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1
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[SIGHS]
2
00:00:04,105 --> 00:00:06,238
¶ [SOUNDTRACK PLAYING] ¶
3
00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:12,361
What?
4
00:00:12,362 --> 00:00:14,012
Stop. I've finished.
You can stop.
5
00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:16,482
Oh, sorry.
6
00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:29,395
[SIGHS]
7
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:48,180
[PANTS]
8
00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:56,455
[SIGHS]
9
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:36,562
[KETTLE WHISTLING]
10
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:40,432
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING ON TV]
11
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:47,639
I'm meeting your mum later,
sort out the family lunch.
12
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:51,677
Did you call anyone
about the button-holes?
13
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:56,381
Yeah, I'll, um,
I'll give someone a call today.
14
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:58,784
Are you, um...?
Heh.
15
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,186
MAN [ON TELEVISION]: Because there
are signs that say no cycling....
16
00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:03,155
I forgot what I was gonna say.
17
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:04,990
That's because
you're watching the telly.
18
00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:08,460
Hmm. Sorry.
19
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,765
Are you, um...?
20
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,635
-What are you having for lunch?
-Why are you asking me that?
21
00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:20,205
-Just wondered.
-A salad.
22
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:22,808
What do you think
Karen's gonna have?
23
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:25,644
I don't know what Karen's
gonna have for lunch.
24
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:30,616
[REPORTER CHATTERS INDISTINCTLY]
25
00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:35,654
[TOASTER DINGS]
26
00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:39,658
Thanks, Auntie Marg.
27
00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:43,662
-Margaret.
-Uh, no thanks.
28
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,665
The thing is, Margaret,
that, um,
29
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:49,667
I'm not saying that I don't like
Jumpin' Joe's Steak & Grill.
30
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,487
Well, that's settled then.
31
00:02:51,488 --> 00:02:53,305
No, what I was gonna say
was that although I do like it,
32
00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:55,307
and I'm really pleased
you booked it.
33
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:57,192
Ahh, I just think that--
34
00:02:57,193 --> 00:02:59,076
Do you really like it, Donna?
Or are you just saying that?
35
00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:00,746
Oh, yeah. No, I do.
36
00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:02,414
MARGARET:
Great. That's settled then.
37
00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:04,049
It's just, ahh.
38
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:06,451
-Isn't it a chain restaurant?
-So?
39
00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:08,420
-Well...
MARGARET: Donna.
40
00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:11,557
You don't get to sell
garlic bread to people
41
00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:13,525
without knowing
a thing or two about food.
42
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,260
Yeah, but isn't the food a bit--
43
00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:17,262
Yeah,
the food's lovely, isn't it?
44
00:03:17,264 --> 00:03:19,231
Oh, yeah, yeah.
No, the food's....
45
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:21,500
But it's not lovely
for the vegetarians.
46
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:23,468
Oh, there's plenty of choices
for the vegetarians.
47
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:26,705
There's a salad bar,
with croutons.
48
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:29,007
You don't get chips
in Australia.
49
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:30,609
You get fried potatoes.
50
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,229
You don't get chips?
51
00:03:34,230 --> 00:03:36,747
Well, yeah, you do get chips
if you want them.
52
00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:41,486
Um, the thing is,
uh, Margaret, that....
53
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:44,289
I had another restaurant
in mind for the meal.
54
00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:46,208
Oh.
55
00:03:46,209 --> 00:03:48,126
Yeah, it's a lovely little place
called Temples.
56
00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:51,163
Does Temples have a salad bar?
57
00:03:51,165 --> 00:03:54,333
-It doesn't have a salad bar.
MARGARET: Look, Donna.
58
00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:59,571
If you don't wanna go
to Jumpin' Joe's Steak & Grill,
59
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,139
you just tell me.
60
00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:04,676
Okay.
I don't want to go.
61
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:07,746
There, look,
I just think it's a little bit.
62
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:13,085
It's, it....
It's, it's a little bit shit.
63
00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:17,589
Louise,
you're supposed to be working.
64
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,541
I am.
65
00:04:19,542 --> 00:04:21,492
-What do you want?
-Nothing.
66
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,734
LOUISE: Donna.
-Hi. Sorry I'm late.
67
00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:31,069
How's the arrangements going?
Excited?
68
00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:34,640
-Yeah.
-Wow, I can feel the euphoria.
69
00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:38,043
Well, I just found out we're not exchanging
contracts on the wedding day now.
70
00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:41,480
Karl wants to wait a few weeks
for tax purposes.
71
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,248
Romantic.
72
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:45,284
I don't know, it's just....
73
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,319
I mean, I was lying there
the other night in bed,
74
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,354
with Karl, looking at him,
and he was snoring,
75
00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:51,523
and he had a fleck of saliva
in the corner of his lip.
76
00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:54,493
And I just found myself
wondering
77
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:57,462
what it would be like
to chop his head off.
78
00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:02,768
I don't know.
79
00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:04,437
KAREN:
Well, I tell you what.
80
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,105
I've been thinking
about the hen night,
81
00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:07,773
and I'm just gonna say
one word to you:
82
00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,241
Spit-roast.
83
00:05:09,243 --> 00:05:12,111
A couple of escorts I know,
Jamhal and Kevin, nice boys.
84
00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:14,980
Clean, they're going to meet us
down at the Marquis.
85
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:16,415
But Tanya's organizing
the hen night.
86
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:17,983
-What?
-Yeah.
87
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,674
I thought you knew.
She's my Maid of Honor.
88
00:05:19,675 --> 00:05:21,364
I thought you just gave her that
because she's fat.
89
00:05:21,365 --> 00:05:23,054
You can't be serious, Donna?
Little fat Tanya?
90
00:05:23,057 --> 00:05:25,724
No, she's got it all sorted.
We're all going to bingo.
91
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,592
-Bingo?
-She's printed us T-shirts.
92
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:29,127
-Bingo?
-I knew you'd say that.
93
00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:31,496
But it's...
No, it's a laugh.
94
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,265
Tanya goes all the time.
They've got a bar and--
95
00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:35,067
-Bingo?
-You can eat there.
96
00:05:35,069 --> 00:05:37,119
It's not what you think.
97
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:39,170
Sounds great, Donna.
I love old people.
98
00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:42,040
-It's not like that, it's--
-Bingo.
99
00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:06,498
[SIGHS]
100
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,438
Listen, I'm going out now.
so I'll see you later, okay?
101
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,307
Oh, Donna, Mum called.
She said to tell you something
102
00:06:15,309 --> 00:06:17,042
about the restaurant
being booked now,
103
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:19,044
and that she's paying
for the meal.
104
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,045
So it's up to her where
we go, or something.
105
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,181
For God's sake!
106
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:27,152
Have a great time.
We fucking will!
107
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:31,123
-So where we going, then?
-What?
108
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:33,158
Are we going out?
109
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:35,727
And she holds it up to me
and she says,
110
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:39,297
"Mummy, do stars come
from your tummy as well?"
111
00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:41,666
[CHUCKLES]
112
00:06:42,336 --> 00:06:45,504
And I remember the first time
I changed Leon's nappy.
113
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:47,406
Um, I remember
I was standing up
114
00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:49,775
because I had to stand
because of the stitches,
115
00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:51,710
because he ripped me apart,
little buggar.
116
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:55,180
And I was cleaning the poop
from his lovely bottom,
117
00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:56,348
and he got
a little tiny erection,
118
00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:58,851
and he wee'd on my shirt.
119
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:01,353
And I thought,
this is what life's about.
120
00:07:01,355 --> 00:07:05,257
This little bundle of joy,
not me.
121
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,659
I'm just a vessel.
122
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:11,129
But let's get you married first.
123
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:13,765
Well done, Donna.
124
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,300
Now you're one of us.
125
00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:18,069
Tsk, oh!
126
00:07:19,173 --> 00:07:22,240
No, look, hang on, right?
It's 20 quid from everyone.
127
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:25,277
And no, we are not buying
individuals cards, Dianne,
128
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:27,345
because for every
20 cards you buy,
129
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:28,780
you get the 21st free.
130
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,049
So unless you're planning on--
131
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:33,285
-Does that include booze?
-Yeah.
132
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,520
-Three units of alcohol each.
-You're having a laugh, Tanya.
133
00:07:35,522 --> 00:07:37,689
There's more than three units
of alcohol in my urine.
134
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:40,058
Double vodkas all round.
And what do you want, love?
135
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:42,194
Something soft?
Hooch? Carlsberg?
136
00:07:42,196 --> 00:07:43,728
I tell you what,
I'll get you a surprise.
137
00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,748
Actually, Karen,
I could do with a--
138
00:07:46,749 --> 00:07:48,732
With all due respect,
Tanya, shut up.
139
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:53,989
Right, so that's 20 each.
140
00:07:53,990 --> 00:07:55,707
I'm putting in 15
because I'm scootting off early.
141
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,076
-What?
-I'm not going to the club.
142
00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,011
-I'm gonna leave at 9:30.
-What?
143
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:02,097
You're not going to the club?
144
00:08:02,098 --> 00:08:04,182
But it's my hen night.
You're my Maid of Honor.
145
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,551
I know, but we've got to drive
to the coast tomorrow morning.
146
00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:07,719
Why?
147
00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:10,522
Dan's jet-ski weekend.
148
00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:11,957
But, Tanya!
149
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:15,160
What? Dianne's leaving at 10:30.
150
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,329
Are you, Dianne?
151
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:20,665
But, what, I mean,
who else is going early?
152
00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:25,036
What is this?
What's the matter with you all?
153
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,571
This is my hen night.
154
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:30,242
BINGO ANNOUNCER:
"I" is down for a full house.
155
00:08:30,244 --> 00:08:34,112
All the ones, it's the legs 11.
156
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:38,483
One and six, 16.
157
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:41,720
On its own, the number six.
158
00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:44,155
Nine-O, blind 90.
159
00:08:45,459 --> 00:08:49,060
All the two's, 22.
160
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:51,730
Eight-to-two, 82.
161
00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:54,666
On its own, number 4.
162
00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:57,402
One and three, 13.
163
00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,137
Oh, shit.
164
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:04,142
Mmh.
Oopsie.
165
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:08,446
[TOILET BOWL FLASHES]
166
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:11,983
Oh, sorry.
I thought I was alone. Heh-heh.
167
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:18,023
-Dianne?
-Yes?
168
00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:20,225
-Are you happy?
-What?
169
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:21,660
Are you, you know,
are you happy?
170
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:24,396
Happy? Oh, yeah.
171
00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:26,565
-Are you?
-Of course.
172
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:29,568
Max is doing brilliantly,
Isla's loving nursery.
173
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,320
Oh, and Toby's
just got promotion.
174
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,071
-Of course I'm happy.
-Well, what about you?
175
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,006
Can you hand me one of those
towels please, Donna?
176
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,411
-What were you saying?
-What about you? Are you--
177
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:42,314
Oh, that smells nice.
What is it, Molton Brown?
178
00:09:42,316 --> 00:09:45,517
No, I don't think so.
No, look, are you though?
179
00:09:45,519 --> 00:09:48,186
Are you...? Are you..?
180
00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:53,291
[GIGGLES]
Hey!
181
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:56,061
Ooh, just...
182
00:09:57,497 --> 00:09:59,664
[DONNA GIGGLES]
183
00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:04,536
Donna, we are just so excited
that you're getting married!
184
00:10:04,538 --> 00:10:08,506
Oh, come on you, bride-to-be,
hanging around in the toilets.
185
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,609
Let's get you back out there
where the fun is.
186
00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:13,011
Oh.
187
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:15,447
Two-O, blind 20.
188
00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:19,150
BINGO ANNOUNCER [OVER SPEAKERS]:
Eight and seven, 87.
189
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:20,285
House!
190
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:26,191
BINGO ANNOUNCER [OVER SPEAKERS]:
Ah, looks like we have a winner.
191
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:26,991
House! I've won.
192
00:10:26,992 --> 00:10:27,791
GROUP:
She's won! She's won!
193
00:10:27,792 --> 00:10:28,591
The 900 jackpot
going to the ladies in red.
194
00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:31,062
Congratulations, ladies.
195
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,431
[CHEERING]
196
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:36,568
DONNA:
Give us the money!
197
00:10:36,570 --> 00:10:40,372
Look, Donna, I'm trying to help.
I really am, but it was my card.
198
00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:42,607
Tanya, we pooled our cash.
We all won that money.
199
00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:44,509
And, Donna,
if you think about it,
200
00:10:44,510 --> 00:10:46,410
I was the only one concentrating
on the flipping game.
201
00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:47,646
That's hen night money!
202
00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:49,214
Well, yeah.
203
00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:51,249
But technically,
I actually won it.
204
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:54,052
-We can give you your share!
-And I'm going home now.
205
00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:55,687
I can't believe
you're being like this!
206
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:58,289
[SIGHS]
207
00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:02,293
Look, there's no point arguing.
I don't want us to fall out.
208
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:05,697
This is your hen night.
This is your special night.
209
00:11:05,699 --> 00:11:09,167
-So why don't I just lend you--
-Lend us?
210
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,502
A few quid so you can--
211
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:14,105
No, look,
I am gonna give you....
212
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:17,342
There,
I am gonna give you 50 quid.
213
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,244
That is on me.
That is free.
214
00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:22,681
That is a couple of bottles
of Champagne.
215
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:41,533
¶[DISCO MUSIC
PLAYS OVER STEREO]¶
216
00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:52,744
[SOBBING]
217
00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,349
[MUMBLES]
218
00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:04,255
Listen,
get the cab with her, right?
219
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,124
She's got the money,
so get home safe.
220
00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:07,559
-Take your baby home.
-I'm staying!
221
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,450
Yeah!
222
00:12:09,451 --> 00:12:11,340
Okay. Group photo.
Group photo, everyone.
223
00:12:11,341 --> 00:12:13,230
All together.
One, two, three, Sophie Titwank.
224
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,200
ALL:
Sophie Titwank!
225
00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:17,669
Eh, lovely.
226
00:12:17,671 --> 00:12:20,472
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
227
00:12:20,474 --> 00:12:23,308
Listen, one thing,
suggest doing anything.
228
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:24,676
Even slightly unsavory.
229
00:12:24,678 --> 00:12:27,112
Just do it
and then buy yourself next day.
230
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:29,247
-You dropped your shoe.
-I've got loads of them!
231
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,682
-I love you.
ALL: Aw!
232
00:12:30,684 --> 00:12:34,185
DONNA:
I love her. I love her.
233
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:37,822
LOUISE: I've got 600 quid!
DONNA: Yeah!
234
00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:41,126
LOUISE: How did you know
Karl was the one?
235
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,796
I didn't really like
any of my other boyfriends.
236
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:46,631
What made you wanna marry him?
237
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:48,600
DONNA: We've been
together for five years,
238
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,568
so it just felt like
the logical next step.
239
00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:52,187
Wow, that's beautiful.
240
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,805
You should get that engraved
on something for him.
241
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:56,725
DONNA:
No, I mean, it feels right.
242
00:12:56,726 --> 00:12:59,644
It's the right time because
I'm gonna wanna start a family
243
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:02,614
at some stage and buy a house.
244
00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:04,649
You know,
I can't do that on my own.
245
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:08,086
Heh.
Karl is a good man.
246
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:09,988
What do you know about men?
247
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:12,123
-Just saying he's dependable.
-He's dependable?
248
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,526
KAREN:
Terry Wogan's dependable.
249
00:13:14,528 --> 00:13:17,028
But you don't want him blowing
his muck inside you every night.
250
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:20,431
No, because, I mean,
Karl's the kind of man
251
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,333
that any sane woman
would love to settle down with.
252
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,235
-Would you marry him?
-Fuck, no!
253
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:26,688
What?
254
00:13:26,689 --> 00:13:29,140
-I like men who are more....
-Fictional?
255
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,092
-Deeper.
-Deeper?
256
00:13:31,093 --> 00:13:33,043
No, I mean, Karl's great because
he doesn't think too much.
257
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:34,829
Jesus!
258
00:13:34,830 --> 00:13:36,613
No, I mean, he's good because
you know what he's thinking.
259
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:39,083
-So he's predictable?
-But in a good way.
260
00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:40,385
Karen, please explain
what I'm trying to say.
261
00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:42,404
Okay, look, right?
262
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,422
-Imagine Karl's dead.
-What?
263
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:47,659
-No, that's horrible!
-Just imagine he's dead.
264
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:50,829
Imagine a crane fell on him
or something.
265
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:53,598
Please, just imagine, Donna,
for a second.
266
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,768
Heart attack, buried alive,
whatever.
267
00:13:56,770 --> 00:14:01,506
-Okay. He's dead.
-Right.
268
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,341
[SIGHS]
269
00:14:04,778 --> 00:14:07,011
Better, innit?
270
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:13,651
The other nice thing about Karl
is that he'd never hit you.
271
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:17,488
¶[DISCO MUSIC CONTINUOUS
OVER SPEAKERS]¶
272
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:32,036
-Have the drugs kicked in yet?
-We haven't taken any drugs.
273
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:35,373
But it's like it, isn't it?
Come on!
274
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:44,082
[LOUISE GIGGLES]
275
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:46,384
[BAR PATRONS CHEER]
276
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:52,156
[MEN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
277
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:59,364
(CLUB MUSIC PLAYS)
278
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:18,683
(CLUB MUSIC CONTINUES)
279
00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:27,025
I'm not gonna get married!
280
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:30,495
-I'm not doing it!
CROWD: Yay!
281
00:15:32,666 --> 00:15:34,332
[MAN SCREAMS]
282
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:42,173
- I'm in the mood for dancing.
-Karl! Karl! Don't.
283
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:43,808
Oh, feeling a bit delicate,
are we?
284
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:46,177
-Poor baby.
-No, I just feel...
285
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:48,046
You look quite sexy
with a hangover.
286
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:50,648
-Have a good night then?
-Yeah, yeah, it was really good.
287
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,650
-How about yours?
-Yeah, yeah, it was good.
288
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:55,019
Darren brought round
a copy of The Goonies, heh.
289
00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:57,588
-It was mad.
-Yeah, mad.
290
00:15:57,590 --> 00:16:00,291
Um, look, Karl,
I think there's something--
291
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,760
-Ta-da!
-What's this?
292
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:05,063
Breakfast.
Well, to be more precise,
293
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:07,732
some lucky lady's
favorite breakfast.
294
00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:11,602
Wow, this is--
Gosh, I mean, that's fantastic.
295
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:15,440
Well, nothing's too good
for my wife.
296
00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:18,176
Karl, um, I need to talk to you
about something.
297
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,178
Fantastic, I wanna talk to you
about something as well.
298
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,213
I tell you what?
Let's get in position.
299
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:24,199
No, I don't think
that's a good idea.
300
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,184
-Come on, you used to love this.
-Alright.
301
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:32,190
Look, Karl, the thing is--
302
00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:33,591
-Kiss.
-What?
303
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,426
-Kiss first.
-Karl, can't we just--
304
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:38,796
I want my morning kiss first,
or my lips are sealed.
305
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:47,605
I love you.
306
00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:51,709
Okay, me first.
Are you ready?
307
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:53,895
Are you ready
for the best news of your life?
308
00:16:53,896 --> 00:16:56,080
Are you ready to find out what
kind of man you're marrying?
309
00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:58,649
Are you ready
to be the owner of a house?
310
00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,236
-What?
-The house!
311
00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:02,687
I've exchanged contracts
while you were asleep.
312
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,288
-You--?
-Yeah, this morning.
313
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:06,157
-It's all in my name.
-Your name?
314
00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:08,626
Yeah. Well, we can sort all that
stuff out after the wedding.
315
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:11,763
The thing is, we've got a house!
It's ours!
316
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:15,466
Ah, look at you,
you're lost for words.
317
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:17,635
This is great.
318
00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:21,706
Go on then, your news.
Top that, heh.
319
00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:26,677
Well, um....
320
00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:29,647
I'm not sure if I want this.
321
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:32,450
-What, breakfast?
-No.
322
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:34,152
Marriage.
323
00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:35,987
What? I don't....
324
00:17:35,989 --> 00:17:37,488
I think it might be a bad idea
to get married.
325
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:40,191
Heh, no.
326
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:42,160
Is that--? Are you--?
327
00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:45,596
Alright, I mean, are you....?
Is that....?
328
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:49,067
-That isn't?
-I just think....
329
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:51,436
I just think
maybe we're rushing in to it.
330
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:54,172
-I'm not rushing in to it.
-But maybe....
331
00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:56,641
-You know, maybe we're not sure.
-I'm sure.
332
00:17:56,643 --> 00:18:00,044
And that maybe,
maybe we're not ready.
333
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:03,714
-Okay, right. Please don't.
-Karl.
334
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:06,150
Please.
Please don't do this, Donna.
335
00:18:06,152 --> 00:18:08,753
-Karl, don't--
-Please, please, please.
336
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:11,089
I mean, please.
Don't leave me, please.
337
00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:13,558
-Don't beg, Karl, please.
-I want to beg.
338
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,494
Look, is it something I've done?
I can change, whatever it is.
339
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,229
No, no, it's nothing you've--
340
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:19,630
Why? I mean, what have I....?
341
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:21,966
I haven't done anything.
I haven't....
342
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,235
Oh, God!
343
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:28,306
[SOBBING]
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
344
00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:33,244
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
345
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:35,546
Karl, you're scaring me.
You're acting really--
346
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:40,651
[CRYING]
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
347
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:44,188
Please, God, no.
Please don't let this.
348
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:46,290
I don't know what I'm gonna--
I'm gonna--
349
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:51,696
Karl!
Karl, are you okay?
350
00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:54,649
[PANTING]
351
00:18:54,650 --> 00:18:57,601
-We don't even talk any more.
-We can talk now.
352
00:18:57,604 --> 00:19:01,072
Things have gotten boring.
We've become boring.
353
00:19:01,074 --> 00:19:02,940
Well, do you wanna do
a threesome or something?
354
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:05,109
-What?
-No, with a man or something.
355
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:07,011
If that's what you want.
I mean, is that what you want?
356
00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:09,413
-Karl, I don't--
-I'm willing to give it a go.
357
00:19:09,415 --> 00:19:11,682
I just don't wanna touch his....
358
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:13,751
Alright, look, I'll suck it,
but I won't have it in my....
359
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:15,953
Karl,
I just don't wanna marry you.
360
00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:18,189
But you said you would.
361
00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:20,424
Yeah, I know, but you asked me
to marry you three years ago.
362
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:24,395
And when I said yes,
well, I didn't think we'd last.
363
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:26,347
I think I'm going to be sick.
364
00:19:26,348 --> 00:19:28,298
Karl, look, I think you're being
a little bit melodramatic.
365
00:19:30,236 --> 00:19:32,720
[COUGHS]
366
00:19:32,721 --> 00:19:35,205
Right, and that's not gonna....
That's not helping anyone.
367
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:38,242
-I'm dying.
-Look, Karl.
368
00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:41,012
I can't keep going round
and round like this, ok?
369
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:44,482
I'm sorry.
I've made up my mind.
370
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:47,518
[SOBBING]
Okay, Donna. Okay.
371
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:51,355
Alright.
I'm going to clean that up,
372
00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:54,992
and then I'm gonna call your mum
and cancel the lunch.
373
00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:57,461
-No, I wanna do the lunch.
-But, Karl....
374
00:19:57,463 --> 00:19:59,397
You've got to do the lunch.
375
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:01,466
My mum's organized it.
Everyone's gonna be there.
376
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:03,534
Please, just do the lunch,
then we'll sort this stuff out.
377
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:06,304
Oh, Christ!
378
00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:08,472
Alright, look,
we'll do the lunch.
379
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,741
But I'll call your mum anyway
and tell her the wedding's off.
380
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:13,177
Ah, don't tell her
the wedding's off.
381
00:20:13,178 --> 00:20:15,612
-What are you talking about?
-Oh, please don't tell my mum.
382
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:18,516
Well, Karl,
we can't just sit there and--
383
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:20,418
Please, Donna.
Don't tell her, not yet.
384
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:23,187
-Not today.
-What are we gonna say?
385
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:25,590
Well, we'll say nothing.
We'll pretend it's all okay.
386
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,658
No! That's insane!
387
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:30,127
Uh, just give me one more day,
please?
388
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:31,829
Our last day.
389
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:34,599
No, Karl.
390
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:38,569
Okay, Donna.
Okay.
391
00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:43,474
Alright, tell you what,
keep the change.
392
00:20:43,475 --> 00:20:44,808
Thanks a lot.
All the best to you.
393
00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:46,961
Well, you only do it once,
don't you?
394
00:20:46,962 --> 00:20:49,112
-Alright.
-Pop in for a glass of bubbly.
395
00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:57,722
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
396
00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:05,696
[GASPS]
397
00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:07,365
Happy?
398
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:10,701
No! Stop drinking like that!
399
00:21:11,337 --> 00:21:14,205
You look beautiful.
I'm so lucky.
400
00:21:14,207 --> 00:21:16,674
I'm gonna kill you
when we get out of here!
401
00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:19,243
[GLASS DINGS]
402
00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:21,412
Look, I just want to say
a couple of words, if I may.
403
00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:23,047
Ahem, now, obviously,
404
00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:25,249
I'll leave the speech
till the wedding.
405
00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:27,485
But for those of you
who don't know,
406
00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:29,587
they've exchanged contracts
on the house.
407
00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:32,423
[GROUP APPLAUDES]
408
00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:35,626
Oh, look at Donna's face.
409
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:39,497
Sorry, Donna.
Couldn't keep quiet any longer.
410
00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:43,367
Now, I think Karl
wants to say a few words.
411
00:21:43,369 --> 00:21:46,537
[GROUP CHEERS]
412
00:21:46,539 --> 00:21:49,040
-Get on with it, mate!
-Oh, God.
413
00:21:49,676 --> 00:21:53,277
-Oh, God.
-Come on, Karl.
414
00:21:53,279 --> 00:21:55,646
[PANTS]
415
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:57,615
Karl's just, um....
416
00:21:57,617 --> 00:21:59,617
Hangover.
417
00:21:59,619 --> 00:22:01,419
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
418
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:04,121
-So I'm going to speak for him.
-Get used to it Karl.
419
00:22:04,123 --> 00:22:07,224
Yes. Yeah, that's funny.
420
00:22:07,226 --> 00:22:13,197
Karl and I are looking forward
to this wedding, I suppose.
421
00:22:13,199 --> 00:22:16,667
-Give him a kiss!
-Yeah, go on.
422
00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:21,138
[CHEERING]
423
00:22:21,140 --> 00:22:23,741
I love Karl.
424
00:22:24,577 --> 00:22:29,680
Um, well, it's going to be the
biggest and best day our lives.
425
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:35,519
And, uh, to see
so many of you here sharing.
426
00:22:35,521 --> 00:22:37,655
Sharing our love, actually...
427
00:22:37,657 --> 00:22:40,091
Pass the sick bucket.
428
00:22:40,093 --> 00:22:42,426
...means, um, so much to us.
429
00:22:42,428 --> 00:22:44,829
No, it really does
because, um....
430
00:22:44,831 --> 00:22:48,532
Well, you're the people
who matter most.
431
00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:53,070
As we find ourselves about
to begin this new life together,
432
00:22:53,072 --> 00:22:56,407
we feel privileged
that so many of you have, uh,
433
00:22:56,409 --> 00:23:01,212
chosen to be here with us at
the start of a great adventure.
434
00:23:01,214 --> 00:23:03,414
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
435
00:23:03,416 --> 00:23:06,517
This man, this Karl.
436
00:23:06,519 --> 00:23:11,455
He's a good--
He's a lovely man.
437
00:23:11,457 --> 00:23:14,558
And he deserves so much.
438
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,528
Better than me, actually.
439
00:23:17,530 --> 00:23:21,132
And I can only say
that he has embellished my life
440
00:23:21,134 --> 00:23:25,503
with love
to such an extent that....
441
00:23:25,505 --> 00:23:27,805
Donna's cancelled the wedding.
442
00:23:27,807 --> 00:23:30,708
She doesn't love me any more.
Thank you.
443
00:23:33,446 --> 00:23:35,513
[PANTING]
444
00:23:35,515 --> 00:23:39,250
Um, can't remember what.
445
00:23:39,252 --> 00:23:44,522
Um, that, that, that, um....
446
00:23:44,524 --> 00:23:47,625
-I'm just trying to think, heh.
-Get your thinking cap on!
447
00:23:47,627 --> 00:23:49,160
Fuck off, prick!
448
00:24:08,681 --> 00:24:11,982
[SOBBING]
449
00:24:13,719 --> 00:24:16,754
I'm so sorry, Karl.
450
00:24:22,195 --> 00:24:24,028
Karl, no,
that's not a good idea.
451
00:24:24,030 --> 00:24:26,430
What are you doing?
For God's sake, are you mental?
452
00:24:26,432 --> 00:24:28,098
Get off me!
453
00:24:28,100 --> 00:24:32,269
I'm leaving tomorrow, Donna.
Can't hang about.
454
00:24:32,271 --> 00:24:35,239
Oh, God.
455
00:24:36,742 --> 00:24:40,010
Um, right, I'd better thank you
for the, uh....
456
00:24:40,012 --> 00:24:42,213
Okay, bye.
457
00:24:42,215 --> 00:24:44,281
[SIGHS]
458
00:24:45,218 --> 00:24:47,184
Ah! Ow!
459
00:24:47,186 --> 00:24:48,285
DONNA:
Margaret!
460
00:24:48,287 --> 00:24:49,970
Where do you think you're going?
461
00:24:49,971 --> 00:24:51,654
Look, I thought
it was best if I just go.
462
00:24:51,657 --> 00:24:54,258
-You're wrong, it is not best.
-Margaret.
463
00:24:54,260 --> 00:24:56,594
You're gonna get back in there,
you're gonna say you're sorry
464
00:24:56,596 --> 00:24:58,229
and you're gonna marry my son.
465
00:24:58,231 --> 00:25:00,264
I did not buy a 500 pound suit
466
00:25:00,266 --> 00:25:02,766
and spend six weeks looking for
a church with disabled access
467
00:25:02,768 --> 00:25:04,301
for you to just go.
468
00:25:04,303 --> 00:25:07,037
Look, Margaret,
I really love Karl, but--
469
00:25:07,039 --> 00:25:09,540
Good! That's settled then.
Now get back in there!
470
00:25:09,542 --> 00:25:12,610
No, look, I'm sorry.
I really am.
471
00:25:12,612 --> 00:25:15,012
But it would just be wrong
for both of us.
472
00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:17,481
-Not for me it wouldn't.
-I meant me and Karl.
473
00:25:17,483 --> 00:25:19,950
Who gives a shit
about you and Karl?
474
00:25:19,951 --> 00:25:22,418
I've got a table full of guests
expecting a wedding tomorrow.
475
00:25:22,421 --> 00:25:25,623
Look, Donna,
why don't you just marry him?
476
00:25:25,625 --> 00:25:27,658
And if you still feel the same
in a couple of weeks--
477
00:25:27,660 --> 00:25:30,327
I'm not going to marry someone
I don't want to marry, Margaret.
478
00:25:30,329 --> 00:25:33,163
-Why, what's wrong with him?
-There's nothing wrong with him.
479
00:25:33,165 --> 00:25:35,216
[SIGHS]
480
00:25:35,217 --> 00:25:37,268
There's something missing
in my life.
481
00:25:37,270 --> 00:25:40,804
And I realized that last night.
482
00:25:40,806 --> 00:25:44,642
I just wanna feel happy,
Margaret, I just....
483
00:25:44,644 --> 00:25:47,545
I just think life should be fun.
484
00:25:47,547 --> 00:25:51,115
You're destroying
my son's life for fun?
485
00:25:51,117 --> 00:25:55,452
No, that sounds....
Yeah, sort of.
486
00:25:55,454 --> 00:25:57,655
MARGARET:
Well, you have your fun.
487
00:25:57,657 --> 00:26:00,124
Because Karl's better off
without you!
488
00:26:00,126 --> 00:26:01,992
And let me tell you.
489
00:26:01,994 --> 00:26:04,695
Do not expect him to be there
when you come crawling back.
490
00:26:04,697 --> 00:26:07,097
Because I will tell you
one thing about my son,
491
00:26:07,099 --> 00:26:08,599
he has more dignity than--
492
00:26:08,601 --> 00:26:11,435
[CRYING]
Donna, Donna, Donna.
493
00:26:11,437 --> 00:26:14,471
Donna, Donna, Donna.
494
00:26:16,008 --> 00:26:19,677
Donna, Donna, Donna.
495
00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:24,148
Donna, Donna, Donna.
496
00:26:24,150 --> 00:26:25,649
DONNA:
I'm a terrible person.
497
00:26:25,651 --> 00:26:28,152
KAREN:
Come on.
498
00:26:28,154 --> 00:26:30,487
LOUISE:
You're not a terrible person.
499
00:26:30,489 --> 00:26:35,593
[SOBBING] If you'd seen
his face, he was so hurt.
500
00:26:35,595 --> 00:26:38,662
-I'm evil.
-You are not evil.
501
00:26:38,664 --> 00:26:41,332
I know evil,
and you're not evil.
502
00:26:41,334 --> 00:26:44,301
Yeah.
Anyway, you've done it now.
503
00:26:44,303 --> 00:26:46,804
-There's no going back.
-Thank you, Louise.
504
00:26:46,806 --> 00:26:49,807
No, I'm just saying,
even if she did, it's too late.
505
00:26:49,809 --> 00:26:51,675
Too much pain there now.
506
00:26:51,677 --> 00:26:54,745
You can't destroy a man
and then go back to him.
507
00:26:54,747 --> 00:26:57,147
Ow!
508
00:26:57,149 --> 00:26:58,816
Sorry.
509
00:26:58,818 --> 00:27:00,951
[SOBBING]
510
00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:02,419
So where you gonna stay?
511
00:27:02,421 --> 00:27:05,589
-She can stay here.
-Is that okay?
512
00:27:05,591 --> 00:27:08,192
-But there's no room.
-She can have the spare room.
513
00:27:08,194 --> 00:27:10,194
-What spare room?
-The spare room!
514
00:27:10,196 --> 00:27:12,613
What spare room?
515
00:27:12,614 --> 00:27:15,031
The spare room, Louise.
The spare room.
516
00:27:15,034 --> 00:27:19,269
-The shit room.
-Oh, the shit room.
517
00:27:19,271 --> 00:27:21,538
The shit room?
518
00:27:23,709 --> 00:27:25,509
Here we go.
519
00:27:26,145 --> 00:27:27,645
We call it the shit room
because it's where we chuck
520
00:27:27,647 --> 00:27:31,115
all the bits of old shit
that nobody wants.
521
00:27:31,117 --> 00:27:33,150
-So what do you think?
-Heh- heh.
522
00:27:33,152 --> 00:27:36,153
With a brush-brush here,
and a mop-mop there.
523
00:27:36,389 --> 00:27:38,355
I tell you what.
524
00:27:38,357 --> 00:27:40,591
We're gonna leave you
to settle in for a bit.
525
00:27:40,593 --> 00:27:42,459
I'll go and buy us some booze.
526
00:27:42,461 --> 00:27:45,763
So that we can celebrate
your new-found freedom, alright?
527
00:27:45,765 --> 00:27:48,099
Yeah.
528
00:27:48,100 --> 00:27:50,434
Yeah, you know,
I just feel this is gonna be--
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