Original subtitles

(upbeat music)

♪ See the lady in the street car light ♪

♪ Color a la Toulouse ♪

♪ Television and the red, red wine ♪

♪ So won't you tell me ♪

♪ Won't you tell me the truth ♪

♪ Are you old enough ♪

♪ And I'm thinkin' 'bout my baby ♪

♪ Are you old enough ♪

♪ Are you old enough ♪

♪ Ooo ooo ♪

♪ Are you old enough ♪

♪ Ooo ♪

♪ Are you old enough ♪

♪ Are you old enough ♪

♪ Are you old enough ♪

♪ Are you old enough ♪

♪ Are you old enough ♪

(ethereal music)

(water lapping)

(horse chuffing)

(squealing)

- Oh Leah, I think a squid grabbed my legs.

- You do have good legs.

- Oy.

- But then they find out that all the English

had been killed so Caesar adopts him

and he becomes a servant for the crown prince

where he meets and becomes friends with

a neglected princess.

- Why would a princess be neglected?

- Sue!

(horse chuffing)

(hooves pounding)

Shit.

- You been practicing for a tampon ad?

You've been riding all day.

- Rack off or I'll tear your hair out

and strangle your stupid face with it.

- Cheryl.

You're up the duff, aren't you?

Trying to get rid of it.

- Whose is it?

As in "I'm such a slut I don't know" or "I won't tell"?

- Just rack off, will you?

- You OK?

- I need 85 bucks to do it proper.

- Shit.

That's a lot.

- Yeah, I know.

- We'll help you, won't we?

- Oh, Rog, Japan is so beautiful.

Cherry blossom trees!

Oh!

- How's Lori going?

- Happy, yeah!

She's going out with some guy from the British Embassy.

He seemed like a bit of a poof to me,

but it might just be the accent.

- You bought a lot of stuff.

- Oh, yeah, extra suitcase, I bought so much.

It is so cheap, Japan.

- What?

So, Pammy, it's 262 yen to the dollar.

How much was the sake?

- 26,000 yen.

- It's 100 bucks.

- No, that's not right!

Well, it's 25 yen to the dollar and the two zeros,

they're just like Japanese cents, you just ignore those.

- Oh, no.

- Yeah, it was strange,

'cause Lori kept on complaining how much things were,

and I just, bloody hell!

(laughing)

- How much was the camera?

- 68,000 yen.

- And that cat?

- Oh, 12,000.

But there's 10 of those.

- [Roger] 10?

- Yeah, they look better in a flock.

- A flock?

- Look, you're a big shot ad guy and we can afford it.

Yeah?

Hush now. (upbeat electronic music)

- Hey.

I told you I wouldn't.

And I won't.

So stop checking.

- Thank you.

♪ If you cry an anxious tear ♪

♪ As the XU-1 connects the spot ♪

♪ But the matrix grid don't care ♪

♪ Got a message to my mother ♪

♪ What number would she be ♪

♪ There's a million angry citizens ♪

♪ Looking down their tubes at me ♪

♪ Computer games ♪

- So my system is a simple one.

You only back favorites and double your bet each race.

Unless you win, in which case you let your winnings ride.

But either way,

probability comes into play and winning is assured.

- I don't think winning is ever assured, David.

- They've stopped talking, Dad.

Should I check what's going on?

- David, don't.

Quick look.

♪ No perfect persons ever noticed one computer die ♪

♪ I'm programmed to a schedule ♪

♪ What will the answer be ♪

- They're pashing!

- Debbie! - David, you little shit!

- Language, Debbie!

- Such a dobber!

Just keep talking.

So, anyway, Mrs. Hegarty was so weird today.

- Why?

- I don't know.

She just kept going on and on about the Paleolithic Era.

- Oh I see.

- She was talking about cavemen and cave women.

How they'd knock their women on the head

and drag them into the cave.

(grunting)

I know, it seems completely...

- They're still talking, let them be.

- But we had control over the fire and therefore

life itself.

Mum!

- Oh, fuck.

- Hello!

- Hello!

- Hello, Gary.

- Mrs. Vickers.

- I am just so proud.

- Mum, enough.

- I agree, enough!

I get good marks too.

- It's tremendous, sweetheart.

Let your parents be proud.

- You could get a full scholarship at SCEGGS

or All Saints with these marks.

- In the city?

- I'm just saying, that's how impressive it is.

- Well, good.

Because we're all well aware of our commitment

to public school education, aren't we?

- Mmm, course.

- I'll clear the plates.

- Gary, what are you gonna do next year?

- Um I'm trying to just take it a day at a time,

see what I feel like doing when I get there.

- Not really a plan, is it?

- He's an amazing surfer.

- It's not really a job, though, is it?

- [Martin] University?

- I dunno.

- Can you not interrogate him?

- I think Gary understands why we have to.

- Um I gotta go.

Thanks for tea.

- Any time, Gary.

- Night, Gary.

(scoffing)

- [Debbie] So embarrassing!

- I like you

because your hands are strong.

And I like them when they're on me.

- I like you because when you get excited,

you're funny without realizing it.

- Is is that a compliment?

Graham said, remember, only positive things.

- It is positive.

- Do you think I'm a snob?

- No.

You just have high standards.

- I do think I'm a bit better than other people.

- That's arrogance, not snobbery.

- Yeah, true.

Thanks!

(upbeat instrumental music)

(bell ringing)

- So be careful with this stuff.

It's acid, essentially.

- Ooo!

- Not that kind, Mr. Reeves.

But drink away, if you like.

- OK, three qualities you want in a guy.

- OK.

A spunk.

Kind.

Smart, funny.

And he doesn't try to dack me and root me

half an hour after he meets me.

- You are picky!

- Let's come up with a quiz.

Three questions and you'll be able to tell.

- Any luck with the dosh?

- No.

- Sorry.

According to my dad, my mum just spent all our money.

- Shit!

Ah, crap!

- Put it under the tap.

You're a bloody idiot!

- I told him I was gonna do it.

How many?

(cane cracking)

Put your back into it, sir.

(klaxon wailing)

That's the alarm, sir!

- [Boy] Bomb scare!

- [Boy] Hilton, Hilton!

- Jesus, assemble outside.

In an orderly fashion!

(screaming)

You wait.

Put my back into that one.

How was it?

- [Girl] Free period!

- Numero uno.

There are two puppies in a box, a black one and a white one.

Which do you save?

- Both, they're in a box.

- Trick question.

Basic intelligence.

- Danny would have failed it.

- Exactly.

- Hey, what are we doing?

- We're not doing anything.

- Cool.

- Gary.

- You want a smoke?

- There are teachers everywhere, Frieda.

- Yeah.

Right.

- You think it'll blow up?

- Has it blown up the other 30 times?

You're very confident in your own mortality, Sue, no?

This could be the one,

this could be the last minute before you die.

How would you like to spend it?

- Not talking to you, Woody.

- It's not gonna blow up.

- How can you be so sure?

- 'Cause I called it in.

It's my hoax.

Sometimes we need a break from the intense boredom,

you know?

- Yes.

- Then the car has these wings.

It kinda takes off

with streams of violent flames coming out.

- But hang on, if it's got a flame, why would it need wings?

- Well all right.

Just wings.

Wings are good.

People do love flames, though.

- I don't know, mate.

- What don't you know?

- I don't know why you're bringing me such shit ideas.

(both laughing)

I'm serious.

Piss off.

Do something good.

- Yeah.

No, look, early days.

Just warming up.

- I like the idea of like a woman.

(men laughing)

(serene music)

(coughing)

- How hot's the water supposed to be?

- Dunno.

Hot.

- Will it work?

- My cousin Jill does it all the time.

- Are you gonna bleed?

- Yuck.

- Piss off, then.

What if when it comes out, it looks like Danny?

- (scoffing) That's sick.

Is it Danny's?

- No.

Make it hotter.

- On "Dallas", one of the women loses a baby

when JR pushes her down the stairs.

I'm happy to push you down the stairs.

- Me too.

- Something's happening.

- Is that good?

- I'm gonna spew!

(screaming and yelling)

♪ What color is God's skin ♪

♪ What color is God's skin ♪

♪ Is it black, brown, yellow ♪

♪ Is it red and white ♪

♪ Ev'ry man's the same in the good Lord's sight ♪

- Think it worked?

- No, I think I just got hot and drunk.

- We'll get the money.

- We've got 17.40.

- Hi, all.

- Hi, I'm Vicki.

- Hi, Vicki.

- I'm Nathan.

Nathan Senior.

You can call me Nat.

He needs a lie-down.

(laughs) Cheeky!

- [Debbie] How long's he been back for?

- Too long.

(child crying)

- Look how beautiful the buildings are!

And music classes.

They have a school orchestra that went to Vienna.

And played!

- You're actually serious about this?

- Well, an opportunity for her

that's hard to ignore, Martin.

She's just not challenged here.

Other than to stay out of trouble,

which Sue Knight is constantly leading her into.

- Sue's a good kid.

- If she is challenged, I know her, she'll respond.

- Isn't that place a boarding school?

- Yes, but it's in town.

She'd be home on the weekends.

And you shouldn't be eavesdropping!

- Can I turn her room into an aviary when she leaves?

- Birds?

- Bees.

- Apiary.

No.

(contemplative music)

- So just quiet your mind.

Watch gently the thoughts and feelings you're having

the theelings, as I call them.

Now just hold in your mind

the image of a simple porcelain cup.

What's inside?

Pour it out.

- Fuck me.

(jazzy piano music)

- [Pam] They don't cook it?

- Fair dinkum?

- Yeah, true.

You've just gotta open your mind, Sue, and try it.

It was absolutely delicious.

They used salmon, of course,

but flathead should be good too.

♪ You're my little lady ♪

♪ I'm your little lady ♪

(retching)

- All right. (squealing)

Can we put some normal bloody clothes on?

What are we, bloody Japanese now?

Bloody spit on me!

(retching)

- What's his problem?

- Debbie, can you come here, please?

I wanna have a little chat.

- I'm on the phone!

So, do you think you can try and get that money?

- Yeah, I will.

Who is it?

- It's Cheryl.

Scared, were you?

- A bit.

- Anyway, I reckon the dad is little Nathan's dad.

Her mum's boyfriend.

- Shit.

What a dog.

- Yeah, I know.

But you can't tell anyone, all right?

Poor Cheryl.

I never thought I'd feel sorry for her,

but an abortion's just.

What are you doing?

- Nothing.

- Debbie, come on!

- Hey, I gotta go.

My brother's acting like a spaz.

- All right.

Bye.

- Bye.

- What's an abortion?

- What?

- Oh, are they those poodle dogs?

If Cheryl needs money for one, I'd love to contribute.

- [Judy] Debdebs!

Come on!

- So, uh, what are you measuring for?

- I wanna be ready with a plan to present to Mum and Dad

for when you go.

- Go where?

- Um, that I can't divulge.

But fresh honey each morning

is something they're gonna enjoy.

- What does David mean, I'm leaving?

He's such a little...

- No.

- Debbie just... - No.

- Deb come here. - No!

Mum, I'm not I...

- Just, just sit and look at them with me.

They are so great!

- I don't want to go.

- You haven't even looked.

The standard of education is like...

- I can't believe it.

You're such a snob!

- (scoffing) Don't be ridiculous.

- You think they're better than us.

- I do not.

I work at a public school.

I always have, Debbie.

So I know the deficiencies.

- Is this about Sue and Gary?

- They're high school friends.

They don't last.

- Yeah, well, not for you!

You don't really have friends, do you?

I'm not even sure Dad likes you.

Just see what you do?

You make me,

just please don't talk about this again, all right?

- We're your parents, Debbie.

We will decide where you go to school.

- Then decide where to bury me,

because I will kill myself rather than go to a school

where I have to wear a straw hat.

(upbeat rock music)

(knocking)

- [Yvonne] Dinner's in 10 minutes, love.

Everyone's gone.

- Great. ♪ You're journey's on ♪

- Graham's making kai si ming.

It's Korean kind of mince with cabbage.

- I thought you said everyone was gone.

- Gary, come on.

Be nice.

He's, he's a very funny man.

You'll like him a lot.

- No, I've got homework.

I've got a big assignment for school.

Just bring me down a bowl, OK?

- OK.

Homework it is.

Just give him a chance, though.

- I will.

- Thank you.

Oh, and, um I need 60 bucks for an excursion.

- And where are you going?

Europe? ♪ What can I do ♪

♪ What can I do ♪

♪ When I remember my time with you ♪

(coughing)

(birds calling)

(waves crashing)

- Morning, sweetheart.

(grumbling)

So, this school thing.

- Don't even try, Dad.

Mum's just doing this 'cause she hates me

and she hates Sue

and she hates that I have fun and she doesn't.

- Slow down with all the hates, OK?

Don't make this about your mum.

- It is about Mum, the fact that she hates Sue.

- No, this is about you.

You need to see past us and ask yourself what you want.

- Yeah, exactly.

And I wanna stay here.

I'm very serious.

- Life is serious.

Promise you'll think about it?

- I will.

But only if you help me show Mum that Sue's great.

- Morning.

Should be a good swell this morning, easterly like this.

- Yeah.

- Hey, look, um I know you feel a bit threatened

and confused with your mum taking a lover.

But this is real, and we both have to get with it,

be friends.

- Mate, put your fucking dick away and fuck off.

- You got that out?

- Good, let's talk.

- Morning, my men.

Who wants eggs?

I woke up feeling like eggs.

- Oh, eggs would be great, Vonnie.

- Oh, the sun is so big and shiny!

I don't remember seeing a sun that big before.

Did you see it, Gary?

- Yeah, I did, Mum.

- I'll give you your $60.

- You gonna stay for eggs, Gary?

- Looks like my dentist.

- It's not what I thought it'd look like.

- I wonder where they put them.

After.

- Oh, please don't wonder that.

- Apparently sometimes they come out and they have eyes,

or they're smiling at you and you never get over it.

- Shut up, dumb moll!

- Don't knock me, frigid bitch.

- It's not knocking when it's true.

- Hope she's all right.

- I'd have the kid.

I love kids.

- Should we get some chips while we wait?

- Oh.

Oh, hi, girls.

- Hello, Mrs. Knight.

Oh, are you OK?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, no, she just ate these prawns down at Harry's

and she's been sick ever since.

- Oh, poor thing.

Lie down and get her a bucket.

- [Debbie] Come on!

- Can we have cordial?

- Yes, darling, I'll bring you some.

(contemplative music)

- Poor bitch.

Bet she thinks about it all the time now.

I know I would.

- I wouldn't.

I wouldn't think about it ever again.

Make myself think I dreamt it.

- Promise each other that'll never happen to us.

- I promise.

- Mum wants to send me to boarding school.

- What?

- Don't worry, I went spac at her.

- You can't leave.

- Yeah, I know.

I won't.

Dad's gonna help.

- [Roger] Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

- Hey, what's with all the swearing?

The girls are next door.

- I can't do it.

I should have never left our own place.

I'm spending, I'm spending two hours a day in the car.

And they hate everything I bring...

- Oh, they don't.

- Lately, they do.

- All right.

Now, Roger, you repeat after me.

I'm bloody good at this.

Come on.

- I'm bloody good at this.

- Yes.

I'm a man who can handle anything.

- I'm a man who can handle anything.

- And I'll root my wife when I feel like I'm going troppo.

- Seriously, Pam!

- Roger!

You're brilliant!

You just gotta trust yourself, OK?

- I think I hate it there.

- Then quit.

- Have you seen the size of our Bankcard bill?

- Oh, yeah, sorry about that.

Maybe I should have paid more attention in maths

instead of giving you a handie under the desk.

(laughing)

- What, that's it!

- I swear, he picked seven winners.

- David shouldn't be picking winners, Martin.

He should be reading.

- I know, I'm just saying it's impressive, just maths-wise.

He said he would have won $729.

- What?

- Bloody hell.

- Is she with Graham?

- Um this is...

- They're coming.

- He knows all about our marriage and us and.

- Hi.

- Hi!

- Hi.

I'm Graham.

- Martin Vickers.

- Judy.

- I'm gonna get a drink.

I'll be back.

I might check on David first, though.

- Oh, how thoughtful of you.

(upbeat rock music)

- Do you believe this?

- Fuck off, Stray!

- Such a moll.

Dumb moll.

You know where we have to go?

Byron Bay.

They have these moon dances out in the fields

under a full moon.

Just dancing and being.

- Let's do it! - Let's do it!

- [Man] She's pissed, eh?

- [Man] Stupid moll.

Stupid drunk moll.

- She's so pissed. - Do we help her?

- You know we do.

- Listen, I know things have been awkward

between our families, but...

- You mean since Jude got up on her high horse

and trotted up and down my lawn

implying my daughter was a drunken tart

and my good wife, Pam, an idiot mother?

- Yes.

Don't worry about it, mate. - You know.

- I don't hold a grudge.

- Oh, good.

Good.

- It was just a very, very magical night.

We just went to a film and then we walked home,

and Graham started singing this silly little song, and...

(Graham humming)

- And how are you, Judy?

- I'm fine, Graham.

I'm great.

Very good, thank you.

- And Gary and Debbie seem very lovebirds.

- Yes, don't they, yes.

- Do you think they have sex?

- No.

- I don't think so.

I think that he would tell me.

- I didn't mean to throw a grenade.

Just musing.

Teenage hormones can get out of hand, that's all.

(surf crashing)

- He's definitely following us.

- Following me, you mean.

- Exactly.

You should ask him the questions.

- Woody?

I already know the answers when it comes to Woody.

- If you're gonna have a closed mind,

you're never gonna open your legs.

- Woody! - My God.

- Oh, hi.

Didn't see you guys there.

- Right.

Sue has three questions she'd like to ask you.

Sue?

- OK, here goes.

You've got a white puppy and a black puppy in a box.

Which puppy do you rescue?

- Both.

They're in a box, why would you just save one?

- Because you're dumb.

So correct.

- Do I win something if I get these right?

- Maybe.

- Debbie!

OK, question two.

Imagine me in a bikini.

Which part of my tremendous body do you imagine first?

- It's embarrassing.

I know I should say your boobs, but your eyes.

I always, your eyes are nice.

- OK, you can go.

- No, there's one more question.

Now, Woody, if I came to your house

in the middle of the night

wet and shivering, would you A, make me cocoa,

B, wrap me in a blanket and call my parents,

or C, have sex with me?

- Cocoa?

- Buh-bow!

You lost, Woody.

- Which is it?

- All of the above.

- You didn't offer that as an option.

- He was close.

- I think we need to think like the best

in order to be the best.

I've been studying what the market's responding to.

I've put together some ideas

with some storyboards to illustrate.

But first, let me show you this videotape.

I think you'll find it inspiring.

- I've really gotta piss, mate.

- No.

- Jesus.

♪ For kids ♪

♪ Such a lot you can share with kids ♪

- [Larry] No.

♪ It's important to care for kids ♪

♪ Oh kids ♪

♪ With the stars in their eyes ♪

♪ There's so much to be learning ♪

♪ Kids ♪

♪ You can help them to rise and keep the new world turning ♪

- No way.

♪ It's important ♪

(splashing)

- Uh, what what's that sound?

(sighing)

♪ Let the Midnight Special ♪

♪ Shine a light on me ♪

♪ Let the Midnight Special ♪

♪ Shine it's ever-loving light on me ♪

(siren wailing)

♪ Let the Midnight Special ♪

- Oh, hello, then.

Oh, for the love of it!

♪ Let the Midnight Special ♪

♪ Shine an ever-lovin' light ♪

- [Roger] And they're off!

This way.

- I forgot to tell you, I invited the Knights over for tea.

- You did what?

- I saw Roger at the club.

It just naturally happened.

- Tonight?

- I think it'll be fun.

- I'm not sure I'm ready to be friends.

- Well, maybe...

- [David] They're here!

- Hi, Mr. Vickers.

Hi, Mrs. Vickers.

- Pam, welcome.

- Konichiwa.

- G'day, mate.

- Oh Judy!

Hello.

- Hi. - How you going?

- Hello.

(sighing)

- Drinks?

- Yeah, I'll give you a hand.

- Oh, how's work, Roger, in town?

- Oh, I resigned.

- Gee, that's a big decision.

- Oh, well, he doesn't shirk away from the big decisions,

do you, Roger?

No, he acts.

Don't you?

- Yeah, that's right.

Did you give them the sake?

- Sake?

- Sake.

It's from Tokyo.

It's a rice wine.

I've just got back from there.

Amazing.

- $1.27 in every glass.

- Oh!

Let's have some sake!

- [Debbie] Pack of Slims.

- And a beer.

- And some PK to cover the smell.

- Ready?

What's gonna happen?

- Something, apparently.

♪ And slightly bent now ♪

♪ Yes he knows he's running deep inside ♪

♪ Cause he's just one of those lonely hearted ♪

♪ Dressed up in their pride ♪

♪ And he says that love can be such a funny thing ♪

♪ Love can make you feel so cold now ♪

♪ Isn't it from ♪

- You have to make Mum love you tonight.

♪ And he knows he's growing old now ♪

- I really like your hair like that.

- Oh, thank you.

I'd like your opinion on,

tertiary institutions, actually.

- Right.

So, what are you interested in?

- Well, I got an A for art.

- Miss Ainsley says she's a genius.

- [Pam] Oh, yeah, she's brilliant.

- She's got her dad's talent, that's for sure.

- Oh, well, maybe she'll be unemployed too one day.

(laughing)

- [Pam] You know, I have not heard him laugh for three days.

Well done.

- Well, Sue, it's great to hear you're doing well.

- I remember in primary school,

every Friday lunch, you would come in to me

and give me a lovely little drawing.

- And you'd give me a Mintie.

- That's right, you remember.

- Course I do!

Loved you so much.

You were the best teacher.

And you'd always make these funny announcements.

We'd crack up.

- You were very cute, you two.

- It's weird when your thoughts seem super-fast,

but that bat that just flew by seemed...

- Like it was in slow motion?

- Yeah.

(imitates dramatic music)

(both giggling)

I assume Gary talks about me to his friends

pretty much all the time.

Do you think he does?

- Well he should.

- He better.

(giggling)

- Oh, it'd have been nice to have a friend like that.

- Yeah.

It's lovely.

- Does Sue have a boyfriend?

I mean, I haven't heard anything.

- Oh, I don't think so.

I think Danny Dixon turned her off boys for a while.

- I'm not surprised.

- Did you see Yvonne at the club?

- With Graham!

I know!

- Oh, you know him?

- Uh, no.

Well, I met him the other night.

Those girls are lookin' cold out there.

I'm gonna get them a jacket.

(contemplative music)

(gasping)

(honking)

- What a great evening.

- Yeah.

Thanks, Dad.

Thanks for inviting them.

- David, go in and straight to bed, please.

- What?

- Get to bed.

Now.

- I swear to you, Mum, it wasn't me.

I just got the money together for a friend who got pregnant.

- Have you had sex with Gary?

- No!

- No lies, Debbie.

Shit.

Shit!

- Martin, calm down.

- Oh, God, it's not a terrible thing.

We love each other.

It's entirely normal.

Well, to ordinary humans with blood in their veins,

it's normal, but you, of course,

are a bloodless ghost who can't bear the thought of anyone

having a life or feeling anything.

You should have stopped this, Judy.

Now she's... - A what, a slut?

You two don't know anything about me.

- OK, so you do have sex with Gary, but this was not you.

Is that what you're trying to tell me?

- Yes.

I promise you, Mum, I was just trying to help a friend.

- I suppose we can guess who that was.

- Are you kidding me?

It wasn't Sue!

What is wrong with you?

Why do you hate her so much?

- Enough.

We need to talk about what's going to happen now.

- I think we all know what's gonna happen now.

(waves rumbling) (melancholy music)

- What are you doing here?

What's wrong?

- I'm going.

- Where?

(sobbing)

(ethereal music)