Original subtitles

[music]

Twenty-four.

Bin... No! [mumbles] One more.

He ain't got it, he ain't got it,

he ain't got it.

Sixty-nine.

Come on, Anastasia, need one more number, baby,

one more number.

What is so special about 69?

You are too much.

[balls spinning]

[thud]

Thirty-five.

You ain't got it, you ain't got it.

Bing... No. No. I need one more in a row.

-[Vinny] You ain't got it. -Come on.

What you got, what you got, what you got?

Number nine.

Bingo! [chuckles gleefully]

-What? -[Reginald] Oh, no.

-Not again. -Bingo, baby.

-Come on, come on, brother. -Not again.

You've got to get the heat out your blood

But that is over 10 wins in a row.

That is astronomically impossible

-in a game of chance. -You know what?

It is good doing business with y'all, suckers!

No, no, no, I can't believe that.

Calm down, Efe, it's okay.

-It's just a fun game. -[Efe] No!

No, not when somebody's cheating all of us.

How do you cheat in Bingo? Please enlighten me.

If anybody can do it, Vinny can.

Never heard anybody cheating at Bingo.

No, look, we play this game because it is lucky

and it is fun.

He can't be winning all the time.

No. No, no, no. I'm going to get to the bottom of all of this.

And how you propose to do that?

I haven't thought of it yet.

Vinny isn't low enough to cheat in Bingo

and steal y'all's mon...

Never mind. Yes, he is.

Yes, Vinny is that low.

Next time you question him, Efe,

I'll pay closer attention and, uh, give you my judgement.

Yes, yes, yes, you know, I have an idea

how to get to the bottom of this.

I don't like where this is going.

I do. Let's catch him.

-What's the plan. -Okay, come together.

Come, come, come. So we...

[music]

[music]

? No matter what you do I love you ?

? No matter where you go, I'm behind you for sure ?

? Always remember Blood ain't never water ?

? We'll make it if we stay together ?

Hey, my sister Anastasia.

How are you? Are you okay?

I'm fine. Thank you, Efe.

I'm just dealing with a little writer's block.

Writing has never been my strong point.

It's always been performing.

Performing is your passion.

You know, if you follow your passion,

you will never work a day in your life.

So why are you outside your passion?

Well, writing is definitely not my passion,

but we're suffering through it for this opportunity.

What opportunity are you writing for?

I have to perform an original monologue

for a feature film

that could put my career in full swing.

And if I pull this off,

I won't be able to keep the casting directors away.

Ay! That sounds fun.

The performance part, yes. The writing part, not so much.

I was trying to write all night and couldn't find any words.

So let me get this straight.

You have to write a monologue, perform it,

and then you get a job?

Yes, that's the gist of it.

Uh-uh. Your command is my wish.

It's the other way around.

No, no, I've always wanted to write a TV show,

but I was always busy.

And now you need to write a monologue

and I wish to be a Hollywood writer one day.

Okay. What ideas do you have for monologues?

I would love to hear this.

Oh, oh, okay, okay.

Supposing you've just finished being chased

by a serial killer.

A serial killer? I like where this is going.

Yes, yes, yes, but a cereal as in breakfast.

So you see, you ate all these cereal

so he's coming to murder you.

I don't know, Efe.

No, no, no, but you can use your incredible acting skills

to show that you're terrified.

Because, you know, you have to give him more cereal

and that's the way you stop him

because you have to give him the cereal.

Sorry, that's a very amateur story, Efe.

And I'm shooting for the big leagues here.

Hey, I've got stories.

Okay, supposing you just left your husband

because, you know, you've left many husbands...

Stop now, Efe.

Those stories aren't strong enough

for a Hollywood feature film.

They're very novice.

Okay, it's all right.

The person that throws the stone forgets.

The person that's hit with the stone remembers forever.

Well, I can't present those stories

and be kicked out of Hollywood forever.

But I had more to say.

I have talent, though!

I have talent.

So remember the plan and stick to it.

And we are guaranteed to catch him.

Remember, when the cattle stand together,

the lion lies down hungry.

I'm hungry too.

Have either of you eaten lunch?

I don't believe that's what the quote meant.

Maybe it doesn't, but it still doesn't mean I'm not hungry.

I'll put together some food after the Bingo game.

Yeah, Anastasia, focus, focus.

I can't focus when I'm hungry.

[chuckling] Hi, everybody.

Hi, Vincent.

Hey. I'm here to take y'all money again.

Let's get the game started.

-Let's go. Let's go. -Let's get it.

Put your money up, put your money up, boom.

First number, 17, Vinny's IQ.

[chuckles awkwardly]

Number 33.

Okay. I like that number. That's the age I like.

Number one.

Your IQ.

[Efe laughing]

[clears throat] That's not funny.

Number 43.

Okay. Come on, Anastasia. Come on. Come on now.

Number 21.

Bingo!

Oh, no. Sorry, sorry. I need one more.

Number 37.

[Vinny chuckles] Bingo!

-Again! -Ah, we caught you!

We caught you! You're a thief!

You a thief. I know what you have been doing.

Well, you know, I know what I been doing too.

I been winning.

I just needed one more number, Anastasia.

No, no, and you were probably in the lead, Reginald.

But because of the cheat, you lost.

You know what? You win some, you lose some.

But you live to play another day.

Thank you for your donation.

There was no bingo ball with the number 37 on it.

So how did you call Bingo on 37

and actually have it?

-Hm? Hm? -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

What the hell is that on the wall?

What? Hey, he's getting away.

Come back here my friend! You're a thief! You're a thief!

I don't know what I'm gonna do at this point.

The meeting is in one minute.

It'll have to be improv.

I have to get this role. [telephone ringing]

Good afternoon. It's Anastasia.

Yes. My monologue is prepared and ready to go.

You're ready for it now? Okay, sure.

What about a story relating to a cereal killer?

No, not a serial killer. A cereal killer like breakfast.

It's a different twist on cinema

and allows me to portray several different emotions.

Oh, I haven't seen something like this explored yet.

Sure. I'm ready.

Here we go.

Hey, Anastasia. Oh.

I saw you in that La Todds fast-food restaurant commercial.

You are very good in it.

Every time I watch it,

I crave their gourmet French fries.

Oh, that old thing. It was nothing.

So, uh, how was your monologue?

Well, I was gonna talk to you about that.

Eh, me? Really?

Yes, the audition went great.

Oh, very good.

So you got over your writer's block?

What did you write about?

Well, I couldn't come up with anything

and, at the last minute, spoke to them about a cereal killer.

Cereal killer?

As in breakfast?

Yes, and they love the idea.

Mm, my amateur idea for my very untalented self, eh?

Is that the one?

It turns out that it wasn't an amateur idea at all.

Eh, so that means, um, I was right

and you were wrong.

Yes, you were right and I was wrong.

You know, it is the wisdom of others

that prevents the king from being called a fool.

Do you know what I mean?

Unfortunately I do.

Very good.

Anyway, I'm very happy

my amateur ideas could be of some help.

They were, and the studio liked the idea so much,

they would like an entire episode about it.

And they asked me to write it.

But writer's block is still bothering me,

and I need your help.

Eh? I'm sorry, I didn't hear you.

You want to see my belt?

I need your help.

I can't write this episode alone.

I'm sorry, Efe. Do you forgive me?

You forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness

but because you deserve peace.

Oh, yeah. Come, let's do it. Come on.

Oh, Efe. Oh, my God! Thank you. Thank you.

Bunch of suckers, that's...

What's wrong, eh? Feeling convicted?

Oh, no, not convicted. I'm feeling, uh, conflicted.

How about that?

Conflicted about what?

I'm conflicted about all the food I'm gonna buy

with he money I won from y'all.

That's what I'm doing.

I know you a cheat. You know you a cheat.

How do you live with yourself?

I live with myself one dollar at a time.

It is better to be punished for saying the truth

than to be rewarded for telling lies.

And they also say money grows on the tree of persistency.

Ooh, well, you can travel with lies

and you might reach a destination,

but you will not be able to retrace your steps.

I don't know if you heard this one. Check this one out.

They also said money is not the key to happiness.

But if you got enough money, boom,

you can buy a key.

You know, you are a lot wiser and dumber than you look.

Oh, yeah, you are ugly

and your momma make you look in the mirror for punishment.

I know you cheated and I know how you cheated.

And I demand you pay everyone back the money you owe them.

Man, you as crazy as you look.

I don't cheat and you can't prove a damn thing.

Look, I know what you did and I know how to prevent you

from ever winning in the future.

[laughs] You know what, Efe?

I'm innocent until proven innocent.

They say all Africans are smart, but I beg to differ.

That's a dumb one.

Ooh!

[music]

We are good to get started.

You are five minutes late to our session, Efe.

Uh-uh, it takes time for genius to get ready.

You should know this.

You've never written a full script in your life.

You don't know this.

Oh, but your studio thought I was good enough

to write an episode.

I knew my love of words would one day yield fruit.

My performance also played a role

in the idea, Efe.

Oh, you would not have anything to perform to

without my genius idea.

Whatever. [Efe grumbling]

So I would like to open the show

with a close-up of the cereal box.

Then we pan slowly till you see a family eating cereal.

But they run out of milk.

They're panicked!

They have cereal, but they have no milk!

Uh, what's going on here?

Oh, Reginald, you are messing up our focus.

Eh? We are trying to write a masterpiece.

-A masterpiece? -[Efe] Yes.

About cereal? I seriously doubt that, Efe.

Actually, Efe helped me book a role

based on his idea about a monologue.

It's a long story. I'll explain it all later.

But he is actually helping me out a lot.

Oh, well, don't let me stand in your way.

I just came to get my umbrella 'cause it's gonna storm.

It was a dark and stormy night.

She lay dead in the living room.

But there were two pieces of cereal on the kitchen floor!

What is this prank you two are pulling?

Oh, is there a camera around to catch my reaction?

Hey, Reginald! We are trying to focus!

You must respect the artistry.

Oh, okay, whatever prank you two are pulling,

I'm on my way out.

I'll see you two and your cereal later.

[laughing]

Anastasia, don't mind him.

We are going to write the best episode ever.

Uh, okay, but now, eh, it was not a dark and stormy night

because the sun, it had come out.

Hello, sunshine.

So I'm going to wait. Once he comes in the door and...

[doorbell ringing] He's coming, he's coming.

[Reginald] Okay.

[Efe] So what he has been doing

is a very elaborate scheme,

which is why he's been able to get away with it.

I never heard of anybody cheating at Bingo before.

-It's all luck. -Okay.

So we have a system where the numbers

are written in the card, right?

-[Reginald] Yes. -Okay.

So he uses the same utensil

to write a number on the card

after the number has been called.

What? How is that even possible?

They're already written.

That's the key.

It is the single digits he exploits.

Explain.

Yeah, yeah, explain.

I will explain.

-Say the number 13 is called. -Mm-hmm.

He will look for a card that has number one.

And he will write the three after,

thus giving him 13.

Who the hell would do that for a game of Bingo?

You! You! I saw you do it!

I'm afraid that's a bit of a stretch, Efe.

I mean, I can't believe that someone

would actually do that for a game of Bingo.

-Wouldn't do that. -Ah.

Hey, man, I've awfully tired. I'm gonna go lie down.

You two gentlemen have a great evening.

[chuckling gleefully]

All right, all right. You got me.

[laughing] You got me, African.

How you figure that out?

I have my ways.

Well, you know, uh, ain't nobody gonna believe you.

Eh? Well, I demand that you pay everybody back

you owe in this facility.

Oh, I ain't paying back a damn thing, sucker!

Heard the whole thing and never left.

That was the plan all along.

All right, look. Okay, okay. [laughs nervously]

So, so y'all played me, huh? You played me.

The kids say, "You played yourself. Sucker!"

Okay, I tell you what? I'ma be honest.

I'ma be honest. I'm not gonna lie no more.

You know what? The last game of Bingo we played,

that's the only time I cheated.

You know that is not true.

Okay, all right. Tell you what I'ma do.

I'ma give y'all your money back

from everybody who played Bingo.

How about I do that? How about. I'ma do that.

Here you go. Uh, see.

Uh, there you go right there.

Uh, you know, whatever.

I got a game to watch. I ain't got time for this.

This is not even all the money. He has more money.

[music]

So you end on a wide shot of the cereal bowl

with rain falling into the bowl. [doorbell ringing]

Signifying change. The end.

Efe, I'm shocked.

I didn't believe it at first,

but I actually think this is gonna work!

If you want to go fast, go alone.

If you want to go far, go together.

We have arrived.

I don't think I even wanna know what's going on here.

Oh, no, I'm working on my acceptance speech

for the awards we are going to win for this episode.

So you finished the story about the cereal?

Yes, yes, we have, and I'm going to be a big star.

What's he talking about, Anastasia?

I don't know about a star,

but he helped finish a unique story.

Well, I'm sure there will be, uh...

The compensation for this will be very well worth it.

So how many millions will I be paid for this episode?

You'd have to be one of the best writers in the world

to get millions for a script.

Well, I am one of the best writers in the world.

I've never seen you write anything.

Well, they asked me to write the script as a favor

because they like the idea,

but there's no compensation for it.

What?

I did all of this for free?

Oh, no, Efe, you did it to help me secure the role.

But I thought there was going to be a generous compensation.

I'm sorry, Efe.

But I can put in a good word

and see if they can get you in an episode down the line.

Will you do that for me?

-Sure! -Okay, okay, okay!

It was a dark and stormy night in the hot Safari.

But if you look in the distance,

there, there,

it is a cereal bowl!

A bowl of cereal.

I can't believe he took money out of our pocket

and refused to give it all back.

How long have you known Vinny?

Right. I just don't understand sometimes.

[Vinny grumbling]

Sitting here, crying. Crying!

Like two little bitchas!

Two little bitchas sitting in a chair.

Okay, I'll admit it. I stole the money.

And had a good time doing it.

Would've got about $1,000 had you not cracked the case.

But I tell you what I'm gonna do.

Bitchas!

I'ma give you the rest of the money back I stole.

'Cause I don't wanna hear it no more. Here it is.

It's the rest of the money.

Wow.

Ah, Vinny, this is...

No, please do not give me another African proverb.

Please, I can't take it.

I'm up to here with African stuff.

I've had enough. "The dancing man..."

I don't wanna hear nothing

about goats or pigeons or dogs, nothing.

Do you think there is hope for that one?

[both] Nah!

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[music]

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