Original subtitles

- Okay.

- This nigga was having her followed.

- What?

Previously on "Bruh"--

- But you seem like you had an idea of something

that was going on?

- Listen, I'll talk to him, alright?

- I told you, I think he's mentally ill.

There's something wrong Mike.

Girl, he's having you followed.

- Why in the hell would he even do that?

- How about...

you move in here with me?

- I'm missing my period.

I think I'm pregnant.

- What the fuck you mean, damn?

- Miss Alice?

- Yes, I'm pregnant.

- Are you sure? - Yes.

- Then you need to make a doctor's appointment to get

yourself checked out, okay?

- Can you give me a pregnancy test?

- Miss Alice? - No, I don't wanna tell John.

- Why not?

- 'Cause he'd have a fit. - Then--

- And I don't know who the daddy is.

- Okay, Miss Alice.

- I'm telling you the truth.

- Then you need to go get tested, okay?

- Don't judge me, nigga.

- Miss Alice, I'm sorry, but I have to go.

- You're gonna leave an old woman in confusion?

- Now you're an old woman?

- Yeah, whatever kind of woman it takes to help me get my way.

- Miss Alice, I'm sorry, I have to leave, okay?

- No, you gonna go get it, that's what you gonna do.

- Okay, I'll go get it. - Good, good.

Get the one that has the letters on it.

- Okay. - Okay?

- Alright, I'll be right back, okay?

- Wait, wait, what if I'm pregnant?

- Well, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

- I mean, I don't want another baby.

I mean, I barely raised the one I got.

- I'm gonna go.

- Don't leave yet, I'm talking to ya.

- Miss Alice.

- Well, maybe I can put him up for adoption.

- Well, I'm sure there's a lot of beautiful families out there

looking for kids.

- But what if he grows up to be rich like you?

- Miss Alice--

- I could be giving up my retirement.

- Well, how 'bout we just find out if you're pregnant first?

- I can feel it kicking.

- Uh, okay, I'm gonna go.

- Okay.

- You sure?

- Yeah, I'm sure.

I'll be right here. - Okay, I'll be right back.

- Okay. Go on now.

What am I gonna do with another baby?

Damn.

- Here you go, Miss Alice. - Good, good, good.

No, no, hold on, let me take it.

- Miss Alice, I have to go.

- Now, wait, you're a doctor.

- Why do I need to be here?

- Well, look at me.

What would I do if it comes out positive?

- Okay, well--

- Well, let me go ahead on and take it.

- Miss Alice, I have a date.

- Oh, nigga, it's only a flow of piss.

It ain't gonna take that long.

- Okay, go ahead.

- Okay, go make yourself comfortable.

- Okay. - Yeah.

And, uh...

you want a brownie?

- I'm good, Miss Alice.

- No, no, they're good now.

Try that.

- Okay. - Okay.

I'll be right back.

I'm just gonna pee. - Okay.

- I'll be back. - Have a brownie.

- Goodness.

Damn, this is good.

-Thank you, have another bite.

- I think I will.

Let me call her.

- Hello?

- I'm sorry, can we push back like an hour?

- Yeah, that's fine. I'm not even home yet.

But, um, you know I'm just down the hall, right?

- Okay, thank you.

- Yeah, you good?

- Yeah, I just had to stop by a friend's place.

His mother's crazy.

-I hear you, nigga.

- Is that her? - Yeah.

- You better be quiet.

- Yeah, you're right, she probably has guns in here.

- You know, she sounds like this lady

who owns a sandwich in the Milling Building.

- Wait, you know Miss Alice? - Wait, is that her?

- Yeah, that's her.

Everyone at the police station knows Miss Alice.

- Yeah, I bet.

- Alright, well, listen, you take your time.

I'll see you when you get home, okay?

- Okay, thank you.

- Yeah, no worries.

- Well?

- Mm, it says I'm not pregnant.

- Miss Alice, that's good news.

- How is that? Where's my period?

- Well, you may have started menopause.

- No, I didn't.

- How do you know?

- That mean I would be, um--

- What?

- No, I'm not.

That can't be.

- Miss Alice-- - I'm not old.

- Miss Alice, menopause does not mean that you're old, okay?

- Oh lord, what's gonna happen to me?

- You're gonna be fine. - No, I won't.

- I have a colleague.

I'll set up an appointment for you,

and she'll be able to take care of you.

- God be damned. - I'm sorry.

- I thought sure I was.

- Well, luckily you're not.

- What the hell?

- I'm gonna go now, okay?

- Don't leave me, Greg.

- Miss Alice, I'm walking out that door.

- Don't leave me. See?

See, look at ya. See how you acting?

Don't nobody want you when you're old.

- I'll talk to you later, okay? - See? No, come on.

- Miss Alice-- - Don't leave me.

- I'm gonna leave, okay? - No, no, no.

- Sorry, no-- - You never had like this.

- No, thank you. - Greg--

- Have a good night, okay?

- Come on now, I don't know what to do.

- I know, bye. - You can show me.

- Thank you, Miss Alice. - You can show me what to do.

-No, ma'am.

- Hey. - Hey.

- How you doing?

- Good, how are you? - I'm good.

I was looking for you.

- Oh yeah, I just got off.

I wanted to sit down and take a break.

- I got that, I understand that.

I just wanted to see if I could buy you a drink or something.

- Oh, one second. Brian?

Get us some drinks. - Oh, thank you, okay.

I got--I got some money, I can pay for it. Thank you.

- I got it. - --with the drink, I

could pay for the drink. - It's all good.

Hey, can we get two margaritas and a shot of tequila?

- Thank you. You--you know my drink?

- Yeah, I mean, you keep ordering the same thing

every time you come in here.

True, true, I do. - Yeah.

So, why don't you tell me about yourself?

- Oh.

What's to tell you that I haven't told you already?

Um...

- There has to be more to you than living with your mama

and owning a sandwich shop.

- Well, just to be clear, my mama live with me.

- I'm just repeating what you said.

- I understand, I just want it to be clear.

She live with me, so I pay the rent, but yeah--

- So, let me set the record straight.

- Almost as good as mine.

- Thank you, brother.

- So let's toast.

- Here's to me not having sex with you.

- Okay.

- Yeah, you gotta look me in my eyes.

- Okay. - Yeah.

Here you go. - Respect.

You just--you go straight in with it, huh, okay.

- Yeah, I'm celibate.

- You sell a bit? You don't--

- Yeah, celibate.

- Oh, like you don't sell all of it,

you only sell a little bit? - What?

- I thought you said you don't have sex,

so if you selling some, like is that just prostitution

or like what's that? - Nigga, what?

No, I'm celibate, meaning you don't have sex.

That's what celibate means.

- Oh, that's a word--celibate.

I thought you like, "Ah, I only sell a bit.

Like I don't sell a lot, I sell a bit."

- I cannot. No. -My bad.

But you don't have sex? - No.

- Okay. - And I'm gonna stay that way

until I meet a man who's worth it.

- Okay, you just lay it all out there, huh?

Just--respect that.

- I'm straight up.

- I see it, straight up.

- So, if you like me, we can hang out.

Get to know each other better.

And I think we should just start there.

- Okay.

- After we finish the drinks. - Mm-hmm.

- We should go back to your spot.

- Okay, and I told you I live with my--

- Yeah, your mama.

- My mama live with me, but yeah.

- It'll be nice to meet her.

- You wanna meet my mama? - Yes, I do.

- Okay, let's do it. - Alright.

Are you afraid of motorcycles?

- What you mean?

- You don't have a car.

I have a bike, so I was gonna take you home.

- You gonna take me home? - Yeah.

- Give me a ride? - I'm gonna give you a ride.

- Okay. - Just make sure you don't--

- But not like that, I got you, 'cause--

- Wait, what?

- --celibate, no I was saying--I got you.

You're gonna give me a ride home on your motorcycle.

- Yeah. - Give me a ride.

- Yeah, I'm gonna let you ride it.

Like my bike. - I'm gonna ride--

- Just make sure you don't get hard riding behind me.

- No, I ain't get----

I'm gonna focus on stuff. I got you.

You're straight up for real.

- Yeah, I mean, life is short.

I ain't got time for no bullshit, you feel me?

- I feel you.

I like--I like to get right into it.

Like I feel you.

- I bet you do.

- No, I meant like to the point, like not like--

- Yeah, you gonna get right into everything except for this

ass, 'cause that ain't happening.

- "This ass."

Respect, I got you.

You make it very clear. - Yeah.

- You celibate, but you don't sell a bit.

And, um, I got you, I respect that.

- But I will be honest.

You almost got it.

- What? For real? - Mm-hmm.

- Like how can I get back to that?

- Well-- - I'm just playing,

like how--at what point did I do that?

- The night when you hit your friend,

that shit turned me the fuck on.

- For real? - Mm-hmm.

- Oh, so you like violence?

- Hell yeah.

- Oh, that's the kicking--okay. - Yeah.

- You and my mama gonna get along really well.

- Really?

- Unfortunately, yes.

- Well, I can't wait to meet her.

- I--I can, but--

- Hold up. Don't move, don't move. Hold up.

Sssh. Uh, rub my head, rub my head.

Oh my God, you work--you woke the sleeping

bear, baby.

You woke the sleeping bear.

Okay, alright, okay, you go that way,

I'm gonna go this way.

Put your leg--oh, that's my nuts.

- Oh, sorry.

- Ooh.

Damn. Oh.

Come here, girl.

Damn.

What's gotten into you?

- Um, I don't know.

You just make me crazy, all that howling and stuff.

- Ooooh!

- I knew you missed me.

- Yeah, I did.

- And to think you was about to marry that clown.

- Wha--what? Why would you--

- What? Too soon?

- Yes.

Ugh.

God.

- When can we talk about it?

- Talk about what?

- You and "Peter."

"Peter Pumpernickel."

- Why would you wanna talk about him?

- I just----I knew you didn't love that dude.

- Actually, I did.

- Honestly?

- I still do.

- Really?

I just, uh--

- You just what?

What?

You thought that I would marry somebody I don't love?

- If you say so.

- Okay, and what is that supposed to mean?

- It means I saw the way you looked at him.

And I saw the way you looked at me.

- Mm, okay.

He's not you.

I get that.

- Okay.

So then--

- Hmm?

What?

Go ahead and say it.

- Nah, you know what?

Let's just stop talking about.

- Okay.

But you're the one who brought him up, not me.

- Hey, hey, I'm a man of many mistakes.

That was one of them.

Promise you, that will not happen again.

- Yeah, alright.

Look, if it's gonna be a problem, then--

- No, no, no, no, no.

It's not gonna be a problem.

It's not, okay?

- Bill, you really think that moving in right now is the best

thing to do, 'cause--

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is.

It is.

- 'Cause I'm not about to be just dating you.

You know that, right? - Mm-hmm.

- You good with that?

- Are you?

- Of course I am.

- Well, so am I.

- Oh, all of the sudden.

- Mm.

Wha--what?

Hey, watch it, don't move.

Look, look, look, don't move.

Don't--don't move. - What?

What are you--

What is this?

- I want you to marry me.

- Are you serious?

- Super serious.

- And it's just gonna be you and me?

- Just the two of us.

- Just the two of us?

- Just the two of us.

- Are you sure? - Yeah.

Woman, is that yes or a no, shit?

- I mean...after you get on one knee.

- Who made up that corny shit?

- Oh, that was corny?

I don't know who made it up, but it's tradition,

and it's what I want. One knee.

- No, no, okay, hold up, hold up.

Did, uh, Peter get down on one knee?

- Here you go, see?

I don't understand.

- Answer the--answer the question.

Did he get on one knee?

- Yeah, he did.

He did, yes, he did.

- Then I ain't doing it.

- Are you kidding?

- No. - Really?

You really jealous of this guy like that?

- Jeal----I'm not jealous of that fool, man.

- That's what it sounds like--

- Nah, 'cause I know he ain't--he ain't packing

like old Bill.

You see it, you felt it. Hey.

- Here we go, back to the light-skin shit.

- Ain't always good.

- It's always about that with you.

It is. - It's not about that.

If that--if that--I don't come back to nothing, look.

I'm holding this damn ring that cost, you don't wanna know,

okay? And this just for you.

I mean it.

So, Regina...

will...you...

marry...me...please?

- Okay.

- Give me--give me that.

Oh, a perfect fit.

Who knew?

You're so good.

- Thank you for being so patient.

- Oh, it's fine.

But I need to tell you, um, we have to order takeout.

- Okay.

- Yeah, it's a little late to cook, and honestly,

I'm not that good.

- I'm cool with that.

- Good.

- Sorry, it's a mess.

- You call this a mess?

- Yeah, I mean, I could have picked up a little bit.

- It's fine.

- Uh, do you wanna order something?

- Uh, yeah.

I'll, um--

- What are you thinking?

- Can we do Italian?

- Italian it is.

I'm good with that.

- Thank you.

- I'll let you pick. - Okay.

Um...

- I have been thinking about you all day.

- No, you haven't.

- Of course I have.

- Well, this sounds interesting.

- And why is that?

- Because I've been thinking about you all day too.

- Really?

- Mm-hmm.

- Well, I guess that puts us both in a good position.

- Looks that way.

- I'm gonna have the chicken parm.

- Okay, well, I think I'm gonna go with the...linguine.

Yes. - Alright, I'll call it in.

- Thank you.

- Do you like jazz?

- Stop. - What?

- You walked past my apartment and you heard me playing jazz.

That's why you're asking. You're not slick!

- No, I swear.

Listen, there's a remote right there.

Press play, you'll hear the last thing I was listening to.

- Okay, well, let's see.

- I love that.

- See?

- Hey, I'd like to make an order for delivery.

Yeah, yeah, I have.

Yep, that's the right address.

Can I get the chicken parm

and the linguine, please? - Breadsticks. Breadsticks.

- And breadsticks, breadsticks.

Yes.

Okay, how long?

Alright, thank you.

- How long?

- They said like 45 minutes.

- Oh, that's good, I'm starving.

- You want something to drink?

- Uh, yeah, I'll take a drink.

What do you want?

- Well, I wanna make love to you.

- Greg, I--

- What? You asked me what I wanted.

- How do I know?

- How do you know what?

- How do I know that once we do,

you wouldn't just up and leave?

- Oh, um...

I guess you don't.

I--I don't know.

- Right, so that's why I don't jump into bed with men.

I have to--I have to get to know them first.

- No, I like that.

That's good, yes.

I understand.

- Do you understand?

- Yeah.

- No, beca---it's not the same for you.

You are--you're a guy, you wouldn't get it.

Like you're single and cute.

You're probably having sex with everybody.

- Okay, I'm definitely not that guy.

- Come on. - What?

- A single doctor in Atlanta? They are throwing ass at you.

- No. - Don't play.

- I sw--I swear, like--besides, I just moved here.

So I don't even know anybody.

Plus, I just got out of a marriage,

so I'm not really in that state of mind, you know?

- I'm sorry.

So are you divorced?

- Uh, yes.

- For how long?

- Officially, a week, but--

- A week?

- But I've been checked out for like...two years.

- Why?

- Because like...everything I like, she had a problem with.

- Did you talk to her about that or--

- Yeah, I mean, you try to but that's kinda--that's the

problem, that's the issue.

It's a miscommunication.

We're just not on the same page, you know?

- Yeah, I--I get it.

I'm the rebound.

- Uh, no, listen, no.

You're like a breath of fresh air.

I promise you.

Thank you.

- That sounds sweet.

Or is that just some game?

I--

- I promise, I'm speaking from the heart.

- I don't know, I-- - Honestly.

- Guys like you have so many women, it's just--

- You'd be surprised.

- What would surprise me?

- I'm particular.

Like it takes more than just a beautiful body or a face to turn

me on, you know?

I need some personality.

- What?

I mean, you--you honestly turn me on, okay?

It's more than just physicality.

- No, no, you see, more and more of that talk makes me think

you only want to get me into bed.

- I mean, I do, but...you can't blame me.

And besides, don't act like you don't want me either.

- I do, that is clear.

But I want to take thing slow.

- Okay, yeah.

I get that.

I understand.

- Thank you.

- Why don't you come dance with me?

- Are you serious?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

This is, um--this is different.

- Is it?

- Yeah.

Um...

- Well, you know they say that chivalry is dead.

- But not romance.

- Are you having me followed?

- Damn, she told you?

- Yeah, she told me.

- Yeah, I was having you followed for a little bit.

- What the hell is wrong with you?

- When you said you didn't want me, I--I went crazy.

- Well, 'cause you're just, what,

just so used to getting what you want?

- Just stop having me followed.

- I don't mean to.

- What?

- I want you to move in here.

- I'm not moving in here.

- Why not? - 'Cause your ass is crazy.

- I'm not crazy. - Yes, you are.

I mean, you change like the wind, Mike.

-Pam. - You do.

Like one minute you're cool, the next you're hot.

- Pam...

I have a cocaine problem.

- Mm, what?

- Yeah, I tried to keep it from the guys,

but...I'm addicted to it.

- What?

- I need to get some help.