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1
00:00:00,073 --> 00:00:04,192
Attention Cloud 9
shoppers and employees.
2
00:00:04,194 --> 00:00:06,695
I, uh... I just wanted
to take this moment
3
00:00:06,697 --> 00:00:08,530
to, uh...
4
00:00:09,967 --> 00:00:13,764
Uh, to... to say goodbye.
5
00:00:14,772 --> 00:00:17,232
This is my last day as manager here.
6
00:00:17,233 --> 00:00:20,761
I am stepping down to spend
more time with my family.
7
00:00:21,245 --> 00:00:22,477
Pretty emotional for a guy
8
00:00:22,479 --> 00:00:24,646
who only demoted himself
to floor worker.
9
00:00:24,648 --> 00:00:26,348
Yeah, you'd think
he'd mention that part.
10
00:00:26,350 --> 00:00:27,528
No, he's getting to it.
11
00:00:27,529 --> 00:00:29,751
He's been doing the
same speech every hour.
12
00:00:29,753 --> 00:00:32,120
He wants to cover
as many customers as possible.
13
00:00:32,122 --> 00:00:33,522
I've heard it five times.
14
00:00:33,524 --> 00:00:34,623
He's getting really good at it.
15
00:00:34,625 --> 00:00:36,692
My second family.
16
00:00:36,694 --> 00:00:39,544
While you've been helping
people find light bulbs
17
00:00:39,546 --> 00:00:41,044
and paper towels,
18
00:00:41,665 --> 00:00:45,094
you've also been
helping me find myself.
19
00:00:46,682 --> 00:00:49,375
Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com
20
00:00:50,607 --> 00:00:52,641
And guys, I say this a lot,
21
00:00:52,643 --> 00:00:55,491
but we really need to wet down
those raccoon droppings
22
00:00:55,519 --> 00:00:56,813
before we sweep.
23
00:00:56,814 --> 00:00:58,102
Dry sweeping is the reason
24
00:00:58,103 --> 00:01:00,390
why those roundworm eggs go airborne.
25
00:01:01,563 --> 00:01:04,052
God, I just realized
this is the last time
26
00:01:04,054 --> 00:01:06,955
I'm going to tell you guys
to spray your droppings.
27
00:01:06,957 --> 00:01:08,423
- Aww.
- And I finally get to stop
28
00:01:08,425 --> 00:01:10,492
sucking up to this guy. Right?
29
00:01:10,494 --> 00:01:11,576
That's what you've been doing?
30
00:01:11,578 --> 00:01:12,444
- Yeah.
- So now
31
00:01:12,446 --> 00:01:14,396
that you're becoming a floor worker,
32
00:01:14,398 --> 00:01:15,397
what do we call you?
33
00:01:15,399 --> 00:01:16,398
Glenn's fine.
34
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:17,499
- Glenn?
- Mm-hmm.
35
00:01:17,501 --> 00:01:18,383
Feels weird.
36
00:01:18,385 --> 00:01:20,368
Does this mean Dina's gonna be manager?
37
00:01:20,370 --> 00:01:21,603
No, thank you.
38
00:01:21,605 --> 00:01:23,113
Though I will outrank Glenn,
39
00:01:23,114 --> 00:01:25,540
who will be right below Marcus
and just above Jonah.
40
00:01:25,542 --> 00:01:27,059
You rank us?
41
00:01:27,061 --> 00:01:28,253
And I'm below Marcus?
42
00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:30,045
That's crazy. I'm the worst.
43
00:01:30,047 --> 00:01:31,346
It's that kind of self-awareness
44
00:01:31,348 --> 00:01:32,577
that keeps you a notch above Jonah.
45
00:01:32,578 --> 00:01:35,517
- So who's taking over?
- Well, I'm hoping it's Amy.
46
00:01:36,987 --> 00:01:38,487
- What?
- Cool!
47
00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:39,604
I mean, I doubt it.
48
00:01:39,605 --> 00:01:41,423
I have to get Laurie to interview me,
49
00:01:41,425 --> 00:01:42,581
and she hates me.
50
00:01:42,582 --> 00:01:44,159
Oh, I'm sure she doesn't hate you.
51
00:01:44,161 --> 00:01:46,361
Eh, she's made some comments.
52
00:01:57,975 --> 00:01:59,571
Oh, here he does. Here he goes.
53
00:01:59,572 --> 00:02:01,288
Okay, chowder's headed down south.
54
00:02:02,012 --> 00:02:04,379
- Oh, my God!
- Eww!
55
00:02:08,118 --> 00:02:10,852
- Oh, God! I hate this!
- Excuse me.
56
00:02:10,854 --> 00:02:12,120
One second. It's almost done.
57
00:02:12,122 --> 00:02:13,722
Oh, I think it's done now.
58
00:02:13,724 --> 00:02:15,357
Oh, hey. Hi, Laurie.
59
00:02:15,359 --> 00:02:16,925
It's, uh... uh, been a minute.
60
00:02:16,927 --> 00:02:19,995
Um, is your hair the same?
61
00:02:19,997 --> 00:02:20,669
Yes.
62
00:02:20,670 --> 00:02:22,898
Sorry, we were just watching HotNuts.
63
00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:24,289
What's HotNuts?
64
00:02:24,290 --> 00:02:27,202
YouTube guy pours
hot liquids on his genitals.
65
00:02:27,204 --> 00:02:28,470
Beverages, soups.
66
00:02:28,472 --> 00:02:29,892
Hmm, sounds brilliant.
67
00:02:29,893 --> 00:02:32,107
So where should our phones be
during work hours?
68
00:02:32,109 --> 00:02:35,143
- Um, in our pockets.
- In your lockers.
69
00:02:35,145 --> 00:02:37,212
In our lockers, right. Yeah.
70
00:02:38,932 --> 00:02:41,316
So why don't you go do that now, okay?
71
00:02:41,735 --> 00:02:43,418
Nice to see you guys.
72
00:02:44,087 --> 00:02:45,237
Man, I really wanted to show you
73
00:02:45,239 --> 00:02:46,988
the Thanksgiving one he did.
74
00:02:46,989 --> 00:02:49,141
Ah, does he pour hot
gravy down his pants?
75
00:02:49,143 --> 00:02:50,725
Yeah, but he does it with his dad.
76
00:02:50,727 --> 00:02:52,060
It's really nice.
77
00:02:54,631 --> 00:02:57,699
Gosh, you know, everything
in here has a story,
78
00:02:57,701 --> 00:02:59,922
like this hole punch.
79
00:02:59,923 --> 00:03:02,537
Okay, it's only supposed
to be able to do 18 pages,
80
00:03:02,539 --> 00:03:05,207
but one day, I got it to do 25.
81
00:03:05,209 --> 00:03:06,825
I went straight home
82
00:03:06,827 --> 00:03:08,710
and made love to Jerusha that day.
83
00:03:08,712 --> 00:03:10,228
Well, that's a story I'll remember.
84
00:03:10,230 --> 00:03:12,437
Oh yeah. You like it?
85
00:03:13,016 --> 00:03:14,132
You should have it.
86
00:03:14,134 --> 00:03:15,617
Oh, uh, no, I... I...
87
00:03:15,619 --> 00:03:17,786
Oh no, come on, please.
You love it. Take it.
88
00:03:17,788 --> 00:03:19,654
Um, if he gets a hole punch,
89
00:03:19,656 --> 00:03:21,223
can I get this bag full of cash?
90
00:03:21,225 --> 00:03:23,658
- Whoa!
- Oh, that's my rainy day fund.
91
00:03:23,660 --> 00:03:25,888
Corporate sets aside
a certain amount of the budget
92
00:03:25,889 --> 00:03:27,156
for miscellaneous maintenance,
93
00:03:27,157 --> 00:03:28,413
so whenever we don't use it,
94
00:03:28,415 --> 00:03:30,352
I just take out in cash
and set it aside.
95
00:03:30,353 --> 00:03:31,633
You know, just in case.
96
00:03:31,635 --> 00:03:33,847
But they think you spent
this on maintenance.
97
00:03:33,848 --> 00:03:36,671
Yeah, and I would have
if I needed to, but I didn't.
98
00:03:36,673 --> 00:03:38,573
So just leave it there
for the next manager.
99
00:03:38,575 --> 00:03:40,775
Wait, so... so you told them
100
00:03:40,777 --> 00:03:42,110
you spent money you didn't spend.
101
00:03:42,112 --> 00:03:43,412
- Mm-hmm.
- Then you...
102
00:03:43,413 --> 00:03:45,113
took the money and kept it in a bag
103
00:03:45,115 --> 00:03:46,681
hidden in your office.
104
00:03:46,683 --> 00:03:50,001
- Yeah.
- Isn't that embezzlement?
105
00:03:50,003 --> 00:03:52,988
No, embezzlement is when you put jewels
106
00:03:52,990 --> 00:03:54,210
on your jacket.
107
00:03:54,211 --> 00:03:55,824
I think you mean bedazzling.
108
00:03:55,826 --> 00:03:57,217
Which is also a crime.
109
00:04:01,131 --> 00:04:04,032
Oh, hey! Laurie! What's up, girl?
110
00:04:04,034 --> 00:04:06,055
It's been, like, forever.
111
00:04:06,056 --> 00:04:08,603
How's the district manager world?
112
00:04:08,605 --> 00:04:10,672
#DMLife, right?
113
00:04:10,674 --> 00:04:13,270
Uh, I'm still doing
some physical therapy
114
00:04:13,271 --> 00:04:15,374
from when you ran me over
with the golf cart.
115
00:04:15,746 --> 00:04:17,315
Yup, yeah.
116
00:04:17,748 --> 00:04:21,049
Um, well, anyway, since
Glenn is stepping down,
117
00:04:21,051 --> 00:04:23,919
I was wondering if, maybe,
I could interview for the job.
118
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:25,570
You want to be manager?
119
00:04:25,572 --> 00:04:28,690
Yeah, um, well,
I've been here for 15 years,
120
00:04:28,692 --> 00:04:31,526
and I did really well
in the Cloud 9 Academy.
121
00:04:31,528 --> 00:04:33,046
Oh, wow. Okay.
122
00:04:33,047 --> 00:04:34,729
You did the one day,
uh, training session
123
00:04:34,731 --> 00:04:35,605
near the airport?
124
00:04:36,366 --> 00:04:38,199
I'm not sure what it
being near an airport
125
00:04:38,201 --> 00:04:39,042
has to do with anything.
126
00:04:39,043 --> 00:04:40,268
I'm sorry. I would really love
127
00:04:40,269 --> 00:04:42,236
to interview you, but I actually have
128
00:04:42,239 --> 00:04:43,838
another candidate in mind, so...
129
00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:46,241
- Oh. Okay. Great.
- Yeah.
130
00:04:46,243 --> 00:04:48,326
Well, um, if that guy falls through
131
00:04:48,328 --> 00:04:50,312
or, you know, if
anything else opens up,
132
00:04:50,314 --> 00:04:52,714
I... I would love to throw
my hat in the ring.
133
00:04:52,716 --> 00:04:53,808
Shwoop!
134
00:04:54,434 --> 00:04:56,301
Sorry, I just touched your boob.
135
00:05:01,525 --> 00:05:03,358
Hey guys, you won't be hearing from me
136
00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:04,759
for the next five hours,
137
00:05:04,761 --> 00:05:06,661
but don't worry,
I haven't been kidnapped.
138
00:05:06,663 --> 00:05:08,563
I just can't use my phone.
139
00:05:08,565 --> 00:05:10,598
But if you don't hear
from me after that,
140
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:14,069
I probably have been kidnapped,
and it was probably my uncle.
141
00:05:14,071 --> 00:05:16,771
He's really nice,
but just statistically...
142
00:05:18,375 --> 00:05:19,140
Stay strong.
143
00:05:19,142 --> 00:05:20,508
You'll be out before you know it.
144
00:05:24,581 --> 00:05:26,564
Oh, shoot. I forgot my phone.
145
00:05:26,566 --> 00:05:27,814
Cheyenne.
146
00:05:29,486 --> 00:05:30,853
Oh, yeah.
147
00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:36,191
Glenn, it's... it's going to be okay.
148
00:05:36,193 --> 00:05:38,276
Just... just breathe
and drink your juice.
149
00:05:40,437 --> 00:05:42,618
Well, not at the same time, obviously.
150
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,083
Maybe they won't
even realize it's gone.
151
00:05:45,085 --> 00:05:47,435
They do an audit every time
there's a management change
152
00:05:47,437 --> 00:05:49,404
at the store. I think
they're going to notice
153
00:05:49,406 --> 00:05:51,639
$27,000 missing.
154
00:05:51,641 --> 00:05:52,640
You can't just return it?
155
00:05:52,642 --> 00:05:54,976
No, 'cause I already
told them that I spent it.
156
00:05:54,978 --> 00:05:56,378
Okay, maybe this helps.
157
00:05:56,380 --> 00:05:57,501
I found this jacket online.
158
00:05:57,502 --> 00:05:59,845
It's beaded, it's exactly $27,000.
159
00:05:59,846 --> 00:06:01,282
So add to cart?
160
00:06:01,283 --> 00:06:02,838
Spending it isn't going to help.
161
00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:04,131
Actually, it might.
162
00:06:04,132 --> 00:06:05,154
- What?
- Yes!
163
00:06:05,922 --> 00:06:07,959
Glenn, can I borrow
$2,000 for sales tax?
164
00:06:08,425 --> 00:06:10,049
- Sure.
- No, not on the coat...
165
00:06:10,050 --> 00:06:12,994
that's bananas... but if you need
to spend it on maintenance,
166
00:06:12,996 --> 00:06:14,929
why don't we just spend it
on maintenance?
167
00:06:14,931 --> 00:06:18,333
How am I supposed to find
$27,000 worth of stuff
168
00:06:18,335 --> 00:06:20,368
to repair in one day?
169
00:06:20,370 --> 00:06:22,837
There's just not
that much stuff that's broken!
170
00:06:22,839 --> 00:06:25,190
Well, there would be if we broke it.
171
00:06:26,843 --> 00:06:29,010
Ugh, I can't wait to have a manager
172
00:06:29,012 --> 00:06:31,079
that's not a paunchy
idiot with elf hair.
173
00:06:31,081 --> 00:06:32,914
Well, it's not gonna be me.
174
00:06:32,916 --> 00:06:34,582
Laurie won't even let me
interview for the job.
175
00:06:34,584 --> 00:06:37,235
She's already decided who she's hiring.
176
00:06:37,237 --> 00:06:39,320
Whoa. It sounds like you need to go
177
00:06:39,322 --> 00:06:41,527
take a big, fat 17-B on her desk.
178
00:06:41,892 --> 00:06:43,792
Eww. What are you talking about?
179
00:06:44,179 --> 00:06:46,528
Rule 17-B. 17-B?
180
00:06:46,530 --> 00:06:48,763
Come on, you know 17-B. 17-B.
181
00:06:48,765 --> 00:06:50,410
B as in boy. Rule 17-B.
182
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:51,664
You can't just keep saying it...
183
00:06:51,665 --> 00:06:54,002
Any employee who completes
the Cloud 9 Academy
184
00:06:54,004 --> 00:06:56,347
should be granted an interview if...
185
00:06:57,274 --> 00:07:00,909
if a management position
becomes available at their...
186
00:07:00,911 --> 00:07:02,977
- Dina, just say it.
- At their store.
187
00:07:03,543 --> 00:07:04,295
Okay?
188
00:07:04,297 --> 00:07:05,947
She literally has to let you interview.
189
00:07:05,949 --> 00:07:07,315
She's already decided who she's hiring,
190
00:07:07,317 --> 00:07:08,316
so what's the point?
191
00:07:08,318 --> 00:07:10,529
The point is you should get
to make your case.
192
00:07:11,138 --> 00:07:13,219
Look, if you feel awkward asking her,
193
00:07:13,220 --> 00:07:14,976
I'm happy to come back you up.
194
00:07:16,626 --> 00:07:19,077
Laurie Neustadt, you are
in violation of rule 17-B
195
00:07:19,079 --> 00:07:20,542
of Cloud 9 hiring policy.
196
00:07:20,543 --> 00:07:21,963
So you either interview Amy,
197
00:07:21,965 --> 00:07:24,132
or I file a 31-J with Kyle Robichot,
198
00:07:24,134 --> 00:07:26,968
and you do not want me filing
a 31-J with Kyle Robichot.
199
00:07:26,970 --> 00:07:28,136
So that's your move?
200
00:07:28,138 --> 00:07:29,788
You're forcing me to interview you.
201
00:07:29,790 --> 00:07:31,206
- I... I... I...
- Fine.
202
00:07:31,208 --> 00:07:33,224
Whatever, let's just
get this over with.
203
00:07:35,178 --> 00:07:36,409
Knock 'em dead.
204
00:07:43,642 --> 00:07:46,560
So, should I start with
my qualifications?
205
00:07:46,562 --> 00:07:48,479
So I don't really think
that you are qualified,
206
00:07:48,481 --> 00:07:51,148
but, you know,
it is your interview, so...
207
00:07:52,888 --> 00:07:55,736
Okay, all right, um, well,
208
00:07:56,199 --> 00:07:59,990
I've been at Cloud 9 for 15 years.
209
00:07:59,992 --> 00:08:05,079
I have strong relationships
with the staff, and over time,
210
00:08:05,081 --> 00:08:09,333
we have really built
a mutual respect and trust.
211
00:08:09,922 --> 00:08:12,419
Um, sorry, do you need a minute?
212
00:08:12,421 --> 00:08:14,288
No, I'm fine. No. Keep going.
213
00:08:16,092 --> 00:08:19,093
Okay, uh, well,
as far as specifics go...
214
00:08:19,095 --> 00:08:19,960
Yo, yo, yo, it's HotNuts here.
215
00:08:19,962 --> 00:08:22,129
I've undertaken a
number of initiatives.
216
00:08:22,131 --> 00:08:23,264
Uh, for starters,
217
00:08:23,266 --> 00:08:25,466
I streamlined our go-backs process
218
00:08:25,468 --> 00:08:28,602
so that we waste less time in restock,
219
00:08:29,029 --> 00:08:32,306
and also I reorganized
the women's wear section
220
00:08:32,308 --> 00:08:36,143
so that basics like camisoles
and strapless bras
221
00:08:36,145 --> 00:08:38,145
were easier to find
during wedding season.
222
00:08:38,147 --> 00:08:39,906
Oh, God! They look really bad!
223
00:08:40,007 --> 00:08:41,527
I'm not getting this job, am I?
224
00:08:41,873 --> 00:08:42,650
No.
225
00:08:46,622 --> 00:08:49,623
Um, are you scrolling
a block of cheese?
226
00:08:49,625 --> 00:08:53,327
Ugh, I miss my phone!
227
00:08:53,329 --> 00:08:54,995
Yeah, I know. Look, it's only
228
00:08:54,997 --> 00:08:56,714
a couple more hours.
It's the length of a movie.
229
00:08:56,716 --> 00:08:58,499
If I can sit through
"The Hitman's Bodyguard,"
230
00:08:58,501 --> 00:09:00,134
I can make it through this.
231
00:09:00,136 --> 00:09:02,636
- "The Hitman's Bodyguard"?
- Yeah.
232
00:09:03,226 --> 00:09:04,582
You didn't see that? Ryan Reynolds,
233
00:09:04,609 --> 00:09:06,340
Samuel I. Jackson, and uh,
234
00:09:06,721 --> 00:09:09,727
the other guy. He always
plays a bad dude.
235
00:09:10,413 --> 00:09:11,611
Uh, he's British.
236
00:09:11,612 --> 00:09:13,188
- David Beckham.
- No.
237
00:09:13,391 --> 00:09:14,383
He's British,.
238
00:09:14,384 --> 00:09:16,834
Yeah, I know, but that's not who I'm...
239
00:09:17,627 --> 00:09:18,709
it's, uh... oh!
240
00:09:18,710 --> 00:09:20,760
Okay, you know who I'm talking about.
241
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:21,930
He's in everything.
242
00:09:21,931 --> 00:09:23,422
He was in Harry Potter.
243
00:09:23,423 --> 00:09:25,511
- Oh, Daniel Radcliffe!
- No.
244
00:09:26,053 --> 00:09:28,483
- Daniel Radcliffe is British.
- Yeah, I know. Okay?
245
00:09:29,215 --> 00:09:31,583
All right, I got a real grab bag!
246
00:09:32,103 --> 00:09:34,646
I've got hammers and
wrenches, crowbars.
247
00:09:34,647 --> 00:09:36,228
What do we need a bow and arrow for?
248
00:09:36,229 --> 00:09:38,438
I don't know. It felt... of the world.
249
00:09:38,439 --> 00:09:40,833
Okay, well, where... where...
where do we begin?
250
00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:42,840
I figure we'd knock
251
00:09:42,841 --> 00:09:44,068
a few holes through this wall here.
252
00:09:44,069 --> 00:09:46,295
What, no! This... this wall?
253
00:09:46,296 --> 00:09:49,435
This... this is the wall
that Cody pinned me against
254
00:09:49,436 --> 00:09:51,583
when he was learning
to drive the forklift.
255
00:09:51,584 --> 00:09:52,806
- Glenn, Glenn.
- Come on!
256
00:09:52,807 --> 00:09:53,829
If you don't want to go to jail,
257
00:09:53,830 --> 00:09:55,409
we're gonna have to do some damage.
258
00:09:55,410 --> 00:09:56,183
Yeah.
259
00:09:57,793 --> 00:09:59,651
- All right.
- Go get 'em.
260
00:10:03,292 --> 00:10:05,076
I... I think, uh, I think you wanna...
261
00:10:05,077 --> 00:10:07,105
you wanna put your back into it
a little more.
262
00:10:07,887 --> 00:10:08,919
There you go.
263
00:10:08,921 --> 00:10:09,823
- Ow!
- Oh, oh.
264
00:10:09,824 --> 00:10:12,532
So apparently, I'm just not
qualified enough for the job.
265
00:10:12,852 --> 00:10:14,909
You're more qualified
than Glenn ever was.
266
00:10:15,428 --> 00:10:16,916
Do you want me to seduce her for you?
267
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:18,863
No. Thank you, though.
268
00:10:18,864 --> 00:10:20,817
Have you ever heard of
something called HotNuts?
269
00:10:20,818 --> 00:10:21,975
Oh yeah, that guy's great.
270
00:10:21,976 --> 00:10:23,659
He's worth, like, 10 million dollars.
271
00:10:23,660 --> 00:10:26,008
Excuse me, folks,
can everyone gather up?
272
00:10:26,842 --> 00:10:29,717
Um, I'd like to introduce
you all to someone.
273
00:10:29,718 --> 00:10:32,397
This is, uh, Blaine Neustadt,
274
00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:33,993
and he's going to be taking over
275
00:10:33,994 --> 00:10:35,673
for Glenn as manager.
276
00:10:35,674 --> 00:10:38,863
You... you... uh, excuse me, Neustadt?
277
00:10:38,864 --> 00:10:40,817
As in, like, your last name?
278
00:10:40,818 --> 00:10:42,286
Uh-huh. Yeah.
279
00:10:42,553 --> 00:10:44,743
Not that it's any
of your business, but yes,
280
00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:46,637
Glenn is my son,
but that has nothing to do
281
00:10:46,638 --> 00:10:47,971
with why he got hired here.
282
00:10:47,972 --> 00:10:50,686
Wow, you do not look old
enough to be her son.
283
00:10:51,043 --> 00:10:51,937
That's an odd thing to say.
284
00:10:51,938 --> 00:10:54,166
Ah, I just want to say hey everyone!
285
00:10:54,167 --> 00:10:56,600
Uh, I'm so excited to be here.
286
00:10:56,601 --> 00:10:59,154
This is so cool to be part
of this great team.
287
00:10:59,155 --> 00:11:02,520
Uh, mostly I am very excited
to be done doing Postmates.
288
00:11:02,521 --> 00:11:04,476
Oh, my car reeks.
289
00:11:05,318 --> 00:11:06,617
This is a good choice
290
00:11:06,618 --> 00:11:09,607
if you're looking for graphics
and raw processing power.
291
00:11:09,608 --> 00:11:12,826
Um, for example, I'll just
pull up my Instagram account.
292
00:11:12,827 --> 00:11:15,013
Oh, I'm just looking
for a "get well" gift
293
00:11:15,014 --> 00:11:16,045
for my mother-in-law.
294
00:11:16,046 --> 00:11:18,053
She doesn't use a computer.
295
00:11:18,054 --> 00:11:20,324
What? Corona and Stacy S.
296
00:11:20,326 --> 00:11:21,959
Are hanging out at Chili's?
297
00:11:21,961 --> 00:11:23,341
I hate them!
298
00:11:23,996 --> 00:11:24,712
Like.
299
00:11:24,832 --> 00:11:27,164
Okay, so I heard that
if you look directly
300
00:11:27,166 --> 00:11:29,326
into the scanner light,
you instantly go blind.
301
00:11:30,019 --> 00:11:31,841
This weirdly makes me feel better,
302
00:11:31,842 --> 00:11:34,109
'cause it wasn't about me
being unqualified.
303
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,815
She just wanted to hire her son.
304
00:11:35,816 --> 00:11:37,455
Yeah, but you can't let her do that.
305
00:11:37,456 --> 00:11:39,194
You need to go back
up to her and tell her
306
00:11:39,195 --> 00:11:41,353
that she needs to either give
you a real shot at this job,
307
00:11:41,354 --> 00:11:42,540
or you'll go to corporate and tell them
308
00:11:42,553 --> 00:11:43,932
about her little nepotism hire.
309
00:11:43,933 --> 00:11:46,411
No, I'm not gonna go
tell on her like I'm 12.
310
00:11:46,412 --> 00:11:47,792
Besides, corporate doesn't care.
311
00:11:47,793 --> 00:11:49,307
It would be a waste of my time.
312
00:11:49,308 --> 00:11:51,600
Hey, um, you're
the floor supervisor, right?
313
00:11:51,601 --> 00:11:52,321
Uh-huh.
314
00:11:52,322 --> 00:11:53,764
Great, awesome, um.
315
00:11:53,765 --> 00:11:55,868
Can you tell me where inventory is?
316
00:11:57,329 --> 00:12:01,207
Uh, yeah, it's sort of all around us.
317
00:12:02,909 --> 00:12:05,471
Yes, yes, thank you.
318
00:12:05,472 --> 00:12:08,072
I will... I will go look
into that. Thank you.
319
00:12:13,289 --> 00:12:14,545
- Can we talk?
- No!
320
00:12:14,547 --> 00:12:15,215
Oh, God.
321
00:12:15,216 --> 00:12:16,411
I'm sorry. You're busy.
322
00:12:16,412 --> 00:12:18,258
- Get out! Go!
- Never mind.
323
00:12:24,037 --> 00:12:28,007
Amy! The Aiming of the Shrew.
324
00:12:28,009 --> 00:12:29,425
Hey, Laurie.
325
00:12:29,427 --> 00:12:31,210
I have been meaning to talk to you.
326
00:12:31,212 --> 00:12:34,380
I want to make you a manager.
327
00:12:34,382 --> 00:12:35,848
Um, what?
328
00:12:35,850 --> 00:12:38,267
What, uh, me? What about Blaine?
329
00:12:39,053 --> 00:12:40,886
He... Blaine's great. Um, it's just...
330
00:12:40,888 --> 00:12:42,221
you know, I've been thinking about it,
331
00:12:42,223 --> 00:12:44,557
and I looked through your
file, and clearly,
332
00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:46,591
you're the most qualified
person here, so...
333
00:12:47,544 --> 00:12:49,028
Um, wow.
334
00:12:49,030 --> 00:12:52,231
That is a lot to take in
all of a sudden.
335
00:12:52,233 --> 00:12:54,867
Big, big opportunity.
336
00:12:54,869 --> 00:12:58,715
I know, um,
just before I say yes or no,
337
00:12:58,716 --> 00:13:00,072
I just want to be clear.
338
00:13:00,074 --> 00:13:02,074
Um, if you're offering it to me
339
00:13:02,076 --> 00:13:04,600
because I'm the best person
for the job, then yes!
340
00:13:04,601 --> 00:13:07,129
I will take and I will be kick-ass.
341
00:13:07,131 --> 00:13:09,433
But if you're offering it
to me because of...
342
00:13:11,752 --> 00:13:13,419
Then, uh, you know,
you don't have to do that.
343
00:13:13,421 --> 00:13:15,304
It's not like I'm going
to go tell anyone.
344
00:13:15,877 --> 00:13:17,423
Really? Wow.
345
00:13:17,874 --> 00:13:19,782
Okay. I appreciate that.
346
00:13:19,783 --> 00:13:21,427
Not too many people would do that.
347
00:13:21,429 --> 00:13:21,986
Thank you.
348
00:13:23,931 --> 00:13:25,264
Sorry, wait, I'm sorry.
349
00:13:25,266 --> 00:13:26,982
Uh, so where did we land exactly?
350
00:13:26,984 --> 00:13:29,435
- What do you mean?
- Do I have the job?
351
00:13:29,437 --> 00:13:31,403
But I thought you just turned it down.
352
00:13:31,405 --> 00:13:33,238
Well, no, I mean, that just...
353
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:34,239
only if you were offering it to me
354
00:13:34,241 --> 00:13:35,074
because of the drug thing,
355
00:13:35,076 --> 00:13:37,109
but if you were offering it to me
356
00:13:37,111 --> 00:13:38,277
because of my abilities,
357
00:13:38,279 --> 00:13:39,171
then...
358
00:13:40,281 --> 00:13:41,400
Hmm.
359
00:13:41,999 --> 00:13:43,776
So this is awkward.
360
00:14:26,961 --> 00:14:28,961
Go, go, go.
361
00:14:39,775 --> 00:14:41,006
Okay, no. You know this guy.
362
00:14:41,008 --> 00:14:43,152
He's a British actor, he's older,
363
00:14:43,154 --> 00:14:44,143
he likes being weird,
364
00:14:44,145 --> 00:14:45,511
he's always doing stuff with his hair.
365
00:14:45,513 --> 00:14:47,179
Sometimes it's long,
sometimes it's short.
366
00:14:47,608 --> 00:14:49,481
He was in Batman.
Oh, uh, Christian Bale.
367
00:14:49,483 --> 00:14:51,517
No, no, no. He wasn't Batman.
368
00:14:51,519 --> 00:14:53,185
Like I said, he's older.
369
00:14:53,187 --> 00:14:55,154
Just... just look it up on your phone.
370
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:56,264
Michael Caine.
371
00:14:56,265 --> 00:14:58,739
No, it's not Michael...
just pull up IMDB!
372
00:14:58,740 --> 00:15:00,986
Dude, it's Michael Caine!
He plays the butler.
373
00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:02,157
Yeah, I know he plays the butler.
374
00:15:02,158 --> 00:15:03,988
- The Joker?
- Yeah,
375
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:07,875
the older British actor
I'm thinking of is the Joker.
376
00:15:07,877 --> 00:15:08,765
Thank you.
377
00:15:09,238 --> 00:15:10,273
I like movies.
378
00:15:11,448 --> 00:15:13,254
And then she just offered me the job.
379
00:15:13,255 --> 00:15:15,357
This is awesome! You and me,
380
00:15:15,358 --> 00:15:16,717
manager, assistant manager?
381
00:15:16,719 --> 00:15:18,836
Oh, it's going to be like
we're Bush and Cheney.
382
00:15:18,838 --> 00:15:20,721
You know, I'm the brains
pulling all the strings
383
00:15:20,723 --> 00:15:22,673
behind the scenes, and you're
the super sexy puppet.
384
00:15:22,675 --> 00:15:25,009
What... I'm... I'm...
I didn't take the job.
385
00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:26,133
What? Why?
386
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,679
Because that's not how
I wanna get the job.
387
00:15:28,681 --> 00:15:30,564
If they're going to hire me,
I want it to be because
388
00:15:30,566 --> 00:15:32,016
I'm the most qualified person.
389
00:15:33,686 --> 00:15:37,313
Hey, so I guess we're
just out of green beans.
390
00:15:37,314 --> 00:15:40,524
Should I get somebody to go
buy more from another Cloud 9?
391
00:15:41,911 --> 00:15:43,840
Is that really
what you think you should do?
392
00:15:44,523 --> 00:15:46,239
I guess. Right?
393
00:15:47,083 --> 00:15:48,866
I just hope they're not selling
them for more than we are,
394
00:15:48,868 --> 00:15:50,701
or else we're losing money on this.
395
00:15:51,671 --> 00:15:52,920
Okay.
396
00:15:54,590 --> 00:15:56,565
There is a lot of damage around here.
397
00:15:56,566 --> 00:15:57,728
Yeah, I know.
398
00:15:57,729 --> 00:15:59,710
It was a gang of teenaged hoodlums.
399
00:15:59,712 --> 00:16:01,929
You know, slicked hair,
leather jackets,
400
00:16:01,931 --> 00:16:03,714
combs in their back pockets.
401
00:16:03,716 --> 00:16:06,805
Uh, total, I'd say you're
looking at $18,000 for repairs.
402
00:16:06,806 --> 00:16:07,624
$18,000?
403
00:16:07,625 --> 00:16:09,185
Yeah, there's a lot to do around here.
404
00:16:09,186 --> 00:16:11,322
I thought it would be
more like $27,000.
405
00:16:11,891 --> 00:16:13,695
You never charge me this little.
406
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:15,441
The truth is...
407
00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:17,945
I've been overbilling you for years,
408
00:16:17,947 --> 00:16:20,551
but I recently quit drinking
409
00:16:20,552 --> 00:16:22,900
and I'm trying to be a better person.
410
00:16:22,902 --> 00:16:25,736
I can do it for $15,000,
but that's final.
411
00:16:25,738 --> 00:16:27,705
$15,000, but that's crazy!
412
00:16:27,707 --> 00:16:28,799
No, it's not crazy.
413
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,546
It's... it's me trying to be
a better person.
414
00:16:30,547 --> 00:16:31,909
Can you go with me on this one?
415
00:16:31,911 --> 00:16:33,464
Yeah, okay.
416
00:16:42,362 --> 00:16:43,728
I'm just gonna say it.
417
00:16:43,809 --> 00:16:46,142
Blaine is sexy,
but he is not a good manager.
418
00:16:46,225 --> 00:16:47,475
He keeps pointing at me and goes,
419
00:16:47,476 --> 00:16:48,593
"This guy gets it,"
420
00:16:48,594 --> 00:16:50,427
and I don't. I don't get it.
421
00:16:50,429 --> 00:16:52,229
Well, none of us would have
to deal with Blaine
422
00:16:52,231 --> 00:16:54,898
if someone had taken the management job
423
00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:56,433
when Laurie offered it to her.
424
00:16:56,435 --> 00:16:58,101
- What?
- Uh, wait.
425
00:16:58,103 --> 00:16:59,252
She gave you the job?
426
00:16:59,253 --> 00:17:00,938
No. No.
427
00:17:02,274 --> 00:17:04,441
I mean, technically yes, she did,
428
00:17:04,443 --> 00:17:08,111
but only because I walked in on her
doing something embarrassing.
429
00:17:08,113 --> 00:17:10,280
Let's just say it involved
her nose and cocaine.
430
00:17:10,282 --> 00:17:11,281
What?
431
00:17:11,283 --> 00:17:12,416
Oh, my God!
432
00:17:12,418 --> 00:17:14,785
So you could've had the job,
but you turned it down?
433
00:17:15,153 --> 00:17:17,287
Guys, I'm not going to blackmail my way
434
00:17:17,289 --> 00:17:18,455
into being the manager.
435
00:17:18,457 --> 00:17:20,290
I should get it because I earned it.
436
00:17:20,292 --> 00:17:21,591
Right, just like Blaine earned it
437
00:17:21,593 --> 00:17:23,460
by coming out of the district manager.
438
00:17:23,462 --> 00:17:25,462
He was born into power
like Prince Charles.
439
00:17:25,464 --> 00:17:27,431
At least you're working for it
like Meghan Markle.
440
00:17:27,433 --> 00:17:30,300
Anyway, your blackmail
cancels out his nepotism.
441
00:17:30,302 --> 00:17:31,802
And it'd be a lot better for us.
442
00:17:31,804 --> 00:17:33,854
I mean I rather work for you
than a guy my own age.
443
00:17:33,856 --> 00:17:35,087
Oh, honey.
444
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,974
You got to do what's
for the greater good.
445
00:17:36,976 --> 00:17:38,859
If you could cure cancer,
446
00:17:38,861 --> 00:17:40,861
but you had to blow up
a bus full of children,
447
00:17:41,392 --> 00:17:42,279
wouldn't you do it?
448
00:17:42,281 --> 00:17:44,481
I mean, I guess?
449
00:17:44,483 --> 00:17:46,014
Just take the job.
450
00:17:46,308 --> 00:17:47,317
You're not just doing it for you.
451
00:17:47,319 --> 00:17:49,035
You're doing it for all of us.
452
00:17:49,488 --> 00:17:51,455
I mean, I guess I would be
better than Blaine.
453
00:17:51,457 --> 00:17:53,791
- Yeah.
- Hey Amy, guess what?
454
00:17:54,209 --> 00:17:57,656
One of the kids
on that bus had the cure.
455
00:17:58,664 --> 00:17:59,830
Twist ending.
456
00:18:01,656 --> 00:18:03,773
Okay, well,
maybe prison won't be too bad.
457
00:18:03,775 --> 00:18:06,443
You know, maybe I can be
the guy that tells the warden
458
00:18:06,445 --> 00:18:08,245
that the other guys
are doing bad things
459
00:18:08,247 --> 00:18:09,927
and I'll just work my way up.
460
00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:11,960
Glenn, you're not going
to go to prison, okay?
461
00:18:12,147 --> 00:18:14,905
It's fine. We... we
just need to do about...
462
00:18:15,099 --> 00:18:16,898
what, 12 grand worth of damage
463
00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:18,505
- in... in the next hour.
- Oh.
464
00:18:18,506 --> 00:18:20,318
We have fertilizer
in the garden center.
465
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:21,029
We can make a bomb.
466
00:18:21,030 --> 00:18:22,571
I feel like going from embezzlement
467
00:18:22,572 --> 00:18:24,527
to domestic terrorism
is the wrong direction.
468
00:18:24,528 --> 00:18:26,278
We could hire termites
to eat the store.
469
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,530
- How do you hire termites?
- I don't know, with wood?
470
00:18:28,532 --> 00:18:30,865
Guys, no. No more.
471
00:18:33,337 --> 00:18:35,287
She's been through enough.
472
00:18:41,044 --> 00:18:42,794
Gary Oldman.
473
00:18:43,214 --> 00:18:44,379
Gary Oldman!
474
00:18:44,381 --> 00:18:46,431
Yes, it's Gary Oldman!
475
00:18:46,433 --> 00:18:47,915
Oh!
476
00:18:48,552 --> 00:18:49,934
I don't know who that is.
477
00:18:54,725 --> 00:18:58,248
Hey, Laur of the Rings.
478
00:18:58,942 --> 00:19:00,061
Hello, Amy.
479
00:19:00,545 --> 00:19:02,397
Um, I was thinking a little bit more
480
00:19:02,399 --> 00:19:04,532
about... about what you said before,
481
00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:07,068
uh, regarding, you know,
who is a better fit here.
482
00:19:07,070 --> 00:19:08,191
Oh, right.
483
00:19:08,192 --> 00:19:09,788
Yes, except I already told corporate
484
00:19:09,790 --> 00:19:11,365
that I gave the job to Blaine, so...
485
00:19:11,532 --> 00:19:13,644
Oh, okay.
486
00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:15,794
Uh, well, um...
487
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:19,112
speaking of... of telling things
to corporate,
488
00:19:19,113 --> 00:19:20,548
just wanted to let you know that I...
489
00:19:20,550 --> 00:19:22,584
I haven't said anything to them yet
490
00:19:22,586 --> 00:19:24,419
about the, um...
491
00:19:25,922 --> 00:19:27,238
Coca�na.
492
00:19:28,518 --> 00:19:29,557
That's cocaine.
493
00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:30,774
Right.
494
00:19:31,395 --> 00:19:32,927
Um, thank you.
495
00:19:33,378 --> 00:19:35,597
Uh, you are a very good person.
496
00:19:36,841 --> 00:19:40,318
Well, I mean, am I?
497
00:19:42,559 --> 00:19:43,808
I don't know.
498
00:19:44,067 --> 00:19:46,884
I would just really hate
for corporate to ever find out,
499
00:19:47,577 --> 00:19:52,530
because that would be bad, Laurie-wise.
500
00:19:54,331 --> 00:19:55,450
Are you blackmailing me?
501
00:19:55,844 --> 00:19:58,168
No. No.
502
00:19:58,169 --> 00:20:01,089
God, no. No. Sorry.
503
00:20:01,091 --> 00:20:01,917
Okay.
504
00:20:04,711 --> 00:20:06,628
Okay, yes, I am blackmailing you!
505
00:20:06,630 --> 00:20:08,463
If you don't give me the job,
I will call corporate
506
00:20:08,465 --> 00:20:11,015
and tell them that you are
a huge [bleep] cokehead.
507
00:20:15,439 --> 00:20:17,806
Really? That's the picture you chose?
508
00:20:17,808 --> 00:20:19,391
I had to blow up the staff photo.
509
00:20:19,393 --> 00:20:20,725
I couldn't find any other photos of you
510
00:20:20,727 --> 00:20:22,527
other than the one
from Cheyenne's wedding,
511
00:20:22,529 --> 00:20:23,611
but with all the hair and makeup,
512
00:20:23,613 --> 00:20:25,029
it looked like you were trying
to be a supermodel.
513
00:20:25,536 --> 00:20:27,031
Yeah. Good call.
514
00:20:27,033 --> 00:20:28,232
I think it looks good,
515
00:20:29,369 --> 00:20:30,172
Boss.
516
00:20:33,657 --> 00:20:35,907
Well, I'm sorry we couldn't
get you all the way.
517
00:20:35,909 --> 00:20:37,709
Yeah, but you tried your best,
518
00:20:37,711 --> 00:20:39,377
and I really appreciate that.
519
00:20:39,379 --> 00:20:40,663
Are you gonna be okay?
520
00:20:40,664 --> 00:20:42,163
Yup, don't worry about me.
521
00:20:42,165 --> 00:20:44,132
Everything's gonna be just fine.
522
00:20:47,137 --> 00:20:49,087
I can't believe he's not freaking out.
523
00:20:49,089 --> 00:20:50,755
Yeah, well, I mean,
524
00:20:50,757 --> 00:20:52,390
once you finally decide
to tell the truth...
525
00:20:52,392 --> 00:20:53,258
wait, what's he...
526
00:20:53,260 --> 00:20:55,093
- Whoa, no, stop!
- No, no, no, no, no!
527
00:20:57,397 --> 00:20:58,680
Oh!
528
00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:01,219
Glenn!
529
00:21:01,985 --> 00:21:03,485
- Oh, my God, Glenn!
- Are you okay?
530
00:21:05,405 --> 00:21:07,021
That ought to cover it, right?
531
00:21:08,024 --> 00:21:10,692
- Yeah, pretty much.
- Uh-huh. Yeah.
532
00:21:10,694 --> 00:21:13,144
Yeah, I thought so.
38235
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