Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

MAN: Now remember, kids.

It's not every couple that's willing to adopt three brothers and sisters.

So I expect you to behave.

Catch my drift?

Brandon, Kyle, Molly,

welcome to your new home. Come on.

[GASPS]

MRS. NICELY: Molly, this is your room.

Go ahead, open the door.

Wow!

There's more, honey, come along.

MOLLY: Oh, boy!

[GASPS]

[GASPS]

Hi!

[TRAIN HORN BLOWING]

Children,

we have only one rule in our home.

And that rule is...

Keep out of this room.

Do not open this door no matter what.

Do you all understand?

That's fine.

Now, go have fun.

[MOLLY GIGGLES]

[MOLLY LAUGHING]

MOLLY: Thank you.

What do you think's in there?

Bodies,

of the adopted children that came before us.

It's probably just their office or something.

Come on.

KYLE: Molly?

KYLE: Molly!

What are you doing? Get away from there.

It's unlocked!

You just couldn't keep walking, could you?

MR. NICELY: You had to break the rule!

You had to ruin a good thing.

You just couldn't behave.

It's all your fault.

-MRS. NICELY: It's all your fault. -KYLE: It's all your fault.

-MRS. NICELY: It's all your fault. -BRANDON: It's all your fault.

ALL: It's all your fault.

ALL: It's all your fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's my fault.

It's my fault.

It's my fault.

It's my fault.

It's my fault.

It's okay, Molly, wake up.

You're having a nightmare.

Come on, let's go.

We're gonna miss breakfast.

CLIFF: The important thing is, Mr. and Mrs. Lachman

is that we at Mid-Valley know that you would provide

a loving and caring home for any of our children.

Well, thank you,

but we would like a little more time to discuss this.

Oh sure, absolutely. And listen, feel free to visit

as many times as you'd like, okay.

I mean, this is not a decision that should be rushed.

Mr. Haber!

Hey, Molly!

You remember Mr. and Mrs. Lachman, don't you?

MR. LACHMAN: Hi, Molly

It's nice to see you again, Molly.

Thank you, it's very nice to see you again, too.

Also.

Mr. Haber, Kyle found another frog!

He's gonna operate.

What? Well, where did he get the knife?

I left specific orders, no knives.

Um, you'll have to excuse me, okay.

Listen, feel free to call me

if you have any questions at all, okay.

I'll be here right through Thanksgiving.

Kids. [LAUGHS]

Uh, than you Mr. Haber, we will.

CLIFF: Yeah.

[FROG CROAKING]

Mr. Brown, I'm confident

that you can expect a full recovery.

Where is he?

Right there.

Kyle! Kyle! Kyle!

Oh, my God!

[STAMMERING] Give me the knife.

It's not a knife, it's a scalpel.

It's not a scalpel, it's a sharpened spoon.

Now hand it over.

Head's up!

What are we going to do with you three? Huh?

I mean, how many times do we have to have these talks?

I mean, don't you want to be adopted?

Well then, why don't you behave in a manner

that prospective parents will find appealing?

Yes, Kyle.

For Thanksgiving, can we have the smooth cranberry sauce

instead of the lumpy?

Sometimes they leave the stems in the lumpy kind.

Those are grasshopper legs.

They leave them in there to preserve the freshness.

That's just the kind of behavior I'm talking about, Brandon.

Listen, Kyle,

when you perform surgery on live animals,

it kind of makes grownups feel a little uneasy, okay?

And Molly, when I'm...

Where did you get this one?

I found him by the dumpster.

And he had no collar.

She took it off, and she didn't find him by the dumpster.

She pulled him out of a Mercedes.

After she killed the driver.

MOLLY: Did not, you liar!

-Can I keep him? -[PHONE RINGING]

Oh, hang on, he just walked out of his meeting.

TRACY: David Miller.

Oh, here. Listen,

take the wards back to their room and see if you can get

Molly to give you the dog collar, okay?

-What dog? -The dog.

If you can get the collar from her,

call the owners of the dog up

and tell them where they can find their dog.

David, hey pal,

how are you doing? How're they biting?

Three footer?

Yeah, any witnesses?

What, are you kidding me?

Thanksgiving in Florida, that sounds wonderful.

Oh, wait a minute. I can't.

I got nobody here to watch the kids.

No, you know, they've all gone out to visit

cousins and sisters and stuff. I'm stuck.

My father?

[FAKE LAUGH]

MRS. OLSEN: It's a little uncomfortable.

HARRY: I couldn't agree with you more, Mrs. Olsen.

Although you would be surprised to hear how many of my customers

find that chair a little uncomfortable.

This one is good.

That's the Weisman Padded 2000. Well built, well balanced,

hard cushion to stimulate the buttocks.

Personally, I will not sit in anything else myself.

It's a dollar twelve a day, including tax.

A dollar twelve?

How do you make any money at this?

That's the beauty of renting, Mrs. Olsen.

You take this 6 dollar Clear-Thru XKI,

I rent this for twenty six cents a day.

I rent each one of these 200 days out of the year.

Now in terms of annual profit, that's... plenty,

I don't have to tell you.

But the beauty of this is,

you haven't bought something

that you can't bring back if you don't like it.

200 times a year?

Hand washed by my staff.

Brought to your doorstep.

Sterile as molten steel.

Well, you've certainly given the rental business

a great deal of thought.

I've devoted my life to the subject.

So you want me to take care of your children's home

for the next ten days.

Now, is that what you're asking?

Oh, Dad, you'd be doing me a great favor.

-Hey, and listen... -Yeah.

You could bring Mr. Twixel here because the kids love dogs.

How long would you need me for?

Ten days, Dad. You just said it, ten.

Actually, that'll take me through, uh...

And including Thanksgiving Thursday.

You remember Mrs. Pierce, don't you?

She makes a great spread for the kids. I mean, lots of turkey.

Yeah. Is that real turkey? The full bird?

-Of course, it's the full bird. -[DOOR OPENS]

We got any more table lamps in blue?

Nope, all gone.

Hold on.

Here.

And don't forget to charge for the bulb.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Are we gonna just sit here in the dark, Dad?

It's holiday time, all my lamps are rented.

[MUMBLING] Hold on.

-There. -[GROANS]

Now... my duties as the Substitute Assistant Director

will entail what, exactly?

Dad, virtually nothing,

because Thanksgiving is always a dead week.

Dad, you just take a few messages.

You'll watch the football game. I mean, it'll be a breeze.

I'm telling you Dad, I could really, really use the break.

Well, why not.

If a father can't help out a son,

then I say to everlasting hell

with both of them, right? [LAUGHS]

Right. [LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS] That looks great.

-Son... -Yeah.

I've been going over your files here.

I've been studying the entire orphanage operation

and I think I have solved your problem.

Problem? What problem? I don't have a problem.

Nobody said you did.

But it must be clear to you merchandise is not moving

and you're way overstocked.

Now, with the Ward family for example, uh,

Molly, Kyle and Brandon, they have been

sort of on the shelf for quite some time now.

Wait, wait, wait. Dad, Dad, these are children, okay?

This is their home, not their shelf.

Work with me, son.

Now you're in the business of getting these children adopted, right?

Business is slow. Why?

Because you have no viable marketing plan.

No, no, no...

It's because adopting is a very delicate process, okay.

A lot of time and effort goes into making sure that the match

between child and prospective parents is a good one.

Yes!

And this is where the genius of my plan comes in full circle.

Now, are you ready?

Rent-A-Kid.

Okay, I'm cancelling my trip.

No, no, no. Why adopt a child you may not like

and you cannot return?

I mean people have trouble committing to car payments,

much less parenthood.

I'm cancelling my trip

and then I'm calling Doctor Eilenberg, okay. Now, this is--

No, now just a second.

For a small, non-refundable deposit fee,

nobody gets locked in

and we can move the kids around

until we find the perfect match.

Dad, we are talking about flesh and blood kids here!

And I'm talking about a home for those kids.

Okay, look Dad,

I know your heart's in the right place, okay.

But, please, just do me a favor,

when I'm gone just take some messages,

watch some football

and don't get yourself arrested.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

Thank you.

Buenos dias, senor.

Can I start you off with a margarita.

Actually, I'll just have a drink. An iced tea.

Would you happen to know the wholesale price of this?

I really wouldn't

[GLASS CLINKING]

So this guy calls me, nine o' clock on the button.

Says that he has an Abraham Lincoln letter.

He says, maybe he should fax over a copy.

It's a very special piece.

You ready?

Take a look.

-Woah. -May 8th, 1863.

That is just a couple of days

after the South defeated the North at Chancellorsville.

An outline of possible surrender terms

if the North loses any more ground?

Sounds like old Abe was a little nervous there, huh?

This is a significant historical document.

I know! I know!

[BOTH CHUCKLE IN EXCITEMENT]

But it's not a baby, Russ.

No, it's not a baby, Val.

Honey, we've been over this baby thing

hundreds of times.

I mean, before we have a family,

we have to look at the pros and the cons.

We're never going to know until we try.

Do you know how much these kids cost?

I mean, you start talking about diapers

and pacifiers and clothes.

Val, clothes, clothes,

I mean, kids, they wear tons of clothes.

Kids go through a couple of hundred pounds of clothes a day.

RUSS: I mean, they're born and they just start growing.

Can I be honest?

I don't know that we're cut out to be parents.

Yeah, I mean it.

I mean Val, we like cars and laser discs

and those front row seats.

We're "things" people, we're not "kids" people.

Russ, I am tired

of begging strange children to let me hold them.

I'm tired of congratulating pregnant people

who I secretly despise.

[SHOUTING] I want to go to Baby Gap

and buy little overalls.

Hi.

I'm Harry Haber.

Pardon me for intruding,

but at my table I could only hear

bits and pieces of your conversation.

Excuse me, but it was a private conversation.

Absolutely.

And private it shall remain.

Now, how can I help?

Well, as it happens, I'm in the Rent-A-Kid business.

Rent a what did he say?

Kids. He says he rents kids.

It's a whole new open market.

I believe it's gonna shoot to the top like molten steel.

Busy people like yourselves,

asking yourself, do we have kids? Do we not?

What are the pros? What are the cons?

The ups, the downs.

You know, have we made a wrong choice?

I mean, you can't take it back, you know.

You can't return them.

There's no exchange, you know. Right?

Wrong. Because, why?

Harry Haber is here.

You rent live children?

Yeah. Now, I'll tell you what I'm willing to do

as a special introductory offer.

I have a family of three.

Two boys, one girl.

Ages five, ten and thirteen.

All in mint condition.

Now, I'm willing to let you have all three

at the usual single weekly rate.

No. I don't think so.

Why not? Why not give it a try?

Get a feel for each age.

At the end of the week,

then you can bring them back. No harm. No foul.

Well, I'll tell you what. You think about it.

If you change your mind, give me a call.

I also rent popcorn machines and weed whackers.

That was pretty wild tonight, huh, Val?

That, uh, Rent-A-Kid guy.

Yup. We'll see.

We'll read he was an escaped prisoner.

Yeah.

You know, in some ways though,

and I mean very few,

the idea of actually renting kids...

It would sort of, let you kind of,

test it out a little bit though,

without actually committing to it forever.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Well, I guess you can find something good

in any idea if you look hard enough.

Right, right.

But this particular idea,

you know, with us kind of on the fence about it a little bit.

You know, to actually experience

having a few kids around

for a limited amount of time.

VALERIE: Yeah.

Russ...

Are you telling me you want to rent-a-kid?

No...

[SCOFFS] Of course not.

Yeah.

You think we can just rent some kids

and return them when we're through?

Well, I just think that it might help us decide

if having a family is something we really want to do.

But, they wouldn't be our kids.

Exactly.

But, after a week, if we still want a family,

then we must really want a family.

Well, what if we got a bunch of kids we hated?

Kids that would never be like ours

if we raised them on our own.

Well, I guess we'd mix that into the equation

and we'd try again.

But if we keep renting and we keep having problems,

well, I think we've learned a valuable lesson.

Val...

Look,

I like my life right now.

I love it.

I love everything about it.

But, I also love you, very much.

Now, I know how important this is to you.

So I'm willing to give it a shot.

Then we'll see.

Excellent profile. No police record.

And the credit's fine.

Except for this one late payment on lingerie.

I assume that purchase was for your wife.

Of course it was for my wife.

Of course. Alright then, now when would you

like to take delivery of the children?

Could you not... put it that way?

Wouldn't think of it.

What would be a good time for your rental period to begin?

Let me see now.

I have the next ten days available.

Oh, no. I'm sorry. That won't work for us at all.

We have a big auction the day before Thanksgiving.

So, we can start sometime after that.

Oh, well. No, that won't work for me.

Let's see.

I have the next ten days available.

Yes, you said that.

[WHISPERING] He just said that.

Excuse me, but why are the next ten days

the only time we can make this happen?

Uh, well, it's simply that, um,

this is a trial experiment.

And the experiment ends ten days from today.

[CHILDREN CHATTERING]

Maybe we can do it.

No, honey. We have a lot of work to do.

Well, it'll be like real life.

We've got to make time for our kids, right?

Excellent parental thinking, Mrs. Syracuse.

No one leaves this world

wishing they'd spent more time at the office,

my own pop aside.

[CHUCKLES]

I think we should try it.

-You do? -Yeah, I really do.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Okay, we'll try it.

Just initial the box down there,

merchandise accepted and I'll walk it on through.

Very good. Thank you.

[SIGHS] Well...

The worst that can happen is what?

I mean, we have a rough ten days, huh?

-[LAUGHS] -Right?

-[LAUGHING] Right. -[LAUGHING]

We learn a few lessons.

I wonder which ones are ours?

[CHILDREN GIGGLING]

I hope it's not that kid operating on the stuffed animal.

KYLE: We're gonna be adopted?

HARRY: Well, not in the traditional sense.

It's more like a lease option.

You see, I've met this wonderful, young couple

who wants to experience the joys of family living,

and I thought you swell kids would be perfect

to provide the right atmosphere.

So we're gonna be "atmosphere"?

Brandon, don't put words in my mouth now.

I want you kids to look at this

as a step in the right direction.

We can stay together?

More importantly, you get to stay together.

The Syracuses have a big home and lots of room.

Did Mr. Cliff Haber sign off on this?

Now son, don't worry about

who signs off and who signs on this.

Just think about the great time you're going to have.

What's so great about it?

What's in it for us?

Well, for starters, they've got a dog.

-They've got a dog. -Yes!

They've got a dog. They've got a dog.

MOLLY: I thought we were going to live in a house,

not a building.

This is it? There's not even a yard?

Uh, alright kids,

now you're going to have to make some adjustments here.

As you may have noticed, there is no backyard.

Let's get moving.

Don't want to miss our delivery time.

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

We don't have to answer.

[SIGHS] Last moment together as single people.

[BOTH CHUCKLE NERVOUSLY]

For ten days at least.

[SIGHS]

HARRY: Hi folks. Molly, Kyle, Brandon Ward.

I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Russ and Val Syracuse.

Hi, I'm Valerie.

I'm Russ. [CHUCKLES]

It's nice to meet you. Come on in.

Here we go.

[GUN FIRING]

Uh, kids!

There's a lot of things that you see here in the apartment,

the TV, the stereo, things on the walls,

the walls themselves.

These are grown up things.

They're not for touching, okay?

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] That's very welcoming.

Um, come on,

put your stuff down and make yourselves at home.

Ah, Molly?

Is something wrong?

She's trying not to sneeze.

Why is she trying not to sneeze?

Brandon told her people can only sneeze so many times

before their heads explode.

I'm at my limit.

-She is. -[VALERIE CHUCKLES]

Molly, Brandon, I think is just teasing,

you can sneeze as much as you want.

Nothing bad's gonna happen.

[SNEEZES] That was close.

[LAUGHS]

I don't see a dog.

-That's because we don't own... -I took the liberty

of telling little Molly that you owned a dog.

[CHUCKLES] But we don't own a dog.

Well, now to be honest with you Mr. and Mrs. Syracuse,

uh, a little give and take was necessary

to ensure the children's compliance.

They didn't wanna come?

Oh, yes. They wanted to come.

But to be honest with you,

a little give and take was necessary

to ensure the children's compliance.

He's repeating himself again.

She came here expecting a dog.

How could you lie to her like that?

If you like, I could rent you a dog.

-You rent dogs? -Oh, yeah.

Uh, Molly. The dog is at the vet.

-We'll pick her up... -Him.

We'll pick him up later.

Okay?

Oh, this is a brief list of things

that could help the children

through difficult transition periods.

Uh, well, what a fine looking family.

I'll see you kids all in about ten days.

[PAGER BEEPING]

VALERIE: Do you need the phone?

Could I borrow your phone?

In the kitchen.

Oh.

RUSS: Kids, do you have any questions?

Anything at all you'd like to know?

Where do you keep the sharp knives?

Hey, Dad! Listen, terrific news.

Yeah, listen, I just hung up the phone with the Lachmans

and they wanna adopt Molly Ward.

Well, that is good news.

[OVER PHONE] They're going to sign the papers

after the holidays but tell Molly now.

And wish her a Happy Thanksgiving for me.

Will do, son.

Can I give her any idea when the papers will be signed?

-[LINE DISCONNECTS] -Hello?

Ah.

Well, I guess I just have about the best news

that anybody would want to hear.

Turns out that our little Molly's gonna be adopted.

[CHUCKLES] That's wonderful!

Well, congratulations, Molly.

HARRY: Yes, Sir!

It looks like after this rental termination,

you're going to be known as Molly Lachman.

What about my brothers?

Well, I guess, they'll continue to be known as Brandon and Kyle.

Ah, we'll take care of it.

The sibling bond.

Is there anything mightier?

I don't want to be adopted alone.

It'll be okay, Molly.

It'll even be great.

I bet you'll live in a real house,

with a real backyard.

And plus, we'll probably see you all the time.

I don't care. I don't wanna go.

What the heck is this?

What does it look like, stupid?

It's a drinking fountain.

You know, I was thinking.

If we got these people to like us,

I mean really like us,

maybe they'd keep us.

All of us?

That means we could stay together?

Guys, let's behave.

ALL: Yes!

RUSS: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy there, Kyle.

It's a first year issue G.I. Joe

that's worth about $4,000.

Hi.

No, no, Kyle's ten.

He's a real big doctor fan.

He wants to be a brain surgeon, in fact.

Really? That's funny because that's how old I was

when I decided to become a surgeon.

RUSS: Well, anyway, the little guy's made...

Quite a name for himself.

He practices brain surgery

on just about anything he can find.

[TOY CLATTERS]

Kyle, you ripped Joe's head off.

Pick it up! Pick his head up.

Bring it here.

Bring it here. Maybe we can jam it back on.

Russ, you need a doctor?

Oh, no. Listen, Craig.

Is there any chance we can come by?

Just for a couple of minutes?

Please?

[CHUCKLES]

I can play with it?

Sure, you can.

It's yours.

I don't have to share?

Uh-uh.

Let's go in the car, Stacie.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Okay, Barbie.

Um...

Where should we go?

I don't know.

Well, we can go anywhere in the whole world.

So, where should we go?

Out to lunch.

Out...

Molly, would you like me to take you out to lunch?

For real?

For real.

[DOORBELL RINGING]

Who is it?

It's Lawrence Kayvey.

Your doorman.

Hey-hey-hey. Hey.

How you doing?

Wait. Ah!

Brandon, right?

Well.

You kids getting settled in okay?

Kyle mangled his hand in the garbage disposal.

Well, those things happen.

Civil War photography.

You like photography, huh?

-I like the Civil War. -Yeah. Yeah.

That was a big one.

War Between the States, they call it.

You know why they call it that?

Duh. 'Cause the states were at war?

[SIGHS]

That was an easy one, huh?

RUSS: Val? Honey?

Hi, Lawrence. You need something?

No, sir. Just your express mail.

Valerie!

Why're you shouting?

I'm not shouting.

"Preliminary authentication report on the Lincoln letter."

An Abraham Lincoln letter?

-Can I see it? -Signature's real.

Thank you for the autograph, Abe.

When are we going to lunch?

Right now, honey.

Molly and I are going out to lunch.

-Just the two of us. -Now?

Oh, no. You can't go now.

Kyle and I are gonna go on the hospital tour now.

Well, so, take Brandon with you.

I'm sure he'd love to go.

The ammonia smell makes me hurl.

He hurls, honey. [CHUCKLES]

Can't he go with you?

Is Brandon coming with just the two of us?

If you'd like, I can take care of Brandon.

-You could? -Sure.

I mean, if it's okay with the big guy.

[CHUCKLES]

I've got TV downstairs

and a bag of pretzels.

What do you say, Brandon?

TV, bag of pretzels.

Sounds like a party.

That's a trooper. All right.

Here. You take this.

Put it some place safe. There.

Okay. We'll see you later.

VALERIE: Have fun, Kyle.

Brandon, are you sure it's okay?

You could come with Molly and me if you'd rather.

[CHUCKLES] No, it's okay.

I'm used to strangers looking after me.

He'll be fine Mrs. Syracuse.

You and Molly go out and have a great lunch

and don't worry about a thing.

KYLE: She didn't even look. Maybe they've got some in the back.

Well, Kyle, I'm sure if they did have

any intestinal organs for sale,

they'd be right up front by the register.

Russ?

-Hey, Craig. -Hey.

Now, this must be

the brilliant future surgeon that you told me all about.

This is the one.

Kyle, say hello to Dr. Leff.

Hi.

-Very nice to know you, Kyle. -Thanks.

Are those real guts on your shirt?

Uh...

Sorry, no. It's, uh,

real hospital commissary food.

-[CHUCKLES] -But...

I could take you to see an operation if you'd like.

Cool!

RUSS: A real operation?

'Cause remember, blood has that

adverse effect on my consciousness.

It's a routine bypass.

You won't see much unless they get a gusher.

Come on, Kyle.

-DOCTOR: Scalpel. -[MONITOR BEEPING]

KYLE: What's that orange stuff they're spreading all over?

CRAIG: That's Povidone-iodine. it's an antiseptic.

Keeps the patient from developing infection.

What're they doing now?

Well, now, Dr. Luchessi is using a scalpel

to open up the patient's chest cavity.

Oh, boy.

I could do that easy.

How do they keep the guts

from spilling onto the floor?

Oh, jeez.

Well, first off, you see the internal organs are attached.

It's not like they're just floating around

inside of our bodies.

There's some blood spillage. But that's about it.

-[BLOOD SQUIRTING] -Whoa!

Now, that's a gusher.

[TOILET FLUSHING]

I'm very sorry.

Patient stopped gushing?

Yeah. He's under control.

You all right?

You know, Kyle's really something else.

He's got a real surgeon's mentality.

He's ready to go down there right now and start cutting.

Really?

Well, I...

Better keep an eye on him then, huh.

Where is he by the way?

Went to the bathroom.

I just came from the bathroom.

I didn't see him in the bathroom.

Well, I showed him where the bathroom was.

He said that's where he was going.

Did you actually see him go in to the bathroom?

Well, I didn't watch him disappear inside if that's what you're asking.

Of course that's what I'm asking!

Oh, this is great.

Our very first outing and I've lost him.

Kyle?

Kyle!

NURSE: Do me a favor. Tell Mr. Newman

I'll be in in a minute to numb his shoulder.

Kyle!

[OBJECTS CLATTERING]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm extremely sorry.

Oh.

Uh-oh.

Kyle!

I'm sorry.

That's blood.

Kyle!

Kyle!

Kyle!

Kyle!

I'm very sorry.

Kyle!

Have you seen Kyle?

I can't find him.

Oh, my God!

[OBJECTS RUMBLING]

DOCTOR: Doctor, would you help with this incision?

RUSS: [SHOUTING] No! Don't let him operate!

He's only a kid!

What's this guy doing in here?

I'm extremely sorry.

I thought it was the boy I rented for ten days.

[GROANING SOFTLY]

Kyle?

He made a detour at the candy machine.

Russ, you didn't?

Hey, Mr. Syracuse, can you get me inside?

VALERIE: Do you like it here?

MOLLY: Better than the cafeteria.

Is that where you eat your meals, Molly?

In the cafeteria?

One time I fell off the monkey bars

and the nurse let me eat in her office.

But then I barfed,

and she yelled at me

because I got it all over her new shoes.

[SOFTLY] Okay.

Here you are, ladies.

Thank you.

Your daughter is such a delight.

Oh, no. Well, she's not actually...

She really is a delight. Thank you.

So, what are you hungry for?

What are you hungry for?

I don't know. Should we have a look?

Okay. They've got Waldorf salad. Do you like salad?

Sometimes cucumbers give me hives.

Well, then maybe not.

They have a terrific seafood dishes.

Sauteed scallops.

Chicken. They have chicken cordon blue.

Ladies,

have you decided?

Yes. I would like the oysters, please.

-Hmm-mm. -And trout almandine,

no salt, very little oil,

baked potato dry and no butter on my asparagus.

Very good.

And for the little lady?

Do you have grilled cheese?

Grilled cheese?

Cheese, grilled?

White bread.

No burnt, please.

Mmm-hmm.

You know what?

Grilled cheese sounds great. I'll have the same.

Two grilled cheese.

No burnt.

[CHUCKLES]

[SLOW MUSIC PLAYING]

Your move, Lawrence.

Call me Larry.

Lawrence is my professional name.

Is that why you are so nice to everybody all the time?

You're being professional?

What? I can't just be a friendly kind of guy?

Okay.

It is also my job. But what am I gonna do?

Sit around and mope about it?

I wanted to be a shortstop,

but I'm a doorman.

I think you made the right choice.

Well, sometimes, Brandon, you don't get to choose.

And as hard as it is, you just have to move on.

-Check. -Anyway, I figure if I'm gonna be a doorman,

I might as well be

the best doorman

in the history of doorman.

Wait a second. You are actually giving me advice?

I'm fine. You're the one who is in check.

[PAWN RATTLES]

Checkmate.

Brandon,

you ever hear this one?

"Nice things happen to nice people"?

Yeah.

My mom used to say that.

Didn't work for her, did it?

All right. Come and get it.

Here's the popcorn-man.

What is this thing?

That is my massage chair.

It's a chair that kind of massages.

Russ' back hurts him once in a while. It helps it feel better.

What's this button for?

No. That button tells that

chair just how hard to work, huh.

And it works just the way Russ likes it.

There we go. Thank you.

Kids, this is an adult chair.

So, we won't be touching it.

Okay?

Do you have any paper I could draw on?

Paper is good.

With a pencil, not on the couch.

It's in my briefcase, right on the counter.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

So, everyone have a pretty good day?

Generally speaking?

I think I saw Lawrence's face on America's Most Wanted.

Maybe we should call the police.

[CHUCKLES]

Boy, Brandon, you certainly like

to use that imagination, don't you?

He lies all the time. Don't believe anything he says.

I do lie sometimes, Molly.

But that gum you swallowed was radioactive.

[CHUCKLING] He's just teasing, honey.

And you will grow to abnormal proportions.

Brandon... Brandon, I think you're

scaring your little sister there, aren't you?

Fine. But she'll wake up tomorrow morning

nine-feet tall and glowing like a light bulb.

Hey, we're supposed to make 'em like us.

[DOORBELL RINGING]

Good evening, Mr. Syracuse.

I took the liberty of stopping by the vet

to pick up your dog and I'm delighted to say

he's as healthy as a horse.

He is a horse.

VALERIE: Oh, my God.

RUSS: It's not my dog.

You brought me the wrong dog.

[CHUCKLES] My dog is a completely different dog.

-What's his name? -HARRY: Mr. Twixel.

I believe, isn't it?

Molly, you're really a very lucky girl.

I talked to Mrs. Lachman this afternoon.

You know what they've done?

They've got you your very own swing set.

That's very nice of them,

but it's not over until the fat lady sings.

Not at all.

Sings what?

Hi, I'm Molly and these are my brothers Brandon and Kyle.

You already know your mom and dad.

-[DOG BARKS] -[CHUCKLING]

Is there anything more precious

-than a little girl and her pooch? -[KIDS CHUCKLING]

That is not a pooch.

That is a brontosaurus.

Now, you said you'd rent us a dog.

Now, I want you take Trigger out of here

and I want you to bring us back a tiny,

tiny little dog.

-Look... [LAUGHING] -[DOG WHIMPERING]

-[HARRY LAUGHING] -Are you hungry?

Honey,

why don't we let Mr. Twixel stay the night

and then Harry can bring us another dog tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

By tomorrow he may eat through to the next apartment.

Oh, I doubt that Mr. Syracuse.

He won't make that mistake again.

One minute.

KYLE: Whoa, you're a big fella!

Now, Mr. Twixel eats three hearty meals a day.

However, and this is important,

no fried foods.

Good night.

We'll put away the breakables.

How bad can it be?

[DOOR OPENS]

How do you like being a mom so far?

I liked a lot about today.

Sometimes I just wanted to hold Molly close and never let go.

And then, other times

I felt so trapped.

Like my life wasn't my own any more.

It was being controlled by these... [EXHALES DEEPLY]

small people.

[CHUCKLES]

I don't think I know yet. How about you?

Well,

I think I'm learning a very valuable lesson.

Hmm.

[RAIN PATTERING] [THUNDER RUMBLING]

It's weird.

What?

What did you do when you were a little kid

and you heard thunder?

I ran into my parents' room.

Oh, honey, come on.

I mean, they're tough kids.

They've had to be.

I guess in nine days they'll be that much tougher.

-Hi. -Hi.

[CHUCKLING]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

The kids.

Now, you be nice.

I'm always nice.

Coming!

[VALERIE SCREAMS]

[DOG WHINING]

I can see this dog

is going to be a big,

big problem.

When will breakfast be served?

[CHUCKLES]

[VALERIE SCREAMS]

[WHISPERING] ...ever do.

[WHISPERING] I'll move them later.

-Thank you, my dear. -Oh, you're welcome.

Molly?

Did you ever turn those stereo knobs back down?

[SPARKS]

[ALL GASP]

I don't think our behaving plan's working too well.

Dan, you made this seem kind of important.

[CHUCKLES]

What's going on?

Your partners haven't skipped town

with all our money now, have they?

[LAUGHS] No, nothing quite that bad, no.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

So, how is the auction coming?

Dan told me about the Lincoln letter.

How fascinating.

It's great. It's a great piece.

It's in terrific shape.

It's full of historical significance.

It couldn't be better.

We're optimistic it's going to bring us a hundred thousand.

That's good to hear.

Now, why, Dan?

Why is that good to hear?

-Uh. -WAITER: Here you go, ma'am.

No, no thanks. Nothing for us.

-Are you guys pregnant? -[BOTH LAUGHING]

Eleven weeks. We just found out a couple days ago.

Well, hey, that's wonderful.

That's wonderful. That's great news.

Yeah, it really is. We didn't even know you were trying.

So, six months from now, no more just jumping in the car

and driving down to the club.

We're gonna have to find ourselves a babysitter first.

That's right. [CHUCKLES]

You're gonna have to find yourselves a babysitter.

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

[GASPS]

-The kids! Cheque! -What kids?

RUSS: What are we gonna say to them?

VALERIE: Anything but the truth.

[DOOR OPENS]

Kids!

Hey, there they are.

See, I told you they'd be back.

-Hi. -[SIGHS]

Gosh, yeah. Of course we're back.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Look, Val and I...

See, she thought I was home, I thought she was...

-You forgot about us. -No.

No, no. That's not what happened at all.

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING ON TV]

Actually, yeah.

That's what happened.

Uh, the truth is,

we've never had anyone else in our lives

that we had to be responsible for.

And that's no excuse at all.

Guys, we're very, very sorry.

Was that a "I forgive you" shrug?

Or was that a...

"I don't wanna know from you" shrug?

Listen, I don't know what happened.

We just kind of forgot.

[SCOFFS] It's no problem.

I figured when you didn't get home on time,

must have been something like that.

But they were okay?

The little one was a bit worried.

But otherwise they were champs.

What about the animal?

I haven't heard a peep all night.

Thank you, Lawrence.

I owe you one.

Molly?

Molly, we're really sorry.

We would never, ever, just go away

and never come back, honey.

That's what my real mom did.

Mmm.

I promise you, we'll never go away

and leave you guys like that again.

Okay, Molly?

You mean, you're gonna adopt us?

All of us?

Uh...

Molly, sweetie,

you're already gonna be adopted, remember?

Mr. and Mrs. Lachman? The swing set?

She'll be fine.

She just misunderstood.

[VALERIE SIGHS]

[CHILDREN CHATTERING]

[DOOR LOCK OPENS]

Mr. and Mrs. Lachman here to see you.

Uh, come in, folks. Take a seat.

I thought I told you to wear civilian clothes.

Sorry, I forgot.

You've got to think, Miguel.

You know it's our brains that separate us from the animals.

Well, now...

What can I do for you nice folks today?

Well, actually, we were supposed

to be with my parents in Boston for the holiday, but...

But we decided we just couldn't live another day without Molly.

Oh, I understand your feelings completely, Mrs. Lachman.

Now, what can I do for you nice folks today?

We'd like for Molly to come spend Thanksgiving with us.

We spoke with your son last night

and he said there wouldn't be a problem.

Oh, no. No, no problem.

Unfortunately, Molly isn't here.

-She's not here? -Uh, where is she?

Well, that's confidential information, Mr. Lachman.

I tell you, you slip to somebody

and the next thing you know, we're on a mailing list.

What? What's he talking about a mailing list?

The bottom line is that Molly and her brothers

are going to have Thanksgiving dinner

with a very nice couple I met in a Mexican restaurant.

Now you have to agree that

that opportunity doesn't come along very often.

I think maybe we just better call Mr. Haber.

I think that's a good idea.

No need to call Cliff.

Molly will be back in the shop first thing Friday morning.

I can have her cleaned up and out the door by noon.

[DOOR CLOSES]

No wonder poor Cliff is getting an ulcer.

BRANDON: Kyle?

Kyle?

VALERIE: Are you saying we're broke?

TERESA: No, that is not what we're saying.

You're nowhere near broke.

DAN: But you put the bulk of your money

into real estate partnerships

and those properties have undergone

some very serious depreciation.

TERESA: The important thing is to curb your expenses

and stick to this budget until we can regroup.

RUSS: Yeah, well, I think the important thing

is that this auction makes a lot of money.

DAN: Do you hear that, Mr. Lincoln?

TERESA: We have a lunch meeting,

so if you'll look over the budget, we'll talk later, okay?

RUSS: Okay. Thanks for the good news.

[DOOR OPENS]

Brandon, were you out here listening?

Uh-uh. I just wanted to tell

you guys something about this letter.

Brandon, what are you doing?

This is a very adult thing.

It's definitely not for touching.

[SIGHS] I don't think it's right.

Of course it's not right.

It's never right to touch somebody's

Lincoln letter without permission.

[STAMMERING] I don't mean that.

I think it's fake.

Val, you wanna...

Come on, I'll show you downstairs.

I'm not lying.

Lincoln wasn't at the Hotel Savoy on May 8th, 1863.

He was at his sister's farm outside Rochester.

I read it in that Civil War book you bought me.

Brandon, I don't know if this is some kind of bid for attention,

but in this house we don't reward lying.

But he wasn't at the hotel.

I can't wait until Thanksgiving.

Me neither. Just us and Russ and Valerie.

Like a real family.

Yeah, for a couple more days anyway.

You mean they're not going to adopt us?

I don't think we should hold our breath.

They like us pretty much, don't they?

And they want kids.

You think they want kids who've blown out their stereos,

spilled milk on their furniture,

left gum in their car?

Besides, they think I'm just a big liar.

You are a big liar.

Sometimes I'm not.

Besides, they're having money problems

and they can't afford to keep us anyway.

What's "money problems"?

It means they don't have enough money

to buy stuff like margarine.

How do you know they do?

I heard them talking to their lawyers,

or whatever they were.

Maybe we could help them.

Maybe we could help them get more money.

BRANDON: That's a nice idea, Kyle,

but we'd probably have to rob a bank or something.

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

-Lawrence, hi. -Hi.

-Thanks for coming. -No problem.

Auction day, huh?

You know how it is.

Um, It's just gonna be Molly,

-the boys are coming with us. -Oh, great.

MOLLY: Larry, come and watch T.V. with me.

Gonna show them the family business, huh?

Yeah.

Sharp suit, Mr. Syracuse.

Much better than last year's.

Thank you, Lawrence.

LARRY: Hey, circus movie. Just what I was hoping for.

-What was wrong with last year? -[VALERIE CHUCKLES]

ANNOUNCER: [ON TV] And we'll be right back after this.

ANNOUNCER 2: [ON TV] Someone will win this Value Digest Sweepstakes award.

Why not you?

Send a short letter telling us why you think

you should win $2 million to this address.

-Rememberize that, okay? -Okay.

RUSS: Woah, slow down there, honey.

Where you going so fast?

I am going to win us some money.

Really? Val, you ready?

-You got the Lincoln letter? -I have got the Lincoln letter.

I thought you said that wasn't real.

Well, they don't wanna believe me.

[DOOR CLOSES]

That's Florida. F-l-o...

Yeah?

R-i...

Yeah?

D-a.

Do you have an envelope?

Uh-huh. Downstairs I do.

I sure hope Russ and Valerie know

what you're trying to do for them.

RUSS: Molly!

Molly!

-[DOG WHIMPERING] -Lay down!

You're home!

Where's my Lincoln letter?

Your what, sir?

This morning, it was in a briefcase

Now, there is a candy bar there, melted.

-Oops. -"Oops"?

What does that mean?

What does that mean, "oops"?

Molly,

the paper you used to write to the Sweepstakes Company,

was that in Russ's briefcase?

You wrote on it?

You wrote on my Lincoln letter?

I'm sure she had no idea it was...

Where is it?

Mailman took it.

The mailman took my Lincoln letter?

-I'm sorry. -Oh, no, honey,

-It's not your fault... -Yes, it is.

Don't tell her it's not her fault.

It is her fault.

At least you can leave here in a couple of days, Molly.

I have to live with this forever.

It's my fault. Lawrence, it's all my fault.

Oh. No, no, no, no sweetie.

CLIFF: Hey, Dad, it's me.

Is everything okay?

I got a crazy message from the Lachman's last night.

What are they talking about a Mexican restaurant?

Well, son, a restaurant is no place to spend a holiday.

I don't blame Molly a bit for staying where she is.

Well, how is she, I mean,

was she excited about the big news?

[CHUCKLES] You should've seen her son.

Her eyes were shining like molten steel.

Well listen, anyway,

wish all the kids a happy Thanksgiving for me

and I'll see you tomorrow, all right.

-Oh, and Dad. -Speaking.

You sure you're not doing anything questionable, right?

Cliff, just take it easy, relax.

Business has never been so good.

Now then, you say that you're in the market

to rent a teenager.

I don't think that she will ever talk to me again.

You don't deserve to have her talk to you again.

You're lucky I'm still talking to you.

You're right.

No, you're right.

I am?

-About what? -About having kids.

You were right.

We don't have the sensibilities to be parents.

We don't have the time, we don't have a clue

about what we're doing.

This is hard work.

What were we thinking about?

I don't know, Val.

Maybe it'll work out for the best, though.

I mean you toss in this whole financial mess.

At least the kids are,

you know, they're...

They're only rented?

They deserve better than us.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

No stems.

-No stems. -Yes.

Kyle, wanna join us in here for a minute, please?

Atta boy. Take a seat right there.

Good, good. All right, guys.

I want to go over a few ground rules here

before the guests arrive, okay?

What guests?

You know, their friends.

Well, they're not friends-friends.

They're more like business client-friends.

But that's why it's very, very important

that you guys behave tonight, okay.

Business friends? On Thanksgiving?

Rule number one, no burping at the table.

Number two, Kyle,

no passing any food whatsoever through your nose.

And number three, and most importantly,

Mr. Twixel stays in the bedroom.

Any questions?

Molly?

Thanksgiving is supposed to be family time.

What's the difference?

We're not family either.

Brandon...

When are we going to leave?

In the morning.

Guys, I'll tell you what,

let's not talk about leaving now, okay.

Let's talk about what a great time

we're gonna have tonight.

Right?

-Right. -Right.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

Anyway, the post office says they'd be able to

trace the Lincoln letter in a couple of days,

but other than that

I think the auction went pretty well, don't you?

Yes, very well received. Thought it could have done

without the children rushing around.

I didn't think they were so bad.

I imagine that you can't wait

to have your house returned to normal again.

Well, it's actually kind of fun.

[WOMAN CHUCKLES]

What grade did you say you were in?

Well, we don't really have grades in prison.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER CONTINUES]

Will you and your brothers be visiting long?

Uh-uh. The rental period is for only ten days.

I can pass a Brussel sprout through my nose.

I used to be able to pass a full cheese sandwich.

[SIGHS DEEPLY]

This is really boring.

At least at the orphanage we're part of a family,

not a business meeting.

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

Hey, happy Thanksgiving, guys.

Mmm, sure smells good in here.

Come on, eat with us.

Oh no, no, no, I, uh, I really can't.

Why not? There's plenty of food.

Can Larry come and eat with us?

Well, honey, I'm sure that Lawrence has other plans.

I really do.

I was trying to tell the kids that.

Got a bunch of family coming over downstairs.

Lots of food, everybody bringing dessert and what not.

Anyway, the reason I came up

is I found that Abraham Lincoln letter,

sitting out by the box.

I guess Molly forgot a stamp,

so the mailman never took it.

Nuts! Now we won't win the money.

[CLICKS TONGUE] Well, I got to make room

for all those people I was telling you about.

Can we come with you?

Can we?

Why would you want to do that?

Look at all that great food waiting for you.

Who cares, it's just a turkey.

Come on, Larry, why not?

Um, Mr. and Mrs. Syracuse,

is it okay if the kids come down with me for a while?

It's fine.

Thanks Lawrence, for coming by.

Race you to the elevators, come on.

It seems to be undamaged.

I don't know, Russ.

Lincoln on one side, Molly Ward on the other?

Wait, it's pencil.

It's pencil.

They have erasers for pencils.

We'll use one of those little pencil erasers.

We'll erase it. [CHUCKLES]

[READING] I would like to win the $2 million

so our new family will have enough money to keep us.

Molly.

-Where are they? -Did they go with Larry?

Yes, yes!

[GUESTS MUMBLING]

Hotel Savoy?

What about it?

Lincoln never stayed at the Hotel Savoy.

His wife had a personal vendetta

against the owner's wife.

This letter's a forgery.

[GUESTS SCOFF]

LARRY: [ON PHONE] That really is too bad about the car.

Blew up sky high? Huh?

[EXHALES SHARPLY] Look, what can you do.

We'll just try again next year, right?

Okay, okay.

Then yeah, I'll... talk...

Talk to you guys, I'll talk to you guys next week.

-[PHONE LINE DIES] -Right, bye.

Looks like my, uh,

cousins aren't gonna make it after all.

I'm sorry, Larry.

That's okay.

You sure you guys don't want real plates?

Because sometimes the potatoes get stuck in the corners.

BRANDON: No. We're okay, Larry.

All right, then.

Oops.

BRANDON: What's wrong?

Forgot something.

Who likes cranberry sauce?

No stems?

Nope, not a stem in the can.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Um, may we come in?

Of course, you can.

-LARRY: Welcome. -Thank you.

VALERIE: What are you guys doing down here?

We've got, um, we've got dessert upstairs.

And, uh, Larry,

you're more than welcome to join us.

In fact, we insist.

No offence, but,

we don't want to eat with those people.

We want to be with family.

Molly, I keep telling you...

No, it's okay, Larry. Molly's right.

You have been more like family than we have.

We just, um...

We can't seem to get the hang of this.

I'm sorry. [CRIES]

[KISSES ON FOREHEAD]

You know,

it really is a whole lot nicer down here.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

May we join you?

Oh, sure.

I've got plenty.

Our cousins ran into some car trouble.

MOLLY: Here you go.

RUSS: Car trouble?

LARRY: Crazy thing blew up.

-Blew right up? -Yeah...

MOLLY: Everybody remember to save some turkey

for Mr. Twixel.

[MR. TWIXEL BARKING]

[CONTINUES BARKING]

[MR. TWIXEL WHIMPERS]

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

Brandon, I'm very sorry I didn't believe you

about the letter.

Why should you?

I'm just a big liar.

That's why no one will adopt me, I know that.

No, that's not true.

All kids lie every once in a while.

It's just part of growing up.

I remember that till I was about 16

I insisted that I had X-ray vision.

Doesn't matter.

No one will be like my mom.

No, of course not.

Val comes pretty close.

Closer than anybody.

She even smells like my mom.

Let me tell you something, Brandon.

If Val and I ever have a son,

I wouldn't mind one bit

if he turned out to be just like you.

Goodnight, pal.

We must be the two worst candidates

for parenthood on the face of the Earth.

We yelled, we screamed,

we called them liars.

Did you at least apologize to Brandon

about that stupid letter?

I don't think he cared very much.

Can't say that I blame him.

[THUNDER CONTINUES RUMBLING]

You know, I'm surprised they all haven't run away.

We really blew it, Russ.

[THUNDER CONTINUES RUMBLING]

[DOOR OPENS]

-Molly! -Hey.

Oh.

-You okay? Huh? -Hey.

Get over here. Get in here, quick.

Hurry. Snuggle in here.

It's just thunder and lightning, nothing scary.

What's wrong with Molly?

Well, I think she's afraid of the thunder.

Oh, is that all?

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

[RUSS AND VALERIE CHUCKLE]

RUSS: That's all, that's all it was.

The house next door got hit by lightning.

It burned to the ground.

Not really.

I suppose there's no extra room.

Hey, what do you say?

Any extra room for Brandon?

Yeah, come on in here.

Get in here, scoot over, scoot over.

-[ALL CHUCKLE] -Hurry, hurry,

before that lightning comes again.

Stay in here, stay...

[THUNDER RUMBLING] [RUSS EXCLAIMING]

I told you it was coming.

[DOG BARKING]

All right, all right, just this once.

[DOG WHIMPERS]

[ALL CHUCKLING]

[BED CREAKS]

[HUMMING]

[CONTINUES HUMMING]

[CHUCKLES]

[CONTINUES HUMMING]

Hey, how you doing?

Have you seen my father around?

Oh, it was terrific.

How was everything here?

Uh-huh. Okay, well, go look, I'll hold.

[CONTINUES HUMMING]

-[DOOR BELL RINGS] -RUSS: Coming.

-Morning, Mr. Syracuse. -Hi, Harry.

Are the children ready to be returned

in the condition in which they were rented?

Will you cut that out, please?

Guys, Harry's here.

HARRY: Ah, there they are.

One, two, three, everybody accounted for.

Oh, Brandon, I got very good news for you.

A very nice young couple has rented you for the next two weeks.

Just me? I'm going to be all alone?

No, no, of course not.

In fact, a very nice couple has rented you for the next two weeks.

Now, Mr. Syracuse, could you just sign right down there.

Okay, well,

free to say our goodbyes now and we'll move on?

Okay.

Bye, kids.

Hope you had a couple of good times, at least.

Oh, they'll be talking about this for days to come.

Okay, here we go.

Harry, could you just give us a couple of minutes, please?

Molly,

I'm going to call up Mrs. Lachman

and maybe the three of us can all go out to lunch. Hmm?

Hey, Kyle,

you look for that Medical Digest subscription in the mail

in a couple of weeks, okay.

Yeah? Okay.

[KYLE SNIFFLES]

And Brandon, you know, if I get any more of those

Civil War books, I'll send them right along, huh?

Bye.

Bye.

Goodbye.

[VALERIE SIGHS]

Okay.

-HARRY: Mr. Twixel, -[DOG BARKS]

front and center, come on, boy.

Come on.

Come on.

You come back and see us now for all your rental needs.

[DOOR CLOSES]

RUSS: [SIGHS DEEPLY] Well...

That's that, huh.

That's that.

MOLLY: We're sure gonna miss you, Larry.

In the future, I'm gonna have to

schedule time for these goodbyes.

CLIFF: So, you did it.

You really did it, huh?

You actually rented children.

Are you insane?

My boy, I don't think I like the tone of your voice

and in answer to our question,

I'm as sane as molten steel.

Look Dad, we're talking about human beings

-not some dumb animal. -[DOG GROWLS]

Hey Twixel,

I think we're ahead of our time.

At least we know now

what lousy parents we would have made.

The worst.

[WATER DRIPPING]

You know, Val, those kids deserve better than us.

I mean, you said it yourself.

-Way better than us. -Way better.

And you know why?

Because, you know, we're things people.

I don't want any kids, Russ.

I want those kids.

Me too.

-Thatta way. -Thanks, Lawrence.

Wait! Don't go!

Mr. and Mrs. Syracuse, hi, I'm Cliff Haber,

the director of the Mid-Valley Children's home.

Please accept my deepest, deepest apologies.

-We want to adopt them. -All of them.

[RUSS AND VALERIE GASPING]

-CLIFF: All of them? -RUSS: Yeah.

You, you, you, want to adopt all of them?

Pay attention, that's what the man said.

Although, technically speaking, Mr. Syracuse,

you did clearly decline the purchase option.

Look...

Look, Mr. Haber,

I know that these Lachman people,

they're expecting Molly and I know that

they bought her this swing set and everything,

but, you have to understand,

somewhere over the last ten days,

we fell in love with these kids.

And we sort of, became a family.

And Val and I, would really like to try

and keep that together if we can.

I mean, you know, if they'll have us.

Will you have us?

Yeah?

-Yeah. -[DOG BARKING]

It worked.

Don't break us apart, Mr. Haber.

Okay, listen, I'll explain it to the Lachman's

I'll bring back the paperwork.

In the meantime go be a family.

-Okay. Go, be a family. -Thank you.

-Thank you. -All right.

-Thank you, thank you. -Okay.

Well, yes, I may have been

a little foot loose and fancy free.

I may have zigged when I should have zagged, you know.

But it was never six of one

or half a dozen of the other with me.

When I went into this racket,

I went in to get those kids a home

and by God, I did it.

[MR.TWIXEL BARKS]

What?

No.

Oh, no.

No! No! No!

Honey.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

MOLLY: Yay, come on Mr. Twixel.

[MR. TWIXEL BARKING]

We'll meet you at the elevators.

RUSS: Heel, boy.

Guess what, we're staying.

Three more for 2209, got it.

See that?

Something nice happened to nice people.

Come on, Brandon.

Well, I got to hand it to you, Dad. I mean,

here for years I've been trying to get these kids placed

and you make it happen in a week.

Yeah, it's funny how life is.

Here, for years, you've been trying to get these kids placed

and I make it happen in a week.

You know, the truth is, son,

this magic of making people happy,

it's a gift.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

RUSS: Kyle, no!

Not the autographed Joe Namath football!