Original subtitles

John: I bought the place. I'm in business now.

Narrator: Previously on "Bruh"...

Tom: I know you got that money from Leon.

John: It's done already, all right?

Bill: Bruh, you sleep with women for sport.

One day, a woman's gonna come along

and she's gonna make you fall for her.

Tom: Take this money now. I'ma talk to the bruhs.

John: Do you think I asked y'all for that money

because I felt like y'all owed me something?

Mike: I'm just trying to figure out why men never commit.

Bill: You never thought about it?

Mike: No. John: I understand you feel bad,

but what's done is done.

Bill: All the women you been with?

Not one of them. Mike: No.

'Cause there she is with that dude in the booth over there.

[Chuckles]

Mike: Do you see who that is?

Do you see who that is?

Bill: Oh.

Oh, yeah. Uh-hmm.

Nope.

Mike: Yo, old boy playing for the...

Bill: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he just signed a contract for 39 mil.

Mike: Thank you for that useless information right now.

Bill: Yeah. Hey, I'm just saying.

Thought you'd wanna know, bruh.

Mike: I'm gonna go talk to her.

Bill: No. No, no, no, no.

Bruh. [Laughs]

What, man?

Mike: She really with this dude.

Bill: Yeah. It look like it.

Hmm. Yo, why does it matter?

Huh? You don't care, remember?

Mike: Bill, shut the fuck up. [Bill chuckles]

Oh, look like somebody getting mad.

Mike: I'm not getting mad. You're just pissing me off.

Bill: Uh-hmm. Oh, you're not?

Then why you holding that glass like that?

Mike: I'm not holding my glass like nothing.

[Bill laughs] Mike: It's my drink.

Bill: Uh-huh. Yeah.

Sip her up--damn. [Inhales sharply]

[Laughs]

Oh, this is--this is--this isn't good.

What you doing?

Mike: I'ma go talk to her.

Bill: Yo, no, no, no. Old boy is huge, man, relax.

Mike: No. If she fucking with dudes like that,

I can't be fucking with her.

Bill: Dudes like what?

Mike: Ball players, bro.

They be running up and through these girls, man.

[Bill chuckles] Okay.

And you never have?

Mike: What?

Bill: Bruh, your roster

reads like a whodunit.

Mike: And?

Bill: Oh, you know what?

Yeah. I--I can't with you.

Mike: What?

It's different.

Bill: How the hell is that different?

Mike: I'm a dude. It's different for dudes.

[Bill laughs]

I can't with you. No mas.

Mike: What? Bill: No more.

[Sighs]

Mike: You know, I'ma go talk to her.

Bill: No, no. Hey, don't go over there

and get your feelings hurt, bruh.

Mike: That would be you, soft ass.

Bill: Okay. Watch. When he beats your ass,

I'ma be right here.

Mike: Bro, when have you ever helped me?

You ain't moved when we were in that fight

with the three dudes in the dorm.

Bill: Yo, first of all, that was a long time ago,

that was before I was hitting the weights,

and I was probably sick and yo,

you slept with, like, two of they sisters.

Mike: Had a fat ass.

Bill: Yeah, they had a fat ass, yeah.

And they beat your ass.

Mike: I didn't get my ass beat.

I'm going... Bill: Yeah, yeah. Okay, Okay.

Hey, don't do it.

Mike: Yeah, I'm going.

Singer: ♪ Navigating through this dating life ♪

♪ Trying to find me a shawty and make her mine ♪

♪ Now I'll find one in no time with the help of my homies ♪

♪ I'm going up with my bruhs ♪

♪ Yeah, going up, going up with my bruhs ♪

♪ Going up, going up with my bruhs ♪

♪ Going up, going up with my bruhs ♪

♪ Ooh, going up ♪

♪ Going up with the bruhs ♪

Bill: Damn. He really going over there?

Mike: Pam.

Pamela: Hi.

Mike: What's up? What you doing here?

Pamela: Just grabbing some food with a friend.

Mike: Okay. All right.

Pamela: Is something wrong?

Mike: You gonna introduce me?

Pamela: Uh, why?

Mike: What do you mean why?

Pamela: Am I missing something?

Uh, I'm so sorry.

Mike: Yeah. I think we should talk.

Pamela: Okay. I'll call you

after I'm done here.

Mike: No. We could talk here.

Talk in front of your boy, right? Right?

Pamela: What is wrong with you?

Mike: I just wanna know what's going on.

[Orlando sighs]

Pamela: Okay.

I'm sorry, Orlando, I--I don't know what this is all about.

Orlando: Yo, kid, why don't you bounce, man?

Mike: What did you say? Orlando: You heard me.

Pamela: No.

Orlando: Hmm. Mike: You know what?

Orlando: What's up? Pamela: Mike.

Mike: You can lose my number.

[Pamela chuckles] Okay. Bye.

Mike: Okay. [Chuckles]

[Liquid splashes, glass clatters]

Pamela: What is wrong with you?

[Orlando sighs]

Bill: What?

Mike: What's up?

[Bill chuckles]

Mike.

So, uh, that didn't look like it went too well.

Mike: No. She didn't even introduce me.

Bill: Yeah. Well?

Mike: Yeah, what the hell?

Bill: Bruh, you know what?

[Chuckles]

Yo, you're so damn confusing, bruh.

Hey, can I get a couple more, please?

Mike: How--how am I confusing?

Bill: First, you don't want her.

You treat her like a extra biscuit

or a used condom.

And then you get mad because--because of that?

Come on, man. I can't with you.

Wow.

Mike: I should go over there and trip his big ass.

Bill: Uh-hmm.

And what, go to jail?

Mike: So?

Bill: Yo, he just signed a $39 million contract.

You don't think you're gonna get sued?

Mike: It'd be worth it.

All of that would be worth it to kick his ass.

Bill: No, that's a big-ass dude.

You're gonna get stomped.

Uh-uh. Uh-uh.

Mike: I can't believe-- I can't believe

she with somebody like that, bro.

Can we get our drink, please?

[Bill chuckles] Oh, yeah.

Somebody get this boy a drink.

Yo, I can't with you no more, man.

No more. Mike: What?

Bill: See?

All this time, you've been talking shit

about me and Regina, when you sprung over Pamela,

about to get your ass beat.

Mike: I'm not sprung.

Bill: Yeah. Mike: Thank you.

Bill: Yeah. Okay. Slow down.

Mike: I'm not sprung. Bill: Uh-hmm.

Mike: She's one of many.

Bill: Yeah, sure.

Mike: And if she think that book going to work on me,

she got another thing coming.

Bill: Yeah, man. What book?

Mike: The book you told me about,

that chapter seven shit.

Bill: Nuh-uh. No.

That book didn't say shit about dating

a starting quarterback.

Mm.

Mike: She made me feel small, yeah.

Bill: Yeah. Now, who's being sensitive?

[Laughs]

Mike: Shut up.

Bill: Oh, I'm enjoying this shit.

Oh. Mm.

Mike: For you.

Bill: Uh-hmm.

Yo, you know, you are

small next to that dude.

Probably in a lot of ways.

I mean, I wouldn't know.

She could tell, though.

[Laughs]

Mike: You want me to hit you in the face?

Bill: No. Mike: Why not, bro?

Do you want me to hit you in the face?

Bill: Yo, yo, why are you so violent?

Mike: I will hit you.

Bill: You look like you're about to hit that.

[Laughs]

Bam, bam. [Laughs]

Go--here you go.

Here you go, boy. Mike: Waiter.

Bill: Oh, snap.

Oh, yo, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, all right?

I'm just saying.

Who's that now? Mike: It's Tom.

Bill: Yeah, man. He just hit me up, too.

Mike: Meet me in my place at 8:00.

Bill: I wonder what this is about.

Mike: I bet it's about John.

Bill: Yeah. All right.

All right. Let's wrap it up.

Let's go.

[Sighs] Come on. You good?

Mike: I'm fine. Bill: Hey, you need to do

some yoga or something?

Mike: Shut the fuck up.

Bill: I'm just saying.

Mike: I'm good! Isn't shit!

Bill: Ooh. Yo.

Singer: ♪ A cold-stone throw from your sweet spot ♪

♪ Your heart too cold to love anybody else ♪

♪ You should know I'm not just anybody else ♪

♪ I'm the one you call when your plans get canceled ♪

♪ And you wanna go phantom... ♪

Tom: Hey.

Alice: Did you talk to him?

Tom: Yes.

Alice: What did he say?

Tom: Well, he didn't say much.

Alice: He's so damn stubborn.

Tom: Yes, he is.

Alice: I don't know where he got that from.

Tom: Well, I have an idea.

Alice: From where?

Tom: Well... Alice: Don't play with me.

Tom: Okay.

Alice: I don't want him to throw his life away again.

Tom: Ms. Alice... Alice: No.

Why he couldn't have been like y'all?

Just stay out of damn trouble.

Tom: He's trying to figure it out.

Alice: Don't make no damn excuses for him.

Tom: I'm not.

Alice: It looks that way to me.

He didn't say anything?

Tom: He just said it's done.

Alice: Okay.

I need to go over there and talk to him.

Tom: Ms. Alice... Alice: Watch this place.

And fill up these damn napkin holders.

And run this damn place.

Laura: You ain't got nothing to worry about.

Alice: And don't let this bitch over there

at the cash register.

Laura: Uh, well, damn, Ms. Alice.

Alice: What? Hell, you know

your fingers are stickier than weave glue.

Laura: God, she is the worst.

Tom: Well... Laura: Hi.

I'm Laura.

Tom: I'm Tom. [Laura chuckles]

You're cute.

Tom: Thank you.

Laura: So this is where you say...

"You are, too."

Tom: What?

Oh, sorry, uh, you are, too.

Laura: So you're a doctor?

Tom: Yeah.

Laura: Hmm. Okay.

Well, uh, I've been having

this, like, ache in my back, you know?

Maybe you could just take a--take a look?

Tom: I'm actually off duty, so.

[Laura scoffs]

Okay.

[Clicks tongue] So you're like that?

Tom: What? Laura: All stuck up

and an asshole?

Tom: Excuse me? Laura: No, no.

I mean, I'm trying to be

nice to you, right?

Have a conversation and--and you're

just gonna blow me off?

Tom: I don't know what's happening right now.

Laura: I don't either.

Look--look at me.

I'm beautiful.

And your ass should notice me, period.

Tom: I'm sorry. You're right.

You are beautiful.

Laura: Thank you.

You wanna take me out?

Tom: Uh...I--I don't think so. I'm actually married.

Laura: Uh, that's okay. I won't tell her.

Tom: Well, I have a baby on the way.

Laura: I won't tell the baby either.

Tom: I--I'm good.

And I'm sorry about being a jerk.

I've got a lot on my mind right now.

Laura: Yeah.

We all do, but, you know,

you can still be nice.

Tom: Yeah, I'm-- I really am sorry.

Laura: Yeah. Okay.

I'm still coming through.

Tom: Whoa, whoa, wait, wait. No, no, no.

Don't do that.

John: We ain't open yet.

Oh, my God.

Hey, we--

Alice: I've never been more disappointed in you.

John: Are you sure about that, Ma?

Alice: No. John: You sure was in college.

Alice: We bringing that up? John: You're the one

talking about disappointments.

Alice: Yeah, that was bad.

John: Yeah, I know. [Sighs]

Alice: Had to come and get you out of jail.

[John scoffs] You never let me forget it.

Alice: No, I didn't.

I wanted you to be more like your boys.

Like--like Mike the lawyer, Tom the doctor, Bill--

John: Ma, I'm not them.

I'm, uh, I'm myself.

Alice: No, no, no, no, you're not.

You wanna take drug money and open a club.

John: Yup. I sure do.

Alice: Why are you being so damn flip?

John: Ma, why are you here?

Alice: You don't think I'll take this .22

and bust a cap in your ass?

And tell them it was an accident?

John: Okay, Ma. What do you want?

Alice: You don't believe me?

John: I--I believe you, Ma.

This is done, okay?

Nothing you're gonna say is gonna change it.

Alice: I know it. John: Okay.

Alice: But I'ma give you something to think about.

John: What do you want me to think about, Ma?

Alice: When all of this come crashing down on you,

and it will, you won't have me here to pick up the pieces.

John: Okay. Thank you.

Alice: What's up? John: What?

Alice: With that smart-ass attitude?

[John scoffs]

Are you gonna hit me, Ma? Hmm?

Alice: Yes, I will.

I take one of these cue balls and fuck you up with it.

John: Okay, Ma, listen.

You can't hurt me no more than you already have.

Alice: You wanna bet? [John sighs]

Ma, can you leave?

I got contractors coming.

I'm trying to get this place open.

Alice: Who are you gonna have run your sandwich shop?

John: I'ma do that, too.

Alice: Good.

Because I quit.

John: Okay. That's fine, Ma.

Alice: You're trying to hurt me?

John: What? No, I'm not trying to hurt you.

Alice: Yes, you are. John: Okay.

Alice: No. John: Ma...

Alice: When I-- when I went to the doctor

and, uh, they told me-- they said...

John: That you got cancer.

You got cancer, don't you?

Alice: How do you know? You a prophet?

John: Every time I do something you don't want me to do,

you say you got cancer.

And then when I do it, you're magically healed.

"Oh, the Lord healed me again."

That's you. Alice: Oh, shit.

Okay, that's it. I guess it is.

John: That is it, Ma. Alice: Okay.

John: Have a great day.

Alice: I'm just gonna tell you this, baby.

From the bottom of my heart.

If you open this place,

I'm gonna burn this bitch down.

To ashes.

Ashes!

I'm going to get the gas can right now!

A half a damn gallon.

Damn gas is too high.

[John chuckles]

Alice: You done lost your damn mind.

[Doorbell rings]

Bill: What's up?

Yo, what's up?

Tom: I need to talk to you guys. Mike: Yeah, we gathered

that from the text.

Tom: Sit down. Mike: I'll stand.

Tom: Mike.

Bill: Yeah, yo, what--

what's all this about, man?

Tom: We need to talk about John.

Mike: Bro, what did I say?

Tom: No, no. You guys need

to listen to me and talk about this.

John got that money--

Mike: From Leon. We know.

Tom: Well, it's done.

Bill: What's up? Oh, so he bought the place?

Tom: Yeah.

Bill: Yeah. Good for him.

Mike: Okay.

Tom: Nothing about that is good for him.

Bill: Yo, what is it, man? Huh? What?

Tom: What's wrong with you?

Mike: Yo, Tom, Tom, Regina just left here.

Tom: Wait, you're back with her now?

Mike: No. She's getting married.

Tom: What? Bill: Yo, can we--can we just

talk about what this is about?

[Mike clears throat] Tom: That's why you've been in

such a foul-ass mood.

Bill: Yo, this ain't about me. What is it? What?

Stop bringing up my shit.

Tom: We need to go over there and talk to him.

Bill: Go where, man?

Tom: Level 28.

Mike: Well, looks like he's made up his mind, so.

Bill: Yo, yo, just--just...

Tom: Hold on a second, man.

What is this shit?

No, he's done so much to help us out

and y'all pull this type of shit?

Mike: Bruh, we paid him back three times over. So?

Tom: Oh, you got a lot of audacity

to say something like that.

Bill: Yo, yo, Tom, chill.

Tom: No, man.

Bill: No, Tom. For real.

Mike: Come on. Bill: It's nothing.

Just don't worry about it.

Mike: Nothing? For what?

Bill: It's good. Mike: What the hell?

You got something to say? Speak up.

Bill: Tom [indistinct].

Tom: He took the fall.

For you. Mike: For me?

What are you talking about?

Tom: That night?

You got drunk with that girl.

Bill: Yeah, yo, Tom...

Tom: No, don't "Tom" me, man.

Bill: Okay.

Bill: That girl said you drugged her.

Mike: I don't know what you're talking about.

Tom: Yeah. Yeah, I know that.

You don't know.

You don't know because he got you up out of there.

You were so damn drunk.

And John came in and got you out of there.

He got kicked out of school for that.

He took the blame.

He wasn't even there, but she thought he was

because he said he was.

She was too drunk to remember.

Mike: What are you talking about?

[Bill sighs]

Tom: You did it. Mike: What did I do?

What are you talking about, bro?

Bill: [Indistinct]. Mike: No, tell me the truth.

What are you talking about?

Tom: You got drunk.

You both went back to the dorm.

And then later, she came running out of there crying,

talking about, "I didn't wanna do anything."

I was too scared to do a damn thing about it.

He was passed out.

And then John, he swooped in,

said he gonna take the fall.

And his life has been fucked up ever since because of it.

So forgive me if I think that I owe him something.

So now, we're in a position to

actually do something and help him out of

a fucked up situation.

And we're gonna turn our backs on him?

I ain't doing it.

I ain't doing that.

So I'm gonna go down there

and I'm gonna get him out of this shit.

I don't care what it costs me.

And I just hope that you two are man enough

to come down there, too.

[Door opens and closes]

[Mike clears throat]

Bill: Hey, Mike.

Mike: He really did that?

Bill: Yeah, man.

Mike: No, that's bullshit.

Bill: No, I was there.

[Mike clears throat]

So you're telling me that I raped that girl?

Bill: No, no, no. She didn't say you raped her.

Nothing like that.

Mike: Then what the hell?

Bill: Let me keep it real with you, bruh.

You got a--you got a really bad habit

of going after shit you're not supposed to have.

Now, you knew she was the dean's daughter.

And John knew that you, me, and Tom

were all doing good in school.

So he took the rap for us.

Look, I...I don't know what's going on,

but I'ma go over there tomorrow

and I'ma try to talk him out of this.

So it looks like you got a decision to make, bruh.

Mike: No.

I'm there.

I'm there.