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1
00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:28,594
Mum?
2
00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:31,163
He's.. He's left me.
3
00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:36,101
He.. he doesn't
love mummy any more.
4
00:00:37,438 --> 00:00:40,572
What am I going to do, Lou?
What am I gonna--
5
00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:42,241
Lou?
6
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:49,648
[WOMAN SOBS]
7
00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:57,356
[MAN TALKING ON TV]
8
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:13,672
Ooh, god, I'm gonna die.
9
00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,176
There's a sausage left
in the pan if you want it.
10
00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:19,611
I couldn't eat another thing.
11
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,682
You want half?
12
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:24,817
Go on then.
13
00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:34,326
- Have you got my laptop?
- What?
14
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:36,328
No.
15
00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:37,763
You have, haven't you?
16
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:39,598
Yes.
17
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,534
Donna, can you stop borrowing
my things without asking.
18
00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:44,269
- I asked you.
- When?
19
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:47,406
Well, I didn't ask you outright,
but I meant to.
20
00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:49,374
And what about my power drill?
You've had that for a month.
21
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:50,742
Yeah. The thing about
your drill is I...
22
00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:52,878
...think Karen put it on eBay.
23
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,214
- Well, take it off.
- Well, I can't, because she sold it.
24
00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:56,882
- What?
- I didn't bother telling you because...
25
00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:58,033
she got such
a bad price for it.
26
00:01:58,034 --> 00:01:59,183
Bloody hell, Donna! Well,...
27
00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:01,337
...can you bring my
laptop back, please,...
28
00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:03,489
...I've got an interview
on Monday, and my CVs on it.
29
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:04,957
Yeah, it's round at Sam's.
30
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,424
Ill...I'll bring
it back to you tomorrow.
31
00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,363
It's at Sam's?
What's it doing round there?
32
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:13,432
I thought you didn't
want to talk about Sam.
33
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:14,533
I don't!
34
00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:20,539
- So it's going well with him then?
- Yeah, it is.
35
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,374
It's going really well.
36
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:25,811
So what you doing round here?
Why aren't you at Sam's?
37
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,646
Don't be stupid, Karl.
38
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:28,881
Sam's not the kind of man
to sit round watching...
39
00:02:28,883 --> 00:02:30,249
...'Saturday Kitchen'.
40
00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:33,886
We're going to
an opening tonight.
41
00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,255
What, like a supermarket?
42
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:38,490
What? No,
gallery, Karl, not a super--
43
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:39,783
What are you talking about?
44
00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:41,075
Why would we go to the opening
of a supermarket?
45
00:02:41,076 --> 00:02:42,367
Well, they sometimes have
celebrities.
46
00:02:42,368 --> 00:02:43,659
I'm not interested
in celebrities.
47
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:44,930
Well, why do you
get Heat magazine?
48
00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:46,197
I'm being ironic.
49
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,323
- You don't even like galleries.
- Yes, I do. I love galleries.
50
00:02:48,324 --> 00:02:50,447
What about the time we
went to the Tate Modern...
51
00:02:50,448 --> 00:02:52,571
...you started crying
because your feet were sore.
52
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:54,640
Oh, this is a proper gallery,
like a...
53
00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:57,442
...small one with
wine and a cloakroom.
54
00:02:57,444 --> 00:02:59,611
- You'll hate it.
- I won't hate it.
55
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:01,313
Don't be so negative.
56
00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:03,448
Well, I want my laptop back.
57
00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:17,829
Sorry, do you want some?
58
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:19,932
Yeah, actually.
59
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:25,571
Oh, look at me, Karen.
60
00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:27,739
We never learn, do we?
61
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:30,676
He's made a mess of me,
but I still love him.
62
00:03:30,678 --> 00:03:33,879
- What did he say?
- Oh, the usual excuses.
63
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,847
Not sure if he's ready for this.
64
00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:38,317
Wants more time to
concentrate on his A levels.
65
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,418
How old is he?
66
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:40,485
Nearly 18.
67
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:41,620
18?
68
00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:43,689
In seven and a
half months, yeah.
69
00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:45,390
You mean he's 17?
70
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,327
There was a bit of an age gap.
71
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:51,396
There was a bit of
an age chasm, Eileen.
72
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:52,531
He's not a boy.
73
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,533
And I didn't touch
him until he was 16.
74
00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:56,501
Well, I didn't let him
inside me until he was 16.
75
00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:59,371
Not front doorsies, anyway.
76
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:01,540
Jesus, give me
some more of that.
77
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:02,774
It's his mother.
78
00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:04,543
She's jealous that one.
79
00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,245
She doesn't like the fact that
I'm 10 years older than her...
80
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,946
...and I'm still pulling men.
81
00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:09,647
Eileen,
she doesn't like the fact...
82
00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:10,683
...that you're 10 years
older than her and you're...
83
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:11,717
...pulling her son.
84
00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:13,586
They kicked me out.
85
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,454
You mean you were
living with em?
86
00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:16,722
In his bedroom.
87
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:20,259
I took a pair of scissors
to all his Kanye West posters.
88
00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:21,693
Do you think that's wrong?
89
00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:23,395
Which part?
90
00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:26,265
My little girl hates me.
91
00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:28,533
She doesn't hate you,
Eileen,...
92
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:30,569
...She just hasn't
seen you in two years.
93
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,371
I've been in love, Karen.
94
00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:33,839
Love is cruel.
95
00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:35,741
Well, when it's illegal, yeah.
96
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,343
I've been so stupid.
97
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:41,747
I feel so embarrassed.
98
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,287
Sausages?
99
00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:50,389
Er, no.
100
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:52,691
Bacon? I could do some eggs.
101
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,793
I'm not really...fry-ups.
102
00:04:55,362 --> 00:04:56,862
Have you got a rice cake?
103
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:59,698
No. I could do beans on toast.
104
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,700
I...I'll get an apple later.
105
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:02,834
A mango maybe.
106
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:05,537
So, looking forward
to tomorrow?
107
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,573
Oh, were definitely
doing that?
108
00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:10,842
What? Yeah, I've booked
a cottage and everything.
109
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:12,911
- Haven't you taken Monday off?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
110
00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:14,479
Well, I'll ring in sick.
111
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:16,715
The plan is Sunday
lunch with the gang.
112
00:05:17,051 --> 00:05:19,318
- The gang.
- Then finish the weekend off...
113
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:20,786
...with some sordid
sex in the Cotswolds.
114
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:22,054
How does that sound?
115
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:24,523
Sordid sex sounds good.
116
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,060
Listen, are you sure
you want to go tonight?
117
00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:29,828
- What?
- To the gallery.
118
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,797
Yeah. Course.
Why are you asking me that?
119
00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:33,765
Well, you just seem,
I don't know, a bit hesitant.
120
00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:35,367
No, I wanna go.
121
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:39,071
Yeah, God,
I love galleries, openings...
122
00:05:39,073 --> 00:05:41,840
...and stuff. Art and that.
Bloody hell, I love all that.
123
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:44,459
We'll have fun.
124
00:05:44,460 --> 00:05:46,977
- With the paintings?
- Well, they're not paintings as such.
125
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,814
Oh, that's a relief.
126
00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:50,649
- Give you a chance to meet
some of my friends. - Mmm.
127
00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:52,484
And.. and they know all
about art and.. and things?
128
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:53,685
- Yeah, it'll be great.
- Yeah. Can't wait.
129
00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:58,490
- Are you sweating?
- No.
130
00:05:58,492 --> 00:05:59,958
I can turn the heating down.
131
00:05:59,959 --> 00:06:01,425
Yeah, can you turn
the heating down.
132
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,368
Sorry for slamming
the door in your face.
133
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,570
Yeah, well...
134
00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:14,439
...I suppose it was a shock.
135
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,508
You can't stay.
136
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:17,976
Have I asked to stay?
137
00:06:18,112 --> 00:06:19,611
- No, but--
- No?
138
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,413
- Well, no.
- Thank you.
139
00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:22,881
Right. Okay.
140
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:24,950
Sorry, mum, I...
141
00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:27,152
So you don't want to stay then?
142
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:28,854
- Just for a few days.
- No!
143
00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:31,056
- A week at most.
- No, mum, you can't.
144
00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:34,559
He's left me, Lou.
Mummy's all alone.
145
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:36,862
Mum, you can't keep
doing this.
146
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,231
You only ever remember
you've got a daughter...
147
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,399
...when you get dumped. I'm
not going through this again.
148
00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:42,467
Through what again?
149
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:44,102
Look, mum, it's a bad idea.
150
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:46,071
It just doesn't work out,
you and me.
151
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,206
I always end up
feeling terrible.
152
00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:50,742
I don't know what
else to do, Lou.
153
00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:54,646
Well, I just think you should...
you know?
154
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:56,982
What?
155
00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,017
Piss off.
156
00:07:08,695 --> 00:07:13,632
After you've finished crying.
I mean, there's no hurry.
157
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,935
- You're doing what?
- I'm going to a gallery.
158
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,070
No. I've got a
big night planned.
159
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:20,839
They've got a two-for-one
down at the Marquis.
160
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:22,808
Buy two pints,
get the third free.
161
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:25,110
Then we'll stagger over
to New York...New York's,...
162
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,962
...where its male
wet T-shirt night.
163
00:07:26,963 --> 00:07:28,813
It's going to be a classic,
Donna, you can't miss it.
164
00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:30,749
Okay, it sounds...
165
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:33,985
But er,
Sam really wants me to go.
166
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,471
But it's Saturday night.
167
00:07:36,472 --> 00:07:38,956
- Yeah, but the gallery'll be,
you know, fun. - No.
168
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:41,026
It'll be shit and boring.
169
00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:44,963
If galleries were fun, Donna,
you'd have to pay to get in.
170
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,565
- Are you serious?
- Yeah. But--
171
00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:48,166
Look, sorry, Karen, it's just
he's expecting me there now.
172
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:49,201
But it's Saturday.
173
00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:51,269
Sat-ur-day.
174
00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:53,638
If God didn't want
you to get drunk on a...
175
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,073
...Saturday, Donna,
he wouldn't have created...
176
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:56,508
...the Morning-After Pill.
177
00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:01,580
Look, Donna,
I've got nothing against Sam...
178
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:03,048
...- but he's a bellend.
- He's not a bellend.
179
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,649
Have you checked his drawers?
180
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,685
- I bet he's got matching cutlery.
- So?
181
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:10,956
And you're not
going to enjoy it.
182
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:14,226
They're going to talk about the
war in Iraq and French cheeses.
183
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:17,596
Well, I can talk
about French cheese.
184
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,898
Petit Filous isn't
a French cheese, Donna.
185
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:22,100
They're going to crucify you.
186
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,202
Well, I...I'll just look
at the pictures. I mean...
187
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,104
...pictures are nice,
aren't they?
188
00:08:26,105 --> 00:08:28,005
- You're going to look at the pictures?
- Yeah.
189
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,975
How long are you going
to look at them for?
190
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:33,044
What do you mean?
I'm just gonna....
191
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,112
What, is there a certain
amount of time that...
192
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:35,280
...you're supposed to look?
193
00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:37,816
Oh, god.
194
00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:40,986
Oh, god, this is going
to be a nightmare. I mean,...
195
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:43,221
...Sams like a proper person.
He goes on group...
196
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:45,991
...holidays and
he calls dinner supper.
197
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,543
What if he realizes
I'm not a catch.
198
00:08:47,544 --> 00:08:48,894
You do know you're
supposed to enjoy being...
199
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:51,597
...with your boyfriend?
200
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:54,299
I do enjoy be...love
being with him. It's just...
201
00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:56,001
...spending time with
him I find stressful.
202
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,970
So you're going to leave
me with Louise and Eileen?
203
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,459
Well, she can't be that bad.
204
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:06,043
Imagine Lynne Perrie
crossed with Wolverine.
205
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,347
It's a miracle Louise
turned out the way she did.
206
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,950
A shit miracle, but a miracle.
207
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,655
And so I said, I'm never gonna
get that out of my ear, am I?
208
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:18,156
That's in there for good.
209
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:20,091
- That's five pound, please.
- Mmm.
210
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:22,961
Hang on, I'll just get my purse.
211
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:26,631
Do one!
212
00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:31,970
Sorry about that, Pavlos.
213
00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:36,675
Oh, thank you. Thanks.
214
00:09:37,311 --> 00:09:38,843
Thank you.
215
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:48,286
[DRINK SPILLS]
216
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:03,735
[SNIFFS]
217
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:19,084
Hi, I'm...I'm Donna.
218
00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:22,854
I'm er, Sam's girlfriend.
219
00:10:23,357 --> 00:10:26,024
Wh.. who do you know here?
220
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,226
- I work here.
- Oh, right.
221
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,161
Great.
222
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:35,066
How.. how much is..
is that one?
223
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,435
Why, are you thinking
of buying it?
224
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:40,205
Yeah. Yeah, I am, actually.
225
00:10:40,907 --> 00:10:43,274
My boyfriend Sam's a
photographer, and we like all...
226
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,845
- pictures, art work, posters.
- It's a lot of money.
227
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,047
- Just tell me how much it is.
- 55,000 pounds.
228
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:53,251
It's not much.
I mean, that's...I mean,..
229
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,120
...it's worth it, isn't it?
Its good.
230
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,757
What do you get for that?
Do you get...
231
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,725
...do you get the whole thing,
because that...
232
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:03,395
I mean,
do you get the thing it's...
233
00:11:03,397 --> 00:11:04,913
...its standing on,
because that's...
234
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,430
I mean, do you get...
do you get the plinth...
235
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:07,399
...because that's quite....
236
00:11:07,401 --> 00:11:10,335
No, it's just the sculpture.
237
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:14,339
- How.. how much is the plinth?
- The plinth's not for sale.
238
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:18,743
It's a pity.
239
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:24,315
What about that one?
240
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,152
Yeah, it might
be better to wait...
241
00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:29,287
...until we get to a club
before making any moves, Eileen.
242
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:31,956
Less chance of ending
up with a serial killer.
243
00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:34,092
Skinzo doesn't look his age,
so we don't really go to pubs.
244
00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:36,361
More parties, you know.
245
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,363
He's trying to grow a moustache.
246
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:39,998
I wanna go home.
247
00:11:40,434 --> 00:11:41,833
Look, he's got a friend, Lou.
248
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:43,401
We could move them in together.
249
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:47,739
He's about 50. And he's dirty.
250
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:48,940
I like that in a man.
251
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,775
I'm not talking to him.
252
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:53,778
Just a thought.
253
00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:57,515
It's a bit boring this,
isn't it? I tell you what...
254
00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:58,717
...I'll just pop over
and have a--
255
00:11:58,719 --> 00:11:59,784
Eileen, don't go ov....
256
00:11:59,786 --> 00:12:01,853
Why did you have
to ask her out?
257
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:04,122
What you talking about?
She's fine.
258
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,124
She's gonna ruin my life again.
259
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,460
You might relax a bit more
if you drank more booze...
260
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,128
...instead of Orangina.
261
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:11,796
I need to stay sober.
262
00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:15,500
Louise, we are going to have
a laugh tonight, if it kills us.
263
00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:16,868
Just relax.
264
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:19,738
- This is Max and this is Phil.
- Hello.
265
00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:22,340
This is Karen,
and this is Louise, my sister.
266
00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:24,876
Don't we look alike? Ha-ha.
267
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:28,179
You talk to Max, Lou.
His wife's just died.
268
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:34,552
I've looked at them all.
Shall I look at them all again.
269
00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:35,820
Donna, Donna, this is Alice.
270
00:12:35,822 --> 00:12:37,956
- Hello.
- Oh, so this is Donna?
271
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,157
I'm afraid so.
272
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:41,243
- I've heard a lot about you.
- Oh, it's all true.
273
00:12:41,244 --> 00:12:43,328
Except the stuff about
the pig wanking. That's....
274
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:46,998
- What?
- No, I was just...
275
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:48,867
...I was just joking.
276
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,902
That's Rebecca
Loos anyway, and...
277
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:53,238
...she's a right slag.
278
00:12:57,811 --> 00:13:00,278
Er, have you looked
at all the art works?
279
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:03,948
Oh, no, no. Er, I don't
think I'm gonna bother...
280
00:13:04,851 --> 00:13:07,352
I know, they're a...
they're a bit shit.
281
00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:10,855
...having just spent
the last six months in the...
282
00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:11,990
...studio with them.
283
00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:14,826
This is Alice's
exhibition, Donna.
284
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,227
- Is it?
- Mmm.
285
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,930
Well done. They're er...
286
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,865
I like the one, er...
287
00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:23,868
you know, the one er...
over there, that. Look...
288
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,403
...looks like a big mouse.
289
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:27,071
What's that called?
290
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,541
It's called My Mum's Cancer.
291
00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:32,243
And er, what is it?
292
00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:35,413
It's my mum's cancer.
293
00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:37,115
Okay.
294
00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:40,185
Can I.. can I get you
some wine? It's free.
295
00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:42,020
I know. I paid for it.
296
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:45,256
Let's get some wine,
Donna, yeah.
297
00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:46,958
- I'll come with you.
- Okay.
298
00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:51,162
Er, okay, sorry.
299
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,964
Cards on the table.
300
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:54,666
I don't think they're shit,
I think they're really good.
301
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,367
I just bad-mouthed
them because I thought...
302
00:13:56,368 --> 00:13:58,068
...you might think
they were shit, and...
303
00:13:58,071 --> 00:14:00,004
...I just wanted
to get in with you.
304
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:00,972
Wow.
305
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:05,276
Now I really respect you.
306
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:14,485
[CLUB MUSIC PLAYING]
307
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:29,400
You alright, Louise?
308
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:31,002
This is a nightmare.
309
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:36,917
It's not psychologically
healthy...
310
00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:37,492
...to have your mum
do lesbian dancing...
311
00:14:37,493 --> 00:14:38,067
...with you to attract men.
312
00:14:38,068 --> 00:14:38,642
She's gonna be
dancing even more now.
313
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:40,111
I've just seen her slip
an E up her arse.
314
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:42,947
I wanna go home.
315
00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:46,284
Well, maybe she was just
letting off steam. I mean...
316
00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:48,386
...shes just split
up with her fella, so its...
317
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:52,023
...only natural for her to..
Oh, my god!
318
00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:55,493
Did I just see her drink her
sick back out of that glass?
319
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,996
Oh, no, not the
never ending pint.
320
00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:00,265
They'll chuck us
out for that.
321
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:06,304
But it did look like a mouse,
didn't it?
322
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:07,672
It had big ears and...
and everything.
323
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:09,274
SAM: They weren't ears,
they were tumors.
324
00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:22,153
I can't deal with this, Karen.
325
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:25,123
Fucking hell.
326
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,325
Oi, leave it. Leave it.
327
00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:29,126
- She's not worth it.
- She hit me head.
328
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:31,663
- Are you alright? - Yeah, she
should keep her arms to herself.
329
00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:37,502
[CHURCH BELLS CHIME]
330
00:15:58,024 --> 00:15:59,023
[MACHINE WHIRS]
331
00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:12,570
Find anything interesting?
332
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:15,239
No. Er, no, I was er...
333
00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:18,076
I was just looking
at your cutlery.
334
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,211
Don't worry, it all matches.
335
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:21,045
Yeah.
336
00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:27,318
It's lovely having
you here, Donna.
337
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,721
Thanks. It's lovely being here.
338
00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:34,392
Sam, do you er...
Do you often do these...
339
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:37,261
...you know,
weekends away with your mates?
340
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,597
No. No more than once a month.
341
00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:42,200
- More in the summer.
- Right.
342
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:43,568
You're not looking
forward to it?
343
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:47,472
Oh, no, definitely, I really...
I mean, I'm really...
344
00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:50,675
...really...Sorry about
last night, about Alice.
345
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:53,478
Don't worry about it,
Donna, she's a psycho anyway.
346
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:56,180
Yeah. And they
were a bit rubbish.
347
00:16:58,451 --> 00:16:59,901
No, they're brilliant.
348
00:16:59,902 --> 00:17:01,352
- Are they?
- Of course they are. She's a genius.
349
00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:05,323
Oh.
350
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:09,594
Listen, er, we've still
got a few hours before...
351
00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:11,429
...- we're supposed to meet the others.
- Oh, yeah.
352
00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:14,332
- So, what you doing now?
- Why?
353
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,401
- What do you have in mind?
- Well...
354
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,102
I thought we could
give Johnny and...
355
00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:19,404
...Kat a call and hook up early.
356
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:21,706
- Right.
- What do you think?
357
00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:25,543
I...I think er....
358
00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:28,279
Do you remember where
I put my laptop?
359
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:47,665
Its busy!
360
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:51,335
Oh, fuc...Oh, Christ.
361
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:56,340
- Oh, bloody hell!
- I'll be finished in a minute, Karen.
362
00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:04,782
Eileen, have you been
wearing my knickers?
363
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:08,186
Oh, yeah, do you mind?
I found them on the floor.
364
00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:10,521
I haven't even washed these.
365
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:13,191
Oh, don't worry,
I turned them inside out.
366
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:15,226
So have I.
367
00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:19,497
But I don't understand why
he has to borrow your computer.
368
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,466
- I mean, you've split up.
- Yeah, I know, I know.
369
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,234
I keep telling him,
but what can you do?
370
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:24,435
Well, don't be late.
371
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:25,770
I'll be as quick as I can.
372
00:18:26,372 --> 00:18:27,839
Ah, don't be jealous.
373
00:18:28,374 --> 00:18:29,540
I'm not.
374
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:32,243
- You are a bit.
- No, I just don't want us to be late.
375
00:18:33,146 --> 00:18:34,412
Yeah, sure.
376
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,349
Mr. Jealousy.
377
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:50,628
Look, we need to talk, Louise.
378
00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:52,263
What is it?
379
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:54,632
Let's sit down, shall we?
380
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,307
It's about your mum.
381
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,845
She's a filthy slag.
Get her out of here.
382
00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:17,755
[TV PLAYING]
383
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:21,559
What is it?
384
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:23,461
Miss Congeniality 2 .
385
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:25,696
Christ!
386
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:27,231
I know.
387
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,403
You wanna cup of tea?
388
00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:36,274
Huh? No, no, I can't.
Er, cant...
389
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:39,277
I've gotta get back for
this lunch thing with er...
390
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:41,779
...with er...
391
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:46,684
- This is awful.
- Oh, it's stupid.
392
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,420
- As if you wouldn't see that's a wig.
- I know. I know.
393
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:58,529
There's doughnuts
in the kitchen.
394
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:01,332
Er, I can't.
I've...I've got to meet them...
395
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:02,767
...by 12.30 at the er....
396
00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:07,605
Oh, for God's sake,
that's ridiculous.
397
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:11,409
- Stupid. - That's embarrassing.
I'm embarrassed for her.
398
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:13,377
I mean, its...
its supposed to be the FBI.
399
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,313
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
400
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:17,448
- The FBI wouldn't...You know.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
401
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:27,625
Mum, mum, look.
402
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:30,561
What's this?
403
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,897
I've been carrying this
around with me for years.
404
00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:34,832
I don't know why.
405
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:37,868
I meant to give it you
when I got back from Ibiza.
406
00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:40,705
It's one of those
shitty donkeys.
407
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:42,840
It reminded me of you.
408
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,344
So beautiful and kind.
409
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:50,815
I feel proud of you, Lou.
410
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:53,985
You're the only thing I've ever
done that's turned out right.
411
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:55,920
- Oh, mum.
- I know. I know.
412
00:20:56,322 --> 00:20:57,755
Don't worry love, I'm going.
413
00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:04,328
Mum...
414
00:21:44,871 --> 00:21:47,038
- That's shit.
- So lame.
415
00:21:50,009 --> 00:21:51,442
What time is it, Karl?
416
00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:55,780
Twenty to two.
417
00:21:58,685 --> 00:21:59,684
Mum's staying.
418
00:22:00,853 --> 00:22:02,386
- What?
- She's staying.
419
00:22:02,388 --> 00:22:05,356
What are you talking about,
Louise? She's a nightmare.
420
00:22:05,525 --> 00:22:07,058
It's like living with me.
421
00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:09,393
She's turning over
a new leaf.
422
00:22:09,796 --> 00:22:12,396
We've had a talk, and she
needs to be here with me...
423
00:22:12,598 --> 00:22:13,731
...with her daughter, Karen.
424
00:22:14,534 --> 00:22:16,901
I'm changing, Karen.
425
00:22:16,903 --> 00:22:18,069
I'm just asking for
a little help, that's all.
426
00:22:18,071 --> 00:22:19,837
Wake up, Louise.
427
00:22:19,838 --> 00:22:21,604
The moment some scumbag
with a pair of balls...
428
00:22:21,607 --> 00:22:22,606
...walks in to her life,
she'll be off again.
429
00:22:22,608 --> 00:22:24,408
You're wrong!
430
00:22:24,410 --> 00:22:26,577
I won't be any trouble,
Karen, I promise.
431
00:22:26,579 --> 00:22:28,846
- No way!
- If she goes, I go.
432
00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:30,781
- Louise!
- I mean it, Karen.
433
00:22:30,883 --> 00:22:33,584
I...I know how you feel,
Karen, but we've had a talk...
434
00:22:33,953 --> 00:22:35,753
...and I...I think
I've been indulging in...
435
00:22:35,888 --> 00:22:38,422
...self-destructive behavior.
But that's over.
436
00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:39,990
Just give me this one chance.
437
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:41,859
I don't believe this.
438
00:22:43,963 --> 00:22:46,597
Alright,
but I want my knickers back.
439
00:22:47,033 --> 00:22:48,032
Not now!
440
00:22:48,501 --> 00:22:50,568
Hey! Eileen!
441
00:22:51,003 --> 00:22:53,037
Oh, my god, that's Skinzo.
442
00:22:53,473 --> 00:22:54,438
He's found me.
443
00:22:54,607 --> 00:22:55,840
LOUISE: How?
444
00:22:55,842 --> 00:22:57,542
EILEEN: H.. he must have seen
the address I wrote down...
445
00:22:57,543 --> 00:22:59,243
...for him in his bedroom.
446
00:22:59,244 --> 00:23:00,944
I...I'd better
have a word with him.
447
00:23:00,947 --> 00:23:02,814
He can get very nasty
if he's been on the Breezers.
448
00:23:02,815 --> 00:23:04,682
- How do I look?
- No, you go upstairs...
449
00:23:04,684 --> 00:23:06,183
...and wait in the bedroom.
450
00:23:06,185 --> 00:23:07,168
- Ill deal with it.
- No, perhaps maybe...
451
00:23:07,169 --> 00:23:08,152
Should I go, Lou?
452
00:23:08,154 --> 00:23:09,954
Maybe I should--
453
00:23:09,955 --> 00:23:11,755
No! I want you to
be strong, mum.
454
00:23:11,758 --> 00:23:13,924
I'll sort this out.
Come on, Karen.
455
00:23:21,467 --> 00:23:22,767
Twenty to two?
456
00:23:27,407 --> 00:23:29,607
- I want my woman!
- She's not your woman...
457
00:23:29,609 --> 00:23:31,509
...she's my mum,
and she's not coming out.
458
00:23:31,511 --> 00:23:33,043
You'd better get out of my face.
459
00:23:33,045 --> 00:23:35,112
- Eileen!
- It's over, Skinzo.
460
00:23:35,114 --> 00:23:36,814
It's time to move on.
461
00:23:36,815 --> 00:23:38,515
I don't wanna move on.
I love her.
462
00:23:38,618 --> 00:23:41,018
She's the only woman I've
felt sexually compatible with.
463
00:23:41,421 --> 00:23:44,155
If you don't let me see her,
I'm going to blow myself up.
464
00:23:44,690 --> 00:23:45,689
With what?
465
00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:46,824
Petrol.
466
00:23:46,826 --> 00:23:48,893
Louise, let me talk to him.
467
00:23:50,563 --> 00:23:52,696
Listen, you runty
little alcopopoholic,
468
00:23:52,698 --> 00:23:55,166
if you don't piss off, I'm gonna
filet you with your own blade.
469
00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:57,034
- Karen!
- I'm not going anywhere.
470
00:23:57,170 --> 00:23:58,869
Leenie! I love you Leenie!
471
00:23:59,205 --> 00:24:01,055
Skinzo, listen to me.
I know how you feel.
472
00:24:01,056 --> 00:24:02,906
I know what it's like to be
left, but this isn't the answer.
473
00:24:02,909 --> 00:24:04,675
Eileen's made her decision.
474
00:24:04,677 --> 00:24:05,676
It's not that she doesn't
care about you, but...
475
00:24:05,678 --> 00:24:08,946
...she needs to move on.
476
00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:10,848
I know it's hard to accept,
but sometimes...
477
00:24:10,850 --> 00:24:12,583
...people need to do
what's right for them...
478
00:24:12,585 --> 00:24:14,151
...and right now,
what's right for my mum...
479
00:24:14,253 --> 00:24:15,986
...is to stay here with me.
480
00:24:16,522 --> 00:24:18,055
She's never had time
just to be herself.
481
00:24:18,157 --> 00:24:19,757
Do you understand that, Skinzo?
482
00:24:19,959 --> 00:24:21,625
Look, she knows where you are.
483
00:24:21,627 --> 00:24:24,462
Just give her this time to get
her self-respect back. Okay?
484
00:24:28,768 --> 00:24:30,935
- Babes!
- Leenie!
485
00:24:32,772 --> 00:24:34,839
Oh. Oh.
486
00:24:42,648 --> 00:24:44,181
God, Sam, I am so sorry.
487
00:24:44,183 --> 00:24:45,942
- Where have you been?
- No, because the thing was, right...
488
00:24:45,943 --> 00:24:47,702
...I had to go to Karl's.
489
00:24:47,703 --> 00:24:49,462
- You're nearly two hours late.
- Am I?
490
00:24:49,463 --> 00:24:51,222
God, I'm so sorry.
491
00:24:51,224 --> 00:24:53,657
- What happened?
- Well, the thing is, I got there and...
492
00:24:53,659 --> 00:24:55,192
Have you seen Miss
Congeniality 2?
493
00:24:55,193 --> 00:24:56,726
What you talking about?
494
00:24:56,729 --> 00:24:58,128
I mean, you can't
believe how bad it is...
495
00:24:58,130 --> 00:24:59,763
...but you have
to keep watching.
496
00:24:59,765 --> 00:25:03,000
You've been watching a film?
497
00:25:03,002 --> 00:25:05,503
If you can call it that.
498
00:25:05,505 --> 00:25:06,737
You are joking, aren't you?
499
00:25:06,739 --> 00:25:08,873
I mean, I've been sat here
like a lemon for two hours.
500
00:25:08,874 --> 00:25:11,008
I was worried about you.
501
00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:12,243
That's so sweet.
502
00:25:12,245 --> 00:25:14,445
Donna, are you sure
you wanna be with me?
503
00:25:14,446 --> 00:25:16,646
- What?
- Are you sure you wanna be with me?
504
00:25:16,649 --> 00:25:20,117
Sam, I just....
505
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:21,886
Look, al...alright, look...
506
00:25:22,955 --> 00:25:24,038
...I don't know how
to be with your friends.
507
00:25:24,039 --> 00:25:25,122
- Okay.
- Try saying yes.
508
00:25:25,124 --> 00:25:27,758
- I am.
- You're not.
509
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:28,776
Why wouldn't I want to
be with you? You're great.
510
00:25:28,777 --> 00:25:29,793
Donna, say yes.
511
00:25:29,795 --> 00:25:31,161
What's the big...?
512
00:25:32,565 --> 00:25:35,099
Okay, I...
I'm just taking a while...
513
00:25:35,701 --> 00:25:37,568
...getting...
you know, adjusting.
514
00:25:37,737 --> 00:25:39,103
Then tell me you
want to be with me.
515
00:25:40,339 --> 00:25:42,172
I want to be with you.
Yes, there.
516
00:25:42,575 --> 00:25:43,741
Yes, I'm saying yes.
517
00:25:43,976 --> 00:25:45,843
Right. Okay. Good.
518
00:25:46,979 --> 00:25:48,579
That's all I need
to hear.
519
00:25:57,790 --> 00:25:59,123
I mean, it's a shit film.
520
00:26:00,026 --> 00:26:01,892
You're telling me.
I sat through it.
521
00:26:04,030 --> 00:26:04,995
Well, come on, we haven't got
much time.
522
00:26:04,997 --> 00:26:06,630
What?
523
00:26:06,632 --> 00:26:08,165
We've got a train to catch.
524
00:26:08,167 --> 00:26:09,700
Oh, were still doing that?
525
00:26:09,702 --> 00:26:10,901
Yeah. Do you want to?
526
00:26:10,903 --> 00:26:12,102
Yeah, course.
527
00:26:12,104 --> 00:26:14,371
Well, shall we go?
528
00:26:14,373 --> 00:26:18,075
Definitely. Yeah. Let's go.
Let's go now.
529
00:26:18,077 --> 00:26:22,112
Oh shit! Oh, the laptop,
it's still in my bag.
530
00:26:22,381 --> 00:26:23,697
What? Its going
to have to stay there.
531
00:26:23,698 --> 00:26:25,014
We've got a train
to catch in half an hour.
532
00:26:25,015 --> 00:26:26,331
Yeah, but Ka...Karl
really needs it.
533
00:26:26,332 --> 00:26:27,648
And I really need you
to catch a train with me.
534
00:26:27,653 --> 00:26:31,655
- Because he's got a job interview
on Monday. - Donna!
535
00:26:33,025 --> 00:26:34,792
I want you to think
about this very carefully.
536
00:26:34,794 --> 00:26:35,059
Catch the train with me
or return the computer to Karl.
537
00:26:44,003 --> 00:26:47,171
I'm going to be 15 minutes,
20 at the most.
538
00:26:47,807 --> 00:26:48,606
Right.
539
00:26:48,608 --> 00:26:50,741
- 25 max.
- I'm going, Donna.
540
00:26:50,742 --> 00:26:52,875
- No, but I'm going to catch you up.
- Bye.
541
00:26:52,878 --> 00:26:55,813
No, but Sam, I'm...
Sam, I'm gonna run...
542
00:26:55,815 --> 00:26:59,650
...and I'll be...I'll be really
quick. 15 minutes at the most.
543
00:26:59,652 --> 00:27:01,151
Get me a Twix.
544
00:27:21,307 --> 00:27:25,342
God, it really makes sense
when you've seen the first one.
39573
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