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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:02:03,494 --> 00:02:04,992 Hey, Marla. 4 00:02:05,061 --> 00:02:07,695 My cleaning service flaked, so I can't make it. 5 00:02:07,764 --> 00:02:09,630 Yeah, it's been a big ol' shit show. 6 00:02:09,699 --> 00:02:12,200 I had people checking in to units that weren't cleaned, 7 00:02:12,269 --> 00:02:15,036 and now I'm here with a vacuum. 8 00:02:15,105 --> 00:02:17,472 No, no, you stay. I'm fine. 9 00:02:17,541 --> 00:02:20,704 You know, I got my music. It's -- It's kinda relaxing. 10 00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:21,944 Okay, now, bye-bye. 11 00:02:59,717 --> 00:03:01,416 Hi. Can I help you? 12 00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:04,247 Yes, I'm having a little bit of car trouble. 13 00:03:04,316 --> 00:03:08,589 These steep mountain roads, they got me stuck. 14 00:03:08,658 --> 00:03:10,592 Can I borrow your phone? 15 00:03:10,661 --> 00:03:13,396 My phone? Don't you have a cellphone? 16 00:03:13,465 --> 00:03:15,264 It -- It died. 17 00:03:15,333 --> 00:03:17,500 Guess it just ain't my day. 18 00:03:17,569 --> 00:03:19,868 Oh, this here's my son. 19 00:03:23,707 --> 00:03:25,640 Wait, what are you -- No, you can't -- 20 00:03:25,709 --> 00:03:27,909 No, what are you -- You can't come in here! 21 00:03:47,698 --> 00:03:49,931 I lost my pretty face. She'll see me! 22 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:54,837 Don't worry, baby. I got your pretty face. 23 00:03:54,906 --> 00:03:57,706 Remember, say nice things to her. 24 00:03:57,775 --> 00:04:00,742 Girls like to hear nice things. 25 00:04:26,971 --> 00:04:30,405 Did that feel good? 26 00:04:30,474 --> 00:04:32,941 Did you get your yuckies out? 27 00:04:33,945 --> 00:04:36,844 I guess she wasn't the one. 28 00:04:36,913 --> 00:04:40,349 You'll know when the right one comes along. 29 00:04:40,418 --> 00:04:41,716 Right one. 30 00:04:41,785 --> 00:04:44,419 Oh, baby, you certainly made a mess, 31 00:04:44,488 --> 00:04:46,391 I'll tell you that. 32 00:04:49,527 --> 00:04:54,830 All these cleaning supplies sure do come in handy. 33 00:04:54,899 --> 00:04:56,668 Lucky for us. 34 00:04:59,837 --> 00:05:02,137 What you doing there, baby? 35 00:05:02,206 --> 00:05:03,271 Evidence. 36 00:05:03,340 --> 00:05:05,306 Evidence! 37 00:05:05,375 --> 00:05:06,509 Such a big word! 38 00:05:06,578 --> 00:05:09,779 You're such a smart man. 39 00:05:09,848 --> 00:05:12,517 You're destroying evidence. 40 00:05:15,687 --> 00:05:18,318 Evidence. Yes. 41 00:05:20,185 --> 00:05:23,058 But we can't burn the body. 42 00:05:23,127 --> 00:05:26,394 No, bones don't burn. 43 00:05:26,463 --> 00:05:29,764 We're going to have to bury the body somewhere 44 00:05:29,833 --> 00:05:34,336 and then just bury the evidence with that. 45 00:05:34,405 --> 00:05:36,604 Like the digging game. 46 00:05:36,673 --> 00:05:39,909 You like the digging game? 47 00:05:39,978 --> 00:05:41,413 Huh? 48 00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:44,649 Alright. 49 00:05:51,522 --> 00:05:56,659 Oh, crappus dappus, baby. We need to hide. 50 00:05:56,728 --> 00:05:59,327 Grab the body. Help me. 51 00:05:59,396 --> 00:06:02,798 Oh, oh, come on. 52 00:06:02,867 --> 00:06:04,232 Good. 53 00:06:22,420 --> 00:06:23,518 What'd I tell ya? 54 00:06:23,587 --> 00:06:24,619 Isn't this great? 55 00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:25,721 Yeah. It's great, right? 56 00:06:25,790 --> 00:06:27,122 Really nice. 57 00:06:27,191 --> 00:06:29,692 My lungs are not used to all this clean air. 58 00:06:29,761 --> 00:06:31,692 At least we got our steps in. 59 00:06:31,761 --> 00:06:33,394 Do you think the cleaner came? 60 00:06:33,463 --> 00:06:37,465 Uh, she was supposed to be gone at 4:00, and it is after 4:00. 61 00:06:37,534 --> 00:06:39,601 There's still dust everywhere. 62 00:06:39,670 --> 00:06:43,004 Well, babe, it's -- it's rustic, you know? 63 00:06:43,073 --> 00:06:44,873 I mean, supposedly parts of this house 64 00:06:44,942 --> 00:06:46,708 were built before the Civil War. 65 00:06:46,777 --> 00:06:48,043 So, uh, I think we're probably 66 00:06:48,112 --> 00:06:50,345 just gonna have to get used to the dust. 67 00:06:50,414 --> 00:06:52,514 Did you leave the fireplace going? 68 00:06:52,583 --> 00:06:53,816 Or was that the cleaning lady? 69 00:06:53,885 --> 00:06:56,617 Uh, no, that was -- that was me. 70 00:06:56,686 --> 00:06:58,287 I was filming and I think I forgot. 71 00:06:58,356 --> 00:06:59,654 Alex, that's super dangerous. 72 00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:02,157 You could've burned the house down. 73 00:07:02,226 --> 00:07:06,428 I mean, I didn't, so that's -- that's good news. 74 00:07:06,497 --> 00:07:07,629 Hey, you want some wine? 75 00:07:07,698 --> 00:07:10,233 God, yes. But I gotta pee first. 76 00:07:10,302 --> 00:07:11,937 Cool. 77 00:07:28,419 --> 00:07:31,419 Hey, you want to, uh, go chill out by the fire, 78 00:07:31,488 --> 00:07:33,717 and I'll -- I'll serve you. 79 00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:34,622 Okay. 80 00:07:34,691 --> 00:07:35,957 Won't I mess up your shot? 81 00:07:36,026 --> 00:07:37,320 No, no, no, no, you're good. 82 00:07:37,389 --> 00:07:38,826 I'm actually pretty good with that. 83 00:07:38,895 --> 00:07:41,030 I just, um -- I usually just shoot for like an hour or two 84 00:07:41,099 --> 00:07:43,564 and then I find, like, a little bit that I like, 85 00:07:43,633 --> 00:07:45,601 and I loop it -- corkscrew. 86 00:07:47,933 --> 00:07:51,540 Ah, found it. 87 00:07:51,609 --> 00:07:54,109 The cleaning lady did the hearth. 88 00:07:54,178 --> 00:07:55,911 It's still wet. 89 00:07:55,980 --> 00:07:59,582 Oh, I was screwing with that corkscrew. 90 00:07:59,651 --> 00:08:00,783 I didn't even need to. 91 00:08:00,852 --> 00:08:03,222 Wine's a screw top. 92 00:08:06,991 --> 00:08:09,057 Mm. Mm! 93 00:08:09,126 --> 00:08:11,293 Oh, fancy! 94 00:08:13,898 --> 00:08:17,532 Did you know that screw tops 95 00:08:17,601 --> 00:08:19,435 are actually a lot better for the wine? 96 00:08:19,504 --> 00:08:20,635 Hmm. 97 00:08:20,704 --> 00:08:22,837 But wine makers keep using corks 98 00:08:22,906 --> 00:08:24,206 because they think all of us just assume 99 00:08:24,275 --> 00:08:27,109 if something has a cork that it's, like, nicer. 100 00:08:27,178 --> 00:08:29,777 Mm. Big Cork suppressing the truth. 101 00:08:29,846 --> 00:08:31,880 I got your big cork right here, baby. 102 00:08:31,949 --> 00:08:34,449 Hope it's bigger than a cork. 103 00:08:34,518 --> 00:08:36,017 It's marginally bigger than a cork. 104 00:08:36,086 --> 00:08:38,119 I know. Just a little bit. 105 00:08:39,056 --> 00:08:41,022 To, um... 106 00:08:41,091 --> 00:08:44,725 To us. The coral reefs not dying. 107 00:08:44,794 --> 00:08:48,430 To us and the coral reefs not dying, yeah. 108 00:08:48,499 --> 00:08:50,932 I read something the other day, they've got that, um, 109 00:08:51,001 --> 00:08:53,101 sunscreen that, like, doesn't hurt the reefs? 110 00:08:53,170 --> 00:08:55,170 Pretty cool. Yeah. But they're still dying. 111 00:08:55,239 --> 00:08:58,139 There's a lot of things that are killing it. 112 00:08:58,208 --> 00:09:01,776 Yeah, like I said, it's, you know, always something. 113 00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:05,613 Would you like to join me on this luxurious rug? 114 00:09:05,682 --> 00:09:07,683 Okay, I know where this is going. 115 00:09:07,752 --> 00:09:09,819 What? Is your camera still on? 116 00:09:09,887 --> 00:09:11,586 No. No. I just wanted to... 117 00:09:11,655 --> 00:09:13,321 Mm-hmm. ...chill out on the rug. 118 00:09:13,390 --> 00:09:15,657 Yeah? 'Cause that one time was a one-time deal. 119 00:09:15,726 --> 00:09:18,226 Oh, that one time was -- I'm not going to end up in your sexy yule log video. 120 00:09:18,295 --> 00:09:20,961 Hey! Hey! Hey! No, no, no, you say that now 121 00:09:21,030 --> 00:09:24,166 until that cash starts rollin' when we start that OnlyFans. 122 00:09:24,235 --> 00:09:26,767 Babe, I don't think that I want to sit on a dead bear. 123 00:09:26,836 --> 00:09:28,904 I mean, do you think it's real? 124 00:09:28,973 --> 00:09:30,840 Do I think this is a fake bearskin rug? 125 00:09:30,909 --> 00:09:33,375 Is that even really a thing, babe? 126 00:09:33,444 --> 00:09:36,645 It's just -- I dunno. It's cruel. 127 00:09:36,714 --> 00:09:38,213 Oh, it's cruel, it's cruel. 128 00:09:38,282 --> 00:09:40,381 Says the girl wearing leather boots. 129 00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:43,251 Okay, first of all, there's no face on my boots. 130 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,921 And it's just -- 131 00:09:45,990 --> 00:09:48,323 I dunno. It just feels weird, okay? 132 00:09:48,392 --> 00:09:50,420 Okay! And, yeah, he's just sitting there 133 00:09:50,489 --> 00:09:52,160 staring at us pissed. Sure. 134 00:09:52,229 --> 00:09:54,096 I mean, I can -- I can move him. 135 00:09:54,165 --> 00:09:55,964 Why are you petting his head like that? 136 00:09:56,033 --> 00:09:58,700 Because he's a friend now. 137 00:09:58,769 --> 00:10:00,736 You actually look really cute on it. 138 00:10:00,805 --> 00:10:01,971 Yeah? Yeah. 139 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:05,407 In a... sexy caveman kind of way. 140 00:10:05,476 --> 00:10:07,179 Oh? 141 00:10:12,416 --> 00:10:13,515 Don't let the boy see. 142 00:10:13,584 --> 00:10:15,350 Yeah. 143 00:10:15,419 --> 00:10:17,852 You look really good, too, actually. Oh. 144 00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:21,423 You got this, like, sexy glow from the fireplace. 145 00:10:21,492 --> 00:10:23,325 You look like, um... 146 00:10:23,394 --> 00:10:24,993 Beyoncé? ...Beyoncé. 147 00:10:25,062 --> 00:10:26,695 Thank you. 148 00:10:26,764 --> 00:10:28,097 I love you. I love you. 149 00:10:28,166 --> 00:10:29,531 Yeah? Yeah. 150 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:30,936 Mm. 151 00:10:33,571 --> 00:10:36,305 Would the lady like a snack? 152 00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:37,405 Mmm, always. 153 00:10:37,474 --> 00:10:38,441 Yeah? Yeah. 154 00:10:38,510 --> 00:10:39,744 Okay. 155 00:10:54,158 --> 00:10:55,123 Okay. 156 00:10:55,192 --> 00:10:56,959 Ah, ah, shit, shit shit! 157 00:10:57,028 --> 00:10:58,559 Mm! Damn it! Hey, are you okay? 158 00:10:58,628 --> 00:11:00,395 Yeah, no, I just got a -- 159 00:11:00,464 --> 00:11:01,930 What's wrong? What's up? I got a charley horse or somethin'. 160 00:11:01,999 --> 00:11:03,698 It's not a big deal. Oh, no, no, no. 161 00:11:03,767 --> 00:11:05,167 I might have some Tylenol. No, I just got to stretch it out. 162 00:11:05,236 --> 00:11:06,736 It's cool, it's cool, it's cool. Listen. 163 00:11:06,805 --> 00:11:08,971 Listen, Zoe, Zoe. 164 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:10,471 This last year with you has been, like, 165 00:11:10,540 --> 00:11:13,275 the most rad year of my life. Good, babe. 166 00:11:13,344 --> 00:11:15,276 Yeah, and -- I've had a really good time, too. 167 00:11:15,345 --> 00:11:17,178 Where is my Tylenol? Um, there's only really one thing 168 00:11:17,247 --> 00:11:19,013 that I think could make it better. 169 00:11:19,082 --> 00:11:22,484 Babe, where'd you put the Tylenol? And that's if... 170 00:11:22,553 --> 00:11:25,754 you married me. 171 00:11:25,823 --> 00:11:29,424 Oh, my God! 172 00:11:29,493 --> 00:11:31,827 You said something was wrong with your leg, you asshole! 173 00:11:31,896 --> 00:11:34,296 Well, I said what I had to say! 174 00:11:34,365 --> 00:11:36,092 Oh, my God, Alex! 175 00:11:36,161 --> 00:11:37,767 It's so... 176 00:11:37,836 --> 00:11:39,668 It's so beautiful. 177 00:11:39,737 --> 00:11:40,836 Where'd you get it? 178 00:11:40,905 --> 00:11:42,804 It was Nana's. 179 00:11:42,873 --> 00:11:44,205 Kinda cheesy, I guess, but, uh, 180 00:11:44,274 --> 00:11:47,242 I know you told me you didn't want me to, you know, 181 00:11:47,311 --> 00:11:48,711 do the whole blood diamond thing, so... 182 00:11:48,780 --> 00:11:51,146 And I love you for that. 183 00:11:51,215 --> 00:11:53,014 God, I -- 184 00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:55,783 I'm just -- I'm -- I'm in shock, babe. 185 00:11:55,852 --> 00:11:57,552 You're in shock? Are you serious? Yes! 186 00:11:57,621 --> 00:12:00,055 I took you to this beautiful mountain retreat, 187 00:12:00,124 --> 00:12:01,256 and you're -- and you're surprised? 188 00:12:01,325 --> 00:12:02,990 I-I've just been working so much, 189 00:12:03,059 --> 00:12:06,729 I didn't even, weirdly, think about it, I guess. 190 00:12:06,798 --> 00:12:08,931 Okay. 191 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:11,733 Oh, my God. 192 00:12:11,802 --> 00:12:14,570 Well, I mean... 193 00:12:14,639 --> 00:12:16,341 what do you say? 194 00:12:18,577 --> 00:12:20,041 Alex. 195 00:12:20,110 --> 00:12:22,178 Babe, you know I love you. 196 00:12:22,247 --> 00:12:23,579 Hmm? 197 00:12:23,648 --> 00:12:24,646 Hmm? 198 00:12:24,715 --> 00:12:26,047 Yeah. Yeah. 199 00:12:26,116 --> 00:12:28,416 I mean, you're -- you're kinda scaring me right now. 200 00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,223 Um... 201 00:12:34,292 --> 00:12:35,691 Okay. 202 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:37,462 That's weird. Uh... 203 00:12:39,229 --> 00:12:40,696 Babe, something is wrong. 204 00:12:40,765 --> 00:12:42,531 You don't know that. 205 00:12:45,603 --> 00:12:46,835 Hi. 206 00:12:46,904 --> 00:12:48,938 Sheriff: Sorry to bother y'all. 207 00:12:49,007 --> 00:12:51,339 Uh, we're just canvassing the area 208 00:12:51,408 --> 00:12:55,143 to see if you noticed anything unusual last night? 209 00:12:55,212 --> 00:12:57,673 Oh, uh, we weren't here last night. 210 00:12:57,742 --> 00:12:59,909 We got here today. We're renting. 211 00:12:59,978 --> 00:13:01,483 Yeah, we checked in early and went for a hike 212 00:13:01,552 --> 00:13:03,285 so they could finish cleaning the place. 213 00:13:03,354 --> 00:13:05,921 Did you hear or see anything unusual 214 00:13:05,990 --> 00:13:08,056 while you're staying here, anything suspicious? 215 00:13:08,125 --> 00:13:11,187 No. We didn't hear or see anything suspicious, 216 00:13:11,256 --> 00:13:12,188 did we, Alex? 217 00:13:12,257 --> 00:13:13,298 No. 218 00:13:15,066 --> 00:13:17,265 Is something wrong? 219 00:13:17,334 --> 00:13:21,737 Well, um, we don't wanna freak out the tourists. 220 00:13:21,806 --> 00:13:23,838 Tourists are our lifeblood. 221 00:13:23,907 --> 00:13:27,309 But we found a body on the other side of the mountain last night. 222 00:13:27,378 --> 00:13:28,847 Oh, my God. 223 00:13:30,815 --> 00:13:32,080 Is it a hiker or something? 224 00:13:32,149 --> 00:13:33,748 How -- How did they die? 225 00:13:33,817 --> 00:13:35,416 The coroner's doing a report. 226 00:13:35,485 --> 00:13:36,985 That's all we can say right now. 227 00:13:37,054 --> 00:13:39,688 But she didn't beat and strangle herself. 228 00:13:39,757 --> 00:13:40,889 Holy shit! 229 00:13:40,958 --> 00:13:42,357 Oh, my God. Babe. 230 00:13:42,426 --> 00:13:44,627 Wait a minute. 231 00:13:44,696 --> 00:13:46,795 May I come in? 232 00:13:46,864 --> 00:13:49,699 Uh...yeah, that's fine. 233 00:13:49,768 --> 00:13:51,436 Yeah, come on in. 234 00:14:00,378 --> 00:14:03,011 Where'd you get the log? 235 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:07,215 Uh, just down the road a little bit. 236 00:14:07,284 --> 00:14:10,218 From the tree with the rocks around it in a circle? 237 00:14:10,287 --> 00:14:12,387 Yeah. I think so. Why? 238 00:14:12,456 --> 00:14:14,490 Is there something wrong? 239 00:14:14,559 --> 00:14:17,058 That's a hanging tree. 240 00:14:17,127 --> 00:14:19,395 They used to hang slaves on it. 241 00:14:19,464 --> 00:14:20,663 Ohh. Oh, my God! 242 00:14:20,732 --> 00:14:21,897 I-I-I didn't know. 243 00:14:21,966 --> 00:14:23,999 I-I mean, how was I supposed to know? 244 00:14:24,068 --> 00:14:25,533 It just was a-a cool-looking log. 245 00:14:25,602 --> 00:14:27,068 And the branch I cut it off was dead, so... 246 00:14:27,137 --> 00:14:29,064 Didn't you see the plaque? 247 00:14:29,133 --> 00:14:31,340 No, I didn't see the plaque. Did you see a plaque? 248 00:14:31,409 --> 00:14:33,108 We -- We saw no plaques, Sheriff. 249 00:14:33,177 --> 00:14:36,005 Oh, Diane took down that plaque, Sheriff. 250 00:14:36,074 --> 00:14:37,913 Yeah, she rents that place out for weddings down there. 251 00:14:37,982 --> 00:14:39,782 They don't want to read about slavery. 252 00:14:39,851 --> 00:14:40,916 She took down the plaque? 253 00:14:40,985 --> 00:14:43,551 Yes. 'Cause of weddings. 254 00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:47,055 Well, it's her land, but she shouldn't have done that. 255 00:14:47,124 --> 00:14:49,224 I'm going to have to talk to her about that. 256 00:14:49,293 --> 00:14:52,961 Did we do something wrong? 'Cause we had no idea. 257 00:14:53,030 --> 00:14:55,763 That's also a very sacred tree 258 00:14:55,832 --> 00:14:58,366 to the tribe that used to live around these parts. 259 00:14:58,435 --> 00:15:00,869 Yeah, they considered it a demon tree. 260 00:15:00,938 --> 00:15:02,772 They would never touch it. 261 00:15:02,841 --> 00:15:05,474 Supposedly it fed on fear 262 00:15:05,543 --> 00:15:08,311 and all the iron from all the blood spilling underneath it. 263 00:15:08,380 --> 00:15:09,706 Hollis. 264 00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:11,346 I'm researching for a Ghost Walk. 265 00:15:11,415 --> 00:15:15,684 Well, these nice people don't need your ghost walk spiel. 266 00:15:15,753 --> 00:15:17,422 They're on vacation. 267 00:15:19,489 --> 00:15:21,393 Can I get a glass of water? 268 00:15:23,928 --> 00:15:26,498 Yeah, of course. Of course. 269 00:15:37,541 --> 00:15:39,708 Now, I'm not the superstitious type. 270 00:15:39,777 --> 00:15:41,676 Yeah. 271 00:15:41,745 --> 00:15:45,147 But I've heard enough of this weird crap around here. 272 00:15:45,216 --> 00:15:46,547 Some of these people think this mountain's 273 00:15:46,616 --> 00:15:51,053 like some kinda hillbilly Bermuda Triangle. 274 00:15:51,122 --> 00:15:53,489 Yeah. Maybe it's from the tree. 275 00:15:53,558 --> 00:15:54,857 Maybe it's not. 276 00:15:54,926 --> 00:15:57,760 It is. 277 00:15:57,829 --> 00:15:59,498 Well, we won't do it again. 278 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:05,462 Oh. 279 00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:08,103 Okay. Um... 280 00:16:08,172 --> 00:16:11,768 I wouldn't burn that log again. 281 00:16:11,837 --> 00:16:14,643 Tomorrow I'd bury it respectfully. 282 00:16:14,712 --> 00:16:16,278 Don't touch it. 283 00:16:16,347 --> 00:16:18,814 Use some cloth to carry it out. 284 00:16:18,883 --> 00:16:20,848 Maybe even say a prayer. 285 00:16:20,917 --> 00:16:23,017 That's what I'd recommend. Yeah, okay, no, absolutely. 286 00:16:23,086 --> 00:16:25,448 We'll do whatever's necessary. We're so sorry. Yeah. Yeah. 287 00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:28,924 We'll -- We'll say our prayers and everything, yeah. Yeah. 288 00:16:28,993 --> 00:16:30,292 Y'all two on vacation? 289 00:16:30,361 --> 00:16:32,393 Uh, we were, yes, a very nice vacation 290 00:16:32,462 --> 00:16:33,761 until both of you guys showed up 291 00:16:33,830 --> 00:16:37,799 talking about dead bodies and demon trees. 292 00:16:37,868 --> 00:16:40,068 Well, wait until he tells you about the aliens. 293 00:16:41,940 --> 00:16:44,106 I-I'm sorry. 294 00:16:44,175 --> 00:16:47,108 Y-You two seem like a very nice couple. 295 00:16:47,177 --> 00:16:50,211 And I-I want you to enjoy yourselves. 296 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:53,749 But I just like to be cautious. 297 00:16:53,818 --> 00:16:55,346 The Sheriff's very cautious. 298 00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:58,087 Sure. 299 00:16:58,156 --> 00:16:59,722 That's a nice camera. 300 00:16:59,791 --> 00:17:01,089 Uh, yeah, thank you. 301 00:17:01,158 --> 00:17:02,624 Yeah. What do you call this thing? 302 00:17:02,693 --> 00:17:04,893 Like a... 303 00:17:04,962 --> 00:17:06,161 DSLR? 304 00:17:06,230 --> 00:17:08,130 Uh close. 305 00:17:08,199 --> 00:17:09,364 It's an AF100. 306 00:17:09,433 --> 00:17:11,499 It's probably overkill for my purposes, 307 00:17:11,568 --> 00:17:14,469 but, uh, you know, I just like stuff to look nice. 308 00:17:14,538 --> 00:17:15,837 You know, like, during the holidays 309 00:17:15,906 --> 00:17:18,034 where people that don't have a fireplace, 310 00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:19,842 they like to put up a video of a fire? 311 00:17:19,911 --> 00:17:21,109 Yeah. 312 00:17:21,178 --> 00:17:23,311 I make those. I put them on YouTube. 313 00:17:23,380 --> 00:17:24,579 Oh, no kidding? 314 00:17:24,648 --> 00:17:26,181 Hey, we use that down at the station. 315 00:17:26,250 --> 00:17:28,249 Yeah. It's got Christmas music on. 316 00:17:28,318 --> 00:17:30,586 Yeah, my daughter uses one, too, to study. 317 00:17:30,655 --> 00:17:33,192 She's got ADHD. 318 00:17:34,358 --> 00:17:36,324 Well, uh, I did one last year in Bali. 319 00:17:36,393 --> 00:17:39,562 It was a, uh -- like a beach bonfire situation. 320 00:17:39,631 --> 00:17:41,029 Pretty cool. 321 00:17:41,098 --> 00:17:45,300 Huh. Is that like a job or just a hobby? 322 00:17:45,369 --> 00:17:48,070 Um, I make some money at it, yeah. 323 00:17:48,139 --> 00:17:51,406 He has at least a million views. 324 00:17:51,475 --> 00:17:53,675 I'm in the wrong business. 325 00:17:53,744 --> 00:17:58,380 Well, If you recorded that log, I would definitely erase it. 326 00:17:58,449 --> 00:18:01,116 Anyway, we'll let you nice people 327 00:18:01,185 --> 00:18:03,146 get back to your vacation. 328 00:18:03,215 --> 00:18:07,355 But if you need anything, anything at all, 329 00:18:07,424 --> 00:18:09,892 here's my card. 330 00:18:09,961 --> 00:18:11,526 Absolutely. 331 00:18:11,595 --> 00:18:15,497 Yep, we will be in touch. 332 00:18:15,566 --> 00:18:18,333 Have a good night, Sheriff. 333 00:18:18,402 --> 00:18:21,937 Deputy. Ohh, watch your step. 334 00:18:22,006 --> 00:18:23,706 Appreciate all you guys do. 335 00:18:23,775 --> 00:18:24,739 Protecting and serving. 336 00:18:24,808 --> 00:18:27,009 Your tax dollars at work, by the way. 337 00:18:27,078 --> 00:18:28,776 Like, what was that? 338 00:18:28,845 --> 00:18:31,446 That is so disturbing. Yeah, I know! 339 00:18:31,515 --> 00:18:33,582 It's like I hate it when these men in positions of power 340 00:18:33,651 --> 00:18:37,252 just believe all this, like, superstitious shit. 341 00:18:37,321 --> 00:18:39,387 I'm talking about the killing. 342 00:18:39,456 --> 00:18:40,722 There's a killer on the loose, Alex! 343 00:18:40,791 --> 00:18:43,358 Right, yes, I know about, yeah, that. 344 00:18:43,427 --> 00:18:44,659 But, you know, honestly, 345 00:18:44,728 --> 00:18:47,362 I wouldn't really worry about that, babe. 346 00:18:47,431 --> 00:18:50,332 I mean, most murders are family disputes, 347 00:18:50,401 --> 00:18:52,067 statistically speaking. 348 00:18:52,136 --> 00:18:54,069 Right? 349 00:18:54,138 --> 00:18:55,770 And if it is a serial killer, 350 00:18:55,839 --> 00:18:58,539 which, despite all the true-crime documentaries 351 00:18:58,608 --> 00:19:02,577 would have you believe, is super, super rare, 352 00:19:02,646 --> 00:19:06,514 he's probably very far away from here. 353 00:19:06,583 --> 00:19:08,483 Babe, it can't be that rare. 354 00:19:08,552 --> 00:19:10,452 There's many true-crime shows about them. 355 00:19:10,521 --> 00:19:12,354 You really need to stop watching that shit before you go to bed 356 00:19:12,423 --> 00:19:13,588 with as anxious as you are. 357 00:19:13,657 --> 00:19:16,191 Ugh, God. I have to be prepared, Alex. 358 00:19:16,260 --> 00:19:17,693 Always be prepared, right, 359 00:19:17,762 --> 00:19:20,028 my little -- my little Boy Scout. 360 00:19:20,097 --> 00:19:21,766 Come here. 361 00:19:24,835 --> 00:19:30,706 What do you say I relight that log? 362 00:19:30,775 --> 00:19:32,273 Or -- Or -- 363 00:19:32,342 --> 00:19:35,271 Or pick a different one? 364 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:38,479 The sheriff said don't. The sheriff said don't? 365 00:19:38,548 --> 00:19:41,377 The sheriff said don't, Alex. Okay, alright, listen, I'm going to ask you something. 366 00:19:41,446 --> 00:19:44,853 I'm going to ask you something. Be honest with me. 367 00:19:44,922 --> 00:19:48,757 Do you believe that that log is cursed? 368 00:19:48,826 --> 00:19:50,325 Hmm? 369 00:19:50,394 --> 00:19:52,260 I don't know what to believe. Okay? 370 00:19:52,329 --> 00:19:54,795 I-I-I think the sheriff might be watching. 371 00:19:54,864 --> 00:19:57,599 He might see the smoke. Okay, alright. Well, fuck me, then right? 372 00:19:57,668 --> 00:20:01,269 'Cause I just wanted to light a fire in a cabin 373 00:20:01,338 --> 00:20:04,640 with my girlfriend and propose to her on a bearskin rug. 374 00:20:04,709 --> 00:20:06,411 Yeah. 375 00:20:12,516 --> 00:20:14,216 You never answered me, by the way. 376 00:20:14,285 --> 00:20:15,955 Answered what? 377 00:20:19,090 --> 00:20:20,622 "Will you marry me?" 378 00:20:20,691 --> 00:20:22,524 Can we -- Can we just talk about that later? 379 00:20:22,593 --> 00:20:25,360 What does that mean? What does that mean, Zo? 380 00:20:25,429 --> 00:20:26,961 I'm just -- I mean, like, do you want to? 381 00:20:27,030 --> 00:20:28,463 Do you not want to? Do you want to think about it? 382 00:20:28,532 --> 00:20:30,265 Babe, I'm just freaked out right now! 383 00:20:30,334 --> 00:20:31,566 You're freaked out by who? 384 00:20:31,635 --> 00:20:34,035 By -- By Sheriff Bumfuck and Deputy Cletus? 385 00:20:34,104 --> 00:20:36,872 What? What? Are you -- A-Are you mad? 386 00:20:36,941 --> 00:20:40,041 No. No. No. 387 00:20:40,110 --> 00:20:41,346 No. 388 00:20:43,214 --> 00:20:44,883 I'm not. 389 00:20:48,086 --> 00:20:50,452 Babe. Yeah? 390 00:20:50,521 --> 00:20:53,656 I love you and I want to marry you. 391 00:20:53,725 --> 00:20:55,891 I do, but I'm just scared. 392 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:57,359 Okay. Okay. Okay. 393 00:20:57,428 --> 00:20:59,761 I'm -- I'm fucking scared right now. Look, I-I'm scared, too! 394 00:20:59,830 --> 00:21:01,997 It's a huge step. I know that. 395 00:21:02,066 --> 00:21:03,535 I-I-I know. 396 00:21:05,702 --> 00:21:07,836 Alex, no! It's -- It's not that. 397 00:21:07,905 --> 00:21:10,939 Okay? You're -- You're always so just happy-go-lucky. 398 00:21:11,008 --> 00:21:12,540 And -- And I have my shit. 399 00:21:12,609 --> 00:21:14,675 What if it gets worse, huh? 400 00:21:14,744 --> 00:21:17,077 What if it gets worse like my mom? 401 00:21:17,146 --> 00:21:19,648 What if I grind you down the way my mom did my dad? Okay, you're not -- you're not like your mom. 402 00:21:19,717 --> 00:21:22,750 You're not like your mother! You're nothing like your mother. 403 00:21:22,819 --> 00:21:25,220 You're not! And I'm not your dad, Zoe. 404 00:21:25,289 --> 00:21:27,089 I'm not. 405 00:21:27,158 --> 00:21:28,652 Look at me. 406 00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:29,691 Look at me. 407 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:31,730 You're not going to grind me down. 408 00:21:33,697 --> 00:21:37,066 You might -- You might polish me, huh? 409 00:21:37,135 --> 00:21:39,434 Polish each other. 410 00:21:39,503 --> 00:21:42,371 Like -- Like little diamonds. 411 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:43,671 Don't you -- Don't you just feel 412 00:21:43,740 --> 00:21:46,541 like you should be with someone happier? 413 00:21:46,610 --> 00:21:49,244 No. No. No. Wouldn't that make you happy, to be with someone happier? 414 00:21:49,313 --> 00:21:52,014 Huh? I want -- I want you. 415 00:21:52,083 --> 00:21:56,888 You big stupid, dumb, dumb idiot. 416 00:21:59,357 --> 00:22:01,090 You always know the right things to say. 417 00:22:01,159 --> 00:22:02,786 But I -- But, but, but. 418 00:22:02,855 --> 00:22:05,927 I feel cursed. 419 00:22:05,996 --> 00:22:08,396 Yes, like our friend the log in the fireplace. 420 00:22:08,465 --> 00:22:10,866 Don't joke. Don't joke about that. 421 00:22:10,935 --> 00:22:12,935 Okay. 422 00:22:13,004 --> 00:22:15,670 It's -- It's like a -- It's like, um -- 423 00:22:15,739 --> 00:22:17,072 It's like a sense of doom. 424 00:22:17,141 --> 00:22:19,541 Like I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. 425 00:22:19,610 --> 00:22:20,675 You know, like -- like, what if -- 426 00:22:20,744 --> 00:22:21,944 what if we're at a certain place 427 00:22:22,013 --> 00:22:23,378 at a certain location at a certain time 428 00:22:23,447 --> 00:22:25,981 and then a tree happens to fall on us 429 00:22:26,050 --> 00:22:27,249 and had you not been married to me, 430 00:22:27,318 --> 00:22:28,449 none of this would have happened. 431 00:22:28,518 --> 00:22:30,552 You would have never died, Alex. 432 00:22:30,621 --> 00:22:33,088 Zoe, that is so completely off the rails. 433 00:22:33,157 --> 00:22:35,089 I-I-I'm going to ask you something right now 434 00:22:35,158 --> 00:22:39,761 and I really, really don't want you to get angry at me. 435 00:22:39,830 --> 00:22:42,263 Can you promise to try? I-I'm going to try. 436 00:22:42,332 --> 00:22:45,434 But you prefaced it really strongly. Do you think... 437 00:22:45,503 --> 00:22:48,536 that maybe... 438 00:22:48,605 --> 00:22:50,542 we should up your medication? 439 00:23:05,989 --> 00:23:08,656 It's not about my meds, Alex! Okay. Alright. 440 00:23:08,725 --> 00:23:09,858 It's not about my meds. Okay. 441 00:23:09,927 --> 00:23:11,426 This -- This is who I am. 442 00:23:11,495 --> 00:23:12,960 Alright. Look, I'm sorry. 443 00:23:13,029 --> 00:23:14,730 A lot of fucked-up shit has happened to you 444 00:23:14,799 --> 00:23:16,464 in your life, babe. 445 00:23:16,533 --> 00:23:18,333 And I-I-I just want you to be happy. 446 00:23:18,402 --> 00:23:20,072 Okay? That's all I want. 447 00:23:23,273 --> 00:23:24,944 That's all I want. 448 00:23:30,348 --> 00:23:32,084 This isn't just Willow. 449 00:23:34,185 --> 00:23:35,078 Okay. 450 00:23:35,147 --> 00:23:37,752 The planet is dying, Alex. 451 00:23:37,821 --> 00:23:40,789 And I'm supposed to what? Go pick out china patterns? 452 00:23:40,858 --> 00:23:42,757 "Oh, my God! That's so pretty! 453 00:23:42,826 --> 00:23:45,965 Do you have it in lilac? Do you have it in blue?" 454 00:23:48,232 --> 00:23:52,167 How am I supposed to raise a child in this hellhole? 455 00:23:52,236 --> 00:23:54,970 Okay. Alright. 456 00:23:55,039 --> 00:23:57,004 How do you -- How do you even plan for the future 457 00:23:57,073 --> 00:23:58,606 when there is none? Alright, listen, listen! Everything -- 458 00:23:58,675 --> 00:24:00,609 How do you plan for the future when there isn't one? 459 00:24:00,678 --> 00:24:02,310 Every era of time -- Nothing matters! 460 00:24:02,379 --> 00:24:05,447 Every era of time seems shitty when you're in it, okay? 461 00:24:05,516 --> 00:24:06,914 That's just an objective point of fact. 462 00:24:06,983 --> 00:24:09,917 Everybody believes that about their era, right? 463 00:24:09,986 --> 00:24:12,287 Okay, just imagine, like, living in World War I or II. 464 00:24:12,356 --> 00:24:14,088 Oh! Ooh! Pick an era! 465 00:24:14,157 --> 00:24:16,291 As a black woman during the Civil War. Oh! As a black woman, huh? 466 00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:17,926 Don't -- Don't do that. Don't do that! Okay. 467 00:24:17,995 --> 00:24:20,095 I'm making a very cogent point right now, okay. 468 00:24:20,164 --> 00:24:22,463 Ohh. Cogent. 469 00:24:22,532 --> 00:24:23,964 I just think that we are living 470 00:24:24,033 --> 00:24:27,469 at a pretty good little pocket of time in history. 471 00:24:27,538 --> 00:24:31,640 You know, uh, comparatively speaking. 472 00:24:31,709 --> 00:24:35,377 I guess my point is that there's always going to be 473 00:24:35,446 --> 00:24:36,845 shitty aspects of life, babe. 474 00:24:36,914 --> 00:24:38,480 No matter what era you live in. 475 00:24:38,549 --> 00:24:41,549 And you just gotta -- you just gotta find the good. 476 00:24:41,618 --> 00:24:43,719 You know, you got to lean into the good. 477 00:24:43,788 --> 00:24:45,686 Babe, this time is different. 478 00:24:45,755 --> 00:24:50,358 The world is literally going to hell in a handbasket. 479 00:24:50,427 --> 00:24:52,097 I think you mean figuratively. 480 00:24:54,298 --> 00:24:58,167 Okay, yeah. Yeah, maybe you're right. 481 00:24:58,236 --> 00:24:59,234 But you know what? 482 00:24:59,303 --> 00:25:01,169 If it going to hell in a handbasket, 483 00:25:01,238 --> 00:25:04,006 I want to be in that handbasket with you. 484 00:25:04,075 --> 00:25:05,641 Me and you. In a handbasket. 485 00:25:05,710 --> 00:25:07,309 Just -- Just two guys, 486 00:25:07,378 --> 00:25:11,046 plummeting to the depths of hell in a -- in a handbasket, right? 487 00:25:11,115 --> 00:25:12,580 Assuming we can find one, I guess, 488 00:25:12,649 --> 00:25:13,948 big enough for -- for two of us. 489 00:25:14,017 --> 00:25:15,117 Although if the world is in a handbasket, 490 00:25:15,186 --> 00:25:16,685 I guess we would also be... 491 00:25:16,754 --> 00:25:18,654 Do you want to go in the hot tub? 492 00:25:21,592 --> 00:25:24,725 You were just terrified of a killer stalking in the woods, 493 00:25:24,794 --> 00:25:25,827 and now you want to go in a hot tub? 494 00:25:25,896 --> 00:25:27,895 I never said I was consistent. 495 00:25:31,603 --> 00:25:32,701 Do you hear that? 496 00:25:35,805 --> 00:25:37,339 Oh, my God, it's the killer. 497 00:25:37,408 --> 00:25:38,440 They have the code, babe. 498 00:25:38,509 --> 00:25:40,612 Uh, just -- just relax. 499 00:25:41,580 --> 00:25:42,812 Whoa. Hello? 500 00:25:42,881 --> 00:25:45,448 -Hi. -Hey. 501 00:25:45,517 --> 00:25:46,847 What can I do for you? 502 00:25:46,916 --> 00:25:49,451 We're renting the place? Who are you guys? 503 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,286 Huh. Um... 504 00:25:51,355 --> 00:25:53,622 I'm sorry, actually, we're renting the place. 505 00:25:53,691 --> 00:25:55,991 The reservation's on my phone. Hold on. 506 00:25:56,060 --> 00:25:57,760 Okay, well, I've got the reservation on mine. 507 00:25:57,829 --> 00:25:59,061 Did you guys go through Airbnb? 508 00:25:59,130 --> 00:26:00,556 No. Mountain Getaways. 509 00:26:00,625 --> 00:26:01,762 Could I actually come in and pee? 510 00:26:01,831 --> 00:26:03,131 I've just been holding it for... 511 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:04,532 Yes! You can! 'Cause we rented the place. 512 00:26:04,601 --> 00:26:06,033 -Okay. Excuse me. -No, no. 513 00:26:06,102 --> 00:26:08,069 -Yeah. Everyone in! Yeah. -No! No, no, no, no. No, No. 514 00:26:08,138 --> 00:26:09,804 Can you guys just go -- just go back outside, please? We rented the place. 515 00:26:09,873 --> 00:26:11,172 -Yeah, we did. See. Here. -No, I'm so sorry. 516 00:26:11,241 --> 00:26:12,340 -Oh, crackers. Fuck it. -Can I see yours? 517 00:26:12,409 --> 00:26:15,210 -Yeah, yeah. -Okay. 518 00:26:15,279 --> 00:26:16,706 Hey, uh, babe. 519 00:26:16,775 --> 00:26:18,513 Do you think that we should have people inside 520 00:26:18,582 --> 00:26:20,449 while there's a killer on the loose? 521 00:26:20,518 --> 00:26:22,184 Killer? Tell me more! 522 00:26:22,253 --> 00:26:24,185 Looks like we're double booked. Yeah. 523 00:26:24,254 --> 00:26:25,686 We each booked on different websites 524 00:26:25,755 --> 00:26:27,390 and it didn't reconcile or something. 525 00:26:27,459 --> 00:26:29,524 Okay, um... 526 00:26:29,593 --> 00:26:30,792 Okay, I'll just call the owner. 527 00:26:30,861 --> 00:26:32,895 Oh, yeah, I'll call the owner, too. 528 00:26:32,964 --> 00:26:34,696 It's a race. 529 00:26:34,765 --> 00:26:36,632 We all took these edibles designed to hit 530 00:26:36,701 --> 00:26:38,033 as soon as we got here, 531 00:26:38,102 --> 00:26:41,206 so I don't see us driving anywhere tonight. 532 00:26:44,075 --> 00:26:45,975 Seriously? Babe, it's gonna be fine. 533 00:26:46,044 --> 00:26:47,943 I'm sure they've got, like, tons of properties. 534 00:26:49,848 --> 00:26:51,446 Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Like -- 535 00:26:51,515 --> 00:26:53,649 Shh! 536 00:26:53,718 --> 00:26:55,951 You guy's hear that? 537 00:26:56,020 --> 00:26:59,287 It's a phone ringing. 538 00:26:59,356 --> 00:27:00,856 It's not mine. 539 00:27:03,861 --> 00:27:05,264 I hear it. 540 00:27:07,297 --> 00:27:08,667 Where is it? 541 00:27:14,338 --> 00:27:16,705 It's a cellphone underneath the couch. 542 00:27:16,774 --> 00:27:18,173 Babe, this is so fucked. Huh. 543 00:27:18,242 --> 00:27:19,709 This has to be the landlady's phone. 544 00:27:19,778 --> 00:27:21,309 Okay. Okay, yeah. 545 00:27:21,378 --> 00:27:25,441 Um, she probably just left it on accident when she was cleaning. 546 00:27:25,510 --> 00:27:26,782 Who leaves their cellphone behind? 547 00:27:26,851 --> 00:27:28,350 Babe, I'm getting scared. 548 00:27:28,419 --> 00:27:30,580 I think that we should go ahead and call the sheriff. 549 00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:32,688 You have his card. Oh, fuck, that guy? 550 00:27:32,757 --> 00:27:35,223 He sucks. 551 00:27:35,292 --> 00:27:37,292 Alright, fine, I'll just get the card. 552 00:27:37,361 --> 00:27:39,728 You just happen to have the sheriff's card? 553 00:27:39,797 --> 00:27:40,896 Yeah, that's suspect. 554 00:27:40,965 --> 00:27:42,463 Okay, it's not as weird as it sounds. 555 00:27:42,532 --> 00:27:43,698 He was up here earlier. 556 00:27:43,767 --> 00:27:45,935 He's investigating a murder or something. 557 00:27:46,004 --> 00:27:48,536 Whoa. Wait, that's perfect. 558 00:27:48,605 --> 00:27:51,106 We do a murder podcast. 559 00:27:51,175 --> 00:27:54,944 Our podcast is called "There's a Podcast in the House"! 560 00:27:57,081 --> 00:27:59,649 Have you heard of our podcast? 561 00:27:59,718 --> 00:28:01,016 Have you heard of our podcast? 562 00:28:01,085 --> 00:28:03,118 I haven't heard of your podcast! Okay. 563 00:28:03,187 --> 00:28:04,885 We're still trying to find our audience. 564 00:28:04,954 --> 00:28:06,654 But you should listen to some of the newer episodes, 565 00:28:06,723 --> 00:28:09,392 'cause some of the older ones, like, aren't so good, but -- 566 00:28:09,461 --> 00:28:10,486 Babe. Babe. 567 00:28:10,555 --> 00:28:12,627 Hey, this is a nice camera. 568 00:28:12,696 --> 00:28:15,596 What are you guys filming, a porno or something? 569 00:28:15,665 --> 00:28:20,005 No. Alex shoots yule log videos as a side hustle. 570 00:28:20,872 --> 00:28:22,337 If I left my phone behind, 571 00:28:22,406 --> 00:28:25,240 I think that I would try and go and find it immediately. 572 00:28:25,309 --> 00:28:26,869 Why didn't... 573 00:28:26,938 --> 00:28:28,443 Why didn't the landlady go and try to get her phone? 574 00:28:28,512 --> 00:28:31,541 Yo, yo, do you do that for money or, like, as a hobby? 575 00:28:31,610 --> 00:28:33,516 Because that's a genius idea. 576 00:28:33,585 --> 00:28:35,216 So easy. 577 00:28:35,285 --> 00:28:37,085 God. That's so not important right now. 578 00:28:37,154 --> 00:28:38,720 Well, it started out as a hobby, actually, 579 00:28:38,789 --> 00:28:40,722 but then I, uh, fell into monetizing it. 580 00:28:40,791 --> 00:28:41,990 Actually, last year, I, uh, 581 00:28:42,059 --> 00:28:44,126 shot a bonfire on the beach in Bali. 582 00:28:44,195 --> 00:28:46,061 It's up to like 10 million views or something. 583 00:28:46,130 --> 00:28:48,096 Okay! That's really cool. Bali, man. 584 00:28:48,165 --> 00:28:49,331 Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey. 585 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:51,100 Could you please not do that right now? 586 00:28:51,169 --> 00:28:52,701 The sheriff said not to do that. 587 00:28:52,770 --> 00:28:54,135 Okay, whoa. Okay. 588 00:28:54,204 --> 00:28:57,306 What, is it, like, illegal to burn logs or something? 589 00:29:00,872 --> 00:29:03,645 We accidentally got it from a cursed tree. 590 00:29:03,714 --> 00:29:05,581 So is that why it won't light? 591 00:29:05,650 --> 00:29:07,148 Oh! Checks out. 592 00:29:07,217 --> 00:29:09,851 No, I-I totally feel the cursed energy coming from it. 593 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:12,220 You feel the edible hitting, Henry. 594 00:29:12,289 --> 00:29:14,590 It was used to hang enslaved people. 595 00:29:14,659 --> 00:29:16,225 Whoa. We just -- 596 00:29:16,294 --> 00:29:18,494 The hanging tree. We just read about it. 597 00:29:18,563 --> 00:29:20,730 Totally! 598 00:29:20,799 --> 00:29:22,865 Is that -- Ah, fuck! 599 00:29:22,934 --> 00:29:24,266 Aw, babe! 600 00:29:24,335 --> 00:29:25,767 It's a splinter! Did you hurt yourself? 601 00:29:25,836 --> 00:29:28,003 Aw, I'm so sorry. Oof. 602 00:29:28,072 --> 00:29:29,938 We actually just did this episode recently 603 00:29:30,007 --> 00:29:32,174 about aliens in lynching photos. 604 00:29:32,243 --> 00:29:33,641 Yeah. You've seen the famous photo, right? 605 00:29:33,710 --> 00:29:35,644 It was, like, essentially viral. 606 00:29:35,713 --> 00:29:38,313 No, I-I-I don't know what you're talking about. 607 00:29:38,382 --> 00:29:42,417 It's a super-famous photo of a lynching with a huge crowd. 608 00:29:42,486 --> 00:29:44,720 And there's one dude in the crowd that looks weird. 609 00:29:44,789 --> 00:29:46,955 He has a face mask on. 610 00:29:47,024 --> 00:29:48,851 He's an alien wearing a mask. 611 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,193 And it's got a chunky wristwatch, and -- Okay. 612 00:29:52,262 --> 00:29:54,129 Uh, wristwatches weren't invented back then! 613 00:29:54,198 --> 00:29:55,230 Yeah, no, for sure, for sure. 614 00:29:55,299 --> 00:29:57,098 Like, totally plausible. Yeah. 615 00:29:57,167 --> 00:29:58,734 Like, if I was an alien that had, like, 616 00:29:58,803 --> 00:30:00,302 super-advanced technology 617 00:30:00,371 --> 00:30:02,303 and could travel like millions of light-years to get to earth, 618 00:30:02,372 --> 00:30:05,407 I just wouldn't even bother with a convincing mask. 619 00:30:05,476 --> 00:30:08,010 Hey, Alex, you're supposed to be on the phone with the sheriff. 620 00:30:08,079 --> 00:30:09,211 I'm on hold, babe. 621 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,448 I will find a picture. 622 00:30:12,517 --> 00:30:13,616 Oh, there it is. 623 00:30:13,685 --> 00:30:15,785 Decide for yourself. 624 00:30:15,854 --> 00:30:17,819 Whoa. Right, it's freaky. 625 00:30:17,888 --> 00:30:20,389 Actually, yeah, that's, uh -- yeah. 626 00:30:20,458 --> 00:30:21,423 Yeah, I take it back. 627 00:30:21,492 --> 00:30:22,924 This is actually a super-compelling photo. 628 00:30:22,993 --> 00:30:25,160 Babe, it's like this, uh, really grainy photo 629 00:30:25,229 --> 00:30:27,162 of, uh, like, a blurry guy. 630 00:30:27,231 --> 00:30:29,665 Yeah. Um, maybe he just looks like a human 631 00:30:29,734 --> 00:30:31,900 that's a little bit deformed. 632 00:30:31,969 --> 00:30:34,235 So, good job, man. Very, very sensitive. 633 00:30:34,304 --> 00:30:35,470 Honestly, the most fucked-up part of that photo 634 00:30:35,539 --> 00:30:37,005 is all the people just standing around 635 00:30:37,074 --> 00:30:38,206 yucking it up while somebody's -- 636 00:30:38,275 --> 00:30:40,709 Hey, Sheriff. Hi. This is Alex. 637 00:30:40,778 --> 00:30:41,877 Uh, you came by the cabin earlier. 638 00:30:41,946 --> 00:30:43,578 Did you want to see the photo? 639 00:30:43,647 --> 00:30:45,146 No, I don't want to see your photo. 640 00:30:45,215 --> 00:30:46,715 Just -- Just stop. Okay. 641 00:30:46,784 --> 00:30:49,151 Okay. Well, you guys know that this mountain 642 00:30:49,220 --> 00:30:51,921 was the site of a string of alien abductions 643 00:30:51,990 --> 00:30:54,457 and lynchings in the 1950s, right? 644 00:30:54,526 --> 00:30:55,390 She doesn't care. 645 00:30:55,459 --> 00:30:57,125 Yeah, but, like, Esther Dickens. 646 00:30:57,194 --> 00:30:59,294 The most famous case is Esther Dickens. 647 00:30:59,363 --> 00:31:00,729 Do you know who Esther Dickens is? 648 00:31:00,798 --> 00:31:02,097 Esther, man. Esther Dickens! 649 00:31:02,166 --> 00:31:04,366 Like, I'm going to be interviewing her grandkids. 650 00:31:04,435 --> 00:31:06,969 Yeah, for the podcast. For the podcast! 651 00:31:07,038 --> 00:31:10,806 Enough. Enough about your podcast. 652 00:31:10,875 --> 00:31:11,840 Whoa. Okay. 653 00:31:11,909 --> 00:31:13,876 The landlady is missing! 654 00:31:13,945 --> 00:31:15,844 Well, that's a pretty anti-climactic 655 00:31:15,913 --> 00:31:17,345 phone call I just had. 656 00:31:17,414 --> 00:31:19,915 Babe, what did he say? Uh, not a whole lot. 657 00:31:19,984 --> 00:31:22,617 He said to, uh, call back tomorrow 658 00:31:22,686 --> 00:31:24,854 if she doesn't show up later for her phone. 659 00:31:24,923 --> 00:31:25,921 Tomorrow? Yeah. 660 00:31:25,990 --> 00:31:27,322 Tomorrow? Okay. 661 00:31:27,391 --> 00:31:28,890 What kind of half-ass shit is that? 662 00:31:28,959 --> 00:31:31,126 There is a killer on the loose. Babe, I know. 663 00:31:31,195 --> 00:31:32,661 What -- What do you want me to say, man? 664 00:31:32,730 --> 00:31:35,230 This is -- This is small-town mountain village life. 665 00:31:35,299 --> 00:31:36,631 You know? You know what I mean? 666 00:31:36,700 --> 00:31:38,566 This is what happens in these cities, right? 667 00:31:38,635 --> 00:31:40,768 All the smart, like, upwardly mobile people, 668 00:31:40,837 --> 00:31:43,404 they move away because there's, like, shitty jobs here, 669 00:31:43,473 --> 00:31:44,835 and the ones who stick around, 670 00:31:44,904 --> 00:31:46,441 they're all just superstitious idiots. 671 00:31:46,510 --> 00:31:48,343 They believe stuff like, you know, 672 00:31:48,412 --> 00:31:50,212 the -- the weeping oak or whatever. 673 00:31:50,281 --> 00:31:51,446 Just all this superstitious shit. 674 00:31:51,515 --> 00:31:53,348 That sheriff was a fucking caricature. 675 00:31:53,417 --> 00:31:54,950 And -- And this is it. You know what I mean? 676 00:31:55,019 --> 00:31:56,051 This is -- This is what happens. 677 00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:58,921 Bang, bang. 678 00:31:58,990 --> 00:32:01,260 -Bang, bang, bang. -Oh. 679 00:32:03,127 --> 00:32:04,527 Have fun, honey. 680 00:32:12,932 --> 00:32:14,898 Rosa, that is some good cornbread! 681 00:32:14,967 --> 00:32:16,371 I'll tell you what, some people say 682 00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:19,135 you shouldn't serve cornbread with corn, but I like it. 683 00:32:19,204 --> 00:32:21,811 You could it with grits, too. That's how much I like corn. 684 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:23,612 I know that about you, Isaac. 685 00:32:23,681 --> 00:32:24,847 Mm-hmm. 686 00:32:24,916 --> 00:32:26,916 I'm glad you like my cornbread. 687 00:32:26,985 --> 00:32:28,351 Moist. 688 00:32:30,088 --> 00:32:35,357 Oh. Isaac, can I ask you for a favor? 689 00:32:35,426 --> 00:32:36,992 Of course, Rosa. What is it? 690 00:32:37,061 --> 00:32:40,963 You're going to Luthor farm Saturday. 691 00:32:41,032 --> 00:32:42,498 Yes. 692 00:32:42,567 --> 00:32:43,999 I made a quilt. 693 00:32:44,068 --> 00:32:46,268 For William. 694 00:32:46,337 --> 00:32:47,802 It is getting cold. 695 00:32:47,871 --> 00:32:50,705 And it wasn't ready when he was sold to Mr. Luthor. 696 00:32:50,774 --> 00:32:53,341 But, um, you know, he's scared of thunder. 697 00:32:53,410 --> 00:32:58,547 So now he can look at this and every day is blue skies. 698 00:32:58,616 --> 00:33:00,649 Yeah, he always was scared of thunder, that boy. 699 00:33:00,718 --> 00:33:03,151 Mm-hmm. 700 00:33:03,220 --> 00:33:04,852 That's a nice blanket, Rosa. 701 00:33:04,921 --> 00:33:07,122 I'd like to touch it but I don't want to get corn on it. 702 00:33:07,191 --> 00:33:09,558 It looks soft. 703 00:33:09,627 --> 00:33:11,293 So will you take it to him? 704 00:33:11,362 --> 00:33:14,199 And while you're there, can you see how he's doing? 705 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:19,801 Hey, uh, Rosa, will you do me a favor? 706 00:33:19,870 --> 00:33:22,137 Will you come sit next to me here by the fire? 707 00:33:22,206 --> 00:33:24,476 Pull that chair up, come sit next to me. 708 00:33:28,078 --> 00:33:29,748 What is it? 709 00:33:32,016 --> 00:33:34,583 Uh... 710 00:33:34,652 --> 00:33:35,650 Rosa, I -- 711 00:33:35,719 --> 00:33:40,522 I couldn't sell William to Mr. Luthor. 712 00:33:40,591 --> 00:33:42,090 Yes, sir. 713 00:33:42,159 --> 00:33:44,225 Now, I know we agreed on Mr. Luthor. 714 00:33:44,294 --> 00:33:47,157 But when Daddy found out, 715 00:33:47,226 --> 00:33:50,165 he said I needed to auction him to get the best price. 716 00:33:50,234 --> 00:33:52,868 He heard about it. 717 00:33:52,937 --> 00:33:54,169 Well, Mr. Luthor didn't -- 718 00:33:54,238 --> 00:33:55,670 Nah. No, Mr., uh -- 719 00:33:55,739 --> 00:33:58,707 Mr. Armfield ended up making a higher offer. 720 00:33:58,776 --> 00:34:00,042 Mr. Armfield? 721 00:34:00,111 --> 00:34:02,010 Now, Rosa, I-I got assurances 722 00:34:02,079 --> 00:34:04,213 that William would be treated well. 723 00:34:04,282 --> 00:34:06,081 But Mr. Armfield, he's a -- 724 00:34:06,150 --> 00:34:07,782 Rosa, I-I got assurances, now. 725 00:34:07,851 --> 00:34:10,151 I looked him in the eye. No, you gave me your word. 726 00:34:10,220 --> 00:34:12,420 You gave me your word he'd go to Mr. Luthor. Rosa -- 727 00:34:12,489 --> 00:34:14,456 Mr. Luthor, he's a nice man. Now, now, if Daddy hadn't... 728 00:34:14,525 --> 00:34:15,856 -Thank you. -Yeah. 729 00:34:15,925 --> 00:34:18,058 Thanks for letting us stay. Oh, no problem. 730 00:34:18,127 --> 00:34:20,896 You don't have to thank them. We're paying for it, too. 731 00:34:20,965 --> 00:34:22,163 We shouldn't have to pay anything 732 00:34:22,232 --> 00:34:23,564 'cause the host fucked up, right? 733 00:34:23,633 --> 00:34:25,134 We're going to figure it out in the morning. 734 00:34:25,203 --> 00:34:27,068 So is there any room off limits? 735 00:34:27,137 --> 00:34:28,871 Actually, our room has our luggage in it, 736 00:34:28,940 --> 00:34:30,938 so it's pretty obvious. 737 00:34:31,007 --> 00:34:35,610 And there's a room upstairs. And then there's this couch. 738 00:34:35,679 --> 00:34:37,579 Well, Beth and I will take the room upstairs. 739 00:34:37,648 --> 00:34:39,080 Uh, Henry, you cool with the couch? 740 00:34:39,149 --> 00:34:41,950 Huh? Sure. Wait. What about the basement? 741 00:34:42,019 --> 00:34:43,385 Doesn't that have a bed? 742 00:34:43,454 --> 00:34:46,020 Uh, no, it's got rat traps and cobwebs. 743 00:34:46,089 --> 00:34:49,591 Ohh, I thought it had bunks and, like, a pool table. 744 00:34:49,660 --> 00:34:52,961 No, that was the other place. This one has the hot tub. 745 00:34:53,030 --> 00:34:55,831 Holly: Speaking of which... 746 00:34:55,900 --> 00:34:57,600 let's hot tub! 747 00:34:57,669 --> 00:34:58,634 Okay! 748 00:34:58,703 --> 00:34:59,902 Whoo! 749 00:34:59,971 --> 00:35:01,403 Aw, yeah. 750 00:35:01,472 --> 00:35:02,804 You guys have fun. 751 00:35:02,873 --> 00:35:05,507 Um, excuse me? You're not gonna come? 752 00:35:05,576 --> 00:35:08,443 Uh, no. Hot tubs disgust me. What? 753 00:35:08,512 --> 00:35:10,812 Okay. You don't know what's been in there. 754 00:35:10,881 --> 00:35:13,715 I'm going to take a shower and wash off the road stank 755 00:35:13,784 --> 00:35:16,318 and Cheeto dust before the edible hits. 756 00:35:16,387 --> 00:35:17,987 Henry: You're such a grandma. 757 00:35:19,257 --> 00:35:21,222 Yeah, uh, don't smoke in the house. 758 00:35:21,291 --> 00:35:22,524 We don't want to fuck our deposit. 759 00:35:22,593 --> 00:35:25,127 Yeah. Don't smoke in our house. 760 00:35:25,196 --> 00:35:28,831 Do you two want to hot tub? 761 00:35:28,900 --> 00:35:30,633 Uh, why not? 762 00:35:33,770 --> 00:35:37,072 Actually, Alex and I are going to go unpack. 763 00:35:37,141 --> 00:35:39,440 Okay, great. 764 00:35:39,509 --> 00:35:41,777 See you later. Yeah. 765 00:35:41,846 --> 00:35:43,648 Let's go unpack, Alex. 766 00:36:15,712 --> 00:36:19,214 God! I can't be the third wheel in this. 767 00:36:19,283 --> 00:36:21,683 Come on, Henry, give us a "whoo"! 768 00:36:21,752 --> 00:36:23,919 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Come on. Whoo! 769 00:36:23,988 --> 00:36:26,116 Don't whoo shame me. 770 00:36:26,185 --> 00:36:27,655 I just don't feel comfortable 771 00:36:27,724 --> 00:36:29,491 with them in the house, babe. 772 00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:31,726 Well, I mean, I guess we could -- I don't know? 773 00:36:31,795 --> 00:36:35,197 Sleep in the car? If you wanted to do that? 774 00:36:35,266 --> 00:36:39,301 C-Can we please just pump the brakes on the doom and gloom? 775 00:37:40,097 --> 00:37:42,663 Oh, my God. Yes, you do! 776 00:37:42,732 --> 00:37:45,735 I do -- I do not just date Asian guys. 777 00:37:45,804 --> 00:37:47,803 -Yes, you do! -No, I swear! 778 00:37:47,872 --> 00:37:50,605 Oh, my God, Ryan, Kevin, Park. 779 00:37:50,674 --> 00:37:52,741 Come on, you have total Asian fever. 780 00:37:52,810 --> 00:37:55,678 No, I just like smart, ambitious guys. 781 00:37:55,747 --> 00:37:57,246 It's not a race thing. 782 00:37:57,315 --> 00:38:00,215 Yeah, but I'm not smart or ambitious. 783 00:38:00,284 --> 00:38:01,349 Yes, you are. 784 00:38:01,418 --> 00:38:04,753 So we have a Trivial Pursuit 785 00:38:04,822 --> 00:38:06,555 that looks like it's from the '90s 786 00:38:06,624 --> 00:38:09,790 and...a deck of cards. 787 00:38:09,859 --> 00:38:14,162 Oh, no, I've been burned by rental cards before. 788 00:38:14,231 --> 00:38:16,598 They're always missing that card that I need. 789 00:38:16,667 --> 00:38:18,934 -Mm. -Okay, you better count them. 790 00:38:19,003 --> 00:38:20,068 You count them. 791 00:38:22,740 --> 00:38:25,373 I'm way too stoned for this. 792 00:38:25,442 --> 00:38:26,811 I'll count them. 793 00:38:29,046 --> 00:38:30,979 Yo! 794 00:38:31,048 --> 00:38:32,982 How much do you make? 795 00:38:33,051 --> 00:38:34,016 What? 796 00:38:34,085 --> 00:38:35,951 You're not supposed to ask that, Henry! 797 00:38:36,020 --> 00:38:38,854 How much do you make doing the videos? 798 00:38:38,923 --> 00:38:41,156 Give me a range. 799 00:38:41,225 --> 00:38:42,857 Um... 800 00:38:42,926 --> 00:38:45,727 Well, it's not like top 10 YouTube influencer money, 801 00:38:45,796 --> 00:38:48,697 but, uh, you know, I-I get by. 802 00:38:48,766 --> 00:38:50,098 I also work for an ad agency. 803 00:38:50,167 --> 00:38:52,668 Oh. Ooh, that must make a lot of money. 804 00:38:52,737 --> 00:38:54,003 You know, at the ad agency, 805 00:38:54,072 --> 00:38:56,237 I sort if feel like I'm doing pure evil. 806 00:38:56,306 --> 00:39:00,409 But then Zoe helps the coral reefs, so it sorta balances out. 807 00:39:00,478 --> 00:39:01,776 Well, in addition to the podcast, 808 00:39:01,845 --> 00:39:03,512 I also do freelance photography. 809 00:39:03,581 --> 00:39:05,648 No, you don't. 810 00:39:05,717 --> 00:39:07,282 I shot Christy's wedding. 811 00:39:07,351 --> 00:39:08,951 Yeah, but she didn't pay you. 812 00:39:09,020 --> 00:39:11,820 And the podcast doesn't pay yet, either. 813 00:39:11,889 --> 00:39:13,722 He's mostly a drug dealer. 814 00:39:13,791 --> 00:39:15,558 I also went to optometry school. 815 00:39:15,627 --> 00:39:16,926 But you didn't finish. 816 00:39:16,995 --> 00:39:18,293 Yet. 817 00:39:18,362 --> 00:39:23,698 So this whole, like, alien podcast thing you guys do... 818 00:39:23,767 --> 00:39:25,667 Y'all believe that shit? Like, for real? 819 00:39:25,736 --> 00:39:29,339 Or do y'all just, like, interested in it ironically? 820 00:39:29,408 --> 00:39:30,739 70/30? 821 00:39:30,808 --> 00:39:33,303 The Esther Dickens thing is real. 822 00:39:33,372 --> 00:39:36,411 She was visited by aliens in 1956. 823 00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:38,112 Here, on this mountain. 824 00:39:38,181 --> 00:39:41,311 They probed all up in her holes and just set her free. 825 00:39:41,380 --> 00:39:42,717 A-And When she went to the doctor, 826 00:39:42,786 --> 00:39:44,586 she was like 10 pounds lighter. 827 00:39:44,655 --> 00:39:48,123 And the X-rays showed she was missing organs. 828 00:39:49,793 --> 00:39:52,194 So the aliens, they -- they -- they come all the way here 829 00:39:52,263 --> 00:39:55,030 to snatch a kidney? 830 00:39:55,099 --> 00:39:56,966 I mean, come on, man. 831 00:39:57,035 --> 00:39:58,901 You're like Neil deGrasse Tyson. 832 00:39:58,970 --> 00:40:00,736 Why? 'Cause I'm annoying? 833 00:40:00,805 --> 00:40:03,642 No! 'Cause you're smart. 834 00:40:06,877 --> 00:40:08,113 Hmm. 835 00:40:11,315 --> 00:40:13,616 Who lit the fire? 836 00:40:13,685 --> 00:40:15,984 Um, not us. 837 00:40:16,053 --> 00:40:17,552 Oh, yeah. The fire's back. 838 00:40:17,621 --> 00:40:18,754 Hey, do you guys want an edible? 839 00:40:18,823 --> 00:40:20,689 -Absolutely. -No. 840 00:40:20,758 --> 00:40:23,158 They're from Colorado. They got official packaging. 841 00:40:23,227 --> 00:40:25,360 They're not poisonous. 842 00:40:25,429 --> 00:40:26,895 We're not the killer. 843 00:40:26,964 --> 00:40:29,935 Although that is what the killer would say. 844 00:40:32,436 --> 00:40:33,535 I'm going to bed. 845 00:40:33,604 --> 00:40:35,507 Okay, I'll be in in a bit. 846 00:40:37,876 --> 00:40:39,474 Is she okay? 847 00:40:39,543 --> 00:40:40,742 Yeah, she'll be fine. 848 00:40:40,811 --> 00:40:43,779 We're just going through some...stuff. 849 00:40:43,848 --> 00:40:46,849 These edibles are very chill. 850 00:40:46,918 --> 00:40:49,051 They might chill her out. 851 00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:52,187 No, I appreciate the sentiment, but probably not. 852 00:40:52,256 --> 00:40:54,656 She's had a lot of, like, really fucked-up shit 853 00:40:54,725 --> 00:40:56,157 that's happened to her recently. 854 00:40:56,226 --> 00:40:57,626 Like what? 855 00:40:57,695 --> 00:40:59,662 You're not supposed to say that, Henry. 856 00:40:59,731 --> 00:41:02,365 It's -- It's -- It's fine. 857 00:41:02,434 --> 00:41:04,069 Um... 858 00:41:06,003 --> 00:41:09,972 You guys really can't say anything, okay? 859 00:41:10,041 --> 00:41:10,939 Okay. 860 00:41:11,008 --> 00:41:12,441 So she works for this nonprofit 861 00:41:12,510 --> 00:41:14,943 that helps the coral reefs, right? 862 00:41:15,012 --> 00:41:16,777 That's cool. Yeah, very cool. 863 00:41:16,846 --> 00:41:19,448 Wait, I thought the coral reefs were saved. 864 00:41:19,517 --> 00:41:21,050 I have, like, the suntan lotion. 865 00:41:21,119 --> 00:41:23,522 It, like, says it's safe for the reefs. 866 00:41:28,492 --> 00:41:32,027 Hey! Heeeyyyy! Hey! 867 00:41:32,096 --> 00:41:34,028 Come here! 868 00:41:34,097 --> 00:41:36,898 One night, they're having this, like, uh, auction, right. 869 00:41:36,967 --> 00:41:39,935 Lots of rich people. Lots of cash flowing. 870 00:41:40,004 --> 00:41:41,136 You know how rich people get. 871 00:41:41,205 --> 00:41:43,371 They just want to save something. 872 00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:46,569 Anyways, part of Zoe's job is to, like, handle the money, 873 00:41:46,638 --> 00:41:49,478 take it to a bank after hours, drop it off. 874 00:41:49,547 --> 00:41:51,446 So that day she had, like, her period, 875 00:41:51,515 --> 00:41:53,981 and it was, like, apparently like a heavy-flow kind of day 876 00:41:54,050 --> 00:41:57,786 and it started bleeding through her dress a little bit, 877 00:41:57,855 --> 00:42:00,155 so she asked one of her co-workers, 878 00:42:00,224 --> 00:42:02,857 a girl named Willow, if she could take the cash. 879 00:42:02,926 --> 00:42:06,461 So Willow does, and then, like, on the way to the bank, 880 00:42:06,530 --> 00:42:09,498 she gets robbed and murdered. 881 00:42:09,567 --> 00:42:10,966 Oh, shit! 882 00:42:11,035 --> 00:42:13,402 What? Yeah. Yeah. 883 00:42:13,471 --> 00:42:15,370 But -- Okay, but that's not her fault, though. 884 00:42:15,439 --> 00:42:18,306 Oh, I-I know. I know. I-I think she knows. 885 00:42:18,375 --> 00:42:20,242 Like, intellectually. 886 00:42:20,311 --> 00:42:23,278 You know, but, like, good luck explaining that to her. 887 00:42:23,347 --> 00:42:25,146 You know, I mean, she still feels like it was her fault. 888 00:42:25,215 --> 00:42:27,843 Like it was supposed to be her, right? 889 00:42:27,912 --> 00:42:30,752 She, like, bought a gun and she, like, keeps it in her purse. 890 00:42:30,821 --> 00:42:34,189 I mean, it's like in there right now. 891 00:42:34,258 --> 00:42:35,590 I really shouldn't be telling you this. 892 00:42:35,659 --> 00:42:37,493 Man, I really, really shouldn't. 893 00:42:37,562 --> 00:42:39,027 We won't say shit. 894 00:42:39,096 --> 00:42:41,831 Alright, so, like, not too long ago, 895 00:42:41,900 --> 00:42:44,934 she, like, took too many sleeping pills 896 00:42:45,003 --> 00:42:46,735 before she went to bed. 897 00:42:46,804 --> 00:42:48,070 Oh, shit. Yeah, I know. 898 00:42:48,139 --> 00:42:49,404 And she told me that it was an accident, 899 00:42:49,473 --> 00:42:50,705 and I, like, believed her. 900 00:42:50,774 --> 00:42:51,807 I believed her. That's my girlfriend. 901 00:42:51,876 --> 00:42:53,108 I love her. Yeah. 902 00:42:53,177 --> 00:42:54,509 But she, like, went to treatment, 903 00:42:54,578 --> 00:42:55,977 and that was like about a year ago. 904 00:42:56,046 --> 00:42:57,407 She's doing better. She says she's doing better. 905 00:42:57,476 --> 00:42:58,747 But I don't -- I don't know. 906 00:42:58,816 --> 00:43:00,415 Little man: Come here! 907 00:43:02,887 --> 00:43:06,116 Come here, you little scamp. 908 00:43:06,185 --> 00:43:08,724 Come on over here. 909 00:43:08,793 --> 00:43:12,293 I got something to show ya. 910 00:43:12,362 --> 00:43:14,630 Oh, get on over here. 911 00:43:14,699 --> 00:43:16,135 Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? 912 00:43:22,807 --> 00:43:25,340 Nicely done, son! 913 00:43:25,409 --> 00:43:27,542 A lot of people have trouble with that. 914 00:43:27,611 --> 00:43:30,011 They burn themselves or whatnot. 915 00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:32,284 But you got right in here. 916 00:43:43,928 --> 00:43:47,029 This is like that meme. 917 00:43:47,098 --> 00:43:47,897 What? 918 00:43:47,966 --> 00:43:50,532 That meme with the dog. 919 00:43:50,601 --> 00:43:55,031 Where he says, "This is fine." 920 00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:58,607 "This is fine." 921 00:43:58,676 --> 00:44:00,310 You know that? 922 00:44:00,379 --> 00:44:01,777 Y-Yes. 923 00:44:01,846 --> 00:44:03,845 But don't you worry. 924 00:44:03,914 --> 00:44:06,415 This is fine. 925 00:44:06,484 --> 00:44:08,153 You want a soda? 926 00:44:10,088 --> 00:44:13,358 I'll take a Dr Pepper. 927 00:44:29,140 --> 00:44:32,374 Don't you worry about them, my man. 928 00:44:32,443 --> 00:44:37,313 They have their path, and you have yours. 929 00:44:37,382 --> 00:44:39,648 Hmm. 930 00:44:39,717 --> 00:44:42,217 No Dr Pepper, 931 00:44:42,286 --> 00:44:46,822 but I got a Nurse Nutmeg. 932 00:44:46,891 --> 00:44:49,725 You ever had a Nurse Nutmeg? 933 00:44:49,794 --> 00:44:51,293 No. Ah! 934 00:44:51,362 --> 00:44:54,329 Even better than a Dr Pepper. 935 00:44:54,398 --> 00:44:56,831 Goes down easier. 936 00:44:56,900 --> 00:44:58,734 Sorta like it's easier to get an appointment 937 00:44:58,803 --> 00:45:00,636 with a nurse than a doctor. 938 00:45:14,017 --> 00:45:16,718 Just pretend to drink it. It might be poison. 939 00:45:16,787 --> 00:45:18,587 It's not poison. 940 00:45:18,656 --> 00:45:20,188 But I get it. 941 00:45:20,257 --> 00:45:22,690 Just thought you were thirsty. 942 00:45:22,759 --> 00:45:25,127 Drink it or don't drink it. 943 00:45:25,196 --> 00:45:32,196 Anyway, that is not what I wanted to show you. 944 00:46:22,787 --> 00:46:25,090 Goes into the future, too. 945 00:46:31,896 --> 00:46:34,330 Pretty neat, huh? 946 00:46:34,399 --> 00:46:35,331 Yeah. 947 00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:36,565 Really? 948 00:46:36,634 --> 00:46:38,233 You think so? 949 00:46:38,302 --> 00:46:41,270 Oh, it's so hard to surprise people these days. 950 00:46:41,339 --> 00:46:43,472 What with the Internet, all the content. 951 00:46:43,541 --> 00:46:45,174 Special effects. 952 00:46:45,243 --> 00:46:48,276 Everybody's seen everything. 953 00:46:48,345 --> 00:46:54,083 So I hear you're the screw-up of the family. 954 00:46:54,152 --> 00:46:55,150 Nah. 955 00:46:55,219 --> 00:46:57,886 Hmm... That's what I just heard. 956 00:46:57,955 --> 00:47:00,916 Sisters are two doctors. One's a surgeon? 957 00:47:00,985 --> 00:47:04,292 Yeah. But, um, my parents just want me to be happy. 958 00:47:04,361 --> 00:47:06,828 So they're happy you're a drug dealer? 959 00:47:06,897 --> 00:47:09,499 Well, they don't know that. 960 00:47:09,568 --> 00:47:11,227 I'm also a podcaster. 961 00:47:11,296 --> 00:47:13,602 Podcaster! 962 00:47:13,671 --> 00:47:14,974 Good for you. 963 00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:21,544 What if I told you I could wipe all the failures from your life? 964 00:47:21,613 --> 00:47:23,048 Wipe it clean? 965 00:47:25,016 --> 00:47:26,515 Sounds like a trap. 966 00:47:28,286 --> 00:47:30,753 Ah, you kids don't miss a thing. 967 00:47:30,822 --> 00:47:33,749 Real street smart, you kids. 968 00:47:33,818 --> 00:47:36,692 Your generation are no suckers. 969 00:47:36,761 --> 00:47:39,789 I'll tell you that. 970 00:47:39,858 --> 00:47:42,534 Do you recognize that woman there? 971 00:47:45,770 --> 00:47:47,803 Mom? That's right. 972 00:47:47,872 --> 00:47:50,338 Any guesses who she's pregnant with? 973 00:47:50,407 --> 00:47:53,041 Probably me. Or one of my sisters. 974 00:47:53,110 --> 00:47:54,910 You is the correct answer. 975 00:47:54,979 --> 00:47:56,812 She is pregnant with you. 976 00:47:56,881 --> 00:47:58,813 8 months. 977 00:47:58,882 --> 00:48:04,489 And I have a way of making your life less disappointing. 978 00:48:06,691 --> 00:48:08,958 This is a magic marker. 979 00:48:09,027 --> 00:48:12,360 Or, in this case, a magic magic marker. 980 00:48:12,429 --> 00:48:13,828 You go through that fireplace. 981 00:48:13,897 --> 00:48:18,066 And you see that piece of paper on the coffee table? 982 00:48:18,135 --> 00:48:20,602 Yeah. You write A++ 983 00:48:20,671 --> 00:48:24,106 on that piece of paper and you put it on the fridge. 984 00:48:24,175 --> 00:48:26,542 Real quiet now. Don't wake your mom up. 985 00:48:26,611 --> 00:48:28,543 You write A++, 986 00:48:28,612 --> 00:48:33,616 and that baby in her belly will be a success. 987 00:48:33,685 --> 00:48:35,851 Wh-What if she wakes up? 988 00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:37,553 That'll terrify her. 989 00:48:37,622 --> 00:48:39,454 You gotta be quiet. 990 00:48:39,523 --> 00:48:41,522 I can't make it all easy for you. 991 00:48:41,591 --> 00:48:44,959 Success requires some risk, son. 992 00:48:45,028 --> 00:48:49,898 You know, I'm starting to think that is part of your problem. 993 00:48:49,967 --> 00:48:53,203 No, I'll -- I'll -- I'll do it. 994 00:48:53,272 --> 00:48:54,974 A++. 995 00:48:58,943 --> 00:49:00,479 Okay. 996 00:50:16,387 --> 00:50:18,686 Nicely done, son. 997 00:50:18,755 --> 00:50:22,390 Your days of failure are behind you now. 998 00:50:22,459 --> 00:50:24,860 I did exactly what you said. 999 00:50:24,929 --> 00:50:26,328 A++. 1000 00:50:26,397 --> 00:50:28,330 Right on her stomach. 1001 00:50:28,399 --> 00:50:30,269 What did you say? 1002 00:50:32,871 --> 00:50:34,802 On the refrigerator, I mean. 1003 00:50:34,871 --> 00:50:38,941 I don't think you followed my instructions. 1004 00:50:39,010 --> 00:50:41,777 Uh, I-I don't know. 1005 00:50:41,846 --> 00:50:43,311 I -- 1006 00:50:43,380 --> 00:50:45,713 I think I did. A++. 1007 00:50:45,782 --> 00:50:48,845 On her stomach. No, on the refrigerator. 1008 00:50:48,914 --> 00:50:51,053 Were you high when you did it? 1009 00:50:51,122 --> 00:50:53,255 It was a magic marker. 1010 00:50:53,324 --> 00:50:56,328 That, son, is a kitchen knife. 1011 00:50:58,162 --> 00:51:00,332 It was a magic marker. 1012 00:51:02,862 --> 00:51:04,532 I'd love to argue with you 1013 00:51:04,601 --> 00:51:08,540 but I don't debate with people that don't exist. 1014 00:51:19,283 --> 00:51:22,417 Oh. Well, uh, I think Zoe's pretty lucky 1015 00:51:22,486 --> 00:51:24,720 to have a boyfriend like you. 1016 00:51:24,789 --> 00:51:27,017 Thank you. 1017 00:51:27,086 --> 00:51:28,623 And I'm pretty lucky to have you, too! 1018 00:51:28,692 --> 00:51:32,761 Aw. I'm lucky to have you, babe. 1019 00:51:32,830 --> 00:51:35,064 Ben's lucky to have you. 1020 00:51:35,133 --> 00:51:37,565 Where is Ben? Is he still showering? 1021 00:51:37,634 --> 00:51:39,168 Maybe he's masturbating. 1022 00:51:39,237 --> 00:51:40,602 Actually, I-I'm gonna go see 1023 00:51:40,671 --> 00:51:43,575 if he got sucked down the drain or something. 1024 00:51:46,639 --> 00:51:47,776 Ben is gross. 1025 00:51:47,845 --> 00:51:48,978 A little bit. 1026 00:51:57,488 --> 00:52:00,055 -What's going on? -Oh, my God, no! 1027 00:52:00,124 --> 00:52:01,490 Beth? Hey, what's going on? 1028 00:52:01,559 --> 00:52:02,757 Fuck! 1029 00:52:02,826 --> 00:52:05,661 Shit. D-Don't touch anything. No, fuck! 1030 00:52:05,730 --> 00:52:06,962 It's evidence. 1031 00:52:07,031 --> 00:52:08,196 Should we move him? 1032 00:52:08,265 --> 00:52:09,397 Should we give him mouth to mouth? 1033 00:52:09,466 --> 00:52:11,600 He doesn't even have a fucking mouth! 1034 00:52:11,669 --> 00:52:13,601 Okay, okay, okay. Where's the sheriff's card? 1035 00:52:13,670 --> 00:52:14,703 I'm going to call the sheriff. 1036 00:52:14,772 --> 00:52:17,842 No, fuck that. I'm calling 911. 1037 00:52:18,575 --> 00:52:21,242 It's the curse. You shouldn't have lit the fire! 1038 00:52:21,311 --> 00:52:23,245 Nobody lit a fucking fire! 1039 00:52:23,314 --> 00:52:25,047 Where were you when we were in the hot tub? 1040 00:52:25,116 --> 00:52:27,216 What, you think I did that shit? Somebody did. 1041 00:52:27,285 --> 00:52:28,983 Just go away. Go over there. Fuck you. 1042 00:52:29,052 --> 00:52:31,253 Woman: 911. What's your emergency? You need to come now. 1043 00:52:31,322 --> 00:52:32,888 My boyfriend, he's dead in the shower, 1044 00:52:32,957 --> 00:52:34,655 and his skull is bashed in. 1045 00:52:34,724 --> 00:52:36,425 You say bashed in. Is he still breathing? 1046 00:52:36,494 --> 00:52:39,761 Of course he's not breathing. His skull is bashed in -- 1047 00:52:44,202 --> 00:52:45,500 What the fuck! 1048 00:52:45,569 --> 00:52:48,103 Alex, it's the log! It's the fucking log! 1049 00:52:48,172 --> 00:52:49,471 No, no, no, no, no, somebody -- 1050 00:52:49,540 --> 00:52:50,771 somebody threw it and they're still here. 1051 00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:52,640 It wasn't thrown. I saw it. It just flew. 1052 00:52:52,709 --> 00:52:54,477 No, no, no, no, no, baby. No, that's impossible, okay. 1053 00:52:54,546 --> 00:52:56,044 That is impossible. 1054 00:52:56,113 --> 00:52:58,413 It wasn't thrown, Alex! 1055 00:52:58,482 --> 00:53:00,783 Either way, this log's going to burn the house down. 1056 00:53:15,066 --> 00:53:16,401 Ah, fuck! 1057 00:53:19,203 --> 00:53:20,564 No! 1058 00:53:27,677 --> 00:53:29,644 911. What's your emergency? 1059 00:53:29,713 --> 00:53:30,980 Hey, we need your help. People are murdered! 1060 00:53:31,049 --> 00:53:32,914 Don't say it's a flying log. They won't come. 1061 00:53:32,983 --> 00:53:34,683 Do you have an address? I-I-I don't know. 1062 00:53:34,752 --> 00:53:37,553 It's an Airbnb. It's -- It's Booth Mountain. 1063 00:53:37,622 --> 00:53:39,115 Booth Mountain, uh... 1064 00:53:39,184 --> 00:53:40,922 Please. There's -- There's a log. 1065 00:53:40,991 --> 00:53:42,890 It's pounding on the door! Alright. Stay calm. 1066 00:53:42,959 --> 00:53:44,692 Can you pull up the address on an app? 1067 00:53:44,761 --> 00:53:46,495 Do you have an e-mail with the address? 1068 00:53:46,564 --> 00:53:48,062 Can't you track it? 1069 00:53:48,131 --> 00:53:50,264 Baby, hey, I forwarded you that e-mail confirmation yesterday. 1070 00:53:50,333 --> 00:53:52,467 Just -- Just check your e-mail. I can't pull up the address for you 1071 00:53:52,536 --> 00:53:53,735 'cause I'm on the phone right now! 1072 00:53:53,804 --> 00:53:55,804 Please, there is a log at the door! 1073 00:53:55,873 --> 00:53:58,173 Okay, you say someone is pounding a log on your door? 1074 00:53:58,242 --> 00:53:59,707 No, no one is pounding the log! 1075 00:53:59,776 --> 00:54:02,544 The log is fucking flying by itself! 1076 00:54:02,613 --> 00:54:05,180 Oh, God. 1077 00:54:05,249 --> 00:54:06,782 It stopped. 1078 00:54:06,851 --> 00:54:08,217 Maybe it's gone. 1079 00:54:08,286 --> 00:54:09,484 Wait, wait. Okay. 1080 00:54:09,553 --> 00:54:11,119 The sheriff came by the house today. 1081 00:54:11,188 --> 00:54:13,788 And he warned us about the log. We got in trouble for it. 1082 00:54:13,857 --> 00:54:15,190 Yeah, the sheriff will know where we are! 1083 00:54:15,259 --> 00:54:16,591 You mean a police officer? 1084 00:54:16,660 --> 00:54:18,994 No, no, no, no, the sheriff and his deputy. 1085 00:54:19,063 --> 00:54:20,529 We don't have a sheriff. 1086 00:54:20,598 --> 00:54:22,530 We have a chief of police. Her name is Chief Mackies. 1087 00:54:22,599 --> 00:54:25,200 God damn it! It's a sheriff. 1088 00:54:27,271 --> 00:54:28,637 Hello? 1089 00:54:28,706 --> 00:54:29,909 Hello? 1090 00:54:32,777 --> 00:54:33,845 Zoe! 1091 00:54:34,513 --> 00:54:36,378 Arson! 1092 00:54:36,447 --> 00:54:38,248 Arson! 1093 00:54:38,317 --> 00:54:39,815 Arson! 1094 00:54:39,884 --> 00:54:41,083 Go, go, go! 1095 00:54:41,152 --> 00:54:42,818 Go, go, go. 1096 00:54:44,389 --> 00:54:45,787 No, no. 1097 00:54:45,856 --> 00:54:48,556 -What? -Trust me. Come on. 1098 00:54:48,625 --> 00:54:51,496 Come on. Come on. Come, come. 1099 00:54:53,765 --> 00:54:54,929 Okay. 1100 00:54:54,998 --> 00:54:56,831 Why did you bring us in here? We are trapped! 1101 00:54:56,900 --> 00:54:59,501 No, no, no, no, no, hey, hey, this is the best place. 1102 00:54:59,570 --> 00:55:01,331 There's no windows, look! 1103 00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:03,606 What about Holly? 1104 00:55:03,675 --> 00:55:05,640 It's going to get Holly. 1105 00:55:05,709 --> 00:55:07,642 Holly -- Holly will be fine. 1106 00:55:07,711 --> 00:55:09,612 She ran outside. She's probably at the car. 1107 00:55:11,916 --> 00:55:14,049 It's okay. No, no, no, it's okay. 1108 00:55:14,118 --> 00:55:15,717 We're going to be fine. We're going to be fine. 1109 00:55:15,786 --> 00:55:17,485 No, we're not. Shhh! 1110 00:55:17,554 --> 00:55:19,520 Keep your voice down, okay, please. 1111 00:55:19,589 --> 00:55:21,857 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 1112 00:55:21,926 --> 00:55:23,724 Do you still have your phone? 1113 00:55:23,793 --> 00:55:26,661 No, it died when I was on the phone with 911. 1114 00:55:26,730 --> 00:55:28,730 Okay, that's good. Okay, that's good, that's good. 1115 00:55:28,799 --> 00:55:30,899 No! They're not coming, Alex. 1116 00:55:30,968 --> 00:55:32,701 Of course they're coming. You hung up on them. 1117 00:55:32,770 --> 00:55:34,269 They don't know where we are. 1118 00:55:34,338 --> 00:55:35,537 Did you not hear the log? 1119 00:55:35,606 --> 00:55:38,207 It was crying! It's from hell. 1120 00:55:38,276 --> 00:55:39,674 It's not from hell, okay! 1121 00:55:39,743 --> 00:55:42,678 Some psychopath in the woods is fucking with us. 1122 00:55:42,747 --> 00:55:45,013 That's all. That's all! 1123 00:55:45,082 --> 00:55:49,245 The -- The -- The crying is prerecorded or something. 1124 00:55:49,314 --> 00:55:50,952 A-And -- And there's a drone in the wood. 1125 00:55:51,021 --> 00:55:52,654 That's how it can fly around. What? 1126 00:55:52,723 --> 00:55:55,623 No drone can do that, okay? It's a cursed log. 1127 00:55:55,692 --> 00:55:57,059 This is not some Scooby-Doo shit, okay? 1128 00:55:57,128 --> 00:55:58,560 We're gonna be safe in here for the night, okay. 1129 00:55:58,629 --> 00:56:00,963 We're gonna hide and be safe. 1130 00:56:01,032 --> 00:56:03,131 That thing's not gonna be active during the day. 1131 00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:04,599 You don't know that. 1132 00:56:04,668 --> 00:56:07,668 We had that fire going all day long and nothing happened. 1133 00:56:07,737 --> 00:56:09,838 Hmm? Nothing happened till the sun went down. 1134 00:56:09,907 --> 00:56:11,306 But did you hear what it was yelling? 1135 00:56:11,375 --> 00:56:12,808 It was yelling, "Arson, arson." 1136 00:56:12,877 --> 00:56:15,010 It's going to burn us alive. 1137 00:56:15,079 --> 00:56:17,779 Alex. Okay, okay. 1138 00:56:17,848 --> 00:56:21,817 Okay, listen, first sign of smoke comes under that door, 1139 00:56:21,886 --> 00:56:23,886 we'll make a break for it, okay? 1140 00:56:23,955 --> 00:56:25,720 Th-There -- Th-There's an axe -- 1141 00:56:25,789 --> 00:56:26,956 There's an axe on the front porch. 1142 00:56:27,025 --> 00:56:30,258 We get the axe, we get to my car, 1143 00:56:30,327 --> 00:56:33,461 we get off this mountain. 1144 00:56:33,530 --> 00:56:35,063 The sheriff was a fake sheriff. 1145 00:56:35,132 --> 00:56:37,465 When he came in, he sprinkled something on the log. 1146 00:56:37,534 --> 00:56:38,867 I-I didn't think anything of it. 1147 00:56:38,936 --> 00:56:40,568 What are you talking about? What are you -- 1148 00:56:40,637 --> 00:56:42,504 I didn't think anything of it. 1149 00:56:42,573 --> 00:56:44,072 He must be, like, in on it or something. 1150 00:56:44,141 --> 00:56:46,408 I'm sure he cast, like, an evil spell. 1151 00:56:46,477 --> 00:56:49,711 Zoe, come on. 1152 00:56:49,780 --> 00:56:51,712 You still don't believe it's a curse. 1153 00:56:51,781 --> 00:56:53,748 With all due respect, babe, no, I don't. 1154 00:56:53,817 --> 00:56:56,618 If -- If brutality against Blacks and Native Americans 1155 00:56:56,687 --> 00:56:58,887 in this country caused curses, 1156 00:56:58,956 --> 00:57:01,891 then murderous logs would be as common as fuckin' Starbucks. 1157 00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:03,925 And they aren't. They just aren't. 1158 00:57:03,994 --> 00:57:07,496 A tiny drone cannot lift a guy. 1159 00:57:07,565 --> 00:57:10,499 Fine. You know what? I hope it is a curse. 1160 00:57:10,568 --> 00:57:12,400 I do. We'll write a book. 1161 00:57:12,469 --> 00:57:14,236 A best seller. We'll be fuckin' rich. 1162 00:57:14,305 --> 00:57:15,504 Oh, my God, Alex. 1163 00:57:15,573 --> 00:57:16,672 If we survive. 1164 00:57:16,741 --> 00:57:19,441 We are going to survive. 1165 00:57:19,510 --> 00:57:21,777 This is a heavy door, babe. 1166 00:57:21,846 --> 00:57:24,079 No windows. It can't get in. 1167 00:57:24,148 --> 00:57:28,650 We're in the best place to be right now. 1168 00:57:28,719 --> 00:57:31,686 Oh, my God, my camera. 1169 00:57:31,755 --> 00:57:34,323 My camera's still downstairs. It's rolling! 1170 00:57:34,392 --> 00:57:37,359 We're gonna have evidence of this, everything that happened! 1171 00:57:37,428 --> 00:57:38,660 We'll sell it. 1172 00:57:38,729 --> 00:57:40,161 They'll make a movie out of this. 1173 00:57:40,230 --> 00:57:41,964 Who do you want to play you? We're going to die, Alex. 1174 00:57:42,033 --> 00:57:43,799 We are not going to die. We are not going to die. 1175 00:57:43,868 --> 00:57:46,068 Look at me. Look at me. 1176 00:57:46,137 --> 00:57:47,403 I love you. 1177 00:57:47,472 --> 00:57:49,871 Do you love me? 1178 00:57:49,940 --> 00:57:51,541 I'm gonna need a vocal confirmation on that, babe. 1179 00:57:51,610 --> 00:57:52,674 Yeah? Yeah? Yes. 1180 00:57:52,743 --> 00:57:53,776 Okay, good. I love you, too. 1181 00:57:53,845 --> 00:57:55,545 Do you trust me? Yes. 1182 00:57:55,614 --> 00:57:56,879 I trust you, too. 1183 00:57:56,948 --> 00:57:58,614 You're the fiercest woman I know. 1184 00:58:04,021 --> 00:58:06,020 I kinda think Chris Pratt should play me. 1185 00:58:06,089 --> 00:58:08,451 We need butts in seats, babe. We're gonna need a name. 1186 00:58:08,520 --> 00:58:11,759 Alright? This is gonna be a blockbuster. 1187 00:58:11,828 --> 00:58:14,829 So you think this is gonna be a theatrical movie? 1188 00:58:14,898 --> 00:58:18,633 Not some, like -- like, straight to Netflix -- 1189 00:58:18,702 --> 00:58:20,469 Babe, of course this is theatrical release. 1190 00:58:20,538 --> 00:58:21,603 Look -- Look around you! 1191 00:58:21,672 --> 00:58:23,571 This is not straight-to-DVD shit 1192 00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:24,974 that's happening to us in this house right now! 1193 00:58:25,043 --> 00:58:26,541 It's bad. Yeah, it's really bad. 1194 00:58:26,610 --> 00:58:28,576 It's awful. It's like the first proven example 1195 00:58:28,645 --> 00:58:30,711 of real supernatural shit. 1196 00:58:30,780 --> 00:58:34,649 This is gonna be, like, Marvel movie big. 1197 00:58:34,718 --> 00:58:37,019 Now, who do you want to play you? 1198 00:58:40,657 --> 00:58:43,358 Arson! 1199 00:58:43,427 --> 00:58:44,560 Go, go, go! 1200 00:58:46,029 --> 00:58:49,465 Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! 1201 00:59:10,955 --> 00:59:13,522 No. 1202 00:59:18,161 --> 00:59:22,164 Remember, now, say nice things to 'em. 1203 00:59:22,233 --> 00:59:24,766 Girls, they like to be complimented. 1204 00:59:24,835 --> 00:59:26,401 Zoe! Nice things. 1205 00:59:29,073 --> 00:59:30,472 Zoe! 1206 00:59:30,541 --> 00:59:31,973 Zoe! 1207 00:59:32,042 --> 00:59:33,841 Zoe! 1208 00:59:33,910 --> 00:59:38,308 I would not get in the way of my son and his date. 1209 00:59:38,377 --> 00:59:40,981 You don't wanna do that. Nope. 1210 00:59:41,050 --> 00:59:43,951 It's like getting in the way of a lion and his food. 1211 00:59:44,020 --> 00:59:48,223 Listen, um, we are all in a lot of danger. 1212 00:59:48,292 --> 00:59:52,088 This -- This house is, uh -- It's cursed. 1213 00:59:52,157 --> 00:59:53,228 I swear to God. 1214 00:59:53,297 --> 00:59:56,135 Did you see all the fucking bodies outside?! 1215 00:59:57,262 --> 00:59:58,667 We all in danger. 1216 01:00:01,873 --> 01:00:03,706 Every day is danger. 1217 01:00:03,775 --> 01:00:06,474 You been out there? 1218 01:00:06,543 --> 01:00:09,178 People batshit crazy. 1219 01:00:09,247 --> 01:00:14,349 Eenie, meenie... 1220 01:00:14,418 --> 01:00:20,556 eenie, meenie... 1221 01:00:20,625 --> 01:00:22,624 eenie... 1222 01:00:22,693 --> 01:00:25,428 Pick her. She's -- She's prettier than me! ...meenie... 1223 01:00:25,497 --> 01:00:26,862 P-Pick her. 1224 01:00:26,931 --> 01:00:29,064 She's prettier. 1225 01:00:29,133 --> 01:00:32,695 Don't pick me. No. Eenie, meenie... 1226 01:00:32,764 --> 01:00:36,171 eenie, meenie... Don't pick me, no. No. 1227 01:00:36,240 --> 01:00:39,875 ...eenie, moe. Please, no! No! 1228 01:00:39,944 --> 01:00:42,378 No! No! 1229 01:00:42,447 --> 01:00:44,313 No! No! 1230 01:00:44,382 --> 01:00:45,180 Meenie! 1231 01:00:45,249 --> 01:00:46,749 No, no, no, no, no, no! 1232 01:00:47,952 --> 01:00:49,619 No, no! God, no! 1233 01:00:49,688 --> 01:00:52,688 No! No! No! 1234 01:01:00,665 --> 01:01:02,434 What's your name? 1235 01:01:05,597 --> 01:01:07,803 You can call me Mother, honey. 1236 01:01:07,872 --> 01:01:11,807 Mother? Okay. 1237 01:01:11,876 --> 01:01:13,574 It's nice to meet you, Mother. 1238 01:01:13,643 --> 01:01:15,944 My name's Alex. Oh. 1239 01:01:16,013 --> 01:01:20,014 You're doing that thing where you befriend me. 1240 01:01:20,083 --> 01:01:24,653 So I see you as a human being instead of a victim 1241 01:01:24,722 --> 01:01:26,121 so I won't harm you. 1242 01:01:29,227 --> 01:01:31,392 Oh, well, you such a smart one. 1243 01:01:31,461 --> 01:01:33,161 No, no, no. It doesn't have to be like that, okay? 1244 01:01:33,230 --> 01:01:35,063 We can get out of here. You can let me go. 1245 01:01:35,132 --> 01:01:36,865 I can -- I can give you money. 1246 01:01:36,934 --> 01:01:38,800 I-I-I have an engagement ring, right? 1247 01:01:38,869 --> 01:01:41,102 What -- What -- What is it that you want? 1248 01:01:41,171 --> 01:01:42,805 What do you want, Mother? What do you want? 1249 01:01:42,874 --> 01:01:46,008 Well, what do I want? 1250 01:01:46,077 --> 01:01:48,476 Hoo-wee! 1251 01:01:48,545 --> 01:01:50,282 What don't I want? 1252 01:01:53,718 --> 01:01:55,017 Mind my manners. 1253 01:01:55,086 --> 01:01:59,858 Now, do you want here some of this pimento cheese? 1254 01:02:00,719 --> 01:02:03,195 I've been hogging it all. Come on. 1255 01:02:04,896 --> 01:02:06,862 Come on. Now... 1256 01:02:09,366 --> 01:02:12,300 You too high class for pimento cheese? 1257 01:02:12,369 --> 01:02:14,637 You wish it was foie gras? 1258 01:02:14,706 --> 01:02:16,304 Aah! 1259 01:02:16,373 --> 01:02:17,740 Oh, you vegan? 1260 01:02:17,809 --> 01:02:22,177 Just try pimento... cheese. 1261 01:02:28,719 --> 01:02:30,318 It's pretty good pimento cheese 1262 01:02:30,387 --> 01:02:32,821 for store-bought pimento cheese. 1263 01:02:38,930 --> 01:02:41,833 Anyway, what do I want? 1264 01:02:45,403 --> 01:02:47,669 I want a grandbaby. 1265 01:02:47,738 --> 01:02:51,543 I want my son to give me a grandbaby. 1266 01:02:52,809 --> 01:02:54,810 But you can't get a woman pregnant 1267 01:02:54,879 --> 01:02:58,714 when you keep murdering them, you know?! 1268 01:02:58,783 --> 01:03:00,781 It don't make no sense. 1269 01:03:00,850 --> 01:03:03,151 If he can just click with one of 'em, 1270 01:03:03,220 --> 01:03:05,488 we can keep her in the basement. 1271 01:03:05,557 --> 01:03:07,823 We got a nice basement. 1272 01:03:07,892 --> 01:03:10,893 Have a basement family, huh? 1273 01:03:10,962 --> 01:03:13,362 All safe, all warm. 1274 01:03:13,431 --> 01:03:16,969 If he could just click with one of 'em. 1275 01:03:19,603 --> 01:03:23,004 It's enough to make me want to adopt a Chinese baby. 1276 01:03:23,073 --> 01:03:25,911 How'd that look in church? 1277 01:03:29,347 --> 01:03:32,948 Maybe my son is gonna marry your girlfriend, huh? 1278 01:03:34,985 --> 01:03:37,653 'Cause right about now, it don't sound like 1279 01:03:37,722 --> 01:03:39,422 she wants to marry you. 1280 01:03:42,561 --> 01:03:45,927 Oh, we was listening. 1281 01:03:45,996 --> 01:03:49,298 That's how come we learned... 1282 01:03:49,367 --> 01:03:51,934 she has a little gun. 1283 01:03:52,003 --> 01:03:53,702 She got a little gun. 1284 01:04:00,745 --> 01:04:05,213 Well...mm, you know, 1285 01:04:05,282 --> 01:04:06,815 there's so many different ways 1286 01:04:06,884 --> 01:04:08,517 to meet women these days. 1287 01:04:08,586 --> 01:04:10,585 Mm-hmm. 1288 01:04:10,654 --> 01:04:13,522 I think he can meet a really nice girl. 1289 01:04:13,591 --> 01:04:16,225 A girl that likes him for him, you know? 1290 01:04:16,294 --> 01:04:19,060 Um, yeah, he can use an app. I can show him. 1291 01:04:19,129 --> 01:04:21,297 I met Zoe on Bumble. 1292 01:04:21,366 --> 01:04:23,332 Bumble? 1293 01:04:23,401 --> 01:04:24,934 That would be about right for him. 1294 01:04:25,003 --> 01:04:27,803 He's always bumbling. 1295 01:04:27,872 --> 01:04:30,705 Now... 1296 01:04:30,774 --> 01:04:33,976 sometimes, Alex, your kids will disappoint you. 1297 01:04:34,045 --> 01:04:36,111 Now, his daddy... 1298 01:04:36,180 --> 01:04:39,915 Well, his Daddy was an insulation salesman. 1299 01:04:39,984 --> 01:04:43,419 He could sell dumbbells to a drowning man. 1300 01:04:43,488 --> 01:04:45,120 Hmm. 1301 01:04:45,189 --> 01:04:48,323 My son can't sell shit on account of he's dumb. 1302 01:04:48,392 --> 01:04:50,592 No, no, no, no, there's a shortage in the trades. 1303 01:04:50,661 --> 01:04:53,495 Mm-hmm. There's a lack of good tradesman. 1304 01:04:53,564 --> 01:04:55,030 You know, heating and air, plumbing, garbagemen. 1305 01:04:55,099 --> 01:04:56,531 You know? 1306 01:04:56,600 --> 01:04:58,400 You look at guys like that, they're all over 50. 1307 01:04:58,469 --> 01:05:00,135 Right? They're all over 50! 1308 01:05:00,204 --> 01:05:02,671 'Cause kids don't want to do it anymore. 1309 01:05:02,740 --> 01:05:03,939 But it's good work! 1310 01:05:04,008 --> 01:05:05,340 It's really, really good work. 1311 01:05:05,409 --> 01:05:06,975 It pays 100 grand a year. He could do that. 1312 01:05:07,044 --> 01:05:08,877 He can get a girl and a house. 1313 01:05:08,946 --> 01:05:11,380 It's possible! 1314 01:05:11,449 --> 01:05:13,415 Would that it were so, Alex. 1315 01:05:13,484 --> 01:05:16,051 You paint a pretty picture. 100 grand. 1316 01:05:16,120 --> 01:05:17,886 It's possible, it's possible! 1317 01:05:17,955 --> 01:05:19,883 I can show you. 1318 01:05:19,952 --> 01:05:21,557 I can show you both a different way. 1319 01:05:21,626 --> 01:05:24,392 You know, you're right. 1320 01:05:24,461 --> 01:05:27,129 You're so right. I'm so glad we talking. 1321 01:05:27,198 --> 01:05:30,135 Let me -- Let me cut these ropes. 1322 01:05:31,369 --> 01:05:35,404 Let me go tell my son to stop his mess. 1323 01:05:35,473 --> 01:05:38,139 Oh, my God, God bless you, Mother. 1324 01:05:38,208 --> 01:05:41,146 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 1325 01:05:50,221 --> 01:05:53,917 You must think I'm really stupid. 1326 01:05:53,986 --> 01:05:58,293 "Oh, I bet she's just a stupid bitch," huh? 1327 01:05:58,362 --> 01:06:01,196 "your son could be a plumber!" 1328 01:06:02,534 --> 01:06:03,598 Zoe! 1329 01:06:03,667 --> 01:06:06,205 Come on, hang on, baby! We're gonna be fine! 1330 01:06:20,017 --> 01:06:22,585 I like your boobies. Mnh-mnh. 1331 01:06:28,827 --> 01:06:30,562 You wanna see my body? 1332 01:06:32,763 --> 01:06:33,762 I'm strong! 1333 01:06:33,831 --> 01:06:35,564 No! Please! No! 1334 01:06:35,633 --> 01:06:36,966 No! 1335 01:06:42,674 --> 01:06:44,840 No, no. No. 1336 01:06:44,909 --> 01:06:46,875 No! No! No! No! No! No! 1337 01:06:46,944 --> 01:06:49,645 No!! No! No! No! 1338 01:06:49,714 --> 01:06:51,146 No, no. 1339 01:06:51,215 --> 01:06:54,650 No. No. No! 1340 01:06:57,621 --> 01:07:00,625 Do you want to see my ding dong? 1341 01:07:27,518 --> 01:07:29,118 Mr. Luthor, he's a nice man! 1342 01:07:29,187 --> 01:07:30,585 Now, if daddy hadn't loaned me that money, 1343 01:07:30,654 --> 01:07:32,554 I'd have lost this place and then you all be scattered. 1344 01:07:32,623 --> 01:07:35,024 Everybody! You promised. 1345 01:07:35,093 --> 01:07:37,158 How could I justify to Daddy 1346 01:07:37,227 --> 01:07:38,593 selling your boy for less money? 1347 01:07:38,662 --> 01:07:41,696 Wha- what would I say? "I'm -- I'm fond of him"? 1348 01:07:41,765 --> 01:07:43,766 I mean, what would that sound like, Rosa? 1349 01:07:43,835 --> 01:07:45,700 Mr. Armfield is a devil. 1350 01:07:45,769 --> 01:07:47,635 And he's a businessman, too, now. 1351 01:07:47,704 --> 01:07:49,637 He's cuttin' ears off, he's cuttin' toes off. 1352 01:07:49,706 --> 01:07:51,840 Oh, my baby! My baby! Just the bad ones, Rosa! 1353 01:07:51,909 --> 01:07:53,108 It's just the bad ones! 1354 01:07:53,177 --> 01:07:54,642 If he kept doing that to all his slaves, 1355 01:07:54,711 --> 01:07:56,445 he wouldn't have much of a business now, would he? 1356 01:07:56,514 --> 01:07:59,281 You gave me your word and now all you're giving me 1357 01:07:59,350 --> 01:08:00,849 is excuses! Rosa! Shh! Shh! 1358 01:08:00,918 --> 01:08:03,584 People will hear you! Mrs. Booth is in the other room. 1359 01:08:03,653 --> 01:08:06,989 Now, take this to the cookhouse. 1360 01:08:07,058 --> 01:08:08,827 Alright? I'm -- I'm finished. 1361 01:08:10,661 --> 01:08:13,062 I wish I could done Mr. Luthor. 1362 01:08:13,131 --> 01:08:14,930 Would that it were so. 1363 01:08:14,999 --> 01:08:16,999 But your son is a good boy. 1364 01:08:17,068 --> 01:08:18,366 Your son is a good worker. 1365 01:08:18,435 --> 01:08:20,636 He's our son! 1366 01:08:20,705 --> 01:08:21,769 He's our son! 1367 01:08:21,838 --> 01:08:24,539 Our son! Our son! Our son! Our son! 1368 01:08:24,608 --> 01:08:27,843 Our son! Our son! Our son! Our son! 1369 01:08:27,912 --> 01:08:30,613 Our son! Our son! 1370 01:08:36,554 --> 01:08:40,325 Mommy, no! You're hurting me! 1371 01:08:41,325 --> 01:08:44,329 No son of mine is gonna... 1372 01:08:45,396 --> 01:08:48,531 I have nowhere to go! 1373 01:08:58,342 --> 01:09:00,643 You never loved me! 1374 01:09:17,461 --> 01:09:20,128 I'm not a sodomite! 1375 01:09:30,607 --> 01:09:34,509 Pardon my old-lady, pimento-cheese breath. 1376 01:09:34,578 --> 01:09:37,946 But then you have pimento-cheese breath, too. 1377 01:09:38,015 --> 01:09:40,382 Don't fuckin' touch me! Don't fuckin' -- Mnh! 1378 01:09:45,322 --> 01:09:48,656 Hey! Police! Help! Help! 1379 01:09:48,725 --> 01:09:50,959 We're in here! 1380 01:09:51,028 --> 01:09:53,128 We called the police! 1381 01:09:53,197 --> 01:09:55,430 Oh, you stupid fucking bitch! 1382 01:09:55,499 --> 01:09:58,629 You and Pleatherface are fucked! 1383 01:09:58,698 --> 01:10:01,536 Help! Help! 1384 01:10:01,605 --> 01:10:03,838 Help! We're in here! The killers are in here! 1385 01:10:03,907 --> 01:10:06,511 Does that look like a police car to you? 1386 01:10:09,513 --> 01:10:12,147 Arvid, we got company! 1387 01:10:17,354 --> 01:10:20,525 Oh. 1388 01:10:23,527 --> 01:10:25,695 You don't belong here. 1389 01:10:31,636 --> 01:10:33,001 Arvid! 1390 01:10:51,055 --> 01:10:52,587 Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 1391 01:10:52,656 --> 01:10:56,491 I'm not with her. My name is Alex. 1392 01:10:56,560 --> 01:10:58,460 If you have faster-than-light travel, 1393 01:10:58,529 --> 01:11:00,761 then I know that you're an advanced race 1394 01:11:00,830 --> 01:11:04,365 and you can probably understand me, okay? 1395 01:11:04,434 --> 01:11:05,934 If you have faster-than-light travel, 1396 01:11:06,003 --> 01:11:07,870 then you're -- then you're civilized! 1397 01:11:07,939 --> 01:11:10,266 Um, please just -- just release me. 1398 01:11:10,335 --> 01:11:11,806 If you have faster-than-light travel, 1399 01:11:11,875 --> 01:11:13,941 then you have empathy. You have empathy, right? 1400 01:11:14,010 --> 01:11:16,945 I-I don't want to be here. Please! Please! 1401 01:11:17,014 --> 01:11:18,681 You have faster-than-light tra-- 1402 01:11:18,750 --> 01:11:21,183 Aaaaah! 1403 01:11:21,252 --> 01:11:23,751 You're hurting me! 1404 01:11:23,820 --> 01:11:27,022 Oh, my God. That's a silver alien. 1405 01:11:27,091 --> 01:11:28,224 They're the worst ones. 1406 01:11:28,293 --> 01:11:29,786 Fuck! 1407 01:11:29,855 --> 01:11:33,128 Alex! 1408 01:11:33,197 --> 01:11:34,329 Alex! 1409 01:11:34,398 --> 01:11:36,693 Shut the fuck up. 1410 01:11:36,762 --> 01:11:38,971 Play dead. 1411 01:11:51,482 --> 01:11:54,983 No, no, no! No. 1412 01:11:55,052 --> 01:11:57,285 No. Fuck! No. 1413 01:11:59,456 --> 01:12:02,091 No, no. No, fuck! 1414 01:12:04,094 --> 01:12:06,731 No! Please! No! 1415 01:12:07,966 --> 01:12:10,933 No. No. 1416 01:12:16,074 --> 01:12:17,940 Isaac? 1417 01:12:18,009 --> 01:12:19,474 Isaac?! 1418 01:12:19,543 --> 01:12:22,844 No! Rosa, what in -- No! 1419 01:12:22,913 --> 01:12:25,548 Such a shame. She was so young. 1420 01:12:25,617 --> 01:12:26,982 She would've been so pretty 1421 01:12:27,051 --> 01:12:28,583 if she just kept that weight off. 1422 01:12:28,652 --> 01:12:30,685 I promise. It's not what it looks like! 1423 01:12:30,754 --> 01:12:32,954 I'm not a sodomite. I'm not a sodomite! 1424 01:12:33,023 --> 01:12:35,457 I'm not -- I'm not off! 1425 01:12:35,526 --> 01:12:37,493 Fuck! Oh! 1426 01:12:47,166 --> 01:12:49,199 Bang, bang. I got you! 1427 01:12:49,268 --> 01:12:51,735 Only in my shoulder. Bang! Bang! 1428 01:12:56,347 --> 01:12:58,213 What is it? 1429 01:12:58,282 --> 01:12:59,482 An old knife. 1430 01:12:59,551 --> 01:13:00,816 It's rusted. 1431 01:13:00,885 --> 01:13:04,753 Ooh, I bet that's blood. 1432 01:13:04,822 --> 01:13:07,355 I bet Indians used it to scalp a woman. 1433 01:13:07,424 --> 01:13:09,458 Indians didn't have knives, ya dope. 1434 01:13:09,527 --> 01:13:11,660 A cowboy might've used it to kill an Indian. 1435 01:13:11,729 --> 01:13:13,495 A whole mess of Indians. 1436 01:13:13,564 --> 01:13:15,030 Esther: What did I tell you boys 1437 01:13:15,099 --> 01:13:17,132 about roughhousing in the family room? 1438 01:13:17,201 --> 01:13:18,829 Sorry, Mom! 1439 01:13:18,898 --> 01:13:20,369 Go play outside. 1440 01:13:38,089 --> 01:13:40,088 Please. 1441 01:13:55,106 --> 01:13:56,372 You love me. 1442 01:13:59,010 --> 01:14:01,344 You will now touch me under. 1443 01:14:01,413 --> 01:14:04,016 Aaaah! 1444 01:14:07,385 --> 01:14:09,952 Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! 1445 01:14:34,912 --> 01:14:36,979 Alex! Oh, my God, baby! 1446 01:14:37,048 --> 01:14:39,447 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 1447 01:14:39,516 --> 01:14:40,983 Come on, baby. Come on, come on. 1448 01:14:41,052 --> 01:14:42,818 Come on. Do you hear me? 1449 01:14:42,887 --> 01:14:45,653 Zoe? Yeah. Yeah, baby, it's me. 1450 01:14:45,722 --> 01:14:47,656 We're getting the fuck out of here, you understand? 1451 01:14:47,725 --> 01:14:50,092 Everything's gonna be okay. Kill me. 1452 01:14:50,161 --> 01:14:51,726 No, no, no, no, no, do not say that. 1453 01:14:51,795 --> 01:14:53,262 I know you're still in there, baby, okay? 1454 01:14:53,331 --> 01:14:54,663 Kill me. You're just in shock. 1455 01:14:54,732 --> 01:14:56,159 You're just in shock, it's okay. 1456 01:14:56,228 --> 01:14:58,834 Just let me sleep. Aah! 1457 01:14:58,903 --> 01:15:01,103 Get up! Get up, get up, come on! 1458 01:15:01,172 --> 01:15:02,471 Get the fuck up, Alex! 1459 01:15:02,540 --> 01:15:04,005 Come on. 1460 01:15:06,044 --> 01:15:09,444 Just stay with me, okay? Yeah? 1461 01:15:09,513 --> 01:15:11,947 Let's get to the fucking car. 1462 01:15:12,016 --> 01:15:13,014 My camera. 1463 01:15:13,083 --> 01:15:14,987 Fuck your camera, babe, come on. 1464 01:15:16,353 --> 01:15:19,654 Fuck! Fuck! 1465 01:15:19,723 --> 01:15:21,892 I'm sorry I told him to pick you. 1466 01:15:22,859 --> 01:15:25,561 I'm gonna get us out of here, Willow. 1467 01:15:25,630 --> 01:15:28,331 My name is Holly. 1468 01:15:28,400 --> 01:15:31,200 Hey! 1469 01:15:31,269 --> 01:15:34,002 Hey! 1470 01:15:34,071 --> 01:15:37,606 Come here, girl. 1471 01:15:37,675 --> 01:15:39,341 Come on! 1472 01:15:39,410 --> 01:15:41,180 I won't bite. 1473 01:15:45,316 --> 01:15:47,019 Come on, girl. 1474 01:15:49,653 --> 01:15:52,288 Little farther. Mm-hmm. 1475 01:16:06,470 --> 01:16:08,604 You want something to eat? 1476 01:16:08,673 --> 01:16:10,973 You must be hungry. 1477 01:16:11,042 --> 01:16:14,342 Something to drink? I got sodas. 1478 01:16:14,411 --> 01:16:16,946 A towel to freshen up? 1479 01:16:17,015 --> 01:16:21,617 Does the number 100 million 1480 01:16:21,686 --> 01:16:23,586 mean anything to you? 1481 01:16:23,655 --> 01:16:26,121 100 million. 1482 01:16:26,190 --> 01:16:28,724 It means something to all of us. 1483 01:16:28,793 --> 01:16:31,694 Any guesses? 1484 01:16:31,763 --> 01:16:33,665 I can't move my arms. 1485 01:16:35,599 --> 01:16:38,533 That's the number of sperms 1486 01:16:38,602 --> 01:16:40,703 in the average ejaculate. 1487 01:16:40,772 --> 01:16:42,970 Crazy, huh? 1488 01:16:43,039 --> 01:16:46,374 So when you were conceived, your sperm had to beat out 1489 01:16:46,443 --> 01:16:49,078 99 million and change. 1490 01:16:49,147 --> 01:16:51,246 99 million. 1491 01:16:51,315 --> 01:16:52,414 Some odds, huh? 1492 01:16:52,483 --> 01:16:56,351 And when life is too hard for some people, 1493 01:16:56,420 --> 01:16:58,386 like yourself... 1494 01:16:58,455 --> 01:17:02,723 makes you wonder if that other 99 million and change 1495 01:17:02,792 --> 01:17:04,726 might have had a better go of it. 1496 01:17:04,795 --> 01:17:06,394 You know? 1497 01:17:06,463 --> 01:17:08,400 Come here, I wanna show you something. 1498 01:17:36,426 --> 01:17:41,061 So...here is your parents' house. 1499 01:17:41,130 --> 01:17:45,370 And this is the night you get conceived, you see? 1500 01:17:46,136 --> 01:17:48,731 In a little bit, your parents will come home, 1501 01:17:48,800 --> 01:17:53,308 stumble up those stairs, have sex and make you! 1502 01:17:53,377 --> 01:17:55,047 Isn't that something? 1503 01:17:56,875 --> 01:18:02,283 Just put this baseball on the third stair. 1504 01:18:02,352 --> 01:18:05,253 It's dark and your dad will stumble. 1505 01:18:05,322 --> 01:18:08,490 Be enough to get his balls a-jostling, 1506 01:18:08,559 --> 01:18:10,825 mix up that sperm a little. 1507 01:18:10,894 --> 01:18:13,262 Give another sperm a chance to be born. 1508 01:18:13,331 --> 01:18:15,130 You see? 1509 01:18:15,199 --> 01:18:17,466 Another sperm means another person. 1510 01:18:17,535 --> 01:18:19,667 And events will change. 1511 01:18:19,736 --> 01:18:23,171 That other person will probably have a different job, 1512 01:18:23,240 --> 01:18:26,741 causing your co-worker Willow to live. 1513 01:18:26,810 --> 01:18:29,144 And with another person, your boyfriend 1514 01:18:29,213 --> 01:18:31,880 will have a chance to find a better partner, 1515 01:18:31,949 --> 01:18:36,751 and you won't have to suffer with anxiety anymore. 1516 01:18:36,820 --> 01:18:40,155 Ahh! It's a win-win. Don't you see? 1517 01:18:40,224 --> 01:18:44,429 Now, does that sound like a plan? 1518 01:18:46,297 --> 01:18:50,002 Does that sound like a plan? 1519 01:18:51,163 --> 01:18:53,502 No. 1520 01:18:53,571 --> 01:18:55,140 No what? 1521 01:18:57,508 --> 01:19:00,610 I...want...to... 1522 01:19:00,679 --> 01:19:03,273 I want to live... 1523 01:19:03,342 --> 01:19:05,380 You want to live? 1524 01:19:05,449 --> 01:19:06,548 You have lived! 1525 01:19:06,617 --> 01:19:09,084 Been there, done that. Didn't care for it. 1526 01:19:09,153 --> 01:19:12,087 Don't you think it's time for a do-over? 1527 01:19:12,156 --> 01:19:14,384 Hmm? 1528 01:19:14,453 --> 01:19:17,997 You...are... from...Hell! 1529 01:19:21,733 --> 01:19:24,199 Now, that hurts. 1530 01:19:24,268 --> 01:19:26,734 I'm not from Hell. I'm from here. 1531 01:19:26,803 --> 01:19:29,141 Just a different time is all. 1532 01:19:30,208 --> 01:19:31,740 You know, you think you're a good person. 1533 01:19:31,809 --> 01:19:35,009 But in the future, they say you're not! 1534 01:19:35,078 --> 01:19:38,413 Don't you think I wish I was born when you were? 1535 01:19:38,482 --> 01:19:41,984 With progressive views, your cushy job. 1536 01:19:42,053 --> 01:19:44,720 In your fancy, light-filled, big-city office. 1537 01:19:44,789 --> 01:19:47,988 With air conditioning. 1538 01:19:48,057 --> 01:19:50,059 Just typing on your little keyboard all day. 1539 01:19:50,128 --> 01:19:51,494 Type, type, type. 1540 01:19:51,563 --> 01:19:54,462 With your avocado toast. 1541 01:19:54,531 --> 01:19:56,902 I've never even had an avocado. 1542 01:19:59,169 --> 01:20:02,303 Yeah, you have privilege, hmm? 1543 01:20:02,372 --> 01:20:07,479 But nobody ever talks about time privilege. 1544 01:20:08,245 --> 01:20:11,914 What will they say about you in the future, Zoe, hmm? 1545 01:20:11,983 --> 01:20:13,609 Burning your gas, 1546 01:20:13,678 --> 01:20:15,751 contributing to global warming. 1547 01:20:15,820 --> 01:20:17,719 Eating your bacon! 1548 01:20:17,788 --> 01:20:19,891 Poor little piggies. 1549 01:20:21,158 --> 01:20:25,193 Stepping over the homeless people. 1550 01:20:25,262 --> 01:20:27,562 They'll say, "Why didn't she 1551 01:20:27,631 --> 01:20:31,033 let the homeless people sleep on her couch?" 1552 01:20:31,102 --> 01:20:33,001 And then you want a do-over, 1553 01:20:33,070 --> 01:20:36,038 which I am trying to give you! 1554 01:20:36,107 --> 01:20:38,007 I'd love a do-over. 1555 01:20:38,076 --> 01:20:41,043 But I'm stuck here in this fucking fire. 1556 01:20:41,112 --> 01:20:43,245 Oh, Zoe, you found my knife. 1557 01:20:43,314 --> 01:20:45,981 I've been looking for that forever. 1558 01:20:46,050 --> 01:20:47,916 Thank you! 1559 01:20:47,985 --> 01:20:51,887 Now, do what needs to be done. 1560 01:20:51,956 --> 01:20:56,492 Put the Goddamn baseball on the stair. 1561 01:20:56,561 --> 01:20:58,994 Oh! 1562 01:20:59,063 --> 01:21:00,396 Come back here! 1563 01:21:07,038 --> 01:21:09,237 Thank you, Alex. Thank you, baby! 1564 01:21:09,306 --> 01:21:10,906 Oh, my God. I just want to sleep, babe. 1565 01:21:10,975 --> 01:21:12,975 No, no, no, no, no, no! Stay with me! 1566 01:21:13,044 --> 01:21:15,243 Stay with me, yeah? Let's get out of here. 1567 01:21:15,312 --> 01:21:17,880 Come on, come on. 1568 01:21:34,299 --> 01:21:35,498 Alex. 1569 01:21:35,567 --> 01:21:38,601 Alex, keys. 1570 01:21:38,670 --> 01:21:39,768 The kitchen. 1571 01:21:39,837 --> 01:21:42,537 Fuck! 1572 01:21:42,606 --> 01:21:44,105 I'm not going back in that fuckin' house. 1573 01:21:44,174 --> 01:21:46,678 I'll run in the woods if I have to. 1574 01:21:58,856 --> 01:21:59,988 Fat-ass bitch. 1575 01:22:01,959 --> 01:22:04,426 Get your hands off of me. 1576 01:22:04,495 --> 01:22:06,061 Stop it! 1577 01:22:06,130 --> 01:22:07,362 I don't feel right. 1578 01:22:07,431 --> 01:22:10,065 -Nothing I do makes you... -I hate you! 1579 01:22:10,134 --> 01:22:11,634 -I hate you! -This isn't working. 1580 01:22:11,703 --> 01:22:13,034 Get the fuck out! 1581 01:22:13,103 --> 01:22:16,171 I'll give you something to cry about. 1582 01:22:35,625 --> 01:22:38,427 Time to Paul Bunyan your ass, motherfucker! 1583 01:22:51,141 --> 01:22:53,376 Holy fuck. We did it! 1584 01:23:24,108 --> 01:23:26,542 No! No! 1585 01:23:51,235 --> 01:23:54,469 No, no. No, you -- You don't understand! 1586 01:23:54,538 --> 01:23:56,506 It's that fake fucking sheriff! 1587 01:23:56,575 --> 01:23:59,841 You can't leave! 1588 01:23:59,910 --> 01:24:02,410 You're important here. 1589 01:24:02,479 --> 01:24:05,481 This is the dawn of a new age of -- 1590 01:24:05,550 --> 01:24:07,783 Fuck you! 1591 01:24:07,852 --> 01:24:11,323 I can and I will! 1592 01:24:14,058 --> 01:24:15,824 Don't stop. 1593 01:24:15,893 --> 01:24:18,260 I'm not. 1594 01:24:18,329 --> 01:24:20,696 I'm not stopping until the tank is empty. 1595 01:25:06,310 --> 01:25:08,243 I love you. 1596 01:25:08,312 --> 01:25:10,579 I love you, too, baby. 1597 01:25:10,648 --> 01:25:12,681 No matter what happens next. 1598 01:25:23,294 --> 01:25:26,365 I think we should make the logo a tad bit bigger. 1599 01:25:27,331 --> 01:25:30,032 You want the logo bigger? 1600 01:25:30,101 --> 01:25:32,337 I'm kidding. I'm imitating our client. 1601 01:25:34,038 --> 01:25:35,503 I love it. 1602 01:25:35,572 --> 01:25:37,239 Hey, it's your concept and your copy. 1603 01:25:37,308 --> 01:25:40,609 I just laid it out. 1604 01:25:40,678 --> 01:25:43,078 Send it. To the client? 1605 01:25:43,147 --> 01:25:45,380 Yes to the client! 1606 01:25:45,449 --> 01:25:47,650 It's early enough, we might hear back today. 1607 01:25:47,719 --> 01:25:49,084 I hope not. 1608 01:25:49,153 --> 01:25:50,851 I just love that glorious moment 1609 01:25:50,920 --> 01:25:53,722 when you send something off and before you get the notes. 1610 01:25:53,791 --> 01:25:55,557 It's such a freeing feeling. 1611 01:25:55,626 --> 01:25:57,458 We're not getting notes. It's fucking perfect. 1612 01:25:57,527 --> 01:26:00,799 Well, just in case, maybe we should knock off early. 1613 01:26:02,333 --> 01:26:04,132 What would the boss say? I don't know. 1614 01:26:04,201 --> 01:26:06,301 Maybe you should ask the boss. 1615 01:26:06,370 --> 01:26:08,636 What do you say, boss? 1616 01:26:08,705 --> 01:26:12,641 I say we should knock off early. 1617 01:26:12,710 --> 01:26:14,379 Alright. 1618 01:26:17,948 --> 01:26:20,315 So you wanna grab a drink at the Highlander? 1619 01:26:20,384 --> 01:26:22,151 You sure we have time? You know William 1620 01:26:22,220 --> 01:26:23,751 loves to get to the Braves game early. 1621 01:26:23,820 --> 01:26:25,954 Oh, that's right! Uh, I guess 1622 01:26:26,023 --> 01:26:28,156 we'll just have to grab our celebratory drink there then. 1623 01:26:28,225 --> 01:26:30,558 Hmm. Yeah. 1624 01:26:30,627 --> 01:26:32,159 It should be feeling cooler. 1625 01:26:32,228 --> 01:26:36,665 A.C.'s pretty old, but I think I beat it into submission. 1626 01:26:36,734 --> 01:26:39,201 I feel a difference already. 1627 01:26:39,270 --> 01:26:41,436 Thanks, Arvid. No problem. 1628 01:26:41,505 --> 01:26:43,438 Traffic is gonna be hell. 1629 01:26:43,507 --> 01:26:46,041 I wish we could just teleport ourselves there. 1630 01:26:46,110 --> 01:26:48,276 Would that it were so.. 1631 01:26:48,345 --> 01:26:50,711 I think I beat it into submission. 1632 01:26:50,780 --> 01:26:52,680 We're taking William to the... Would that it were so. 1633 01:26:52,749 --> 01:26:54,515 I think I beat it into submission. 1634 01:26:54,584 --> 01:26:55,917 We're taking William to the... 1635 01:26:55,986 --> 01:26:57,052 Would that it were so. 1636 01:26:57,121 --> 01:26:59,087 I think I beat it into submission. 1637 01:26:59,156 --> 01:27:01,356 We're taking William to the... 1638 01:27:01,425 --> 01:27:02,523 Would that it were so. 1639 01:27:02,592 --> 01:27:04,793 I think I beat it into submission. 1640 01:27:04,862 --> 01:27:08,096 We're taking William to the... 1641 01:27:08,165 --> 01:27:09,330 Would that it were so. 1642 01:27:09,399 --> 01:27:11,332 We're taking William to the... 1643 01:27:11,401 --> 01:27:13,401 I'm sorry, Rosa. 1644 01:27:13,470 --> 01:27:16,071 I'm sorry for what I did. 1645 01:27:16,140 --> 01:27:17,807 I'm sorry for everything. 1646 01:27:17,876 --> 01:27:19,770 I love you, Rosa. 1647 01:27:19,839 --> 01:27:21,343 Forgive me, Rosa. 1648 01:27:21,412 --> 01:27:22,878 I'm sorry for everything. 1649 01:27:22,947 --> 01:27:26,115 I love you, Rosa. I'm sorry for what I did. 1650 01:27:26,184 --> 01:27:27,350 Sorry for all the -- 109999