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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,234 --> 00:00:03,259 And so, due to one architectural oversight... 2 00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:08,865 the Toledo bridge disaster of 1906 claimed the lives of 75 people. 3 00:00:09,976 --> 00:00:12,274 Now, I hate to stop while I'm on a roll... 4 00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:14,210 but happy Halloween, ya crazies! 5 00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,341 Hey, Professor "Bros-by"... 6 00:00:17,450 --> 00:00:19,145 you gonna come get beers with us later? 7 00:00:19,252 --> 00:00:20,549 Nah, I got a thing. 8 00:00:20,653 --> 00:00:22,587 But you kids have fun trick-or-treating. 9 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:26,181 This is our treat. You're the coolest, Professor Mosby. 10 00:00:26,292 --> 00:00:28,351 Well, hot dog. 11 00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:30,361 - Did it hurt? - What? 12 00:00:30,463 --> 00:00:34,160 Getting that kid's nose surgically removed from your ass. 13 00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:36,531 It's not her nose that's in my ass, Lily. 14 00:00:36,636 --> 00:00:38,103 It's her heart. 15 00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:42,004 My class loves me. I am really makin' an impression on those guys. 16 00:00:43,676 --> 00:00:45,667 I'd like to make an impression on those guys. 17 00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:48,441 And I love the office Halloween party. 18 00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:51,574 It is so much sluttier than the office Christmas party. 19 00:00:51,684 --> 00:00:53,151 Though, not as freaky... 20 00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:55,050 as the office President's Day rave. 21 00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:58,420 Or the office Tu B'shvat pajama jammy-jam. 22 00:00:59,492 --> 00:01:01,084 Hey, guys. Hey, boss. 23 00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:02,752 Hey, Randy. Uh, you want a beer? 24 00:01:02,862 --> 00:01:04,386 Oh, no, thank you. I brew my own. 25 00:01:04,497 --> 00:01:07,728 At the risk of bragging, my hazelnut pilsner won fourth prize... 26 00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:09,597 at the Weehawken Retirement Home Clambake... 27 00:01:09,702 --> 00:01:12,034 and Wheelchair Maintenance Picnic. 28 00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:14,936 I wouldn't consider any part of that bragging. 29 00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:16,668 Hey, uh, it just occurred to me. 30 00:01:16,776 --> 00:01:19,210 Is your friend... What's her name? Gobin, Flabin? 31 00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:20,711 - Robin? - Robin. That's it, yeah. 32 00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:23,044 Is she comin' tonight? Not that I really care. 33 00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:26,812 - Robin has another party to go to. - Oh, damn it! I'm leaving! 34 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,081 Oh, wait. But she might stop by later. 35 00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:31,089 Guess I can hang out a little longer. 36 00:01:37,497 --> 00:01:40,159 So, anyone going to see the, uh, Halloween parade? 37 00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:43,167 We were big fans of New York's annual Halloween Parade. 38 00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:46,432 I don't mean the one that takes place Halloween night in the Village. 39 00:01:46,539 --> 00:01:48,803 I mean the one that takes place the morning of November 1... 40 00:01:48,908 --> 00:01:52,139 the Annual Post-Halloween Walk Of Shame Parade. 41 00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:54,008 Look at 'em. 42 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:57,572 Headin' home after their dirty, filthy hookups. 43 00:01:57,684 --> 00:02:01,142 - Ooh. Looks like that bee got busy. - Ha. 44 00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:04,382 Looks like that French maid didn't turn down somebody's bed. 45 00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:08,188 Uh-oh, looks like Pocahontas has a couple of wounded knees. 46 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:09,761 - Come on, Marshall. - There's a line. 47 00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,490 - No, it's because that girl... - We get it. 48 00:02:11,598 --> 00:02:13,259 Does it get any better than this? 49 00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:17,131 Uh, yes. Yes, it does. 50 00:02:18,905 --> 00:02:21,840 Crap. 51 00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:38,690 There she is... 52 00:02:38,791 --> 00:02:41,726 Florence "Night In Bed With A Stranger." 53 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:45,320 - So who's the lucky patient? - I don't wanna talk about it. 54 00:02:45,431 --> 00:02:48,366 Please tell me you're not hooking up with one of your co-anchors again. 55 00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:51,369 - My co-anchor's a woman. - Tell me you are hooking up with one of your co-anchors. 56 00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:53,063 Robin had always believed... 57 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,731 that the key to success... 58 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,468 was intelligence, hard work and professionalism. 59 00:02:56,576 --> 00:02:58,635 Her new co-anchor, Becky, had a different philosophy. 60 00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:01,646 Boats! Boats! Boats! 61 00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:03,716 It's the Farhampton Boat Show... 62 00:03:03,816 --> 00:03:07,047 Boats! Boats! Boatsl 63 00:03:07,153 --> 00:03:10,350 November 5, 6, 7 at the Farhampton Civic Center. 64 00:03:10,456 --> 00:03:11,889 B-B-Boats! 65 00:03:11,991 --> 00:03:13,652 Come on downl 66 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,694 B-B-B-Boats! 67 00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:19,593 - You did a commercial? - Why not? 68 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:22,532 You're a journalist. Don't you want to be taken seriously? 69 00:03:22,635 --> 00:03:24,000 No. I'm cute. 70 00:03:24,103 --> 00:03:25,593 Okay, if you really think... 71 00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,400 this is going to help your image... 72 00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:30,237 Hi, Becky. Boats, boats, boats. 73 00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:33,445 Robin, little help here. 74 00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:36,339 - Aw. - Oh, Robin. 75 00:03:36,449 --> 00:03:38,440 You gotta not worry so much about being liked. 76 00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:41,748 Oh, easy for you to say. Everybody loves you at your job. 77 00:03:41,854 --> 00:03:43,685 Mmm. That's true. - That was true of my teaching job... 78 00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,587 but I was also designing the new headquarters... 79 00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:47,922 for Goliath National Bank, and, well... 80 00:03:48,027 --> 00:03:51,360 Ted Mosby, we don't like you! 81 00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:53,091 What do you have to say for yourself... 82 00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:54,826 tearing down a beautiful old building... 83 00:03:54,934 --> 00:03:56,765 just to put up a stupid bank headquarters? 84 00:03:56,869 --> 00:03:58,336 Hmm. 85 00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:02,033 Boo-freakin'-hoo. 86 00:04:02,141 --> 00:04:05,042 - Boo-freakin'-hoo? That's it? - Yeah. 87 00:04:05,144 --> 00:04:09,444 - The Arcadian is an architecturally significant... - Architecturally significant? 88 00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:13,610 Zoey, you're very pretty. Your hair smells great. 89 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,654 Shampoo. You should try it sometime. 90 00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:18,246 You don't know the first thing about architecture. 91 00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:20,986 Key Ted Mosby's car. 92 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,061 Go on. 93 00:04:22,161 --> 00:04:23,628 I'm a professor. Okay? 94 00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:26,221 I teach this stuff at one of the best colleges in the country. 95 00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:28,323 I don't go down to your place of non-employment... 96 00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:30,459 and lecture you about how your little protest... 97 00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:32,265 is a misguided waste of time. 98 00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:35,398 Except, whoops... I just did. Ha! Burn. 99 00:04:35,508 --> 00:04:38,068 - Oh, good, the eggs are here. - Well, I should head up. 100 00:04:38,177 --> 00:04:40,077 No, GNB was not popular. 101 00:04:40,179 --> 00:04:43,637 That's why every year they produced a feel-good video to improve the bank's image. 102 00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:47,049 What makes Goliath National Bank different from other big banks? 103 00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:49,087 Here at GNB, we care. 104 00:04:49,188 --> 00:04:52,316 I care about our precious earth. 105 00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:56,251 I care about old people. 106 00:04:57,463 --> 00:05:00,523 I care about high-yield off-shore investments... 107 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,260 and so does Tugboat here. 108 00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:04,302 Isn't that right, Tugboat? Yeah. 109 00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:07,631 Okay, get that camera outta my face... 110 00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:09,799 before I flip you like a cheese omelet. 111 00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:14,846 All you have to do is say "I care about making dreams come true." 112 00:05:14,947 --> 00:05:17,916 First of all, that line makes me sound like a hooker... 113 00:05:18,017 --> 00:05:20,281 and saying it makes me feel like a hooker. 114 00:05:20,386 --> 00:05:23,947 Everyone is in this video. Randy's in the video. 115 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,116 I don't want to brag, but in 29 takes... 116 00:05:26,225 --> 00:05:27,954 I only threw up thrice. 117 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:29,358 Great. 118 00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:31,396 Randy, did you send the Hermanson contracts downtown? 119 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:34,022 I did. I sent them downtown. 120 00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:37,034 Why are you sayin' it like that? They never arrived at the downtown office. 121 00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:38,603 They... 122 00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:40,332 Just to make sure we're on the same page... 123 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:45,002 is "send them downtown" not an expression for shredding a document? 124 00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:47,875 - You shredded them? - I sent them downtown. 125 00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:49,538 You know, down into the shredder. 126 00:05:49,649 --> 00:05:51,913 You-You feed the paper in a downwards fashion... 127 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,645 so that's where the expression comes from. 128 00:05:53,753 --> 00:05:56,187 That's not an expression! That has never been an expression! 129 00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:58,814 Okay, I can fix this. I am all over this project. 130 00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:04,920 I'll say this. There is no quit in that guy. 131 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,498 You should fire him. 132 00:06:06,599 --> 00:06:08,260 Okay, that... That right there... 133 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,461 That attitude is exactly why I won't be in your video... 134 00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:12,333 because GNB doesn't care. 135 00:06:12,438 --> 00:06:14,497 They hand out pink slips like they're hors d'oeuvres. 136 00:06:14,607 --> 00:06:16,768 Just last week, I was talking to Arthur. 137 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:19,845 Whoa, whoa. You're wearin' a green tie. No. 138 00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:23,211 I'm wearin' a green tie. 139 00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:25,341 GNB treats their people like they're disposable... 140 00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:27,248 and I will not be a part of that. 141 00:06:27,353 --> 00:06:31,687 Marshall Eriksen does not fire people, period. 142 00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:36,353 Uh, just want you to know, we are making good progress on this new project. 143 00:06:36,462 --> 00:06:38,453 You gentlemen keep talking. 144 00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:40,327 I will answer that. 145 00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:42,025 Marshall Eriksen's office. 146 00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:44,763 Yeah, I can get that for you. Just a second. 147 00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:50,071 Uh, "bank." The "B" stands for bank. 148 00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:52,406 Okay, Mother, I'll see you tonight. 149 00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:54,946 Oh, yikes. I better get Mr. Messy a napkin. 150 00:07:03,723 --> 00:07:05,190 Period! 151 00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:07,225 Just tell me who you slept with. 152 00:07:07,326 --> 00:07:09,055 Lily, I don't want to get into it, okay? 153 00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:11,460 Aha! It's someone we know. 154 00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:14,624 If it was some ding-dong we didn't know, you'd just give me his name. 155 00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:18,135 Fine. It's Bill Pepper. 156 00:07:18,237 --> 00:07:20,728 - Bill Pepper? - Mm-hmm. 157 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,899 Kind of a coincidence there happens to be... 158 00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:25,239 a bill and a pepper shaker here on the table. 159 00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:29,280 Any chance you and Bill had a three-way with Fork Napkin? 160 00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:32,681 - Oh, come on! - It's someone we know! 161 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:37,648 So, I'm assuming you all read the chapters on Greek Revival architecture. 162 00:07:37,757 --> 00:07:38,791 - Any questions? - Yes. How do you sleep at night? 163 00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,588 - Any questions? - Yes. How do you sleep at night? 164 00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:46,760 What are you doing here? 165 00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:48,527 It was recently made clear to me... 166 00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:50,625 that I don't know the first thing about architecture... 167 00:07:50,736 --> 00:07:53,204 so here I am. 168 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,806 Very well then. Let's get started. 169 00:07:56,909 --> 00:07:59,935 Some examples of Greek Revival architecture... 170 00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:03,675 Ooh! Ooh! Is the Arcadian Greek Revival? 171 00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:05,776 No. 172 00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:08,285 What's the Arcadian? 173 00:08:08,387 --> 00:08:10,480 Oh, it's just this beautiful old building... 174 00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:12,785 that Professor Mosby wants to tear down. 175 00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:15,486 What? No. Professor Mosby loves old buildings. 176 00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:17,654 He wouldn't do that. Right, Ted? 177 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,793 Getting back to Greek Revival... 178 00:08:23,102 --> 00:08:25,798 - I lost 'em. - Look, you're new at teaching. 179 00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:30,001 In my kindergarten class, I have had plenty of troublesome students... 180 00:08:30,109 --> 00:08:32,339 like Johnny Marley. 181 00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:39,381 Johnny! Johnny! 182 00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:43,615 He and that little stuffed horsey raised all kinds of hell. 183 00:08:43,723 --> 00:08:47,022 But I have a simple method for shuttin' down troublemakers. 184 00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:50,289 You know that '98 Taurus that's always parked outside? 185 00:08:50,396 --> 00:08:52,330 The one with the really annoying alarm? 186 00:08:52,431 --> 00:08:54,194 Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! 187 00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:55,494 Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! 188 00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:57,865 Ooh-wee! Ooh-wee! Ooh-wee! 189 00:08:57,970 --> 00:09:00,200 Whoo-oop! Whoo-oop! 190 00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:02,171 Ehh-ehh! Ehh-ehh! 191 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:03,742 We're familiar with it. 192 00:09:03,843 --> 00:09:06,869 Well, when a kid like Johnny acts up in my class... 193 00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,375 Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! 194 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:14,112 Whoo-oop! Whoo-oop! Whoo-oop! 195 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:17,053 Ehh-ehh! Ehh-ehh! Ehh! 196 00:09:18,524 --> 00:09:20,014 Shuts 'em right up. 197 00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:23,289 Lily, my students are adults, and I treat them that way. 198 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:26,365 I'll just give them more candy and make them a mix CD. Problem solved. 199 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,962 Oh, baby, what's wrong? 200 00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:32,527 Something bad happened. 201 00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:35,573 Randy, hey. Have you seen... 202 00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:38,610 Before you get to that, regarding the earlier project I was working on... 203 00:09:38,711 --> 00:09:40,702 Voil�. 204 00:09:40,813 --> 00:09:43,976 - That's the Hermanson contract? - The Hermanson contract? 205 00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,881 Aw, man, this is the Filbert contract. 206 00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:49,045 - Damn it! - No... 207 00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:51,055 Anyway, what's your thing? 208 00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:52,784 I need the Filbert contract! 209 00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:54,792 No! 210 00:09:56,829 --> 00:09:59,320 Well, I'll do what I can... 211 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:03,493 but in my experience, twice shredded is fairly permanent. 212 00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:06,737 I'm sorry, Randy... 213 00:10:06,839 --> 00:10:08,602 but this just isn't working out. 214 00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:10,573 Marshall popped his cherry! 215 00:10:10,676 --> 00:10:12,007 Oh! 216 00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:15,137 Come on, Marshall. You have to admit, the guy was a disaster. 217 00:10:15,247 --> 00:10:17,442 I mean, it reflected badly on the company. 218 00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:21,316 He was an embarrassment, a huge embarrassment. 219 00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:23,752 You slept with Randy! 220 00:10:23,856 --> 00:10:28,293 - What? - Why it's elementary, my dear "Scherbatson." 221 00:10:28,394 --> 00:10:30,521 Your co-host is getting super popular... 222 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,427 because of her stupid commercial... 223 00:10:32,531 --> 00:10:33,930 Boats! Boats! Boats! 224 00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:36,866 so when you arrived at the GNB party after we left... 225 00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:39,802 you were feeling vulnerable... and drunk. 226 00:10:39,905 --> 00:10:43,773 Then, from across the not-so-crowded conference room... 227 00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:45,639 your eyes met. 228 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,044 And as we all remember... 229 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:54,381 Randy has a unique condition. 230 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,785 Yeah, your nose is bleeding like a faucet. 231 00:10:56,889 --> 00:10:59,084 Oh, God. This happens every time I get an erection. 232 00:10:59,191 --> 00:11:00,658 I am so sorry. 233 00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:05,893 That's... 234 00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:08,697 exactly what happened. 235 00:11:09,769 --> 00:11:11,236 See, Marshall? 236 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:14,306 If getting fired is an execution, at least the guy had a last meal. 237 00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:17,137 - Oh, my God. - I promise you, tomorrow you'll feel a lot better. 238 00:11:18,944 --> 00:11:21,139 Randy. Hey, what's goin' on? 239 00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:23,545 I just wanted to say no hard feelings. 240 00:11:23,649 --> 00:11:25,640 Thank you. 241 00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:27,378 So where are you headed now? 242 00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:31,979 Downtown. 243 00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:36,825 No! 244 00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:39,420 It's okay, baby. 245 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,501 It wasn't okay, so the next morning... 246 00:11:42,601 --> 00:11:44,899 Arthur, I'm here because I made a mistake. 247 00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:47,370 - I fired Randy yesterday. - That was a mistake. 248 00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:49,100 You should have fired him a year ago. 249 00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:52,041 No. Sir, that is what's wrong with this company. 250 00:11:52,144 --> 00:11:54,408 How can we say GNB cares... 251 00:11:54,513 --> 00:11:56,777 and then turn around and treat someone like that? 252 00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:59,749 I mean, sure, he made a few mistakes, but everybody makes mistakes. 253 00:11:59,852 --> 00:12:02,787 Like-Like, Tugboat here. Awww. 254 00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:04,515 I bet you he's made some mistakes... 255 00:12:04,623 --> 00:12:07,091 and you didn't fire Tugboat, did you? 256 00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:09,457 No, I got him fixed, and he calmed down. 257 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,325 Exactly. Kind of. 258 00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:14,627 Randy doesn't need to be fired. He needs to be fixed. 259 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,965 Marshall, we do some pretty bad things around here, but I don't... 260 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:21,198 No, sir. I'm saying instead of getting rid of someone when they screw up... 261 00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:24,105 we should... we should help them. 262 00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:27,543 We should nurture them. Hmm? 263 00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:35,478 I changed the ice pack on his crotch every hour for three days. 264 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:40,491 Wow. Eriksen, if you want to un-fire Randy, I support you. 265 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,458 Because to come in here and say what you just said... 266 00:12:42,561 --> 00:12:45,223 well, you... you got a couple things that Tugboat doesn't. 267 00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:52,827 Guys, Prof Rock is a really good mix, okay? 268 00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:55,270 A piece of New York history is being torn down... 269 00:12:55,374 --> 00:12:59,572 - and all you could say was "boo-freakin'-hoo"? - Boo-f... 270 00:12:59,678 --> 00:13:03,273 I may have mentioned our conversation over a session of hacky sack. 271 00:13:03,382 --> 00:13:07,079 The one day I miss the sack circle, you guys sub her in? 272 00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:10,747 Why'd you miss? Too busy tearing down the Statue of Liberty? 273 00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:15,759 No. I was returning a hot dog costume that you all enjoyed. 274 00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:19,458 They were all turning against me... 275 00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:21,430 so I figured, what the hell. 276 00:13:26,438 --> 00:13:28,838 Woo-woo! Woo-woo! Woo-woo! Woo-woo! 277 00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:30,340 Woo-woo-woo! 278 00:13:30,442 --> 00:13:32,137 Woo-wooo! Woo-wooo! Woo-wooo! 279 00:13:32,244 --> 00:13:35,042 Whoo-oop! Whoo-oop! 280 00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:36,614 And... did it work? 281 00:13:36,715 --> 00:13:38,615 Gangbusters. We're buddies again. 282 00:13:38,717 --> 00:13:42,448 After class, we hacked a little sack to the thumpin' strains of my Prof Rock CD. 283 00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,853 And, no, none of them had heard the Pixies' B-side. 284 00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:48,358 Actually, none of them had heard of the Pixies... or a B-side. 285 00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:50,121 - Hey, guys. - Uh-oh. 286 00:13:50,229 --> 00:13:52,026 I know that smile. 287 00:13:52,131 --> 00:13:55,066 Lily, there's no easy way to say this. Marshall's dead. 288 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,634 Randy murdered him. 289 00:13:56,735 --> 00:13:59,135 No. I know why Randy is smiling. 290 00:13:59,238 --> 00:14:01,968 You're smiling because of Robin. 291 00:14:02,074 --> 00:14:05,043 Robin? Like, how I think about her when I'm in the shower? 292 00:14:05,144 --> 00:14:06,839 I'm tryin' to eat here, buddy. 293 00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:09,744 No. Because you slept with her on Halloween. 294 00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:11,646 What? No. 295 00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:14,981 I went home, had a shower and went to bed. 296 00:14:15,087 --> 00:14:17,112 - You didn't sleep with her? - No. 297 00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:20,659 Even in the shower, the farthest we ever get is hugging. 298 00:14:20,759 --> 00:14:23,193 So why are you smiling? 299 00:14:23,295 --> 00:14:24,819 I'll tell you why. 300 00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:27,091 This just isn't working out. 301 00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:29,667 I'm fired. Great. 302 00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:33,295 This is the Candle Kiosk at the mall all over again. 303 00:14:33,405 --> 00:14:35,270 Wait a minute. 304 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:37,137 I get a severance check. 305 00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:41,805 If I don't shred it, I could use that money to start my own brewery. 306 00:14:41,914 --> 00:14:44,508 Imagine a beer with my name on it. 307 00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:48,212 Randy Wharmpess, this is the best day of your life. 308 00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:52,219 Thanks to that severance check... 309 00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:56,055 this time next year, you'll all be enjoying a frothy mug of Wharmpess. 310 00:14:56,161 --> 00:14:57,958 Randy, great news. 311 00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,758 You're not fired. 312 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:04,729 No! 313 00:15:07,539 --> 00:15:09,905 Good morning, everybody. 314 00:15:13,212 --> 00:15:14,873 Where's my class? 315 00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:19,747 Hello, Professor. 316 00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:21,752 Ha! Burn. 317 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,155 I got you your job back, Randy. 318 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:31,127 - I thought that you'd be happy. - But I don't belong here. 319 00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:33,960 I'm born to be a brewer, a hops meisterl 320 00:15:34,066 --> 00:15:36,091 Well, then quit. No one's stoppin' you. 321 00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:38,226 I can't. I need my severance check. 322 00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:41,704 - Well, I'm sorry, Randy, but that's called fraud. - It's not fraud. 323 00:15:41,807 --> 00:15:44,469 I'm just asking you to give me a lot of money to not work here... 324 00:15:44,576 --> 00:15:46,237 and not tell anyone about it. 325 00:15:46,345 --> 00:15:48,745 Even if I wanted to fire you, after my talk with Arthur... 326 00:15:48,847 --> 00:15:50,906 Oh, come on. Arthur can't remember that. 327 00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:53,746 Marshall, what a memorable talk we had yesterday. 328 00:15:53,852 --> 00:15:56,821 Randy, on behalf of everyone at GNB... 329 00:15:56,922 --> 00:15:59,686 both in and out of prison, we're sorry. 330 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,352 And I want to assure you, you'll never be fired again. 331 00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:05,953 You're gonna work here until you die. Huh? Huh? 332 00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:08,761 Uh... Green tie? 333 00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:11,927 - Uh, nice choice. - Thanks. Brings out my eyes. 334 00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:14,301 Yeah. I'll bring out your eyes. 335 00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,008 Listen, Randy, I'm sorry... 336 00:16:17,109 --> 00:16:20,135 but I broke my own moral code once, and I felt evil. 337 00:16:20,245 --> 00:16:22,372 I will not let GNB change me. 338 00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:26,474 I will never fire anyone again, ever! 339 00:16:26,585 --> 00:16:29,611 Oh, we'll see about that. 340 00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:35,120 Anyhoo, while I got ya, big smile. 341 00:16:35,227 --> 00:16:38,856 "We care about making dreams come true." In three, two... 342 00:16:38,964 --> 00:16:40,727 No! 343 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,802 - What are you doing? - Oh, are you unhappy with my performance? 344 00:16:43,902 --> 00:16:46,530 I guess I'm fired then. I better turn in my I.D. 345 00:16:46,638 --> 00:16:49,163 You know, it's actually, um... 346 00:16:49,274 --> 00:16:51,071 nice having some of this clutter off my desk... 347 00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:52,643 so thank you, Randy. 348 00:16:57,416 --> 00:16:58,883 Yeah, there's more. 349 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:03,854 I don't know what I'm gonna use this for, but it's great! 350 00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:06,356 Now am I fired? 351 00:17:06,458 --> 00:17:10,224 I've been meaning to clean out that file cabinet for ages. 352 00:17:10,329 --> 00:17:12,889 I'm not even here. Randy, the coffee. 353 00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:17,930 Oh! Okay. Okay. 354 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,698 Thank you, Randy. 355 00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:22,000 I've been meaning to cut back on my caffeine. 356 00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:24,200 Here, try this. Now really go for it. 357 00:17:24,309 --> 00:17:26,209 Remember, this guy ruined your life. 358 00:17:32,818 --> 00:17:35,343 That's just the pick-me-up I needed. 359 00:17:35,454 --> 00:17:37,513 Speaking of pickups, can we try the first one again? 360 00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:43,784 - Hello? - It didn't work. 361 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,228 They hate me. How do I get them to like me again? 362 00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:48,526 You don't. Ted, you're their teacher. 363 00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:51,933 - The only people that like their teachers... - I liked my teachers. 364 00:17:52,037 --> 00:17:53,595 are dorks. 365 00:17:53,705 --> 00:17:55,036 Except for you, Miles. 366 00:17:57,409 --> 00:18:00,242 Look, Ted, you just have to learn to embrace their hatred... 367 00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:03,246 because behind that hatred lies fear. 368 00:18:03,348 --> 00:18:05,543 And you can use that fear... 369 00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:07,414 like I did with Johnny Marley. 370 00:18:07,519 --> 00:18:10,784 - Was there more to that story? - Little bit. 371 00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:31,401 Lily, you're a psychopath. 372 00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:33,068 Little bit. 373 00:18:33,178 --> 00:18:35,908 Aw, a panda. 374 00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:39,279 I thought about Lily's advice... 375 00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:41,784 and I figured fear was worth a try. 376 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:47,183 Well, Professor Mosby, is there anything you want to say to us? 377 00:18:48,327 --> 00:18:51,296 Anyone not in class tomorrow gets an "F." 378 00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:55,723 You said that? 379 00:18:55,834 --> 00:18:57,495 Well, technically, they'd get an incomplete... 380 00:18:57,603 --> 00:19:01,164 but I thought "F" had a nice scary ring to it, right? 381 00:19:01,273 --> 00:19:02,433 - Hey, guys. - Hey. 382 00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:05,305 - Robin, who'd you sleep with? - I told you. Randy. 383 00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:07,105 He was... a machine. 384 00:19:07,212 --> 00:19:10,477 Mm-hmm. Where's the poop, Robin? 385 00:19:10,582 --> 00:19:13,483 Fine. I didn't sleep with anyone. 386 00:19:13,585 --> 00:19:17,146 The thing is, ever since Becky did that commercial, everyone at work loves her. 387 00:19:17,256 --> 00:19:20,714 So the day after Halloween, I was in a commercial. 388 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,623 What? Why didn't you tell us? 389 00:19:23,795 --> 00:19:25,456 Bladder trouble... 390 00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:29,660 it's embarrassing, it's uncomfortable, and it can affect anyone. 391 00:19:29,768 --> 00:19:32,293 I'm going to the bathroom right now. 392 00:19:32,404 --> 00:19:34,565 Neat & Discreet Adult Diapers... 393 00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:36,072 for anyone. 394 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,166 Say... 395 00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:40,745 "Ahh." 396 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,484 Wow. 397 00:19:46,585 --> 00:19:48,519 I can't wait to see it. 398 00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:51,214 Hopefully you never will. They said that they might not even use it. 399 00:19:51,323 --> 00:19:52,915 It ran for seven years. 400 00:19:54,593 --> 00:19:57,221 Okay, you win. 401 00:19:57,329 --> 00:20:00,321 Maybe trashin' your office was a mistake. 402 00:20:00,432 --> 00:20:02,229 It's just, uh... 403 00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:05,531 as long as I can remember, making beer has been my dream. 404 00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,566 Wharmpess? 405 00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:15,440 I know it sounds dumb to someone who's already achieved his dream... 406 00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:17,447 big-time lawyer at a huge corporation. 407 00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:19,847 You think working here is my dream? 408 00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:21,886 Of course. 409 00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:24,615 Anyways, I'll clean this stuff up... 410 00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,953 have someone get that dead squirrel out of your desk. 411 00:20:30,629 --> 00:20:32,460 Randy? 412 00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:34,361 This is delicious. 413 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,425 You're fired. 414 00:20:40,038 --> 00:20:42,734 Kids, the next morning... 415 00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:46,368 my class had the highest attendance ever. 416 00:20:46,478 --> 00:20:48,173 And not long after that... 417 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,044 Randy used his severance money to start a little brewery. 418 00:20:51,149 --> 00:20:54,676 Now you can have a Wharmpess at every bar in America. 419 00:20:54,786 --> 00:20:56,253 And all because... 420 00:20:56,355 --> 00:20:59,847 I care about making dreams come true. 421 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,560 Got what you need? 422 00:21:02,661 --> 00:21:04,754 Yep. That's a wrap. 423 00:21:33,859 --> 00:21:34,826 English - US - SDH 33251

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