All language subtitles for The Three Musketeers (2011) (NetNaija.xyz)

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ATHOS: It is the dawn
of the 17th century.

After the assassination
of his father,

the young King Louis XIII
ascends to the French throne.

His once peaceful nation
is surrounded by
enemies on all sides.

Within the borders
of France itself,

Cardinal Richelieu,
the King's advisor,

plots in secret to
seize power for himself.

The inexperienced Louis
and his new bride, Queen Anne,

find themselves
without a single friend.

Europe is a powder
keg waiting to explode

in a war that will
engulf the entire continent.

And only a few men
can prevent
the coming apocalypse.

[WATER SPLASHING]

[GASPS]

[GRUNTS]

CAPTAIN: Move out!

Halt!

[COCKS GUN]

Don't.

Getting careless?

The feeling is mutual.

For future reference,
"I love you"

would have been
a more suitable reply.

[GASPS]

Could have just
said, "Hello."

What would be
the fun in that?

How was the bishop?

Not as good as you.

You are incorrigible.

I bet you say that
to all the girls.

But, sir!
Remember I am a lady!

Let me touch your bosom.

Sir, keep your hands
to yourself!

[WHISPERING]
Hallowed be thy name,
thy kingdom come,

thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day
our daily bread,

and forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those
who trespass against us.

Amen.

WOMAN: That's enough wine,
I can assure...

[WOMAN SCREAMING]

- What?
- Key.

[GASPING]

You mean this key?

[EXCLAIMS]

Who are you?

I'm not a priest.

I'm not really a lady.

I have 10 minutes.

♪ There once was
an aunt from Lorraine

♪ With an incredible
tolerance for pain

♪ She had a nasty habit
Involving a chicken,
a frog, and a rabbit ♪

I expected more
from a man
of your reputation.

I don't suppose
you have any idea

where I could find
Athos and Aramis?

Never heard of them.

[CHUCKLES SARDONICALLY]

[BURPING]

You French spies.
You're very,
very arrogant.

And foolish.

And you're so...

Sexy?

It's a wonder it
took me so long
to catch you.

You didn't!

I beg your pardon?

You didn't catch me.

And what exactly
are you doing here?

Catching you.

[LAUGHING SCORNFULLY]

Key.

Vive la France!

ATHOS: Da Vinci's Vault.

Leonardo
designed it to protect

the plans of his
greatest inventions.

MILADY: Shall we?

ATHOS: Now.

Your part's done.
Why don't you stay back?
We'll meet at the rally point.

We came together,

we leave together.

[CHUCKLING]

[WHIRRING]

I'll go.

Wait, wait.

Too easy.

Pressure plates
- under the floor.
- Oh!

ARAMIS: I could
scale the walls.

ATHOS: Run a cable
along the roof.

ARAMIS: Could be
booby-trapped, too.

Hmm.

What? We don't have all night.

[CHUCKLING]

You're absolutely
certain there are
no hidden passages?

And no secret tunnels?

Positive, sir.
It's a vault.

One way in,
one way out.

Excellent! I want
these Musketeers dead!
I want them dead!

The guards
change in two minutes,
maybe less.

Less!

What now?

- C'est la vie?
- No.

Contingency plan.

Got it.

Athos, you do know
what's up there?

Just hold your breath.

[MUFFLED EXPLOSION]

SOLDIER: Get out!

Hey! Get back
down there! Now!

[SCREAMING]

Go ahead, say it!

I love you.

[ALL LAUGHING]

I hate to ruin the mood,
but perhaps we
could go elsewhere?

You know, for once
I think the padre
may be right.

ATHOS: All for one.

ALL: And one for all.

So, what's next?

Back to Paris, I guess.

And then what?

Wherever they send us,
whatever France needs.

It's who we are.
It's what we do.

I do love you.

I know.

Then please try and understand
that this isn't personal.

It's strictly business.

He made me a better offer.

Ah! Athos.

Buckingham.

[ECHOING] A toxin.

In case you were wondering,
it wasn't in your drink,
it was on your cup.

Inactive until it
came into contact
with the liquid.

Don't worry.

It isn't fatal.

Although I suspect
a part of you wishes it was.

You take all the risk
and I get the reward.

Hardly seems fair.

Well, just so you
don't leave empty-handed,

a word of advice.

Trust no one,
especially women.

You'll live longer.

[CHUCKLING]

Telling him you loved him
right before you betrayed him.

I must say,
that was cruel,
even by my standards.

I only took away
his prize.

You took a lot
more than that.

At last, the war machine.

[LAUGHS]

Look down.

It's a trick
an old friend taught me.

Your adversary
will not always be
as noble as you.

Remember that,

and I have nothing
left to teach you.

I doubt that, Father.

Keep it.

It's passed down
from generation
to generation,

from father to son.

It's yours now.

The weapon of
a Musketeer.

The real weapon
of a Musketeer

is here.

All for one.

And one for all.

You remind me
of somebody.

Let me guess. You.

No, no.
The man I wish I was
when I was your age.

Well, you should
really be on your way.

Take this purse.
There's 15 crowns in it.

It's enough to
get you to Paris.

And you'll need a mount.
Your mother's
insisting you take Buttercup.

I know it's not much, and...

It's plenty.

Take care of yourself,
my son.

Try not to get
into any fights.

If I'm to be
a Musketeer,

I think I might have
to do a little bit
of fighting.

Stay at the back
if you can.

Yes, Mother.

There's one more
piece of advice.

I know, I know.
Don't get into
any trouble.

Wrong.

Get into trouble.

Make mistakes.

Fight, love, live.

And remember, always,
you're a Gascon and our son.

Now go. Go.

In the name of God,
what kind of beast is that?

And the beast he's riding
doesn't look much either.

- Ostler.
- Sir?

Please see that my
horse is watered and fed.

Oh! It's a horse,
is it?

My friends here
thought it was a cow.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Excuse me.

See, I know you men
are just kidding around.

Buttercup,

well, she gets
a little sensitive.

I'm afraid I must
ask you to apologize.

Well, I'm afraid
I'm not in the habit

of apologizing
to Gascon yokels.

Not to me.

To my horse.

[BUTTERCUP SNORTING]

You've hurt her feelings.

And if I don't?

I shall have to kill you.

[CHUCKLING]

You shot me!

Most observant
of you, young man.

But the real question is,
why are you not dead?

Flesh wound.

Sight must be off.
Who takes care of my pistols?

Captain Rochefort, I...

[GRUNTS]

Whoa, whoa, steady.

Wouldn't want
to dirty my blade
with peasant blood.

[GROANING]

So, boy,

consider this a lesson.

Your last.

MILADY: No.

He's too pretty for that.

As you wish, Milady.

Rochefort, come.

We're expected in Paris.

D'ARTAGNAN: Thank you.

[WHIP CRACKS]

[HORSE NEIGHS]

[GROANS]

ROCHEFORT: Make way!

I think you've had enough.

[GRUNTS]

Where's my tankard?

D'ARTAGNAN: Excuse me!

You think you're
better than me?

No.

MAN: Watch yourself, boy!

All for one.

Excuse me!

- Sorry! I'm sorry!
- Are you blind?

Look, I'm chasing after a man
who insulted my horse

and tried to kill me,
so let me go!

That's not good enough.
You spilled my drink
and ruined my shirt.

I'm in a hurry.

[GROANS]

Here.

10 sous?

Who do you think
you're talking to?

The town drunk,
from the smell of you.

Now that, my boy,
is fighting talk.

What are you
saying exactly?

Blind and deaf.

Fortunately for you,
I'm somewhat of a doctor.

Great! When can
you fit me in?

12:00, Cooper's Yard,
St. Germain.

I'll be there.

Excuse me!

I just can't decide.

Well, if I might point out,
this does make you
look very dignified,

whereas the blue one
brings out your dashing side.

Equally important.

Dignified. Dashing.

In the words of King Solomon,
I'll take both!

A most excellent
choice, sir.

[SNAPPING FINGERS]

Darling, you spoil me.

I don't know how I
shall ever repay you.

Watch yourself!

My apologies.

Matter of life
and death.

Won't happen again.
Believe you dropped this.

This isn't mine.

I saw the lady
hand this to you,
I'm not blind.

Are you implying
that I take money
from this woman?

Are you saying that I
cannot afford to pay
for my own wardrobe?

Do you know
who I am?

No!

Then we're even.

You're in luck, boy.

Ordinarily,
I would slaughter you
on the spot,

but this is
a brand-new jacket.

Cooper's Yard,
St. Germain, 1:00.

I suggest you
dress for a funeral!

What?

Lottery!

There you go.

Lottery ticket, sir?
Might be your lucky day!

What the hell?

5 francs?

Hey! Hey!

What is this?

It's a citation.

It's a ticket.

Failure to remove
animal bowel movements
from public area.

French.

Your horse took
a dump on the street.

You're joking.

That's what
they all say.

You know what?

Cooper's Yard,
St. Germain, 2:00.

Strange boy.

CASTELLAN: Milady de Winter!

Close game,
Your Eminence.

- Hmm.
- Who's the opponent?

Myself.
No one else proved to be
a sufficient challenge.

[GASPS]

Hmm.

What news of England?

He's coming.

- Buckingham?
- Hmm.

And...

And?

He built it.

The war machine.

And he doesn't
question your loyalty.

He thinks
he's so cunning.

So evil.

Evil is just
a point of view.

Ah!

Richelieu.

Is this lady
the emissary from England?

Your Majesty is
exceptionally alert.

So, madam,

what of Buckingham?

Majesty?

Well, what's he wearing
these days?

Green,
Your Majesty.

- Green?
- Hmm.

LOUIS XIII: Very interesting.

And you had
the gall to recommend blue?

Of course
it should be green.

Why am I surrounded
by incompetent idiots?

Green, green, green!

Do I have to do
everything myself?

[CLOCK BELL STRIKING]

D'ARTAGNAN: Ah!

There you are.
Shall we get to it?

ATHOS: So, are you eager
to meet your maker?

I have other appointments.

You'll miss them,
I'm afraid.

Well, I'll try my
best to be on time.

My seconds.

You!

You're fighting this rascal?

My appointments.

How long have
you been in Paris?

- Arrived this morning.
- You have been busy.

Patience is not
one of my virtues.

Well, neither are
good manners.

Wait for your turn,
old man.

[LAUGHS SCORNFULLY]

What would you like me
to put on your headstone?
"Little shit"?

D'Artagnan.

D'Artagnan.

I'm Athos.
This is Porthos and Aramis.

The Three Musketeers.

I've heard of you.

From my father,
a Musketeer himself.

In fact, I came to
Paris to be one of you.

I'm afraid
you're a little late.

What happened?

Oh, a bad mission.
Budget cuts.

Cardinal, progress.

Take your pick.

[SIGHING]

Well, then,
welcome to Paris.

Pity we'll have
to kill you.

Well, if I can't
become a Musketeer,
I might as well fight one.

Or three.

[LAUGHING] Kill him already.
It's lunchtime
and I'm starving.

Halt!

[GROANS]

Jussac.

Well, well, well.
How the mighty have fallen.

Dueling in
defiance of the edicts?

You got tired of
rolling peddlers
for spare change?

Now... GUARD: Seal the square!

JUSSAC: Surrender your weapons
and come along with us.

GUARD: Seal it off!

Unless, of course,
you would rather resist.

PORTHOS: New plan.

Kill the boy,
kick their asses,
and then go get some lunch.

I could do with
some exercise.

[PEOPLE CLAMORING]

GUARD: Seal it off, boys!

You were saying?

On the other hand,
discretion is
the better part of valor.

You're the Musketeers.

Wrong.

We were the Musketeers.
Now we're just... us.

ATHOS: Rochefort.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[CROWD CHEERS]

[CHUCKLING]

ARAMIS: Shall we?

Finish them off.

Let's even the odds.

Enjoying the show?

- JUSSAC: You!
- Watch out!

D'ARTAGNAN: You didn't
answer my question.

Are you always this cocky?

Only on Tuesdays

and whenever
beautiful women are involved.

Damn you!

Can't you see
we're trying to
have a conversation?

[CROWD LAUGHING]

What is your name?

Constance.

Constance.
Sounds very steadfast.

A quality you seem
to know little about.

Oh, I beg to differ.[JUSSAC GROANING]

Deep down,
I am a hopeless romantic.

Back for more?

[CROWD APPLAUDING]

[CROWD CHANTING]
Musketeers!
Musketeers! Musketeers!

I'd forgotten
what it feels like.

We all have.

The name is D'Artagnan.

You must come from
a very small town.

How did you know?

CONSTANCE: Lines like yours
might actually work there.

This is Paris.
I suggest you
stick to swordplay.

In the battle of wits,
you, sir, are unarmed.

[SIGHS]

[PORTHOS CHUCKLING]

She's right, lad.

The ladies of Paris
are infinitely
more complicated.

They have 1,000
ways of saying, "No,"

and only some of
them mean, "Yes."

I hate to ruin the mood,
but they will be back.

And unless you wish to
fight an entire army.

Elsewhere.

D'ARTAGNAN: So, now what?
Do we pick up
where we left off?

ATHOS: I think
there's been enough
fighting for one day.

PORTHOS: Besides,
any man who's an enemy

of Rochefort is
a friend of mine.

D'ARTAGNAN: Who's
Rochefort?

ARAMIS: Captain of
the Cardinal's guards.

The right hand of
the most powerful man
in France.

Rochefort is
the most feared
swordsman in Europe.

You certainly know
how to pick your fights.

Like I said,
he insulted my horse.

PORTHOS: You're reckless,
arrogant, impetuous,

probably be dead by sundown,
but I like you, lad.

Where are you staying?

No idea.

Ah! Do you have
any money?

Well, good sir,

you and your fine steed
are welcome in
our humble home.

For the time being.

That goes in there.

[NEIGHING]

Come on.

What shall we drink to?

How about the King?

He's a child. Cardinal
rules in all but name,
might as well drink to him.

To France.

We served it, fought
for it and bled for it.
Look where it got us.

Friendship? Love?

[EXHALES] Word of advice, boy.
Trust no one.

Must be something
you still believe in.

This.

This.

And this.

Anyone who tells you
otherwise is either

a fool or trying to
sell you something.

I know Athos may seem
cold and unfriendly,
but don't let it fool you.

Deep down...

He really is
cold and unfriendly.

What happened to him?

What happens to
any man, a woman.

You know, I don't
want to offend anybody,

but I thought you'd all be
a little bit more... heroic.

[PORTHOS LAUGHING]

What my esteemed colleague
was trying to say,
in his own way,

is that we are obsolete.

We're warriors,
but there's no
war for us to fight.

And so we drink and brawl
and quarrel with
the Cardinal's guards

and then we drink
some more.

What we need
is a great cause.

But there are no
great causes left.

Which is why I
keep telling you

it's not too late to do
that priest thing again.

Beats working for the city.

Free booze at
wakes and weddings.
And then there's the nuns.

You were a priest?

Until I realized
being a man of God

and a man of the cloth
aren't always the same thing.

PORTHOS: And yet,
he still says prayers
for those he kills.

Old habit.

ARAMIS: On the contrary.

The men I kill
deserve to die.

But they also
deserve peace.

After all,
they must have believed
in something.

We all do.
Even the worst of us.

I'll drink to that!

Planchet! More wine!

Planchet!

Sorry, sirs.

I'm afraid

there's none left.
You've drunk the lot.

PORTHOS: What sort
of answer's that?

Well, go get some more, man!

Very good, sir.
It's just, I can't, sir.

We've run out of money.

PORTHOS: Planchet,
what are you?

[SIGHS]
Complete and utter
waste of space, sir?

And?

As much use as
- a fart in a bottle, sir?
- Right.

In short,
sir, a total tit, sir.

But I can't work
bleeding miracles!

D'ARTAGNAN: Planchet?

Oh! [CHUCKLES]

Thank you very much, sir!

That's incredibly generous
from such a handsome,
young man.

Thank you very, very much.

Will you be
staying here tonight?

ARAMIS: He'll be
taking your bed, Planchet.

Right,
and so I'll be sleeping...

You may take the balcony.

Outside? The balcony
outside in the cold?

With birds shitting
on my head all night?

Great, can I just
say you...

Wine! Wine!

ALL: Wine! Wine! Wine! Wine!

Yes! Of course!
Wine it is, sirs!

[BIRD FLUTTERING]

[GASPS]

[GROANING]

RICHELIEU: Check.

[SCOFFS] This is
a ridiculous game.

Surely the King
should be
the most powerful piece?

The King is
the most important piece.

But he's vulnerable,
he needs protection.

May I suggest
you castle him?

Checkmate.

There. What do you
think of that?

Your Majesty is
a force of nature.

Took you
by surprise, eh?

Yes, indeed, you did.

May we speak a little
about foreign policy?

It's not about
Buckingham, is it?

Oh, I'm afraid it is.

He's arriving in
Paris tomorrow.

His master,
King James, has agreed
to hear our peace proposal.

Good, good.
Well, he knows better
than to mess with me, then.

There's also
another matter.

A dangerous rivalry
has sprung

between Your
Majesty's Musketeers
and my personal guards.

Who was involved?

Athos, Porthos, Aramis.

The usual suspects.

And a young man
called D'Artagnan.

I have summoned them
to the palace so that

Your Majesty can
punish them severely.

His Majesty, the King!

Well, well, well.

[CLEARING THROAT]

Brawling with
the Cardinal's guards.

That's very bad.

What have you got to
say for yourselves?

We...

Humbly beg your pardon,
Your Majesty.

LOUIS XIII: Yes.
Yes, I should hope so, too.

So, tell me, how many
were involved in
the altercation?

There were four of
us against 40 of them,
Your Majesty.

Four against 40?

And you beat them
like a drum?[COUGHING]

And, yes, you shall
have to be reprimanded,
of course,

most harshly,
I'm afraid.

You do understand that,
don't you?

We do, Your Majesty.

CASTELLAN: Her Majesty,
the Queen.

LOUIS XIII: Anne.

What a...
What a pleasant surprise!

My ladies and I wanted to see
the valiant Musketeers

who stood against
the Cardinal's guards.

Four against 40?

Or was it 400?

ATHOS: Just 40,
Your Majesty.

It was an off day.

[CHUCKLING]

That's my Musketeers
for you.

By the time they
write songs about them,
it'll be 4,000.

I hope you won't be
too harsh with them.

After all,
boys will be boys.

You must be D'Artagnan.

My lady in waiting
has told me about

how brave and
dashing you were yesterday.

But you must try
not to be so reckless.

Can't help myself,
Your Majesty.

Your Majesty,
- the culprits.
- Ah! Yes, yes.

Well, stand up, then.

Athos.

Porthos.

Aramis.

Forgive me for
saying this, D'Artagnan,

but you do look
a little underdressed.

My father is a poor man,
Your Majesty.

A former Musketeer
as well.

These are
the only clothes I have.

LOUIS XIII: Oh, Lord. We
shall have to rectify that.

Can't have my Musketeers,
or the son of one,
looking like tramps.

New suits
all around, I think.

Yes.
You'll see to that,
Cardinal?

And, yes, I think
a purse of gold for each
as a reward for your courage.

You'll see to that
as well, Cardinal.

And, yes, before I forget,

no more fighting
with His Eminence's guards.

Hmm?

Or there'll be
none of them left.

[PEOPLE CHUCKLING]

Your Majesty,
might I suggest a more...

Forgive my impudence, Cardinal,

but I doubt the King
requires your
advice in this matter.

After all,
they are his Musketeers.

Good day, gentlemen.

LOUIS XIII: Well,
now, off with you rascals.

But be there for
the parade tomorrow.
New suits and all.

RICHELIEU: I tire of
these royal children.

It's time to make our move.

We shall use
Buckingham's arrival
to our advantage.

During his visit,
we will reveal

that he arranged
a secret rendezvous
with the Queen.

May I inquire
how Your Eminence

has uncovered this
scandalous affair?

By reading
Buckingham's letters

to the Queen,
found in her possession.

Written in Buckingham's
hand, then
authenticated by his seal?

A woman of your talents
should have no
trouble procuring either.

Hmm. Your Eminence
is too kind.

However, I doubt that
the King will accept
such letters

as definitive proof of
his wife's indiscretion.

Then we shall provide him
with something
a bit more substantial.

A piece of the Queen's jewelry
given to Buckingham as
a token of affection.

Buckingham will be humiliated.

The King will be outraged.

The Queen will be executed.

France will have no
choice but to go to war.

And in times like these,

France will
naturally turn to
a stronger leader.

Someone better
equipped to rule a nation

than a cuckolded
teenager with a grudge.

Hmm.

Someone like
Your Eminence.

CAPTAIN: About face!

Well, where is he, then?
It's just appalling manners.

[ALL EXCLAIMING]

MAN: Drop anchor!

Anchor aweigh!

Damn his impudence!

What is that thing
called anyway, Richelieu?

An airship, Your Majesty.

Why don't I have
one of those?

An oversight on our part.

Right, right.
Well, build me one.

MAN: Secure the lines!

All lines secured!

Buckingham.

Blue.

Oh.

Your Majesty.

Love the outfit.

Very retro.

We were all
wearing those in London,

when was it,
last year or the year before?

Lord Buckingham,
I trust your journey
wasn't too uncomfortable.

Not at all. No.

On the contrary.

Handles like
a dream and keeps me
one step closer to heaven.

Cardinal.

Of course,
being a servant of God,

you have no need for
such crude devices.

[CHUCKLES]

King James is
most eager to hear
your peace proposal.

- Lord Buckingham.
- Anne.

Your Majesty.

I must say your beauty
is far more radiant
than I remember.

You've met before?

A long time ago.

An evening I
shall cherish forever.

Right. Well, shall we?

Now this is
a pleasant surprise.

Another acquaintance
of yours, I see.

We've met, yes.

As I recall, last I saw you,
you were on
your knees as well.

Most unfortunate habit.

It's a habit I
shall have to break
during our next encounter.

I look forward to it.

In the meantime,
shall we talk peace?

[SIGHING]

You must pass me the name
of your interior decorator.

Wine?

I don't drink.

What about that
rather nice bottle of

Bordeaux in your
middle left-hand drawer?

You must pass me the name
of your spy in the palace.

And yours in mine.

England cannot afford
a war on two fronts.

Both our nations
are stretched to
breaking point.

A peace treaty
would be of immense
strategic advantage.

Whose advantage? Yours?

Ours.

I have a feeling
my new war machines
will readdress the balance.

Very impressive.

CAPTAIN: And march!
Left, left, left, right, left!

Hold your line!

Halt!

About face!

GUARD: Stay where you are!

This is the Queen's wing.
You can't be up here.

Oh, thank goodness.

I got so lost.
I took a wrong turn

and then a door
slammed behind me.

I've been trapped
up here, in the sun,
in this heat.

It's going to be
all right.

Oh, I'm gonna faint.

You're in safe hands.

Thank you.

CAPTAIN: And march!

Halt!

You can't shoot.
They'll hear you.

Shh!

CAPTAIN: Wait for it!

[CLOCK BELL RINGING]

Left, left!

D'ARTAGNAN: Constance!
Constance!

Hey, hey, excuse me!

Pardon, Your Majesty.

This will only
take a moment.

What are you
doing here?

His Majesty
wants a word with me.
Imagine that.

Yes, lovely.
Now, excuse me.

I was...

I was thinking,
after I'm finished

with His Majesty,
maybe we could talk?

I can't. I have plans.

D'ARTAGNAN:
What about tomorrow?

I have a lot of plans.

Well, I...Look, D'Artagnan.

You may have
a new set of clothes
and the King's favor,

but you still act like
a clumsy country boy.

Now excuse me.

[WOMEN CHUCKLING]

CAPTAIN: And halt!

About face!

And march!

Left! Left, right, left!

D'ARTAGNAN:
Two summons in two days.
Your Majesty honors me.

LOUIS XIII: Cut it out.
Please, think nothing of it.

You're a good fellow,
D'Artagnan.

So, how are the ladies
treating you these days?

Can't complain.

Yes, indeed.

Well, same here, of course.
Thing is...

I've got this friend.

Just a regular chap,
like you and me.

He got married very young.

Political alliance,
arranged marriage,
you know the sort of thing.

Hardly knew the girl.

But he likes her?

Oh, yes.

Mmm-hmm.

Very much.

Well, does she like him?

Well,
funny you should say that.
That's the problem.

He's... He's not sure.

[SIGHING]

Well,
he just feels like a fool
when he's around her.

He's always
saying the wrong thing.
His palms are sweating.

His heart's pumping so loud
he's afraid she might hear it.

It's torture
just to look at her.

Have you ever
felt this way?

Not until recently.

So, what do we do?
I mean, my friend.
What does he do?

He should
speak his heart.

Be someone who cares
for her and isn't afraid
to show it.

Be himself.

Well, that's
what I told him.

Well, then he's
doubly lucky.

After all, he does have
Your Majesty as a friend.

Yes. Yes.
It's good to have friends.

Will you excuse me
just for one moment?

I don't believe it.

[CLEARING THROAT]

How are you?

Very well.

I'm wearing blue.

And you look
very handsome in it.

[CHUCKLES SELF-CONSCIOUSLY]

Thank you. Yes, I...
You're looking
just very lovely.

In fact,
I was only just remarking
to D'Artagnan how...

How beautiful you are.

Thank you, My Lord.

[SPRAYING]

RICHELIEU:
How did it go?

MILADY: Clockwork.

Good.

You'll go back to London
with Buckingham
and the diamonds.

And what should
I do with them?

Put them in his
personal vault,

the most secure
location in all of England.

- The Tower of London.
- Yup.

When the scandal breaks,
he'll deny everything.

But once the diamonds
are discovered in
his possession...

He would have
led England to war
through his indiscretion.

And what of
the future of France?

I am France.

One last thing.

I suppose it's quite easy,
perhaps even tempting,

for a double agent
to play both sides.

Have I given Your Eminence
any reason to
doubt my loyalty?

Spare me the rhetoric.

I know who you are.
I know what you are.

You have a gift for
corruption and a penchant
for betrayal.

I admire such skills.

But I'll destroy you
the moment I suspect

you might be
using them against me.

Do we understand
one another?

There

is another side
to that coin.

It's quite easy
for an employer

to sever all ties
with his operative,

in the event that
they are compromised,
leaving them to

rot in jail
or on the gallows.

Your point being?

I require a guarantee
that I shall not
suffer a similar fate.

An insurance policy,
if you will.

My word should suffice.

[SCOFFS]

I'm afraid I'll need
something a bit more

substantial.

RICHELIEU:
"It is by my order
and for the good of the State

"that the bearer of this
has done what has been done."

Satisfied?

Immensely.

Your Majesty.

Purple?

Fashion favors the bold.

Here.

Try this for size.

Oh, well.

Do give my
regards to the Queen.

I will convey your
diplomatic proposal
to King James immediately.

Cardinal Richelieu,
a pleasure.

All mine.

Your Eminence.

LOUIS XIII: Richelieu!

Richelieu!

There has been
the most
distressing development.

Certain letters,

love letters,
were discovered in
the Queen's possession.

Letters from him.

Buckingham, of course!
Who else?

Have you spoken
to the Queen about
these letters?

No. Of course I haven't.
She'll just deny
the whole thing!

Hmm.

I can see Your
Majesty's dilemma.

Is there any mention
of a specific encounter?
A detail?

A token of affection, perhaps?

Yes.

Yes, there is.

A necklace.
The one I gave her
for our anniversary. Here.

"I shall always cherish
the 12 studded
diamonds you gave me,

"the proof of our
consummated love."

Does "consummated" mean
what I think it means?

Yes, I'm afraid it does.

Oh, my God!

All Your Majesty has
to do is throw a ball.

What? How would
that help?

It would give Your
Majesty the pretext
to suggest to the Queen

that she wear your gift.

Oh, Richelieu,
that's very clever.
That's very clever.

So, if she has
the diamonds...

Your Majesty can rest easy.

And if she doesn't?

He wants to have
a celebration ball,
five days from now.

Send my diamonds
to the jeweler's
to be polished.

I want the King's
undivided attention
that evening.

I hope I am
not interrupting.

Hardly, Your Majesty.
To what do I owe...

I know.

Perhaps Your Majesty
would care to be
a bit more specific?

I know.

Yeah.

I assume this is the part
where I'm supposed
to laugh maniacally

and regale Your
Majesty with the details
of some diabolical plot.

However, I regret to
inform Your Majesty

that I have no idea
what you're talking about.

I thought you'd say that.

Then why did you grace me
with the honor of your visit?

To look into your
eyes when you said it.

Your Majesty.[SOBBING]

All may not be lost yet.

[BANGING ON DOOR]

PLANCHET: Coming, coming!
Hold your horses!

It's not a matter of
life or death, you know?

Actually, it is.

You want me
to go to England,

retrieve the diamonds,
which the Queen suspects

might be in
Buckingham's possession,

which will naturally
involve breaking into
some heavily fortified,

highly impregnable
facility?

The Tower of London.

Since the Cardinal's
spies are trying to
implicate the Duke,

it is the most
logical choice.

Then return to Paris
with every soldier, assassin,

mercenary,
bounty hunter,

on both sides of
the Channel out to
stop me from doing so.

Did I miss anything?

All in five days.

A minor detail.
Anything else?

No.

Well, I really only
have one question
for you.

Why in the world
would I do that?

England it is.

D'ARTAGNAN: Diamonds,
Buckingham, Tower
of London, five days,

Queen's reputation
and the fate of
France as we know it.

Who's with me?

Well, I should imagine
the Queen would
be quite generous.

Count Porthos.
Hmm? What do you think?

Got a nice ring
to it, doesn't it?

Besides,
I hear the English women

are a lot like
a frosted bottle of champagne.

Ice on the outside,
but once you warm them up...

This isn't a great cause,
but it'll have to do.

Buckingham's there,
so is she.

Who?

Countess de Winter.

Charlotte Backson.

Anne de Breuil.
Lady Clarick.

Milady.

Milady?

I know her.
I saw her with Rochefort.

PORTHOS: She's switched
sides again.

She's working for
the Cardinal, no doubt.

What are you going to
do if you catch her?

ROCHEFORT: Musketeers, open up
and surrender by
order of the Cardinal!

- You were followed.
- It's Rochefort.

Athos, Porthos,
Aramis and D'Artagnan,

surrender your weapons
and no harm will come to you.

The moment they step out,

kill them.

Light the torches!

I'll count to five,
then we'll burn you out!

One!

Two!

Three!

Oh! Sorry!
Didn't see you there.

JUSSAC: Damn you![LAUGHS]

JUSSAC: Fire!

RICHELIEU: Let me guess.

You've come to tell me
that the Musketeers are dead,

our plan is
proceeding on schedule,

and I have absolutely, positively,
nothing to worry about.

We were taken by surprise,
Your Eminence.

Somehow I was laboring
under the assumption

that the plan was for you
to take them by surprise.

Was it not?

Eminence...

Yes, you are quite
fond of that word,
aren't you?

Sadly, repeating it
doesn't get you
into my good graces.

Alert Milady.
Watch the ports.

No one is to leave
for England without
my official permission.

Post a bounty
on their heads.

The bigger, the better.

Yes, Your Eminence.

Rochefort.

Do not fail me again.

Jussac and a lot of help.
There's no way past.

How the hell did
he get here so fast?

- D'ARTAGNAN: Now what?
- ATHOS: We need a distraction.

- I'll go.
- I'll go.

I could go.

Probably not.

Wrong. Wrong on all counts.
You'll need every
sword where you're going.

I can't help you there,
but I can help.

Right here, right now.

If they catch you... They won't.

If they catch you...

I'm the Queen's
lady-in-waiting.

You, on the other hand,
are a wanted fugitive,

and about to steal
from the most
powerful man in England.

Which one of us
should be worried?

Go.

Go so that you can
come back.

Now give me that hat.

D'Artagnan!

Get after him!

Wait!

ATHOS: The diamonds will be
in Buckingham's
personal vault,

located in the lowest,
most secure level

of the Tower,
next to the crown jewels.

The lock is
state of the art.

It requires
a key that Buckingham

carries on his
person at all times.

Corridor leading up
to it is booby-trapped.

Oh, I'm glad
that's straightforward.

Tempt anyone
with some bread
and cheese, if you...

You hadn't finished
the briefing, actually.

I'm so sorry.
Please don't tell me off.

ATHOS: Then it gets worse,
a lot worse.

We have to cross
three stone walls
and a moat.

And there's just
a couple of hundred
highly trained soldiers

with a predilection
for not being robbed.

Although,
since Buckingham undoubtedly

knows we're coming,
thanks to Milady,

that number is
likely to be greater.

D'ARTAGNAN: And why
can't we just tell

Buckingham Milady is
plotting against him?

ATHOS: Because he
wouldn't believe us.

Why should he?
We're his sworn enemies.

Besides, Milady would
have made sure.

Athos is coming.

Tell me.

What do you
suppose he's after?

What does it matter?

Whatever it is,
it's merely an excuse.
He wants revenge for Venice.

He wants me.

And he wants you.

We shall have to
be ready for him.

Won't we?

We can't outshoot them,
but we can outsmart them.

He'll naturally favor
misdirection and deception.

He knows we're expecting him,
but that just ups the ante.

She knows us.

What we look like,
how we move,
how we think.

He'll divide his forces,
independent teams,

each with their
own point of entry
to maximize their chances.

There are four of us.
So we use...

Well, there's five of us,
actually, if you...

He's a skilled diver.

He'll take the aquatic route,
through the Traitor's Gate.

Aramis will undoubtedly rely
on agility and stealth.

Check every tower,
every rooftop.

Porthos, on the other hand,
will employ brute strength.

One of his preferred methods
is getting captured
by the opposition.

All the more reason
to take none of them alive.

One more thing.

They may try and
drive a wedge between us.

Claim to have
secret information

about some plot
to get us to turn
against one another,

like, say,
I'm a double agent
working for the Cardinal

or you're looking
to get rid of me.

I assure you,
nothing could be
further from the truth.

[GASPS]
Although,

I suppose I should

search you for
concealed weapons.

That's how it's done.

And that's exactly
what she'll expect.

So we do
the unexpected.

We go in broad daylight.
One man,
hiding in plain sight.

With all the extra security,

there'll be
a lot of new faces,
that's their weakness.

And you, D'Artagnan,
you're the wild card.

We are the decoys.

Now we'll try and
create a distraction,
keep them occupied,

keep them away from you
as much as possible,

but, ultimately,
it's down to you.

You wanted
to be a Musketeer?

You want
to serve France?

This is your chance.

COMMANDER: Left, left,
right, left, right, left!

I thought you
saw the signal!

I saw you
waving like an idiot!

Well, that was
the bloody signal!

I'm trying to see things
from your point of view,

but, unfortunately,
I can't get my head
that far up my ass!

Up your ass?
I'll tell you what... Yes!

SERGEANT:
That's enough of that!

PORTHOS: Finally, good,
at last, a peace officer!

Now listen, Sergeant,
I would like you
to arrest this man!

Arrest me?

You can't arrest me!

Don't you tell me that!
I've lost my prized bantam!

Bantams?
They are rotten!

They are not rotten!

Sir!
The first of the Musketeers
has been arrested!

The game is afoot.

Bring him to me and
double the guards.
Double the troops.

Double everything.

Sir!

They'll come to us.

Well, then.

I think Your Lordship
has everything under control.

You won't mind if
I don't stay to see
how it all turns out?

Do you think
I might lose?

On the contrary.

I have no issues
with you killing Athos,

but, if it's all the same
to you, I'd rather
not watch him die.

Tell me,
what's your
favorite color?

Red.

Why?

I wanted to see
if you were capable
of telling the truth.

Hmm.

As far from here
as possible.

Well, well, well.

Look at what
the cat dragged in.

So, how's
the old Athos, eh?

Still his surly,
insufferable self,
I'm sure.

Sending a boy
to do a man's job.

I should feel insulted.

Well, what were
you after anyway, eh?

Secrets, spies,
it's all a game, really.

Although the price of loss,
as you'll come to discover,

is a little bit higher.

What?

No last words?

No insults?

Pleas for mercy or...

What time is it?

About 2:00, I'd say.
Why? Are you in a hurry?

Look out of the window.

They weren't the decoys.
I was.

[SCREAMING]

Ahhh!

[GUNFIRE CONTINUING]

[MAN SCREAMING]

Permission to come aboard?

Granted.

[COUGHING]

[GRUNTS]

[PANTS]

Athos!

The wonderful
thing about fighting

an imaginary opponent,
Captain Rochefort,

is that he's
always greatly skilled
yet easily defeated.

Eminence.

The pride of victory
without the risk of loss.

I trust you didn't
come here to impress me
with your swordsmanship.

No, Your Eminence.
I have some good news.

Such as?

So what about the diamonds?
Doesn't Buckingham
still have them?

Nope.

Milady likes
hedging her bets.

She'd never have
taken the chance

we'd actually succeed
in breaking into the vault.

D'ARTAGNAN:
So where are they now?

ATHOS: With
the only person she trusts.

Which means we've lost her
and all this has
been for nothing.

I wouldn't say that.

You were the decoy,
we were the extraction,

but the real
linchpin of the plan, well,

that was
someone else entirely.

Someone even Milady
would never suspect.

Driver!
What the hell is going on?

Just following your
instructions, ma'am.

"As far away from
here as possible."

[LAUGHING]

PLANCHET: Whoo-hoo!

Planchet. Never thought
I'd hear myself
say this, but

well done.

Thank you, sir.

That means a lot,
especially coming from you.

Shut up, Planchet.

Yes, sir.

Don't.[CLICKS]

We took the precaution
of removing the gunpowder.

What now?

You give me the diamonds
or I take them
off your corpse.

Dealer's choice.

Anything else you'd
like me to take off?

Outside.

Boys.

Been a while.

This must be
the young Gascon.

We've met before.

Ah, yes.

Small world.

I didn't let
Rochefort kill you.

You do remember that,
don't you?

[GUN COCKING]

Did you kill Buckingham?

No.

But you will kill me?

ATHOS: Yes.

You would spare him,
but kill me?

Yes. I don't hate Buckingham.

Here.

You may find use for this.

Move.

Athos.

At least she died
the way she lived,
on her own terms.

She did it for me.

I wouldn't have
been able to live
with myself

had I pulled
the trigger.

Come on,
let's go home.

LADY: But I can't get it.

LADY 2: How marvelous!

Oh! So great!

[CLEARING THROAT]
Oh!

Your Majesty.

My dear.

You look troubled.

Hardly. Your
Majesty just startled me.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I just wanted to drop by

and tell you how much
I was looking
forward to tonight.

Should be quite spectacular,
you know.
Costumes, fireworks and such.

But you,

you shall be
the most spectacular
sight of all.

And especially since
you'll wear the diamonds.

You will wear them,
won't you?

Well, it's very
important to me
that you do.

Then I shall wear them,
Your Majesty.

Until tonight, then.

She promised
she'll wear them.

You do think
she'll wear them,
don't you, Richelieu?

I'm sure she will,
Your Majesty.

I'm sure she will.

[RETCHING]

I hate air travel!

[PLANCHET GROANING]

Damn!

HELMSMAN: Hard to starboard!

Well, now that we
have their attention,

let's see if we
can settle this
in a peaceful manner.

More or less.

Ah, Gascon!

So you've traded up
when it comes to transport.

But, once again,
you're outmatched.

You can thank Milady for that.

She passed on
Buckingham's plans
a long time ago.

As you can see,
we made some improvements.

[CHUCKLES]

Isn't she a beauty?

What do you want?

The diamonds.

- Come and take them.
- ROCHEFORT: Gladly!

You see, I can
blast you out of the sky
with total impunity.

If you fire on me,
on the other hand,

you'll be killing
Miss Oh-so-young-and-pretty.

You have 60 seconds.

He'll shoot us down
the moment he
has the diamonds.

We can't outrun them.

And we can't fight them,
damn it! We can't.

Oh, D'Artagnan.

What?

Do you think
you have the monopoly
on loss?

What if she dies?

The life of one woman
or the future of France,

what would you do
if you were in my position?

ATHOS: I've made
a lot of sacrifices,
a lot of hard choices.

For honor,
for King, for country.

You wanna know what
I've learned, boy?

Hard choices and sacrifices
do not keep you warm at night.

Life is too damn
short and too damn long

to go through without
someone at your side.

Don't end up like me.

Choose the woman.
Fight for love, D'Artagnan.

France will take
care of itself.

ROCHEFORT: Time's up!

An exchange.

I go aboard your
ship with the diamonds,
the girl comes aboard ours.

Once I know she's safe,

I give them to you.

Fine. But I want to
see the diamonds first.

Planchet.

Cut her loose.

JUSSAC: Deploy the gangway!

HELMSMAN: Deploy the gangway!

Satisfied?

You never learn,
do you?

Fire!

Hard right!

Fire!

Fire!

Good.

I really want you
to see this.

Finish them off!

We can't outrun them
and we can't outgun them.

We could try asking
them to surrender,

but somehow I don't
think it would work.

We hide. In there.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

HELMSMAN: Fire!

GUNNER: Fire!

Lay in a pursuit course!

HELMSMAN:
Lay in a pursuit course!

GUNNER: Fire!

He's persistent,
I'll give him that!

GUNNER: Fire!

But, sir!
We can't go into the storm!

ROCHEFORT: Anyone?

Anyone else who
wants to question orders?

Good.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

Sir, now might be a good time
to talk about
the possibility of a raise?

Shut up, Planchet.

Yes, sir.

Where are they?

You're never gonna
find them in there.

I beg to differ.

Keep after them!

I'll take the Gascon!

CREWMAN: Hard to starboard!

You know what
your problem is, boy?

You read too many books,
and then you believed them.

Courage, honor.

All for one.

But history isn't
written by heroes,
it's written by victors.

Keep your eyes open!

Round two.

Oh...

[WHOOPING]

CREWMAN: Return fire!

Pull up, damn it!

We're too heavy!

You scared to take
me in a fair fight?

Hardly.

I just don't fight fair.

Captain Rochefort!

Captain Rochefort!

Oh, well.

[MEN SHOUTING]

Drop the ballast!

Drop everything!

And fire up the burners!

Over the side!

Drop those barrels!

Faster! Move!

Shall we?

Hold on!

Get out of the way!

Go! Run!

[MEN GRUNTING]

[GROANING]

[MEN BATTLING]

[CHUCKLES]

I still have the diamonds.
What do you
propose to do about that?

Kill you.

If you insist.

[MOCKINGLY] Oh!

[CRYING OUT]

[GASPING]

[GRUNTING]

[CRYING OUT]

You should've
stayed in Gascony, boy.

You should've
apologized to my horse.

[TUNING VIOLINS]

RICHELIEU:
Surround the palace!
Shoot the Musketeers on sight!

Use every man
at your disposal!
Any means necessary!

- Your Eminence!
- Don't interrupt!

These men must not...

[GUARDS CRYING OUT]

[EXCLAIMS]

[ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

Arrest these men!

What is the meaning
of this?

Your Majesty,
these men...

Are delivering
a gift for Your Majesty.
Compliments of the Cardinal.

Cardinal,
you shouldn't have.

Well, Your Majesty
did ask me to get you
one of those, so...

So I did.

But what happened to it?

Buckingham's spy,
Rochefort, attempted
to sabotage the craft.

- He's been dealt with.
- Rochefort?

He's Captain of
your guards, isn't he?

Actually,

His Eminence was the one
who uncovered the traitor.

"It is by my order
and for the good of the State

"that the bearer of this
has done what has been done."

That's your signature,
isn't it, Richelieu?

It would appear so,
Your Majesty.

LOUIS XIII:
Well, let me get this right.

You brought me an airship
and exposed
a snake in our midst?

How can I ever
repay you?

I could think
of a few ways.

Anne.

I was just
returning from the jewelers.

Well, I realize
it's a little early,

but the orchestra's
here and so are we.

Would Your
Majesty care to dance?

I would love to.

Well, mind out,
you fellows!

D'Artagnan.

Well, well, well.

Looks like you
aren't the only one
who gets the girl.

Your Majesty is a natural.

Guess I am.

As a matter of fact,

I think you'll start
noticing a few more
changes around here.

Thank you.

For everything.

Any time.

LOUIS XIII: Well,
strike up, then!

CONDUCTOR: Your Majesty!

Positions, please, gentlemen!

[ORCHESTRA BEGINS PLAYING]

Well-played.

[CHUCKLING]

I could use
men like you.

I already have a job.

I'm a drunk.

I'm independently wealthy.

Thanks, but no.

The day will come
when you'll wish
you had said, "Yes."

D'ARTAGNAN: Maybe.

But not today.

Maybe not today.

Enjoying the show?

Are you always this cocky?

Only on Tuesdays

and whenever
beautiful women
are involved.

So you think
I'm beautiful.

Actually, it's Tuesday.

[SIGHING]

ARAMIS: So, what now?

ATHOS: We drink.

PORTHOS: And then what?

Wherever they send us.
Whatever France needs.

I thought you
didn't believe in
that stuff anymore.

I believe in us.

Till the day I
stop believing that,

there are still
things in this world
worth fighting and dying for.

All for one!

ALL: And one for all!

You know, sirs,

I know you can be mean, tough,
foul-tempered bastards,

but sometimes I
get the feeling
that deep down you're all...

ALL: Shut up, Planchet!

Yeah, yeah, of course.

[ECHOING] In case
you're wondering,
this isn't the afterlife.

I'm not dead,

and neither are you.

What?

How did you...

Followed Athos.

We fished you
out of the Channel.

Where are we going?

To France, of course.

SEAMAN: Sail away!

To get back what's mine
and pay back, with interest.

SEAMAN: Roll ballast!

♪ When we were young
The world seemed so old

♪ Careless and cold

♪ We did what we
were told in our lives

♪ When we were young

♪ Had the world by the tail

♪ Good would prevail
Starships would sail

♪ And none of us
would fail in this life

♪ Not when you're young

♪ We were drawn to whoever
Could keep us together

♪ And bound by
the heavens above

♪ And we tried to survive

♪ Traveling at
the speed of love

♪ Whoa-oh-oh,
when we were young

♪ When we adored the fabulous

♪ Whoa-oh-oh,
when we were young

♪ We were the foolish fearless

♪ Never knowing
the cost of what we paid

♪ Letting
someone else be strong

♪ Whoa-oh-oh,
when we were young

♪ In a moment of grace
A long leap of faith

♪ The still more
glorious dawn awaits my life

♪ I'm here with the lovers

♪ And we burned the bridges
We're crossing over

♪ Just to see the firelight

♪ And the innocent
are getting over
Being old tonight

♪ Whoa-oh-oh,
when we were young

♪ When everything
was what it seemed

♪ Whoa-oh-oh,
when we were young

♪ And every day
was how we dreamed

♪ Never knowing
the cost of what we paid

♪ Letting
someone else be strong

♪ Whoa-oh-oh,
when we were young

♪ And when you look
at yourself tonight

♪ Are you
someone you recognize?

♪ You can take back
what you've given away

♪ But it must be the last time

♪ Whoa-oh-oh,
when we were young

♪ Whoa-oh-oh,
when we were young

♪ When we were young

♪ Whoa-oh-oh,
when we were young

♪ We didn't know
it wouldn't last

♪ Whoa-oh-oh,
when we were young ♪

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