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1
00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:05,380
The Simpsons.
2
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,996
Brought to you by: I.L.G.
3
00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:40,790
Selling your body's
chemicals after you die.
4
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,709
And by:
5
00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:44,961
A subsidiary of I.L.G.
6
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,296
Oh, hi.
7
00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:48,423
I didn't hear you come in.
8
00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:50,258
Welcome to my home.
9
00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:56,181
Say, did I hear some carolers?
10
00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:58,475
Rum-pa-pum-pum.
11
00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:01,561
Come, they told me...
12
00:01:01,644 --> 00:01:04,314
Hey, it's respected
private citizen.
13
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:06,149
Tom Landry.
14
00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:08,318
And South American
sensation
15
00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:11,071
shoo... shi... sha...
16
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:12,739
shoo... sha... she...
17
00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:15,325
shu... shu... boy.
18
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,035
Now, stay tuned
19
00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:20,038
for a video Christmas card
from Tupac Shakur.
20
00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:22,373
Hey, I thought
Krusty was Jewish.
21
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,751
Christmas is a time when
people of all religions
22
00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:26,753
come together to
worship Jesus Christ.
23
00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:35,470
- Boring!
- Boring!
24
00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:40,725
HELP!
25
00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:41,935
You want excitement?!
26
00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:44,270
Shove this up your stocking!
27
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:47,524
Whoa!
28
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,698
Hmm. That looks entertaining.
29
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,283
Oh yeah...
30
00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:00,537
So tell your folks:
"Buy me: Bonestorm!
31
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:02,580
Or go to hell!"
32
00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:05,625
Buy me Bonestorm
or go to hell!
33
00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:06,709
Bart!
34
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,086
Young man,
in this house
35
00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:09,796
we use a little
word called "please."
36
00:02:09,879 --> 00:02:11,589
It's the coolest
video game ever.
37
00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,091
I'm sorry, honey
38
00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:16,302
but those games cost
up to and including $70.
39
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:18,781
And they're violent and they
distract you from your schoolwork.
40
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,407
Those are all good points,
but the problem is
41
00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:22,600
they don't result
in me getting the game.
42
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:23,810
I know how you feel, Bart.
43
00:02:23,893 --> 00:02:25,186
When I was your age,
44
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:26,604
I wanted an electric
football game
45
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:27,981
more than anything
in the world.
46
00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:30,108
And my parents
bought it for me
47
00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:32,777
and it was the happiest day
of my life.
48
00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:35,697
Well, good night.
49
00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:38,283
Oh, I'll never get that game.
50
00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:40,535
Tuck-in time.
51
00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:45,206
All aboard the sleepy train
to visit Mother Goose.
52
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,959
Barty's stop is Snoozy Lane.
53
00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:51,212
To rest his sweet caboose.
54
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,298
Mom, I'm not
a little kid anymore.
55
00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:55,383
Tuck-in time is lame.
56
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:57,719
Well, if loving my kids
is lame,
57
00:02:57,802 --> 00:03:00,597
then I guess
I'm just a big lame.
58
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,224
Mom, it's lame to be proud
of being lame.
59
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:06,186
Well, life is like
a box of chocolates.
60
00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:07,687
Mom! No, Mom!
61
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,191
...what you're gonna get.
62
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,656
Ninety-nine cents!
63
00:03:20,074 --> 00:03:21,618
I want to buy a copy
of Bonestorm.
64
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,161
Here's 99 cents.
65
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:25,205
Allow me to summarize
66
00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:26,789
the proposed transaction.
67
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,167
You wish to purchase Bonestorm
for 99 cents.
68
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:32,670
Net profit to me:
Negative $59.
69
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:34,297
Oh, oh, please take my $59.
70
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:35,673
I don't want it.
71
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:36,757
It's yours.
72
00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:40,136
Seeing as we are unfamiliar
with sarcasm
73
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:43,765
I shall close the register
at this point and state
74
00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:45,767
that 99 cents
is the rental price.
75
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:48,394
Oh. Then may I please
rent it, please?
76
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:49,771
You may not.
I am all out.
77
00:03:49,854 --> 00:03:51,248
Though I do have
a surprising abundance
78
00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:53,483
of Lee Carvallo's
Putting Challenge.
79
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:02,242
Milhouse has Bonestorm!
80
00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:05,870
This is great!
81
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,997
And all I've done
is enter my name...
82
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,249
Thrillhouse.
83
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:14,212
Say, cool dude,
can I play too?
84
00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:16,798
Uh, it's only
a one-player game.
85
00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:19,342
Then how come it says
"second player score"?
86
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:21,761
Mom, Bart's swearing!
87
00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:23,388
- No, no.
- Hey. What the hell?
88
00:04:23,471 --> 00:04:25,157
- Out, right now.
- Damn it, I wasn't swearing.
89
00:04:25,181 --> 00:04:26,181
Out!
90
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:34,357
Maybe if I stand next
to the games looking sad
91
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,068
someone will feel sorry for me
and buy me one.
92
00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:50,707
Gavin, don't you
93
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,083
already have
this game?
94
00:04:52,166 --> 00:04:53,793
No, Mom, you idiot.
95
00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:56,212
I have Bloodstorm
and Bonesquad
96
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,423
and Bloodstorm II, stupid.
97
00:04:58,506 --> 00:04:59,799
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
98
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:01,301
We'll take a Bonestorm.
99
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,469
Get two. I'm not sharing
with Caitlin.
100
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:10,059
That must be the happiest kid
in the world.
101
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,352
Psst. Hey, Simpson.
102
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,104
Check this out.
103
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,649
Look what I got!
104
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,443
It's the kind I like.
105
00:05:18,526 --> 00:05:20,570
Are you guys
shoplifting?
106
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:23,072
Four-finger discount,
dude.
107
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,742
Shoplifting is
a victimless crime
108
00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:28,328
like punching someone
in the dark.
109
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:48,848
Go ahead-a, Bart.
110
00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:50,892
Take-a the Bonestorm.
111
00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:52,894
The store,
she so rich.
112
00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:54,479
She'll-a never notice.
113
00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:56,397
Duh, it's the
company's fault
114
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:58,107
for making you
want it so much.
115
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,484
Don't do it, son.
116
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:02,028
How's the game going
to help your putting?
117
00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:03,029
Just take it!
118
00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:04,030
Take it! Take it!
119
00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:05,113
Take it!
120
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,299
I'm outside.
121
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,509
I got away with it.
122
00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:25,592
I'm free.
123
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:31,224
Sir, would you open
your coat, please?
124
00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:35,228
Uh, I don't think this is
the kind of coat that opens.
125
00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:37,397
Please step back
in the store, sir.
126
00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:42,318
That boy's parents
must have made
127
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,820
some terrible mistakes.
128
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:45,279
Shut up, Mom!
129
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:53,079
Here you go, little fella.
130
00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:54,539
No, no, not for him.
131
00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:56,749
Oh... I see.
132
00:07:17,061 --> 00:07:19,063
Hi, I'm Troy McClure.
133
00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:21,732
You might remember me from
such public service videos
134
00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:24,402
as "Designated Drivers...
The Life-Saving Nerds"
135
00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:27,280
and "Phony Tornado Alarms
Reduce Readiness".
136
00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:30,241
I'm here today to give you
the skinny on shoplifting
137
00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:31,993
thereby completing
my plea bargain
138
00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:34,245
with the good people at
Foot Locker of Beverly Hills.
139
00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:37,415
Shoplifting began here
in ancient Phoenicia.
140
00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:40,334
Thieves would literally lift
the corner of a shop
141
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:43,254
in order to snatch
the sweet, sweet olives within.
142
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:45,965
Oh, Sheheqazaramesh,
will you ever learn?
143
00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:49,010
Flash forward
to ancient Babylonia...
144
00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:50,595
All right, show's over.
145
00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:52,096
E-excuse me?
146
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,931
You think you're
pretty smart, don't you?
147
00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,308
No.
148
00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:56,535
Don't smart off
to me, smart guy.
149
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:57,768
I could pay for the game.
150
00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:59,228
I'll pay for it.
151
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,606
That kind of mush
might fly at Lamps Plus
152
00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:03,441
but don't peddle it here.
153
00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:05,443
If I wanted smoke
blown up my ass
154
00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:06,879
I'd be at home
with a pack of cigarettes
155
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,571
and a short length of hose.
156
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,199
That's it, Mr. Comedian.
157
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,034
I'm calling your parents.
158
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,039
Hello, Mr. And Mrs. Simpson?
159
00:08:18,122 --> 00:08:19,957
This is Detective Don Brodka
160
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:22,168
from Try-N-Save security.
161
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:24,420
That's right, Don Brodka.
162
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,964
Your son Bart has been
caught shoplifting.
163
00:08:28,382 --> 00:08:31,844
Yeah, it's a shame,
I know, but, well...
164
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,804
try and have
a merry Christmas.
165
00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:35,431
They weren't home. Uh-huh.
166
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,975
But I left a message on
their answering machine.
167
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,101
That's right.
168
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:40,394
Um, okay.
169
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:42,188
I've really, really,
learned my lesson.
170
00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:43,481
Can I please go now?
171
00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:44,815
Yeah, get out
of my sight.
172
00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:47,068
Hey, kid.
173
00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:48,819
One more thing.
174
00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:51,072
If you ever set foot
in this store again
175
00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:53,866
you'll be spending Christmas
in Juvenile Hall.
176
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:54,950
Capice?
177
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:57,912
Well, do you understand?
178
00:08:57,995 --> 00:08:59,830
Everything except capice.
179
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,298
Lousy stinking piece of crap.
180
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,092
Got to change
that answering machine tape.
181
00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:12,593
Oh God, I got
to change that tape!
182
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,763
Got to change Maggie.
183
00:09:15,846 --> 00:09:17,390
Dear God, we got
to change Maggie!
184
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:27,525
Hmm, we didn't have a message
when we left.
185
00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:29,068
How very odd.
186
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:30,444
Hello, muddah.
187
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:33,072
Hello, faddah.
188
00:09:33,155 --> 00:09:36,492
Here I am at
Camp Granada...
189
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:40,079
Marge, is Lisa
at Camp Granada?
190
00:09:42,164 --> 00:09:43,583
Now to put this tape
191
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,918
where no one
will ever listen to it.
192
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,964
Homer, didn't
you get any milk?
193
00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:51,424
All I see is egg nog.
194
00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:53,134
'Tis the season,
Marge.
195
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:55,761
We only get 30
sweet, noggy days
196
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,471
then the government
takes it away again.
197
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:01,100
I think I'm having chest pains.
198
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:06,188
- Bart, get your suit on.
- What for?
199
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,858
We're getting our
Christmas picture taken.
200
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,359
You lucked out,
Marge, my man
201
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,987
'cause I'm in
a smiling mood today.
202
00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:15,698
Well good, so get ready
203
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:18,117
and before you know it
we'll be at the Try-N-Save.
204
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,535
Try-N-Save?
205
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,623
Oh, my teapots
are ready.
206
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:26,083
If you ever set foot
in this store again
207
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:27,668
you'll be spending
Christmas
208
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:29,003
in Juvenile Hall...
209
00:10:29,086 --> 00:10:31,213
Juvenile Hall...
Juvenile Hall...
210
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:34,967
Stand behind the yellow line!
211
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:37,094
You will now receive
your Christmas presents
212
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:40,306
donated by the Port Authority
lost and found office.
213
00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:43,142
Pass your chit to Santa
to receive your gift!
214
00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:46,145
If you do not have a chit,
you will not receive a gift.
215
00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:50,858
Wow, the March 8th
newspaper.
216
00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:53,944
Cool! A book of carpet samples.
217
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:55,988
Come on, new bike.
218
00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:00,868
Oh, a soiled wig.
219
00:11:00,951 --> 00:11:03,037
Merry Christmas
and a Happy New Year.
220
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:07,625
Bart, what's
taking so long?
221
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:09,585
If you're having that problem
with your zipper
222
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,003
I can send your father up.
223
00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:12,463
Oh, no, I'm not.
224
00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:15,758
What's the matter
with your face?
225
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:18,177
Is that a fake nose?
226
00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:19,887
Are you wearing
chin putty?
227
00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:23,140
I don't have to listen
to these wild allegations.
228
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,604
Please, Bart,
no more pranks.
229
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,022
It would mean
so much to me
230
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,857
if we could have
231
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,776
just one nice
family photo.
232
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,281
Hey!
233
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,200
I don't remember
saying that!
234
00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:45,121
Uh-oh, almost forgot
to lock the doors.
235
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,252
I hope you're going
236
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:52,920
to the Valley Vista
Try-N-Save, kid
237
00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:55,673
'cause you don't want
to come to my store.
238
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,550
Cat-feesh?
239
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:06,201
So we're just going to do this photo
and get out, right?
240
00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:07,309
Ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom.
241
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:08,769
I want to look
at the pets
242
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:10,205
and write things
on the typewriters
243
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,331
and see if the new
dictionaries are in!
244
00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:12,355
Okay.
245
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:13,899
I want to price some
flip-flops
246
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,484
and smell the new tires
247
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,337
and consult the pharmacist
for some free medical advice.
248
00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:19,613
Sure, we're going
to have a great day.
249
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,031
Ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom.
250
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:22,324
Right, Bart?
251
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:23,576
Bart?
252
00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:24,659
What's wrong, honey?
253
00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:29,206
Somebody's
got tired little legs.
254
00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:38,174
Mmm, wonder where
the flip-flops are...
255
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:39,258
Menswear?
256
00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:40,801
Maybe it's sporting goods?
257
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,261
Wait, no, sleepwear.
258
00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:44,597
Oh, probably, better living.
259
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,394
Oh, Homie,
look at that watch.
260
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:52,813
I've always wanted
a watch like that.
261
00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:57,485
Well, maybe someone
will give you one for Christmas.
262
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,111
Now she'll really be surprised
263
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:01,113
when she opens
that ironing board cover.
264
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:08,662
Pfft, must have been
a pretty slow century.
265
00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:14,585
The store detective!
266
00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:16,378
Hey, Ansel Adams,
let's go!
267
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:17,755
Take the photo!
268
00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:19,548
Wait, wait! I don't want
Maggie's face
269
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,051
hidden behind
that pacifier!
270
00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:25,471
Don't worry, mama.
271
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:26,834
I can put a smile
on baby's face.
272
00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:28,015
Okay, sugarplum
273
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:31,602
it's time to meet
Mr. Funny-voice.
274
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:33,103
Hello, aluh...
275
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:34,688
Oh, it's just air.
276
00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:38,317
Well, come on.
Hurry up.
277
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,277
Okay, people.
One, two, three.
278
00:13:42,446 --> 00:13:44,073
I thought I told you:
279
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,325
No returns for
busted merchandise.
280
00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:47,993
What are you doing to my son?
281
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:51,080
I'm afraid your son
broke the 11th commandment.
282
00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:52,915
Thou shalt not steal.
283
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:54,416
That's crazy.
284
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,417
Bart's not
a shoplifter.
285
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:56,961
He's just a little boy.
286
00:13:57,044 --> 00:13:59,421
Oh, sure, now he's
just a little boy
287
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,090
stealing little toys.
288
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,425
But someday he'll
be a grown man
289
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,470
stealing stadiums
and... quarries.
290
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,097
My son may not
be perfect
291
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,724
but I know in my heart
he's not a shoplifter.
292
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:14,311
Fine! Play the tape.
293
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:16,814
Then everyone can see
you've got the wrong boy.
294
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:19,525
Wait!
295
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:21,235
Mom, I don't want
you to see this.
296
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:24,113
I did it.
297
00:14:28,325 --> 00:14:31,537
Bart, I wouldn't have
expected this even from you!
298
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:33,330
My son's a thief.
299
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:35,207
Oh, Bart.
300
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,882
Stealing?! How could you?!
301
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,967
Haven't you learned
anything from that guy
302
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:48,429
who gives those sermons at church...
Captain what's-his-name?
303
00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:50,973
We live in a
society of laws!
304
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,349
Why do you
think I took you
305
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:54,101
to all those Police
Academy movies?
306
00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:55,561
For fun?!
307
00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:57,521
Well, I didn't hear
anybody laughing!
308
00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:58,981
Did you?!
309
00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:01,442
Except at that guy
who made sound effects.
310
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,280
Honk, honk!
311
00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:11,160
Where was I?
312
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:13,329
Oh, yeah.
Stay out of my booze.
313
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:17,124
Mom, I'm really sorry.
314
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:18,500
I know you are.
315
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,336
Is there anything
I can do?
316
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,338
I don't know.
317
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:24,548
Why don't you
go to bed?
318
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:25,925
Okay.
319
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:38,354
Man, I thought Mom was going
to scream me stupid.
320
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:40,022
She didn't even
raise her voice.
321
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:42,524
I admit I haven't known
Mom as long as you have
322
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,360
but I know when
she's really upset.
323
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:45,629
Her heart won't
just wipe clean
324
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:47,488
like this bathroom
counter top.
325
00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:49,198
It absorbs everything
that touches it
326
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:52,368
like this bathroom rug.
327
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:54,370
Really? You think
this might be
328
00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:56,872
one of those
forever-type things?
329
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,540
I don't know.
330
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:04,046
Lisa's on the sleepy train.
331
00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:06,382
To rest her weary head.
332
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:08,884
Her ticket is a candy cane.
333
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,470
Made out of gingerbread.
334
00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:13,555
Good night, Mom.
335
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,391
Good night,
sweetheart.
336
00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:18,477
Oh, great.
337
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:21,397
The tuck-in express
is right on time.
338
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:24,358
Good night.
339
00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:30,990
I figured out
the boy's punishment.
340
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:32,574
First, he's grounded.
341
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:35,035
No leaving the house,
not even for school.
342
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:36,620
Second, no eggnog.
343
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,956
In fact, no nog period.
344
00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:42,167
And third, absolutely
no stealing for three months.
345
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:43,836
I always thought
I understood
346
00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:45,087
my special little guy
347
00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:46,463
but somewhere
along the road
348
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,257
his hand slipped away
349
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:49,425
from mine.
350
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,427
Ah, what are you gonna do?
351
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:57,516
He's not my little
baby anymore.
352
00:16:57,599 --> 00:17:00,269
Maybe I mother him too much.
353
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:15,492
Hey, Mom, you
didn't wake me up.
354
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,828
Here's your
hot chocolate.
355
00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:20,122
You didn't put
my marshmallow in.
356
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:22,624
I think you're old enough
to do it yourself now.
357
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:25,419
Okay. I can handle that.
358
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:34,136
Hey!
359
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:35,763
Give me a slice.
360
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:39,641
Milhouse, do you ever worry
361
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,144
that your Mom
might stop loving you?
362
00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:44,271
What? I'm more worried
about piranhas.
363
00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:46,231
Did you see that movie
364
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:48,555
where they sent a nuclear submarine
to fight the piranhas
365
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,444
and one of them swims
right down the periscope
366
00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:52,488
and bites the guy in the eye,
and he goes:
367
00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:56,158
And that old lady
told him it would happen?!
368
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,994
Yeah. That was pretty good.
369
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,388
How come you're not
playing Bonestorm?
370
00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,122
Ah, it got boring.
371
00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:03,957
I'm really into
this cup and ball now.
372
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:06,835
Whoa! Wow! Whoa-ho-ho!
373
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,170
Man, you never know
374
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:11,298
which way this crazy
ball's going to go.
375
00:18:11,381 --> 00:18:12,650
Yeah, right. You're just
trying to trick me
376
00:18:12,674 --> 00:18:13,592
because you don't
want me playing
377
00:18:13,675 --> 00:18:14,968
with your video game.
378
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:17,429
Here. Go ahead.
379
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,056
No. Let me try
the cup and ball.
380
00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:20,349
Get your own!
381
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:22,017
Come on, don't be
a cup-and-ball hog.
382
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,519
Hey, give it!
That's my...
383
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:24,788
Milhouse, come on!
Give me the cup and ball.
384
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:26,105
Cup and ball hog!
Oink, oink!
385
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:28,982
Mom! Bart's smoking!
386
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:30,192
All right. Out, out.
387
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:31,401
Go, go, go, go.
388
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:32,820
Miss Milhouse, what are
you...
389
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:33,904
Okay, okay, okay.
390
00:18:33,987 --> 00:18:35,364
I won't bug Milhouse
391
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:38,075
but, well...
Mrs. Van Houten
392
00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:40,577
this is going to
sound kind of dumb
393
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:44,790
but can I hang out with you
while you do Mom stuff?
394
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:53,298
Who are Dan
and Sherry Adler?
395
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:54,466
Just friends of ours.
396
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,802
Oh. And who is Warren Burke?
397
00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,846
Oh, he used to tune our piano
398
00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:00,806
before we got rid of it.
399
00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:02,683
He grew up
in Mechanicsburg.
400
00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:05,352
Oh, really?
401
00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:07,104
Tell me I'm good.
402
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,317
Oh, hey, that's Mom!
403
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:14,069
She's happy again.
404
00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:18,949
You guys made a snowman family?
405
00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:20,492
Check it out, boy.
406
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:23,829
It's like looking
into a living snow mirror.
407
00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:25,581
Why didn't you
wait for me?
408
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,249
I didn't think
you'd mind.
409
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:30,335
I figured you were getting
a little too old for this.
410
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:31,336
But you can still make one.
411
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:32,337
There's some snow left
412
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:34,006
under the car.
413
00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:51,982
Stupid family.
414
00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:53,525
Hey, Simpson.
415
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:55,986
Look what I swiped
from Try-N-Save.
416
00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:59,072
It's a replacement tire
for a wheelbarrow.
417
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,575
I knew you'd like it.
418
00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:08,081
Everybody thinks
I'm the black sheep.
419
00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:11,168
Well, I'll show them
what a black sheep can do.
420
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:17,633
Mom...
421
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:20,219
this fake snow
is making me dizzy.
422
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:21,720
We're almost finished.
423
00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:24,473
There's just a
little bit of green left.
424
00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:27,601
There you are.
425
00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:29,978
You can help me
spray the cookies.
426
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,563
Are you hiding something?
427
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:33,523
What do you have
under your jacket?
428
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:34,524
Nothing.
429
00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:35,776
Oh, Bart. Not again!
430
00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:36,985
Give it to me.
431
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:38,528
I told you,
I don't have anything.
432
00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:40,530
You can't hide from me
in this house, Bart.
433
00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:43,992
I spend 23 hours
a day here.
434
00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:48,580
Get him, Ma.
435
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:51,166
There's no place
left to run, Bart.
436
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,292
Hand it over.
437
00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:55,379
Oh, Bart.
438
00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:58,090
I can't believe you did this.
439
00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:01,635
I wanted to surprise you
for Christmas.
440
00:21:01,718 --> 00:21:06,265
Oh, sweetie, this is the best
present a mother could get!
441
00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:11,478
I love you so much!
442
00:21:11,561 --> 00:21:13,313
My little bitty Barty!
443
00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:16,275
Mom!
444
00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:22,447
Since I got
my present early
445
00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,700
I think you should get
yours early too.
446
00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:26,285
Bart got a present early?!
447
00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:28,537
Then I should get a present early!
I want a present!
448
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:29,746
Lisa, you have to wait.
449
00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:33,959
Okay. This is
the worst Christmas ever.
450
00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:35,836
Now I know you
love video games
451
00:21:35,919 --> 00:21:39,214
and I asked the clerk
which is the one every boy wants.
452
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:40,298
You got me...
453
00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:47,347
Oh... yeah!
454
00:21:48,890 --> 00:21:50,559
Thanks, Mom!
455
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:04,489
Welcome
to Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge.
456
00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:05,907
I am Carvallo.
457
00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:07,534
Now, choose a club.
458
00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:10,620
You have chosen a three wood.
459
00:22:10,704 --> 00:22:12,497
May I suggest a putter?
460
00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:14,791
Three wood.
461
00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:17,085
Now, enter the force
of your swing.
462
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:19,504
I suggest feather touch.
463
00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:22,632
You have entered "power drive."
464
00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:26,011
Now, push 7-8-7 to swing.
465
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,812
Ball is in parking lot.
466
00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:38,565
Would you like to play again?
467
00:22:38,648 --> 00:22:40,859
You have selected "no."
468
00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:49,284
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