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1
00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:06,287
ANNOUNCER: Ladies
and homosexuals!
2
00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:07,746
Welcome to the Dry Hump!
3
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:11,084
Coming to the stage, we have
a very special guest tonight.
4
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:14,637
We've seen him in such films
as "Big Trouble In Little Vagina,".
5
00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:15,963
"Oceans 11 Inches."
6
00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:19,926
"Enter The Shit
Enter With A Dragon"!
7
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,603
Give it up for my main man,
8
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:28,731
Ringo-o-o-o-o Mandingo-o-o-o-o!
9
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,060
This is my main man.
10
00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:31,737
[women screaming, cheering]
11
00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:34,531
Put that ding-a-ling in ya
mouth and see how it feel!
12
00:00:34,618 --> 00:00:37,360
Mandingo is in the house!
13
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:40,196
Ding-a-ling,
ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling!
14
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:42,201
Throw your money,
baby! Throw your money!
15
00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:44,203
Throw your money
cash in the house, baby!
16
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:45,625
Come on, baby!
17
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,749
Yeah!
18
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:50,501
Mandingo-o-o-o-o-o-o!
19
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:53,880
[women screaming, cheering]
20
00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:00,344
[snaps fingers]
21
00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:02,346
[engine revs]
22
00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:06,806
[funk music plays]
23
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,641
[tires screech ]
24
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,942
Hey, you need to watch
the way you swervin'.
25
00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:13,441
You're driving Ringo
Mandingo, baby.
26
00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:16,115
I'm about to star in the biggest
porn film that's ever been seen.
27
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:18,989
I ain't got no insurance on this
here thang between my legs.
28
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,319
You know what I'm ea yin'?
29
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,280
Wait. Why are we in this alley?
30
00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:24,706
[brakes squeal]
31
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:27,376
[chainsaw sputtering]
32
00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:28,623
[ Chainsaw revs ]
33
00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:31,251
[ Screams ]
34
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:33,173
[ Splatter]
35
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:34,796
Oh... n0...
36
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,091
I' He's Dynamite J”.
37
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:41,723
"I' So dynamite J"
38
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:45,348
I' Ooohhh, ooohhh I'
39
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,146
a“ Ooohhh a“.
40
00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:48,267
A“ Ahhhh A“.
41
00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:52,059
I' He's Dynamite J”.
42
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,821
I' Dy-no, dy-no J”
43
00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:59,320
I' Ooohhh, ooohhh I'
44
00:01:59,411 --> 00:02:01,743
a " Oooohhhh I"
45
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:04,322
I' Dynamite! Dynamite! J”.
46
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,371
This week...
47
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,210
I've never seen
anything like it.
48
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,338
It's unbelievable.
49
00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:17,884
It's a terrible scene.
50
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,803
Can't believe it.
51
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:21,597
Ah, look at this.
52
00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:22,889
Damn.
53
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,787
I heard you had a
murderous killin' last night,
54
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:28,600
Chief Humphry Magilahorn,
but this shit here looks intense.
55
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:29,976
That's right, Black Dynamite,
56
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:32,308
it does look
intense... And it is.
57
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,860
My wife of 13 years
just walked out on me,
58
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:38,189
I forgot to put deodorant
on, and I got hemorrhoids in
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00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:39,865
my ass nipples.
60
00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:45,241
Hemorrhoids in your ass
nipples must make for painful farts,
61
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,915
but I think what Black
Dynamite's talkin' 'bout
62
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,459
is all these
chopped-up body parts.
63
00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:52,331
Oh. Yeah. That.
64
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:53,878
I guess that's pretty bad, too.
65
00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:56,297
This guy's body is
all over the place.
66
00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:57,671
There was a leg in the dumpster,
67
00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,502
a foot over there in
a pile of shit and a...
68
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:01,428
Hey! What's this over here?
69
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:03,638
Looks like a baby arm.
70
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,636
Cream Corn,
that's no baby arm...
71
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,217
More like an elephant trunk.
72
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,144
That's Ringo Mandingo.
73
00:03:09,231 --> 00:03:11,723
I'd recognize that
tubesteak anywhere.
74
00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:13,228
What?!
75
00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:15,650
[dramatic funk plays]
76
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,068
Oh, no!
77
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:18,771
Cousin Ringo!
78
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,481
I'm so sad to see you go.
79
00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:21,906
Bullhorn?
80
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:23,721
You mean to tell me you're
related to this Mandingo?
81
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,076
Yes.
82
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,530
Ever since we were teeny-weeny,
83
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:32,243
cousin Ringy's winky
was long like a slinky.
84
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:33,498
Mama, look here!
85
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:34,953
You gonna be amazed!
86
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,335
I finished the school
year with no missed days
87
00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,258
and 10 straight A's.
88
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,130
Uh, don't nobody
care about your grades.
89
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:45,385
Bullhorn, I'm runnin' out of
money for your Cousin Ringo.
90
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:48,137
Go upstairs and get your piggy
bank so I can give him some
91
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,389
mo' dough.
92
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,061
This is illegal somewhere.
93
00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:53,355
[ laughs]
94
00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,979
Yeah, even though
my grades were the best
95
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,401
and I could rhyme and
sing, Ringo was the one who
96
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,820
was blessed with the
supersized ding-a-ling.
97
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:01,772
Aww.
98
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:03,858
I feel so sorry
for you, Bullhorn.
99
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:06,444
I didn't know you were part
of the itty-bitty committee.
100
00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:08,028
At least you got a
good personality.
101
00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:10,285
Yeah, Ringo had it
all, and with that thang,
102
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:11,831
he could never lose.
103
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:14,285
I would give anything
and my mama
104
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,336
just to walk in his underoos.
105
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,664
Why would anyone want to
kill a man with such a big dick?
106
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:19,794
Hm.
107
00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:21,751
As soon as a black
shaft starts to rise,
108
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:22,989
the man has to bring him down.
109
00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:24,299
Can you dig it?
110
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:26,596
Nah, Black Dynamite, it
ain't the mans this time.
111
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:28,674
This is the work
of a serial killer.
112
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,851
This makes the fourth
black porn star this week.
113
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,850
They were all supposed to be
in that new interracial skin flick.
114
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:37,058
Ladies and gentlemen,
we've seen horse on horse.
115
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:40,395
We've seen horse on
girl, boy on girl, boy on boy,
116
00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:41,729
black boy on boy.
117
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:42,733
[ laughs]
118
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,406
We've seen white girl on horse.
119
00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:46,825
And now we are about to break
120
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:49,700
the last erotic
taboo there is left...
121
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:53,454
The first black-on-white porn.
122
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:56,581
"Willy Wanker And
The Chocolate Fucktory"
123
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,833
rated Triple-X.
124
00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:01,757
AGENT: The first one to get
picked off was Slappy Long Strokem,
125
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,301
then Humpy Dangle...
Darth Invader...
126
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,753
Pelvis Pressly...
Dickie Jiggler...
127
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:09,931
and n0w... Ring0 Mandingo.
128
00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:10,928
Whew!
129
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:12,180
Now, that's a mouthful.
130
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:13,510
We need to do something.
131
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,812
Now, you stay out of
this one, Black Dynamite.
132
00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:18,391
We don't need your
vigilante justice on this case.
133
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,692
Now, see there? I wasn't
even gonna take the case.
134
00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:23,316
But since you said
notto take it, I'm-a take it.
135
00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:24,771
Is that right?
136
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:26,448
Wrong or right,
right or wrong...
137
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:29,368
When a cracker tells Black
Dynamite not to do something,
138
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:30,785
he does it, Jack.
139
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,614
Well, in that case, don't
go jump off a bridge,
140
00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:35,073
Black Dynamite.
141
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,409
Your reverse honky psychology
don't work on me, Copper.
142
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:38,960
Black Dynamite's on the case.
143
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:42,790
[dramatic jazz plays ]
144
00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:43,715
OFFICER: Hey, Chief!
145
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:45,759
We found two bowling balls!
146
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,087
I' Dynamite! Dynamite! J”
147
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,016
[beep]
148
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:52,762
MOVIE DIRECTOR:
A-a-a-a-a-and action!
149
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:56,471
Did somebody order a pizza?
150
00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:57,475
[giggling ]
151
00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:58,476
Ooh.
152
00:05:58,567 --> 00:05:59,807
I thought you would never come.
153
00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:03,485
Now get in here and
give me that anchovy.
154
00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:05,258
- DIRECTOR: Cut! Cut! Cut!
- PORN STAR: [groans]
155
00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:06,864
How many times
do I have to tell you?!
156
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,031
It's "Sausage"!
157
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:11,031
An anchovy is not a
euphemism for a penis!
158
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:14,534
When have you ever heard a
man refer to his wiener as a tiny,
159
00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:15,955
smelly fish?!
160
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,999
- Urn...
- DIRECTOR: Shut... up!
161
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:19,872
Everybody, take five!
162
00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,579
I thought "Anchovies"
was a good choice.
163
00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:23,209
Black Dynamite.
164
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,917
You finally changed your
mind after all these years.
165
00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:27,672
You ready to get
back in the business?
166
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,031
I thought I told you
honkies from the
167
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,575
adult-film industry
that Black Dynamite
168
00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:32,215
don't hump on film no more.
169
00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:34,346
Now, I don't mean to
butt in on your butt flick,
170
00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:36,347
but I'm here to investigate
some porn murders.
171
00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:38,975
Have you seen anything
abnormal around here lately?
172
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,226
Hmph. I wish I have.
173
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:41,317
That's the problem.
174
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,812
Everything here is r00 normal.
175
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:46,237
Porn has gotten so ass-boring
nowadays, Black Dynamite.
176
00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:50,691
I came over to this table
to get me a little treat,
177
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:54,073
but it turns out you pink
toes are the one I want to eat.
178
00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:55,825
[ Both chuckle seductively]
179
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,203
I don't know how many places
a man can stick his anchovy
180
00:06:58,293 --> 00:06:59,875
before it becomes redundant.
181
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:00,996
You mean "Sausage"?
182
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,202
Whatever.
183
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,708
I need something different,
184
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:06,130
something unique that
hasn't been done before.
185
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:08,333
You're a bottom
bitch, I'll betcha.
186
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,135
'Cause I'm the
white pussy stretcher.
187
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,258
[ Both chuckle seductively]
188
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:15,341
My dream was to do
this "Willy Wanker" movie,
189
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:18,553
but Ringo's dead, and
those are some pretty big,
190
00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:20,137
black shorts to fill.
191
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:22,268
I'll break your heart.
Better watch out, girl.
192
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:26,148
I'm certified in cunnilingus
in all corners of the world!
193
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:27,898
[both squeal]
194
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:30,276
[ Twinkle! ]
195
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,734
[all moaning] [twinkle! ]
196
00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:33,908
Wow!
197
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,157
Look at all those
panties droppin'!
198
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:38,033
In all my years
in this business,
199
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:40,115
I have never seen
a penis do that...
200
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,746
Not even Ringo's!
201
00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:45,921
It's the way he
rhymes those words.
202
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:47,122
That's it!
203
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:49,629
I'm gonna make you a star!
204
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:53,007
A big, bright,
black, shining star!
205
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:55,840
Yes! This is good! I love it!
206
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,516
That's wonderful, Bullhorn!
207
00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:59,764
You're gonna be
famous, just like Ringo.
208
00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:01,515
They say it's the
motion of the ocean,
209
00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:03,347
not the size of the boat.
210
00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:06,684
But I guess neither one matters
when you got a sweet throat.
211
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:07,939
That should be your name...
212
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,840
"Sweet Throat"... Kind
of rolls off the tongue,
213
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:11,320
like "Cream Corn."
214
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:13,319
Okay, now. We can't
let all these sweet throats
215
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,447
and panties distract us
from our porn mission.
216
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,699
[music slows, stops]
217
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,200
Oops. Sorry.
218
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:21,281
Now, Bullhorn, I'm-a need
you to go undercover...
219
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:23,037
Deeper than you
ever been before.
220
00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:25,147
I want you to pretend to be
one of these fuckers so you can
221
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,332
bring this sucker down.
222
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:27,709
Don't worry, Black Dynamite.
223
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:30,962
I'll go deeper than any
deep-sea diver or oil driller.
224
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:35,387
I'll be the best undercover lover
and find cousin Ringo's killer.
225
00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:37,134
[ Twinkle! ]
226
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,556
Damn. He's good.
227
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:41,180
I' Dynamite! Dynamite! J”.
228
00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:48,896
Ladies, as you can see,
229
00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:50,603
I'm just an ordinary
porn star fuckin'
230
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,358
and suckin' for a check.
231
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:53,801
But would any of
you professional hoes
232
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:57,034
happen to know who rung
Ringo Manding0's neck?
233
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,736
[ Both moan ]
234
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:04,783
"Pipe Reams," take 4.
235
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:09,042
I'm too cool with a big
0|' tool that'|| make you
236
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:10,418
call your mama tonight!
237
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:12,749
And when she answers the
phone, tell her Mr. Sweet Throat
238
00:09:12,844 --> 00:09:15,302
himself is Ia yin' the
windpipes just right.
239
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:16,719
[moans]
240
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:17,841
[ Twinkle! ]
241
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:19,138
Yes! This is good!
242
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:22,559
[telephone rings]
243
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:23,851
Hello?
244
00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,428
Is it me you're Iookin' for?
245
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:26,729
Bullhorn, what's the skinny?
246
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,727
You find this
serial-killin' turkey yet?
247
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:31,276
Sorry, Black Dynamite, but
I ain't got no time to waste.
248
00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:34,195
Right about now, Sweet Throat
has to get back on the case.
249
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:35,509
BLACK DYNAMITE: Well, let
me know if you need some help,
250
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:37,274
because I ain't really
doing shit right now.
251
00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:38,779
[ Click, dial tone]
252
00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:39,972
TELEPHONE OPERATOR:
We're sorry. If you'd like...
253
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,907
Black Dynamite
ain't used to waiting
254
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:43,409
for nobody to do nothing.
255
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:46,220
I got to think of something to
take my mind off of all this thinking.
256
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:48,660
"Facial Delivery," take 2.
257
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,873
Special delivery
for Ms. Mary Mack.
258
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,877
I can give it to you
here in the front
259
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:55,629
or I can put it in the back.
260
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:56,720
[moans] [ Twinkle! ]
261
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:58,841
DIRECTOR: Yes! I love it!
262
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:02,933
[shutters click, crowd cheers ]
263
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:07,350
[ Crowd chants "Sweet Throat!" ]
264
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,640
Suey Suey Suey Suey Suey!
265
00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:13,272
"Spontaneous
Cumbustin'," take 5.
266
00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:16,563
Ma'am, I got a complaint
that some pussy was
267
00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:17,864
stuck in a tree.
268
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,783
If anybody can get that cat,
269
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:22,156
you can bet your
vagingo it's gonna be me.
270
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:23,658
[ Moans ] [ twinkle! ]
271
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,518
MOVIE DIRECTOR: Oh, my
God. This is fucking gorgeous!
272
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:26,407
[crowd cheering ]
273
00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:29,664
Rack focus! Rack focus!
274
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,415
Yes! I love it!
275
00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:33,998
[ Crowd chants "Sweet Throat!" ]
276
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:37,175
Black Dynamite.
277
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,969
Black Dynamite!!
278
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,700
Honey Bee, what did I
tell you about interruptin'
279
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:42,930
my J-Ump-ropin'?
280
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,995
Man, you got this place
smellin' like hot-dog water.
281
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:46,555
You need to get
out of this dojo.
282
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:47,886
You been here for two weeks.
283
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:48,891
[telephone rings]
284
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,143
Hello?
285
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:52,253
Black Dynamite, I know you
told me not to interrupt your
286
00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:54,894
jump-roping, but this
is getting really serious.
287
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,757
Please don't tell me another
black dick is in the dirt.
288
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,112
No.
289
00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:01,533
It's way, way worse than a
black dick this time, Dynamite.
290
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:03,235
It's a white woman!
291
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:04,694
[dramatic notes play]
292
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,269
And she's white!
[dramatic notes play]
293
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:09,166
Chief Magilahorn, no disrespect,
but crackers come and go.
294
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:10,252
What else you got?
295
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,295
One more thing.
296
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:13,495
There's only two
black porn stars left,
297
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:16,378
and if somebody
slays Isaac La yes...
298
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:18,708
then your man Bullhorn is next.
299
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:21,420
[dramatic funk plays]
300
00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:24,422
Damn. With a sting like that,
301
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,474
I know it's got to
be some heavy shit.
302
00:11:26,561 --> 00:11:27,561
Don't you worry, Chief.
303
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,227
You told me not
to catch this turkey,
304
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:31,305
so I promised to catch
him. [ Receiver clicks ]
305
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:32,514
Everything all right, B.D.?
306
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,691
No. Things are getting
deeper and deeper
307
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:36,643
within the thighs
of this porn case,
308
00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,841
and I haven't heard a thing
from Bullhorn this whole time
309
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:40,151
I've been jumping this rope.
310
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,343
I'm sure everything's
gonna be fine,
311
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:42,232
Black Dynamite.
312
00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:43,362
Give Bullhorn a chance.
313
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:44,739
He might surprise you.
314
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:45,869
But if he donTsurprise me,
315
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,538
he might wake up dead.
316
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:55,287
Isaac La yes, being a
porn star is better than sex.
317
00:11:55,381 --> 00:12:00,046
All the fame, all the dames,
all the motherfucking checks.
318
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,422
[ laughs]
319
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:02,673
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
320
00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:03,879
It's all right, I guess.
321
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:06,180
But I sure do miss
your cousin Ringo.
322
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:09,009
You know, even though he did
have a supersized ding-a-ling,
323
00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:12,767
he was always jealous of you
'cause you could rhyme and sing.
324
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:15,349
Hey, well, I'd love to hang
out with you some more,
325
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:18,731
Sweet Throat, but I gots to go
read this "Willy Wanker" script.
326
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:20,812
You see, it was supposed
to be Ringo's role,
327
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:23,740
but since we're the only
two black porn stars left,
328
00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:27,114
looks like we gettin' all
the work from now on, baby.
329
00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:38,626
[ominous music plays]
330
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:41,754
You a bad motherfucker.
No, youa bad motherfucker.
331
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:45,587
No, you a bad
m0ther... Shut yo' mouth!
332
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,926
My grave __.
333
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:54,228
I' Dynamite! Dynamite! J”
334
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:01,904
[engine idling]
335
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:05,615
[engine revs]
336
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:08,364
[funk music plays]
337
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:11,617
Hold on to your hoohahs
and your chachas,
338
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:14,325
'cause Sweet Throat gotcha!
339
00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:15,659
[women screaming, cheering]
340
00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:18,211
They call me Sweet Dick
Willy, the three-hole filler
341
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:21,791
'cause I'm a thrilla in vanilla
and the bedspring killer!
342
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:24,467
[ laughs]
343
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:31,091
[laughing]
344
00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:34,098
Bullhorn, what kind of triple-x
treachery has taken over you?
345
00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:35,269
"Bu||h0rn"?
346
00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:38,940
Man, I'm so loved
and motherfuckin' rich!
347
00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:42,986
From now on, you call
me "Sweet Throat," bitch!
348
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:45,279
[ laughs]
349
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:48,154
I got a riddle for you
tonight that's outta sight!
350
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:51,657
What did the five
fingers say to the black...
351
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:55,742
I' Dynamite! Dynamite! J”.
352
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,327
Security! Security!!
353
00:13:58,421 --> 00:14:00,458
I need you to secure me!
354
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,549
Suey!
355
00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:06,217
[ High-pitched ] Mama.
356
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,138
Bullhorn, I knew you
was way in over your head,
357
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:11,424
but it's worse than I thought.
358
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:13,342
You way in over your
head and your body.
359
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:15,456
The only reason I wanted
you to stick your dick in the porn
360
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,124
business was to catch
this serial killer with it.
361
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:19,310
But I see you're only
using it to live the life.
362
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,840
Now, I know you're having fun
making whoopee with your throat,
363
00:14:21,903 --> 00:14:23,922
but there's still a killer out
there on the loose that has a
364
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,653
bullet with "Bullhorn"
written all over it.
365
00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:27,856
Black Dynamite, you were
blessed with the talent to
366
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,440
fuck up a sucker.
367
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:32,493
/was blessed with the talent
to rhyme "sucker" with "fucker".
368
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:35,618
I'm bigger than any
serial killer could ever be.
369
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,575
So how 'bout you go
solve crimes and kick ass
370
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:41,252
and just let me be me?
371
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,671
[siren wailing in distance]
372
00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:51,178
[slurping 1 It's my
fault, Honey Bee.
373
00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:52,993
I should have been the
undercover dick in this porn
374
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,382
case instead of Bullhorn,
375
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,277
and then he wouldn't
be experiencing the life.
376
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:58,974
Well, Black Dynamite,
they do say experience
377
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,180
is the best teacher.
378
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:03,107
Yeah, but somebody's
got to teach experience.
379
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:04,434
Never mind.
380
00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:05,940
It sounded deep
when I thought it.
381
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,384
I just wish I could think deep
about who this killer is so we
382
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:09,614
can save Bullhorn.
383
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,190
Here you go, Black Dynamite.
384
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:12,650
Two orders of grits and jello.
385
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,866
ErlJOY-[dramatic music plays]
386
00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:16,867
Wait.
387
00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:19,074
Roscoe, say what
you just said again.
388
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:20,168
"E njoy"?
389
00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:21,372
No. Before that.
390
00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:22,689
"Two orders of grits and jello"?
391
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:23,623
Before that.
392
00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:24,714
"Here gonl?"
393
00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:26,631
After that.
394
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:27,717
"Black Dynamite"?
395
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:28,670
Yes!
396
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,968
And what's on Black
Dynamite's plate?
397
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:33,012
Grits and jello?
398
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,885
Exactly!
399
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:36,078
Quick... what does jello do,
400
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,467
beside taste shitty with grits?
401
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:38,472
Wiggle?
402
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:39,563
Jiggle!
403
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,979
And why is jello so
wiggly and jiggly?
404
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:45,400
Jello is so wiggly and jiggly
because it's made with gelatin,
405
00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:48,820
which is formed with the protein
molecules found in a fibrous
406
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,237
material called collagen.
407
00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:55,114
That can also be found in cream
cheese, gravies, sausage, and
408
00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:56,035
marshmallows!
409
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,328
That's right.
410
00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:58,415
Marshmallows.
411
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,394
And what do you call a
marshmallow with a layer of
412
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:03,080
chocolate, sandwiched between
two pieces of graham crackers
413
00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:04,171
at a campfire?
414
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:05,294
A S'more!
415
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:07,839
You damn right, Honey Bee,
and I'm-a give you some more.
416
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:09,962
Now, what's the only
thing blacker than a s'm0re
417
00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,508
that's not at a campfire?
418
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:12,631
Chuck Berry.
419
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,258
Close, but blacker than that.
420
00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:15,838
A Black Panther.
421
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:19,016
Now, the only panthers we
know that ain't black are what?
422
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:20,514
Pink!
423
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:23,017
Now, everybody... what's the
theme from "The Pink Panther"?
424
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:26,475
ALL: D Da dunk, da dunk,
da dunk, da dunt, da dunk D.
425
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:29,357
Now rewind that
and slow it down.
426
00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:31,154
ALL: ♪ Da-dant,
dad-ant, dad-ant...
427
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,526
Dead ant!
428
00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:34,984
And when an ant ain't
dead, he lives in a colony,
429
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:36,909
and another word
for "Colony" is...?
430
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,578
A clan?
431
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:39,699
Which is short for...?
432
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:41,155
Ku Klux Klan!
433
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,365
Right.
434
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,042
So what they're
really saying is...
435
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:48,873
The Black Panthers and
the Klan took out Ringo!
436
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:51,128
They're the only ones
that wouldnTwant to see a
437
00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:54,587
black willy inside a white lily!
438
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,296
Honey Bee, you
follow these fuck flicks.
439
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:59,178
When is the filming of this
black-and-white chocolate fucktory.
440
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,350
Oh shit Black Dynamite...
I think it's tonight.
441
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,373
We got to do something
quick, fast, and in a hurry,
442
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:04,853
and we can't waste no time.
443
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:09,105
Honey Bee, Cream Corn, let's
make like a banana and split.
444
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,276
That's it!
445
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:13,321
The Black Panthers and
the Klan took out Ringo!
446
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:15,819
I' Dynamite! Dynamite!
447
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,780
A-a-a-a-and action!
448
00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:25,493
Ladies, hold your breast,
make a wish, and count to three.
449
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:31,457
Willy Wanker's about to fulfill
all your chocolate fantasies.
450
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,212
Come with me.
451
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:34,963
I will please.
452
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:38,092
In a world that's
purely interracial.
453
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:42,346
On your knees, little
sleaze, and you'll see
454
00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,427
when you perform fellatio.
455
00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:47,977
The only way to
make things proppa...
456
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:51,435
is to suck on my
everlasting gobstoppa!
457
00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:56,899
You can suck it till tomorra...
and it'll never get smalla!
458
00:17:56,993 --> 00:18:00,034
I'll begin... in your end...
459
00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:03,284
with a swirl of
chocolate penetration.
460
00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:06,370
What you'll feel...
will exceed...
461
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:09,498
any Caucasian expectations.
462
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:14,541
Honkies, don't try this at
home, 'cause you might break
463
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:15,466
your bone.
464
00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:16,759
[moans]
465
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:21,556
If you want to feel paradise,
simply drop your drawers
466
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:22,973
and screw it.
467
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:26,098
Anything you want, we'll do it.
468
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:28,850
Want a ménage é trots?
469
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,773
Ain't a damn thing to it.
470
00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:31,895
Uh-oh.
471
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:34,569
Looks like too many
umpa humpas in the rumpa.
472
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:39,365
There's no honky that
I know that compares
473
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,568
to willy and his wanker.
474
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:44,529
Once you go black,
you won't go back.
475
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:47,867
Yes, it's true...
We do all pack.
476
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,418
[shotguns cock ]
477
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:55,123
Why don't you drop
that black wanker, Willy?
478
00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:56,833
[guns cock]
479
00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:58,463
You heard the
pecker... Drop the dick.
480
00:18:58,554 --> 00:18:59,573
Put it on the floor. Yeah.
481
00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:01,008
This is good! Keep rolling.
482
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:04,056
This can't be the dream
Martin Luther King had in sight.
483
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:07,511
When the Ku Klux Klan and
Black Panthers would unite to fight.
484
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:08,891
That's "Black Pumas."
485
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,642
Huey P. Already
trademarked the panther.
486
00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:12,586
As it turns out, not only
was Huey P. A hell of a
487
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:15,318
revolutionary, he was
also extremely litigious.
488
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:17,507
Now, the Black Pumas and the
Ku Klux Klan members all over
489
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:20,010
the world have worked too long
and hard to establish our hatred
490
00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:22,275
for each other for you porn
stars to come along with one
491
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:24,862
interracial fuck flick
and take it all away!
492
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:27,538
Do you know how many
|ynchin's and cross-burnin's it
493
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:28,956
took to get here?
494
00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:33,753
You have no idea what
kind of sacrifices we've made,
495
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,204
do you, boy?
496
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:37,219
So yeah, we have come
together for a short period
497
00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:39,884
of time to stop you
counterrevolutionary motherfuckers.
498
00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:42,962
'Cause once you open
them black-on-white
499
00:19:43,057 --> 00:19:44,138
fuck gates...
500
00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:45,511
They'll never be able to close.
501
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:46,703
Hang him by the balls, bubbah!
502
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:49,515
Kiss your black willy
goodbye, porn boy.
503
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:52,222
[gunshot]
504
00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,557
I' Dynamite! Dynamite! J”.
505
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:56,934
What the hell?!
506
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,799
If you're wondering
where the real crackers are,
507
00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:00,359
let's just say they're tied up.
508
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:01,735
[ Muffled groans ]
509
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:03,987
'Cause I tied 'em up.
510
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:05,847
From the look of things,
I thought this would be
511
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:08,579
the last time a motherfucker
would hear me rhyme,
512
00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:12,250
but my main man, Black
Dynamite, came right on time.
513
00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:15,124
Now ain't the time for this
Kumbaya shit. Bullhorn,
514
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,546
let's go integrate our
feet in some racist ass!
515
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,294
Yes! I love it!
516
00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:20,671
Roll the music!
517
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:22,468
[funk music plays]
518
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,510
Ahhhh!
519
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:27,510
Wait! We all brothers!
520
00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:28,432
Suey!
521
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,180
"No! [GUnShQt]"
522
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,622
Get her! Get her! Get
her! Get her! Get her!
523
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:41,947
[Klansmen groaning]
524
00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:43,112
BULLHORN: Sucka, take that!
525
00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:46,402
This mushroom dick in your ass!
526
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:47,735
[thud]
527
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,165
I'm sorry, Black Dynamite.
528
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,867
I was way out of my league.
529
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:57,704
Curiosity killed the cat,
but Sweet Thr... I mean,
530
00:20:57,798 --> 00:21:00,586
Bullhorn was almost
murdered by greed.
531
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:02,087
It's okay, Bullhorn.
532
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:04,840
I think the most important thing
we learned is that, sometimes,
533
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:08,013
having a giantjohnson is just
enough rope to hang yourself.
534
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:11,593
The moral of the day
is, "Bullhorn shouldn't get
535
00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:13,540
paid for gettin' laid,
because a bird in the hand
536
00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:16,397
is worth two in the
bush or three in the tush."
537
00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:18,044
Wait... was that the
moral of the story?
538
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,351
I thought it was not mixing
pornos with friendships.
539
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:21,882
Or was that mixing
pumas and crackers?
540
00:21:21,906 --> 00:21:23,112
No.
541
00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:25,736
The moral was definitely
"don't fuck with a white bitch",
542
00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:27,316
or you'll end up dead.
543
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:29,869
I' Dynamite! Dynamite! J”.
544
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,662
DIRECTOR: And
cut! That's a wrap!
39596
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