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1
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:04,305
[ Book thuds ]
Mitchell:
[ Sighs ] I'm beat.
2
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,339
Can you turn off
the light?
3
00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:07,508
Yeah, just give me
a second.
4
00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:10,978
5...4...3...
5
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,980
2...1.
6
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,748
You missed
our anniversary.
7
00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:16,317
[ Switch clicks ]
8
00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:27,528
**
9
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,005
Wow, that's pretty good.
10
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,074
[ Coughs ] Uh-oh.
11
00:00:40,108 --> 00:00:42,676
Oh, no. [ Coughing ]
12
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:44,545
Ohh.
13
00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:47,448
[ Coughing ]
14
00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:48,582
Ohh!
15
00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:52,820
[ Spits ] Oh.
16
00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:56,023
[ Screams ]
17
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,926
[ Muffled screaming ]
18
00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:04,198
Honey, the deli warned you
about those peppers.
19
00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:05,766
I thought
they were exaggerating.
20
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:07,368
[ Sighs ]
[ Coughs ] Wow.
21
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:08,969
Maybe they do have
the world's best pastrami.
22
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:11,105
That's a lot of food.
Who's coming?
23
00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:12,706
Luke, Dylan, and Bill.
24
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:15,075
Gotta keep my posse in meat
while we watch two top fighters
25
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:17,111
battling in the pay-per-view
event of the century.
26
00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:19,913
That is so unlike you
to watch Ultimate Fighting.
27
00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:21,549
That's insane.
I love a good battle.
28
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:22,583
Boxing, MMA --
29
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,585
Lip Sync.
Which get brutal.
30
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:26,053
I want to be a role model
31
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,222
to this family's
next generation of men.
32
00:01:28,256 --> 00:01:30,824
So, I'm hosting a fight night
33
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:33,494
with, uh, Luke, Dylan,
and Alex's boyfriend, Bill,
34
00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:34,762
where I will begin the process
35
00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:37,498
of inspiring them
and imparting wisdom.
36
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:39,233
I figure they have
to listen to me.
37
00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:40,968
I pay for Luke's gas,
and the other two
38
00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:43,171
do unspeakable things
to my daughters.
39
00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:45,573
So, who's the top card
on the fight tonight?
40
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,575
I'm gonna say
a Latin guy...
Mm-hmm.
41
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:48,776
...and a Russian.
42
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,111
The fight just gets
my boys in the door.
43
00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:52,513
What's gonna knock them out
is when I wow them
44
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:54,182
with all the amazing things
I've lived through.
45
00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,083
Snooze.
Not the way I do it.
46
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,084
I've updated
the lyrics to
47
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,586
Billy Joel's
"We Didn't Start the Fire."
48
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,321
Huh.
It's not everyone
who can rhyme
49
00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:02,490
"Bronco chase"
with "Melrose Place."
50
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:04,024
I still can't find
any '90s thing
51
00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:05,459
that rhymes with
"Michael Bay."
52
00:02:05,493 --> 00:02:07,928
Dr. Dre,
Ellen's gay, Y2K --
53
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,096
Don't you have
someplace to be?
54
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,598
It's boys' night,
no chicks allowed.
55
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:13,534
Kid 'N Play, "Groundhog Day,"
Tammy Faye...
56
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,436
[ Telephone rings ]
57
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:16,470
Hello.
58
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,272
Speaking.
59
00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:20,474
Yes, of course
I'll hold.
60
00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:22,142
Gloria,
it's CalShopTV.
61
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:24,712
I think they're gonna give me
a slot to sell my dog beds.
62
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:25,979
CalShopTV?
63
00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:28,349
The Southland's
premier shopping network?
64
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:30,551
I watch it all the time.
65
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,119
And so do
all my friends.
66
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,554
This is big time,
Gloria.
67
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:35,723
People buy all sorts
of crap on there.
68
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:38,526
Hey, I'll finally get
to use my spray-on hair!
69
00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:39,727
[ Sarcastically ] Great,
70
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,196
it's all coming together
for you.
71
00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:44,865
[ Mug thuds ]
This is a long time
to be on hold.
72
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:47,468
I've never been this stressed
out listening to James Taylor.
73
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,337
[ Normal voice ] Hang up.
If it's good news,
74
00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:51,004
they're gonna
call you back.
What do you mean "if"?
75
00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:52,640
It's gotta be good news,
right? I mean --
76
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,808
I mean, it shouldn't take
this long for a "yes" --
77
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,377
Are they calling
to say "no"?
78
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:58,212
Are these sons of bitches
rejecting me?
79
00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,913
Like I need
this cheesy, third-rate --
80
00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:01,549
[ Calmly ]
Yes, I'm still here.
81
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:03,517
Tonight? Of course!
I'll see you then!
82
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:05,353
[ Telephone beeps, thuds ]
Gloria, they want me!
83
00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,521
It's the primo
10:00 p.m. slot --
84
00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:10,491
exactly when people are drunk
enough to make bad decisions,
85
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:11,925
but not so drunk
they can't read
86
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:13,227
the back of
their credit cards.
87
00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:16,330
You know what would be
the coolest move ever?
88
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:18,832
If you don't tell anyone
that you're doing it.
89
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,234
Tell them after.
90
00:03:20,268 --> 00:03:23,136
Be like, "Yeah,
I was on TV, whatever."
91
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,206
[ Footsteps approaching ]
92
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,911
Happy anniversary!
Oh, my gosh.
93
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:33,514
I'm -- I'm so sorry
I forgot yesterday, um,
94
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,549
but I love you,
and I hope that
95
00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:36,717
this makes up for it.
96
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:39,052
Oh, thank you, you did--
Mitchell --
97
00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:42,590
[ Gasps ]
A belt buckle, I love it!
98
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:44,358
Yeah, see, I thought
this was a uterus,
99
00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:46,059
but they told me
it's a longhorn.
100
00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:48,296
Yeah, a Texas longhorn.
No, just a longhorn.
101
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:50,030
I thought you could wear it
line dancing tonight.
102
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,865
Are you sure I can't
convince you to come?
103
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,534
You know, it's two-for-one
Alabama Slammers
104
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,103
and Oklahoma Comas.
You know, I'd rather
stay here
105
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:58,138
and have a free drink
without a sad ending.
106
00:03:58,171 --> 00:03:59,773
[ Door closes ]
Phil: Boys' night!
107
00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:02,042
Unlike in high school
and most of college,
108
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,278
by choice.
Where's the opener?
109
00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:06,614
You don't need an opener.
Hand it over.
110
00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:09,483
Let me show you
how it used to be done.
111
00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:12,052
Oh, dear God.
Oh.
112
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,754
No one tell Claire
I did that.
113
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:17,057
You know my friend Corey
who comes over here
and broke that lamp?
114
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,259
There is no Corey.
We'll blame it on him.
115
00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:20,894
Okay.
116
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,130
I learned that trick
on a log in the woods.
117
00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:25,833
I was, uh, hanging out
with my biker buddies.
118
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,100
We'd just pedaled out --
119
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:28,436
Bill: You know what happened
to me in the woods once?
120
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:31,171
I was bow hunting,
this freak blizzard hits.
121
00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:33,173
I had to literally
cut open an elk,
122
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:35,843
clean his guts out,
climb inside for the whole night
123
00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:37,277
just to keep
from freezing.
124
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:38,178
Wow.
No way.
125
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,481
I once found
a bird's nest
126
00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:42,149
on the ground.
True story.
127
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:43,584
So, then what
happened, Bill?
128
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,953
Oh, be careful. My dad tried
one of those earlier
129
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:46,987
and my mom said
he cried.
130
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,589
I didn't cry.
That was sweat from my eyes.
131
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,257
I mean,
I'll try one.
No, don't, Bill.
132
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,459
I drank all the milk!
133
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,194
Mmm.
134
00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:55,963
Missing something.
I think it needs some Tabasco.
135
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,465
Bill, you're the man.
136
00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:59,600
Come on, hardly.
I'm not even the man here.
137
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:00,934
Oh, well,
thank you, Bill.
138
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:01,935
Dylan, tell them about
that life you saved
139
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,437
at the hospital
the other night.
140
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:05,005
Oh, I never
thought I'd see
141
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,940
someone with a golf club
through his neck --
142
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,976
Come on, let's not make Dylan
compete with bird's nest.
143
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,711
It's fight time,
gents,
144
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:13,213
courtesy of
Big Daddy Dunphy!
145
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:14,615
[ Remote clicks ]
No need
for each of you
146
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,283
to Venmo me $19.
I got this.
147
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,318
Things are, uh --
Things are going well.
148
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,555
Wait, what's --
what's going on?
149
00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:23,624
I bought the fight.
Go to "Purchases."
150
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:24,958
[ Remote clicks ]
151
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,360
Dad, you didn't
buy MMA.
152
00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:28,796
You bought
"Mamma Mia."
Why would I buy
"Mamma Mia"?
153
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,664
I've seen it, like,
three ti-- I mean...
154
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,966
Well, you guys want to see
a video I took on my phone
155
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,635
of a guy's car
exploding?
156
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,136
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
157
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,137
Check this out.
158
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,305
Nate: I'm just saying,
159
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,808
as someone who was
actually born in a barn,
160
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,043
that's an unfair
stereotype.
Okay, yes.
161
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:44,545
I'm sorry.
Rusty:
Hey, hey, hey.
162
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:46,046
Don't all
turn at once.
163
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:48,215
Comin' in the front door,
poser alert.
164
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:51,051
Nate: Where?
Oh, that is
a bad look.
165
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,820
Oh, is that a price tag
still on his hat?
[ Rusty giggles ]
166
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,489
Oh, Lord.
I think he bought it today.
167
00:05:55,523 --> 00:05:57,157
Here he comes.
Here he comes. 2:00.
168
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,092
Cameron:
Your 2:00 or mine?
169
00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:02,162
* You've got me thinking
it might be... *
170
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,831
Oh, God, it's mine.
Mitchell: Cam!
171
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,066
Surprise!
[ Spurs jingling ]
172
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,702
Do you know him?
A little.
173
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:12,540
Representative.
174
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:16,043
[ Slowly ] Representative.
175
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:17,745
Dunphy.
176
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:20,247
Dun-phy.
177
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,682
Dun-- No.
178
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,684
No, no, no.
I'm not done.
179
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,553
I'm not done!
Come on!
180
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,123
[ Quietly ]
Somewhat satisfied.
181
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:31,892
I couldn't get through
to the cable company.
182
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:32,960
I had to think fast --
183
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:34,962
these guys were here
to watch a fight,
184
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:37,397
so I decided to show them
185
00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:40,468
the most epic battle
of all time.
186
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,870
Wax on...
Bill: This Daniel dude
187
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,572
is about to get
his ass kicked.
188
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,206
He's had
no real training.
189
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:49,076
You gotta do
push-ups, cardio...
190
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:50,444
Waxing a car?
191
00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:52,145
That's how we haze
the probies at the firehouse.
192
00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:54,948
Yeah, why's the kid still
listening to that crazy old man?
193
00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:56,917
He's not crazy,
he's wise.
194
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,653
There was a time when young
people respected mentorship.
195
00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:01,955
Seems like he's just
using him to do chores.
196
00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:04,458
Oh, God, he's doing that
scarecrow move again.
197
00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:06,326
Why?
It's completely wobbly
198
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:07,561
and you can't
get any leverage.
199
00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:10,097
It's called the crane
and it's unstoppable.
200
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,732
I don't know
about unstoppable.
201
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:14,334
It's a sophisticated move that
uses the grace of the human --
202
00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:15,435
Well, don't do that.
203
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:17,070
[ Chips clatter ]
204
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:18,606
See? The old dude has no idea
what he's talking about.
205
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:20,908
Stop calling him the old dude.
He's my age!
206
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,577
And he's just trying
to shape a young mind!
207
00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:24,812
[ Bowl clatters ]
208
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,683
Hey. Oh, wow,
there we go.
Hi. Oh.
209
00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:32,920
I'm so happy you're here.
Such a sweet gesture.
210
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,421
My gosh, and look at
your new boots.
211
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,756
Look at those boots.
Yeah.
212
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,591
So shiny and blue.
213
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:39,527
Anyway, honey, you know,
you're looking
214
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:42,262
just a little bit
store-bought cowboy...
Oh.
215
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,664
...so maybe lose
something...
216
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,499
That's embarrassing.
There we go.
217
00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:48,268
Oh, more fringe. Wow.
Oh, my gosh.
218
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,003
I feel like Tina Turner
with all this, you know?
219
00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:51,338
Country folk
don't shimmy.
220
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:53,440
They don't?
Are you sure?
Stop shimmying. Stop.
221
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,508
Okay, okay.
Still learning.
222
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:56,176
Uh, but look.
I, uh --
223
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:58,445
I bought a buckle, huh?
Just like yours?
224
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,280
Oh, I...
Where is it?
225
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,949
W-Well, you know what?
It's so fancy,
226
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,517
and I didn't want to show off
in front of my friends.
227
00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:05,452
They're not as well off
as we are, so...
228
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,454
Cowboy emcee: Line 'em up,
little doggies!
Oh!
229
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,956
Reckon I can
have this dance?
230
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,158
Well, it's a line dance.
It's very complicated.
231
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,893
Well, I'll pick it up.
Remember how fast I learned
232
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,728
the hora at Pepper's
adult bar-mitzvah?
233
00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:16,496
Cam!
Over here!
234
00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:17,665
All right.
Yeah, here we go.
235
00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:20,233
Mitchell:
Do it. Okay.
236
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:22,502
[ Spurs jingle ]
237
00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:24,171
Oh, it just starts.
238
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,239
There it is.
239
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:27,808
Sorry, sorry.
It's okay.
240
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,076
Okay.
241
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:30,177
Cameron: Mitchell,
scoot your boot.
242
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:34,915
**
243
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,183
Sorry.
Mitchell,
it's that way.
244
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,518
Okay, sorry.
Okay, sorry.
Oh, my gosh!
245
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:40,554
I'm sorry, was that me?
Was that me?
Oh, my gosh!
Mitchell!
246
00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:42,155
Mitchell! Come on.
247
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,091
Help me up, help me up,
help me up.
Get some traction.
248
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:45,993
Use your spurs!
Dig 'em into the floor.
249
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,327
Rusty: Get your feet
under you, cowboy.
250
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,162
Okay, I got it.
That's what the spurs are for.
251
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,764
All right.
All right.
252
00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:53,000
Excuse us. Promenade.
Sorry.
253
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,235
Do you think they'll be doing
the hora next?
254
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:56,837
Y-You know what? I'm -- I'm --
I'm not really comfortable
255
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,338
with you leaving Lily
home alone.
256
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,507
Oh, she's not home alone.
I have Claire watching her.
257
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,743
Really? I-I've never
seen those two talk.
258
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:05,412
[ Scissors snip ]
259
00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:11,785
I'm afraid of Lily.
W-- I know that sounds horrible.
260
00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:15,756
What I mean to say
is that lately I am unnerved
261
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:17,357
by the way
she'll just sit there,
262
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:20,093
quietly staring, judging me.
263
00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:23,096
So, to put it in kinder terms,
264
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:25,232
I'm afraid of Lily.
265
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:26,233
[ Scissors snip ]
266
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,567
Aunt Claire?
Yes?
267
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:28,535
What, honey?
268
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:29,703
Why don't you
like me?
269
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:31,872
What?
I like you.
270
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,141
I-I love you.
271
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:36,543
In fact,
I told everyone
272
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,779
I was watching you tonight
so they --
273
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,648
they all know
where I am.
274
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,315
Oh.
275
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:43,817
I kind of thought
you didn't like me.
276
00:09:43,851 --> 00:09:45,118
What gave you
that idea?
277
00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:47,454
Because you don't
really talk to me,
278
00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:48,956
and you shoot me
these looks,
279
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:50,257
and I feel like
you're judging.
280
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,392
I get nervous around you
'cause you're so cool.
281
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,928
[ Scoffs ]
That's really sweet.
282
00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:56,063
Wait, are you
being mean?
283
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,231
No. Why does everyone
always ask me that?
284
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:01,068
No one has called me cool
in years.
285
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,069
[ Quietly ]
Ever...
286
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,771
I love the way
you don't give a damn.
287
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:06,573
Well, I do
play by my own rules.
288
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,941
You do what you want.
289
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:10,343
You don't care who you piss off
or what anyone thinks of you.
290
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:11,912
This compliment
is starting to sound
291
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,080
a little bit
like an insult.
292
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,915
Well, look
who I live with.
293
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,583
Honey.
294
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,085
Tell you what.
Let's hang out,
295
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,753
get to know each other,
do something fun.
296
00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:22,289
Ooh, let's create a Tinder
profile of a really hot girl
297
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,124
and see what pictures
guys send us.
298
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:25,659
Hm...
299
00:10:25,693 --> 00:10:27,260
I need to be
the grown-up here,
300
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,062
but I really
do want to do that.
301
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:31,598
Jay: What's this?
302
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,767
Manny and I were thinking
that you should
303
00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:36,103
rehearse a little bit
before going on TV
304
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,205
where people we know
are gonna see you.
305
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:40,340
I don't need to rehearse.
Do you know how many commercials
306
00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:41,842
I did for
Pritchett's Closets?
307
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:44,277
This is live TV.
It's a whole different beast.
308
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:45,779
Okay, but don't overdo it,
all right?
309
00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:46,980
I want to keep it fresh.
310
00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:50,250
Mom, you're the host
in 3...2...
311
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:54,822
Hello.
Welcome to CalShopTV.
312
00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:57,791
I am a perky blonde
who is easily amazed.
313
00:10:57,825 --> 00:11:00,193
I'm Jay Pritchett.
I'll bet you were expecting
314
00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:02,162
to hear
about closets --
Manny:
O-Okay, stop.
315
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,630
Why are you
mentioning closets?
316
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:06,666
Jay, everybody knows that
you're the king of closets.
317
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,736
If there was
a closet hall of fame,
318
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:09,870
you would be in it.
319
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:11,638
If? What do you think
we were doing
320
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,373
that weekend
in Corning, New York?
321
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:14,808
Let's just
stay on topic.
322
00:11:14,842 --> 00:11:17,477
And try using colorful language
to describe your product
323
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,212
like "stunning"
or "delicious."
324
00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:21,681
"Delicious"?
If my dad heard me say that,
325
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,416
he'd have punched me,
and I'd have been grateful.
326
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:25,585
Just cue me.
[ Clears throat ]
327
00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:29,356
Hello. Welcome.
This is CalShopTV.
328
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:31,691
[ Excitedly ] How you doin',
folks? If you have a dog --
329
00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:32,926
No, no,
that's too big.
330
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,395
Why don't you do it
like you're goofing on it?
331
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:36,663
Like, uh,
332
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:39,666
"I don't really care about
dog beds. I am a man!"
333
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,735
Why don't you start off
with something funny?
334
00:11:41,769 --> 00:11:44,204
A kid in my class
does arm farts.
335
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,338
[ Mimics farting ]
336
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:46,774
It's hilarious.
337
00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:48,375
Our bodies, huh?
338
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,277
[ Normal voice ]
Come on, guys. You're starting
to get in my head.
339
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,379
Well, listen, if you don't
feel like you're ready for it,
340
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:53,580
why don't
you just cancel?
341
00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:55,348
It's better
than embarrassing yourself.
342
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:56,516
You mean embarrass you.
343
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,685
You don't think I hear
your snarky comments?
344
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,921
You think dog beds are silly.
I get it.
345
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:03,023
Right now, I need
people who believe in me,
346
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,657
so why don't you
just stay home.
347
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,762
Did he really think
I was going with him?
348
00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:13,033
I'm so sorry, Donna.
H-How is your knee feeling?
349
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,301
Oh, my knee's fine.
350
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,937
It's my shin where your
little buddy's spurs got me.
351
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:19,039
Yeah, Mitchell,
why did you get spurs?
352
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,707
It was an impulse buy.
They were at the register.
353
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,142
[ Cowbell rings ]
Cowboy emcee:
All right, folks,
354
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:24,111
we're about to kick off
the beer relay!
[ Cheering ]
355
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:26,546
Beer relay!
Come on, team!
I'm sorry, guys.
356
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:29,049
I just took a painkiller.
I am out for the night.
357
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,384
Damn it. I've been practicing
for this all week.
358
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:33,620
Yeah, we know, Nate.
You might have a problem.
359
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,288
Um, I-I could
sit in for her.
360
00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:37,925
[ Chuckling ] Oh, seriously?
I don't think...
I can chug.
361
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:39,559
Remember that time
we went through security
362
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,795
and I forgot I had
a bottle of water in my bag?
363
00:12:41,829 --> 00:12:44,564
Come on! Come on, cowboys.
Saddle up!
364
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,666
All right, Mitch.
Donna always goes first,
365
00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:47,801
so you take her spot.
366
00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:50,470
All right, set the pace.
I love it.
367
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:53,907
Okay, you dirtbags,
let's do this.
368
00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:55,742
Ready...set...
369
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,010
chug!
All right,
let's go!
370
00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:58,378
Chug, Mitchell,
chug!
371
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:02,015
You gotta chug.
Is it possible there's
more bubbles in mine?
372
00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:03,616
-No. It's the same, yeah.
-No?
373
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:04,684
Nate:
Come on, Mitch!
374
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,253
Stop nursing it
like a little baby!
375
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,287
You know what,
Nate?
376
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:08,788
I don't respond well
to negativity,
377
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:11,658
so you can all just
take that down a-a notch.
378
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:13,927
Here we go.
Drink, drink, drink!
379
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:15,762
Mitchell,
you have to drink!
380
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,330
[ Cheering ]
381
00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:19,666
It's like he's
waterboarding himself.
382
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:21,969
We balance this bucket
383
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:25,805
on the top of the door,
just so,
384
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:27,707
and when your dads
come home,
385
00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:28,876
spills water on them.
386
00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:30,010
Hot boiling water?
387
00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:32,279
What? No.
Okay.
388
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:33,546
I guess
it's still funny.
389
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:35,048
And you're saying
this is a cool thing
390
00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:36,183
that cool people
would do?
391
00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:39,052
[ Sighs ]
Lily, I can't lie to you.
392
00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:41,889
It's not cool,
and neither am I.
393
00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:43,390
Food trucks
make me nervous.
394
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:44,724
I leave voicemails.
395
00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:46,860
I prefer The Weather Channel
to MTV.
396
00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:48,528
Is MTV still cool?
397
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:49,696
I've never heard of it.
398
00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:51,164
I am not cool.
399
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,402
I don't think
I'm cool, either.
400
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,537
Maybe that's our thing.
401
00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:00,673
Maybe we can be
uncool together.
402
00:14:00,707 --> 00:14:03,043
That sounds nice.
Hm.
403
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:04,978
Except when I'm with my friends,
then I don't know you.
404
00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:06,546
I respect that.
405
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:07,814
You know
what would be fun?
406
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,616
Filling the bucket
with spiders.
407
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:12,452
You might need help.
408
00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:17,824
Dad? Did you eat
another pepper?
409
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,093
Phil: No.
[ Whispering ]
It's not about the pepper.
410
00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:22,662
[ Normal voice ]
You're upset we made fun
of the movie, aren't you?
411
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:25,065
Hey, that's just
what our generation does.
412
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,934
We goof on things
that scare us
413
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,501
because of how much
we love them.
414
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,770
Yeah. We wish
there was a sequel.
415
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:32,339
There's actually two.
416
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,674
[ Whispering ] Idiot.
I'm not watching another one.
417
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,243
Mr. D, I know
that this might
418
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:38,178
sound like
the craziest thing ever,
419
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,380
but are you upset because
you want to see yourself
420
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:42,682
as our Mr. Miata?
That's just dumb.
421
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,517
Yeah, don't waste one
of our guesses on that.
422
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:45,585
[ Door opens ]
423
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,322
It's Miyagi.
Told you.
424
00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:52,692
It's ridiculous
to say this out loud,
425
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:53,860
but I guess I just
wanted to feel
426
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,628
like someone you guys
could look up to.
427
00:14:57,564 --> 00:15:00,767
What are you talking about?
Everybody looks up to you.
428
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,202
Yeah.
429
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,971
The hardest thing
about dating Alex --
430
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:05,605
well, besides
all the big words --
431
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:07,407
is just knowing
she grew up
432
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,709
with a perfect guy
in her life.
433
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,578
It's pretty hard
to compete with.
434
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:13,880
That's what scares me about
having kids with Haley.
435
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,915
Even if I'm
an awesome dad,
436
00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:17,550
I'll still
fall short of you.
437
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:20,587
Try being his son, knowing
you'll never measure up.
438
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,389
It's no picnic.
439
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,824
Which is ironic, because
we go on a lot of picnics.
440
00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:26,759
You're also the best magician
I've ever seen.
441
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:28,895
Not to mention the best
real-estate agent,
442
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,663
the best party deejay...
443
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:32,232
The best cowboy,
444
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,601
riverboat gambler,
medieval knight...
445
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:37,604
Those are just old-timey photos
from amusement parks, but...
446
00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:40,873
I just love
you guys, and...
447
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:46,746
...I want to pass on some of
the things that I've learned.
448
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:49,016
Like...
449
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:52,152
never try to take a tennis ball
away from a raccoon.
450
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,487
Or...
451
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:57,590
never go to play tennis
with just one ball.
452
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,292
That is good to know.
453
00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:01,494
Or, you know,
stuff like
454
00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:03,263
find the fun
in every moment,
455
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:06,633
find the good
in every person,
456
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:09,836
or never, ever be the one
who doesn't do the wave.
457
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:11,471
Those people die alone.
458
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:14,041
Thanks,
Mr. D-yagi.
459
00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:18,045
[ Voice breaking ]
I'm gonna need another minute.
460
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,681
Hey.
461
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:22,982
Good news.
[ Burps ]
462
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:24,484
You okay?
Mm-hmm.
463
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:26,786
I, uh -- I just
slipped the guy $20
464
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,155
so that we could ride
the mechanical bull together.
465
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:30,623
Okay, which guy?
Because that's a plastic cow,
466
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,559
doesn't move, and...
467
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:35,362
there's an "X" at the back
to tell you which is the front.
468
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:37,130
Hey, listen,
it's starting to slow down.
469
00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:38,631
We should
get going, huh?
Really?
470
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,133
Cowboy emcee: All right, folks,
grab your partner!
471
00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,301
Night's just
gettin' started.
472
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,469
I'll get us a car.
473
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:43,570
Why are you
in such a rush
474
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,338
to get us out of here?
475
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:46,406
Is it about me?
476
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,875
No!
477
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,710
It's about
your clothes
478
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,412
and your dancing
479
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:53,480
and your drinking
and your --
480
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:54,914
Okay, okay, okay,
I get it.
481
00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:56,383
You're embarrassed
of me.
482
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:57,650
Y-You know, you're the one
who's been asking me
483
00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:58,818
to come here
for years.
484
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,887
I really thought I wanted
you here, but then,
485
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,155
once you came here,
486
00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:04,757
I discovered that I don't
really want you here.
487
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:06,526
[ Sighs ]
Wow, that is beyond --
488
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:07,560
Okay, well,
let me ask you.
489
00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:08,828
Did you have
a good time tonight?
490
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,497
I was with you!
491
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,665
Okay, answer
the question.
No.
492
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,102
No, the floor's sticky,
I don't know a single song,
493
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,836
and I'm not entirely sure
494
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,205
Donna isn't
your sister, Pam.
495
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:20,740
Honey, I appreciate that
you went to all this trouble,
496
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:21,841
but you know what?
497
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,177
Maybe we don't have to do
everything together.
498
00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:25,945
Maybe that's how
we'll make sure
499
00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:28,215
we have lots
of anniversaries.
Oh.
500
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,683
And I promise
never to forget again.
501
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:34,020
And I promise I'll never count
down the seconds to shame you.
502
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,589
Okay, let's get you
out of that belt buckle.
503
00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:38,558
Ooh.
No, I didn't mean it
in a sexy way.
504
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:39,726
It's hideous.
It looks like something
505
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,794
you'd get
off CalShopTV.
506
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:44,297
Um, can you call me a driver
for the ride home?
507
00:17:44,331 --> 00:17:46,966
Hi! Are you the dog bed guy?
I'm Linda.
508
00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:49,369
My wife loves you.
She couldn't make it tonight.
509
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,604
I'm sure you have
a really nice wife, dog bed guy.
510
00:17:51,638 --> 00:17:54,040
Do you have any advice?
Uh, talk loud.
511
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,075
A lot of people are watching
this in hospital waiting rooms.
512
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:58,211
How big an audience
do you usually get?
513
00:17:58,245 --> 00:17:59,379
Saturday night?
514
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,281
300,000, 400,000.
Ooh!
515
00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:03,883
[ Lively music plays ]
[ Excitedly ]
Oh, my God,
516
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,585
CalShopTV viewers,
517
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:08,888
I have a very special treat
for you.
518
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,390
Joining me
is Jay Pritchett
519
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:13,059
with the most exciting
new product.
520
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,394
Right, Jay?
521
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,463
[ Loudly ] I'm Jay!
522
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,631
Whoo! [ Laughs ]
Yeah, you are.
523
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:22,469
So, tell me about these
adorable little creations.
524
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:24,103
Uh, dog beds.
525
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,940
Dog beds?
Wait, so you're telling me
526
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:30,977
this pineapple
is a dog bed?
527
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:32,745
Wh-- Well, now
I've seen everything.
528
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,181
Tell me more.
Um...
529
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:37,116
You know,
dogs get tired...
530
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:38,318
Mm-hmm.
531
00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:39,919
...and, uh, so...
532
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:40,987
these.
533
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:43,256
Uh-oh.
Linda:
Gosh, I feel like
534
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:44,857
I'm doing
most of the talking.
535
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:46,893
How would you describe
your dog beds?
536
00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:50,129
Delicious?
537
00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:51,364
I gave him that.
538
00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:52,932
[ Stella growls ]
539
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,967
Jay, anything else
you'd like to share
540
00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:57,003
with our CalShopTV
audience?
541
00:18:57,036 --> 00:18:59,339
Something to get
those phone lines buzzing?
542
00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:04,444
Do it.
543
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:05,978
Do it.
544
00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:09,316
Oh, and it looks like
we've got a caller.
545
00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:11,784
Gloria: [ American accent ]
Hello, this is Joanne
546
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,453
from Riverside.
547
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:14,954
I love dogs!
548
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,223
Hello, Joanne.
549
00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:18,024
I have a question.
550
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:21,561
It is called, uh,
Beds by Stella.
551
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:23,162
Who is Stella?
552
00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:24,731
She's my dog.
553
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:28,235
Oh! I see that
she's your inspiration
554
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:29,802
for what you're doing.
555
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:32,004
What kind of dog
is she?
556
00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:35,007
French bulldog.
And I know what you're thinking.
557
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:37,710
Uh, she's French,
so she has an attitude.
558
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,479
[ Laughs ]
559
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,548
French people are so snooty.
I love it.
560
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:43,583
But not
my little girl.
561
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,184
Uh, she's the salt
of the Earth.
562
00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:46,819
I mean, you should see her
when I sit her next to me
563
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,154
when I'm watching
sports.
564
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,323
You know, I explain
the whole game to her,
565
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:52,392
which is funny
because, you know, um,
566
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:54,661
dogs don't really
understand sports.
567
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,263
Oh, yeah, that's cute,
568
00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:58,265
but I bet that
it's very annoying
569
00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:00,833
for the people
that live with you.
Yeah, well,
570
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,435
you know, they say
they don't love her,
571
00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:04,170
but I know they do,
572
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,105
uh, because she's
part of the family,
573
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:09,442
so she deserves a-a comfortable,
fun place to sleep.
574
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,379
Like your dogs.
575
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,414
Uh, you know,
I call this one
576
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:15,848
the Puppy Colada,
577
00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:17,850
and, uh,
the Rover Rocket.
578
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:20,453
This one here is
the, uh, Pupcake.
579
00:20:20,487 --> 00:20:22,121
This is
the Tailavision,
580
00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:24,524
and our latest creation
581
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,893
is the Taj Mahowl!
582
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:29,629
Wow, our phones are
lighting up. [ Chuckles ]
583
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:32,865
Thank you, Mr. Pritchett.
I can feel all the love
584
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:36,035
and hard work that
you put into your beds.
585
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:39,105
I am very proud of you.
586
00:20:39,138 --> 00:20:42,709
Thank you,
Joanne from Riverside.
587
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,210
I love you.
588
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,912
Linda: Oh, hold on. Okay, wait.
I just got it.
589
00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:47,647
Taj Mahowl!
590
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,248
[ Both laugh ]
That's it!
591
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:53,386
Thank you,
Janet from Pomona,
592
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:54,287
and to your little
Pomeranian, Tony,
593
00:20:54,321 --> 00:20:55,455
I'd just like to say...
594
00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:57,424
[ Howls ]
595
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:58,625
[ Laughs ]
596
00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:00,092
I can't believe
I'm saying this,
597
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:02,429
but you might be weirder
than the knife guy.
598
00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:03,563
[ Chuckles ]
[ Siren wails ]
599
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,332
Oh, look at that.
600
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:08,067
You just sold
your hundredth dog bed.
601
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,469
How 'bout
a little tail wag?
602
00:21:09,502 --> 00:21:10,737
You don't
have to ask me twice.
603
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,405
[ Wailing continues ]
604
00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:16,008
**
605
00:21:16,042 --> 00:21:17,577
Good God, Dad.
606
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:20,413
We may have to make some
difficult decisions soon.
607
00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:22,649
Wait, that's the guy you were
afraid you couldn't live up to?
608
00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:23,916
I know.
609
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,785
Legend.
[ Jay barks ]
44407
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