Original subtitles

- You don't believe that I've changed.

- It's the same thing with you, over and over.

-Previously on "Bruh."

- I came here to try and talk to you,

and you're such an asshole. - I'm gon' go ahead and just --

- No! Did he tell you that he tried to put me out of here?

You know what, you're gonna get yours.

- Pam, go home.

- We want to be treated right, and we want to be cared for.

- But, aren't you seeing, like, hella dudes?

- You know why?

I can't get what I need and want from one man.

Come in. - I'll go head and pass on that.

- Bill. - Please stop.

- Bill.

- Stop, what are you -- stop, no.

- What the -- yo, what are you --

- Bill, stop acting like I'm -- You act like you're --

- What are you doing?

- Why are you pulling away from me like that?

We met like, what -- - Like, you not --

you can't just kiss me like that, damn!

- Fucking up my-- like, why are you --

Look at me, why are you acting like --

why are you acting like you don't wanna kiss me?

- You know what, you know what, this is -- this is --

- No! What the fuck was that?

- This is weird as hell. Yo, I'm --

- What's so weird about it?

What's so wr-- what's so wrong with it? What?

- Aren't you and Regina friends? - I'm --

first of all, I'm not with Mike.

Secondly, are you with her? Like, what's the issue?

- No, isn't it like a code or something we're violating?

- A code? - Yeah, the -- the bruh code.

- The bruh code? - Yeah.

- The -- the -- the bruh code? - Mm-hm, yeah.

- Whatever.

- Oh, you -- you know what? You're a little tipsy,

so how 'bout you go upstairs, and just sleep this off?

- You know what,

how 'bout you come upstairs and get me off?

- Pam? - Yeah?

- You -- - Come upstairs.

- This is weird, this is wrong. - What's so wrong about it?

- Yo, Mike is my guy. - Okay, the code.

- Yeah, thou shall not sleep with thy brother's girl-th

under any circumstances, it's that code.

- You know what? I -- I'm just kidding.

- Oh now -- - No, I was 'cuz --

- Now -- now you're kidding?

- I'm drunk, so, yeah, I was kidding.

- Okay, okay, yeah, you drunk, okay.

Okay, get upstairs, goodbye, goodnight.

Goodbye. - And you're hard.

- I'm not. - You are.

- That's none of your business. - You're hard.

- Why you looking? That's none of your business.

That has nothing to do with you. Nothing to do with you.

- Okay, alright. - Just a coincidence.

- So what, the code, it -- it trumps this?

- Yes, yes, it -- yeah, the code.

All of this. Shit!

- Alright, I'll go. - Yeah. Goodnight, bye.

- Bill, last chance. - No!

-Bill! - This is weird.

-I can tell you want -- come on.

- I don't want you. -Yes, you do.

- Look, this -- Yo, you can't --.

Yo, go, go, can you make that call upstairs?

Go, please, get -- get out. Wow!

- Bill, be quiet. - Make the --

Who the hell? Call --

- Hey, Regina. - What the hell?

-Yeah.

Girl, he didn't fall for it, nah. He -- listen,

I tried to kiss him and everything .

- Wow!

- Nah, he didn't mention you, though.

He said it was because of, uh, his friendship with Mike.

Well -- yeah.

Yeah, okay, alright, I'll talk to you later, alright.

- Get the hell up out my car. Go, get the hell out.

- Really? - Yeah, really.

This some bullshit.

- Bill, don't be mad 'cuz we have to try, like --

we're just testing you, you're trifling.

- What the hell? - You're disgusting.

- Ain't no disgusting, yo, you --

-Why are you mad? - Over here tryna kiss me?

No, no, no, no, look, look, and what you talking about --

How you gon' test me?

I'm not even seeing her, we're not even talking.

- You're so stupid.

You are literally -- you're dumb just like Mike.

- Yeah, whatever, yo, goodnight, go, get out, peace.

Bye. What are you still doing here?

Now, I feel --

- You're just entertaining me at this point.

- No, no, I feel vulnerable, no.

- Oh, you feel vulnerable? - Yeah, yeah, I feel violated.

- That's why you're still hard, right?

That's why you're still hard. - I gotta use the bathroom.

-You're really hard. - I gotta use the bathroom.

-What does that have to do with anything?

- You have no effect on the growth of my --

- Why don't you just come inside --

- Oh wow, watch your words, no. -Watch my words?

Watch your dick. - No, goodbye, okay.

- Goodbye? - No, no consent.

Nope, this is -- -Bill.

- Reverse sexism, bye. -Reverse sexism?

- Yes, it is, this is, yo -- You're making me feel guilty.

- You feel guilty? - Yes!

Goodbye. -Come here.

- You seductress, bye! - I'm not a seductress.

- You are, go! -Bill!

You would have done it. - No, I wouldn't have, no.

- No, I know you would have. - No.

- I know you would have. - Bye.

- But, it's cool, alright. - Okay, good.

- I'll see you later. - Yeah, no, you won't.

No, you won't, you will not see me later.

- Bill, I'll see you later. - No, you won't, mm-mm.

Pamela, goodnight. - Alright!

- Goodnight.

I'm 'bout to yell rape in a second, bye.

-Shut up! - Non-consent, non-consent.

The fuck!

-Hey! - What up, man?

- Putting your stuff up?

- Yeah, I still have some stuff in the car.

How'd you sleep? - Uh, I didn't.

- Sorry 'bout that. - Nah, it's not your fault,

I have some other stuff going on.

- You like to read. - What makes you say that?

- The third box of books I carried up here.

- Oh, what's -- what's going on here?

- Oh, sorry, Tom, Officer Darla Grills.

- We met.

- Yeah, hi, how you doing, officer?

-Oh, well, I was double parked,

and she decided to scream at me to move.

- And then I felt sorry for him, and I decided to help.

- Well, that's extremely nice of you.

- Yeah, well, I'm a nice person, and I remember what it was like

when I moved into this building .

- Wait, you live here, too? - Uh, just down the hall.

- Oh, okay, well, I'll be able to return the favor.

- Just being a good neighbor. - Oh, speaking of --

did you ever -- did you find those guys?

- No, unfortunately, not.

So many times those crimes go unsolved.

- Damn, I was kinda hoping you would get him, you know?

- Yeah, but, I guess no one saw anything.

They were lucky criminals.

- Yeah, well, you said no one was hurt, right,

so, at least we got that. - Yeah, no, no one was hurt.

- Wait, what happened?

- There was a car jacking across the street the other night.

- Oh shit!

- Yeah, Officer Grills came by, she took the report.

- Okay. Good job.

- Thank you.

- Ah, well, I gotta be getting to work,

so, I'll leave you guys to it. - Okay, yeah --

- Pardon me. - Have a good day, man.

Thank you.

- Oh, wait, um, how do I get a key?

- Ah, you -- come by the hospital later today,

and I'll get you a copy made. - Okay, bet --

Yeah, and I'll be able to see where you work, too.

- Perfect, alright, good to see you again, Officer.

- Likewise, Doc. -Bye, guys.

-Take it easy, man.

- So, how do you guys know each other?

- College roommates. - So, what do you do?

- I'm a surgeon.

- Impressive!

Okay, well, uh, I can, uh, I can help you with one more box,

then I really better be getting --

-Oh! - Back to my shift.

- Yeah, thank you, uh,

and I need to move my car out of the red zone, too.

- Yeah, or I'll have to arrest you.

- It's a promise? - Oh, I see.

- What are you seeing? - You're one of those.

- One of what? - Mm-hm, go move your damn car.

- Alright. - Alright.

- Good morning. - Morning, Mom.

- What? - I said, good morning, Mom.

- Mom? - Yes.

- Oh, shit! You in trouble?

- No, I'm not in trouble. But I do need to talk to you.

- Well, why are you saying "Mom,"

talking all white and shit? - No reason.

I just wanna talk to you, Mom. - Well, I don't have no money.

- Ma, I'm not -- I'm not --

I don't wanna ask you for any money.

- Yeah, well that's a switch.

- Okay, okay, so, I need to talk to you.

Can you have a seat, please? Come on.

I'll sit there. What? Ma? - Hm?

- What are you -- what are you doing?

I just asked for you to have a seat.

- Social distancing. - What? Okay.

We live together, but, okay, nevermind.

Okay, Mom. - Cut that Mom shit out.

You know, it reminds me of this white man I use to have.

You know, he use to call me Mom .

- That -- that's exactly what I wanna talk to you about,

actually. -What?

- The nasty talk. - What, me fucking a white man?

-Ma! No, okay, the nasty talk, period,

all of that, yes, that part -- that's part of it.

- Oh, boy, shit! - Ma, it's a problem.

And you gon' need to stop, for real.

- No, no, no, I'm gon' be me. - Okay, Ma, that's fine,

how about you just don't do it around my friends?

- No, I can't -- - Okay?

- -- do that, I can't do that.

- What you mean you can't do that?

Why not? - Look, I'm gon' be me.

If you don't like the me that I am,

don't bring 'em around me. Keep their asses away.

- Ma, that's the problem,

you always grabbing on their asses.

- Yeah, yeah -- - That's the problem.

- Yeah, yeah, 'cuz they nice and firm.

- Okay. - And I like a firm ass.

You know, 'cuz Clarence, he had that ol' wiggly ass,

'member him? - Mama --

- Mm-hm, every time I touched it,

it just move like Jell-o.

I want a ass that hit like this table.

- Ma! Stop! - Oh shit,

that shit start turning me on right here .

- Ma, that's a problem.

- Mm, see there, the napkin holder just came.

That's what I'm talkin' 'bout, boy.

- Ma.

- This, all of this, is exactly what I'm talking about.

This is a problem, okay?

You're doing it in the place of business.

We not at home, I'm not your friend, I'm your son, okay?

So, I see there's no talking to you, Ma.

If you're not going to stop doing it,

then, I gotta do what I gotta do.

- You ain't gon' do shit.

- Okay, I'm sorry I gotta do this, Ma.

-What?

- I really didn't wanna have to do this.

-What you talking about?

- This is a letter to the IRS for you not paying

any of your taxes on the tips that you be collecting.

So.

- Nigga, I know you ain't threatening me

with the motherfucking government.

- Ma, you brought it to this. - You little bitch ass.

- That's no way to talk to your son.

You shouldn't talk to your son like that, Ma.

- Damn, I knew I should have gotten an abortion.

- Why would you say something like that?

- Mm-hm, your daddy tried to pay me to get rid of you.

- Okay, Ma, that -- that -- that's --

- He didn't want you either. He offered me $30.00.

Just think, for 39.99, yo ass wouldn't even be sitting here.

- Are you --

okay, Ma, are you gon' do it or not?

- Who the hell you talking to?

You know what? I listened to my damn sister.

She told me to go ahead, have it, how bad can it be?

As a matter of fact, I'm gon' call that bitch right now,

and cuss her out.

And tell her, that you just threatened me

with the I, R, and the motherfucking S.

- Okay, Ma, whatever you need to do,

I just need you to stop doing that.

- You still threatening me. - I love you.

- Oh, you don't love me.

- That's what you be saying to me when you talk crazy to me.

- Nah, you don't love me, motherfucker.

- Well, you were just talking about abortion.

Ma, you gotta stop doing that.

- You talking about the damn government.

- That's what you do to me, "I love ya."

- Wait 'til I call Geraldine's bitch ass.

Damn, speaking of one firm ass. - Ma! Ma, you just said it.

You --

- Okay, okay, okay, okay, have it your way, damn.

Hello, William. - William?

- Yes, yes, how are you today?

- I'm -- I'm okay.

- Good, good, is there anything I can do for you?

- No, Ms. Alice, I'm good, I'm good.

- Okay, well, very well , motherfucker.

- Have a seat, what's up, man? - Yo, what was that about?

- Just me taking care of a little business,

I had to threaten her with the IRS.

- And it worked? - Seem like it.

- You should have done that a long ass time ago .

- I should've. - Yeah, man.

- What's up, man, what bring you in here?

- Yo, man, I -- I was headed to this job,

and, I just gotta talk to somebody.

- What's up? - It's Pamela, man.

- Pamela? - Yep.

- Mike, Pamela? - Yes, sir.

- What about her?

- Last night, she made a pass at me.

- What, she like drove past you, like, what you mean?

- No, like, a pass, bruh.

- She made a pass, what do you mean?

I don't understand. - Look, look, okay, look,

you know, I was in the car, you know, she kissed me, and --

- Wait, wait, wait, wait. - She called Regina.

- She kissed you? - Yeah, she called Regina,

and, you know, made it seem like it was her.

Yeah. - Did you tell Regina?

- No, man, okay, look, this is what happened.

I drove her back, you know, kiss me, whoopdy-woo.

- Whoo - whoop? -She called Regina,

and was like, "Hey," you know, whatever,

tryna make it seem like it, you know,

like, they set me up to see if I'd fall for it.

- So -- so, just to be clear, so, what you saying is --?

- Yes, she was flirting with me.

I think Pam was really flirting with me.

- Mike's Pam was flirting with you, Bill?

- Yeah.

- Have you personally talked to Regina about it?

- See, now, that's the thing,

me and Regina ain't been talking.

- Be honest. - Always.

- Did you -- - Nah, man, come on.

- Like.

- Come on now, man, you know I wouldn't do that.

- Yeah, you ain't like Mike.

- Hell nah, I ain't, come on now.

- Shit!

I don't know what to tell you, man.

- I don't know, man, I gotta figure this out, though.

- I can't help you. - Yeah, you right.

I don't even know why I came here to talk to you.

- But, I can give you some, you know --

- Nah, I don't what I'm -- I don't even --

- -- some words of encouragement.

- You know what? I should've talked to Tom.

- Okay, well, you -- I gave you some --

- Nah, it's all good, my bad, I'm sorry.

- You ain't gotta apologize, nigga,

you came to the right person. - Alright.

- 'Cuz I -- I be having good advice.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- I just don't know what to do about this.

- No.

You know what? I'm gon' go hit up Tom,

'cuz you ain't the one, but I appreciate it.

No offense. - Fuck you, Bill.

- I'll take that with love. - All love.

Alright. - Ba-ba-ba .

- Okay, alright, just make sure you take those.

Let us know if you need anything at all.

Bye.

- What up, Doc?

- Bill, s'up, what are you doing here?

- I'm good. Hold up.

- What the -- What -- what are you doing?

- I ain't tryna catch what's in the air.

- Can you stop that? - What? You at work?

- No, I have to work, okay?

How did you even know I was working in here?

- Bruh, you only work in, like, two rooms.

- Touché. -Yeah.

- So, what can I help you with?

- Oh, what was wrong with ol' girl who just left?

- Bill, come on. - What? She was fine as hell.

- She has Ebola.

- Damn, why you didn't say something

when I first came in, stupid?

- I can't tell you that, Bill, alright, what do you need?

- Don't do that, don't do that.

- I'm busy, I got some things to do, what's up?

- Ain't nobody in here.

- I got some more patients in the lobby.

- I just walked through the lobby,

ain't nobody in there.

- Bill, I'm a doctor, we have alot of work to do,

it doesn't always require patients.

I got a stack of paperwork here.

- Oh! - I got things to do.

- Hold up, hold up. - Yeah, yeah?

- What's going on here? - What do you mean?

- You sly devil you. - What?

- What's up, you tryna get rid of me?

- Yes, Bill, I'm tryna get rid of you.

-How's that? Yes, time to go.

- Why?

- Because you're here in the middle of my work day,

and you're not telling me what you're here for. What's up?

- That hurts.

I need a reason to see my most trusted friend?

- Oh, no.

-Maybe I was just thinking about you,

and I was like, "Yo, what's up with Doc?"

I know you have a stressful, you know, profession.

-I'm -- I'm looking for my passport --

-For what?

- On this guilt trip you're sending me on, John.

- You sound like John.

- Alright, alright, alright, it's true.

-Yeah.

- Alright, for real, for real, for real, .

- What's up? - A'ight yo, a'ight yo, um,

I really need to talk to you, seriously.

- Okay, I'm listening, I'm all here for you.

- So, last night, um, Pam made a pass at me.

- What? - Mm-hm.

- Okay, so, what kind of pass?

- What the fuck kind of pass you think?

Are you talking about --

you think I'm talking about football or something?

What the -- a hall pass?

Nigga, what do you think -- what are you saying?

- What kind of pass did she make, Bill?

- No, a pass-pass, like, a sexual pass.

- And we're talking about the Pamela?

- Yep, the one that Mike's crazy about.

- Ah, damn!

- So, next thing she did, you know, she got on the phone,

act like she was talking to Regina,

and making it seem like it was a joke,

like, Regina put her up to it.

Now, see the thing is, I was right next to her,

I didn't hear nobody on the other end.

- Wow!

Okay, okay, let me ask you a question.

- What's up? - Did anything happen?

- I mean, she kissed me.

- So, she kissed you,

or is this more like a peck on the lips?

- It was a peck on my dick. - What?

- No, I'm just joking, I'm joking.

- Don't do that, don't do that.

-Nah, nah, I'm playing, I'm playing, nah.

It was just a peck on my lips.

- Okay, no harm, no foul, let this go.

Yeah. - You think so?

- Bro, yes, okay, we already know Mike and his complex,

just let it go.

- That nigga is short .

- Yeah, he is very short,

and he doesn't ever let us forget it.

- "Hey, I'm Mike." - "I'm -- I'm big.

I'm big where it counts."

- Yes, bro, so trust me, let this one go.

-Alright. - Alright?

Don't -- -Alright.

- Just don't say nothing. -Alright.

- I'm good, I won't say anything.

- But peep this, what if she tells him before I do?

- That woman is not crazy.

If she knows Mike like we know Mike,

she will not want him to know this.

- Yeah, that's true. - Yeah.

Yeah, that's true, trust me.

Just let it go. - Okay.

- Alright? - Alright.

Well, I'ma go ahead and talk to Regina real quick, so.

- Oh, she's talking to you again?

- No, but I'm gon' get her to talk to me.

- Bill, that's known as stalking.

- Actually, don't you --

don't you say the 'S' word, okay?

It's not stalking, it's called SAP.

- What the hell is SAP? - Slightly Aggressive Pursuit.

- Okay, we don't need aggressive anything,

this woman already talked legal action towards you.

I want you to be careful, alright?

- Okay. - No SAP.

- No SAP. - No SAP.

- SAP free. - SAP free.

We good? - I think we good.

- Okay. - Alright, Doc.

I 'preciate you, Doctor. - Talk to you later.

- A'ight.

A'ight, bruh. - A'ight, cool.

- Knock, knock. - Greg, what's up, bruh?

- Yo. - What up, man?

- Gee, yo, what are you -- what are you doing here?

- Yeah, well.

- He's moving here, imagine that.

- Hold up, you -- you moving from --

to Atlanta? - Yeah.

- From L.A.? - Yeah.

- Uh-huh.

- Boy, I thought you'd never leave L.A.

- That's what I told him, that's exactly what I said.

- Yo, look, how's Jen? - Oh, long story.

- Bruh, don't, don't tell me. - Divorced.

- Damn! If y'all two can't make it,

ain't no hope for the rest of us.

- That's what I told him.

- Am I interrupting anything here?

- Nah, nah, nah, you're good, I was just dipping out.

- Okay.

- But actually, Bill, I do gotta get a key made,

so Greg can get settled, so, um.

- Hold up, you staying with Tom?

- Yeah, yeah, just -- just until I buy a place out here, though.

- What? - Yeah, man.

- Oh! - You know.

- M.D.s not DM boys, y'all about to be --

Running through these .

- We're back together, back together,

you know what it is, bruh.

- The dynamic duo is back .

-Yep.

I can't shake this kid, love this guy.

- Can't lose me, Dr. Brooks.

- Alright, well, a'ight, cool, so --

- Alright, Dr. Hunter.

- So, so, let's go 'head, um, I'ma go figure this out.

- Okay. - And I'ma call you later.

- Okay. - Yeah.

- Cool, we'll talk later,

but listen, just follow my advice on this one, please?

- I been taking all your advice, of course, that's why I came.

- Appreciate that. Make sure, no SAP.

- No SAP. - No SAP.

- SAP free.

- And that other thing I said, let it go, don't --

- Let it go. -Let it go.

- It's here, it's there, I let it go.

- Perfect.

- I can't wait to get filled in on this shit.

-Nah, we ain't gon' talk about it.

- Let him know what's happening, it's alright.

I got you, I'm good. -Okay.

- Seriously, I'm done, I'm gon' go do something.

- Perfect. Eh, Bill?

I'm telling you, take my advice on this.

- I always take your advice, I got you.

- He's not about to listen to you, is he?

- Ah, definitely not, not at all.

- And what's SAP? - You don't wanna know.

- No? - That guy, he's got problems.

- Yeah, yeah. - Don't, uh.

- I know, I know.

- Don't follow his lead, just stick with me --

- I got you. - You'll be alright,

you'll be alright out here, alright?

- Yeah, I think the best thing to do

is to talk to their counsel.

Absolutely, we have several former IRS attorneys

that work for us. Yep.

Absolutely, thank you.

Alright, I'll see you in the office in a bit.

Alright, thanks.

- Come in.

- Hey! - What's up?

- What -- what you doing? - I'm working.

- Ah, working from home, lucky for me.

And, look, we kinda got matching sweaters, that's cute.

Yours got a zipper, though, but it's all good.

- Yeah, mine is better. - Yeah, yours is much better.

- Yeah, I'm about to --

I'm about to head to the office, so.

- No, no, no, no, no, I -- I wanna talk to you.

- So, you took her home last night, right?

- Who? - Pamela.

- Oh, yeah. - What was she saying?

- She, uh, she call you today? - No.

- Oh. - What was she saying?

- You know women, "Oh my god, I'm so drunk,

"where's my nails, oh my shoes, oh.

It's my period," you know, shit like that.

- Hope she wasn't saying that, but you --

I feel like you're lying. - Why -- why would I lie?

- But she wasn't saying, "I can't stand that bastard,

he's a sorry son of a bitch," none of that?

- No, she didn't say that. - Then what she say?

- Well, that's what I'm here to talk to you about.

- Talk, nigga, talk.

- A'ight, look, I know you like her.

- You'd be wrong.

- Come on, I'm your boy, be honest.

- It's over, I'm not into that, I'm good.

- Okay, 'cuz why?

'Cuz she's not doing what you want her to do?

- Don't fix your mouth to talk to me like that

when you got all that shit going on with Regina.

- A'ight. - Okay?

- Touché. - Touché?

- Touché. - Touché, good.

Because that's not what it is. -Okay.

- Alright?

- So, you don't care if she sees other dudes?

- She always sees other dudes. - Some old ones, too.

- What? - Huh?

- Nigga, what do you know?

- I don't know nothing, but I know you.

- You think you know me, but you don't.

You don't know nothing. - Oh, okay.

Alright, well, look, I just need to --

I'm --

- What, what, what, what do you know?

What is it? - Well, I don't know.

- You don't know? What happened?

- See, what had happened when it happened,

didn't happen the way I wanted it to happen,

but it happened anyway,

so technically, you can say nothing happened,

but something did happen. - Nigga, what happened?

What -- why you talking to me like this?

What's up? - I'm just saying.

- Nig -- what, was -- was there another dude at her house?

- Nope, no, nope! - You're lying.

- No, why -- what -- what do you mean?

- There's something you're not telling me,

you need to just tell me now 'cuz you're pissing me off.

What is it? - It's -- it's --

- It's, it's, it's what? - It's -- she --

- She what?

- What, talk!

- She kissed me!