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The whole story, like many other stories,
starts in Vama Veche.

That's when we met, when we truly became
friends - me, Dana, and Corina.

If he cheats on me, you must tell me.

I swear, the first time I have sex,
I'll call you.

Swear that when I get married,

we'll have
the bachelorette party here, in Vama.

- I swear, I swear!
- I swear, I swear!

No, it's the only possible option.
Now!

Only if the bride agrees.

Hi, Pauly.

Could you make me a coffee, please?

Why are we meeting so early?

Sadly, I don't think
we'll make it to your wedding.

What do you mean?

We won't recover in time after
the bachelorette party in Vama Veche.

What party?
What Vama Veche?

What party? What Vama Veche? The oath!
Have you forgotten?

What oath?
I thought it was no longer valid.

So what about Victor?
What do I tell him?

And what about Octav?

We're going to Vama.
I'll take care of everything.

And your child, what will you do with him?

I'll leave him with the nanny.

- The coffee's here.
- Thanks.

Your curls look gorgeous this morning.

Did you work hard on them?

Cut the affectation;
we're taking you with us.

Hi, I'm Eva. We'll get to know each other
along the way.

The thing is, I'm about to marry Victor.

Remember: Victor.

You'll recognize him at the right moment.

But first, to understand the effects
in the end, you must know the cause.

In my story, because it's about people
and their souls,

many of you might find yourselves in it.

Not because of superheroes, superwomen,
or fantastic super-aliens,

but simply because, in the end,
we all somehow end up as

loosers lost in successful people.

Shit!

She's coming!

Have the results arrived?

I've been waiting all morning,
but they haven't arrived yet.

I checked the website, called the clinic,
used the app,

but I'm sure everything will be fine.

What's your problem with the honking?
What's your problem?

Do you think I'm standing here
for pleasure?

Look, you have some buttons there.
If you press the right one, it'll start.

What's your problem with the honking?
What's your problem?

- I thought you were on the phone.
- Do you see a phone in my hand?

The car stopped,
and I can't get it to start.

Then start it.

As a psychologist,
I try to save the family unit

with the help of the Chinese gong.

Corina is a dentist trying to quit smoking
with the help of nicotine gum.

That's why she's chewing non-stop.
Forgive her!

Dana is the CEO of Smart Advertising

and is trying to find happiness
at any cost.

I rented the entire guesthouse
just as you asked;

it's all at your disposal, adults only.

Anything else?

Thank you!

I went on the guesthouse website
and checked out the yoga instructors,

and they're drop-dead gorgeous
sexy motherfuckers…

- Aphrodite.
- Okay, Aphrodite, if you insist.

What were you saying about
the yoga instructors?

Drop-dead gorgeous.

I told him - I want to have a child.

We'll talk about this child thing again,
you know.

I mean, if we go with his plan and
he gets a vasectomy, which is a flaw,

he could still get me pregnant,
which would be a plus, right?

Your time is up.

Dana met her estranged father,
who had divorced her mother

and was desperately
seeking reconciliation.

I heard you went to Eva's office.

Explain that to me.

Dana, you're my only child.

Let me tell you my side.

- Please, understand.
- Understand what?

That you've always been a narcissist?

Someone who left mom and hooked up
with a flight attendant,

probably the granny
of the one you're with now?

Are we doing this again?
Your mother never let me tell you.

Mom was a saint who raised me
while you didn't give a damn.

- And you were chasing girls around Soho.
- Listen to me, it wasn't like that?

No, that's exactly how it was!

The gentlemen is paying
because he's loaded.

Guess what?
He's got a girlfriend younger than me.

Boss, that's on the house.

Tell me, what drives these young girls?

If not money, then what the hell
drives them?

I just don't get it.

I have to tell you a secret.

Not Victor, the one I'm about to marry,
but Matei. Matei was my great love.

The madness and the passion, we grew up
together, he was my first man,

and I thought he'd be the last one,
until he vanished from my life suddenly,

without any explanation,
like in the worst movie possible.

I searched for him,
but I couldn't find him.

I denied it, I was angry, I blamed myself,
I fell into depression.

But eventually, I accepted it.

- Good day, doctor.
- Good day!

Are you alone? Has everyone left?

What are you doing?

What happened with the tenure?

Forget the tenure, I want to show you
the fabulous project I worked on today.

Check this out!

Did you get the rings?

Wait a second.
Take it out.

Read inside.

It's beautiful!

You thought of everything.

I thought of everything,
especially now since I got tenure.

- I don't know how to tell you.
- You got it?

Of course, I'm at another level;
I even wore my Iron Maiden T-shirt.

- Come on, please.
- All the girls are going to love you.

I felt ready to move forward with Victor.

How naive I was.

- How does it feel?
- Ow! It hurts.

What? How can it hurt?
It's not supposed to hurt.

I know what I did. You're just scared.

I think my blood pressure went up.

Come on, Mr. Stancu, you know I have
a gentle hand. Let's see.

Oh my, I'm so sorry.

- It's nothing.
- It's clear I'm having a bad day.

I have a phobia of that sound from…

I understand.
Are you alright?

I don't like that you leave me tilted back
in the chair like this.

My nose is stuffed, and I can't breathe.

Let's see.
Now, I want you to open your mouth wide,

open wide, wide.

Oh my! Did you eat garlic?

No! Yesterday.

Rinse, please.

But why do you feel this way?
Did you drink alcohol before coming?

Out of fear.

Yes?

Good afternoon.

How's mommy's little baby doing?

We don't have a nanny
for the weekend.

- Phew!
- I know.

Dana, I have a problem; I don't have
a nanny for the weekend.

No way! My mother-in-law can't come
to our house.

No way!

Do you want her to turn my son
into what she made out of her own son?

What's your problem with my mom?

Lunch is served - Chinese food.

No, Octav can't manage on his own.

No! I look at him, and he's a wreck;
he can't manage.

He's finished, of course he's finished,
and mommy's not giving any snuggles,

any lovey-dovey.

Alright, I don't know, I'll find
a solution. Bye, he's asleep now. Bye!

Mr. Stancu?

Mr. Stancu?

You see me more beautiful
than I know myself

You make me feel
like I'm the center of the world

And you pamper me, pamper me,
pamper me with sweet words.

My heart doesn't want to be lied to,
doesn't want to be forgotten.

Oh, my, singing made me so hungry.

- Can't wait till we get there!
- Me too! I'm drooling…

Thinking about those yoga guys.

Oh gosh! You're crazy…
still thinking about…

About what?

- Still about… it's on your mind.
- About what?

Come on, say that word that starts with P.
Say it!

- Say it!
- Just once, quickly.

You're still such a prude.

Surprise!

Wow!
It's beautiful!

What Vama is this?
I don't understand anything anymore.

So glad we came!
Thank you!

I told you it was awesome, right?
It's amazing!

But there's still no one here;
I'm starving!

- Starving woman!
- If I'm starving, I'm starving.

- What can I do? Hello?
- Coming right away!

- Is someone here?
- Coming right away.

You?

You?

Life has a very British sense of humor
sometimes.

Sweetheart, why did you freeze?
Did you arrive early?

Hey! Welcome!

But where are the others?

- We're the others.
- You're the whole Smart Advertising team?

- My wife, Nadia.
- Wife?

- Yes, and this is Kiran.
- Kiran?

Yes.
Ray of light.

- In Hindu.
- In Hindu.

And suddenly, I faint.

- Easy, hold on!
- What's wrong with her?

Get your hand off her, don't touch her.

- I'll hold her; she has low calcium.
- What's wrong with her?

Oh! Calcium!

Hey!

Wait!
Move that away; you're taking all her air!

Eva!
Eva, try, try to wake up.

Hey, let me be, I'm the doctor here.
Leave me alone! Move aside!

- Eva!
- Our Father, who art in Heaven…

Are you casting out the evil eye?

- Yes.
- Get out of here!

Eva, Eva! Try to stay with me.

- Welcome back!
- Welcome back!

I'm sorry! I had no idea this was
Matei's guesthouse.

I didn't even think Matei still existed.

Yeah, sure! Now help me up.

- Sure.
- Easy, like this.

- Are you okay?
- Yes.

Good, now, if you're feeling better,
let's go, before they get back.

Come on.

Wait!

We're not going anywhere.

We're not leaving until I find out
what happened. I want an explanation.

He disappeared eight years ago.
Let him go to hell!

I didn't cry over him for a whole year
for nothing.

Did you know I only deleted the
"Memories with Matei" folder yesterday?

I want an explanation!

Hurry up, or she'll pass out again!

- Easy, sweetheart!
- Kiran.

Easy, my love!
Please, don't stress yourself.

- Get some water quickly.
- Please, don't stress yourself.

I'm about to give birth here with
this woman fainting in my guesthouse.

Bring the calcium quickly!
Come on, my love!

These girls are a bit strange anyway.

- Strange? Why do you say that?
- Well, didn't you see?

They were acting like they know you
from somewhere.

How would they know me, love?
Where… where's the calcium?

- In the drawer, where else?
- Which drawer?

The right one!

Please calm down!

Bring another one.
For her.

She's fainting here,
dying in my guesthouse.

No, no, don't say that. Please.

Did you see his wife's belly?
What more explanation do you want?

We're staying here,
and we're not giving ourselves away.

The drawer with past demons
must be shut permanently

if you want to step cleanly
into the future.

- Where do you come up with these things?
- We're staying.

I brought the calcium.

- Are you feeling better?
- Yes, thank you.

- How are you feeling?
- Very well.

If you stay quiet, we'll stay quiet too.

It's really lovely and cozy here
at your place.

I think we're going to have a wonderful
time, aren't we, Mr. Matei?

How do you know his name is Matei?
He didn't tell you.

How do I know? Well, we introduced
ourselves, didn't we?

No, you didn't.

- From the website!
- His name isn't on the website.

And I was here the whole time next to him,
so how do you know?

I read it on the wall.

Nadia and Matei.
Kirilenko.

- Kirilenko… from Kiran.
- No! From my daddy.

Oh! How cute.

Good, now that we've solved this issue,
let's move on to the next one.

Where are the yoga instructors?

Exactly! The yoga instructors,
for whom Corina fought with Dana

so we could have the party in Vama Veche.

I have no choice but to rewind time
Tarantino-style.

Hey, is Tantra yoga that thing
that teaches you naughty stuff?

It's the only anti-aging and
anti-stress remedy.

The only anti-aging and anti-stress
remedy is youth itself.

In my case,

Jiji.

Jiji?

Don't tell me you've added him
to your collection!

He's been training me
for the last six months

You're not the only one he's training.

Hey!

Do you want me to show you pictures of the
yoga instructors waiting for us in Vama?

Show me.

Look at them.

See that one?
Mr. Namaste. He's mine.

- You see those two?
- Yes.

They're mine.
Come to momma!

Are you kidding? These guys have trained
all the high-quality girls here.

- Really?
- I'm serious!

Maria the notary, Elena the lawyer,
and especially Vanessa.

And what does this Vanessa do?

She doesn't do anything.
She's an influencer.

She doesn't work.
Not like us, wretches.

Wait until you see the artistic program
I've prepared for Jiji tonight.

You're doing it right,
with characters, costumes.

What other movies
have you been playing in lately?

Because for the past two years…
I've been in… love only.

Girls, calm down.

I am calm!

The two had no way of knowing that
the much-praised instructors would have

an encounter with fate that would
completely change the course of our story.

- Look who's here!
- Who?

- Florin Călinescu.
- Man, it's him!

Mr. Călinescu?

Mr. Florin!

Will you take a picture with us?

- Let's take a picture!
- What?

Mr. Florin Călinescu, we love you!
Will you take a picture with us?

Who's Florin Călinescu?
I'm Father Vasile.

- What jokes! What jokes!
- Say it louder!

- Are you filming something here?
- No, I'm not filming. I live here.

I'm Father Vasile from Vama,
that's all I am.

We won't give you away!

Many people have told me I look like him,
but I have nothing to do with him,

I'm here with holy matters.

Come on, please.
Take a picture with us, and that's it!

- Look now, the sun is just right for you.
- Alright, fine, 2…3… 8 Euro.

- I only have a 10.
- Come on, I was joking, let's do it.

- Thank you!
- Thank you so much!

- You're the best at comedy.
- You have many sins.

Poor Father Vasile had
nothing but problems.

Come on, boys, we have work to do.

Daddy's little one! Oh!

Here it is.

It's time to introduce you
to the antagonist, the tempter,

the unforgiving one,
the devil named Leon.

Brake, man! The dog!

The Jack Russell of the priest from Vama.

What did you do, man?

Hey, come on!

Unfortunately,
the priest had a major flaw:

- Where have you been?
- He was… deaf.

Where are you going?

And yet, there is a God!

Thanks to the lads from Vama Veche.

Anghel - chef, former ER doctor.

Aren't those the handsome ones
who work for Matei?

Tudor - fisherman, ex-Foreign Legion.

They are, indeed.

And Nicolae, secretary at the town hall
and deacon as a hobby.

What a shame.
Let's call Matei.

Call him already.

What is it?

We lost the instructors.

- What do you mean?
- I don't know. They had an accident.

Go look for other instructors.

Go!

To better understand who we are, let's go
back to the night before our departure.

You little brat!
You bit me!

Victor won't let me go to the seaside.
He's upset.

I'm what?

- I'm what?
- You got upset.

Tell Victor it's no big deal for him to
handle the wedding stuff for a few days.

We don't have the invitations,
the table arrangements… we don't have…

Not to mention we don't have
the table arrangements? Bravo.

Fine, tell him I said he should do
the table arrangements himself, OK?

The flowers are chosen;
everything's ready.

The dress, the shoes.

Put him… What are you talking about?
Put Victor on.

She wants to talk to you.

Not a chance.

No, Eva, please don't get me mad.
Where are those cigarettes?

This gum is driving me crazy.
I can't stand it anymore.

Alright, so let's be clear:

Tomorrow morning,
we're going to Vama Veche.

Alright, we'll go.

But I don't know if it still fits,
you know?

I feel like I've put on a bit of weight,
I can't tell.

Alright, I'm beat.
Good night, bye!

No, no, no.

Wait!

Dad, I went to the bathroom!

Mommy's sweetheart!
Mommy's love!

Let's go to bed.

Left without yoga instructors,
Matei had to find

an emergency… solution.

- Have a vodka, don't be sad.
- Give him a drink!

- No, I'm driving anyway.
- Give him a drink…

Can't you hear?
He doesn't want one!

And you shouldn't be drinking
from now on either.

Why?

Because you have to become
yoga instructors, that's why.

You're the bachelors of the village;
what else do you have to do?

Anghel, are you in?

Mr. Matei, we're grown men;
we're not yoga instructors.

We're from here.

Yeah… we have other professions.

Yes, but this isn't about professions,
trust me. Look…

It's very simple.
Look, for example, Anghel,

who's quiet and a bit grumpy,

he'll be the instructor for…

…meditation.

Don't be afraid; believe me, you just have
to stay silent, just stay silent.

Sometimes glance thoughtfully, like this,
and pretend you're pensive, you know,

and say, do this, look, do it like me,
like a buffalo, you know…

Perfect! That's it! Super.

Mr. Matei, you gave him an easy role.
I only know how to talk.

That's exactly what you need to do.
You need to talk non-stop.

But I've only read the Bible, Mr. Matei.

It doesn't matter. You'll be the
Indian philosophy instructor.

And as for the Bible, don't worry.
These girls are from the city.

They don't go to church.
Just adapt the Bible, swap out the saints,

Buddha and Shiva, whatever,
it doesn't matter.

The idea is that you need to
talk non-stop. Got it? Non-stop.

You talk.
Anghel is silent.

But… Mr. Matei, what about me?

- What about you?
- What am I going to do?

- You were in the Foreign Legion.
- Obviously.

- That's what I mean.
- So?

So listen up, Tudor!

Do you realize what happens if
these girls go home 2-3 kilos lighter?

- No!
- Well, the word will spread!

Word of mouth is the best advertising.

Understood?
You'll be the physical fitness instructor.

I'll shape them up!

Oh, God! My father!

What are you sinners doing here?
Your mom's waiting for you at home.

Do you think that fish fries itself?

Hey! Hey! I'm not 16 anymore!
I stand on my own two feet!

And take off those glasses!

We're talking in each other's ears,
and can't hear our mouths.

Look, I'm off duty, first of all,
let's get that straight,

and you'll have to speak up, 'cause my
batteries are running out at this point,

and in this village, you can't find…

I've put the fish on ice…

And Mr. Matei needs help.

He's out of yoga instructors
for the tourists and asked us to fill in.

Tell him, Tudor, because I can't
deal with him, I swear!

Uncle Vasile, Mr. Matei needs us
to be yoga instructors,

but we know nothing about yoga or Buddha.

- The toilet's clogged again?
- Not poo dah!

Buddha the Indian.

Something broke up there at the…

Jesus, our Lord, praised be His name,

but everyone knows that He was
good friends with this Buddha.

Well, go on and help Matei then, go on!

Sweetheart! I brought them!

- You?
- Vama is a small place.

- Come on.
- Come, come.

Ladies and…
Ladies.

Let me introduce the extraordinary,

the amazing, the wonderful

yoga instructors.

Why are you laughing?
This isn't funny! It's actually sad!

Are these the yoga instructors
we came for?

Oh my! But who are these orcs?

Surprise!
The yoga instructors.

I feel like…
I feel like something broke inside of me.

Are you mocking us?

These are the yoga instructors
we came for?

We have the honor and privilege
of having with us Master Anghel.

With whom you'll learn Hatha Yoga.

Here…
We have Master Tudor.

With him, you'll do Power Yoga.

And next…

And what a privilege!

Master Nicolae.

He will introduce you to Yogic Philosophy.

Great!
And who will we do Tantra Yoga with?

Yes, exactly!

The Tantra Yoga course will be held by us.
Me and Matei.

What are we doing? You decide.

What do you mean, what are we doing?
Yoga!

Kama Sutra - the Bible of sexuality.

Kama Sutra is known worldwide.

It emphasizes the satisfaction
of one's partner.

It is the art of sex.

And it provides exact advice

for achieving success.

And Buddha reached the Jordan River.

He did what?

He went to meet Shiva.

I know, I know the question
that's troubling your soul…

… souls.

What does Buddha have to do
with the Jordan?

Let him focus!

Yes! Because the question is,

what's the connection
between Buddha and the Jordan?

We begin with Stargate.

Hip rotations

to the right, with knees…
slower please, slower, slower,

slower and to the right

No! Stop! Stop!

- Master…
- Tudor.

Tudor.
We're grown women.

We had our fill of foreplay
all throughout high school.

Either you take us to tantra,
or you take these…

- …Commando exercises
- Exactly! Go do them with the seagulls.

I won't allow you to say a word!
Who do you think you are?

You have no decency, no respect.

Down!

Down!

Faster!

Faster! You're almost there. Come on!

Top Gun.

Faster!

The enemy is watching you. Faster!

What enemy?

- Yourselves. And laziness. Faster!
- Laziness? What does that mean?

- He called you lazy.
- Lazy? We're lazy?!

As long as he keeps speaking French…
I'm whatever he wants me to be.

Let's connect with Mother Nature.

- Mother, mother!
- Now I feel like I'm enlightened, reborn.

Let's connect with the spirit
of Siddhartha Gautama.

- Didn't you say Buddha?
- Well, it's still Buddha.

He was a man before he became Buddha.

Because Buddha was in Cuba.

Oh, come on!
He was in Cuba?

- In Iceland, in New Zealand.
- What Iceland, man?

In Australia.

Because Buddha was, is, and will be
everywhere all the time, in the same place

from before time began, now and forever
and unto the ages of ages.

- Amen
- Amen

- Namaste
- Pee break, I can't…

But I already went.

What's wrong?

Yes!

Yes!

So Fifty Shades of Grey is nothing!
You were Top Gun!

What a beast!

Don't you think he looks like a gorilla?

Maybe he'll spark my King Kong fantasy.

Who, him?
The grumpy one?

Can you imagine he did that to me
with his voice alone?

What if I had let him touch me?

I'm curious, what can I say?

Let's take a picture
now that we're smiling naturally.

- Come on!
- Let's go!

Here!

The Two Musketeers?
What kind of group is this?

Me, Jiji, and Dan.

You put them in a group?

So we're not handling them separately?

I mean, when I want to send a message,
I send it to both of them.

I don't feel like typing twice.

Clearly!
You send it to the group.

Practical.

Without the fuss of a planned party,
as the evening came,

the guys weren't doing badly in the
exorcism-through-alcohol department.

I don't get this whole
style, status, guide, status,

I don't understand any of it.

- What don't you understand?
- Nothing.

Style, status, guide, status,
you have to see how she perceives herself.

The most beautiful, the smartest,
the sexiest, and then,

you destroy her self-confidence,
hit her right at the core. Bam!

Listen, you give it to her directly.
Then, give it back.

So she thinks she found it herself.
Get it?

This theory thing, believe me,
we're all good at it in this country.

The problem is practice. That's our issue
among other things: practice.

Look at those two.

- They're beautiful.
- They already think they're women.

- Aren't they?
- We'll see.

Girls, the cookie shop
is two streets down.

This here's a bar for grown-ups.

What did he say?

No way!

Be patient, don't jump in!
Don't jump, be patient!

- They'll leave.
- Be patient! Look, look here!

Excuse me, sir, we finished school
a long time ago.

Med school.

So you know what the
sternocleidomastoid is, right?

Watch this!

The sternocleidomastoid muscle is
a long paired muscle

located anteriorly and laterally
in the cervical region,

attaching proximally
to the mastoid process

and distally to the sternum and clavicles.

The drinks are on us.

Professor, allow me to shake your hand.

- Professor, huh?
- Cheers!

I don't understand how he could leave
at this exact moment,

when I have tutoring, exams to handle.

Man, some people are so lucky…
Oh, man!

- Are you listening to what I'm saying?
- Yes.

I haven't had sex in a year
and four months. Corina's tormenting me.

There are 16 months, 26 days, 10 hours,
40 minutes, and a few seconds

since I last… penetrated anything but…
my fists.

Super!

- Come on!
- No!

Come on, embrace me!
Embrace your flaw!

You're getting nothing.

I haven't been this active
since high school.

What?

I mean, I haven't… been this active
since high school.

Amazing!

Every time I see an opening, I get
aroused. Subway doors turn me on,

pen caps turn me on,
but it's fine, it's fine…

very fine.

- Pauly, wait! Who's that guy?
- What guy?

Constantin?

Constantin is God's sent
on earth, in the flesh.

Man, that gorilla hasn't made a move,
not a single one.

Who?

Anghel. Good thing he's not her type,
poor guy.

What do you mean, not my type?

Well, he's hairy and clumsy,
no class.

Tudor is more your type.

He's more Rahan, more Tarzan, more…

Alright, here's what we'll do.

I'll bet that before we leave here,
both Tarzan and King Kong

will be mine.

Honestly, I doubt it.

Wanna bet?

It's a bet!

Alright, I'm off to a massage.

- Is it moving?
- Yes.

Daddy's love.

No matter what you say, these girls
seem a bit off, honestly.

Very strange.

- What can I say?
- Did the money come through?

Yesterday.

- All of it?
- All of it.

I took care of it.

Hey?

But why did they come here
in a group of three?

They rented out the entire guesthouse…

No idea.

Could it be that the three of them are,
you know…

Playing for the other team?
You think that's it?

- You mean…?
- I mean…

It's possible… wait a second!
You know, you might be right.

Right? That's what I'm saying.

Now that I think about it,
based on what I saw and how I saw it,

especially since one of them, at one
point, was looking at you… strangely.

- Sorry to intrude!
- No intrusion! We were expecting you.

You came for a massage, right?

Yes, that's why I came.
For a massage.

Well, Matei will take care of you.

- Him?
- Yes.

- Me.
- You! I'm pregnant.

Don't worry.
We're both certified masseurs.

We're both very good, but Matei!
Matei has these magical fingers…

That's why I married him.

Come on, take care of her! Get to work.

Please!

What will you do?

Are you going to tell the truth
to your pregnant wife?

Are you out of your mind?

Why do you want to be
something you're not?

You do the massage?

Give me a massage.

Come on, let's play it all the way.

Corina? Did you talk to her?
Did she call you?

- Did she call me?
- I don't know, did she?

Nineteen missed calls.

Oh man, she's calling me!
She's going to kill me!

She'll skin me alive
with the extraction forceps

if she finds me here, get it?

Calm down! Listen to me! Breathe!
Listen to me, breathe!

You were in the park with the kid, you ran
into me by chance, we stayed in the park,

and now we're together. Pick up!

- Hello my dear, how are you?
- Where are you?

I ran out of battery on my phone,
so I had to charge it.

Hey, where are you?

I was in the park,
and we ran into Victor and…

- Hi, Corina!
- Hi, Victor! Hugs and kisses!

And we came to the pub to talk,
to have a…

Anyway, how's the baby?

He's very good, very good, he ate,
he burped, very good.

Let me see him!

Hey, Octav! He looks tired!

He's tired; he ran around the park.

He ran around the park twice
and he's tired.

- Poor thing!
- Guys, are we doing tequila?

What did you say?
Where are you, Octav? Octav!

Bravo! Ten!

A black sun.

You covered up your tattoo.

Of course. What, you wanted everyone
to ask whose fingerprint that was?

I covered mine, too.

I don't care.

You're right.

But…

Why didn't you leave?

Why didn't you give me away?

We haven't given you away yet.
So be careful how you act.

Gentler.

What's wrong?

What do you want from me, really?

I want the truth.

Are you sure?

I'm not a masochist.

How was it?
Did you like it?

Very nice.

- Hey!!
- What, what?

How reckless are you to show up here,
where everyone knows us,

with two women?

Don't you understand, I've explained it
already! They're my clients,

I have to make some money, I train them.
See how good they look?

- Yeah, right, they're all yours!
- They are.

Listen to me! You like to create
problems that don't exist.

Is that what you guys do in law, huh?
Contradicting the obvious?

What obvious?

It's obvious that if Dana shows up now,
we're both in trouble, right?

- Yes. No.
- Man!

- You like risk, huh?
- Yeah.

- What do you suggest?
- If you like risk so much…

- Yeah.
- Alright, let's do a shot contest.

Whoever's left standing at the end
gets Dana.

Are you in?

- Well? Are you in?
- Yeah, I'm in.

Pauly!
Bring the shots, buddy!

- One hundred percent Jiji wins.
- I'm betting on Dan.

- Deal?
- It's a deal!

It's a deal, baby!

Hello!
What a beautiful child!

But I don't understand what he's doing in
a club, at this hour, among drunk people.

Sorry, but you should know I don't drink.

Oh, really! You don't drink.

I'm serious!
I don't drink alcohol.

Yeah, but you all look like the perfect
example of irresponsibility.

This child really shouldn't be here
at night, in a club.

First of all, stop scolding us,
let's get to know each other.

He's Octav. I'm Victor,
And Octav is Nicolae's father.

- Nicky.
- Nicky?

Nicky needs to go home, you know?

And you can barely stand on two legs.

Believe me, I'm trying to do that too.
To get home.

Let's call a taxi.

Well, I don't need a taxi,
I drove here.

Oh, you really don't drink?

I'm serious, I don't drink.

- Whoa!
- What?

- What?
- He farted.

Nicky, shall we go to the bathroom?
Let's get that nasty poop out.

I don't want to!

- We have to go to the bathroom because…
- No, we're not going anywhere.

- Maybe the two of us will go.
- Yeah.

Are you going?
Will you come with me?

- Shall we go to the bathroom?
- No, listen!

I'm going to the bathroom with the kid
You stay put!

When we come back, we're leaving!

- We're leaving.
- You heard? Don't leave here.

I love you!

Do you like it?

Are you enjoying the party?

I'm getting married.

To Victor.

You know what a guy Victor is?

A professor, an architect.
A dream!

A dream!

He's kind.
Kind and incredibly handsome.

So incredibly handsome.

Hey?

- Victor, you said your name is?
- Yes, Victor.

You really are a good guy.

What did you think?

- And you really don't drink?
- Alcohol? No.

Alright.

And my Matei was… a bad boy.

I always liked bad boys,
but really bad ones.

But Matei has become kind, you know,
since I got pregnant.

My Matei has transformed
since I got pregnant.

He's more like a Mattie now.

- Mattie?
- Yes.

Hey?

- What?
- Can I invite him to dance?

- Can I invite him to dance?
- Yes, of course! Why not, Miss Eva?

- Do you dance?
- Excuse me.

- Do you dance?
- No, I don't dance.

What did you talk to Nadia about?

I asked if I could dance with you.

I thought you talked about us.

Don't think about anything,
absolutely nothing.

Good evening!
Officer Manuela Berbeceanu.

Good evening!
What did I do?

Do you know what time it is?

Well, it's 12:35.

So it's night out, right?

Clearly, it's night time.

Then why are you driving
with your lights off?

Oh, yeah! My apologies, I…
Yes, I forgot, I'm sorry.

You forgot?

Where's the child's car seat?

What car seat?

Oh my! My apologies, I'm so sorry!

It's my car.
He's my friend, with his child.

My car doesn't need a child seat.
I'm sorry!

Yes, I know, I made a mistake.

What?

Please breathe towards me. More.

- What have you had to drink?
- He didn't drink anything.

- He really doesn't drink at all.
- Please let the gentleman answer.

I really don't drink alcohol, really,
I don't drink alcohol.

But my friend here has had a drink,
and I'm taking him home…

Please get your documents ready
and step out of the car.

Okay.

- Give me the scarf!
- No.

Give me the scarf.
It's the Legion's scarf.

You dance very well!

French is just for class.
Here, let's stick to Romanian.

Seriously?
Finally!

Let's go for it!

What?

- What?
- I think I twisted my ankle.

- Does it hurt?
- Yes!

- You need to lie down.
- You read my mind.

- Can you walk?
- I can try.

- I can't.
- Which room are you in?

- Nine.
- Upstairs.

- I preferred the other way.
- This way is better, for circulation.

If you say so…

- Cold water compress!
- I have a towel in the bathroom.

Okay.

- I can't find it!
- It's in the cabinet, on the top.

- This isn't right.
- Isn't it?

- No.
- Is this better?

Fine…

- Does it hurt?
- Oh, yes.

- Press harder!
- Press harder?

Oh, yes!
And the other one.

Oh, that's good!
Oh, that feels so good!

- Oh, it's so good! Go to my knee now.
- But wasn't it your ankle that hurt?

- Sorry?
- Wasn't it your ankle?

Yes! And my knee!
Right there, yes!

- Like this?
- Wet it a little more, please.

Why are you laughing?

You're acting like a sheep
during shearing.

That's how sheep act when I shear them.

When I run the machine they get ticklish.

Aren't you a yoga instructor?

Yes! But I'm also a shepherd.
I have 20 sheep and 10 goats.

What?

In that case, I guess
one more goat won't hurt.

- Meaning?
- Meaning…

- What?
- I've got a cramp right here.

- Where?
- Here.

Just like that!

Jasmine?

I'm allergic to jasmine.

What are you doing?

Sorry!

Apologies!

Sorry!

Where are you going?

Yes? Sorry!

Where are you going?

Yeah!

I'm going home.

I'm not coming back. I have no desire
to stay with your drunk friends.

I'm not coming back. No!

Next time, be more careful.

I promise.
Thank you very much.

- What did you tell her?
- It's a secret!

That's exactly it; take my word for it.

Just as every object “Made in China”
is the same,

so are all religions “Made in India”.

I want something to drink.

Don't we have shampoo?

Are you okay?

A dream!
I just want to sleep!

- Do you have a sleeping pill?
- Yes, I have one in my bathroom.

But don't take Tramadol,
it'll knock you out completely.

- Good. There.
- Didn't we have cotton for this…

It wasn't like Dana to lose,

so she immediately reconfigured
her approach to win the bet.

And what did you say to the officer?

I have a secret method that never fails.

A method?

Yes.

Let's see?

I told you it's a secret.

Come on, tell me.

Come on!

Fine! I'll make it a gift for you.

I can't believe you told her that.

Do you think I'm lying?

Hey?

I'm a businesswoman, so tell me how much
it costs to take me to Nirvana?

How much?

Excuse me! Am I interrupting?

It's not what it looks like.
Master Anghel and I are meditating

on an existential question.

- What was the question?
- To be or not to be an idiot.

Matei…
My great love.

It's late. Let me take you to your room.

After a crazy night,

Corina was the first
of us to be confronted with the truth.

Wake up!

Make me look like a fool, you old hag!

Cabbage juice. Drink up!

Come on.

Octav, you have no idea
what I'm going to do to you!

My head's splitting.

You're going to ruin yourself
with drinking.

I want a divorce.

Divorce?
You want a divorce?

Mom, I want a divorce.
I can't take it anymore; I want a divorce.

Oh, come on!
Corina is wonderful!

Whether or not she likes me
is less important.

She's a good person; I can feel it.

That's what matters to me the most.

She has her issues, like everyone else.

She's hardworking, honest,
a caring mother, not a bimbo.

She's also going through a tough time.
I know what I'm talking about, believe me.

I remember how I was
after I gave birth to you.

I wanted to strangle your father.

- Dad?
- Yes, your dad!

You're his spitting image.
Sometimes I want to strangle you, too.

You need to understand her.
She needs you right now.

Well, do you still love her?

You still love her!

Drink the cabbage juice!
Slap yourself and snap out of it!

And be thankful she's not here to see you.

You've really messed things up with Octav.

I did everything for us.

I thought it was right for me
to work and make money

while he stayed home with the kid.

But all he needed was…

just a little attention and affection.

He wanted a girlfriend,
not a police officer.

How did I get here?

Overwhelmed by the prospect of failure,
Dana didn't give up

and eventually used Tramadol
to ensure her victory with Tudor.

- Hey!
- Hey.

Want a beer?

- Right here.
- Slowly!

No, I can walk!
But something's happening.

Yes, something's happening.
It's finally happening.

- Lie down.
- This way.

Lie down.
Watch me how I'm about to lie down.

It's seven-star service.

Unfortunately, the dose was too strong.

Sweet dreams.

Who's the best?
Dana's the best.

Who's the best?
Dana's the best.

Who's the best?
Dana's the best.

Who's the best?
Dana's the best.

Jeronimo?

Oh man, oh man!

Good thing it's ending;
if this lasted another two days,

my tongue would fall off.

What are you doing? Sleeping on the job?

Time to wake my Indian up.

Jeronimo?

Jeronimo?

And just like that, Jeronimo proved
that love is blind and transcends gender.

Jeromy!

I came for you to tell me why.

Whatever the truth is,
I want to know why you just disappeared.

I'm leaving tomorrow,
And we'll never see each other again.

Please.

I was afraid of losing you.

But…

Danger and adrenaline
are more addictive than any drug.

That's why I didn't dare tell you
I was the dealer of the school.

Bye!

Police!
Get down! Get down!

And so, I ended up in front of
Prosecutor Marinescu.

In front of my dad?

The conversation can go two ways:

One. I talk, and you listen
Two. You stay silent, and I talk.

When you came to my house
with the goods on you,

and you smiled innocently,

without trembling,

the criminal was my daughter's boyfriend.

I apologize.

I almost ended up sitting in a chair
just like you are now,

if someone hadn't given me
a second chance at the right time.

I was lucky.

And I want to give you some of it.

What do you mean?

I mean shut up and listen!

If you want to be lucky.

You won't get less than seven years
in prison, there's nothing I can do.

Unless you do something for me.

Disappear! Disappear from Eva's life.

Don't destroy her future!

To disappear.

That was the condition to…

not look for you, to…

not write to you,
to not exist for you anymore.

Why are you lying?

Why are you lying now,
why are you mocking me?

I swear that's the truth.

Your father was right.

The Matei back then

would have destroyed you.

And you would never have been
the happy woman you are now.

Happy?

Help me forgive you.

As I was saying…

what do I have to do, and I will do it.

Would you ever get a vasectomy?

A vasectomy?
What kind of question is that?

So, you wouldn't?

God forbid!

Promise?

If I need to promise, I promise.

As Matei and I
untied our final connection,

Victor and Liri were tying their first.

Anghel Pricop

45 years old, former emergency doctor
in Constanța,

now a chef in Vama Veche,

and a farmer.

I am a successful businesswoman.

An independent woman.

I know your type so well.

Before the modern, independent, and
successful woman, you are just a human.

So scared and frightened.

You are blinded by your own dust,
probably thrown into your eyes

with every man who passes through
your bed, with every contract

that fills your pockets,

with this lack of belief

that people could be more than puppets,
dangling from your strings.

I know, the hardest thing in life is to
look in the mirror and truly see yourself.

It's the toughest test for everyone,
and it looks like you failed it.

It's obvious

you've never owned up to any mistake,
which I find…

incredibly sad.

What a shame!

Go to hell!

No one judges me!
Not you, not anyone, not even the heavens!

- Hello, yes?
- Have you checked your email today?

No.

The results are in.

They aren't good.

Only then did Dana feel
the meaning of pain.

Deep. In her womb.

Because God had dared
to reject her first and immediately.

The tests showed a final decision:

she would never be able to give birth.

I'm not in the mood for a conversation,
if that's why you came.

I thought Matei had come back.

I came to ask for your forgiveness.

I lied to you.

Matei and I know each other.

I knew from the first moment.

Nadia…

My Matei no longer exists.

Your Matei exists; I am only a shadow,
which will disappear tomorrow.

But you will never disappear.

Anything that enters the heart's chakra
never leaves.

Please, forgive him!

It's all my fault.

Don't worry.

I embraced your shadow long ago.

And I live happily with it.

What's wrong? What happened?
What's the matter?

- Kiran!
- What?

- What should I do?
- Call Anghel!

- Now!
- Anghel!

I'm giving birth!

Matei!

And that's how I came to be
the midwife for Kiran,

the child of my great impossible love.

Yes! Now that was an unforgettable
bachelorette party.

Then we left, and no one said
a word on the way home.

Dana eventually went to learn
the hardest lesson of all.

Forgiveness.

I'm listening.

I need to tell you the truth.

Your mother didn't let me tell you.

I had a brutal schedule.

International flights, strange hours.

The distances between us became too vast,

too deep, we had a void between us.

And Rodica couldn't wait for me.

She asked for the divorce.
Immediately, back then.

I thought it was an accident,
an impulse, an escape for her.

But it wasn't that.

She entered a relationship.

Meanwhile, Corina regained her balance.

Wait! The baby!

He's with my mother-in-law.

I love you.

Did something happen?

Did something happen?

I feel you're distant.

I am distant.

Bad timing.

My story has come to an end, and
it happened exactly as the saying goes:

it's not for whom it is planned,
but for whom it is meant to be.

But do you know why?

Because we never choose who we love.