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I am not crazy!
I'm not crazy.
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Announcer:
Previously on "Bruh"...
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Valerie: Hey, asshole.
Nope. You're not going anywhere.
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So why'd you do that to me?
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What'd he do to you, sweetheart?
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He had sex with me.
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- But you wanted it, right?
- Yes.
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- You have anything to say, Tom?
- I do.
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I just recorded
this whole thing.
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Bitch be gone.
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Pamela: You think
just like Bill.
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You see the girl
with someone else,
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and you want to stake
your claim, "That's mine!"
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Tom: That night, you got drunk,
that girl.
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Bill: You knew she was
the dean's daughter.
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You got a bad habit of going
after shit
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you're not supposed to have.
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Mike: Ladies, how you doing?
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John: Mike, that's
the dean's daughter.
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Christie: Hi, Mike.
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Mike: Hi.
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Christie: John, Bill.
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Bill: Eh.
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Christie: Tom.
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Tom: Hi, Christie.
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Christie: You all look like
you've seen a ghost.
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Tom: Oh. Well, excuse us.
We're just not used
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to hanging around liars!
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Christie: What did I lie about?
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Tom: OK. You know what?
Can we get the check?
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Christie: Oh. Are you gonna pay
for my drink, too?
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Mike: You're joking, right?
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Christie: Well, you did
that night.
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Mike: Listen. Um, can I also
get my check, please?
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Christie: Come on.
Buy me a drink.
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Mike: Why? So you can tell
your father that
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we tried to get you drunk
and take advantage of you?
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Christie: Oh, my God.
We were kids.
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Mike: You're right.
That makes it OK.
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Christie: Wow. You guys really
need to let it go.
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Are--are you not gonna
speak, John?
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John: Yeah. I'm about
to drink, you know.
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Bill: J, chill, chill, chill.
John: Because I don't--
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Bill: Chill. I know.
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Christie: So it's like that?
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John: "So it's like"--yeah,
it's like that!
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Christie: Oh, God.
Bill: Let's go to the car.
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Christie: You guys are, like,
really over the top.
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John: "You guys are"--
are you serious?
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This girl crazy!
Like, she's mental.
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Bill: J, J.
John: She's delusional!
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Bill: Let's just go.
Tom: John, you're right.
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John: Hey, y'all better
get her then, get her.
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Bill: Let's go to the car.
John: Make her leave, bro.
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Mike: Where the hell's my check?
Yeah. Thank you.
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Christie: You guys are really
looking great.
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Bill: John, no. Chill.
John: Hey. Somebody--
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Bill: Let's just go
to the place.
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Let's just go to the place.
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Christie: Can't this just
be in the past?
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Bill: Naw. How about because
you almost ruined our lives?
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Christie: Oh, my God.
Are we that dramatic?
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Tom: You lied.
Christie: I was drunk.
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Tom: You knew he never did
anything to you.
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Christie: OK, OK, look.
You know, my dad was mad.
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I had to say something.
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I didn't know it was gonna
go this far.
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What's the big deal?
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Bill: Yo. The big deal is--
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John: Hey. Y'all better get
her, man.
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Bill: Relax.
John: Like, please.
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Make her go, man.
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Bill: Yo. The big deal is
that you got
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my boy kicked out of school.
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Christie: Oh. I'm sorry.
Bill: Yeah, OK.
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John: Pfft. Sorry.
Christie: OK, OK.
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Can I--can I buy
you guys a drink?
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Bill: Hell, no. You should be
handing out apologies,
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especially to this man.
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Christie: Wait. For what?
We were drunk college kids.
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Bill: Aw, shit.
John: Hey. Ain't nobody
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gonna get her?
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Bill: No, no, no.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
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John: I'll go to jail again!
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Tom: John, John, let's go.
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Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
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Christie: OK. So really?
Mike: Yeah.
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Don't need to give you another
chance to screw us over now.
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Christie: Oh, you guys really
don't know
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how to move past things.
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Mike: Watch me.
Christie: Oh, God.
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Singer: ♪ Navigating through
this dating life ♪
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♪ Trying to find me a shawty
and make her mine ♪
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♪ Now I'll find one in no time
with the help of my homies ♪
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♪ I'm going up with my bruhs ♪
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♪ Yeah, going up
and going up with my bruhs ♪
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♪ Going up and going up
with my bruhs ♪
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♪ Going up,
going up with my bruhs ♪
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♪ Ooh, going up and ♪
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♪ Going up with the bruhs ♪
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Bill: We'll drive you
home, man.
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[John sighs]
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Mike: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
One second.
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Tom: Where you going?
Mike, Mike.
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Don't embarrass yourself.
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Mike: Hey.
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I said hello. Hi.
What's up? Hi, Pam.
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Pamela: Hi, Tom.
Mike: How you doing?
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Pamela: Hi, Mike. Ahem.
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Mike: What's up?
Just came to say hi.
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Pamela: Don't engage.
Please don't engage. Just--
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Mike: Yo. Hey, buddy.
I'm Mike.
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Pamela: Hey, Mike.
Mike: What'd you say?
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David: David.
Mike: David?
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David: Yeah.
Mike: that's a nice name.
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I like that.
It's Biblical.
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Pamela: Mike, what
are you doing?
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Mike: Um, you guys known
each other long?
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Pamela: Don't engage.
Mike: Don't listen to her.
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David: I'm sorry.
Am I missing something?
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Pamela: No. You're not
missing anything.
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Mike: Hey, man. Hey, hey.
Hey, buddy.
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David: Wait. Can I help you?
Can I help you?
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Mike: I'm talking to you.
David: Can I help you?
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Mike: Have you guys known
each other long?
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I'm just trying to
get to know your friend.
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David: I'm trying to go
on my date here.
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Can you leave us be?
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Pamela: What are you doing?
Are you drunk?
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Mike: I'm not drunk.
Pamela: Is there a waiter? Um...
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Ha ha! I'm just trying to get
to know your friend. Hey.
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What's up?
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David: Nothing.
Just on a date, man.
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Mike: On a date. That's cute.
That's cute. Look nice.
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Nice. Went all out.
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Pamela: Sweetheart,
you should go home.
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Mike: What, Pam? Come on.
Pamela: Are you following me?
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Mike: Am I following you?
No. I'm not following you,
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but I'm starting to think that
you're doing this on purpose.
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Pamela: Would you care to share
what I'm doing on purpose?
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Having dinner? I'm doing
that on purpose definitely.
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Mike: Yeah. That's cute.
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No. You're coming to places
that you know that I'll be
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with Davids.
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Pamela: You look
really hurt, Mike.
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Hey, Tom. Why don't you
take your friend home?
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Mike: Cool.
Tom: This doesn't end well, bro.
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Pamela: Please.
Mike: get your hands off me.
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Get your hands off me.
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Pamela: I know,
and he's a lawyer. Ha ha ha!
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David: My man, why don't you
back away from the table?
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Mike: Why don't you shut
the fuck up?
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David: Wow!
Pamela: Tom, is there--
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Mike: You don't know me.
You don't know me.
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I will jump across
this table right now.
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David: You don't want me
to stand up.
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Mike: Don't fuck with me.
Don't fuck with me.
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David: Little man, little man.
Mike: Don't fu--
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Pamela: Ha ha ha! Ha ha!
I love it.
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OK. Listen. I'm having dinner,
yes, on purpose...
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Mike: Yeah.
Pamela: with him,
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and it's time for you to go.
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You're drunk.
Tom, get your boy.
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Tom: Pamela, I got it, OK?
Pamela: Do you?
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Mike: Stop.
Tom: Relax.
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You guys, enjoy your dinner.
Pamela: Thank you.
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00:06:00,379 --> 00:06:01,689
David: Why don't you leave
us alone?
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00:06:01,827 --> 00:06:03,310
Mike: Why don't you shut
the fuck up?
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00:06:03,448 --> 00:06:05,137
David: Wow.
Pamela: Please back up.
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00:06:05,275 --> 00:06:07,068
I love your fucking cardigan.
Knitted sweatshirts and shit.
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Pamela: I think he looks great.
Mike: Shut the fuck up.
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00:06:08,586 --> 00:06:10,379
You don't like dudes like this.
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Pamela: Yes, I do.
David: Bro, come on.
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Mike: This cheap-ass outfit,
this cheap-ass nigga...
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David: Hey. You need to get
away from my table right now.
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- You don't want me to stand up.
- with this cheap-ass shit.
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You don't fuck with that.
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00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,689
David: Bruh, you need
to back off the table.
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00:06:20,827 --> 00:06:22,448
Mike: You asked me for 100 K.
He don't have 100 K.
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00:06:22,586 --> 00:06:23,931
David: Err.
Mike: Sit down, bitch.
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00:06:24,068 --> 00:06:25,655
David: Nigga, you don't know
my bank account.
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Mike: Nigga--
Pamela: Go home! How about that?
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00:06:28,068 --> 00:06:31,482
David: Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
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00:06:31,620 --> 00:06:33,482
Tom: Pamela, that's not cool.
Let's go, let's go.
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00:06:33,620 --> 00:06:34,724
Mike: I got you.
Why don't you back up?
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00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:37,413
Pamela: Don't, don't, don't.
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00:06:37,551 --> 00:06:38,724
Mike: Look, Pam.
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00:06:38,862 --> 00:06:40,655
David: Wow. He's still going.
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00:06:43,448 --> 00:06:47,103
Mike: I love you.
I love you, OK?
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00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:50,827
Pamela: You're a joke.
I don't believe you at all.
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00:06:52,758 --> 00:06:54,517
Can--can we not--yeah.
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00:06:54,655 --> 00:06:55,827
David: Get away from the table.
Can we not do this?
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00:06:55,965 --> 00:06:57,172
Mike: Yo.
Don't fucking touch me.
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00:06:57,310 --> 00:06:58,793
Sit back, sit back, sit back.
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00:06:58,931 --> 00:07:00,068
David: Get your fingers out
of my goddamn face.
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00:07:00,206 --> 00:07:01,620
Mike: Fuck you!
197
00:07:01,758 --> 00:07:02,965
David: Get your fingers
out of my face.
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00:07:03,103 --> 00:07:04,931
Tom: Mike.
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00:07:05,068 --> 00:07:07,137
David: Wow. Right
back into it. OK.
200
00:07:07,275 --> 00:07:09,379
Mike: Pamela.
Pamela: Heh heh.
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00:07:09,517 --> 00:07:10,724
Mike: Look at me.
202
00:07:10,862 --> 00:07:12,482
David: You want to get
your boy?
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00:07:12,620 --> 00:07:14,172
Mike: Don't you see I'm
trying to talk, nigga?
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00:07:14,310 --> 00:07:15,517
Shut the fuck up!
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00:07:15,655 --> 00:07:17,517
Pamela: Hey. You need to
calm down.
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00:07:17,655 --> 00:07:19,034
You need to calm down.
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00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,758
Mike: Look. Look. I just
want to talk to you.
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00:07:20,896 --> 00:07:22,586
I just want to talk to you.
Please, please.
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00:07:22,724 --> 00:07:24,413
Pamela: And say what?
You're not saying anything.
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00:07:24,551 --> 00:07:25,896
Mike: I just want to say that--
Pamela: Your wasting our time.
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00:07:26,034 --> 00:07:28,379
Mike: I love you.
I swear to God.
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00:07:28,517 --> 00:07:32,000
I swear to God that I love you.
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00:07:32,137 --> 00:07:33,689
I said it. I said it.
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00:07:33,827 --> 00:07:35,620
David: OK.
Pamela: You said it. Good job.
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00:07:35,758 --> 00:07:38,448
David: You said it.
Pamela: You said it.
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00:07:38,586 --> 00:07:40,965
Tom, get your boy.
Tom: Pamela--
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00:07:41,103 --> 00:07:44,172
Pamela: Get him. Take him--
pick him up
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00:07:44,310 --> 00:07:45,931
and make him leave, please.
219
00:07:46,068 --> 00:07:47,965
Is there management around here?
Is there someone?
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00:07:48,103 --> 00:07:49,655
Mike: Pamela, Pamela.
Pamela: Can you--
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00:07:49,793 --> 00:07:51,000
Mike: Pamela, Pamela, you--
don't do shit!
222
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,655
Tom: You sit down.
You sit down.
223
00:07:52,793 --> 00:07:54,551
Mike: Sit the fuck down!
Sit the fuck down!
224
00:07:54,689 --> 00:07:55,931
David: You gonna fight me
in this restaurant?
225
00:07:56,068 --> 00:07:57,482
You gonna fight me in
this restaurant.
226
00:07:57,620 --> 00:07:58,689
Tom: That's OK.
No, no, no, no.
227
00:07:58,827 --> 00:08:00,241
Pamela: Are you kidding me?
228
00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:01,724
Mike: I'm done. I'm done.
I'm done.
229
00:08:01,862 --> 00:08:03,206
Tom: Don't throw it,
please, please.
230
00:08:03,344 --> 00:08:05,034
Mike: I'll see you lat--
Pam, I'll see you later.
231
00:08:05,172 --> 00:08:06,655
Tom: OK, guys. Sorry to have
ruined the evening.
232
00:08:06,793 --> 00:08:08,068
You guys enjoy the rest
of your meal.
233
00:08:08,206 --> 00:08:09,724
Pamela: Tom, take your
horny ass out--
234
00:08:09,862 --> 00:08:11,275
Tom: It's not bad.
It's a good outfit.
235
00:08:11,413 --> 00:08:12,896
David: Yeah. All right, man.
Tom: Take it easy.
236
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:15,655
David: Wow. Are you OK?
Are you OK?
237
00:08:15,793 --> 00:08:17,206
Pamela: I'm OK.
David: Yeah?
238
00:08:17,344 --> 00:08:18,517
Pamela: Yeah. Sit down.
239
00:08:18,655 --> 00:08:20,896
Do you want to--
we can go.
240
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:22,586
David: I mean,
we're already here.
241
00:08:22,724 --> 00:08:24,586
We're already here,
me and you. He's gone.
242
00:08:24,724 --> 00:08:25,896
Pamela: Oh, my God.
This is embarrassing.
243
00:08:26,034 --> 00:08:27,724
David: Are you OK?
We can leave.
244
00:08:27,862 --> 00:08:29,137
Pamela: Yeah.
David: You want to leave?
245
00:08:29,275 --> 00:08:30,241
Pamela: No, no.
246
00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:33,551
Singer: ♪ Hey ♪
247
00:08:33,689 --> 00:08:34,931
♪ Hey ♪
248
00:08:35,068 --> 00:08:36,689
♪ I got a ménage on my mind ♪
249
00:08:36,827 --> 00:08:38,551
♪ It's me, you,
and your friend ♪
250
00:08:38,689 --> 00:08:40,068
♪ I don't want to end up
out of breath ♪
251
00:08:40,206 --> 00:08:42,275
♪ So I'm gonna let you two
begin ♪
252
00:08:42,413 --> 00:08:45,034
Bill: You good, man?
253
00:08:45,172 --> 00:08:46,724
John: Yeah, I'm good.
254
00:08:46,862 --> 00:08:50,206
Bill: Heh. Yo.
That was crazy, right?
255
00:08:50,344 --> 00:08:51,793
John: What?
256
00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:54,206
Bill: Man, that chick
showing up like that.
257
00:08:54,344 --> 00:08:56,586
John: Yeah. It's whatever.
258
00:08:56,724 --> 00:08:58,793
Bill: No, man. Like, how can
you be so calm
259
00:08:58,931 --> 00:09:00,655
about this shit right now?
260
00:09:00,793 --> 00:09:03,137
John: Bill, how you want
me to be, man, huh?
261
00:09:03,275 --> 00:09:04,689
Bill: I don't know.
262
00:09:04,827 --> 00:09:07,034
Start a fake page and body shame
her or something?
263
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,827
John: What? Bro, I'm just
glad I didn't go to jail,
264
00:09:09,965 --> 00:09:11,206
you know what I'm saying?
265
00:09:11,344 --> 00:09:12,551
Could have been much worse.
266
00:09:12,689 --> 00:09:14,000
- Yo, man.
- It's whatever, bro.
267
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:15,827
- That's true.
- You know what I mean?
268
00:09:15,965 --> 00:09:17,172
It's the past is the past,
so I'll just move on.
269
00:09:17,310 --> 00:09:18,517
That's how you should do it.
270
00:09:18,655 --> 00:09:20,000
All right. Yo.
I'm with you, man.
271
00:09:20,137 --> 00:09:21,620
- Thank you.
- Yo, but for real, though,
272
00:09:21,758 --> 00:09:23,275
I'm sorry about everything, man.
273
00:09:23,413 --> 00:09:24,931
Bill, stop apologizing, bro.
274
00:09:25,068 --> 00:09:26,758
Like, y'all keep--like,
y'all ain't got to keep
275
00:09:26,896 --> 00:09:28,068
feeling sorry for me, man.
276
00:09:28,206 --> 00:09:29,896
I'm good.
Come on with that, bro.
277
00:09:30,034 --> 00:09:31,241
- OK.
- Thank you, though.
278
00:09:31,379 --> 00:09:32,724
OK. OK. I got you.
279
00:09:32,862 --> 00:09:35,137
Well, since you good,
how about you give
280
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:36,620
that girl a call?
281
00:09:36,758 --> 00:09:38,241
John: What girl?
282
00:09:38,379 --> 00:09:40,931
Man, the one you told us about,
the one you like.
283
00:09:41,068 --> 00:09:43,206
Who? Who you talk--are
you talking
284
00:09:43,344 --> 00:09:44,586
about the girl I met tonight?
285
00:09:44,724 --> 00:09:45,965
- Yes.
- Boy, I'm not calling her.
286
00:09:46,103 --> 00:09:47,862
Yeah. Give her a call.
Come on, man.
287
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,379
John: No, Bill.
I'm not calling.
288
00:09:49,517 --> 00:09:50,931
I'ma look thirsty, bro.
289
00:09:51,068 --> 00:09:52,931
I'm not gonna call her
the same night I met her.
290
00:09:53,068 --> 00:09:54,655
Bill: Yo. First of all, you
been parched for forever, OK?
291
00:09:54,793 --> 00:09:56,379
- Let's keep it real.
- I am parched, but...
292
00:09:56,517 --> 00:09:58,172
- OK? So forget all of that.
- She gonna know I'm parched
293
00:09:58,310 --> 00:09:59,689
I call her tonight.
294
00:09:59,827 --> 00:10:01,482
Bill: Hey. Stop playing games.
Give her a call.
295
00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:03,172
John: You think
I should call her?
296
00:10:03,310 --> 00:10:05,827
Bill: Come on. It's me.
Don't I know how to do this?
297
00:10:05,965 --> 00:10:07,965
- Give her a call.
- Don't you know how to do this?
298
00:10:08,103 --> 00:10:09,620
What? What you talking about?
299
00:10:09,758 --> 00:10:11,965
John: Nigga, you let
Regina get away.
300
00:10:12,103 --> 00:10:15,172
- Not for long, man.
- Bill, come on.
301
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:16,793
- What?
- Bro.
302
00:10:16,931 --> 00:10:18,379
If you chase her down, bro,
you gonna
303
00:10:18,517 --> 00:10:19,793
have to commit to her,
304
00:10:19,931 --> 00:10:21,137
and you know you're not ready
for that.
305
00:10:21,275 --> 00:10:22,724
- Yo. I'm ready.
- You ready for that?
306
00:10:22,862 --> 00:10:24,896
Yeah, I'm ready,
I'm ready to commit.
307
00:10:25,034 --> 00:10:27,862
John: Heh. Damn.
You ready to commit. No.
308
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,724
Bill: No. Why? Why? Why "damn"?
309
00:10:29,862 --> 00:10:31,275
John: Bro, you know you're not.
310
00:10:31,413 --> 00:10:32,965
You're not gonna do it.
311
00:10:33,103 --> 00:10:37,034
Bill: Yo. I'm ready, OK?
I'ma do it.
312
00:10:37,172 --> 00:10:39,586
John: OK. Well, go ahead, man.
You got my full support
313
00:10:39,724 --> 00:10:40,862
if you're gonna do it for real.
314
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,482
- Thank you. I am.
- OK.
315
00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:44,068
- I really am.
- All right.
316
00:10:44,206 --> 00:10:46,206
I'm hungry. Can we go get
something to eat, please?
317
00:10:46,344 --> 00:10:47,758
You know, I'm hungry, too.
318
00:10:47,896 --> 00:10:49,448
Yo. You know what
I could go for right now?
319
00:10:49,586 --> 00:10:50,931
What?
320
00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:52,448
Some of your mama's delight.
321
00:10:52,586 --> 00:10:54,000
Hoo. Mmm.
322
00:10:54,137 --> 00:10:55,827
John: You know that don't
sound right, right?
323
00:10:55,965 --> 00:10:57,827
Bill: Ha ha ha! Yeah, yeah.
324
00:10:57,965 --> 00:10:59,482
John: I told her not to
name it that.
325
00:10:59,620 --> 00:11:01,000
Bill: Yo, yo, but it's
so good, though.
326
00:11:01,137 --> 00:11:02,724
John: It is good.
It tastes good.
327
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:04,137
Bill: It's, like, it's juicy,
and it's...
328
00:11:04,275 --> 00:11:05,655
- Hey!
- It's a little sloppy, but...
329
00:11:05,793 --> 00:11:07,172
- Can you not do that?
- What?
330
00:11:07,310 --> 00:11:09,137
That's my mama, bro.
Stop playing with me.
331
00:11:09,275 --> 00:11:10,448
Bill: OK, OK, OK.
332
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:11,931
John: That's not funny.
333
00:11:12,068 --> 00:11:13,758
Bill: Yo. Can we go
get one at least?
334
00:11:13,896 --> 00:11:16,620
- We can go get a sandwich.
- All right.
335
00:11:16,758 --> 00:11:17,896
[Mumbling]
It is juicy, though, man.
336
00:11:18,034 --> 00:11:19,827
- What?
- I'm just saying--
337
00:11:19,965 --> 00:11:22,068
- Don't play with me, Bill.
- Very flavorful.
338
00:11:22,206 --> 00:11:23,931
I got to deal with it
from my mama, man.
339
00:11:24,068 --> 00:11:25,551
Don't be playing. Don't play.
That's my mama, man.
340
00:11:25,689 --> 00:11:27,310
- All right. We good.
- All right, bro.
341
00:11:27,448 --> 00:11:29,827
Singer: ♪ Ha, hey, girl,
I heard you kiss and tell ♪
342
00:11:29,965 --> 00:11:31,724
♪ But I heard that
you be kissing well ♪
343
00:11:31,862 --> 00:11:33,689
♪ Got a lot on your mind
to dish and sell ♪
344
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:35,689
♪ Your story, my story,
it fit so well ♪
345
00:11:35,827 --> 00:11:37,034
♪ On the front page ♪
346
00:11:37,172 --> 00:11:39,241
Alice: Now that's the way
you do it.
347
00:11:39,379 --> 00:11:41,000
Regina: Ms. Alice,
thank you so much.
348
00:11:41,137 --> 00:11:42,275
For what?
349
00:11:42,413 --> 00:11:43,724
Regina: Opening the shop for me.
350
00:11:43,862 --> 00:11:47,137
Alice: Oh. All you got to
do is ask.
351
00:11:47,275 --> 00:11:48,517
Regina: And pay you.
352
00:11:48,655 --> 00:11:51,482
Alice: Yeah, that, too.
Ha ha ha!
353
00:11:51,620 --> 00:11:54,448
Regina: Really. You know,
them sandwiches is of the hook.
354
00:11:54,586 --> 00:11:55,862
Alice: Thank you.
Regina: Mm-hmm.
355
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,448
Alice: So you really
gonna do it?
356
00:11:57,586 --> 00:11:59,310
Regina: I am.
357
00:11:59,448 --> 00:12:01,551
Alice: OK.
358
00:12:01,689 --> 00:12:03,172
Regina: Why you say it
like that?
359
00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:07,206
Alice: Well, I'm just happy
you followed your heart.
360
00:12:07,344 --> 00:12:10,241
Regina: Yeah, me, too.
Alice: Yeah, me, too.
361
00:12:10,379 --> 00:12:13,275
Regina: Wait. Did you meet
my friend Pamela?
362
00:12:13,413 --> 00:12:15,103
Alice: Hmm.
Regina: Girl, she's going
363
00:12:15,241 --> 00:12:16,931
through the same exact thing
with Mike right now.
364
00:12:17,068 --> 00:12:18,586
Alice: What you mean?
365
00:12:18,724 --> 00:12:19,862
Regina: He treated her
like crap,
366
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,241
and now he's all over her.
367
00:12:21,379 --> 00:12:22,689
- Mike?
- Mike.
368
00:12:22,827 --> 00:12:24,344
Talking about he loves her.
369
00:12:24,482 --> 00:12:27,310
Alice: Look. Men don't grow up
as fast as women do.
370
00:12:27,448 --> 00:12:29,896
You got to let them find
their own way.
371
00:12:30,034 --> 00:12:32,724
They're like dogs in the snow,
372
00:12:32,862 --> 00:12:35,448
you know, sand on the beach,
373
00:12:35,586 --> 00:12:37,172
a walrus on the--
374
00:12:37,310 --> 00:12:39,965
Regina: OK. Ms. Alice,
have you been smoking?
375
00:12:40,103 --> 00:12:43,448
Alice: All night long!
Turn it up!
376
00:12:43,586 --> 00:12:45,000
Come on, come on!
377
00:12:45,137 --> 00:12:46,620
John: What is going on? Ma!
378
00:12:46,758 --> 00:12:48,689
- What?
- This ain't sanitary, Ma!
379
00:12:48,827 --> 00:12:51,758
Alice: Uh-huh.
Neither is this.
380
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,413
John: I'm gonna be sick, bro.
381
00:12:53,551 --> 00:12:54,724
- Ma!
- What?!
382
00:12:54,862 --> 00:12:56,137
Why you doing that here?
383
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:57,448
Alice: Well, you know,
Regina told me
384
00:12:57,586 --> 00:12:58,931
to open the shop.
385
00:12:59,068 --> 00:13:02,000
John: Oh. Hey, Regina.
Regina: Hey.
386
00:13:02,137 --> 00:13:05,655
Yeah. Just some food after
the bachelorette party. Heh heh.
387
00:13:05,793 --> 00:13:07,586
John: OK.
Regina: Yeah.
388
00:13:07,724 --> 00:13:09,103
John: All right.
389
00:13:09,241 --> 00:13:11,000
Regina: Your mama--
your mama's a saint.
390
00:13:11,137 --> 00:13:13,689
Bill: Uh, more like a freak,
but it's all good.
391
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:15,448
Hey. Hey. What's up, Regina?
392
00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:16,827
[John sighs]
393
00:13:16,965 --> 00:13:18,931
Regina: Oh.
Bill: What?
394
00:13:19,068 --> 00:13:21,793
Regina: I mean, I was hoping
I wouldn't run into you.
395
00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:24,344
Bill: Well, I'm glad
I ran into you.
396
00:13:24,482 --> 00:13:26,517
Regina: Boy, stop.
397
00:13:26,655 --> 00:13:29,827
Bill: So. Um, what you doing?
398
00:13:29,965 --> 00:13:31,344
Regina: Bachelorette party.
399
00:13:31,482 --> 00:13:33,241
Bill: Yeah. I see that.
Regina: Yeah.
400
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:35,241
Bill: So you really going
through with this?
401
00:13:35,379 --> 00:13:38,689
Regina: Girls, is he serious
right now?
402
00:13:38,827 --> 00:13:40,517
Bill: Yes, I am.
403
00:13:40,655 --> 00:13:44,551
Regina: And yes, I am.
I am going through with it.
404
00:13:44,689 --> 00:13:46,655
Bill: You drunk right now?
405
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:50,068
Regina: Are you drunk?
Bill: No.
406
00:13:50,206 --> 00:13:52,724
Regina: I don't even know
why you asking me that anyway?
407
00:13:52,862 --> 00:13:55,413
Bill: Yeah. You right.
408
00:13:55,551 --> 00:13:57,379
I'm getting married.
409
00:13:57,517 --> 00:14:00,551
Well, you don't look
too happy about that.
410
00:14:00,689 --> 00:14:01,931
- Whatever.
- Come on.
411
00:14:02,068 --> 00:14:03,172
Let's go talk.
412
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:05,068
Regina: No. I'm not talking.
413
00:14:05,206 --> 00:14:07,379
I am about to go dance
with that stallion over there.
414
00:14:07,517 --> 00:14:08,965
Bill: Yo, Regina.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
415
00:14:09,103 --> 00:14:10,931
Regina: Uh, I'm not waiting, OK?
416
00:14:11,068 --> 00:14:12,103
Bill: Come on.
417
00:14:12,241 --> 00:14:14,482
Regina: You're an asshole.
418
00:14:18,137 --> 00:14:19,482
Alice: Leave her alone.
419
00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:21,172
Bill: Yeah. I just want
to talk to her.
420
00:14:21,310 --> 00:14:23,000
Alice: You had your chance, boy.
Bill: I know.
421
00:14:23,137 --> 00:14:24,724
Alice: And what y'all did
to my son.
422
00:14:24,862 --> 00:14:26,482
Bill: Ms. Alice.
423
00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:28,586
Alice: Leave her alone,
or I'll make you a sandwich.
424
00:14:28,724 --> 00:14:31,758
Bill: Well, I mean, that's
what I came here for.
425
00:14:31,896 --> 00:14:33,275
Alice: With your own nuts?
426
00:14:33,413 --> 00:14:34,965
Bill: Ms. Alice, come on,
stop that.
427
00:14:35,103 --> 00:14:36,275
John: Come on.
428
00:14:36,413 --> 00:14:37,965
Alice: Want some
hot sauce in it?
429
00:14:38,103 --> 00:14:39,275
John: Come on, man.
I'll get you a sandwich.
430
00:14:39,413 --> 00:14:40,517
Come on.
431
00:14:40,655 --> 00:14:41,827
Bill: Yo. You making it, right?
432
00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:43,379
John: I got you.
Come on. Let's go.
433
00:14:45,448 --> 00:14:47,206
Come on.
I'll make you a sandwich.
434
00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:50,827
All right.
435
00:14:50,965 --> 00:14:52,965
Bill: I want everything.
I want everything on it.
436
00:14:53,103 --> 00:14:54,655
John: You want everything?
Bill: Everything.
437
00:14:54,793 --> 00:14:57,586
John: I got you.
438
00:14:57,724 --> 00:14:59,000
What you gonna do, man?
439
00:14:59,137 --> 00:15:00,620
Bill: I got to stop this.
440
00:15:00,758 --> 00:15:02,206
Alice: It's too late for that.
441
00:15:02,344 --> 00:15:03,965
Bill: It's never too late.
442
00:15:04,103 --> 00:15:05,586
Alice: She getting married
tomorrow.
443
00:15:05,724 --> 00:15:06,965
Bill: Wait. What?
444
00:15:07,103 --> 00:15:08,379
Alice: They moved
the wedding up.
445
00:15:08,517 --> 00:15:10,000
Bill: W-w-what are you
talking about?
446
00:15:10,137 --> 00:15:11,689
Alice: What?
You hard of hearing
447
00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:13,310
or you hard up?
448
00:15:13,448 --> 00:15:14,655
Bill: Damn!
449
00:15:14,793 --> 00:15:16,413
Alice: Speaking of hard up,
let me go...
450
00:15:16,551 --> 00:15:17,482
tip the stripper.
451
00:15:17,620 --> 00:15:18,758
John: Ugh.
452
00:15:18,896 --> 00:15:20,034
Bill: Look, man.
Look at her.
453
00:15:20,172 --> 00:15:21,517
John: I'm not looking at that.
454
00:15:21,655 --> 00:15:23,172
Bill: No, no. Look at her.
Uh-oh. Uh-uh.
455
00:15:23,310 --> 00:15:25,068
John: Mama, get
off your knees, man!
456
00:15:25,206 --> 00:15:26,655
Bill: Yo. Your mama got
a good gag reflex.
457
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:28,172
John: Shut up, man!
458
00:15:28,310 --> 00:15:30,448
Ma, no! That's not--
Mom, that's not a guy.
459
00:15:30,586 --> 00:15:31,896
Get up, Ma! You--
460
00:15:32,034 --> 00:15:34,034
[Whimpering]
461
00:15:34,172 --> 00:15:35,551
Bill: You know, I got--
462
00:15:35,689 --> 00:15:37,241
John: Man, get your
fucking sandwich, man.
463
00:15:45,724 --> 00:15:47,379
Tom: Damn.
464
00:15:52,344 --> 00:15:53,896
Hey.
465
00:15:54,034 --> 00:15:57,551
Tom: What the hell?
466
00:15:57,689 --> 00:16:00,448
Valerie: I wanted to...
talk to you.
467
00:16:00,586 --> 00:16:04,000
Tom: How the hell did
you even get in here?
468
00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:05,517
Valerie: I wanted to see you.
469
00:16:05,655 --> 00:16:07,241
Tom: Well, you're not
seeing me right now, OK?
470
00:16:07,379 --> 00:16:09,241
Get the hell out of here.
471
00:16:09,379 --> 00:16:12,034
Valerie: I'm so sorry, Tom.
472
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:14,172
Tom: You tried
to get me fired!
473
00:16:14,310 --> 00:16:17,000
Valerie: I know,
but let me--
474
00:16:17,137 --> 00:16:20,310
let me make it up to you.
475
00:16:20,448 --> 00:16:21,758
Please.
476
00:16:21,896 --> 00:16:25,379
Tom: Are you completely insane?
477
00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:27,344
Valerie, you need to get
out of here!
478
00:16:27,482 --> 00:16:29,310
Valerie: Please.
You were so good with me.
479
00:16:29,448 --> 00:16:33,344
Please just--you can take me
any way you want me, Tommy.
480
00:16:33,482 --> 00:16:37,379
Tom: What exactly is
wrong with you?
481
00:16:37,517 --> 00:16:41,241
Valerie: I'm in love
with you.
482
00:16:41,379 --> 00:16:43,689
Tom: I don't love you.
483
00:16:43,827 --> 00:16:45,551
I don't want to be with you.
484
00:16:45,689 --> 00:16:46,965
I'm not interested in you.
485
00:16:47,103 --> 00:16:48,793
The only thing that
I want from you
486
00:16:48,931 --> 00:16:51,827
is for you to leave me alone.
487
00:16:51,965 --> 00:16:54,586
That's it.
488
00:16:54,724 --> 00:16:57,896
Valerie: Sure.
489
00:16:58,034 --> 00:17:00,862
Tom: I'm sorry.
490
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,965
Valerie: OK.
491
00:17:03,103 --> 00:17:04,689
It's OK.
492
00:17:04,827 --> 00:17:06,379
[Tom sighs]
493
00:17:06,517 --> 00:17:10,206
Valerie...
494
00:17:10,344 --> 00:17:12,241
Valerie: How do I keep
getting myself
495
00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:15,965
into these situations?
496
00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:18,551
Tom: What situations?
497
00:17:18,689 --> 00:17:22,551
Valerie: This.
498
00:17:22,689 --> 00:17:27,241
You're not the first guy.
499
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:29,413
What's wrong with me?
500
00:17:29,551 --> 00:17:34,896
Valerie, you're
a beautiful woman, OK?
501
00:17:35,034 --> 00:17:37,896
- You think?
- You see?
502
00:17:38,034 --> 00:17:39,482
I can't even give
you a compliment
503
00:17:39,620 --> 00:17:41,724
without you thinking
I want to sleep with you.
504
00:17:41,862 --> 00:17:44,655
Valerie: Do you?
505
00:17:44,793 --> 00:17:46,586
Tom: Valerie.
506
00:17:49,275 --> 00:17:53,862
Valerie: It's OK. Heh.
It's--honest, it's fine.
507
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:59,000
Tom: Valerie, go home, please.
508
00:17:59,137 --> 00:18:01,068
Valerie: Sure.
509
00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:03,758
Tom: I'm sorry.
510
00:18:03,896 --> 00:18:06,586
I am.
511
00:18:06,724 --> 00:18:08,379
Valerie: So am I.
512
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,137
John: Hey. I'm charging you
for that sandwich, man.
513
00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:31,034
Bill: You know, I got to get
up out of here.
514
00:18:31,172 --> 00:18:32,655
John: Yeah. I think
that's a good idea, man,
515
00:18:32,793 --> 00:18:34,137
because you keep staring.
516
00:18:34,275 --> 00:18:35,655
Bill: I'm gonna go
to the bathroom, man.
517
00:18:35,793 --> 00:18:39,000
John: All right.
Alice: Where you going?
518
00:18:39,137 --> 00:18:40,344
Bill: I'm going
to the bathroom.
519
00:18:40,482 --> 00:18:41,689
Alice: You can't handle
my juice?
520
00:18:41,827 --> 00:18:43,448
Bill: Ms. Alice, I don't
want your juice.
521
00:18:43,586 --> 00:18:44,758
Nobody does.
522
00:18:44,896 --> 00:18:46,689
Alice: Nigga, my juice
is from Egypt.
523
00:18:46,827 --> 00:18:48,517
Bill: Yeah, because
it's ancient.
524
00:18:48,655 --> 00:18:51,172
John: Ha ha ha!
Alice: Your mama.
525
00:18:51,310 --> 00:18:52,655
Bill: Yo. What you want?
526
00:18:52,793 --> 00:18:53,965
Alice: What do you mean
what do I want?
527
00:18:54,103 --> 00:18:55,275
This is my damn place.
528
00:18:55,413 --> 00:18:57,310
John: And mine.
Bill: OK, OK.
529
00:18:57,448 --> 00:18:59,103
Alice: Get rid
of the damn attitude, son.
530
00:18:59,241 --> 00:19:01,172
I'm trying to talk to you.
531
00:19:01,310 --> 00:19:03,206
Bill: OK. All right.
Yeah. Sorry, sorry.
532
00:19:03,344 --> 00:19:04,931
Alice: She getting married.
533
00:19:05,068 --> 00:19:06,655
Bill: Yeah, I know that.
534
00:19:06,793 --> 00:19:08,172
Alice: I mean, tomorrow.
535
00:19:08,310 --> 00:19:10,241
Bill: Yeah. You said that.
I understand.
536
00:19:10,379 --> 00:19:12,413
Alice: You know why they
moved their wedding up?
537
00:19:12,551 --> 00:19:14,172
Bill: Please share with me.
538
00:19:14,310 --> 00:19:15,758
Alice: Because
of your black ass.
539
00:19:15,896 --> 00:19:17,034
John: Ma.
Bill: Hmm?
540
00:19:17,172 --> 00:19:19,379
John: Ma, come on.
541
00:19:19,517 --> 00:19:21,241
Alice: You are not
in this conversation.
542
00:19:21,379 --> 00:19:22,827
Bill: Why you telling me this?
You want me to go
543
00:19:22,965 --> 00:19:24,137
after her or something?
544
00:19:24,275 --> 00:19:25,344
Alice: I ain't saying nothing,
545
00:19:25,482 --> 00:19:29,275
you know, but yeah, but no.
546
00:19:29,413 --> 00:19:32,379
Bill: Dog, tell your mama
she need to stop smoking.
547
00:19:32,517 --> 00:19:33,862
John: I been telling her that.
548
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,724
Alice: No. It helps me.
549
00:19:35,862 --> 00:19:37,344
Bill: OK. Ms. Alice,
I'm sorry.
550
00:19:37,482 --> 00:19:40,137
I can't with you today, OK?
551
00:19:40,275 --> 00:19:41,931
She really getting married?
552
00:19:42,068 --> 00:19:43,689
Alice: Yeah, man.
553
00:19:43,827 --> 00:19:46,827
Bill: OK. Yo. There's
nothing I can--
554
00:19:46,965 --> 00:19:49,379
Alice: Let it go.
555
00:19:53,413 --> 00:19:54,827
He real sad.
556
00:19:54,965 --> 00:19:56,413
Bill: Ma, you just don't have
no empathy
557
00:19:56,551 --> 00:19:58,586
or sympathy for nobody.
558
00:19:58,724 --> 00:20:00,103
Alice: Nope.
559
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:03,517
Oh, come on, 74! Oww!
560
00:20:03,655 --> 00:20:04,827
John: Oh, my God.
561
00:20:04,965 --> 00:20:06,275
Alice: Ha ha ha! Yeah!
562
00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:07,620
John: Hey. That's my mama.
563
00:20:07,758 --> 00:20:09,034
Hey. Get your hand
off her ass, man.
564
00:20:09,172 --> 00:20:10,551
Alice: Oh, come on.
Ahh!
565
00:20:10,689 --> 00:20:12,827
John: Ma, Ma.
566
00:20:12,965 --> 00:20:15,448
Ma, this is child abuse, OK?
567
00:20:25,551 --> 00:20:27,448
Regina, what you doing?
568
00:20:27,586 --> 00:20:29,000
Shut up.
569
00:20:29,137 --> 00:20:31,620
Singer: ♪ Everything is
changing, changing ♪
570
00:20:31,758 --> 00:20:35,034
♪ You're so damn beautiful ♪
571
00:20:35,172 --> 00:20:38,241
♪ I know places, places ♪
572
00:20:38,379 --> 00:20:41,448
♪ We'll make up our own rules ♪
573
00:20:41,586 --> 00:20:44,827
♪ Don't have all the answers,
answers ♪
574
00:20:44,965 --> 00:20:47,862
♪ But I know I love you ♪
575
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,275
♪ We're running
with scissors, scissors ♪
576
00:20:51,413 --> 00:20:54,689
♪ Cutting up the rearview,
rearview ♪
577
00:20:54,827 --> 00:20:56,448
♪ Cutting up the ♪
578
00:20:56,586 --> 00:21:01,413
♪ Cutting up the, cutting
up the rearview, rearview ♪
579
00:21:01,551 --> 00:21:03,172
♪ Nothing and no one can
stop me ♪
580
00:21:03,310 --> 00:21:06,275
♪ From loving you, loving you ♪
42888
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