All language subtitles for CHiPs.S05E23.WEBRip.x264-ION10

You mean there aren't gonna be

any men at the party?

What are you gonna do
for laughs?

It's my girlfriend's
engagement party.

Ah, besides, I don't think
men would enjoy it.

We're meeting at a club
for ladies only.

'Oh, you mean thatclub.'

Bonnie, do you know
what they do there?

'Give me that bag!'

Do you see what I see?

I'm afraid I do.

- Whatever they say, uh, want.

Stop! Get off there!

Okay! Go on!

Have your party
at Chippendales.

And if you don't know
why they call

that club "For ladies only"

Ask Jon and Ponch,
they'll tell ya.

Why? Because its striptease
dancers are men?

Big deal, Grossie.

Welcome to the 1980s.

Anything else on your mind?

No, that's all I had. Uh, you?

Oh, I'm finished.

You can go.

Stop! Stop! Stop!

Jon! Ponch!

Robbers! Robbers!

Catch 'em,
they robbed the bank!

- Bonnie, take my helmet.
- Okay.

Take mine.
Call animal regulations.

And, uh, be firm.

Stop! Stop!

Stop! Stop!

Catch 'em,
they robbed the bank.

Come on, boys!

'Come on!'

You, uh, gonna jump?

No.

Those monkeys knew it.

Keep an eye on him
for me, will ya?

You didn't get the license
to the pickup truck?

Too far away.

So all you've really got
is a barrel of monkeys.

The Bonzo Gang.
Masters of disguise.

Look, if you two have
nothing to contribute..

I have.

Case closed.

I have the bank robber,
self-confessed.

'Manny Herzog.'

Wants to see the sergeant.

Oh-h.

Not again.

Thank you.

Mr. Herzog.

I trust the bank job
went easier

than the payroll heist
you confessed to last week.

Ah, I'm a dual
personality, sergeant.

Half of me is a real disgrace.

Uh, where'd you put
the money this time?

I-I paid some bills.

Show me the receipts.

I paid by mail.

You heard about the caper
on the radio, Manny.

It's on the radio already?

Did you use a weapon?

Yeah. A-a gun.

I threw it down the sewer.

- 'I hate guns.'
- No guns were used, Manny.

I-I meant the knife.

No knife, either. No persons.

I was hiding.

What about the animals?

A

Three dogs.

Two dogs

three monkeys.

I got mixed up.

Um, I don't have time for this.

- I-I did it.
- Let's go, Manny.

See you later, Manny.

If you're gonna confess
to every major robbery

in town, at least get
the details straight.

Make it interesting for us.

You shouldn't be
making fun of me.

I'm a dangerous person.

No!

Sweetheart.

Sweetheart,
it's alright.

It's alright. I'm here.

Don't touch me.

You were only dreaming,
sweetheart.

Glad I was here
when you woke up.

Go away.

And leave me alone.

I spoke to Dr. Johnson

and he's really confident.

He says that
your face is finished

and he'll be able
to do your shoulder

in a month or so.

No.

I've had four operations
in one year

and I can't take any more.

Sweetheart..

...he's the best
cosmetic surgeon money can buy.

If he says
the shoulder is simple

you can take
that to the bank.

If I could take
anything to the bank

I wouldn't be letting you
pay for this.

How do you like the room?

I was doing fine
in a four-bed ward.

Well, you deserve the best..

...and you'll get it
as long as I'm around.

I've asked you
not to be around.

But I guess
you've bought the right

to not worry
about what I want.

I don't wanna buy.

I just wanna see
you whole and..

...and happy again.

I know that you don't like it

when I tell you
how much I love you.

Then why did you
let that lion attack me?

What you're saying is that..

...I wanted it to happen

and I let it happen.

If that's what you think..

...there's no way in the world

you'll ever forgive me.

Even if I get down
on my knees.

Don't bother.

My love..

...I'll stand by you.

I'll stand by you

till the end of my days.

Don't bother.
Don't bother.

Bonnie said she'd call
if she could make it.

No, Paige said she called.

She'll be here.

Wait a minute.

What's going on here?

Oh, no! It's a bust!

Ladies, stay calm.
Stay seated, please. Oh!

This is Officer Richard.

Our hot cop, today.

'Well, what do you
want him to do?'

Take it off!

And here he goes!

And here goes the shirt!

Whoop! Whoop!

No, no, no! No coming out
on the dance floor!

Come on, ladies,
please, please!

Oh, Bonnie,
where are you?

This is the part
I didn't want her to miss.

Hi.

Thank you.

What do you want him to do?

Take it off!

And here go the pants!

'Officer Richards--'

- Oh, hi.

Do you know
where the Blake party is?

- Yeah, sure. Just follow me.
- Okay.

'No touching, now.'

'Just five more seconds.'

'Let's hear it
for Officer Richard!'

Our next guy,
this guy is incredible.

You're gonna love him.

Bonnie, you missed him.

He was simply terrific!

Did you get to see him at all?

The guy we met at your

beach party, Bonnie.

Oh, wow.

This guy is really a dream.

'Alright! Terrific!'

'Are you ready
for another dancer?'

Hey, Bon Bon, you wanted
to show me something.

Oh, yeah, the reason
for my ladies

only party last night.

My girlfriends
have been there before.

I picked you up
a couple souvenirs.

'Holy mackerel.'

Who is this guy?

He's the club's
new stripper sensation.

Ponch, I swear
as well as I know you

I had to look twice.

Well, everybody knows
I wouldn't do a thing like this.

Hmm. That's what I said to
Sharon and Cynthia and Claudine.

Do you remember them?
They were at my beach party?

Mm-hmm.

Well, I said, "Oh, Ponch

he'd never do that."

And they said, "Hah."

I just thought
you ought to know.

Well, thanks
for telling me.

Oh, hey, Bon Bon.

Hmm?

Can he really dance?

Well, I didn't
really see the act

but, uh, I hear
he was terrific.

Yeah?

Good.

Yeah, that's beautiful, baby.

You're the greatest.

You just do that tomorrow..

...we'll be home free before
they even know what hit 'em.

I'm sorry, officer.

I guess I was
in too much of a hurry.

You were doing almost 60,
the speed limit is--

Hey!

You're the cop at the club.

Wow.

'You really are a cop.'

Excuse me for a minute, please.

10-4, LA.

Will you handle this for me?

She saw me at the club.

I mean, not me..

...but she just giggles.

You mention that guy to Getraer?

Ten to one somebody has.

Thanks.

'Units in the vicinity'

'of Alvarado and Garcide.'

'A 47 just occurred.'

'Garcide market.'

'Suspect is a large bird.'

'Falcon or a hawk.'

What?

'A large bird.'

'A falcon or a hawk.'

Monkeys, dogs..

A hawk?

There!

LA 15-Mary-3 we have
a visual on a suspicious hawk.

Try to see where it goes.

'10-4, Mary-3.'

There he goes.

Hey, Ponch.

Ponch, you okay?

I tore my shirt.

Come on out.

Swear you won't tell
Getraer about this?

Yeah, I swear.

Okay, animal regulations
can't come up with a trainer.

That covers the zoo

animal parks

'movie business.'

What else is there?

Nightclub act?

Maybe an out of work circus act

or a unregistered amateur.

Alright!

How come Bonnie
isn't in on this little joke?

Oh, come on.
Don't jump on Bonnie's case.

That club had more ladies
only than anybody realized.

Including some of
the wives from around here.

Yeah, and a couple
of the clerks.

Other than that,
your secret's safe.

Well, okay. I'm gonna..

See? They even got me uptight
about taking my own shirt off.

And a one and a two and a..

Remember, I want
to see the sergeant.

Hey, Frank.

I clipped this article

from our neighborhood
paper this morning.

Uh, "Word is that
the well known

"ladies only nightclub

"is grossing
ten grand a night.

Is it because of
the hunky dancer--"

Hunky?

Ooh. Alright.

"Dancer currently appearing?

"Is he a real highway
patrolman moonlighting?

And we do mean moon."

Oh, it's funny.

But it's not that funny.

See what you can do, huh?

Um, look who insists
on seeing you.

How'd you like my Falcon caper?

It wasn't a Falcon, Manny.

- It was a hawk.
- Yeah, right.

I seen all your birds.

- Mm-hmm.
- I trained it.

'The monkeys, too.'

Uh, what do you
feed your hawk?

Hawk food.

Was it a goshawk

or a big merganser?

Merganser.

'Very big.'

Better luck next time, Manny.

A merganser's a duck.

What do you know about turkeys?

Come on, Manny.

Come on.

Wave 'em, ladies, wave 'em.

'Remember the dancer dances'

'where the tips are.'

Shall he take off the camisa?

Yeah!

'There goes the camisa.'

'Get a load of the build
on this here ranchero.'

Whoa. Wave 'em. Wave 'em.

Let him know where they're at.

Tell the boss
Officer Poncherello.

Excuse me.

Wave 'em, ladies,
now what do you want him to do?

Take it off!

You're the manager here?

Yeah, and you're Alan.

Oh, I know you're not him.

What a resemblance.

What a trip.

It's getting
to be embarrassing.

Why? You're gorgeous.

I'm Nita Baldero.

Ponch.

What did I tell you?

I knew Bonnie was covering up.

See what I mean?

Scott.
Ladies, your table's waiting.

Why don't we go
to my office?

I'm so glad we came back.

He's not doing
anything wrong

as long as he confines
it to the stage.

But I would like
to talk to the guy.

Well, I let him off last night
on personal business

and he hasn't shown up tonight.

But I'll give you his name.
Alan Richardson.

And I'll give you his address
and, uh, phone number.

I surely don't want
any trouble for the club.

Or him...or you.

I think it could be worked out.

I appreciate your cooperation.

Oh, by the way

you know
the nightclub business

ever hire any animal acts?

If you mean sub-human, no.

But if you'd care to watch
some of my dancers..

Thank you.

Bye.

Did you tell Nita Baldero

that the address she gave you

turned out to be a vacant lot?

Yeah. She was
really surprised.

The telephone number
is right though

at least for
an answering service.

Well, don't hold your breath
till he calls you.

'Well, thank you very much'

'for your help.'

Okay. I checked all the guilds
about our monkey man.

There's no one
in this area anymore

who works with animals
of those descriptions

but there are three former
circus acts that might fit.

Check the names through DMV.

You got it, sarge.

"The Joe Clair Animal Fair

"Poole's Pets

and the Martin Menagerie."

Anything familiar?

Not to me.

Eileen...I'm gonna have
to send you back

to your room in a wheelchair

but that's only because
of hospital rules

and only after
you look at this.

Eileen.

Hi.

Nurse.

Get off the bike.
Hands on your head.

Hands on the hood.

Alright, turn around.
Take your helmet off.

I'm sorry.

Me and Beau was just having fun.

'I thought I could
outrun you guys.'

I forgot you could
radio each other.

'He has a wire from
a circus troupe offering'

'a job in Denver,
he and the dog do an act.'

A bank book and a withdrawal
slip for 300 bucks.

Has to pay his own
way to Denver..

...and be there by Friday
or else he loses the job.

So, uh, you want
to hit him easy, right?

Well, sarge, we're sure
he's not our man.

Well, cite him for
evading and let him go.

- Yeah.

A, there's a possibility
of false arrest

because B, there was
no robbery committed.

And C, if it doesn't
make the news

Manny Herzog won't be in here
confessing that he did it.

I should have stopped.

I was stupid.

I never did a thing
like that before.

I was so happy
that I got a job

I just felt like
letting it out.

What about
the danger to the dog?

Oh, Beau rides
with me everywhere.

And the audiences love him.

He's a ham.

He's been working
circuses with his dog

for the last
five or six years.

I asked him about the names

'and our list of animal acts.'

Lou Poole. Yeah.

Tell him the story.

Well, I only met the guy once.

He had animals working together

that usually really
hate each other.

Dogs, big cats, monkeys, birds.

The guy was great.

Then it seems like
one of his big cats

a lion, I think..

Oh, they scare
the heck out of me.

Anyway, it went wild

and tore up this girl
he had in the act.

She lived,
but Poole I don't know.

I never heard of him since.

What's her name

Uh, no.

But it was in the papers
about a year ago.

Right here in town.

Oh, what makes you think
Eileen might be involved?

Well, we looked through
the old newspaper files

and found her
through her guild.

We knew she worked
with Lou Poole. So we, uh..

Well, actually
it's him we were trying to find.

Well, her health is fine, I
was gonna release her tomorrow.

Now, of course, it has been
an emotional year for her

and, uh, we never discount
post-operative shock.

I would appreciate it
if only one of you went in.

- Sure.

Uh, no, no, no.
I'm not the one.

I don't have a TV in my room.

Well, it's been
in the newspapers too.

Well, I guess
I just haven't noticed.

Do you have any idea
what happened to Mr. Poole

after your incident
with the lion?

You found me,
can't you find him?

So far we've run
into dead ends.

I was hoping
you could help.

Well, I can't.

He could be anywhere.

Do you remember his animals?

Did he have a hawk
and some baboons?

An eagle and chimps.

Do you know
what happened to them?

Did he sell them?
Give them to trainers?

Or...a name or two
would really help.

Look, I'm sorry.
I don't know.

There's been
a man visiting you

and no one seems
to know his name.

Look, that's
my personal business.

Now, I don't understand
what you're doing.

Are-are you accusing me
of something?

Um...no. Not at all.

I'm just looking
for some answers.

I'm glad your surgery
went so well.

Why don't call me
if you think of anything

'that I might
be interested in, okay?'

Okay.

I think she's covering up

maybe for that guy
who comes here.

Maybe because he
pays for the bills.

Well, we know they're
paid by cashier's check.

We can ask the banks
who drew the checks.

But if it is Poole

he's probably
using another name.

'Yeah, probably.'

Officer, excuse me,
aren't you the..

I think it is.

What do you want him to do?

Take it off!

A regular lover of the future.

And here come the gloves.

He explained the phony address.

He's been studying ballet
since he was five years old

and he doesn't want his family
to know he's doing this.

It nerds
the family, you know?

Hey, a dancer's a dancer.

I won't blow the whistle
on the guy if he'll cooperate.

Look, I'm just sick and tired

of being mistaken for a guy..

Alan, Officer Poncherello.

Alan darling,
all the nice officer wants

is a change of uniform.

You can still be Officer Richard

but not of the highway patrol.

It won't hurt
the act in any way.

'What do you say?'

Can I let him go on tonight?

One more show.

Get your motorcycle, dear.

I'll, uh, phone for
a wardrobe fitting

right now in the morning.

You're welcome to watch

but, uh, it is ladies only, so..

...kind of stay
out of the way.

It couldn't be me.

Hey! What are you doing?

Give me that. Hey, stop.

Hey! Hey, you!

Hey, thief!
Stop that man!

Alan, stop him!
He's a thief.

Stop that man!

Go get the cop inside.
At the bar. Hurry.

I want to see the sergeant.

You just want to tell him

you walked into Chippendale's

and robbed the safe,
is that it?

I-I didn't walk in.

It was ladies only.
I busted in.

I was discovered in
the office by the manager

Nita Baldero.

How'd you know her name?

You said before,
"Get the details right."

This time I got 'em.

I did it.

Ask her. She'll tell you
it was me.

I thought you wore a ski mask.

Could she identify the mask?

What was the name of the dancer

you hit with your car?

How

It's here in the paper
along with everything else.

Alright, so I'm wanted
for hit and run, too.

I want to see the sergeant.

The sergeant doesn't
want to see you.

Now or ever.

- One more phony confess--
- It's not phony.

And you're not gonna
see any sergeant.

You're gonna see
big men in white coats.

It's you.

You're okay.

I-I thought, I..

That part's not in the paper.

- Let's go see the sergeant.
- Hey, wait, wait!

Sure, if you don't
mind coming in.

Well, we'll be here.

Anytime.

Thanks a lot.

Nita Baldero can positively
identify the car.

- Your car.

- I don't own a car.
- Got him for auto theft, too.

Read him his rights
and book him.

Come on, guys.

You know I confess
to everything.

I'm a phony, believe me.
I-I'm a liar.

It's in the paper
I hit a dancer.

Can't you tell
a dancer from a cop?

I didn't do anything.

He thought if we did believe him

his confession
would be thrown out.

Improper, inadmissible

but not a bad idea.

And he faces five for robbery

fourteen for hit and run.

Now, let's try to hang
the big one on him.

I think he'll roll over.

- Well, first the car.

Nita didn't get
the license number.

So, why don't you take
a ride over to the hospital

and see if the dancer can talk?

Hi, young lady.
Time to wheel you outta here.

Maybe I ought to take
another look at that.

People are usually
a lot perkier

about leaving
the hospital.

Doctor, I think
I've been here

under false pretenses.

I lied to that
policeman who was here.

I lied for money.

What does that make me?

I don't know.

Sounds like a symptom.

Why don't we look
for the cause?

Thank you.

Hi.

I've come
to take you home.

Go away and stay away

or I'm gonna call the police.

Oh, no. Come on.

There's something
I want to show you.

If you like it,
I want to buy it for you.

It's a house.

- Hmm.

You don't have
the money to buy a house.

And if you do have,
you stole it.

How many banks have you robbed?

Oh, we don't want to talk
about things like that.

The police are looking for you.

Forget it.
You're not involved.

Oh, you fool.

I begged you
to stay away from me.

I told you and told you.

And now, you offer to buy me
a house with stolen money

I am involved.
How could you?

How do you think..

...that I paid for all
these hospital bills, huh?

Well, I'll pay you
back every cent.

I don't want to
owe you a thing.

Oh, what am I saying?

Ah, let's, let's just forget
about the house, okay?

Did you get it
all by stealing?

Sweetheart,
you needed the money.

How many lies have
I let myself believe

to get my face back?

I should have lived
with the scars.

No!

Look.

You can do anything you
want with your life now.

You're beautiful again.

You only see my face.

Eileen...your scars are gone.

But I can't get rid of mine.

No, but you've tried,
haven't you?

That's what all this
surgery's been about.

Not my face, you.

Because you know you let that
lion attack me, didn't you?

- Yes!

And you still say,
"Don't bother me.

"Don't touch me.

Leave me alone."

And it still hurts.

Right now, all I'd settle
for is a little kindness.

I loved you so much then.

That I hated you.

And yes!

I can go away now.

That's what
you've always wanted.

I really can.

Excuse me,
do you have a patient

Alan Richardson,
a hit and run victim.

- Officers.

That man you told me about

he's here, now, with Eileen!

'There!'

Jon!

- Come on, I'll tell you.

He wants an attorney present.

We'll wait, alright?
What about his animals?

The animal shelter
has the dogs and the hawk

and the zoo
will take the monkeys.

I guess he loved them.

Yeah, they say
he's really great with them.

I can't help feeling
sorry for the guy.

Well, I know
he's alone in a pit.

But remember,
he dug it himself.

Room 103.

Okay, it's exactly what I said.

Looks good in print.

Well, it's an excellent
statement, Ms. Baldero.

And we thank you
very much for it.

Forget it, doll.

Thank you for getting
my money back.

It wasn't much effort
once Mr. Herzog understood

the nature of his alternatives.

Oh, uh, excuse me a minute.

Poncherello, hi.

Can we talk?

I'm, uh, one dancer short

while Alan's in the hospital.

How's about it?

Double the money.

Me? Never.

I've suffered enough already.

So, cat's out of the bag.

You might as well make it pay.

I'm afraid you're
wasting your breath.

Drive the ladies wild
with that wicked bod.

Triple the money.

He'd never do it, Nita.

Would you, Ponch?

Triple?

Frank!

Ponch.