Original subtitles

- So, how long have you known him?

- We dated a few years. - So, did we.

-Previously on "Bruh"--

- You know what, we need to compare notes.

- Why are you in my house? - I still have your key. Hi.

- Damn, man. - What?

- They about to know all my dirty little secrets.

- Come on, let's go to the bedroom.

- You kinda deserved that shit. - Come on.

- I have somebody coming over here.

- You ain't no saint your damn self.

- We can have a threesome.

- Put yourself in that situation.

- I'm not coming back here anymore.

- Your mom just called me. She said she feels like

she's having a heart attack. I'm on my way there right now.

Just get there, okay?

- Mama! Mama, where you at?

Mama. - I'm over here, nigga.

- Oh. What's wrong? What happened?

- Ms. Alice, you okay? - What happened?

- It's my heart. - What happened though?

- Well, we were--uh, well, I was fucking.

- Okay, Ma, like, that's'-- that's not the important part.

What happened to your heart? Let's stay focused.

- But that's what we were doing. - Okay, Ma, I understand that

but you talking about your heart, like, okay--

- Well, I can't tell you about my heart

without telling you how it happened.

- Okay, Ma, go ahead. Tell me what happened.

- Well, we were fucking. - Ma, you said that already.

Don't say it twice. Just talk about the heart.

- Okay. We was fucking.

- Okay. Can you stay focused?

Remember your heart, something's wrong, like--

- Well, you keep interrupting me.

- Okay, Mom, please just tell me--tell me what happened.

For real, come on. - Well, we were--

- We get it. - --fucking.

- Please, Ma. - I just like saying the shit.

It turn me on.

- Mama, you shouldn't be turned on right now.

Your heart, remember?

Is something really wrong with your heart?

- Yes, nigga, I'm trying to tell you that.

- Well, tell us, please. - Please.

- We're here for it. - Okay, fine.

We were fucking. - Okay, okay.

- Oh my God. - Ms. Alice, we get it.

We get it. - Do you wanna get it?

- Ms. Alice, can you tell us what happened?

- Please. - Okay, okay.

He wanted me to take it. - What?

- And flip it. - Okay, Ma.

Can you tell me what happened to your heart, please?

- Oh, yes, yes, yes. I tell you, I tell you. See--

see, as I turned it up and started to twerk it,

I felt this pain in the left side of my chest.

And I said stop. But he kept going.

- So, he was hurting you? - You know, in a good way.

- Ma, you just said you told him to stop and he kept going.

- I ain't like them other bitches.

My stop always means go.

- Ma, can you stay focused, please?

- And you know I like to play the virgin.

- Get yo' mama.

- Yeah, and then I heard something go errrrr,

and he had turned the vibrator on.

- Okay. - Oh, Ma, we don't need that.

- But you didn't guess what he did.

- Please, Ma, we don't want to know. Don't guess.

Please, don't-- - No, no, no. He went harder.

- Ma, can we stay focused?

I just really wanna know what happened to you heart.

Please? - Okay. Okay.

And then I used the strength of my kitty wall.

- Oh my god. - And clenched up on him.

And then he stopped. And then you know what he did?

He just ran the fuck out. Left me there in pain.

- So, Ma, you telling me he didn't call a ambulance?

- No.

- So, Mama, why wouldn't you say that at first?

You could've been laying here dead.

- Hell, you asked me what happened?

- Ma, you didn't have to go all--

- I'm gonna call 'em right now. Okay? I'm gonna

call 'em right now. - Ma, you went all

the way to that, like this is life and death.

You sittin' here talkin' about, "He was wah-wah."

Like, you should've told me that.

- Why you acting like you the motherfucker

having a heart attack? - Ma, okay.

- I'm the one in pain. - I know.

- I know I'm pretty. - You're beautiful, Ma.

- Yes. - But I care about you.

Your heart, okay? And you took us all the way there

to tell us that no emergency people was called to help you.

- Ooo, that pain.

- I can't-- - Like, where you feelin' it?

- I can't be talking to you. - I--I just called 'em.

The ambulance is on the way.

- Okay, Tom, said he called them earlier.

- Okay.

- Well, what's takin' 'em so long?

- Ma, they gonna come. He called 'em,

they got the address. It's gonna be fine.

- Well, maybe they don't know where the house is.

- Ma, they know where the house is, they--

you call them, they know the location.

- Well, what if they miss it? - They're not gonna miss it, Ma.

Okay? It's alright, calm down.

- This the house all the men come

on Friday night. - What?

- Shit, I know a couple of ambulance drivers.

- What? - They know where I'm at.

- Okay. I'm sure those are not the ones that were called.

Okay. - Yeah.

- They're coming, Ma. Just relax, please.

Like, your heart, like this--relax.

- If Tom called 'em, they should've been here.

Hell, he half white. - Right.

- Should be half on time.

- Ma, Ma, they coming, okay? I don't know why they

taking a long time but they're coming, okay?

- Go on and wait for 'em. - Okay, Ma.

- I'll be here with Bill. - How did we beat them here?

- Just because of where we live, man.

- Yeah. Yeah, you right. - That's what it is.

I'm gonna go see if they here, Ma.

- Okay, go on out there.

And what the hell wrong with my house?

- Nothing, it's a beautiful house, Ms. Alice.

It's very-- - Yeah, I know.

But this is the place there is to live.

- How you figure that?

- You ain't got nothing no motherfucker wanna steal.

- Yeah, you do have a point. Yeah.

- Bill.

If this is my last time, could you just hold me?

- Ms. Alice. - Yes?

- Isn't that what got you in this situation

in the first place? - No, fucking did.

- Okay, no, I'm not doing this. - It's so hard to give it up.

- Okay. - I love it so much.

I love it so much more now that I've gotten older.

- Oh okay.

- You know, as I got older, I got more and more beautiful.

And more and more sexier. - Ms. Alice.

- And more and more horny. Hold my hand.

- Ms. Alice you just got done having sex.

- Smell it. - No, no.

I don't know where your hand been.

- Oh, you hurt my heart. Oo, ow. - Okay, I'm sorry.

Let me--let me get some hand sanitizer.

- Oh shit. Oh shit.

How could you do that to a dying woman?

- I'm gonna get it right. - Oh shit.

I ain't talking about that shit. Go on.

- Ma, Tom here. - There he is.

Hey. - Hey.

- Hey. Check my chest.

- Okay, focus.

- Okay, Ms. Alice just calm down.

- And focus. - I'm here.

I'm gonna make sure you're okay.

Can you tell me what's hurting right now?

- Everything.

- I'm just gonna take your blood pressure.

- Okay. Did you warm this shit up?

- Ma. - This'll be just fine, alright?

- Focus. - Okay.

- She okay? - Yeah.

So, do you feel a pain in your chest right now?

- No, but I'm looking at a pain in my ass.

- Ma, can we stay focused on what's going on, okay?

It's alright. - But you are.

You just a damn pain.

- Ma, this ain't the time right now.

- Well, I'm shit--

- Okay, Ms. Alice can you tell me what was happening

when you first felt the pain? - No, don't ask her that.

- Well, it all started when I was fucking.

- Okay, that took an unexpected turn.

- What the hell?

- I hear the ambulance, I'm about to go.

- Oh, you know what, just in time.

- She dying? Is she dying or something, man?

- No, no, just in time to save me from that story.

- Don't be saying-- - Oh no, trust me,

you don't want to hear that story.

It involves a Korean and fucking.

- Okay, I'll go get the ambulance.

- Wait, wait, oh shit. - What? What mama?

What? What's wrong? - It's the pain. It's the pain.

- Okay, Ms. Alice can you pinpoint

exactly where you feel the pain.

- It's all--it's all in here under my, under my ribs

or something. - Hey man, help her, man.

- Okay. Okay, Ms. Alice, your pulse and your blood pressure

are perfectly fine. Okay?

- I'm having a heart attack. - Tom, come on, man.

- May I try something? - Anything to stop this pain.

- Okay, just let me trace this here.

- What are you doing, doc?

- Oh. - Ma, Ma!

just don't-- - Turning me on.

- Ma, I thought you was hurtin'.

- Well, I am but that make me tingle.

- What?

- Oh. - Oh! What the hell is that?

I had my mouth open. -My nose bleeding.

- Damn, oh, I feel better.

- It was just gas, Ms. Alice. You're okay.

- Oh, gas make you feel like that?

- It can, it depends, you know. - Damn. Eh.

- Yeah, you might want to, um, think about changing your diet.

A little less lactose, less cheese.

- Oh.

Is that why I'm farting so much when I'm fucking?

- Um, okay, Ms. Alice, I think you're good.

- Am I? - Yes.

- 'Cause I feel like you done shook something loose.

Whoa, whoa, I got to run to the bathroom.

- Guys, guys, grow up, please. Thank you.

- Did you smell that? - Yeah, I can smell that.

- Boy, your mama done fumigated the whole building. Ooh.

I think my nose is bleeding. - Is she a'ight?

- Yeah. Yeah, she's fine.

It was just excess bloating. It leads to gas.

It gets built up, so. - Hold up, hold up.

So, your mama called us all the way over here

to help her fart? - Shut up. So--

- Well, it's not exactly that--

- So, ain't nothing wrong with her heart?

- Well, you really dedicated. - No, no, her hearts fine.

She'll be okay. - Okay.

-Hey, y'all tell them ambulance people

to go somewhere?

I ain't gonna pay them to have to take me to the hospital.

- She sounds--she sound like-- she sound fine.

- I mean, she's right though. Ambulance can be very expensive.

You might want to, uh, head that off before they get up here.

- Okay. Well, let me kinda catch 'em.

I'll be back. - A'ight.

Doc, how you-- Your nostrils right?

-It's fine. - It's not fine.

-Just relax, Bill. - It's foul as hell.

- Regina, what--what you doing here?

- Uh, your mama called me and said she was having

a heart attack. - She's not.

She's fine, actually. - What?

- Yeah.

- So, I drove all the way over here for nothing?

- Uh, yeah. She just had to-- - Had to fart.

- Okay, I was gonna tell her. - Well, I mean, it's the truth.

- She okay though. - You can smell that.

- Well, listen, goodnight, guys.

Regina, I apologize for having to leave.

But I was trying to get some sleep tonight, so--

- I'll walk you out. - Bye.

- Thanks, man. I hope my car's still there.

- Boy, get your light-skinned ass out.

Your car's still here.

- I mean, it's a bad neighborhood.

What do you want me to do?

- Stop with that light-skinned shit, bro.

- It's a valid point. - Uh, Ms. Alice, you okay?

-Yes. - I wouldn't go in there.

-I'm airing out the bathroom, girl.

Don't come in here. Save your edges.

- What is happening? - Just don't do it.

I'm telling you. - Alright,

well, I'm just gonna go home.

-No, I'll be out in a minute.

Wait on me. I know you need to talk to me.

- Ms. Alice, it's okay, I'll come back.

-I said wait. - Okay.

- If I were you, I would just go ahead

and stay over there by that door.

- Why?

- Because when she come out of there,

you gonna wanna run like hell.

- Mmm, interesting. I kinda wanna run like hell now.

- So, um, I'm guessing you talked to Natalie.

- Yeah, I did.

- And? - And what, Bill?

- What happened to you going to LA?

I thought you was about to-- - I changed my mind.

- Good. - Yeah.

I'm not about to let you run me away from my entire life.

- I don't want to do that.

- You don't know what you want to do.

- Yes, I do. - Okay, and what is that? Hmm?

- I want to be with you. - Really?

'Cause you just wanted to be with her a little while ago.

- Well, that's 'cause I thought you was gone.

I had no--I couldn't have you, so--

- What? She told me that y'all

was sleeping together while we we're dating, so--

- No, no. Nope, mm-mm.

Remember that time we went on a break? That's when that

whole thing happened. - Yeah, naw, nigga.

We wasn't on no break.

We did the math. - Oh damn.

- Yeah, to the day.

- I thought you weren't good at math.

- Really? We compared text messages and all that.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Look, uh, look, a'ight, you wanna go talk?

- Mm-mm. - Look, look, I'm sorry.

- Are you? No, don't be. Let me just--

- Should we just-- - Let me just--let me just read

you a little sumpin', sumpin' that y'all--nah, I'll just--

Hold on.

"Hey, bae, what are you doing?" Me, "Waiting for you."

You, "I'm running late at the gym, I'll be there

in two hours." - Alright, Regina, you made--

- No, there's more. I say, "Okay, babe, love you."

What do you say? Not a damn thing.

Then there's a screenshot from her phone.

You wanna know what you said? You wanna know what you said?

- I didn't say nothing. - Imma tell you what you said.

"Hey, babe, what are you doing?" Her, "Waiting on you."

Mind you this is the same day. - It was.

- Mm-hmm.

You, "I'm outside but I only have an hour.

I have to meet the guys, we have a poker game."

- Okay, okay, you made your point.

I'm a piece of shit. Or I was a piece of shit.

- You think? - That's it.

- But I have more. - No, no.

- Oh no, it gets worse.

- You don't have to read any more.

- No, I'm gonna read more. - Regina, you made your point.

Look, look, okay, hear me out. I was young.

I was stupid. I was immature.

- You were young?

Nigga, this wasn't no ten years ago.

It wasn't even five years ago.

- Well, it felt like a lifetime ago to me.

- You know what? I'm suing you.

You play too much. For what?

- For what? - Yeah.

- My wedding. Remember that?

The cost for all the damages. Yeah.

- You don't want to talk about--

I mean, you being serious right now?

- I'm dead serious, Bill.

- You would actually like-- you would do that to me?

- Oh, with the quickness. - Okay, no, stop playing.

- You'll be served tomorrow. - Damn. Shit.

You don't wanna--you don't wanna go somewhere

and talk about this? - No, Bill, I don't.

I don't wanna talk.

- Okay, you don't believe that I've changed, right?

- You were just with the girl. - That's a good point, but--

- This is crazy.

It's the same thing with you over and over and over.

Like, I can't do this. - What if I get some help?

- Help? - Yeah.

- What you need help with? Hmm? - Just not doing this.

- And you think a doctor can help you with that?

-Hey, a preacher can't even help him with that.

- Hey, Ms. Alice. - Hey.

- You okay? - Yeah.

- Can you close that door?

- If I do that, that odor will be trapped in there.

- Oh fuck it.

Regina, let's go somewhere and talk.

- I'm good.

I'm gonna stay here and talk with Ms. Alice.

- You wanna talk to her in here with that smell?

- Oh boy, that smell like roses.

- Ooo, I don't know what kind of--I'm gonna go.

Can I talk to you later? - Bye.

- Alright, okay, bye.

- Well, thank you for everything.

- Okay. - Okay?

- How do you? - Turn the knob.

- And you wanna fuck him? - Thank you.

- It's a little sumpin'. - A little sumpin' sumpin'.

Girl, I thought he'd never leave.

- I know.

- Go home. -Boy, open the door.

- Yo, who is that? -It's your boy, Billy.

- What the hell? Yo.

What are you doing here?

- Chill, man.

- What is it?

- Man, tell whatever thot you got up in here to go home.

- By myself. No thot.

- Man, you always got always got some thot up in here.

Stop playin'. - Look, I'm by myself.

What's up? - That's weird as hell.

- Why is that weird?

- 'Cause you don't like being by yourself.

- Nigga, I'm by myself now. What? What?

- Yo, uh, I need some legal advice.

- See me at the office in the morning, man.

I'm going to bed. - No, no.

I need some now. - I'm going to bed.

- I've been calling, why ain't you pick up your phone?

- Case in point, I'm going to bed, man. I'm going to bed.

- Okay, let me just ask you real quick.

- What nigga? - Can Regina sue me?

- What? - Yeah, man.

She said she was gonna sue me for ruining her wedding.

And I thought it was romantic, but whatever.

You know, all that, pay for the damages.

- You thought her suing you was romantic?

- No, me breaking up the wedding.

- You thought breaking up a wedding was romantic?

- For me and her. - What about the other nigga?

- Fuck him.

- That's why your ass gettin' sued.

- Yo, can she sue me? - Yes, she can sue you.

Anybody can sue anybody.

Doesn't mean she's gonna win but, yeah, she can sue you.

- Okay, okay.

Well, will you be there by my side to help me, represent me?

- No, she's not gonna sue you. So, you're good.

- No, you didn't see the look in her eyes, man.

She big mad. - Talk to her.

Sit her down and talk to her.

- She ain't trying to talk to my black ass.

- Well, your black ass about to get sued then.

- Damn. You know what?

This is all your fault. - Okay, what did I do?

- Man, y'all punk ass-- You just gonna drink all this?

- Give me. - Man, a'ight.

- Take some. - Thank you.

- You came over there and brought Natalie over

and now her and Regina went and compared notes

and found out I was sleeping with them

at the same time.

No, I'm good. - What, word?

- Yeah, man. - They saw each other?

- Yeah, man. I was right in there.

All of that.

Regina was just standing there, just--

- What the--what the fuck is so funny, boy?

- Regina was standing there watching?

- Yeah.

- Like outside the window, like peeking in or--

- No, right in the bed, Mike. She was here.

My head was there. Regina was there.

- In the room? - In the room, bruh.

- Yeah, I told you, gotta get a bedroom door.

You a grown ass man in a studio.

- Nigga, you ain't got a bedroom door.

- See, I--I--I like that freaky shit.

- Yeah, you do. - It look like you got caught.

You got busted up. - A'ight, 'sup?

You ain't got no legal advice for me?

- My legal advice comes from this law book

that I read in college. - What's up?

- It's called take your ass home and do nothing, man.

- Michael Alexander, don't be an ass.

- Bill Washington, it is late.

- Come on, man.

Mike, you're a son of a bitch. - Here we go.

- No, no, you are. Mike, I came here.

- You know what, I'm gonna mosey on out.

- No, no, no, don't leave.

Mike, I came here to try and talk to you

and you were such an asshole.

- I'm gonna go ahead and just hit this door.

- No, don't go.

Did he tell you that he tried to put me out of here?

That he did put me out of here.

- No, he left out that information.

- Exactly--no, I know he didn't tell you.

- Okay. Well, I'm gonna--

- Mike, Mike. - What?

- You know what? You're gonna get yours.

You're gonna get yours for sure. - Okay, Pam, go home.

Go home. - I can't.

- Why? - I can't get a car.

- Why? - My phone is dead.

- How 'bout this? Ssh, kids. Here.

How 'bout I take you home and you stay right here, Michael?

- Good idea. - Can you carry my shoes?

- Look at that serendipity. - Sure.

- Thank you.

- Both of y'all can get the fuck out.

- Okay. - You know what?

Don't ever call me again.

- Don't worry about it. I won't. Okay.

Leave the key.

Can you take the key from her? - No, I'm taking it with me.

Come on, Bill. - You owe me.

- You owe me my keys. - Pro bono.

- Get me my keys. - Look, what you got me doing.

- Bill.

- Pam, you're not supposed to be here.

- Bye Pam. Bye.

Bye. Sober up. - Let's mosey on out.

- . - Hold your liquor, man.

-Okay, go on. Okay, don't--

Y'all need help.

- You okay? - I will be.

- Look, I'm sorry about that.

- Sorry about what, Bill? Mike is Mike.

- I know, but damn.

He didn't have to be mean like that though.

- What and you're not? You're not mean to Regina?

- I mean, not like the way y'all be going at each other.

Damn. - I mean like--

Tell me what it is. 'Cause I don't get it.

Why--why are you guys like this? Why?

- I can't have this conversation with you.

- Bill, all we are trying to-- we just want love.

We want to be treated right and we want to be cared for.

It's not that hard.

- Yeah, but aren't you seeing like hella dudes?

- You know why?

- No, and this is a judgement free zone.

None of my business. - No, I'll tell you why.

- Alright, go ahead.

- You really wanna know why? - Let's go.

- It's 'cause I can't get what I need and want from one man.

- That's interesting. Go on.

- So, like, Mike offered something that I needed.

And then, I mean, Hakim offered something that I needed.

And Wilson offered something that I needed.

And Clarence offered something that I needed.

Hold up, uh, Clarence? - Yeah, you know him?

You know him?

- No, no, but Wilson and Clarence sound old as hell.

They like senior citizens or something?

- I mean, yeah, kind of.

- Oh, so, you into the old men thing, you know?

- A little bit, I mean. - Can they eat solid foods?

- Whatever. Call it daddy issues.

Call it whatever.

- Yep, all y'all women got daddy issues.

You can say that again. - Bill,

like y'all don't have mommy issues? Come on.

- Touche. - Okay.

- Touche. Touche.

- Uh, my house is right up there.

- A'ight.

Okay.

- Okay, um, well, you have a good night.

- You too.

And again, I'm sorry about, you know, Mike and all that.

What's up? - Okay.

- Come in. - What?

- Come inside. - Nah, nah.

- Let's keep talking. This is a great conversation.

- Yeah, it is but it's you here, we here.

This is gonna stop. You drunk, so.

- Okay, but I'm not stupid.

I'm not even drunk, I know what I'm saying.

- Okay, okay.

I get that, but I'm gonna go ahead and pass on that. Oof.

Playing with fire.

Pam, you really gotta stop this. This is weird as hell.

- Bill, are you sure. - This is awkward.

Yes, I'm sure. - Bill.

- No, I'm sure-- Don't.

Look, what are you doing? - Bill.

- Please, stop. Stop, what-- - Bill.

- Stop. - Bill.

- Pam, no. A'ight, go.

Get out. - Bill, just look at me.

Come here. Come here.

- No. Stop. Stop. Okay?

- Bill. - What?

Can you get out? - Bill.