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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,438 --> 00:00:03,655 . 2 00:00:03,699 --> 00:00:05,744 - "Will & Grace" is recorded in front of 3 00:00:05,788 --> 00:00:06,789 a live studio audience. 4 00:00:06,832 --> 00:00:08,747 - Hey, check this out. 5 00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:10,140 I got it for the trip. 6 00:00:10,184 --> 00:00:13,317 It's called an Astro Pillow. So-- 7 00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:14,971 [grunts] 8 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,321 You put it on like this, 9 00:00:17,365 --> 00:00:20,063 you put down your tray table, and... 10 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:27,070 You can sleep like this. Isn't it cool? 11 00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:31,901 Grace, could you-- could you help me? 12 00:00:31,944 --> 00:00:33,250 It's a little snug. 13 00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:35,339 - Do it yourself. How else will you learn? 14 00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:37,167 - Grace, I can't breathe! 15 00:00:37,211 --> 00:00:39,561 I'm Sandra Bullock in "Gravity"! 16 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,348 You were going to let me die in there. 17 00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:46,089 - I would never let you die. 18 00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:47,873 Then who would be around to criticize me? 19 00:00:47,917 --> 00:00:49,527 - [groans] 20 00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:52,008 Okay, I'm sorry about the other night. 21 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:55,055 I should never have said that you can do better than Noah. 22 00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:56,534 - So you don't think I can do better? 23 00:00:56,578 --> 00:00:58,362 - To be clear, I shouldn't have said it. 24 00:00:58,406 --> 00:01:01,757 - Oh, my God, you just can't help yourself. 25 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,064 - The guy bails on your good friend's wedding, why? 26 00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:05,369 Because he's got a "buddy" in town? 27 00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:06,892 - Hey, we are not doing this today. 28 00:01:06,936 --> 00:01:09,460 It's Jack's wedding. - All right, you're right. 29 00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:10,809 - And Noah's friend is only in for three days. 30 00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:13,595 - That is such a lame-- - No, not today. 31 00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:16,119 And the wedding is in Spain. That's a big ask. 32 00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:19,209 - He made a commit-- - Not..today! 33 00:01:19,253 --> 00:01:21,081 [upbeat piano music] 34 00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:24,562 - Hi, Jack McFarland, BTB, bride to be. 35 00:01:24,606 --> 00:01:28,740 Um, is it possible to arrange a surprise announcement 36 00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:32,918 from the pilot congratulating me on my upcoming nip-shuls? 37 00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:34,572 - Sorry, the flight's been delayed. 38 00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:36,400 Bad weather in Spain. - No, no, no. 39 00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:38,881 It can't be delayed. Check again. 40 00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:41,666 Do the thing where you do this. 41 00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,364 - Okay. 42 00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:46,932 It's delayed. 43 00:01:46,976 --> 00:01:50,414 - Well, she checked. 44 00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:53,330 - Let me take a crack at this one, boys. 45 00:01:53,374 --> 00:01:55,680 If you can get this tin bird moving, 46 00:01:55,724 --> 00:02:00,337 I'll blow into your tubes until you're fully inflated. 47 00:02:02,818 --> 00:02:06,169 - Karen, you're not a lesbian. - Oh, really? 48 00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:08,954 Then why is my hot new lesbian girlfriend 49 00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:10,521 about to meet me here? 50 00:02:10,565 --> 00:02:14,308 There, I said it. She's black. 51 00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:19,226 - Oh, look, the flight's no longer delayed. 52 00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:20,357 - Oh. - Oh, thank God. 53 00:02:20,401 --> 00:02:21,793 - It's cancelled. 54 00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:24,970 [upbeat trumpet and piano music] 55 00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:32,239 ♪ 56 00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:35,720 - Wait, so the wedding's on hold. 57 00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:37,287 - Eh. - How's Jack taking it? 58 00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:40,160 [horn beeps] - Why? 59 00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:45,252 - So, look, I have something big to tell you. 60 00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:47,167 - McCoy Whitman, is that you? - Yeah. 61 00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:48,820 - Ooh, can I get a picture with you? 62 00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,648 - Yeah, sure thing. 63 00:02:50,692 --> 00:02:51,823 [shutter snaps] 64 00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:53,564 All right. - You want to check it? 65 00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:55,349 - They're always good. - Oh. 66 00:02:58,134 --> 00:03:00,354 - It looks like the network is going to make me 67 00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:02,225 Chief London Correspondent. 68 00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:04,836 - That's your dream job! - I know. 69 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,491 It's going to be so great. - So why does it-- 70 00:03:07,535 --> 00:03:09,145 - Because I'd be living in London, 71 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:13,105 and you'd be living here, and we'd be so far apart! 72 00:03:13,149 --> 00:03:15,760 - Hi, we're huge fans. Can we-- 73 00:03:15,804 --> 00:03:18,850 - Of course. Yes. - Oh, gosh! 74 00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:20,809 [shutter snaps] 75 00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:22,854 - What are we going to do? - Well, we'll be okay. 76 00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:25,988 I mean, lots of couples make the long-distance thing work. 77 00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:28,120 - Name one. 78 00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:29,992 You can't! 79 00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:32,299 - Um, that guy was in the picture, so do-- 80 00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:33,387 - Let's take another. - Oh, good! 81 00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:34,692 - All right. 82 00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:35,693 [shutter snaps] 83 00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:37,521 - Oh, I look bad in this one, too. 84 00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:39,044 - Everyone looks bad next to him! 85 00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:41,177 Move it along. 86 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,787 - Jack. - Ohh... 87 00:03:42,831 --> 00:03:44,702 please tell me you found a way for us to get to Spain. 88 00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:48,532 - Oh, wouldn't that be nice? But no. 89 00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:51,666 We are getting married at midnight 90 00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:56,584 right here at gate 35A! The nicest of the 35s. 91 00:03:58,586 --> 00:04:00,457 Papi, I know it's not Spain, 92 00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:03,025 but at least our wedding will not be on a Tuesday. 93 00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:04,374 - Oh, thank God. 94 00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:06,333 Because we wouldn't want our wedding to be cursed 95 00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:08,030 by being forced to have it at an-- 96 00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:10,424 oh, I don't know, an airport! 97 00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:18,388 What--what, do you want to have our honeymoon in a men's room? 98 00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:22,349 - Jack, that's where we had our second date. 99 00:04:22,392 --> 00:04:24,612 [upbeat piano music] 100 00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:26,875 . 101 00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:29,747 - Welcome to the pre-wedding cocktail hour. 102 00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:35,405 As you can all see, this is not a castle on a hill in Spain. 103 00:04:35,449 --> 00:04:39,496 But Estefan did find an airport White Castle. 104 00:04:41,193 --> 00:04:44,980 And this jar of Spanish olives for the reception. 105 00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:48,766 So... 106 00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:51,291 yay. 107 00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:54,076 There will also be no unicorn dessert station, 108 00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:55,382 no magical up-lighting. 109 00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:57,427 I mean, it's an airport. There's nothing. 110 00:04:57,471 --> 00:04:59,429 [laughs] 111 00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:00,865 [sobs] 112 00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:02,432 - Who's going to perform the ceremony? 113 00:05:02,476 --> 00:05:06,131 - That part is set. Estefan's tio,Alberto. 114 00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:09,918 He's a judge on "Spain's Got Talent." 115 00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:15,532 - Isn't he in Spain? - Your point? 116 00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:19,319 - Five, four, three, two... 117 00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:29,329 - Excuse me. 118 00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:34,856 - Oh, my God, I didn't even think of this. 119 00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:37,467 If Jack's getting married here, Noah can come. 120 00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:39,382 I'm going to call him. - I have no opinion on that. 121 00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:41,079 - I wasn't asking for your opinion. 122 00:05:41,123 --> 00:05:42,864 - Well, none was offered. - None was requested. 123 00:05:42,907 --> 00:05:44,300 - Nor was one forthcoming. 124 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,346 - Oh, go put your head condom back on. 125 00:05:48,304 --> 00:05:50,393 - So I just got off the phone with the network, 126 00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:52,787 and it turns out I didn't get the job. 127 00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:56,791 - What, no! Darn it, those dummies. 128 00:05:56,834 --> 00:05:58,445 [grunts] 129 00:05:58,488 --> 00:06:01,491 - It's okay if you're happy. - I am, I'm sorry. 130 00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:03,058 But I'm thrilled for us. 131 00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:05,277 We both know the long-distance thing never works. 132 00:06:05,321 --> 00:06:07,584 - Yes, I agree, and that's why I told them 133 00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:09,194 thanks but no thanks. 134 00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:12,807 - Wait, why did you thank them for not giving you a job? 135 00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:14,548 - Well, I was just being polite. 136 00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:15,853 You know how the Brits are. 137 00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,594 [British accent] Tut-tut, spot of tea. 138 00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:20,292 On your marks, get set, bake! 139 00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:25,123 Okay, they--they offered me the job, but I said no. 140 00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:29,258 - Sweetie, you can't turn down your dream job because of me. 141 00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:31,695 - I don't want to lose you. - Well, if you stay, 142 00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:35,133 you'll end up resenting me. I couldn't stand that. 143 00:06:36,265 --> 00:06:39,703 You got to call them back. 144 00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:42,227 - I know. 145 00:06:43,707 --> 00:06:45,753 - Another round, barkeep. 146 00:06:45,796 --> 00:06:49,539 - Hello, Mrs. Walker. - Smitty? 147 00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:51,367 You work here, too? 148 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,849 - Because of all the death and illness in my family, 149 00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:57,068 I have to work multiple jobs. 150 00:06:57,112 --> 00:07:00,289 Though I guess dancing while Wall Street guys 151 00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:03,118 throw lit cigarettes at me, well, 152 00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:06,426 that's not really a job. 153 00:07:14,346 --> 00:07:19,439 - Oh, Smitty. You are a treasure. 154 00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:22,920 If I wasn't a lesbian, I would kiss you. 155 00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:25,749 I'm a lesbian now. - You are? 156 00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:30,580 Oh, my gaydar must be going the way of my hearing 157 00:07:30,624 --> 00:07:32,582 and--and my sense of smell, 158 00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:36,978 and--and my ability to digest solid food. 159 00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:39,067 - [laughs] 160 00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:46,291 Smitty, you got to give a gal a chance to breathe. 161 00:07:48,772 --> 00:07:51,296 [laughs] 162 00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:57,085 Oh, it's just that after my marriage ended, 163 00:07:57,128 --> 00:08:01,089 I didn't know who I was or what I wanted. 164 00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:03,570 And then, Nikki came along and told me. 165 00:08:03,613 --> 00:08:08,836 And now, I am exactly who I'm supposed to be. 166 00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:11,969 I think. 167 00:08:12,013 --> 00:08:14,972 I don't know. 168 00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:19,063 - Did you ever think that maybe you're not gay? 169 00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:22,806 You're just lost. 170 00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:25,417 - [laughs] 171 00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:32,816 Wait a minute, that's not funny. 172 00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:35,036 [bright piano music] 173 00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:37,560 - Chardonnay, please. 174 00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:40,389 Noah's not coming. We do not need to get into it. 175 00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:41,521 - Ah. 176 00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:43,348 - That is such a "you" thing to say. 177 00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:46,134 - Mm. - Oh, now you're lecturing me? 178 00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:49,833 I get it, it's a bummer. He's a bummer. 179 00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:52,575 Are you happy? - Are you happy? 180 00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:57,754 - I'm happy enough. Noah is kind, and he loves me. 181 00:08:57,798 --> 00:09:00,931 You get to a point in your life where you're lucky 182 00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:03,368 if you get 60% of what you want. 183 00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:05,066 - Grace-- - It's not sad. 184 00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:06,850 It's a reality. - Don't say that. 185 00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,591 You-- - No, do not tell me 186 00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:11,812 that I could do better, because I can't. 187 00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:14,858 I can't do better. - Wow. 188 00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:18,949 I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. 189 00:09:18,993 --> 00:09:22,649 Because if you did, you'd know you deserve 100% 190 00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:25,173 of what you want. 191 00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:28,176 [groovy piano music] 192 00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:30,787 ♪ 193 00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:32,963 . 194 00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:34,617 - We have another problem. 195 00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,184 We don't have anybody to marry us. 196 00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:40,231 - You big gay bitch! 197 00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:45,454 I just found out that you're getting married, 198 00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:47,064 and you didn't invite me! 199 00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:49,240 - I know, I'm so sorry. We totally forgot. 200 00:09:49,284 --> 00:09:50,807 - That bothers me, Jack. 201 00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:54,071 If I wasn't on my way to Tampa to marry my sister-- 202 00:09:54,115 --> 00:09:57,814 - Hey, you cannot marry your sister. 203 00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:02,340 - In Florida, you can. 204 00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:08,825 - I'm not marrying her, you dummies. 205 00:10:08,869 --> 00:10:13,047 I'm performing the ceremony. I'm ordained. 206 00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:16,877 - Wait, you can marry people? Would you ever consider, like-- 207 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,880 - All right, I'll do it for 75 bucks. 208 00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:22,143 - 25 bucks. - 100. 209 00:10:22,186 --> 00:10:25,581 - 200. - You got yourself a deal. 210 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,584 [bright piano music] 211 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,673 ♪ 212 00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:31,718 - Oh! 213 00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:33,676 Oh, oh! - Oh! 214 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,199 - I'm so sorry. - No, no, no, no, no. 215 00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:37,941 I'm sorry, I just-- I bit into the-- 216 00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:40,857 - Gooey center? - I call it the pearl. 217 00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:44,731 Oh, please, don't stop eating. 218 00:10:44,774 --> 00:10:48,691 - That is the nicest thing a guy has ever said to me. 219 00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:51,651 - I find that kind of hard to believe. 220 00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:53,174 You know, I was going to get one of those 221 00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:55,045 sad little airport cookies, but then, I thought 222 00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:56,743 "why settle for mediocrity 223 00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:59,093 when there is this deliciousness out there?" 224 00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:02,705 - Agreed. 225 00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:05,055 - Marcus. - Grace. 226 00:11:05,099 --> 00:11:07,449 - Where you headed? - Nowhere. 227 00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:09,756 My friend is getting married here in the airport. 228 00:11:09,799 --> 00:11:11,671 - Oh, that's where I want to get married. 229 00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:13,716 - Really? - No. 230 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,370 [laughs] 231 00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:17,372 Just my indelicate way of telling you 232 00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:19,243 that I'm not married. 233 00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:21,028 - Smooth. - Yeah. 234 00:11:21,071 --> 00:11:22,159 [chuckles] 235 00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:25,336 - Where you going? - Uh, Italy. 236 00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:29,471 Yeah, then France, and then, I don't know where. 237 00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:32,430 - Wow, that sounds amazing. - Yeah, yeah. 238 00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:35,651 I just--I woke up one day, and I thought... 239 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,435 I don't know, you ever just have one of those moments 240 00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:40,700 where you just-- you rethink your entire life? 241 00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:42,179 - Constantly. 242 00:11:42,223 --> 00:11:43,703 - [chuckles] 243 00:11:43,746 --> 00:11:45,661 - How long you going away for? 244 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,141 - Mm, as long as it makes me happy. 245 00:11:47,184 --> 00:11:48,838 - Oh. - And as long as I 246 00:11:48,882 --> 00:11:51,798 can pass for a Canadian. - I wish I could do that. 247 00:11:51,841 --> 00:11:54,757 Not the Canadian part. I'm too loud. 248 00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:57,847 The dropping everything and just taking off thing. 249 00:11:57,891 --> 00:12:00,763 - Oh, then do it. - Oh, I-- 250 00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:01,938 [scoffs] 251 00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:03,679 I don't do stuff like that. 252 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,987 - What, something you want to do when you want to do it? 253 00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:10,381 - Don't make it sound reasonable. 254 00:12:10,425 --> 00:12:13,907 - Look, sometimes, the things we do without thinking, 255 00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:17,127 they end up being the best things that we ever do. 256 00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:19,173 - Really? Because I have a Bowflex 257 00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:21,871 and cargo pants that would say otherwise. 258 00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:29,052 - Hey, you wouldn't want to-- with-- 259 00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:30,967 Oh--oh, man, forget it. 260 00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:33,187 I'm--I'm going to sound like a crazy person. 261 00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:38,540 Uh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You just--you seemed so-- 262 00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:39,846 [stammers] 263 00:12:39,889 --> 00:12:42,892 Forgive me. Okay, enjoy your wedding. 264 00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:45,852 - Hey. - Yeah? 265 00:12:45,895 --> 00:12:48,768 - Points for almost asking. 266 00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:54,425 [bright piano music] 267 00:12:54,469 --> 00:12:55,731 - Hey, babe. 268 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,515 - [laughs] 269 00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:58,952 - So wait, what was the thinking 270 00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:00,823 behind getting married at an airport? 271 00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:03,086 The DMV was booked? 272 00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:06,263 - [clears throat] 273 00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:09,919 Look, um, I need to say something. 274 00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:13,009 You know how I've said that being with you 275 00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:17,013 has changed me, and you've said that 276 00:13:17,057 --> 00:13:22,192 maybe I'm not being totally honest with myself. 277 00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:23,846 - What are you trying to say? 278 00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:28,546 - Mm, what do you think I'm trying to say? 279 00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,766 - Karen, I can't say it for you. 280 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:31,898 - [exhales] 281 00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:35,989 It's just so hard. I just-- 282 00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:39,514 I've realized that... 283 00:13:39,557 --> 00:13:42,430 I am... 284 00:13:42,473 --> 00:13:43,779 [exhales] 285 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,259 [chuckles] 286 00:13:45,302 --> 00:13:49,611 Why can't I say the word? Why can't I just say it? 287 00:13:49,654 --> 00:13:54,921 What--what is wrong with me? Why am I so ashamed? 288 00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:59,447 Why can't I just speak my truth and be who I am? 289 00:13:59,490 --> 00:14:00,622 Nikki... 290 00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:01,623 [button clicks] 291 00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:03,016 I'm straight. 292 00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:05,148 [echoing] I'm straight, I'm straight... 293 00:14:05,192 --> 00:14:07,847 I'm straight... I'm straight...I'm straight... 294 00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:10,240 - There are children around! 295 00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:12,852 [bright musical flourish] 296 00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:14,941 . 297 00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:18,945 - So, about to be married at an airport. 298 00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:21,338 Worst wedding since Batman married Robin 299 00:14:21,382 --> 00:14:24,602 in that filthy cave. 300 00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:26,430 - Look at it this way. 301 00:14:26,474 --> 00:14:29,042 You waited for the right one. You didn't settle. 302 00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:31,914 - You didn't care about the distance or the obstacles. 303 00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:34,786 - And you're both really, truly gay. 304 00:14:36,745 --> 00:14:39,139 It's not like one of you is gay and black 305 00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:41,968 and the other one is white, straight, and lost. 306 00:14:42,011 --> 00:14:45,188 ["Here Comes The Bride" plays] 307 00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:52,456 ♪ 308 00:14:55,938 --> 00:15:00,029 - Buddy, this is your moment. Today, it's all about you. 309 00:15:00,073 --> 00:15:03,990 - I have waited to hear you say that for 30 years. 310 00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:08,037 - If you hurt my Jackie, 311 00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:11,562 I know someone who will reach up inside you 312 00:15:11,606 --> 00:15:14,783 and turn you inside out. 313 00:15:14,826 --> 00:15:16,132 - [purrs] 314 00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:18,787 - No, not in the good way. 315 00:15:21,311 --> 00:15:23,618 - Thank you. 316 00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:27,187 - Gracias. [coins rattle] 317 00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:33,236 Mi amor, you look beautiful. 318 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,935 - I know. 319 00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:39,025 - Queerly beloved, we are gathered here 320 00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:43,072 under this extremely harsh lighting 321 00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:46,423 that I wouldn't wish on my evil twin sister-- 322 00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:49,774 she should rot in Hell-- 323 00:15:49,818 --> 00:15:53,648 to unite these two "men"... 324 00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:57,869 In holy matrimony. 325 00:15:57,913 --> 00:16:00,655 And now, I believe that both Jack and Estefan 326 00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:03,614 have prepared their own vows. Jack? 327 00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:07,270 - Estefan, you know me well enough to know 328 00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:12,275 that I have prepared nothing. 329 00:16:12,319 --> 00:16:13,973 - It's true, I know that. 330 00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:17,498 - For months, all I've ever talked about 331 00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:19,413 was having the perfect wedding. 332 00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:22,807 I wanted it to be the greatest moment of my life. 333 00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:27,943 And now, standing here, looking in your eyes... 334 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,771 - [exhales] 335 00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:33,557 - I know I got exactly what I wanted. 336 00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:36,996 This is perfect. 337 00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:39,868 - Flight 201 to Dallas, Fort Worth, 338 00:16:39,911 --> 00:16:42,958 has been moved to gate 63. 339 00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:02,717 - Like I said, perfect. 340 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:06,460 You are the love of my life. 341 00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:08,723 Te amo. 342 00:17:08,766 --> 00:17:11,813 - Te amo siempre,Jack. 343 00:17:11,856 --> 00:17:17,688 [off-key] ♪ Tu llenas mis sentidos 344 00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:21,083 ♪ Como una noche en el bosque ♪ 345 00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:23,259 - [nose honks] 346 00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:30,092 - ♪ Like a mountain in springtime ♪ 347 00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:32,660 - No, no, no. 348 00:17:38,231 --> 00:17:41,625 - It's going to be okay, McCoy. - No, it's not. 349 00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:43,192 We're going to break up, and I'm going to 350 00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:45,151 have to go back to dating underwear models 351 00:17:45,194 --> 00:17:51,113 and Bravo executives and Italian soccer stars. 352 00:17:51,157 --> 00:17:54,899 It's going to be hell. - Ah, well, me too. 353 00:17:54,943 --> 00:17:58,425 What with all the part-time piano teachers 354 00:17:58,468 --> 00:18:01,732 and no-show Grindr dates. 355 00:18:01,776 --> 00:18:05,388 I--I totally get it. 356 00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:08,565 How do you keep a relationship going from so far apart? 357 00:18:08,609 --> 00:18:12,091 - You can't. - Unless... 358 00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:14,136 [Estefan continues singing in Spanish] 359 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,965 - Unless what? 360 00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:20,055 - And now, do you, Jack, take Estefan 361 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:23,406 as your lawfully-wedded husband? 362 00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:26,366 - Maybe everything else was not as I planned, 363 00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:28,672 but this moment is. 364 00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:30,892 All eyes are on me as I say-- 365 00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:34,635 - I will! I will marry you, Will Truman! 366 00:18:37,246 --> 00:18:39,466 - [screaming] I knew it! 367 00:18:39,509 --> 00:18:41,381 I knew it! 368 00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:44,601 - Jack, Jack, Jack, you're still getting married first. 369 00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:47,561 I'm dying inside. 370 00:18:47,604 --> 00:18:49,824 - That helps. Let's keep going. 371 00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:53,784 [bright piano music] 372 00:18:53,828 --> 00:18:56,135 - That was the craziest, most impulsive thing 373 00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:59,616 I have ever seen you do, and I have never been prouder. 374 00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,488 - Yeah, yeah, it's weird, because crazy and impulsive 375 00:19:01,531 --> 00:19:03,098 is usually your department. 376 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,621 Did we switch bodies when we opened 377 00:19:04,665 --> 00:19:06,841 that book of magic spells? 378 00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:09,148 - You inspired me, though. 379 00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:11,585 I'm kind of thinking about doing something 380 00:19:11,628 --> 00:19:14,109 crazy and impulsive myself. 381 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,589 - Is it something that has the chance 382 00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:18,461 of making you more than 60% happy? 383 00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:20,811 - It might. 384 00:19:20,855 --> 00:19:25,903 - Well, then go. Go get yourself some happy. 385 00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:33,824 - Smitty, this isn't like me, but I'm happy for my friends. 386 00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:37,524 I guess it makes me feel like 387 00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:41,049 maybe there's a chance that I'll find love again. 388 00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:43,878 - [laughs] 389 00:19:48,535 --> 00:19:51,451 Mrs. Walker, you're hilarious. 390 00:19:54,236 --> 00:19:56,673 - We have a boarding opportunity for passengers 391 00:19:56,717 --> 00:19:58,022 traveling flight 6150-- 392 00:19:58,066 --> 00:20:00,329 - Ma'am are you boarding? 393 00:20:00,373 --> 00:20:03,811 - I was just--um, uh, waiting for someone. 394 00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:07,206 I guess it was crazy. 395 00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,425 - Hold up. Hold the gate. 396 00:20:09,469 --> 00:20:11,688 [bright music] 397 00:20:11,732 --> 00:20:14,517 - Hi. 398 00:20:14,561 --> 00:20:16,345 - Hi. 399 00:20:16,389 --> 00:20:18,695 - Ooh, the first song is husband and husband. 400 00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:22,612 Come on, let's dance. Will! 401 00:20:22,656 --> 00:20:26,442 ♪ 402 00:20:26,486 --> 00:20:29,097 - I was looking for you. 403 00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:31,839 - Here I am. 404 00:20:31,882 --> 00:20:35,712 - ♪ Love is in the air 405 00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:39,847 ♪ Love is in the air 406 00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:44,025 ♪ Love is in the air 407 00:20:44,068 --> 00:20:47,594 ♪ Love is in the air 408 00:20:47,637 --> 00:20:50,945 ♪ Love is in the air 27663

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