Original subtitles

-Previously on "Bruh."

- Do you really want help? - Yes.

- You need to tell your boys. - I'm not doing that.

- Mm, good night!

I've not been -- since quarantine.

Did I just say that?

- So what did you go to jail for?

- For murder. I killed my ex.

- When would you like to be married?

- Mm, tomorrow. - Yeah, tomorrow!

- Oh my god! We're getting married tomorrow.

- What the hell, man?

- Coming!

- Hey. Greg? - Hey.

Bill, what the hell are you doing here

at30 in the morning?

- Yo, I need to talk to Tom. - Well, Tom's not here.

- Ah, right, his mom. How--how's she doing?

- Not well. You should call him.

- Okay. Yeah, I'll do that.

Well, since he's not here, I guess I gotta talk to you.

- Bill, go home. - No, man. Mm-mm.

- Is somebody dead? - No.

- Then go home.

- Why didn't you ask that first?

- Bill, I don't have time for this, okay?

I start down at the hospital today.

I gotta be up in 30 minutes, all right?

I don't have time for your nonsense.

- Well, I guess that makes me your alarm clock.

Oh, and also, congratulations.

You and Tom, y'all doctors now, y'all made it. Hey, hey!

- Bill, what do you want?

- Regina wants to get married.

- Yeah, you know this. - I know, but, like...

- But what? - It's just...

- Say it, shit.

You woke me up at 30 in the morning.

But I--I thought you had a ring, I heard.

- Yeah, well, you know...

- And I heard you asked her to marry you, didn't you?

- Would--would you listen to me, bruh?

- Okay, what's up?

- Look, she wants to get married today.

- Okay. - I--I can't get married today.

- You should've thought about this

before you crashed her wedding, okay?

- Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, yeah.

But still, dawg, I mean...

Look, I'm not ready.

- What did you expect was gonna happen?

- I--I thought she was wanting to get married in,

like, two, three years.

- Three? - Yeah.

- Bill, she was halfway down the aisle, okay?

She's not waiting that long.

You clearly don't know women, bro.

- Yeah, well, I know that now.

- So didn't Tom tell you it'd be this way?

- Yeah, he did. - So you better go get to it.

- Come on, don't do that. Come on, come on, man.

- Bill, what's so wrong with marrying her?

- Nothing. It's just, like...

- Say it, shit.

- Look, I'm gonna be committed forever.

Like, forever...

- Yeah, that's what marriage is, Bill.

- I know, but that's not fair.

- It's not fair? What? - It's not! Like...

- You know what? Your ass is crazy, man.

- You know, I'm not in complete denial.

I know that.

- Well, you're in it now, man.

You better go home and get married.

- Oh, it's like that? - Yeah, it's like that.

Welcome to marriage, man. Ask me how I know.

- Look, I just don't wanna end up like you.

- Like me how? - Divorced.

- Bye, Bill. - But--

- Get out. Have a good morning.

- All right, you--you too. And you're welcome.

- Go get married. -Okay. Go to work.

- Get up!

Get up, boy! What you doin' out here?

- Hey, Ma.

- Huh?

- Littia slept here. She in the room.

- Oh, she stayed the night? - Yeah, she stayed the night.

- Whoa, did you get you some?

- Ma, please, no. I don't want to talk about that.

- Oh, you know you're all uptight as shit.

You know you need to get some.

- Ma, can we not talk about that?

Please, just not this morning, please.

- Well, fine, fine. I'm on my way to open the shop.

- Oh, wait. Wait, wait, wait, Momma.

- What is it?

- I just wanna tell you I love you so much.

You know what?

This morning, I'mma do you a favor.

I'mma open the shop for you.

You ain't even gotta worry about it. Let me do it.

You go ahead and take you another nap.

You had a long week. You know, you clean and all that.

Yeah, go ahead, okay?

- Mm-hmm. - Go ahead.

- You don't never want to take your black ass down there.

What is it?

- I'm trying to look out for you, Momma.

You be tired sometimes.

And I want you to know I love you and I appreciate you.

And that's one of the ways I can show it, you know?

- Uh-huh, uh-huh. - So go ahead.

- Yeah, but you got company.

- I know, but she resting. She good.

- Oh, she ain't gonna be left in here with all my good shit.

- Ma, we don't got no good shit. - It's good to me.

- Okay, Ma, look. You stay here. I'll open up.

- What's wrong with you, boy?

- I gotta tell you something.

Come closer. Ma, Littia went to jail.

- So did you.

- No, Ma, not like me. She went to jail for murder.

- Murder? - Murder, yeah.

- Oh, shit. I think I really like her.

- No, this ain't no joke, Ma. I'm serious.

- Any woman that take down a man--

- Ma. Okay-- - --makes me proud.

- Ma, we being serious, okay? She took a man's life.

Like, that's a serious situation.

This ain't nothin' to play about.

- Well, what he do to her? - It was her ex.

She--she killed him, I don't know.

In the jugular--did you know what a jugular was?

I mean, she grabbed my neck and everything.

She reenacted it and everything.

- That asphyxiation -- is good.

- Asphyx--what are you talking about, Ma?

- Oh, she gonna kill you.

- Ma, come on, stop playing. Like, what I'mma do?

Like, seriously, like, what I'mma do?

Like, can you help me, please?

- I don't know what you gonna do,

but I'm gonna up my insurance policy.

- Ma, you keep playing. It's not--

- Ma, I'm your son. I'm your only son.

- I know, I know. - Please, like, what I'mma do?

- I'm serious, 'cause I've been needing a vacation.

- Ma-- - Good morning!

- Good morning. How are you?

- I'm good. - Hey, little slicer!

- Ha, ha! She's so silly. Little slicer.

She talkin' about a sli--

I told her I was gonna go make some bacon.

Do you want a slice of bacon? - Oh, yeah!

- You like bacon, right? Like, like--

- Sometimes. - Right.

- Yeah. I hear you can really cut it.

- Cut it. Like dance.

Ma, she's so silly. She is hilarious.

Cutting, 'cause I saw you dance. Old-school people say cut it?

- Last night, yeah. - Like, you cut a rug, yeah.

- Yeah, I'm going to work.

- Okay, you don't want me to-- Momma, wait.

- No, no, no.

- Hold on one second. Don't you got--

- Bye, baby! Bye, little slicer!

- What? Goodbye!

- She jokes--slicer.

-Slice it this way, slice it that way.

Ooh, they just slice it!

- Your mom is so adorable. - Yeah, she is

- Thank you for letting me--

- Um, ooh, I'm so sorry. - Are you okay?

- I feel like a--

You feel like a fly flying in your throat?

- Let me see. Let me check.

- I don't need--

--help, but thank you.

It might be contagious or something. I don't want you

to get this on your fingers and then you come up with these.

I don't want you to have these, so--

- No. - Don't worry about that.

I'll get that fixed. But thank you. Cool.

- I was just gonna say thank you

for letting me stay here last night.

- No problem. I appreciate it.

Hm, no problem, yeah.

- Yeah, but, you need to wash your sheets.

- I wash my sheets.

- Oh, well, you need to wash them again.

- Oh, it's probably 'cause I be sweating.

My mom she be cutting off the air conditioner,

trying to save.

"I'm trying to save. You run up my damn bill!"

I have to cut it off and I be sweating in my bed,

just losing weight. It's like a--it's like a sauna.

So sometimes I just take it.

You know, instead of going to pay the gym membership--

- Okay. Okay. Okay.

Um, so...will I see you again?

- Definitely. - Good.

- Like, if God don't take your sight,

then definitely you'll see me.

- Why--why would you want him to take my sight?

- I wouldn't want him.

I mean, if--I was not wanting him to ever.

I'm just saying unless some tragic situation transpired,

then you will always see me 'cause you'll be able to see.

That's all I'm saying.

- Okay, good. - Sorry that was weird.

- Well, call me later? - Okay. Definitely.

Appreciate it.

- I'mma grab my keys and bounce.

- Okay. Heh! Ooh, heh! - Is your knee going?

- No, sometimes I just--

sometimes God just come in the room.

- Oh, ooh, yeah! Ooh! I feel that sometimes, too.

- Yeah. - Okay.

- Okay. - Bye.

I felt him again.

Let me get a--let me come in here.

Okay.

- Ooh! - You so silly.

Okay, I definitely see you.

- I'mma grab my keys. - Okay.

- Bye. - Bye, see you later.

Oh, you're so nice.

- Maybe I'll see you at the sandwich shop later?

- Okay. - Okay.

Thanks. - Thank you.

- Mike. - Yeah?

- Where are you going? - I have to work.

- To work? No. - Yeah.

- No, we have to meet that counselor.

- Right, um...

Can we reschedule that?

- Mike... - What?

- No. - Look, I'm fine.

- You told me you have a problem, Mike.

- Don't make me regret it.

- Make you regret--what are you talking about?

- Look, I'm fine. Trust me.

- Mike, no, we're going.

- Okay, look, I have an emergency board meeting

that I have to go to. - I call bullshit.

You call them and you tell them that you can't make it in.

- But I can.

- No, you can't. You need help.

- Are you really gonna do this? - Yes.

- Look, baby, can we just reschedule it?

- No. He doesn't work that way.

He has clients. - Then maybe he's not the guy.

- Mike, you need this outpatient treatment.

- I'm regretting telling you.

- Okay, so you want to be an addict?

- Baby, I used the wrong words.

- No...you used the right words.

- I will see him after I get off of work, okay?

- Mike, I told you he may not be available.

- You told me he may not be available.

Okay, well, just give me his text--like,

give me his number and I'll text him.

- Michael!

- You're hitting me with the full government?

- Yeah, because you're acting like you can't hear me.

- I hear you. Okay? - Okay, so then let's go.

- I will. I have to work. - Now.

- No, I have to work, all right? - No--

- I will call him. I will call him.

- No. - After I go to work, okay?

I love you. Please be here when I'm home.

All right? - Mike.

- Cool. I'll see you later.

- Hey.

-You calm down, bro?

- Yeah. - Okay, good.

I've been worried about you, man.

- Hey, look, man. Um, I need to talk to you.

- Okay, talk. -In person.

- Oh, um, I'm actually going to work right now.

I got a position down at the hospital.

-Hey, congratulations.

That's what's up. How's Tom?

-Um, Tom's not doing that good.

His mother is--you should call him.

-I will.

So, when do you think we can meet?

-Uh, do you want to meet after work?

- Yeah. Yeah, that'd be good.

- You okay?

- Mm-hmm, yeah.

- Mike, everybody always says they're okay until everything

comes crashing down, man. What's going on?

- I'm fine. -You sure?

- Yeah. Yeah. But...

-But what?

- I think it's better left said in person.

- Wait, what's gotten into you?

-Nothing, man. I'm good.

- Nah, nah, Mike. Something has. What's up, man?

- Yo, this is why I don't tell you anything,

because you worry more than Tom, okay?

I'm good. All right?

- All right, well, call me if you need to, okay?

- I will. I'll see you later on.

-Yeah. - Yeah, okay.

-Later.

- Hey. Where were you?

- Uh, just went for a little jog to clear my head and get ready.

- Ah. - Yeah.

- Okay. Well, I called the justice of peace,

made our appointment. - Okay.

- Yeah. - Yeah, yeah.

- And I was thinking I don't really wanna wear, like,

a white dress, like, wedding dress.

I wanna wear, like, a cute little sundress.

And then you can wear a nice comfy suit.

- Yeah, real comfortable. Yeah, yeah.

- Like that one right there I see.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- That's good. - And then, like,

you can get a tie that'll match my dress.

- That's--that's a good idea. - It'd be perfect, right?

- That'd be perfect.

- What? - What?

- You don't seem too excited. - No, no, I'm just tired.

The jog is just--whew. You don't smell that?

- Okay, well, we only have three hours.

- Okay, cool. - Yeah, so...

- You know what? I actually got a better idea.

I got another suit. I know--

I know what sundress you're talking about.

I got another suit.

It got, like--it's blue.

It got, ah, some pinstripes.

I think it'll, like, match a lot better.

- Yeah? - Yeah, yeah.

- You would wear that? - Oh, for you? Of course.

- Okay. I didn't see that in there, though.

- No, it's at the, uh, cleaner's.

You know, it's a good one.

I gotta--you know, I gotta keep it up there.

- Okay. Did you, um, wanna invite the guys?

Or... - No, no, no.

I just--I think it'd be best just me and you,

keep it simple. - Yeah, I like that.

- Yeah. - Just me and you.

- Just you and me. Yeah. - Mm-hmm.

Plus, we already had them at the last wedding.

- Yeah. - And that wasn't--

- That didn't go too well. - Yeah, it didn't, actually.

That was a mess.

- We're not gonna point no fingers...

- Oh, nobody. I don't know.

- All right. Um, let me go ahead and get that.

- Okay. - All right?

- All right, but hurry,

because I'm not trying to be late like that.

- I'm--I'm not gonna do that. I wouldn't do that to you.

- Okay. I love you. - I love you too.

- Mm-hmm. - Bye.

- Wait. Come back. - What's up?

- How you know what sundress I'm gonna wear?

- I know you, girl.

- Okay, well, what color is it?

- It's the matching with the matching.

I got you. See you in a second, babe.

- Matching with the matching?

He on that bullshit. See? I knew it.

- Hello. Darla?

- Hi. Uh, what are you doing here?

- I work here. - Oh, well, uh, of course.

Ah, the outfit should've gave it away.

- Yeah, what are you doing here?

What happened? - Oh, nothing.

I just got into a scuffle with a perp at work.

- Oh no. - That's why I'm here.

Uh, they won't let me go back to work

until I get a doctor's note.

And I cannot stand the doctor that represents us.

- Yeah, okay, um, let me check you out.

Um...you take that shirt off,

and let me get everything I need.

- Greg? - What?

- I'm fine.

- No, no, I just need to examine you.

- Okay, but I'm--I just--

I don't want to take my clothes off.

- Oh. I promise you it'll be professional, okay?

- I'm sure you will, but I'm fine.

Can you just write me a note or...

- No, I can't do that until I examine you.

- Are you--are you serious? - Yeah.

What if you have some sort of internal bleeding or...

- I don't. - How do you know?

- Well, because it wasn't that bad.

- Just get undressed, please.

- No. I'm--I'm not doing that.

Look, if you're gonna do all that,

I may as well just go see the department doctor.

- Darla, are you serious? Are you really gonna leave?

- I will call you tonight, okay? - Darla!

- I will. - What the hell?

Okay, Darla, I can get into a lot of trouble for this, okay?

I just got hired here.

- I don't know how many ways I can say this to you,

but I'm fine, okay?

- What if I just took a look at your head

and took your blood pressure?

-Okay. - Is that okay?

- Yeah, uh, okay. - Okay. Have a seat.

- Stop bossing me around.

- I'm sorry. Goodness, about to run out on me.

- Yeah, that I can do. - You sure? Okay. Goodness.

You can tell it's been a little minute

since I've been practicing.

There we go.

- I don't mind being your test patient.

- Let's see.

Damn, I hate this.

- I'm fine. I really am.

- Tell me what happened. - I just--

I had to go hands on with an arrest.

And so it was a welfare check.

And it--things just got out of hand. And...

- Was it a guy? - Does that matter?

- I mean--I mean, did he hit you?

Like, what happened? Are you--

- I'm an officer. I'm trained for this, okay?

It's fine. It's really not a big deal.

- Okay, I'm just--I'm just worried about you, okay?

- Is my blood pressure good? Can you focus on that?

- Yes, yes, okay, I'm sorry. - It's okay.

- Goodness.

- Hold still.

Oh, so you made it.

- Yes, I made it. - She didn't kill ya?

No stab wounds?

- It's not funny, Mom. - Okay, okay.

Hey, go in the back.

There's a delivery man at the back door.

- Mom, why you can't take care of it?

- Well, actually, it's a delivery woman.

- So that's the reason why you can't go?

- Yeah, that's the reason. - Ma, I'll handle up here.

You go back there and take care of that, okay?

- You just walk up in here and make sandwiches?

You ain't wash your hands or nothing.

- I'm going to wash my hands, Ma.

- Messing around with that damn serial killer.

Ain't no telling where your fingers was last night.

- Ma! I'm done. Please,

go do what you supposed to do, and I'll handle it.

I know to wash my hands. This is my business.

- I don't wanna go back there. That's a woman.

I don't wanna talk to her.

- Ma! Would you go back there, please,

and handle the back? - Ok, ok, fine, fine, fine.

But wash your damn hands. - Okay, I'll wash my hands.

- Yo, J. - What's up?

- Yo, I need to talk to you, man.

- I need to talk to you too, actually.

- Okay, me first. - Why you first?

- Come on, don't do that right now.

- I'm just saying what I have to say is legitimate too,

you know what I'm saying?

- Is it like-- - "Oh, me first!"

- Okay, is it, like, legitimate like you gotta go to

the justice of the peace to get married today legitimate?

- What? - Exactly.

- What are you talking about?

- Look, man, Regina wants to get married.

And she wants to get married today.

- Bill, you did break up her wedding.

You remember that, right? - Yeah, I know.

- Okay, and then you proposed to her.

- I know. - You said, "I will marry you."

- Yeah.

- So what's the problem? - I can't get married right now.

- Oh, really? That's-- - Yeah, man, it's just--

- That's not really-- - You gonna help me out?

- Mm-mm. - Tell me what to do.

- I should've known. - Oh, shit.