All language subtitles for Acting Good s03e10 Oh Ho Leh Night.eng

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Original subtitles

(birds�singing)

I'm�worried�about Paul's�Christmas�spirit.

It's�his�big�day. You'll�get�used�to�it.

He's�overdoing�it.

Paul?�Why,

I�recognize�that name�from�the�nice�list.

Ho�ho�ho!

Would�you�drop�the�act�already?

Do�you�mean�the�Indian�Act?

Ho�ho�ho!

Well,�what�else�is Santa�Claus�supposed�to�wear?

Ho,�ho,�ho.

Well,�maybe�Santa�could stop�eating�all�the�cookies

that�are�supposed�to�be for�the�party�tonight.

And�maybe�Santa

could�stop�leaving the�toilet�seat�up.

I�just�went�in�for�a�dip.

Well,�maybe�Santa�Claus has�just�been...�a�little�busy.

Ho,�ho,�ho,�ho.

Too�busy�to�flush his�Yule�logs?

(both�laughing)

Paul:�Ma!

?�Yes,�I�can�love�you,�baby�?

?�All�night�long�?

Everyone�knows�that�Santa loves�bannock�and�tea

more�than�milk�and�cookies.

While�we�wait�for him�to�touch�down,

here's�Harvey�and�the�Ho'lehs with�their�warm�festive�classic,

"I�Saw�Mama�Greasin' Santa�Claus."

(tracker�beeping)

(crowd�gasping)

Merry�Yeah,�Man,�everybody!

Kids:�Merry�Yeah,�Man!

Paul:�Ho,�ho,�ho!

Kids:�Santa�Claus!

It's�Grouse�Lake�Santa!

All�right,�everyone,�line�up�in Santa's�village�for�pictures,

and�remember, don't�kick�him�in�the�nuts.

All�right,�man,�I'm�outta�here.

Now?

Come�on,�man, I�need�your�muscle.

You�know�how�crazy these�things�get.

Oh,�man,�you'll�be�all�right.

You�got�your Christmas�goblins�here.

Don't�you�remember the�riot�of�2019?

The�elves�were the�first�one�to�turn.

All�right,�fine�then. She's�in�charge.

This�isn't�about�your stupid�dad�thing,�man.

You're�starting�to�sound like�a�little�psycho.

He's�alive!�I�know�it.

Man,�no�one�could�have�survived that�snowmobile�accident.

He�was�the�best�snowmobile jumper�of�all�time.

He�was,�and�he�sent�it.

He�sent�it�to�heaven,�bro.

You�don't�know�that.

Okay,�fine�then.

He�comes�back every�year�during�Christmas

and�leaves�you a�giant�garlic�coil

by�your�bed�while�you�sleep.

Okay�there,�guy!

Hey!�You�wanna�believe that�fat�fuck�Santa�story?

I�believe�my�dad's�out�there.

Dean�out!

Ho!�Ho!

Who's�ready�for�Santa�Claus?

-�(kids�cheering) -�Ho!�Ho!�Ho!

(kids�cheering) Kids:�Santa!

You�are�not�spending Christmas�Eve�alone.

I'm�not�alone.

Look�at�all�these�forms I�have�to�fill�out.

Ooh,�real�festive.

Go�be�with�Chickadee.

I�don't�know.

She�lives�at�Paul's attachment�now.

So�what?�The�smell's�gone.

She'll�be�there with�her�weird...

(whispering:)�... whispering�girlfriend.

Then,�just�come�to�the�Christmas party�at�the�Lodge.

And�see�Logan?�No�thanks.

Fine. Then,�I'll�stay�here�with�you.

Suit�yourself.

(exhaling�sharply)

(sighing)

Mmm...

(munching)

Mm. (munching)

(munching)

(coughing)

(sucking�teeth)

All�right,�fine!

I'll�go�to�Chickadee's!

Good�thing�I�brought�a�backup.

Jo:�Where�the�fuck did�you�get�corn?!

You�can't�be�12!

Yes,�I�am,�bro.

Damn�it!�It�checks�out!

So,�what�do�you�want for�Christmas,�man?

That's�easy. I�want�a�power�saw,�a�power�bar,

a�power�nap,�power�steering,

Power�Ranger,�Austin�Powers-

the�first�and�second�one, but�not�the�third.

Man,�just�watch�it�on�Starz.

Sure,�it's�an�additional�cost, but�you�know�what?

You�can't�put a�price�on�variety.

(tape�rewinding)

(engine�revving)

Dad:�Ho'leh!

(grunting)

Dad!�Shake�it�off,�bro!

(door�opening)

Lips:�Hey,�bro.

Agnes�wants�to�know�if you're�coming�to�the�party.

No,�man. I�don't�want�to�miss�my�dad.

Look,�I�believe in�some�pretty�weird�stuff.

Like�the�moon is�an�uninhabitable,

circular-shaped�planet. But�your�daddy's�dead,�bro.

Yeah,�so�I've�been�told.

After�he�crashed,�he�was medevacked�out�to�the�city.

Oh,�yeah?�So,�then,

why�does�every�Christmas, he�bring�me�a�garlic�coil?

Every�year�he�got�me�one.

And�him�and�I�are�the�only ones�that�know�about�it.

All�right,�say�he's�still�alive. How�are�you�gonna�catch�him?

All�I�gotta�do�is�stay�awake.

Oh,�yeah?

Yeah,�man. I've�been�up�for�three�days.

And�tonight, I've�had�some�indica�gummies,

turkey�sandwich,�and...

I�got�some�new-age�music.

Dean,�I�hate�to tell�you�this,�but...

(snoring)

(snoring)

Good�night...�sweet�prince.

(sighing�contentedly)

-�Grab�a�seat,�grab�a�seat. -�How's�my�little�birdie?

Where's�your�friend?

(whispering:) Hi,�Chickadee's�mom.�Hi.

Hi.�Hi.

Maybe�she�should call�back�later.

I�can't�just�shut�her�off.

There's�literally a�power�button�on�that�thing.

(whispering:)�Should�I�go?

Huh?�What�was�that?

(whispering:) I�said,�should�I�go?

Go.�Go...

(whispering:)�Does�she�always whisper�like�that?

(regular�voice:) Oh,�I�can�talk�normal.

Why�don't�we�just�spend�time together,�you�and�I?

It's�Christmas.

Mom,�you're�being�rude.

I�just�think�it's�weird

that�you're�spending Christmas�with�an�iPad.

Why?

What's�so�weird�about�it?

Things�seem�tense.

You�know, ASMR�can�be�very�calming.

(whispering:)�Holidays.

Holidays.

Christmas.�Christmas.

I...�just�remembered

I�have�to�do some�not-weird�stuff.

Merry�Christmas,�my�girl.

(crinkling)

I'm,�like,�so�calm�right�now.

(crinkling�continues)

Oh,�my�girl!

Hi.

Don't�even�get�me�started!

So,�I�said, "holiday�tofu�bowls."

(both�laughing)

Oh,�hey,�Jo.

Logan,�hi.

Um... How�are�you�doing?

Oh,�I'd�love�to�chat, but�I'm�here�with�my�date.

Oh.�Hey,�Chief�Jo.

Isn't�she�great? She�loves�getting�gifts.

Oh.

Let's�go,�honey.

I�want�to�hear�some�more�of�your unsolicited�health�advice.

(Logan�chuckling)

(Logan�imitating�cat,�laughing)

Man...�So,�back�to what�I�was�telling�you...

Abinoojiiyag

if�my�radar�is�correct,

Santa�is�flying�over Grouse�Lake�as�we�speak.

Presents�will�be�delivered in�every�household.

-�(tracker�beeping) -�Wait.

Santa's�sleigh looks�like�it's�crashing.

It's�going�down�as�we�speak! Oh,�the�humanity!

Breaking�news!

Santa's�sleigh�has�been grounded�in�Grouse�Lake!

This�is�one�of�the�worst catastrophes�in�the�world!

I�repeat,�Santa's�sleigh has�been�grounded!

(alarm�blaring)

You're�the�best�Santa this�side�of�Opipon-apiwin.

Ho�ho�ho!

-�(door�opening,�closing) -�Gramps:�Santa's�here!

Somebody�shot�one of�his�reindeer�down!

Santa?�For�real?

Santa:�Ho�ho�ho! (chuckling)

-�Hi,�children! -�Kids:�Santa!

Merry�Christmas!

Don't�you�do�it!

This�is�my�day�to become�Santa�Claus.

Whoa,�children. Now,�who's�been�naughty?

And�if�you're�just joining�us�right�now,

Santa�is�grounded right�here�in�Grouse�Lake.

And�with�me�right�now is�Gramps�McKay-

an�eyewitness�first on�the�scene.

Look,�I�know�there's�a�lot�of

fingers�pointing at�me�right�now,

but�if�I�did�shoot down�Santa's�reindeer,

it's�because of�my�treaty�rights.

You�heard�it�right�here,�kids.

Santa�is�grounded in�Grouse�Lake.

And�without�enough�pull,

I'm�afraid�Christmas for�all�of�you�in�the�North

hangs�in�the�balance.

Ahh...

And�a�special�shout-out to�all�the�white�kids

who�got�their�presents�first. Must�be�nice.

(Roger�clicking�tongue)

Not�so�fast,�bro.

Shit! (sighing)

Dean:�Dad!

Yeah,�man.

Wow!

Is�that�from�the�accident?

Yeah,�man.

Oh.�Watch�it!

Whoa,�Dad.�Are�you�okay?

You�can't�see�me�like�this.

No,�no,�no,�Dad!�Stay.

Please,�I...

I... I�have�so�many�questions.

Like...

Like�here.

Here's�the�first�one.

Uh,�where�have�you�been?

(sighing) Uh,�after�the�crash,

I�just�couldn't... I�couldn't�face�you.

I�was�your�hero.

You�are�my�hero.

I'm�no�hero.

I'm�some�kind�of�freak.

Look�at�me.

I'm�dripping�oil.

I�would�rather�have�a�dad that's�half-snowmobile

than�a�dad�that's�full-gone.

Oh,�I�love�you,�son.

Uh... (stammering)

You�can�just�put�'er�there.

Oh.

You�want�some more�tofu,�my�date?

Mmm...�You�know�how�much I�love�riboflavin.

Oh,�yeah.

Mmm.

Oh,�hey�Jo. Didn't�see�you�there.

As�if.

Are�you�here�on�your�own�or...

No.

I,�uh,�came�with�a�date.

He's,�uh,�right�here.

Oh,�hey,�I'm�Paul.

-�Jo:�Eww.�Really? -�That's�so�funny.

Jo's�brother's�name�is�Paul.

You�even�look�like�him,�too.

He�does�not.

He�does.

Your�date�looks just�like�your�brother.

Urgh.

Ooh,�lucky�girl.

Oh,�fuck�off.

He's�even�got�the�sweater and�everything.

(chuckling)

And�you�would�like�a�toy�car?

Consider�your�request�granted.

Hey,�kid! Toy�cars�are�nice�and�all,

but�how�about�I�give�you a�real�car?�Ho,�ho,�ho!

Wow,�a�real�car!

Mm-hmm.

Uh,�hey,�your�car�keys, cough�'em�up!

Come�on,�I'm�Santa�Claus! (chuckling)

(chuckling) Why,�here�you�go,

my�sweet�child.

Ho,�ho,�ho.

Giving�a�child an�adult-sized�car,

that's�a�little�naughty.

Buzzkill.

Ho,�ho,�ho. Santa�needs�a�little�break�here

to�stretch�out�his�legs.

Yeah,�kids.�Give�Santa�a�rest,

seeing�how�he's so�old�and�brittle!

You�better�back�off.

You�better�back�off!

You're�nothing but�a�white�man�in�a�red�suit.

You're�a�spoiled�little�baby who�cleans�his�ass�in�the�sink.

-�How�did�you�know�about�that? -�(door�opening,�closing)

Hey,�look�everyone. It's�my�dad.

Holy�shit,�Dean. You�were�right.

Come�on�in,�Dad. Santa's�here�and�everything.

Now,�make�him�comfortable. He's�been�away�for�a�while.

Hey,�mister,�what's�that?

Oh,�shit!

Ho'leh.

Dean: Don't�look�at�him�like�that!

I�knew�I�shouldn't have�come�here.�I�knew�it!

Nothing�but�a�freak!

Do�you�want�me�to hang�on�to�your�purse?

No.�Why?

Because�that's�what gentlemen�do�on�first�dates.

Jo,�can�we�talk�to�you?

Uh-huh.

Ooh,�that�date�of�yours

does�really�kind�of look�like�Paul.

Is�it�weird�that I'm�kind�of�jealous?

Is�it�weird�that I�want�to�clip�his�toenails?

I'm�not�dating�the�guy.

I�just�used�him to�make�Logan�jealous.

By�dating�a�guy that�looks�like�Paul.

Okay,�guy.

Hey,�Jo,�can�we�talk?

Ugh.�Look,�I'm�not�really dating�that�guy,�okay?

You�happy?

That's�what�I�wanted�to�say.

Hey,�Jo, is�this�guy�bothering�you?

No,�it's�fine.

-�Oh,�my�God,�my�water�broke! -�What?!�I'll�go�get�Paul!

I'm�right�here.

No,�the�other�one.

No,�but�I'm�a�nurse.

I'd�really�prefer�a�doctor.

What's�up,�Santa?

Isn't�it�past�your�bedtime?

Watch�it,�kid.

No,�seriously. You've�been�80�my�whole�life.

Were�you�born�old?

Last�warning,�buddy.

For�real,�man, when�are�you�gonna�die?

That's�it!

I�haven't�knocked�someone�out

since�I�ran�into�John�A. McDonald�at�a�bar�in�Moncton.

Stephen�Harper:�Paul!�Paul!

Rose�is�about to�have�her�baby!

-�What?! -�Yeah!

-�Now? -�Yeah!

God!�Yah!

Coward!

I�don't�know�what�to�tell�you.

The�clock�is�ticking

and�Santa's�back-up�reindeer still�hasn't�shown�up.

We�need�all�the�Christmas�spirit we�can�get.

It's�not�over�yet, but�time�is�running�out.

Who�will�be�the�Christmas�hero?

Dad,�there�you�are.

I�thought�maybe�you�left�again.

Oh,�I�started�to. I�got�halfway�into�the�bush

before�I�turned around�and�came�back.

I�love�you,�bro. I�mean,�bro-Dad.

Hey,�look.

One�of�your�old�snowmobiles. I�saved�it.

Oh,�that's�nice,�son.

But�the�only�reason I�stayed�this�time

was�to�give�you a�proper�goodbye.

No,�Dad,�no. You�can't,�not�again.

Oh,�look,�Dean,�I�love�you more�than�garlic�coil,

but�this�world�ain't built�for�a�freak�like�me.

Oh,�that's�okay,�Dad. It's�2024.

We�accept�everyone�now.

Oh,�that's�nice, but�I�gotta�go.

Hey,�here, why�don't�you�prime�me�up?

Not�too�much�though. I�don't�want�to�flood.

Okay,�sure.

Ho'leh.�You�are�alive.

Told�you,�bro.

We'll�get�to�this�later.

Santa's�reindeer still�hasn't�shown�up.

If�we�don't�find�someone�soon,

the�kids�up�north won't�get�their�presents.

Wait,�Dad,�you�can�take Santa�in�your�snowmobile.

No�way!�Last�time I�got�on�one�of�those�things,

I�let�you�down.

Yeah,�but�this�time you�can�let�me�up.

What?

Yeah.

You�can�be�the�hero�that�I�know that�you�are�and�save�the�day.

But�how�are�we�going�to get�that�thing�in�the�sky?

I�have�an�idea.

All�right,�Rose. Give�me�a�deep�breath�in.

-�(inhaling�sharply) -�And�push,�okay?�Push.

(growling) I�am!

I'm�right�here!

-�(grunting) -�Oh!

Where�were�you?

Don't�worry�about�it, babe.�Keep�going.

Keep�pushing.

All�right,�Rose, you're�doing�so�good.

Give�me�one�more�push,�okay?

Come�on,�push, just�like�we�practiced,�babe!

-�(groaning) -�Logan:�Almost�there.

Now,�give�me�a�push.

Wait.�Could�you�guys turn�around�or�something?

-�Not�you! -�Oh.�Okay.

(groaning) Okay.

(both�straining)

Logan: Come�on,�come�on!�You�got�this!

-�(groaning) -�Oh!

-�(baby�crying) -�Babe,�there�it�is!�You�did�it!

-�(baby�crying) -�Logan:�It's�a�boy!

Rose:�It's�a�boy!

Okay,�Ma, you�can�turn�around�now.

Look�at�your�grandson.

A�boy.

Little�Paultholomew�Jr.

Oh,�this�is the�greatest�day�of�my�life.

Shut�the�hell�up, Stephen�Harper!

I'm�sorry,�I'm�sorry.

Good�job,�nurse.

You�just�made�me�an�auntie.

So...�what�did�you�want to�say�to�me�earlier?

Oh.�Just�that�I...

I�lied�about�my�date.

So,�you're�not�with�her?

No.

I�just�wanted�you�to�want�me.

Me? You�must�really�like�me,�eh?

Yeah.

I�do.

You're�not�so�bad�yourself.

Santa:�Ho,�ho,�ho'leh!

Look,�Santa's�outside.

And�Dean's�dad's gonna�save�Christmas.

Huh?

Come�on,�Dad,�you�can�do�this.

I�don't�know,�son.

(sighing) Okay,�if�you�don't�believe�me,

then�maybe you�can�believe�Santa.

The�children�of�the�North are�counting�on�you.

All�you�have�to�do�is�believe.

And�when I�woke�up�three�days�ago,

I�didn't�think I'd�ever�see�you�again.

But�I�still�believed you�were�alive.

And�you�know�what? I�believe�in�you.

I�always�have.

And�I�didn't�believe�that I�would�become�a�father.

What�do�you�say,�bro-Dad?

You�know�what�I�say?

Yeah,�man!

-�Yeah!�Yes!�All�right! -�(all�laughing)

(dogs�barking)

(gasping)

-�(engine�rumbling) -�I�love�you,�Dad.

Let's�fok'n�go,�fok!

-�(engine�revving) -�(dogs�barking)

Roger:�Grouse�Lake, Pauingassi,�Island�Lake,

Poplar�River, Tadoule�Lake,�Opaskwayak,

Chemawawin,�Oxford�House,

Shamattawa,�and�Brochet...

Dean�Sr.:�A�merry�yeah,�man,�to all�and�to�all�a�good�night!

And�precious!

A�little�angel.

(whispering:)�Aww... He's�so�cute.

It's�a�miracle.

He�sure�is.

Are�you�sure�you're�okay?

Yeah,�I�feel�great,�actually.

Why?

Why? That's�a�big�fucking�head,�man.

Dada.

Dada?

(woman�singing�"Silent�Night" in�Anishinaabemowin)

?

(woman�continues�singing�"Silent Night"�in�Anishinaabemowin)

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