All language subtitles for Slutever s02e04 Alternative Sex Ed.eng

[ Sultry hip hop plays ]

Lay on your back.

♪♪

Do you know
why we're doing this?

Because you're beneath me
and you should feel my feet

on top of you
to know that.

♪♪

So, for this class,
[ Whimsical tune plays ]

all the things that you're
going to learn today,

you can apply those
in your everyday life.

-Mmm!
-Does anyone want to join me?

Mm-hmm.
-[Giggles]

[ Rock music plays ]

When I was growing up,
my sex education consisted

of being locked
in a chastity belt

and shown a slideshow
of the world's

most heinous cases of herpes.

Luckily, porn exists,
-Unh! Unh!

so I just learned
about sex from there,

thus, explaining
my gangbang fantasy

and the fact that
my entire generation

is riddled with sexual anxiety.

Lol!

I got to thinking,

when fighting the dark forces

of sex-negative America,

"What can the superheroes
of sex ed do to save us?"

♪♪

♪ Evan and Cindy

♪ [Scat singing]
-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y ♪

♪ To me, they're

♪ The same
-In large parts of America,

young people are receiving

their first sexual
information through porn.

Porn has its
recreational benefits,

but it's not intended
as an educational tool.

So I'm meeting up
with Cindy Gallop,

who created a website called
Make Love Not Porn,

which hosts videos of real
people having real sex,

for audiences to learn from
and jerk off to.

Multi-tasking.

-♪ Oh, I love Cindy

Gallop: Everybody wants
to be good in bed.

No one knows exactly
what that means,

and so you'll seize your cues
from anywhere you can.

If the only cues you've seen
are in porn,

those are the ones
you'll take.

So are you anti-porn?

Not in the slightest!

This is why our tagline
at Make Love Not Porn

deliberately is
"Pro-sex. Pro-porn.

Pro-knowing the difference."

People have unconsciously
internalized porn tropes

without even realizing
they're doing it

because porn is now
so ubiquitous.

Sex in porn is performative...

[ Shouting ]

Oh, yeahhh!

Whoa.

...and sex in the
real world isn't.

Difficult getting on.

[ Laughter]

No one ever laughs
in porn.

I've noticed that.
It's very serious.

You know, if you can't laugh
at yourselves in bed,

when can you?

We are what Facebook would be

if it allowed you to socially
share real-world sex.

And what kind
of people

submit videos
to your site?

The answer to that, Karley, is:
People just like you and me.

So, our Make Love Not Porn
stars range in age

from 18 to 70,
-Ahhh!

real-world bodies,

real-world penis size,

real-world breast size.

They are from all walks of life.

They are from all countries
in the world.

Anybody and everybody.
-It's global.

It is global, yeah.

Cool, recording.

Nothing educates people
about sex

like watching people
actually having it.

These videos look hot.

Yeah. No, they really are,
I tell you.

This guy's cute.

[ Whimsical outro plays ]
[ Siren wailing ]

We also want to use
our unique language and tags

to change the way people
think about sex.

[ Mid-tempo tune plays ]

The language of porn is
predominantly male-generated.

So the person who coined
the term "finger blasting"

didn't have a vagina.
[ Musical powerdown ]

Pounding, banging, slamming,

wrecking, smashing, destroying,

all terms created
by the people

who do not possess
the soft, internal tissue

to which those things
are being done.

So, at Make Love Not Porn,

we are building
a new vocabulary.

Juicy, succulent.

Our term for oral is "downtown,"

and we do that because
it's language you can use

to talk about what you want
to do in bed

in a celebratory, positive,
and generical way.

That would've been
so valuable to me

when I was young.

Exactly.

[ Upbeat rock plays ]

Karley: Okay, cool.

But who are the crazies
out there

making their own
normcore porn?

Hi.
-Hi!

[ Laughing ]
-Hello.

We've been married
nine years.

Before we had our child,
you know,

we were on each other
all the time, you know,

it was that perfect
honeymoon phase.

We still had a lot of fun, but,
after we had our baby, then,

it was just like
it just went downhill.

-Dry spell.
-Yeah.

-Yes.
-[laughing] A very long one.

Ugh!

Everything was focused
on the baby

and you're just exhausted,
by the end of the night.

How did you guys find out
about Make Love Not Porn?

I was looking through
different sites

that would be more
like couple-friendly.

So when we looked
at the videos on there,

it was like, "Look! People
who have regular bodies."

'Cause when you have
your body postpartum,

it is nothing like
what it looks like

before you get pregnant.

It felt like a whole
world opened up again.

And then,
whose idea was it

to start making
your own videos?

I was very adamant about it.

I was like, "No,
we need to do this."

♪♪

♪♪

That seems like
such a jump.

Most people would be
sonervous

to make a video
of themselves having sex.

-Oh, yeah. We were nervous, too.
-I'd imagine.

♪♪

It's still very scary
'cause you are

putting yourself out there,

but...
-It's exciting,

at the same time.
-It just felt like, yeah,

like it was exciting
and let's -- let's have

a new adventure like together.
-Yeah,

-Like this is so perfect.
-and it was together, yeah.

That's what I like
about it, yeah.

Mm-hmm.
Thankfully, for us,

it's been very positive.
-Very positive, yes.

-Very positive.
-Been very positive.

Everyone's in agreement
about that.

[ Laughs ]

♪♪

Yeah, see,
we're showing glare.

So do the people

that you're close to
in your lives

know that you guys
do this?

-They don't.
-No.

So it's kind of like
our fun secret.

It's like, "Who's gonna find out
-Both: first

and ask us about it?"

What have you guys learned
about each other

since finding the site?

I think communication
is the big thing.

Watching our own videos,
it's interesting 'cause,

I watch it and I can see
how she move

the way she liked.

Also, I will talk about it,
if we would watch it,

and I'd be like,
"Oh! Okay."

It's like,
"I see this now."

It was the same for me, too,
'cause just figuring out

what you both like.

♪♪

Okay, well, I don't wanna
like get in your way.

I know you're gonna

work right now.

[ Laughter ]

♪♪

Karley:
So, clearly, good sex can be learned in the bedroom.

But what about in the classroom?

Is today's sex-ed curriculum
equally stimulating?

Barrica:
"15 Ways to Blow His Mind.

"Eat a doughnut
off his dick."

Do you feel that most
people in your school

are actually
being abstinent?

I -- no.

It's not about hitting
as hard as you can.

♪♪

[ Upbeat rock plays ]

I grew up in a town where
the parents petitioned

to prevent our health teacher

from teaching us how to put
a condom on a banana.

[ Warble!]

Spoiler alert:
I didn't get great sex ed.

So I've come to the glamorous
and sweaty state of Georgia

to ask random strangers
whether their sex-ed experience

was just as tragic as mine.

Did you have any form
of sex ed growing up?

I vaguely remember it,
but I don't think so.

No.

I didn't know
what masturbation was

until I was 16.

You just figured it out
for yourself?

Fortunately.

I've heard that, if you hug
someone, in a bathing suit,

and they're also
in a bathing suit,

then you'll get pregnant.

So who was
the first person

who taught you
about sex?

My sister. She was like,
"You kind of just like

rub each other
until it like feels numb."

All I remember was having
to watch like a live birth.

-Oh!
-A friend of mine,

when I was 16,
we went downtown.

We met a nice lady
and, for a small fee,

we learned about sex.

The true rite of passage.

♪♪

Confirmed: My generation's
sex ed was a pile of trash.

But I wonder if anything's
changed since Iwas a kid.

To find out, I'm meeting up

with a precocious teenager
named Trinity.

At Trinity's high school,
the sex-ed curriculum

was all about avoiding
sex completely.

Helpful.

So, what sort of stuff
does one learn

in an abstinence-only
sex-ed class?

In Georgia, the law requires
that all sex-education programs

A, promote abstinence, and B,
imply that any sexual activity

is best within
the confines of marriage.

Pfff. That's hard.

Basically, it's like,
"If you have sex,

you'll get pregnant
and die."

It just creates fear
and panic.

What if I wanna have sex
beforeI get married?

Well, I guess you just

have to be prepared
to die.

Scare tactic,
that's all they wanna do.

They wanna scare kids
into not having sex

and it obviously
is not working.

Condoms, do you think
that's a good way to go?

When you use a condom,

it's like you're playing
Russian roulette.

Also, I don't think it says the
word gay once in the whole book.

Wow.

I'm a gay woman, myself,

and I did feel
kind of invisible.

They're actively dismissing
queer people.

Yeah. Also, just implies
that sex is only

for the use of procreation,
in a way.

You know, it's just like
it's very outdated.

Do you feel
that most people

in your school,
your age,

are actually
being abstinent?

[laughing] No.
I -- No.

But, yeah, I think, you know,
a student that received

this "You get pregnant and die
and that's it" sex education,

they don't know how to engage in
a relationship in a healthy way.

Which I assume, in turn,
leads to higher rates

of unwanted pregnancies

and higher rates
of STDs.

Yeah. Actually, when the
curriculum was introduced

in my area, the gonorrhea
and chlamydia rates

increased about 300%,
among teenagers.

Karley:
Yikes! Sounds scary.

But Georgia isn't the only state
waging a war on sex

[ Squeaking]
with just-say-no sex ed.

Thirty-six American states
currently teach

federally funded
abstinence-only curriculum,

which were recently rebranded

as sexual-risk-avoidance
programs.

That's a lot of slut-shamey
tax dollars.

I know you're organizing
an event this evening.

What's gonna happen?

I wanna communicate
these concerns are valid

and so I invited some
of my peers

to have kind of a focus group
and talk about what we can do

to make the curriculum
more inclusive

and just better
for all students.

So what you all have
in your hands is

the standard sex-education
abstinence-only curriculum.

A lot of abstinence-only
programs

actually have a pledge
you can sign.

So this one has a pledge
as well.

I signed it.
I signed it.

Ugh, wonderful.

And, if you didn't sign it,
then you were like

publicly shamed.
-Yeah.

Like they said, "Your virginity
is a special gift

only for your husband.

I want you to pretend

that it's a physical,
small object

that you can unwrap
and give to him

on your wedding night."

The virginity construct
is always on women

and it's always on girls.
-Yeah.

-Yes.
-When I went to middle school,

there was this
sex-education video

and they compared a girl
to a shoe.

[ Sultry R&B plays ]
Michelle, what are these?

My sneakers?

And the guy said,
"Oh, my god."

It looks like the entire
football team

has been
in these things.

-[Gasp ]
-Yeah.

Did anyone else do
the tape thing?

-Yes.
-We had the tape thing.

She's kinda tall and thin.

Pretend this is your new
girlfriend, okay?

-Yeah.
-My teacher actually took

a piece of tape

and she stuck it
on a student's arm

and then she went
and stuck it

on another student's arm,
and stuck it

on another student's
arm, and stuck it,

and then she held it up.
She's like...

This is the metaphor
for what happens

when we have sex
before we get married.

"This is all
gross-looking

and it's not sticking
to people anymore."

Don't be this gross
piece of tape.

Not quite as tight,
not quite as good.

"If you keep having sex,
you're gonna be

nasty-looking and nobody's
gonna want you."

At this age, we're already
having self-image problems.

At this point, we don't
need more of that

just because we chose
to have sex with someone.

I love that it says,
"You have time to focus

your energy on life goals,"
like sex is gonna take up

so much energy
[ Laughter ]

that you're like
depleted forever.

Also like what if sex
is your life goal?

[ Laughter ]

So what do you guys think
are some ways that

we can promote change
and make the curriculum better?

Provide them with medically
accurate information.

Meet them without shame
and stigma.

Provide something that's
comprehensive and inclusive.

What happens if someone is
abstinent until they're married,

and then they get married
and they're not equipped

to like have conversations
about consent,

avoiding pregnancy, avoiding
STIs, with their spouse?

In the event
that I do have sex,

how do I do it in a way
that I don'tget STDs,

in a way that
I don'tget pregnant?

[ Whimsical tune plays ]
It's so impressive,

how informed you are,
and, when I was 18,

I primarily cared about
being blacked out at a rave.

Amazing, that you're all
really joining together

to make a huge change
and I really think

that it's possible.

Us informing each other,
us educating each other,

is a really powerful tool

that we have that
they can't take away from us.

We're gonna mobilize and vote

and bring this issue
to other people's awareness

and it's time we just say
enough is enough

and we deserve better.

[ Hip hop plays ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]
♪♪

If more people knew about how
just awful the curriculum was,

I think there would definitely
be more change happening.

How cool would it be
if you

just went to school
and people were like,

"Sexual orientation's
on a spectrum," and like,

-Yeah, that'd be great.
-"This is how to say no,"

and like,
"This is how to come."

-Yeah.
-That will never happen.

[laughing] Maybe the first two,
but the last one, probably not.

Karley:
Okay, sex canbe risky

and it's important to teach
young people how to do it

in a way that doesn't
result in a plethora

of unwanted diseases
and babies.

That said, where the F do people
go to learn all the ways

that banging can actually be,
you know, fun?

Did anyone here learn
about pleasure?

♪♪

[ Upbeat rock plays ]

♪♪

After years of personal
and pseudoscientific research

into the subject of sexuality,

I've come to the conclusion
that sex can actually be

fun. Who knew?

So I'm headed to meet
Andrea Barrica,

the founder of O.school,

a company that livestreams
sex-ed videos

that focus on pleasure, which,
weirdly, is controversial.

Hey, O.school!
We're about to do

a querying up
sex-ed livestream

at the Center
for Sex and Culture.

Wherever you are in the world,
so good to have you.

Thanks for coming!

The state of sex ed
in America today

is worse than it's been
in decades.

♪♪

That's really what led me
to start O.school.

What are some
of the classes

that would be taught
through O.school?

We have livestreams
every single day.

Anywhere from buying
your first sex toy,

all the way to "I think
I might be bi, queer, poly."

And what's important to us is
that people are finding experts

and educators that share some
of their own lived experiences.

For example, we have
an educator on the platform

who has cerebral palsy

and educates on all
the issues of sexuality

that can come
with having a disability.

People from 130 countries
have tuned in

and been able to experience
this type of education

for the first time.

Why is it important
that we have

pleasure-based sex ed?

Sex and pleasure

are major parts
of human sexual wellness.

I'm shocked that we're still not
admitting to young people

that a lot of the reasons
we have sex

is 'cause it feels really,
really good.

Well, it should be
the most obvious thing,

but it's always left out.

Hey, everybody.
How are you doing?

[ Cheering and applause ]

Thank you for being
he-e-e-re!

Okay.

How many of you had any sex ed
at all in school?

Okay.

And did anyone here learn
about pleasure?

In general, where do we learn
about sex and pleasure?

-Porn.
-Porn.

-Cosmo,anyone?
-[Laughing]

Seventh grade, never forget it:

"15 Ways to Blow His Mind.

Number 7:
Eat a doughnut off his dick."

[ Laughter ]
Anyone get that one?

Well, it's 2018.

As a society, we should
be teaching people

that it's [ striking palm] okay
to have sex for pleasure,

and fun and connection

and things that have nothing
to do that procreation.

How many of you
can identify what this is?

[ Whimsical tune plays ]

Tell me about when you learned
about the clitoris.

I literally founded O.school

before I learned the structure
of the clitoris,

so you will not be embarrassed.

You cannot be
more embarrassed than me,

starting a pleasure
education company

and being like, "What's that?
[ Laughter ]

Why does it look
like a dinosaur?"

This is the clitoral hood.

This is the clitoris, but just
a part of it, just the tip.

And what people don't know
is this little nub here

is part of a larger structure

that's about 4 centimeters
in the body.

It has 8,000 nerve endings.

It's the only organ
in the human body

that's only job is
to have pleasure.

Did anyone learn that
in school?

-No.
-No.

-I have held this up in places

all over the country,
with doctors in the audience,

and they can't identify
this organ.

And the reason why:
it was written out

of medical textbooks
in the '50s.

They just were like,
"Not important."

We didn't fully understand it

until Dr. Helen O'Connell
discovered it in 1998.

They actually found the
clitoris 20 years ago?

-Yeah.
-Wow.

-So what that means is we

put someone on the Moon,

we invented the Internet,

before we really understood

this organ that's in half
the population today.

How can we build a culture
of sexual respect

if we do not allow people
to reach their sexual potential,

whatever that is, and to get
the education that they need?

[ Cheering and applause ]

Thank you.
-Awesome job.

Thank you.

I just left O.school.

I learned so much.

Specifically, the fact
that my clit has legs.

Like who knew?
Not me.

Clearly, when it comes to
learning about sex and pleasure,

we have a long way to go,
especially when there are

so many different ways
to be turned on.

[ Bell clanging ]

It's important not to go
directly on the nipples.

♪♪

[ Laughing ]

♪ My libido

♪ Point me in the

♪ I thought

[ Bird whistles ]
♪ I really

♪ Had me a man

So far, we've learned
the importance

of pleasure-based sex ed,

but good sex
isn't just physical.

It's mental, too.

Duh.

So I'm attending a BDSM class
with sex educator Lola Jean,

who schools people
on how exploring

the psychological aspects
of kink

can help to enhance
your sex life.

[ Funk plays ]

All right, submissives.

Please let the doms enter.

♪♪

[ Chuckle ]

♪♪

Bow.

Welcome to FemDom 101,
or BDSM 101.

A lot of people think that

domination is all going
to be about pain,

but, really, that's only,
like 10% of it.

For the most part,
it's more in the psychological.

Do you consider
what you do sex ed?

Yes. BDSM can be an amazing
tool to build confidence,

build sexual confidence, and to
help with our insecurities.

-Yeah.
-And women,

they often are in this role
where they're told

to be small and submissive
naturally,

so I want to give them
the opportunity

to be able
to switch that role,

and that's what this class
is more geared to.

-I'm down for that.
-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

[ Whimsical tune plays ]

So, I wanna go over a bit

of what I call
the kink starter pack.

To start off, we are going to do
like a hair-pull exercise.

So you wanna get towards
the back of the neck here

'cause there's less
nerve endings.

This is also where mothers
pick up their youth,

so it's a very dominant,
yet maternal feeling.

I'm not pulling.

I'm just making a fist.

People do like a hair pull,
and like that's just porn.

[ Laughter ]
But in this way,

you have all this control.

When you learn how to dom,
you're basically learning

how to navigate power dynamics.

I wanna use Monk
for a bit of trampling.

And, with trampling,
he's literally underneath me.

So it's another kind of tool
of dominance.

I'm trying to stay on more
fleshier, meatier areas.

-Mmm!
[ Laughter ]

Okay. Nipple play.

It's important not to go
directly on the nipple,

and pinch,
like pinch the areola.

How about this? You stick out
your tongue if it's too much.

Doesn't necessarily have
to be torture.

Or I can kind of be
a dick about it.

[ Laughter ]

Karley: Oh, right.
Discovering

your partner's boundaries
can actually be lol.

[ Laughing ]

♪♪

We think of domination,

it's not about going straight
for the climax.

It's about building
this repetition.

And, if I get him used to this,

when I change it up,

I makes it a surprise.

[ Thwack! ]

♪♪

The experience is all located
around the submissive,

in what they want or don't want,
what their boundaries are.

Does this feel nice, Monk?

Yeah.
That's your playground.

[ Thwack! ]

So thank you all
for coming to FemDom 101.

I hope that you have
all the tools that you need

to start exploring
your dominant side.

[ Applause ]

♪♪

Do you think
that it's important

that classes like this

be included in
our sex education?

Absolutely. It talks about
consent and boundaries,

which can be applied
in every aspect of our lives.

And I've always been
more submissive

and so I'm really
enjoying like

owning my dominance.

[ Thwack! ]

Karley: Wow.
So I guess learning

how to safely assault
your partner

can make you
super well-rounded.

[ Thwack! ]Very good.

♪♪

When it comes to sex ed,

we're starting
with such a low bar

that simply acknowledging
that sex exists,

and won't necessarily kill you,

is a radical act.

Thankfully, the slutty
superheroes of today

are paving the way
for a future where,

one day, lessons
that include intimacy, kink,

and how to have a [bleep]
orgasm once in a while

won't be the exception,
but the rule.

[ Thwack ]

Class dismissed, sluts.

♪♪

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