Original subtitles

[GONG]

[GONG]

[GONG]

[GONG]

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TRIMARK HOME VIDEO

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

Devon: ONCE UPON A TIME,

IN A FAR-OFF LAND,

LIVED A GIRL AND HER MOTHER AND FATHER.

LIVED A GIRL AND HER MOTHER AND FATHER.

THEIR VILLAGE WAS SURROUNDED BY A HIGH WALL.

THEIR VILLAGE WAS SURROUNDED BY A HIGH WALL.

OUTSIDE THE WALL WAS THE FOREST,

HOME OF BABIAGA, THE WITCH.

HOME OF BABIAGA, THE WITCH.

BABIAGA HAD IRON TEETH

THAT COULD BITE THROUGH TREES.

HIS LEGS WERE LIKE CHICKEN LEGS,

AND HE ATE LITTLE GIRLS FOR DINNER.

AND HE ATE LITTLE GIRLS FOR DINNER.

BUT INSIDE THE WALL,

THE GIRL WAS SAFE.

THE GIRL WAS SAFE.

STICK 'EM UP, INJUN.

STICK 'EM UP, INJUN.

TRY THE MADISON HOUSE FIRST.

THEN THE LANGERS.

SKIP THE CUTCHENERS. THEY'RE IN RHODE ISLAND.

THAT'S THE LAUGHLINS.

THE CUTCHENERS ARE IN TOWN.

DON'T FORGET TO RING 3 OR 4 TIMES

THE NEILS IN BIRCHGROVE COURT.

WIFE IS ALMOST DEAF.

AND ON THE SCHOOL BOARD.

EVERYONE WILL GET A TASTE

OF THE STOCKARDS.

YUM YUM.

Devon: THESE ARE READY.

Devon: THESE ARE READY.

[CLACK]

[CLACK]

[CLACK]

[CLACK]

[CLACK]

Woman: BILLY! SNACK TIME!

Woman: BILLY! SNACK TIME!

DON'T LOSE THE MONEY YOU GET.

DON'T LOSE THE MONEY YOU GET.

EVERYONE LOVES THAT SMILE. REMEMBER.

YOUR PHOTO WILL BE IN THE PAPERS.

IFSHE SELLS THE MOST BAGS.

OH, SHE WILL.

SHE'S THE PERFECT LITTLE SALESWOMAN.

MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION, HONEY.

WE'RE STILL THE NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK.

OFF TO WORK WE GO.

DON'T FIDDLE WITH YOUR SOCKS.

THEY'RE JUST NEW.

BE CAREFUL ON THE ROADS.

WATCH FOR CARS. LOOK LEFT AND RIGHT.

NOW GET GOING.

NOW GET GOING.

Clare: WHATEVER YOU DO,

DON'T GO OUTSIDE THE GATE, SWEETHEART.

DON'T GO OUTSIDE THE GATE, SWEETHEART.

DADDY LOVES YOU.

DADDY LOVES YOU.

Radio: ♪♪♪♪ OLDIES 103 ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ WRKA ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ WRKA ♪♪♪♪

DEVON STOCKARD.

NOW, THERE'S A GIRL WHO'S OUT TO CONQUER THE WORLD.

YOU WANT ME TO BUY A BAG OF THOSE COOKIES FROM YOU?

YOU'RE NOT ON MY LIST.

YOU'RE NOT ON MY LIST.

[HUFFS]

[HUFFS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Man: CAN I HELP YOU?

YEAH. I FINISHED YOUR LAWN, SIR.

ALREADY?

I DID A GOOD JOB. SHRUBS, BACK, AND SIDES.

GOT ALL THE WEEDS, SIR.

GOT ALL THE WEEDS, SIR.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

SIR, YOU THINK I COULD USE YOUR BATHROOM FACILITIES?

SIR, YOU THINK I COULD USE YOUR BATHROOM FACILITIES?

GUESS NOT.

GUESS NOT.

[URINATING]

[URINATING]

AHH.

[ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC BLARING]

[ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC BLARING]

[IGNITION STALLS]

[IGNITION STALLS]

CAN I GIVE YOU SOME HELP, SON?

CAN I GIVE YOU SOME HELP, SON?

OH, I CAN GET IT, THANKS.

OH, I CAN GET IT, THANKS.

JUST TELL ME WHEN.

JUST A MINUTE.

JUST A MINUTE.

OK.

OK.

[IGNITION STALLS]

NOTHING.

ALL RIGHT, TRY IT AGAIN.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[ENGINE STARTS]

GET IN.

GET IN.

LOTS OF LAWNS.

LOTS OF LAWNS.

BUSINESS MUST BE GOOD.

WELL, I'M NOT COMPLAINING.

YOU LIVE CLOSE BY HERE?

[CHUCKLES]

NOT THAT CLOSE BY.

HA.

ME EITHER.

ME EITHER.

WHAT YOU GOT IN THAT COOLER?

OH. SODA POP.

SHIT. I WAS HOPING IT WAS ICE-COLD BEER.

IT'S HOTTER THAN A CAT'S CROTCH TODAY,

ISN'T IT?

YEAH.

AND I STINK. I NEED A SHOWER.

AND I STINK. I NEED A SHOWER.

[CLANG]

[CLANG]

I USED TO MOW LAWNS WHEN I WAS A KID.

I USED TO MOW LAWNS WHEN I WAS A KID.

AFTER A WHILE,

IT GETS TO BE THERE'S NOTHING IN THE WORLD

BUT LAWNS. GREEN LAWNS.

AND THE BEST DAMN THING ABOUT LAWNS IS...

THEY ALWAYS GROW BACK.

THEY ALWAYS GROW BACK.

LET'S NOT BE IN HERE PAST 5:00

UNLESS YOU CLEAR IT WITH ME FIRST.

UNLESS YOU CLEAR IT WITH ME FIRST.

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]

♪♪♪♪ I'M A THOUSAND MILES FROM NOWHERE ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ I'M A THOUSAND MILES FROM NOWHERE ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ ♪♪♪♪ TIME DON'T MATTER TO ME

♪♪♪♪ I'M A THOUSAND MILES FROM NOWHERE ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ AND THERE'S NO PLACE I WANNA BE ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ AND THERE'S NO PLACE I WANNA BE ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ I GOT HEARTACHES IN MY POCKET ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ ♪♪♪♪ I GOT ECHOES IN MY HEAD

♪♪♪♪ AND ALL THAT I KEEP HEARING ♪♪♪♪

[HORNS HONKING]

♪♪♪♪ ARE THE CRUEL, CRUEL THINGS THAT YOU SAID ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ ARE THE CRUEL, CRUEL THINGS THAT YOU SAID ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ I'M A THOUSAND MILES FROM NOWHERE ♪♪♪♪

[HORNS HONKING]

♪♪♪♪ ♪♪♪♪ TIME DON'T MATTER TO ME

♪♪♪♪ 'CAUSE I'M A THOUSAND MILES FROM NOWHERE ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ AND THERE'S NO PLACE I WANNA BE ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ AND THERE'S NO PLACE I WANNA BE ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ WHY? ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ WHY? ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ OH, OH, WHY? ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ OH, OH, WHY? ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ OH, WHY? ♪♪♪♪

[GASPS]

[GASPS]

HE'S INSANE. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.

I WONDER IF HE'S GONNA BE HERE NEXT FRIDAY.

I WONDER IF HE'S GONNA BE HERE NEXT FRIDAY.

COME ON.

SHOW'S OVER.

SHOW'S OVER.

AT THE EDGE OF A BIG, DARK FOREST,

LIVED A GIRL AND HER MOTHER AND FATHER.

ONE DAY, HER MOTHER SAID, "GIRL,

"I SHALL MAKE YOU A BATCH OF COOKIES,

AND YOU MUST GO AND SELL THEM IN THE FOREST."

NOW, THE GIRL WAS NOT STUPID.

SHE KNEW THEY WERE TRYING TO GET RID OF HER.

BUT HER FATHER SAID, "DON'T ARGUE,"

SO SHE WENT.

SO SHE WENT.

THE GIRL WALKED ON

TILL SHE CAME TO A CLEARING IN THE FOREST.

TILL SHE CAME TO A CLEARING IN THE FOREST.

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CLEARING,

THERE WAS A HUT

AND A VERY SKINNY DOG.

AND A VERY SKINNY DOG.

THE DOG WAS STARVING.

THE GIRL SAID TO THE DOG, "YOU LOOK HUNGRY."

SO SHE FED IT.

SO SHE FED IT.

[CHIMING]

[CHIMING]

BABIAGA'S HOUSE.

BABIAGA'S HOUSE.

[METALLIC CREAKING]

[METALLIC CREAKING]

OH.

OH.

HELLO.

I'M DEVON TOMPKINS STOCKARD,

YOUNG RANGER.

I'M SELLING THUMBPRINT COOKIES.

ALL PROCEEDS

GO TO THE PINE CONE CHARITY HOUSE

OF McCADE COUNTY.

OF McCADE COUNTY.

IS THAT A '65 FORD?

THE '65 F-100

IS THE BEST MOTOR FORD EVER MADE.

IS IT 3 ON A TREE?

YEAH.

MY UNCLE HAD A TRUCK LIKE THAT.

HE WAS RUSSIAN...

FROM INDIANA.

BORN ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE TRAIN.

WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS.

WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS.

RIGHT.

RIGHT.

HE SAID THE MOUNTS WERE GOING BAD ON THE TRUCK,

SO ONE NIGHT HE DROVE IT INTO SPOON RIVER

AND NEVER DROVE BACK OUT.

WHAT A SHAME.

THAT'S WHAT MY AUNT SAID.

YOU CAN REBUILD THEM MOUNTS.

I DID.

CAN YOU TAKE ME FOR A RIDE IN IT?

CAN YOU TAKE ME FOR A RIDE IN IT?

I DON'T WANT TO BUY ANY...

COOKIES.

THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY.

GO HOME.

GO HOME.

4 BAGS?

DOES THAT INCLUDE THE 2 THAT WE BOUGHT?

YOU'LL HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT.

HOW FAR DID YOU GET DOWN THE LIST?

IT ALL DEPENDS ON YOUR FACE.

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU GOT IN THE BAGS THEY WANT TO BUY.

IT'S YOUR HAPPY FACE.

THE ONES THAT WEREN'T HOME, TRY TOMORROW.

DON'T FORGET TO SAY IT'S FOR THE CHARITY HOUSE.

BE A SHAME IF SOME OTHER GIRL GOT HER PICTURE IN THE PAPER.

YOU'LL DO BETTER TOMORROW, SWEETHEART.

GIVE ME A KISS.

GIVE ME A KISS.

GOOD NIGHT, SWEETHEART.

MMM.

I'LL BE UP IN A LITTLE WHILE.

I'LL BE UP IN A LITTLE WHILE.

I CHANGED YOUR DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT

FOR DAY AFTER TOMORROW,

9:30 A.M.

9:30 A.M.

Morton: I'D LIKE TO SEE HER HAPPY FOR A CHANGE.

Clare: SHE'S GOING THROUGH A STAGE.

IT'S HER AGE.

YEAH, BUT ALL WE GET IS MOPE AND COMPLAIN.

IMAGINE WHAT SHE'LL BE LIKE IN A FEW YEARS.

SHE HARDLY COMPLAINS.

SHE COULD AT LEAST PRETEND TO BE HAPPY.

WHEN I WAS A KID,

THAT'S WHAT YOU DID FOR YOUR PARENTS.

WE'VE ONLY BEEN SETTLED FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS.

GIVE IT TIME.

SHE'S MET THAT ONE GIRL. DONNA?

OH, I FEEL SORRY FOR THAT DONNA KID'S FATHER.

IMAGINE HAVING A--OW--

DAUGHTER WITH A FACE LIKE A POSSUM.

DAUGHTER WITH A FACE LIKE A POSSUM.

SHE'S GOT A LOVELY VOICE.

IF I'M GONNA HAVE A VOICE, WE'VE GOTTA START PUSHING.

ELECTIONS FOR THE COUNTY BOARD ARE THIS FALL.

THAT WILL BE 4 BOARDS YOU'RE GOING AFTER.

YOU'LL HAVE TO BE CAREFUL

YOU DON'T LOSE YOUR OWN VOICE.

IF I WANT A REAL SAY IN THIS COUNTY,

IN THIS SUBURB RIGHT HERE WHERE WE LIVE,

THEN I'VE GOT TO BECOME THE BOARD MAN--

THE MODEL OF CITIZEN INVOLVEMENT.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

ISN'T THAT WHY WE MOVED BACK HERE?

ISN'T THAT WHY WE MOVED BACK HERE?

[WIND WHISTLING]

[WIND WHISTLING]

AWOO!

AWOO!

AWOO!

AWOO!

AWOO!

AWOO!

Wolf: [AWOOOO]

[AWOOO]

[AWOOO]

I WANT US ALL TO MAKE A HOME HERE, DEV.

I WANT US ALL TO MAKE A HOME HERE, DEV.

I WANT YOU TO FIND LOTS OF NEW FRIENDS.

I WANT YOU TO FIND LOTS OF NEW FRIENDS.

POPULAR GIRL IS NEVER BORED.

OR BORING.

OR BORING.

LOOK, HONEY...

THIS IS THE NEW DEV.

RIGHT HERE.

RIGHT HERE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOUR NEW FRIENDS

ANYTHING ABOUT THE OLD DEV

YOU DON'T WANT TO.

YOU DON'T WANT TO.

AND THE NEW DEVON,

SHE'S RARING TO GO, ISN'T SHE?

SHE'S RARING TO GO, ISN'T SHE?

I LOVE YOU, HONEY.

I LOVE YOU, HONEY.

THE WORLD'S AT YOUR FEET,

SWEETHEART.

THANKS, DAD.

THANKS, DAD.

AAH!

HALT, SQUAW!

HALT, SQUAW!

YOU'D BE DOING THE COMMUNITY A FAVOR.

YOU'D BE DOING THE COMMUNITY A FAVOR.

BANG.

BANG.

HELLO, MRS. STOCKARD.

HELLO, BRETT.

HELLO, BRETT.

YOU SHOULD CALL

SPRAY GREEN LAWN SERVICE.

THEY'LL HAVE THOSE WEEDS OUT IN A COUPLE OF HOURS.

I LIKE TO WORK UP A LITTLE SWEAT.

IF YOU LEAVE THE ROOT IN, IT'LL GROW BACK.

JUST RIPPING THE HEADS OFF IS MORE FUN.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO LEND A HAND?

AND DO SOMETHING USEFUL THIS SUMMER?

SOUNDS CRIMINAL TO ME.

[CLARE GIGGLES]

YOU SHOULD BOTH HAVE SUMMER JOBS,

KEEP YOUR MINDS SHARP.

IF WE HAD JOBS, WHO'D HELP YOU WEED?

IF WE HAD JOBS, WHO'D HELP YOU WEED?

I'LL JUST LET YOU TWO FINISH UP HERE, HUH?

I'LL JUST LET YOU TWO FINISH UP HERE, HUH?

Woman, giggling: STOP IT.

NO. STOP.

STOP IT.

STOP IT.

[WOMAN GIGGLING]

[WOMAN GIGGLING]

[WOMAN SQUEALS]

[TRENT LAUGHS]

Woman: STOP IT!

GRR.

GRR.

[CHOMPING NOISES]

MMM.

MMM.

WHAT WAS THAT?

WHAT WAS THAT?

HEY,

ISN'T THAT MY BELT?

FOUND IT ON THE DRESSER.

FOUND IT ON THE DRESSER.

BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP MY PANTS UP?

YOU'LL THINK OF SOMETHING.

HEY, UH, PATTY.

YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT THAT RIDE? COUNTRY CLUB?

TABLES, TENNIS COURTS?

NO, THANKS. I CAN MAKE IT.

AND IT'SPAM.

PAM GREGORY.

SEE YOU, TRAILER MAN.

HEY, I'M NOT ALWAYS GONNA LIVE IN A SOUP CAN.

NEXT YEAR, I'M GONNA BE AT THE, UH...

WHITE HOUSE.

WHITE HOUSE.

BABIAGA WENT INSIDE,

PUT A HUGE KETTLE ON TO BOIL.

PUT A HUGE KETTLE ON TO BOIL.

THE DOG TOLD THE GIRL TO RUN

'CAUSE BABIAGA WAS GOING TO COOK HER.

BUT THE GIRL KNEW

SHE COULD NEVER OUTRUN BABIAGA BONY LEGS.

SHE COULD NEVER OUTRUN BABIAGA BONY LEGS.

WHEN THEY SENT THE GIRL INTO THE FOREST,

SHE WAS KIND TO THE THINGS SHE FOUND.

SHE FOUND A TREE AND DRESSED IT UP IN RIBBONS.

TREES DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT PEOPLE.

TREES DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT PEOPLE.

WAS THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND?

LOOK, I GOT SOME LAWNS TO TAKE CARE OF,

SO...

CAN YOU CLIMB A TREE?

I'D CLIMB IT MYSELF,

BUT I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO STRAIN.

I'M TELLING YOU TO LEAVE.

I'M TELLING YOU TO LEAVE.

OK, I'LL LEAVE...

BUT ONLY IF YOU HELP ME HANG THE REST OF THESE RIBBONS.

I DON'T LIKE RIBBONS,

AND I GOT ME A HANGOVER.

AND I GOT ME A HANGOVER.

YOU KNOW, I ALMOST DIED.

TWICE.

CLIMBING A TREE?

NO.

I ALMOST DIED, TOO.

HOW?

SHOTGUN.

YOU?

IT'S A LEMON--MY HEART.

YOU KNOW HOW YOURS GOES DEE-DUM, DEE-DUM, DEE-DUM?

YEAH.

MINE GOES DEE-DEE-DUM, DEE-DEE-DUM, DEE-DEE-DUM.

SO ARE YOU DYING OR WHAT?

NOT ANYMORE.

THEY PUT IN AN EXTRA PUMPING STATION.

MMM. NICE.

MMM. NICE.

CAN I SEE YOUR SCAR?

IT'S UGLY.

COOL.

DON'T YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS YOUR AGE?

KIDS YOU CAN HANG OUT WITH AND STUFF?

I DON'T LIKE KIDS.

THEY SMELL LIKE TV.

AND THEY TALK TOO FAST.

AND THEY TALK TOO FAST.

HIGHER. GO HIGHER.

HIGHER. GO HIGHER.

SHIT!

SHIT!

OHH...

AAH!

AAH!

OHHH!

HEY! I COULD BE DYING OVER HERE.

HEY! I COULD BE DYING OVER HERE.

IS YOUR HEART GOING DIDDY-DUM, DIDDY-DUM,

DIDDY-DUM?

SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

HEY, COME HERE.

GET ME A BEER OUT OF MY TRUCK.

IT'S IN THE COOLER.

AND THE CIGARETTES ARE ON THE DASH.

AND THE CIGARETTES ARE ON THE DASH.

[IMITATING ENGINE NOISES]

[IMITATING ENGINE NOISES]

BEEP BEEP!

OHHHH!

OHHHH!

OHH.

OHH.

MMM.

MMM.

[BELCHES]

[BELCHES]

[BELCHES]

[BELCHES]

WHERE'D YOU GET SHOT?

IN THE GUT.

BY A ROBBER?

[CHORTLES]

LOOK, I HAVE TO DO 3, MAYBE 4 LAWNS.

YOU'RE FROM CAMELOT, RIGHT?

CAMELOT GARDENS. YUP.

OVER THE HILLS AND FAR AWAY.

OVER THE HILLS AND FAR AWAY.

IT'S BETTER IF I LET YOU OFF HERE.

IT'S BETTER IF I LET YOU OFF HERE.

YEAH, I KNOW.

YEAH, I KNOW.

[STARTS ENGINE]

[STARTS ENGINE]

TV: WE'RE TOLD BY OTHER U.S. OFFICIALS

THAT THIS WAS A CLEAR DESIRE ON THE PART OF THE U.S...

Devon: TRACKER.

TO TRY TO EMBARRASS SADDAM HUSSEIN.

[GROWLING]

Sean: BE CAREFUL, DEVON.

MY DOG DOESN'T LIKE KIDS.

TV: THAT WOULD BE A FURTHER INFRINGEMENT...

CLARE! PEOPLE ARE GETTING HUNGRY OUT HERE, DEAR.

[WHISPERING] Tracker.

[GROWLING]

TRACKER.

LEAVE THE DOG BE, HONEY.

TV: ...ZONE OPERATIONS WITH IMPUNITY.

WOULD YOU GO TELL HER

WE'RE ABOUT READY FOR THE SALAD?

ALL RIGHT.

TV: HE IS NOW IN THE OVAL OFFICE.

WE'RE TOLD HE HAS A BRIEF STATEMENT.

HE WILL MAKE THAT STATEMENT...

HE WILL MAKE THAT STATEMENT...

THEY NEED THE SALAD, MRS. STOCKARD.

YES, WELL...

I SHOULD THINK WE COULD HAVE THAT READY IN ABOUT 4 MINUTES.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

[MOANING]

[MOANING]

YES.

YES.

THESALADE EST ARRIV￩E.

THESALADE EST ARRIV￩E.

[WE ARE FAMILY BY SISTER SLEDGE PLAYING]

[WE ARE FAMILY BY SISTER SLEDGE PLAYING]

HEY.

HEY.

HEY.

OH, HELLO.

CAN I HELP YOU?

I FINISHED YOUR LAWN, SIR.

I DID THE TRIMMING AS WELL, AND I BLEW THE--

OH, YES.

WE HEARD YOU LOUD AND CLEAR.

WE HEARD YOU LOUD AND CLEAR.

WORKED UP AN APPETITE, SON?

OH.

DEVON, THROW A COUPLE OF HOT DOGS ON THE GRILL

FOR THIS YOUNG MAN.

OH, NO, THANK YOU, SIR, BUT I BETTER--

I BETTER GET BACK TO WORK.

NONSENSE. YOU GO TAKE A SEAT OVER THERE.

NONSENSE. YOU GO TAKE A SEAT OVER THERE.

♪♪♪♪ WE ARE FAMILY ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ WE ARE FAMILY ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ I GOT ALL MY SISTERS WITH ME ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ I GOT ALL MY SISTERS WITH ME ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ WE ARE FAMILY ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ WE ARE FAMILY ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ GET UP, EVERYBODY, AND SING ♪♪♪♪

HEY, I HEARD A RUMOR

THAT PAMELA GREGORY SCREWED YOU LAST NIGHT?

NOW, TELL ME THAT ISN'T TRUE.

NOW, TELL ME THAT ISN'T TRUE.

WHAT COULD YOU AND HER POSSIBLY HAVE IN COMMON?

WHAT COULD YOU AND HER POSSIBLY HAVE IN COMMON?

AH, BRETT, PUTTING YOUR SOCIAL SKILLS TO WORK AGAIN.

YES, I AM.

YES, I AM.

SO WHAT YOU GONNA BE WHEN YOU GROW UP, HUH?

LANDSCAPE DESIGNER?

[TRACKER GROWLS]

CONSERVATIONIST?

HEY, WHICH COLLEGES YOU APPLY TO, BOY?

REAL CHARMER, ISN'T HE?

WHAT ABOUT COMPUTER DESIGN?

THAT'S A SOLID CHOICE.

EVERYBODY'S GOING IN FOR THAT THESE DAYS.

YEAH, LET'S TALK ABOUT EXOTIC CAREERS.

HIGH-DIVING, FOR INSTANCE.

SAY FROM...BRIDGES.

SAY SINGLE-LANE BRIDGES.

Morton: HOT DOGS COMING UP.

PLENTY OF KETCHUP FOR YOU, RIGHT?

Trent: YEAH. OH, THANK YOU, SIR.

YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO KNOW ANYTHING

ABOUT ALL THOSE LAMPSHADES

KEEP DISAPPEARING AROUND HERE, WOULD YOU?

♪♪♪♪ GET UP, EVERYBODY, AND SING ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ GET UP, EVERYBODY, AND SING ♪♪♪♪

UM...I CAN'T HELP YOU, SIR.

IT'S THE FUNNIEST THING.

I MEAN, WHAT COULD A PERSON DO WITH SO MANY LAMPSHADES?

SELL THEM.

SELL THEM.

SIR...

SIR...

FOR YOUR LAWN?

OH. YEAH.

HERE WE GO.

HERE WE GO.

HERE'S 20.

HERE. AHEM.

OH. ALL RIGHT,

YOU'RE JUST $10 SHY HERE, MR. STOCKARD.

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

I'M SAYING YOU'RE $10 SHY OF WHAT WE AGREED ON.

I JUST GAVE YOU A COUPLE OF HOT DOGS, DIDN'T I?

I JUST GAVE YOU A COUPLE OF HOT DOGS, DIDN'T I?

JUST PULLING YOUR LEG THERE, SON.

[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER]

TAKE THAT WITH YOU.

TAKE THAT WITH YOU.

ALL RIGHT, MEAT'S ON!

ALL RIGHT, MEAT'S ON!

MAJOR BURN, MAN.

♪♪♪♪ EVERYBODY, HEY, HEY, HEY ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ WE ARE FAMILY ♪♪♪♪

Girl: WHERE WERE YOU GUYS?

Woman: YOU'RE A BETTER MAN THAN I AM.

Man: I SHOULD HOPE SO.

[LAUGHS]

HEY.

♪♪♪♪ WE ARE FAMILY ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ WE ARE FAMILY ♪♪♪♪

K-COUNTY SCHOOL.

K-COUNTY SCHOOL.

SEAN TAURUS.

SEAN TAURUS.

THIRD GRADE, REMEMBER?

THIRD GRADE, REMEMBER?

NO.

I WAS ONLY THERE A FEW MONTHS.

MY PARENTS PULLED ME OUT AND PUT ME IN PRIVATE.

OH, YEAH.

YEAH.

YEAH, YOUR DAD DROVE THAT BLUE BMW.

DID HE?

I DON'T REMEMBER.

I REMEMBER. IT WAS THE ONLY NEW CAR

IN THE SCHOOL PARKING LOT THAT WINTER.

IN THE SCHOOL PARKING LOT THAT WINTER.

WE WERE FRIENDS, RIGHT?

NO. WE WAS JUST IN THE SAME CLASS.

NO. WE WAS JUST IN THE SAME CLASS.

YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER

THAN TO COME TO A PARTY DRESSED LIKE SHIT.

IN THIRD GRADE, YOU HAD BETTER TASTE.

IN THIRD GRADE, YOU HAD BETTER TASTE.

MY BET IS YOU COULD HAVE MADE A GOOD SURGEON.

MY BET IS YOU COULD HAVE MADE A GOOD SURGEON.

LIKE YOUR DADDY?

YOU'VE GOT THE HANDS FOR IT.

YOU'VE GOT THE HANDS FOR IT.

[DOOR SLAMS]

[FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY]

[FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY]

[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER]

[URINATING]

[URINATING]

GO AHEAD,

MAKE MY DAY.

BAH!

BAH!

[CHUCKLES]

OH.

OH.

DADDY'S GUN, HUH?

DADDY'S GUN, HUH?

THAT'S PRETTY DANGEROUS.

THAT'S PRETTY DANGEROUS.

HMM.

HMM.

YOU EVER WONDER...

WHAT ONE OF THESE MIGHT FEEL LIKE...

WHAT ONE OF THESE MIGHT FEEL LIKE...

GOING IN?

GOING IN?

YOU SMELL LIKE YOUR MOM.

YOU SMELL LIKE YOUR MOM.

GET OUT!

GET OUT!

HEY.

SHH.

SHH.

MOM.

HMM?

TRACY ASKED ME IF I COULD SPEND THE NIGHT.

TRACY WHO?

TRACY KELLER.

YOU KNOW, I MET HER AT THE PICNIC LAST WEEK.

YOU LIKED HER PARENTS.

HER DAD'S WITH THE FEDERAL SECURITY BANK.

IS HE? HMM.

ALL RIGHT, BUT LATER ON.

FIRST, YOU NEED TO GET THE DOLLS

OUT OF THE BATH

AND THEIR ARMS OUT OF THE SINK.

OK.

SEE? WHAT DID I TELL YOU?

SHE'S MADE A FRIEND ALREADY.

JUST A MATTER OF TIME.

JUST A MATTER OF TIME.

[WATER RUNNING]

[WATER RUNNING]

DON'T WAIT.

DON'T WAIT.

CAN'T I COME IN WITH YOU?

NO. I'LL LOOK LIKE A KID, OK?

ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

I'LL CALL YOU IN A FEW HOURS.

TRY TO HAVE FUN, SWEETHEART.

[STARTS ENGINE]

[STARTS ENGINE]

HAVE A NICE EVENING.

HAVE A NICE EVENING.

[MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING]

[MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING]

I'D GIVE YOU A RIDE HOME,

BUT MY TANK'S ON EMPTY.

[LAUGHS] I'M NOT SURPRISED.

I'D RATHER BIKE. IT'S JUST UP THE ROAD.

HEY, PAM, WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER?

[LAUGHS] WHAT DO YOU NEED MY NUMBER FOR?

YOU HAVEN'T GOT A PHONE.

NO. BUT I GOT A QUARTER.

LUCKY MAN.

SO I'LL SEE YOU AROUND?

RIGHT, SURE. SAME TIME NEXT WEEK?

UM, MAYBE.

MY SCHEDULE'S KIND OF WACKY,

BUT, UM, I'LL DROP BY WHEN I CAN.

HEY, I WANT TO BE INTRODUCED TO YOUR MOTHER...

AND YOUR FATHER...

ANY DOGS, CATS, OR CANARIES YOU LIVE WITH.

RIGHT.

I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.

I'M SURE THEY'D LOVE TO MEET ME.

I'M SURE THEY'D LOVE TO MEET ME.

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[FOOTSTEPS]

[FOOTSTEPS]

HI.

HI.

WHAT DID IT FEEL LIKE WHEN YOU GOT SHOT?

WHAT IT'S LIKE GETTING SHOT.

COULD YOU FEEL THE BULLET GO IN?

DON'T REMEMBER.

I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED IF IT HAPPENED TO ME.

I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED IF IT HAPPENED TO ME.

OW!

SHIT.

SHIT.

GOT ANY WHISKEY?

IT STINGS, BUT IT KILLS THE GERMS.

NO.

NO.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SUCK THE POISON OUT, OR YOU DIE.

WHAT POISON?

WHAT POISON?

I READ IN A BOOK ON SNAKES.

I READ IN A BOOK ON SNAKES.

A SNAKE DIDN'T BITE ME.

THEN THE NEXT TIME ONE DOES,

YOU'LL KNOW WHAT TO DO.

YOU'LL KNOW WHAT TO DO.

I'M NOT AFRAID OF BLOOD.

EVERY TIME THEY OPENED ME UP,

I LOST A BATHTUBFUL.

HOW MUCH BLOOD DID YOU LOSE WHEN YOU GOT SHOT?

I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW.

DID YOU NEARLY DIE?

YEAH. I GUESS I DID.

YEAH. I GUESS I DID.

WE WAS DRINKING, ME AND JEFF, AND WE...

RUN OUT OF BEER, PULL OVER AT THE 5 STORE,

AND THERE'S THESE 3 J-TOWN COPS

SLURPING ON DOUGHNUTS AND COFFEE.

I KNOW THEM, AND THEY SURE KNOW ME, SO...

I'M A-PAYING FOR MY 12 OF BUD,

AND I TURN TO THE 3 OF THEM,

AND I LET OUT THIS KILLER BURP.

AND I LET OUT THIS KILLER BURP.

I MEAN, THIS SON OF A BITCH WAS LOUD AS A SHOTGUN.

KIND OF RUINED THEIR SNACK, I GUESS.

SO 5 MINUTES LATER, THEY PULL US OVER.

JEFF GETS SCARED. HE MAKES A RUN FOR IT.

SO NOW THEY THINK WE GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE.

AND THEY'RE WHACKING ME WITH THEIR STICKS

UNTIL FINALLY I WAS ABLE TO PUNCH ONE OF THEM,

AND I BUSTED HIS NOSE, AND HIS BUDDY...

AIMS HIS SHOTGUN AT ME.

BANG BANG.

YOU'RE DEAD.

YOU'RE DEAD.

ONLY I WASN'T.

ONLY I WASN'T.

WOW.

WOW.

WHAT HAPPENED TO JEFF?

MMM.

MMM.

JEFF WAS OK.

HE GOT, UH...

3 MONTHS. I GOT 6.

BOY, I TELL YOU.

PEOPLE SAY YOU'RE TRASH.

PEOPLE SAY YOU'RE TRASH.

YEAH. I GUESS THEY DO.

I WOULDN'T LIKE THAT.

I WOULDN'T LIKE THAT.

WELL, YOU GET USED TO IT.

MY FATHER SAYS IF EVERYONE WORKED HARD,

THERE WOULDN'T BE ANY POOR PEOPLE.

YOU'RE A POOR PERSON, AREN'T YOU?

YOU'RE A POOR PERSON, AREN'T YOU?

HE SAYS THAT ANYONE WHO WORKS HARD CAN BE RICH,

JUST LIKE HIM.

SOUNDS LIKE YOU GOT A SMART DADDY.

SOUNDS LIKE YOU GOT A SMART DADDY.

TRASH IS SOMETHING YOU PUT A LID ON 'CAUSE IT STINKS.

YOU DON'T SMELL THAT BAD.

YOU DON'T SMELL THAT BAD.

THAT MAKES MY DAY.

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

[CLEARS THROAT]

THE WAY I SEE IT, YOU GOT PEOPLE WHO OWN LAWNS,

AND YOU GOT PEOPLE WHO MOW THEM.

AND THEY'RE NEVER THE SAME PEOPLE.

AND THEY'RE NEVER THE SAME PEOPLE.

OK, IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GET ON HOME.

I TOLD MY MOM I'D SPEND THE NIGHT AT TRACY KELLER'S.

DO YOU KNOW TRACY KELLER?

NO.

NEITHER DO I.

NEITHER DO I.

WAIT A MINUTE.

SO WHERE DO I SLEEP?

SO WHERE DO I SLEEP?

GO HOME.

NO.

NO.

[SIGHS] GET OUT OF HERE.

JUST GO.

JUST GO.

WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT FROM ME?

WHAT?

WHAT?

HUH?

WHAT?

WHAT?

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

[LAUGHS]

YOU CAN HAVE IT.

ANYTHING YOU WANT HERE, IT'S YOURS. TAKE IT.

OK?

OK?

WHAT'S WITH YOU?

WHAT'S WITH YOU?

YOU CURIOUS? YOU JUST CURIOUS?

YOU GOT ALL THAT OUT THERE.

EVERYTHING OUT THERE IS YOURS.

THERE'S NOTHING HERE FOR YOU, YOU UNDERSTAND?

THERE'S NOTHING HERE FOR YOU, YOU UNDERSTAND?

GO HOME.

GO HOME.

GO HOME.

GO HOME.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[DOOR CLOSES]

KNOW WHERE WE CAN FIND 2 LIVE CHICKENS?

KNOW WHERE WE CAN FIND 2 LIVE CHICKENS?

WHY DON'T WE JUST DRIVE TO THE SUPERMARKET?

THEY HAVE TO BE FRESH.

THE ONES AT THE SUPERMARKET HAVE BEEN FROZEN FOR YEARS.

MAYBE LONGER.

YOU KNOW,

STEALING LIVESTOCK'S A CRIMINAL OFFENSE.

WE COULD GO TO JAIL.

WE WON'T BE STEALING THEM.

WE'LL JUST BE BORROWING THEM.

AND THEN WE'LL CHANGE OUR MINDS AND EAT THEM.

AND THEN WE'LL CHANGE OUR MINDS AND EAT THEM.

TRUST ME.

TRUST ME.

LOOK, A CHICKEN WALK.

LOOK, A CHICKEN WALK.

UHH.

SHH.

THEY'RE TRYING TO SLEEP.

THEY'RE TRYING TO SLEEP.

COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!

[COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO]

[SQUAWKING]

[SQUAWKING]

COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!

[COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO]

[COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO]

TRENT!

TRENT, I CAUGHT ONE.

TRENT, I CAUGHT ONE.

LOOKS LIKE YOUR LUCK'S CHANGED, BUDDY.

JUST A FEW MORE MINUTES TILL THE END OF YOUR LIFE.

[SQUAWKS]

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]

UM, TRACY'S FINE.

WE'RE HAVING CHICKEN FOR DINNER.

WELL, UM...

HER MOM CAN'T COME TO THE PHONE RIGHT NOW.

SHE'S HAVING A BATH.

SHE'S HAVING A BATH.

GOT TO GO, MOM.

TRACY'S WAVING AT ME.

SEE YA. LOVE YOU.

BYE.

[SQUAWKING]

[SQUAWKING]

DO YOU THINK IF WE'D MET HUNDREDS OF YEARS AGO,

WE'D STILL HAVE ENDED UP AS FRIENDS?

WE'RE NOT FRIENDS.

WE'RE NOT FRIENDS.

WE'RE HUNTERS.

WE'RE HUNTERS.

SO WHO'S GONNA KILL THE MEAT?

YOU DO YOURS, AND THEN I'LL DO MINE.

MMM. DO YOU KNOW HOW?

NOT YET.

[SQUAWKS]

[SQUAWKS]

[BELCHES]

[BELCHES]

[BELCHES]

[BELCHES]

[BELCHES]

[BELCHES]

IF YOU PROMISE NEVER TO PULL THIS ONE ON ME AGAIN,

I'LL LET YOU SLEEP OVER.

I'LL LET YOU SLEEP OVER.

WHAT YOU THINK YOUR DAD WOULD DO IF HE FOUND OUT?

HE'D CUT OFF MY FEET.

THAT'S RIGHT.

AND THEN HE'D TIE YOU TO A STAKE AND BURN YOU.

AND THEN HE'D TIE YOU TO A STAKE AND BURN YOU.

BABIAGA BONY LEGS,

HIS TEETH MADE OF STEEL,

AND HE CAN BITE THROUGH TREES,

AND HIS LEGS ARE LIKE CHICKEN LEGS.

HEY, WHO IS THIS BABIAGA?

A WITCH WHO LIVES IN A FOREST.

NO, I MEAN, WHAT'S THIS MONSTER STAND FOR?

THE MORAL OF THE STORY?

YEAH.

FOR WHATEVER'S BAD, I GUESS.

SOMETIMES WHEN IT'S DARK,

BABIAGA GOES OUT INTO THE FIELD,

AND A WILD DOG COMES TO MEET HIM.

AND THEN A BIG, SCARY WIND STARTS TO BLOW AND BLOW.

AIEEEE-OOOOH!

AY-OOOOH!

THEN BABIAGA KILLS THE DOG WITH HIS BARE HANDS

AND EATS IT.

THEN BABIAGA SINGS AND DANCES,

HIS BELLY ALL FULL OF DOG MEAT AND BLOOD.

HIS BELLY ALL FULL OF DOG MEAT AND BLOOD.

♪♪♪♪ AY AIEE AY ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ AIEE AIEE AIEE AY ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ AY AY AIEE AY ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ AIEE AIEE AIEE AY ♪♪♪♪

[CONTINUES SINGING]

[CONTINUES SINGING]

DO YOU KNOW HOW THE GIRL ESCAPES FROM BABIAGA?

NO.

A STARVING DOG SHE FED

GIVES HER A MAGIC COMB AND EMBROIDERED TOWEL.

AND THE GIRL RUNS AWAY THROUGH THE FOREST.

AND WHEN BABIAGA ALMOST HAS HER,

THE GIRL THROWS DOWN THE TOWEL,

AND A GREAT RIVER SPRINGS UP.

AND BABIAGA CAN'T CROSS

TILL HE DRIVES HIS COWS TO DRINK UP ALL THE WATER.

LOOK, I GOT TO GET UP EARLY, OK?

WHEN BABIAGA'S AT HER HEELS,

THE GIRL THROWS DOWN THE COMB,

THEN A GREAT FOREST SPRINGS UP BEHIND HER.

THE END, OK?

THE END, OK?

THAT'S THE THIRD ONE

THEY GOT ON YOUR STREET THIS WEEK.

SOMEONE IS MAKING FOOLS OF US.

I'VE BEEN WATCHING THE LAMPS IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD

AT ALL HOURS, ALL HOURS.

I DON'T LIKE IT ONE BIT. WE'RE INSECURE.

I DON'T LIKE IT ONE BIT. WE'RE INSECURE.

[AIRPLANE FLIES BY]

[MACHINE GUN FIRING]

[EXPLOSIONS]

AAH!

LET'S SEE SOME BLOOD ON THE SAND!

GO ON, BRING THE SECOND SQUAD!

GO ON!

[HELICOPTER FLYING]

[SHOUTING]

[SHOUTING]

IT WON'T TAKE ALL DAY, WILL IT?

IT'LL TAKE AS LONG AS IT TAKES.

CAN I COME?

I CAN HELP YOU.

I'LL DROP YOU OFF AT THE GATE.

I CAN PULL WEEDS.

NO. BUT I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL.

WE CAN BE FRIENDS

IF YOU CAN KEEP IT A SECRET.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU AND ME BEING FRIENDS?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU AND ME BEING FRIENDS?

WELL, FOR ONE THING,

I'M A COUNTRY BUMPKIN, RIGHT?

I WAS BORN SUCKIN' ON A BOTTLE OF ROTGUT,

AND I'M A PISS-POOR, RETARDED SON OF A BITCH.

DO ANYTHING FOR A BUCK.

I SLOBBER, AND I SPIT.

AND I--[SNORTS]

HEY!

FART. PFFT!

PUT ME DOWN.

AND I EAT LITTLE PRINCESSES LIKE YOU

FOR BREAKFAST! ARRGH!

FOR BREAKFAST! ARRGH!

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

I'M NOT A PRINCESS.

NO. WELL, I'M STILL PISS-POOR.

NO. WELL, I'M STILL PISS-POOR.

DO YOU WANT ME TO FEEL SORRY FOR YOU?

DO YOU WANT ME TO FEEL SORRY FOR YOU?

OH. I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, YOU CAN FORGET IT.

WELL, YOU CAN FORGET IT.

POLISH MY GOLDEN SLIPPER.

POLISH MY GOLDEN SLIPPER.

[SPITS] YES, MA'AM.

I'LL POLISH IT SO SHINY, I CAN SEE MY FACE IN IT.

YEAH!

YEE-HAW!

YEE-HAW!

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

WHEN I GROW UP?

I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T THINK ABOUT IT.

WELL, THINK ABOUT IT.

UH...

WHEN I GROW UP...

OH, I DON'T KNOW. I JUST WANT TO BE GONE.

YOU KNOW? AWAY FROM HERE.

AND ONE DAY,

I'M GONNA SAVE UP ENOUGH MONEY TO DO THAT, TOO,

AND I'M GONNA PUT ON A CLEAN SHIRT

AND A NEW PAIR OF SOCKS,

AND I'M JUST GONNA WALK OUT OF THIS LIFE.

AND I'M JUST GONNA WALK OUT OF THIS LIFE.

I LIKE HOW IT SOUNDS.

HOW WHAT SOUNDS?

TRENT AND DEVON, DEVON AND TRENT.

TRENT AND DEVON, DEVON AND TRENT.

BULLSHIT.

TRENT AND DEVON, DEVON AND TRENT.

TRENT AND DEVON, DEVON AND TRENT.

TRENT AND DEVON, DEVON AND TRENT.

TRENT AND DEVON, DEVON AND TRENT.

TRENT AND DEVON, DEVON AND TRENT.

WHEN I WAS A KID,

MOM AND MY OLD MAN TOOK ME FISHING HERE.

IN THOSE DAYS, YOU COULD CATCH 5 OR...

6 BIG CATFISH. BIG AS YOUR ARM.

THEN ONE NIGHT,

WELL, I JUST LET THE 2 OF THEM FISH,

AND THEN I WALK A WAYS DOWN THE BANK,

AND I TAKE MY SHORTS OFF,

AND I PLOP MYSELF DOWN ON THE SAND

IN MY BARE ASS,

AND I PISS.

YUCK.

NO! NO!

THERE'S NOTHING LIKE THE DAY

COOLING ALL AROUND YOU,

AND YOU'RE SITTIN' IN WARM PISS

WITH THE RIVER FLOATING BY.

YUCK AGAIN.

YUCK AGAIN?

I WAS A KID.

OK?

WHAT YOU PISS IN

IS YOURS FOR LIFE.

♪♪♪♪ Bruce Springsteen on radio: ♪♪♪♪ I COME HOME IN THE MORNIN'

♪♪♪♪ I GO TO BED FEELIN' THE SAME WAY ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ I AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT TIRED ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ MAN, I'M JUST TIRED AND BORED WITH MYSELF ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ HEY THERE, BABY ♪♪♪♪

COME ON UP HERE.

♪♪♪♪ I COULD USE JUST A LITTLE HELP ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ ♪♪♪♪ YOU CAN'T START A FIRE

♪♪♪♪ YOU CAN'T START A FIRE WITHOUT A SPARK ♪♪♪♪

♪ ♪♪♪♪ THIS GUN'S FOR HIRE ♪♪♪

THIS IS MY RIVER! YOU HEAR ME?!

THIS IS MY RIVER! YOU HEAR ME?!

DAMN KIDS.

RIVER RATS.

♪♪♪♪ MESSAGES KEEP GETTIN' CLEARER ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ RADIO'S ON, AND I'M MOVIN' ROUND THE PLACE ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ I CHECK MY LOOK IN THE MIRROR ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ I WANNA CHANGE MY CLOTH ES, MY HAIR, MY FACE ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ MAN, I AIN'T GETTIN' NOWHERE ♪♪♪♪

AH-AH-AH-AH...

OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH...

♪♪♪♪ I JUST LIVE IN A DUMP LIKE THIS ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ THERE'S SOMETHIN' HAPPENIN' SOMEWHERE ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ THERE'S SOMETHIN' HAPPENIN' SOMEWHERE ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ BABY, I JUST KNOW THAT THERE IS ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ ♪♪♪♪ YOU CAN'T START A FIRE

SONS OF BITCHES.

♪♪♪♪ YOU CAN'T START A FIRE WITHOUT A SPARK ♪♪♪♪

♪ ♪♪♪♪ THIS GUN'S FOR HIRE ♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ EVEN IF WE'RE JUST DANCIN' IN THE DARK ♪♪♪♪

WHOO HOO HOO!

WHOO HOO HOO!

WELL, THAT'LL GET THE FISH BITING FOR SURE, NASH.

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. COME ON.

NO, WAIT A MINUTE.

WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?

COME HERE.

YOU KNOW, I RECOGNIZE THAT TRUCK.

IT'S THAT LAWNMOWER KID.

WITH ONE OF HIS LITTLE TRAMPS.

♪♪♪♪ I'LL SHAKE THIS WORLD OFF MY SHOULDERS ♪♪♪♪

WAIT. WHAT ARE THEY DOING NOW?

WAIT. WHAT ARE THEY DOING NOW?

I'LL BE DAMNED. THEY'RE MOONING US.

♪ ♪♪♪♪ AND THEY'LL BE CARVIN' YOU UP ALL RIGHT ♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ THEY SAY YOU GOTTA STAY HUNGRY ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ HEY, BABY, I'M JUST ABOUT STARVIN' TONIGHT ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ I'M DYIN' FOR SOME ACTION ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ I'M SICK OF SITTIN' ROUND H TRYIN' TO WRITE THIS BOOK ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ ♪♪♪♪ I NEED A LOVE REACTION

♪♪♪♪ ♪♪♪♪ I NEED A LOVE REACTION

YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU GOT MUCH SLEEP AT TRACY'S.

DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME, HONEY?

DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME, HONEY?

BRETT PUT HIS HAND UP MY SHIRT YESTERDAY.

AT THE BARBECUE?

WHAT?

YOU LET HIM PUT HIS HAND UP YOUR SHIRT?

NO. HE JUST DID IT.

YOU MEAN HE FORCED HIS HAND UP YOUR SHIRT?

YOU MEAN HE FORCED HIS HAND UP YOUR SHIRT?

HMM. IS THAT ALL?

NOTHING ELSE?

I RAN AWAY.

GOOD FOR YOU.

THAT'S MY GIRL.

THAT'S MY GIRL.

I HAD A GOOD CHAT WITH BRETT'S DAD AT THE BARBECUE.

HE'S VICE PRESIDENT OF MAXITEL KENTUCKY.

HE TOLD ME HE HAD A WILD ONE ON HIS HANDS WITH THAT BOY.

HE WAS JUST TICKLING ME.

OH, HONEY, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO IN THE FIRST PLACE?

HE WAS JUST PLAYING.

WELL, THEN HE DIDN'T MEAN ANY HARM, DEV.

YOU GAVE US A SCARE.

YOU GAVE US A SCARE.

CAN I BE EXCUSED?

I DON'T FEEL WELL.

I DON'T FEEL WELL.

DO YOU THINK BRETT REALLY UPSET HER?

SHE'S JUST GROWING UP.

WELL, SHE HAS HER LAST DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT

ON FRIDAY.

I STILL THINK

WE SHOULD LOOK INTO SOME PLASTIC SURGERY OPTIONS.

SHE DOESN'T WANT IT, AT LEAST, NOT FOR NOW.

SHE'LL WANT IT WHEN SHE STARTS DATING.

IN A FEW YEARS,

IF A BOY LIKE BRETT FEELS THAT IN THE DARK,

THEY WON'T BE BACK FOR MORE.

MORTON.

MORTON.

Alannah Myles: ♪♪♪♪ BLACK VELVET ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ AND THAT LITTLE BOY'S SMILE ♪♪♪♪

WHAT A WASTE.

THE GUY JUST KEEPS ON MOWING.

JUST MOWS AND MOWS LIKE...

LIKE IT'LL MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD.

THAT MAN THERE ISN'T JUST MOWING LAWNS.

HE'S GOT A PLAN.

FIRST OUR LAWNS, THEN OUR WOMEN.

HE'S JUST WAITING TO MAKE HIS MOVE.

JESUS, BRETT. THAT GUY REALLY GETS UNDER YOUR SKIN,

DOESN'T HE?

HOW ABOUT WE GO TO THE MALL

AND PICK UP SOME FRESH SOUND?

THIS STUFF IS STALE.

THIS STUFF IS STALE.

[STARTS ENGINE]

[STARTS ENGINE]

OH, LOOKS LIKE WE'RE RUNNING OVER MEXICO THERE.

EL SALVADOR,iESTPIDO!

iVIVA M￩XICO!

iARRIBA! iARRIBA! iAY! iEPA! iEPA!

CORT￩S LIVES, BURRITO BREATH!

WHOO! WHOO!

HOO HOO HOO HOO!

AY YI YI YI YI YI YI YA!

AY YI YI YI YI YI YI YA!

[SQUEAK]

[SQUEAK]

THAT WAS A SMART MOVE, KID.

THAT WAS A SMART MOVE, KID.

YOUR GO.

YOUR GO.

THAT MOVE, MY FRIEND,

JUST COST YOU ANOTHER ARM AND A LEG.

JUST COST YOU ANOTHER ARM AND A LEG.

ALL RIGHT, ONE MORE.

BUT DON'T GET TOO SMART, DOLL FACE.

BUT DON'T GET TOO SMART, DOLL FACE.

IF YOU LOSE THIS TIME,

IT WILL COST YOU YOUR HEAD.

IT WILL COST YOU YOUR HEAD.

[LAWNMOWER WHIRRING]

[LAWNMOWER WHIRRING]

Radio: ♪♪♪♪ OLDIES 103 ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ WRKA ♪♪♪♪

OLDIES 103...

CAN I BRING HIM A GLASS OF WATER?

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

BECAUSE IT'S HOT.

WELL, THAT WOULD BE CONSIDERATE.

OH, NOT ONE OF THE NICE GLASSES, HONEY.

THERE'S A GLASS UNDER THE SINK.

Radio: ...WILL TAKE A 435 BILLION-MILE,

10-MONTH JOURNEY TO EXPLORE MARS. WOW.

IT'S PERFECTLY CLEAN.

Radio: HA HA HA.

RIGHT NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE REAL NEWS.

HERE'S THERESA HALL.

Woman on radio: THANKS, JOHN. IT'S 92 DEGREES.

I'M THERESA HALL WITH TODAY'S TOP LOCAL NEWS

ON OLDIES 103 WRKA.

6 KENTUCKY BUSINESSES ARE PREPARING

FOR AN OVERSEAS TRADE MISSION.

OFFICIALS WITH THE KENTUCKY WORLD TRADE CENTER...

HEY, WHAT'S THIS? YOU GOT SOMETHING ON YOUR DRESS.

[LAUGHING] HEY, HEY.

WHOA.

HEY. TRENT, TRENT.

HEY, STOP IT.

HEY. HEY, STOP IT.

HEY, TRENT. TRENT, COME ON.

COME ON.

COME ON, STOP IT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

COME HERE. I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

COME HERE. I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

UHH.

UHH.

WOW.

MMM.

MMM.

WHERE'D YOU GET IT?

ALMOST RAN OVER IT WITH THE MOWER.

TURTLE SPAGHETTI.

EW.

EW.

HE'LL EAT LETTUCE.

HE'LL EAT LETTUCE.

DEVON.

DEVON.

OH. I GOT TO GO.

OK.

BYE.

THANKS.

THANKS.

[GROWLING]

UHH! OH!

UHH! OH!

DON'T BITE ME.

DON'T BITE ME.

[CD DROPS]

[CD DROPS]

HEY, BOY.

HEY, BOY.

[STARTS ENGINE]

[STARTS ENGINE]

WHAT THE HELL?

WHAT THE HELL?

[WHIRRING]

[WHIRRING]

THAT SON OF A BITCH.

THAT SON OF A BITCH.

WHAT IF HE DIDN'T TAKE THE CDs?

HE TOOK 'EM.

WHO DO YOU THINK'S BEEN TAKING THE STREET LAMPS?

WHAT IF IT'S HIS ONLY MOWER?

THEY ALWAYS GOT A SPARE.

THEY ALWAYS GOT A SPARE.

COME ON, LET'S GO.

COME ON, LET'S GO.

Devon: HE JUST GAVE ME A TURTLE, MOM.

OH, PEOPLE DON'T JUST GIVE AWAY TURTLES.

HAS HE SPOKEN TO YOU BEFORE?

HAS HE SPOKEN TO YOU BEFORE?

YES.

WHEN?

WHEN?

LISTEN TO ME, SWEETHEART.

I'D RATHER YOU DIDN'T TALK TO HIM ANYMORE.

PEOPLE DON'T JUST GIVE YOU THINGS

WITHOUT WANTING SOMETHING IN RETURN.

THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW,

HE'LL BE ASKING YOUR FATHER FOR A JOB.

HE'S GOT A JOB.

HE'S GOT A JOB.

THERE'S PROBABLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT.

THERE'S PROBABLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT.

[GASPS]

[GASPS]

[MOTOR SPUTTERING]

[MOTOR SPUTTERING]

[MOTOR DIES]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT SOME SUGAR IN YOUR GAS TANK.

NOW, HOW DID YOU MANAGE THAT?

NOW, HOW DID YOU MANAGE THAT?

SUGAR WILL RUIN A MOTOR FOR SURE.

SUGAR WILL RUIN A MOTOR FOR SURE.

JUST A MINUTE THERE, SON.

I GOT A CALL FROM A WOMAN THAT LIVES AROUND HERE.

SHE SAID YOU GAVE HER DAUGHTER A TURTLE.

IS THAT RIGHT?

IS THAT RIGHT?

YEAH. I GAVE A KID A TURTLE.

NOW, WHY'D YOU GO AND DO A THING LIKE THAT?

NOW, WHY'D YOU GO AND DO A THING LIKE THAT?

LOOK, I LIKE TURTLES.

I USED TO GO A-HUNTIN' 'EM BACK UP HAROLD'S CREEK

WHEN I WAS A KID, BUT...

FOLKS ARE NERVOUS THESE DAYS.

IT'D BE BEST IF YOU KEPT TO YOURSELF

WHEN YOU'RE WORKING AROUND HERE.

WHEN YOU'RE WORKING AROUND HERE.

[BRAKES SQUEAK]

[BRAKES SQUEAK]

[ENGINE STOPS RUNNING]

[ENGINE STOPS RUNNING]

HOW'S IT GOING?

MIND IF I GET BY HERE?

HEY. I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TALK TO YOU.

IT'S ABOUT THIS LAWN MY GRANDMOTHER HAS.

ONLY PROBLEM IS IT'S ON HER FACE.

ONLY PROBLEM IS IT'S ON HER FACE.

THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT?

THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT?

THAT'S A NICE MOWER.

HOW'S THAT RUNNING FOR YOU?

OK, NOW, UH...

GET THAT CAR OUT OF MY WAY.

WHAT'S THE RUSH?

WE JUST GOT SOMETHING WE NEED TO WORK OUT IS ALL.

WE JUST GOT SOMETHING WE NEED TO WORK OUT IS ALL.

BOY, LOOK AT THIS.

BOY, LOOK AT THIS.

THIS IS ANCIENT.

I'LL BET YOU COULD SELL THIS FOR AN ANTIQUE, HUH?

DON'T TOUCH IT.

BRETT.

PUT IT BACK.

WHAT'S IT FEEL LIKE TO PLAY WITH A 4-FOOT-LONG VIBRATOR

ALL DAY, HUH?

[WHIRRING]

[WHIRRING]

HEY, SEAN,

LET'S TRIM SOME WEEDS.

LET'S TRIM SOME WEEDS.

IF YOU TOOK THE MUSIC, JUST GIVE IT BACK.

THERE'LL BE NO TROUBLE.

YOU OWE US 4 CDs, RIVER RAT.

WHAT'D YOU DO, YOU SELL THEM ALREADY?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THIS IS BULLSHIT! YOU WANT SOME OF THIS?

BRETT!

I'LL CUT YOU UP, BITCH!

I'LL CUT YOU UP, BITCH!

GODDAMN IT, BRETT!

GODDAMN IT, BRETT!

WHAT ARE YOU, CRAZY?

[BARKING STOPS]

[WHIRRING STOPS]

[WHIRRING STOPS]

YOU'RE BLEEDIN'.

YOU'RE BLEEDIN'.

WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME?

HMM?

WELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO OFFER?

WELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO OFFER?

GET THIS FUCKIN' DOG OFF OF ME!

GET THIS FUCKIN' DOG OFF OF ME!

GET THIS FUCKIN' DOG OFF OF ME!

GET THIS FUCKIN' DOG OFF OF ME!

[WHINES]

[STARTS ENGINE]

[REVVING ENGINE]

THE PUNK BIT ME.

THE PUNK BIT ME.

MOVE MY CAR.

HUH?

MOVE IT, DAMN IT!

MOVE IT, DAMN IT!

[STARTS ENGINE]

[TIRES SQUEAL]

[CRASH]

[CRASH]

WELL...

WELL...

I COULD SELL THE TRUCK...

I COULD SELL THE TRUCK...

TO GET A NEW MOWER,

BUT THEN HOW AM I GOING TO GET THE MOWER AROUND?

I COULD SELL THE CHAIN SAW,

AND THAT MIGHT BRING ME ENOUGH

TO BUY A HALF-ASSED MOWER,

BUT THEN I'M GOING TO BE MOWING WITH A PIECE OF SHIT,

AND I'M GOING TO BE OUT OF A CHAIN SAW...

AND I'M GOING TO BE OUT OF A CHAIN SAW...

TO DO TREE WORK.

SO...

SO...

YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

JUST FUCK THE WHOLE THING.

JUST FUCK THE WHOLE THING.

FUCK IT.

FUCK IT.

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

WHERE ARE WE GOING?

WHERE ARE WE GOING?

TRENT?

TRENT?

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

OHH.

OHH.

WANT TO COME IN?

WANT TO COME IN?

HEY, MAMA.

HEY.

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

HEY, GIVE ME SOME SUGAR.

HEY, GIVE ME SOME SUGAR.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?

OH, IT'S NOTHING. I JUST SCRAPED IT.

WHAT'S THIS?

OH, I CUT MYSELF WITH THE WEED EATER.

YOU WANT ME TO GET YOU A NEW BANDAGE?

NO, IT'S--DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

THIS IS DEVON, MAMA.

OH.

WELL, NICE TO MEET YOU, DEVON.

YOU LOOK TIRED.

WELL...

YOUR DADDY COULD KEEP THE WHOLE COUNTY AWAKE

WITH HIS WHEEZING AND KICKING.

WITH HIS WHEEZING AND KICKING.

HE'S OUT BACK.

YEAH?

YEAH?

YOU TWO LOOK HOT.

YOU WANT SOME ICED TEA?

YOU WANT SOME ICED TEA?

WELL, I DO.

GET US A COUPLE OF GLASSES OUT OF THE CUPBOARD, HONEY.

GET US A COUPLE OF GLASSES OUT OF THE CUPBOARD, HONEY.

GET THE NICE ONES--

THE HORSE ONES

FOR A CHANGE.

FOR A CHANGE.

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT SWEET.

TRENT'S DADDY LIKES IT REAL SWEET.

[LAUGHS]

[POURS LIQUID]

[POURS LIQUID]

THERE YOU GO.

THERE YOU GO.

WELL, NOW.

WELL, NOW.

HOW ARE YOU, DAD?

WELL...

I'M STILL HERE.

I'M STILL HERE.

I LOST A MOWER TODAY.

I LOST A MOWER TODAY.

WHAT, STOLEN?

NO. SOME KIDS PUT SUGAR IN THE MOTOR.

WELL, WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?

WELL, WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?

BECAUSE THEY LIKE ME.

BECAUSE THEY LIKE ME.

WELL, IF YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT US...

IS THAT WHY YOU COME HERE?

IS THAT WHY YOU COME HERE?

HEY, YOU KNOW WE DO JUST FINE ON THE PENSION.

WHAT YOU SEND US IS A TREAT--

SOMETHING EXTRA.

SOMETHING EXTRA.

SO WE'LL DO WITHOUT THE EXTRAS.

HELL, I CAN'T BOWL NO MORE ANYWAYS.

[LAUGHS] SURE, YOU CAN.

NOW, LISTEN...

NO. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

NO. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

HEY, IT'S NOT SO BAD.

NO. NO.

NO. NO.

[TAP TAP]

NOT EXACTLY.

IT'S MORE LIKE YOURS GOES...

DEE-DUM, DEE-DUM, DEE-DUM,

AND MINE GOES...

DIDDY-DUM, DIDDY-DUM, DIDDY-DUM.

[BOTH TAP TABLE]

[BOTH LAUGH]

[BOTH LAUGH]

I PICKED THESE UP DURING MY YEARS IN KOREA.

I PICKED THESE UP DURING MY YEARS IN KOREA.

LOTS OF GUYS WOULD SLEEP WITH THEM

UNDER THEIR PILLOWS AT NIGHT.

UNDER THEIR PILLOWS AT NIGHT.

AND WHEN A GUY DIDN'T COME BACK,

WELL, I GOT HIS FLAG.

WELL, I GOT HIS FLAG.

TAKE THEM.

NO. I DON'T WANT THEM.

NO. I WANT YOU TO HAVE THEM.

NO. I WANT YOU TO HAVE THEM.

I DON'T WANT THEM.

I DON'T WANT THEM, DAD.

GOD DAMN IT, ACCEPT A GIFT!

GOD DAMN IT, ACCEPT A GIFT!

I DON'T WANT THEM AROUND THE HOUSE NO MORE.

I DON'T WANT THEM AROUND THE HOUSE NO MORE.

I CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO THROW THEM AWAY.

[WHEEZES]

JUST WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO DIE

AND GET IT OVER WITH, DAD?

YOU'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR YEARS NOW.

YOU'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR YEARS NOW.

IT TAKES A WHILE TO DIE.

YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?

YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW?

YOU AND YOUR FUCKING FLAGS!

YOU AND YOUR FUCKING FLAGS!

I DON'T WANT THEM.

OK? SEND THEM TO WHATEVER BASTARDS

SEND YOU YOUR PENSION!

SEND YOU YOUR PENSION!

[DOOR SLAMS]

[DOOR SLAMS]

THIS ONE WAS ALWAYS MY FAVORITE BACK THEN.

THIS ONE WAS ALWAYS MY FAVORITE BACK THEN.

HERE.

FEEL HOW SOFT IT IS.

FEEL HOW SOFT IT IS.

WHOSE WAS THIS ONE?

WHOSE WAS THIS ONE?

IT WAS MINE.

IT WAS MINE.

♪♪♪♪ OOH OOH ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ OOH OOH OOH ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ OOH OOH OOH ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ OOH OOH ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ OOH OOH OOH ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ OOH OOH OOH ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ OOH OOH ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ OOH OOH OOH ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ OOH OOH OOH ♪♪♪♪

Bob Dylan: ♪♪♪♪ MAMA TAKE THIS BADGE OFF OF ME ♪♪♪♪

Bob Dylan: ♪♪♪♪ MAMA TAKE THIS BADGE OFF OF ME ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ I CAN'T USE IT ANYMORE ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ I CAN'T USE IT ANYMORE ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ IT'S GETTIN' DARK ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ TOO DARK TO SEE ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ TOO DARK TO SEE ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ I FEEL I'M KNOCKIN' ON HEAVEN'S DOOR ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ I FEEL I'M KNOCKIN' ON HEAVEN'S DOOR ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCKIN' ON HEAVEN'S DOOR ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCKIN' ON HEAVEN'S DOOR ♪♪♪♪

WHY IS YOUR FATHER DYING?

IS IT BECAUSE OF THE KOREANS?

DID THEY TORTURE HIM?

THE KOREANS DIDN'T FUCK UP MY OLD MAN.

IT WAS THE CANNED CHEESE--

THE GOVERNMENT RATIONS THE SOLDIERS GOT.

THE CANS HAD SOME SORT OF BACTERIA IN THEM, SEE?

OF COURSE, THE GOVERNMENT STILL DENIES IT.

IT GETS INSIDE YOU.

IT LIVES IN YOUR LUNGS. IT EATS THEM UP

BIT BY BIT.

HE HAD ONE LUNG CUT OUT...

[SMACKS LIPS] SOME YEARS BACK.

[SMACKS LIPS] SOME YEARS BACK.

HE'S GOT HALF OF ONE LEFT.

YOU EVER WONDER HOW IT'D BE TO LIVE ON HALF A LUNG?

[WHEEZES]

[WHEEZES]

GROSS.

[GAGS] DO YOU WANT A CIGARETTE?

[WHEEZES]

DO YOU WANT SOME COLA?

DO YOU WANT SOME COLA?

♪♪♪♪ KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCKIN' ON HEAVEN'S DOOR ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCKIN' ON HEAVEN'S DOOR ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCKIN' ON HEAVEN'S DOOR ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCKIN' ON HEAVEN'S DOOR ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCKIN' ON HEAVEN'S DOOR ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCKIN' ON HEAVEN'S DOOR ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCKIN' ON HEAVEN'S DOOR ♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCKIN' ON HEAVEN'S DOOR ♪♪♪♪

SO, WHAT YOU WANT TO SHOW ME?

WE'RE BEST FRIENDS, RIGHT?

[LAUGHS] I DON'T KNOW.

YES, WE ARE.

I DON'T KNOW AS I EVER HAD A BEST FRIEND. I HAD--

YOU GAVE ME A TURTLE.

YEAH, I DID.

YEAH, I DID.

THEN I'LL SHOW YOU.

WHOA. NO, NO, STOP THAT.

AW, JESUS.

I WANT TO.

WELL, I DON'T WANT YOU TO.

YOU'RE NOT OLD ENOUGH.

[LAUGHS]

IT'S NOT MY TITS I WANT TO SHOW YOU, STUPID.

IT'S NOT MY TITS I WANT TO SHOW YOU, STUPID.

OK, I'M READY.

OK, I'M READY.

COME ON, LOOK.

COME ON, LOOK.

GODDAMN.

GODDAMN.

MY DAD CAN HARDLY LOOK AT IT.

HE SAYS IT GIVES HIM THE COLD SHIVERS.

HE SAYS IT GIVES HIM THE COLD SHIVERS.

TOUCH IT.

NO. NO, THANKS.

GO ON.

GO ON.

SEE?

SEE?

HUH.

THAT'S COOL.

THAT'S COOL.

NOW I GET TO SEE YOURS.

FAIR IS FAIR.

FAIR IS FAIR.

MINE'S BIGGER.

YEAH.

YEAH.

CAN I TOUCH IT?

CAN I TOUCH IT?

[TRACKER BARKING]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

IT'S TRACKER.

HE'S LOOSE.

HE'S LOOSE.

LET'S CATCH HIM.

LET'S CATCH HIM.

TRACKER!

TRACKER!

COME HERE, BOY!

COME HERE, BOY!

Devon: TRACKER!

Devon: TRACKER!

[TRUCK HITS TRACKER]

[TRUCK HITS TRACKER]

STAY IN THE CAR.

BUT HE'S HURT.

BUT HE'S HURT.

I SAID STAY IN THE CAR.

I SAID STAY IN THE CAR.

IF HE'S HURT, WE'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM.

IF HE'S HURT, WE'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM.

IS HE ALL RIGHT?

NO...

HE'S NOT. HE'S HURT BAD.

HE'S NOT. HE'S HURT BAD.

WE'LL TAKE HIM TO THE VET.

I WANT YOU TO COVER YOUR EYES, OK, BUDDY?

I WANT YOU TO COVER YOUR EYES, OK, BUDDY?

WHY?

GOD DAMN IT, I SAID COVER YOUR EYES.

GOD DAMN IT, I SAID COVER YOUR EYES.

[PANTING]

[PANTING]

DEVON?

DEVON, WHAT HAPPENED?

DEVON, WHAT IS IT?

DEVON?

OH, MY GOD.

OH, MY GOD.

I SAID I DON'T KNOW!

I SAID I DON'T KNOW!

JUST COME HOME.

JUST COME HOME.

DID SOMEBODY HURT YOU, HONEY?

HE DIDN'T HURT ME.

HE DIDN'T HURT ME.

WHO DIDN'T?

TRENT.

OH, MY GOD.

TRENT?

THE MAN WHO MOWS OUR LAWNS--

THE ONE WHO GAVE HER THE TURTLE.

THE ONE WHO GAVE HER THE TURTLE.

TELL ME ABOUT TRENT, HONEY.

TELL ME ABOUT TRENT, HONEY.

DID HE TOUCH YOU?

DID HE TOUCH YOU?

NO ONE'S GOING TO BLAME YOU, SWEETHEART.

NO ONE'S GOING TO BLAME YOU, SWEETHEART.

I'LL CALL NASH.

I'LL CALL NASH.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

CHRIST.

[RING]

[RING]

DEVON,

THIS IS IMPORTANT.

DID TRENT TOUCH YOU IN ANY WAY?

DID TRENT TOUCH YOU IN ANY WAY?

YES...

BUT IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE--

I'LL KILL THE PUNK.

I'LL KILL THE PUNK.

WHERE DID HE TOUCH YOU, HONEY?

SHOW ME WHERE.

SHOW ME WHERE.

I LET HIM SEE...

MY...

MY...

HE TOUCHED MY...

HE TOUCHED MY...

TAKE YOUR TIME, SWEETHEART.

WE'RE LISTENING.

WE'RE LISTENING.

HE TOUCHED MY SCAR.

OH, CHRIST.

HE THOUGHT IT WAS COOL.

HE THOUGHT IT WAS COOL.

AND I TOUCHED HIM, TOO,

WHERE HE WAS SHOT.

WHERE HE WAS SHOT.

WE WERE FRIENDS.

WE WERE FRIENDS.

SECRET FRIENDS.

OH, GOD.

OH, GOD.

BUT THEN HE KILLED THE DOG.

I HATE HIM.

I HATE HIM.

WAS IT YOURS?

YEAH.

YOU KNOW WHERE HE LIVES?

I'LL, BY GOD, FIND OUT.

HE'S GOT TO BE JUST UP THE ROAD.

ALL RIGHT, YOU BETTER STAY HERE WITH MRS. STOCKARD.

YOU STAY WITH ME, SWEETHEART.

DAD...

DAD...

I KNOW WHERE HE LIVES.

I KNOW WHERE HE LIVES.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

[TIRES SQUEAL]

WE'LL TRY FURTHER UP.

RIGHT.

Morton: THAT WAS A BIG HELP.

Morton: THAT WAS A BIG HELP.

IS THIS THE ROAD?

IS THIS THE ROAD?

BINGO.

BINGO.

STAY IN THE CAR, DEV!

STAY IN THE CAR, DEV!

I WARNED YOU, MR. BURNS.

THIS HERE'S PRIVATE PROPERTY.

NO. THIS IS STATE PROPERTY,

AND YOU AND THAT TIN CAN ARE TRESPASSING.

WHAT YOU WANT?

WE'RE LOOKING FOR A DOG.

YOU SEEN ONE?

YOU SEEN ONE?

YOU AIN'T NO REAL COP. I DON'T HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.

YOU AIN'T NO REAL COP. I DON'T HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.

A BIG DOG.

DOBERMAN.

WORE A CHAIN-LINK COLLAR.

THIS HERE IS HIS OWNER.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT--

WHY DON'T YOU ALL GO TO HELL?

[LAUGHS]

HE'S GOT A SENSE OF RESPECT, DOESN'T HE?

UHH!

UHH!

I MAY NOT BE A REAL COP ANYMORE,

BUT I CAN STILL ACT LIKE ONE.

BUT I CAN STILL ACT LIKE ONE.

I LOVED THAT DOG.

YOU TOUCH MY DAUGHTER?

WHAT? HUH?

IS THAT THE HAND YOU USED TO TOUCH HER?

SHE'S 10 YEARS OLD,

YOU PIECE OF SHIT.

YOU PIECE OF SHIT.

A GIRL LIKE DEVON WILL NEVER BELONG TO YOU.

A GIRL LIKE DEVON WILL NEVER BELONG TO YOU.

UHH!

Nash: I THINK THAT'S ENOUGH.

YEAH?

JUST ABOUT.

HERE.

TAKE A CRACK AT HIM.

MORTON.

STAY OUT OF THIS, NASH.

THIS IS A PERSONAL SITUATION.

I SAID THAT'S ENOUGH!

I SAID THAT'S ENOUGH!

Morton: DO IT.

Morton: DO IT.

HIT HIM!

HIT HIM!

[GUNSHOT]

[GUNSHOT]

OH, JESUS.

OH, JESUS.

TRENT.

TRENT.

TRENT.

TRENT. SHIT.

GET UP. YOU HAVE TO GET UP.

SHIT, DEVON.

JESUS CHRIST, YOU SHOT HIM.

HONEY, GIVE ME THE GUN.

HONEY, GIVE ME THE GUN.

STOP.

Trent: HE'S BLEEDING, DEVON. HE'S BLEEDING BAD.

Nash: WE GOT TO GET HIM TO A HOSPITAL,

OR HE'LL BLEED TO DEATH.

HE WON'T DIE. I LOST BUCKETSFUL,

AND I DIDN'T DIE.

THEY'RE GOING TO PIN THIS ON ME, DEVON.

THEY'RE GOING--

THEY'RE GOING TO PIN THIS ON ME, YOU HEAR ME?

THEY WON'T.

THEY'RE GOING TO KILL ME, DEVON.

YOU UNDERSTAND?

NOT IF YOU GO, TRENT.

YOU HAVE TO GET OUT FROM HERE NOW.

[SEAN GASPS]

[SEAN GASPS]

GO.

GO.

GO.

GO.

OK.

OK.

DEV.

AW, DEV.

AW, DEV.

GIVE ME YOUR WALLET.

GIVE ME YOUR WALLET, DAD, OR I'LL SHOOT YOU.

GIVE ME YOUR WALLET, DAD, OR I'LL SHOOT YOU.

BETTER DO WHAT SHE SAYS, MR. STOCKARD,

OR I BELIEVE SHEWILL SHOOT YOU.

OR I BELIEVE SHEWILL SHOOT YOU.

HERE. NO.

BUY A NEW SHIRT. THERE'S BLOOD ON YOURS.

HERE. HOLD THE GUN.

HERE. HOLD THE GUN.

WE'VE SLOWED THE BLEEDING,

BUT WE HAVE TO GET HIM TO A HOSPITAL.

MORTON?

MORTON.

MORTON.

[PULLS OUT CLIP]

[PULLS OUT CLIP]

THEY'RE GOING TO COME AFTER YOU.

WHEN THEY GET CLOSE,

THROW DOWN THIS TOWEL.

THROW DOWN THIS TOWEL.

IF THEY'RE STILL GAINING ON YOU,

THROW DOWN THIS COMB.

[CHUCKLES]

WHATEVER HAPPENED AT THE END OF THAT STORY?

WHATEVER HAPPENED AT THE END OF THAT STORY?

THE GIRL GOT AWAY.

THE GIRL GOT AWAY.

SHE RAN AND SHE RAN UNTIL SHE WAS HOME.

HOME.

HOME.

YEAH. TELL ME WHERE THAT IS, DEVON.

YEAH. TELL ME WHERE THAT IS, DEVON.

HOME IS IN MY HANDS.

HOME IS IN MY HANDS.

NOW DRIVE FAST.

FAST.

FAST.

[STARTS ENGINE]

[STARTS ENGINE]

DEV...

HONEY...

GET ON YOUR KNEES, DAD.

YOU'RE JUST SCARED, HONEY.

I'LL TELL THEM IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

KNEEL DOWN.

KNEEL DOWN.

STAND UP SLOWLY.

STAND UP SLOWLY.

WALK STRAIGHT.

WALK STRAIGHT.

STOP.

STOP.

YES, I NEED EMS FOR A GUNSHOT VICTIM.

THE WOUND IS IN THE LOWER RIGHT ABDOMEN.

THE WOUND IS IN THE LOWER RIGHT ABDOMEN.

Devon: ONCE UPON A TIME,

IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIG, DARK FOREST,

THERE LIVED A BOY

IN A HOUSE

ALL ALONE.

ALL ALONE.

AND HE TOOK CARE OF THE TREES

AND FED A STRAY GIRL AND WAS KIND TO HER,

AND SHE LOVED HIM FOR IT.

BUT ONE DAY,

BABIAGA ENTERED THE FOREST TO EAT THE BOY.

BABIAGA ENTERED THE FOREST TO EAT THE BOY.

THE BOY WANTED TO RUN,

BUT HE KNEW HE COULD NEVER OUTRUN BABIAGA BONY LEGS.

BUT HE KNEW HE COULD NEVER OUTRUN BABIAGA BONY LEGS.

THE GIRL SAID TO THE BOY,

"TAKE THIS MAGIC COMB AND EMBROIDERED TOWEL

AND RUN."

AND RUN."

"WHEN BABIAGA CHASES YOU,

"THROW DOWN THE TOWEL,

"AND A GREAT RIVER WILL RISE UP BEHIND YOU

AND COVER YOUR TRACKS."

AND COVER YOUR TRACKS."

"IF BABIAGA IS STILL CHASING YOU..."

"IF BABIAGA IS STILL CHASING YOU..."

"THROW DOWN THE MAGIC COMB,

AND A FOREST WILL SPRING UP BEHIND YOU."

AND A FOREST WILL SPRING UP BEHIND YOU."

AND THE BOY DROVE ON AND ON,

NEVER COMING BACK--

NEVER COMING BACK--

SAFE AT LAST.

SAFE AT LAST.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TRIMARK HOME VIDEO

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.