rich!

- (LAUGHS) - Rich! We're rich as thieves!

Yeah, I know! I know.

- I know. - Dad... Dad, that's really...

- Anyway, gotta go. - Dad...

Gotta go dredge up some demons

we've been spending years trying to suppress.

- Oh! - (ENDS VIDEO CALL)

This is great news! I...

EDITH: So, how much are those crypto coins on the card worth?

Oh, it depends on the markets,

but for all we know, could have gone to the moon.

Huh?

So, does this mean that you're not gonna stay

and help me with all this?

No, of course not! I'm...

I've done most of the work.

EDITH: Mm. Mm.

- Go. - You sure?

Yeah, go on. We may as well pack up.

- We've done a lot of work. - ANGIE: No, let's stay.

- We're on a roll. - EDITH: Really?

ANGIE: Yeah, let's just keep going.

OK.

Congratulations, Dom.

Oh...

- You sure? - Yes.

- Thank you. - (EDITH CHUCKLES)

'Bye.

(LAUGHS ENTHUSIASTICALLY)

Why do I have to be here? I didn't send the dick pic.

When did people start doing that? Huh?

What happened to sending flowers or a beautiful letter?

You have to talk to him about this stuff.

And if these are the kind of pictures he's sending,

what else is he doing?

Gabriel, you talk to him!

What? No. Why? I'm not his dad or his stepdad.

And this poor girl. No.

God knows what pressures he's putting on her.

- (DOOR OPENS) - (CLEARS THROAT)

SEB: Hey. This is Lilliana.

Lilliana, this is everybody.

HECTOR: Hi.

- ROSA: Hi. - GABRIEL: Hey.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

(SPEAKS SPANISH)

Seb said you love to drink, so...

(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)

How nice.

Um, would you like to join us?

No, thanks.

Um, I wanna see you room, so...

(GIGGLES)

Bernardita made alfajores, so I just thought...

Um, thank you. I'll take one of these guys for the road.

- Let's go. - OK!

(QUIRKY MUSIC)

OK, so, you really pissed that guy off.

Which guy?

How many people have you pissed off today?

Right, his baby's not gonna come here for another hour.

I don't know why he's yelling at me.

It's not gonna speed anything up, you know what I mean?

Right.

Well, he said you were swiping through dating apps

instead of looking after his wife.

(SIGHS)

- He's stressing her out. - Mm.

She's the one doing all the work.

Wait. Uh, I thought you were dating someone. Reeva.

Oh, my God, it's fine. OK?

- OK. - Everyone needs to relax.

Oh! I'm relaxed.

(GIGGLES)

But I do think you should probably start

paying more attention to what's happening right in front of you.

(BABY CRIES NEARBY)

So, you're single?

Yep.

And we've got, oh...

...a whole hour to spare.

Yeah.

Hi. I just thought that you might want some tea.

Sebastian, give us a minute.

Mum, no.

Sebastian...

(EXHALES)

Lilliana. (GIGGLES)

It's lovely to finally meet you. Hmm?

Sebastian has been keeping you a secret.

Really? That's random.

I'll over his Instagram page.

Oh, sorry, not his finsta. Like, his real Instagram.

OK.

Um...

You're young

and you are figuring out how relationships work.

And it can be challenging,

but I just want to make sure that...

...nobody's uncomfortable with anything.

Mm.

It's OK. (CHUCKLES)

I remember how teenage boys are

and they only want one thing,

so you just have to tell him...

...that you're not ready.

For what, exactly?

Sex.

We all saw that picture he sent you.

Oh, no, we do that all the time. That's, like, our thing.

The... the problem is that he won't go down on me

and that's only way I can come,

so I know it doesn't sound like a big deal,

but I've asked him to before and he won't.

OK! OK!

(GRUNTS AWKWARDLY)

Slow down! No.

You're having sex with my son. She's 15.

So am I.

No, no, no, no.

What do you mean, no?

We're not having any more

unplanned pregnancies

in his house, OK?

As if. I have an IUD.

Dios mio bendito!

Did that boy give you an IUD?!

I think you're thinking about an STI. No.

Um, there's no babies happening here, OK?

Not until I'm at least... your age.

Unless... Have you gone through menopause?

Here's the thing - I really like your son.

You've raised the sweetest, cutest guy out there, honestly.

It's just one little problem I can't get over.

Well, we've, um...

We've, um, made it worse.

(EDITH LAUGHS)

What's... what's that?

For someone who withheld love,

Mum sure had a lot of romance novels.

Oh.

- I hate throwing away books. - Well, why don't we...

Oh, we could take them to the little neighbourhood library.

You know, the community one down the street.

- Good idea. - But wait!

Before we do that...

...may I?

Oh, no, no. Nup.

The teenage diary. Yes! (LAUGHS)

(READS) "My heart sobs

"She looks at me

"I wince in pain

"She is the windmill I am the grain

"My soul cries out in agony

"I am the lighthouse She is the sea

"My heart sobs, 'Help me, please,'

"'I am the rat...'"

(BOTH LAUGH)

"'And she is the cheese.'"

Stop! Give it back! Give it back!

- It's going in the bin. - Are you a rat?

Ow.

Don't you throw that away. That's... gold.

(ANGIE SIGHS)

(BREEZY POP MUSIC)

(BREEZY POP MUSIC CONTINUES)

(BREEZY POP MUSIC CONTINUES)

- (BREEZY POP MUSIC CONTINUES) - (BOTH SPEAK INAUDIBLY)

Hey, you, wait a minute!

Where the hell were you?

I was there when I needed to be, mate.

No, you weren't. My wife was fucking crowning.

I pressed the button a million times.

- I was busy. - Yeah, I could see that.

You two really had your hands full in that storeroom!

Shouldn't you be with your wife?

You were supposed to be with my wife, helping her.

Isn't that your one job?

- Go get a lawyer and sue me. - I am a lawyer.

You know what you're gonna be pretty soon? Unemployed.

You fucked up today, mate,

and if you think we're gonna let it slide, you're an idiot.

You work for us, remember?

Hey, hey, hey! Don't listen to that guy.

- Wait. Where are you going? - I'm going home.

OK, but you...

Can you just... not, please, Van?

Fine.

(SIGHS)

- (MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY) - (HUMS ALONG)

(PHONE CHIMES)

- Oh, no. - SANTI: What's wrong?

Reema's not coming. She's got a migraine.

I didn't think Reema gets migraines.

Yeah, she doesn't.

SANTI: Well, there goes our genius romantic plan...

To have a romantic dinner with Vince.

Hey, uce. You're here early. What's doin'?

Yeah. Uh, nothing.

Vince.

(SOMBRE MUSIC)

SANTI: Hey, bro, you alright?

Yeah, bro.

SANTI: Dinner's gonna be ready in about an hour, man.

Yeah, it's all good, bro. I-I-I ate at work, yeah?

- SANTI: Are you sure? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(SOBS)

(SCREAMS)

(PANTS)

Come on.

Stop it, man. Stop!

Stop.

Stop it.

And they say every time, "You know, we want something special,

"something unique, something different for our first dance?"

And I go, "Great! How about Etta James or Nina Simone?

And then they go, "You know, we're thinking Ed Sheeran,"

every single time.

Amor...

(BOTH SPEAK SPANISH)

(SIGHS) I'm sending a text to my son

that I never thought I'd send.

Is it worse than a dick pic?

So much worse.

What are you saying to him?

(SIGHS)

I'm just explaining that

no son of mine will be a selfish partner

and then if he wants to live in my house...

...he has to go down on his girlfriend.

(ROSA TYPES SLOWLY)

Oh.

(HECTOR CHUCKLES)

- Fucking hell, man. - What's going on?

It's just, um...

Is that a fox being railed by...

- A wolf. - ...a wolf.

Yeah. See?

Oh, I can see. Why are they so, um, engorged?

Well, um, I think the idea is that they're in love.

And that wolf is paying Santi a lot of money.

All for the price of my integrity.

What's cooking? You having a dinner party?

Yeah.

- We were. - Who's coming?

- SANTI: No-one. - You!

- Oh, I am? - Yeah, you're coming.

Mwah!

- Hey, baby JJ. - Oh, hi, Dum-Dum.

- How you doing? - Good.

- Hey, um... - Wait, is this seasoning?

Did Boz tell you I found the Bitcoin card?

- SANTI: Have you seasoned it? - OLY: Uh, no.

And, uh, I mean, it's not a million bucks,

but it's not nothing either.

That's great. Can you pass that to me when you're done?

Yep.

JACINDA: They're not listening to you.

No, no, they're not. But that's fine, you know?

People often put their own personal needs ab...

Where is my favourite Moroccan wineglass?

OLY: Sorry, Dad. We're... we're worried about Vince.

- DOM: Here it is. - OLY: Is he still in his room?

SANTI: Uh, yeah, should be.

Oh, yeah, I wouldn't get involved if I was you.

I mean, I know for a fact that Angie wants Edith back

and I know for a fact that Edith wants Angie back,

but at the end of the day, not my problem.

SANTI: But if Vince and Reema are supposed to be together,

shouldn't we be helping them?

Oh, yeah, but nothing

anyone can do about that sort of stuff.

My advice - remember where you put your Bitcoin cards, hm?

And if people are meant to be together,

well, they will be together.

- Like a fox and a wolf? - (LAUGHS)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

Um, so, how long have you been in... advertising?

Marketing.

- Ah. - (CHUCKLES WEAKLY)

Marketing.

What?

You just seem - I don't know -

a bit not really here.

- You're not feeling it? - I didn't say that.

What are you saying, then?

It's just in your profile,

you seem like a nice guy.

(VINCE CHUCKLES)

I'm sorry.

Shit, I am so sorry.

Um...

Look, I thought I was ready for this kind of thing,

but I, um...

I should just...

SONG: ? I'm not great and I hate that I can't say it

? Do I fake it until the day I make it?

? Oh

? So wake me up You will see

? The paradise won't kill me

? No

? Wake me up and we'll see

? It's only a matter of time.... ?

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

? How long will it take for my silence to break?

? 'Cause it's holding me down

? While its hands cover both of my eyes

? It's only a matter of time

? I long for a day I can look at my face

? Without seeing the pain

? Try to hide all that I sacrificed

? It's only a matter of time

? It's only a matter of time... ?

? ..that I can't say it

? ..until the day I make it

? Look to me and I'll answer

? All your questions

? Don't look around or they'll know that you're distracted... ?

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