Original subtitles

- What do you think is about to happen, bro?!

- All this negative energy y'all sending my way!

- Previously on "Bruh..."

- Where exactly is her man during all of this?

- LAURA: Oh, he is so handsome. - Mm, I know.

- I'll take care of that little bitch.

- LAURA: Is she wearing white?

- Can we just get to the church? Time is of the essence.

- This is gonna be real interesting.

- Hold on. Regina, marry me.

- Bill, you need to go. - Marry me.

- Get out of here right now. - This shit fin'a get good.

- [indistinct screaming]

- ♪

- Yeah, get his ass up out of here.

He ruined our wedding, all the guests are gone.

- Regina, marry me.

- I don't wanna marry you, I don't want to, okay?

- Regina, come on. - No. I won't.

Like I said before, I'm in love with Peter.

- No, you're not, come on. - You heard her.

- Regina, please.

- Nigga, did you hear what I said?

- REGINA: Just calm down.

- Regina, stop touching him like that.

- Are you fucking crazy?! - And so what?

It meant nothing?

- Bill, leave now. You've ruined my life enough.

- I'm not leaving.

- Mike, get your friend, this--come on.

- What am I supposed to do? - Get him out of here.

This isn't fair to them! - Okay, fine. Okay.

- I'm sorry, guys. - MIKE: No, come on, it's okay.

- I love you. - I don't care.

- So what? This is it?

- Bill, I told you that last night.

- Wait. Wait, what? - ALICE: Oh, shit.

- Oh, this getting good.

- He's crying now. Bill, get your sling.

- No, man, get your side chick. Tell her to shut the hell up.

- Side chick? Sweetheart...

- [indistinct arguing]

- I'll turn this all the way up.

- Come on now. - It's okay.

- Bill, come on, man, y'all just--

- We're with you, bro. - What the fuck, man?

- No, just let me--let-- let me say this shit, okay?

Look, I know I messed up, alright?

- Girl, you must have some good pussy.

- Mama. - What you name her?

Mine is Christie.

- REGINA: Miss Alice, please.

- ALICE: Ooh, shit.

You won't be taking no shit out of my hand.

You gon' have another fight up in here,

you better give me that damn glass back.

Thank you. - Ma.

- Don't "Ma" me. That bitch ain't crazy.

- Ma, this--this is--come on, what is wrong with you?

- Shut up. - Ma, would you stop?

- Motherfucker, shut up. - These people weddin',

you sittin' here-- - You think I give a fuck?

- Ma, you drunk. - And?

What else you do at a wedding? You get drunk. Shit.

- No, you don't. - Folks up in here fighting

and you talkin' 'bout me. - You sittin' in the middle

of it like it's a show. - This is a show!

Yeah, this a reality show,

it's better than the damn Housewives.

- Ma. - Fightin' and shit.

Tearin' up the club.

- Look, I know I messed up, alright?

I know I missed my chance.

I know I made a damn fool of myself.

- ALICE: You damn sure did.

- But...

And I'm sorry I ruined your wedding.

But I was willing to make a fool of myself

for that woman right there, because I love her.

And just so you know, that man will never love you

like I love you.

He will never hold you like I held you.

And he will never make love to you

like I made love to you.

And he will never-- - Break my heart like you did?

- And I've been sorry every day since.

- And now you'll be gone every day.

- How about you tell him about last night then?

- TOM: Bill, come on.

- ♪ Navigating through the state of life ♪

♪ Trying to find me a shawty and make her mine ♪

♪ Now, I'll find one in no time ♪

♪ With the help of my homies

♪ I'm going out with my bruhs

♪ My bruhs, I'm going out, I'm going out ♪

♪ With my bruhs

♪ I'm going out, going out with my bruhs ♪

♪ Going out

♪ Bruhs

♪ Ooh, going out, going out

♪ With the bruhs ♪

- ♪

- What? - No, no, let's talk about it.

- Really? - Yeah, really.

- MIKE: Hey, man, hey, let's just go.

- No, no, no, no. I wanna talk.

- Say what you gotta say.

- No, nothing, nothing, let's go. Bill.

- You gon' tell him?

- So you would just say and do anything

to see me unhappy, huh?

- I am what makes you happy.

- You're too arrogant to know the truth.

- Right.

Let's talk about the truth, then.

We can talk about the truth all day long.

- So you really just wanna hurt me, huh?

Go ahead, go ahead. - I'm not trying to hurt you.

- Then what are you trying to do?!

- I'm trying to love you!

- That's one of your problems, Bill.

You don't know the difference between the two,

they're not the same thing.

- I'm the one for you.

- Alright, so you wanna do this? - Do what?

- Have a whole conversation here.

- Bill, Bill, let's go. - Ow.

- Let's go. - No, I just--

- REGINA: No, no, no, no.

You said you got something to say, right?

Go ahead and say it.

- I don't-- - No, Peter, I think Bill

has something to say to you, go ahead.

- So what you gotta say? Get it off your chest.

- Say it. - Can we sing a song?

- Ma. No, we can't. - Don't nobody know

"Jesus Loves Me"?

♪ Jesus...

- Ma, first of all, your runs--

- ALICE: ♪ Loves...me

♪ For the Bible tells... ♪

- JOHN: Ma. - [run continues]

- JOHN: Ma! - ♪ Me so...

Hallelujah. [laughs] Hallelujah.

- How you singing church songs with alcohol in your hand?

- Didn't Jesus turn water into wine?

- That's champagne, Ma. - ALICE: Same thing.

All you have to do is add some bubbles.

- Okay, I'm just...

- Bill, you got you ass wooped. - JOHN: Ma! Mama--

- ALICE: You make it real bad for dark skin.

How you gon' let light skin woop your ass?

- Ma. Come on.

- See? If this was back in the day, he'd be in the house

and you'd be in the field.

Nigga ain't ever had no sun.

Every dark skin person need to woop your ass.

- Can you get your mom, J? - Okay, okay. Ma, please.

- Hey, you can't get me.

You can't even get light skin.

- Ma. - My arm was in a sling.

- You kicked the sling off.

- Ma, he just got into a accident with a horse.

Come on. - Thank you. Thank you.

- ALICE: Fighting like you couldn't buck.

You can't even beat butta's ass.

- You know, I'm not going to her funeral.

- Okay. - You weren't invited, nigga.

- Let's just get-- - ALICE: All you gon' do

is tear it up like you did this woman's wedding.

- JOHN: Okay, Ma, he's sorry.

- And I need to say something really serious.

This right here? Some bullshit.

You coming in here in this girl's wedding,

tearing it up.

- Come on, Bill, man, let's go. Please.

- No, no, no, don't stop him from saying what he has to say.

You have something to say.

- We trying to get him outta here and you keep doing--

- Mind your business, John. - I--Okay.

- No, I ain't got nothing to say.

- Well, if you guys don't mind, I'm gonna get

all my guests back in here,

we're gonna set this shit back up,

put these chairs together, you gon' stop drinking,

and I'm gonna marry this amazing man.

- Cool.

- ALICE: I think she done fucked up.

- Sound like [unintelligible] - Yeah, come on, bro, let's go.

- Let's go, let's go. - Yeah, go. Bye.

[exhales]

I love this man.

- I love you, too. - Okay, then.

So let's do this, mess and all.

- Let's do it.

Y'all see why I love this woman?

[sighs]

- ♪

- JOHN: Hey, come on, you tried, you know?

- Did I? - Yeah, you did.

- Yeah. I don't think I did, man, I didn't try hard enough.

- What else could you have done, Bill?

- I don't--I don't know what I could...

I don't know what I could've done, man.

- Hey, you gave it a hell of an effort, man.

- MIKE: You did. - Seriously.

- Yeah, what, an E for effort? What the fuck, man?

- Come on, man, why are you, like--

bro, you did what you could do, it's nothing else you could do

but let go. - You know, I--I--Mike,

turn this car around, man. - No, Mike.

We're not doing that. - No, turn it around.

- No. - MIKE: I'm not turning around.

- No, come on, I didn't catch it the first time,

turn it around, come on. - What didn't you catch?

- Yo, she wanted me to say it.

- Bill. - Hmm?

- She--look, look, she wanted me to say that we had sex,

she was looking for an out.

- Uh, that's not what it looked like to me.

- No, I'm telling you, I know her.

- Okay. Bill, listen, you gotta let this go, man,

it's over, please. - JOHN: It is.

- Yo, no. Turn this car around

or I'm gonna get outta here right now.

- Okay, fine, but let me ask you something first.

So, she's not woman enough to tell the truth?

That's what you're saying?

- No, she--Look, she doesn't like hurting people's feelings,

so she...she would never tell him.

- That's who you wanna be with? - Hmm.

- Really? You're asking me that question?

Of all people, Mike. - I'm the only one

on your side right now.

- Well, if--if--if you are,

how about you turn this car around so I can go

say that to her face? - Okay. Alright.

- Mike, you're not turning the car around. Why not?!

- We're not turning the car-- - Because this is over, Bill.

It's done! - Bro, I have to--

- Come on, man, you did it.

- You don't have to, you just--

you have to let it go, man. - Yes.

- You already gave it a try. Bill, let it go.

- No, no, she wanted me to say something.

- Bill, stop it, okay? Please!

We gon' go and get a drink and we gonna decompose.

- Uh, de--decompress. - Decompress? Decompress.

You know what it is, you went to college.

- Yeah. - And you finished.

Unlike myself. Decompose, nigga.

- You're smart, bro, you really are.

- He's not, he's not. He's not.

- It don't matter, you know what I'm saying.

Okay? We're not going back and we're gon' de--what?

Compress? Compose? - Compress.

- TOM: Yeah. We're good.

- Hey, come on, bro, let up on the tears, dog.

- Really? Really? You're gonna make fun of me

right now in my time of need?

- JOHN: Come on, man, it's just...he lost this bit.

He lost it. - I'm just asking him

to let it go, bro, just let it go.

- Yo, man, it looked like you're trying to clown me

right now. - I'm not trying to clown you.

I'm--I'm the only one that's here for you for real.

- You know, okay, okay, how about this?

Let's make a deal.

I'll let it go if you let go of Pamela.

- Pamela's not getting married, bro.

- Are you sure about that? - Yes.

- So, so what you trying to say? Ain't no guy out there,

nobody out there trying to-- - Bill. Bill.

- No, no, little man need to know.

- What does little man need to know?

- All I'm saying is, yo, make sure she...she ain't out there.

Okay? Make sure you know your girl.

- Yo, am I missing something? - No, man. Not at all.

- MIKE: Are you telling me-- - Hey! Hey, man! What you--

Hey! Would you drive?! We gon' die out here!

What is wrong with you?! Hey! Hey!

Pay attention, man! - Come on, man!

- Only thing you're missing is the mic.

- Hey, man, y'all need to chill out, bro.

- Get the fuck out my car. - Hey! Hey!

We done had enough drama today!

Calm down, he's playing!

He's going through it! - He playing?!

- He's going through! - Keep playing, then.

- JOHN: You know he going through, man.

- So--so is Pam getting married?

- No! She is not! Of course she's not!

- Pay attention, please! - Drive!

- She's not getting married, man, you just saw her!

- He over here worried about a side chick. Soft ass.

- He going through. - Bro, you're doing this?

You're crying in the back of my car, nigga!

- Hey, just--Mike-- - Like, it's been enough drama

today, please! [groans] - It's the painkillers. [sighs]

- Still in pain? - Yeah, man. I wooped his ass.

Dog. Yo, I'm alright, alright? I'mma be alright, alright?

I'm sorry I made a damn fool of myself,

and if y'all will let me out, I'm sorry, okay?

- JOHN: Mike, you didn't make a fool of yourself.

- Don't lie to that, nigga. - Shut up.

- Really? - JOHN: Okay.

- He called me soft. - Listen, listen. Listen, guys,

let's let all this go. - JOHN: Yeah.

- You know, let's all go watch the game. How does that sound?

- That sound like a good idea. - Nah, nah, yo, I just--

I just wanna head home, come on. - MIKE: [sighs]

- Nah, Bill, not right now. - JOHN: You can't go home

by yourself. - Look, fellas, I--I--

I appreciate y'all--not the nigga driving,

but I appreciate y'all. - MIKE: You're in my car, nigga.

- I need to go home and decompress a little bit.

- No, listen, just decompress with the bruhs,

we're all here together, alright? We're here for you.

- Yo. - Man, we are, man.

That's a good idea. - Let me out the car.

- Get--get out the car, nigga. - Oh, for real? Okay.

- JOHN: Hey! Hey! - We're not doing this, Bill!

- [indistinct arguing]

- I got nothing to live for! - Bill, calm down!

- I got nothing to live for! - JOHN: We almost hit the--

- [indistinct arguing] - JOHN: Close the door, please,

man, hey, we almost at the shop, man, we could--

you gon' be good, come on, bro. - TOM: Shut the door.

- We headed to the shop? - JOHN: Yes.

- You--you want me to go to the shop

after what happened last night?

- Can you put your child locks on, please?

- [child locks click] - Thank you.

- Listen, I'm sorry, okay, we ain't gonna go

to the sandwich shop, you're right, my bad.

Child lock on? Okay, cool.

- Yo, stop with the child locks.

- Nigga, shut up. - I'll climb through the--

- JOHN: No! Hey! - I don't care.

- Bill, Bill. We're here for you, please.

- Listen, bro, yeah, we're gonna go somewhere,

we're gonna get drinks, bro, please, chill out.

- Take me home.

Please, somebody. - Okay, Bill.

Are you 100% sure you wanna go home?

- Nigga, that's a grown-ass man, let the nigga go home.

- Are you sure you wanna go home?

- Yes. I'm sure. - Okay.

Fine, Mike, take him home. - Take me home, man.

- MIKE: We on the way. - Bill, look at me.

Do you feel like you're gonna hurt yourself or others?

- I'mma hurt you. Alright? I'm good. Don't look at me like

you think I'm crazy, dude. - Okay.

- He's trying to do his job, okay?

He's a doctor, he's here to help and take care of people,

make sure they're safe-- - I just wanna get home

and cuddle up with my damn self, okay?

- ♪

- ♪ There ain't nothing better than a lady with a good head ♪

♪ On her shoulders, if she don't exist ♪

♪ Then I'll be good as dead

♪ Take my white T, man, it's bloody red ♪

♪ Wake up out a nightmare, no more back to bed, nah ♪

♪ I stay woke so they don't see me slipping ♪

♪ Got friends with my benefits and see... ♪

- Oh, Lord. My pretty little feet. Phew.

- Wooh! [chuckles] Ooh. I feel so much better.

- ALICE: Girl, hurry up and close that door.

- Ugh. I did. Jeez.

- You been in that bathroom, huh?

- Oh, yes. [groans] Had to go ahead and take that

waist trainer off. - You didn't need to.

- Look, it was holding me so tight, mm, I wanted to make

love to it, just... [moans] Just, ooh, oh, yeah,

nice and slow, just... [moaning]

Then we speed it up. [moaning]

Then you grab it and choke it. Choke it to it, uh.

Bounce to it. [panting]

- Girl. Girl, girl, girl. You know you're freaky?

- Yeah, but you know, I learned it from you.

- And you know you can't say everything

that come out of your mouth?

- But you do. - Yeah. I'm older.

I can do and say what I want.

- Well, I look forward to getting to that age

where I can as well.

- Why wait? You done already started.

My feet.

- I ain't rubbing your feet.

- Hey. So... - Hey.

- [giggles] Hey. Look at y'all.

Looking like snacks. [giggles] - [nervous chuckle]

- Okay, Laura. - Yeah.

- [giggles] You still thinking about me?

- I'm not. - Oh. [giggles]

He's so funny, he jokes. But ya...you know,

you--you--you will one day. Mm-hmm. You--you--you will.

- Leave that man alone. [scoffs]

- I mean, he know--I thought you knew, Ms. Alice, so...

- You know you better stop.

Yeah, don't be flirting with my man.

- Fine, you can have him, then.

Alright? I'mma just make love to my waist trainer now.

- Nobody wanna hear that. That's...ugh.

- LAURA: You gon' watch, too. - Ma, you need--we need--

We gotta let her go.

- [laughs] - So, Ms. Alice.

So I'm back in your good graces now.

- I love all my boys. Some more than others.

- Is she referring to me? - No need to wonder.

- Oh, that's--Thank you, Ms. Alice,

but these are good guys-- - That wasn't a compliment.

- Ms. Alice. - You're not the one

I like more. You're the one I like less.

- [chuckles] - ALICE: Hmm.

How y'all let that boy come in there and make a fool

of his self? - Ma, we tried to stop him.

- By bringing him in there in a car?

- JOHN: Ma. - How did that work?

- Ma, when he was coming in there--

- Stop right there.

As soon as you open your mouth I can see stupid

falling out of it.

- Look, Ma.

Whether we brought him or not, he was going to come.

There was nothing we could do about it.

- But that was genius. - JOHN: Genius.

- Well, here's the thing, I tried to drive super slowly.

- JOHN: Yes, he did.

- But Black people always gotta start something late.

So had she started on time,

he'd have missed the whole wedding.

- Yeah, you know, he Black and white,

so his white side was trying to--never mind.

- TOM: Punctual. - Yeah, but he still my man,

don't talk about him.

- JOHN: Okay. - Yeah.

- Well, he sure acted like a fool.

Does he love her that much? - Yes, Ma. He do.

- Damn. - JOHN: Yeah.

- TOM: What? - I wish I had a man

that loved me like that. - JOHN: Okay.

- You know, that cared for me.

Cherished and hold me.

- JOHN: Ma. - Okay.

- ♪ And make deep passionate love to me ♪

- Ma, what are you--ugh. Ma, please, okay.

- ♪ And blow my back out and swell my front up ♪

- Ma, you can't preach nasty stuff,

that don't go together, stop it.

- Oh, I'm sorry. - It's nasty, please, stop it.

- Okay, it's just been so long.

- Ma, it ain't been no long, you just had a man at the house

the other night. - He was tiny.

- JOHN: Okay. - You know I like 'em big.

- Ma. Stop. - I need some girth.

- Ma! Stop that! We don't wanna hear that, please!

- Yes, that's what I need. - JOHN: No, Ma, please.

Ma, come on. Please? It's--stop that.

- Yes, yes, just--please. - Yeah, that would be nice.

- JOHN: Please, thank you. - Oh, like you and Pam.

- Ms. Alice.

- I see you. - What are you talkin' bout?

- Hmmm, you all up under her. - MIKE: [whispering]

- You trying to make that play? Well, go ahead.

- You know what? It's-- it's been a day.

- ALICE: Hmm. - I'mma head home.

- So you can see what Pam is doing?

- Alright, bye, I'mma see y'all, I'mma see y'all. Thank you.

Bye, Ms. Alice. Bye, Ms. Alice. You have a good one.

- ALICE: Bye. - Bye, boy.

- Alright, I'm out too. - JOHN: You going?

Alright, boy, peace out. - Okay, well.

- Love. - I already miss you.

- Ma. - I'll see you later, John.

- Alright, bye, Tom. Ma. - ALICE: What?

- Please, stop that.

- Yes, sir, Mr. Mike. - Ma, they're gone, thank you.

- Yeah. - They gone, they gone, Ma.

We're here. You look really nice today.

- Oh, thank you. Yeah, you know, that was some crazy shit.

- Yeah, it was, it really was.

- Yeah, I mean...he did it.

- Yeah, he did. - And his plan worked.

- His plan didn't work, he messed up the weddin', yes,

and pissed Regina off, but it didn't work.

- Yeah, when they got to "I do," she said she couldn't.

- What?! - ALICE: Yeah.

- So you're telling me she didn't get married?

- Nope.

- You playin', Ma. They did get married?

- Nope, it worked.

- Dang.

- Does he know that? - No, he don't know that.

I didn't know it. - You better not tell him.

- Yeah, that's a good idea, I'm not gonna tell him.

Dang. - Yeah.

- So she didn't get married.

- No. - It really worked?

[sighs] Now the drama begins. - Yeah.

- Yeah, that's what you love, right?

- Yeah. - Alright. Let's get--

get home, Ma, get your purse.

- Why do you keep telling me what to do?

- Ma, I'm trying to help you. - You don't

tell me what the hell to do. - Ma.

- No, you get my damn purse.

- What the hell. Here you go, Ma.

- No, you hold the purse. - Ma, I'mma hold your purse.

- Mm-hmm. - All your little paraphernalia,

whatever they call it, the weed, and all that,

I'm flushing it down the toilet, okay?

- Give me my damn purse. - Oh, now you wanna hold it.

- Hell, yeah.

Don't you put your hand on my damn purse no more.

- Ma, you just told me to pick it up!

- Boy, hush. - Are you going--Okay.

- Come on, we need to go home so you can rub my damn feet.

- I don't wanna do that. - Bring your ass home.

- JOHN: [groans]

- ALICE: Lock the door! - JOHN: Ma! This my--Okay!

- ALICE: Okay, well, lock it. - JOHN: Ma.

- [door shuts]

- [whoosh]

- ♪