All language subtitles for CHiPs.S04E12.WEBRip.x264-ION10

Come on, Bell.
We don't wanna be left out.

If this is Grossman's idea,
maybe we do.

Hey, what's the name
of that team? King..

King Charles Troupe
from the East Coast.

Sounds more like a rock group.

You sure they play basketball?

- Hey, mama!
- Hey, there, Bonnie!

Yeah, according to our
self appointed coach

they're pretty good.

- I was afraid of that.

Don't you like, uh, competition?

Ah, it's just that every time
we get involved

with some kind of charity game.

Basketball, softball,
whatever, we get wiped out.

Yeah, not this one.
This is special.

It's an exhibition game
for underprivileged children.

It's going to be fun
even if we do get beat.

Yeah, well, in the meantime

I'm developing
a wipeout complex.

You got to be careful
for the first time

you're gonna become humble.

At ease!

- Hey, wait--
- One at a time!

I don't take shorthand

and you people are confusing me.

Yeah, that's
telling them, coach.

I know what he better be
telling me.

This is a coed basketball team,
right, Grossie?

Well, Grossie?

'As your coach'

I intend to be
scrupulously fair.

Okay, now, no lineup
decisions will be made

until after the practice.

You'll be informed
of the time and place.

For the moment,
that's all I have.

I'll play the right side,
top of the key!

You know what? I think that
I will go out for pro.

I beg your pardon?

It's my best position.

Oh, wait a minute.
I recognize that look.

Now, what great idea
is churning

in that fertile mind of yours?

If it works,
exhibition or no exhibition

there'll be no wipeout
on the basketball court.

Now, we'll be forever grateful.

'Yeah, well, just one thing.'

You're gonna have
to get along

without me for a day or two.

Well, uh, I'll muddle through.

Wanna move the car
off the road, please?

Come on, move it, would you?

And ruin a $100 radial?

'No, thanks.
I'll change it right here.'

Look, which would you rather buy

a new tire or a cemetery plot?

Now, come on, move your car

or I'm gonna have it
moved for you.

'Hold those up, Grossie!'

'Alright.'

Whoa, what are we
going to do now

find another road?

What's wrong with this one?

Hey, man, those are cops.

The sooner they find
our burnt offering

the sooner we get paid.

Right, just don't get
too brave, huh?

Andrew, trust me.

Since you guys are so concerned

how about grabbing a lug wrench?

Ah, I got a basketball game
tonight.

Gotta save my arm.

If you like, we'll call
for some assistance.

Give some guy 15 bucks
for slapping on a spare?

Forget it.

Suit yourself.

Uh, but, be careful
out here, would you?

Hey, did Ponch ever tell you
he just missed

making all

Yeah, the day we met.
We shook hands

and five minutes later,
he told me.

Took him that long, huh?

Yeah.

Come on, let's go!

Let's go! Get it going. Come on.

Go!

Hold it right there.
Hold it. Hold it.

- Oh!

Whoever torched that thing
had enough gasoline

to float a battleship.

At least there wasn't
anybody in it.

We can be thankful
for that, anyhow.

Arsonists with a conscience?

There's no such animal.

Hey, I wonder if that kid

over there saw anything.

Well, you're never
going to find out

unless you go ask him, are you?

Come on, Grossie.

You see that, Frank?
What have I been telling you?

You see what can happen
when you buy a trailer?

You're not being fair, Muriel.

Fair-schmair.

I didn't buy this mess

that we're dragging
along behind us. You did.

'You know, it's not the trailer
you're sore at.'

What you're really sore about

is that for once,
I'm going to get to do

what I want to do
on my vacation.

I'm gonna get to go fishing.

Yeah, where there's
no motels, no restaurants

no souvenir shops.

Yeah, and I'm going to get
to save a fortune.

I hate you, Frank.

I really do.

I suppose one time Ponch
was the best

kite flier in east LA.

To hear Ponch tell it

he wasn't second best
at anything.

I hear what you're saying.

Hiya, son, you got a minute?

It was two guys in a blue van.

I was going to come over

as soon as I got my kite down.

Two sticks, some string,
sports page.

That's the kind
I used to make.

Wanna try it?

Fantastic.

Now, as you were saying?

Yeah, the two guys
stopped over there.

They unhooked
their trailer and split.

Couple of seconds later,
whammo!

What more can I tell you?

'Okay, I'm gonna need'

'your name and address,
alright?'

'Sure.'

Oh, no.

- You were pulling too hard!

Look maybe I can arrange
for Ponch

to give you
a kite-flying lesson.

Hey, I'm sorry.

I still think
five bucks for a homemade kite

is kind of steep,
don't you think?

Took you all day
to figure that out, huh?

Hold this for me, would you?

Alright, top that.

- Okay, okay, okay.
- Yeah. Come on.

Hey, you're late.

Fine coach you turned out to be.

I didn't invent paperwork.
You big shots did.

That's telling him, Grossie.

Hey, before I put you guys
to shame with a basketball

let me guess,
that barbecued trailer

this morning was stolen, right?

How many of these
brilliant deductions

has he come up with today?

Let's see, I think
I lost count at noon.

One other thing, I bet the owner

and the thieves
were in cahoots.

Yeah, insurance rip-off.

RVs' that people can

no longer afford to gas up

pull around,
or make payments on.

Ah, at least we got
a description of the van.

- Hmm.
- Yeah, it cost me five bucks.

Hey, partner.
I hear you had a busy day.

Yeah. I missed you.
Have a nice vacation?

Busy, busy, busy.

He's up to something sneaky.
I can feel it.

Ah, come on, coach.
You'll love it.

Let's get with it, huh?

'Hey, Baker.
Let's see you drive, here.'

Okay, we're going to
warm up for five more minutes.

Now, remember, this is a try-out

so I'm going
to be watching, alright?

Alright, let's go.

Hey, hey, hey.

That's your guy, Ponch.

We're in trouble.

They're good.

What do you think, Turner?

Well, they're black
but not too tall.

Let's go!

The portable TV
belongs to my wife.

Everything else
goes with the unit.

It's hard to believe
you're asking

so little for your equity.

- Write-off.

I'm a building contractor.

Oh, I get it.

What Uncle Sam doesn't know
doesn't hurt him, right?

When I know you better,
I'll give you the answer.

How much is it insured for?

Twenty grand.

I wouldn't advise you
to carry any less.

You owe the bank how much?

'10,000 and change.'

Give me the down

take over the payments

and she's all yours.

Here.

Give me a call.

We just might do that.

Thank you for
your time, Mr. Evans.

My pleasure.

Andrew.

Oh, Mr. Porwell. Got a second?

Guy's got thief
written all over him.

Why are we taking off?

I would prefer
that night watchman

not to get a closer look at us.

That old boozer?

What difference does that make?

Probably none,
but why take a chance?

Are we kissing off the better
part of 10 grand here?

I'll bet you two bits
we picked up a nail

in that motel parking lot.

I don't know why
I ever listen to you.

We can still be
at the lake before dark.

Change the tire,
and let's get going.

Change what tire?
I don't have a spare.

What do you mean
you don't have a spare?

It's in the truck.

On top of my white suitcase?

No, honey, look.

That tire's for
the pickup truck.

I never thought
I was gonna need

a spare for the trailer.

But that was a brand-new
hunk of rubber.

Honestly, Frank,
how you figure

to outsmart a trout
is far beyond me.

It's dangerous here.

Look, would you get
back in the truck?

You crazy? It's got to be
110 degrees in there.

Alright, don't get
back in the truck.

Uh, uh, walk up
here on the shoulder.

We don't need any more trouble
than we got, huh?

What are you gonna do,
make a spare tire?

No. I'll tell you what. I'll go
over to that house over there.

'Call a garage
or-or a filling station.'

Now, do like I told you,
please!

Frank, no!

I didn't hit him. He fell.

You alright, mister?
Let's have a look at you, okay.

Yeah, I'm fine, fine.
I-I just stumbled.

Yeah, help me up, will you?

Incredible. He runs just
in front of me.

Is that true, mister?

Yeah.

Holy mackerel.

What a mess.

You're hurt? Don't move.
Just stay where you are.

No way, man.
Get me out of here.

Oh, Frank, darling.

I've never been so frightened

in my whole life.

Me, too. That makes two of us.

When I heard those brakes

and saw you fall, oh, Frank!

Honey, I'm alright.

All I did was just hurt
my leg a little bit.

- I'm positive.

Oh! Look on the bright side.

The truck and the trailer
are complete wipeouts.

Yeah.

But everybody's up
and around alright.

Well, thank the Lord,
that is the best news

I've heard since
we left Indiana.

- Yes, sir.

So far it has been
a laugh a minute.

Muriel, don't start,
I'm gonna hear about this

for the next hundred years.

Oh, you can count
on it, mister.

I'll probably get sued
by everybody

for a half a mile
around besides.

Now, that wouldn't
surprise me.

'You hear that?
Do you hear that?'

All because you
couldn't go fishing

without that stupid trailer.

The next time I get
a flat tire

I'll just send my wife
to the phone.

May I have your
driver's license, please?

Oh, it's in the trailer.

Let's go!

Alright, it's clear.

Hey, bring these cars up.
Let's go.

'Okay, a lot of people
are sore at you'

so I suggest you contact
your insurance agent

'and tell him the whole story
as soon as possible.'

And you better keep him informed
of your whereabouts, okay?

We will. Oh, and, guys, thanks
a lot, you've been wonderful.

Do you like fish?
We'll drop some off

for you on our way home.

See what I mean?

Nothing ever changes.

Have a nice vacation.

Thanks.

Let me get this straight.

For 2,000 bucks,
10% of my insurance.

You guys will burn
my motor home to the ground.

Is that the proposition?

With nothing in advance.

Thank you.

When the insurance
pays you, you pay us.

You mean...if it pays.

Granted, these things
are always investigated.

Sooner or later however

unless they can
prove you were involved

the insurance company
must pay you.

That way you settle with
the bank first

and you got a bundle
of money left over.

'That sure beats
that tax write-off'

'you were talking about,
doesn't it?'

I'd be lying if I said
I wasn't tempted.

But what you're proposing
is a crime

and I'm not a criminal.

You say you're
a contractor, Mr. Evans.

I build houses, good ones.
Look around the neighborhood.

You ever cheat
on your income tax

'inflate your business expenses'

your gasoline costs,
your tool purchases?

Did you ever put
shop grade plywood

on somebody's roof
and charge them

for grade A lumber?

Ah, come on.
How can you compare--

Have you ever been
to court, Mr. Evans?

As a witness, perhaps.

One time, in a civil suit.

I testified
for a friend of mine.

On the witness stand,
did you fib a little

for this friend of yours?

What do you think?

He was suing the phone company.

Spoken like a true American.

How can you compare
piddling stuff like that

with ripping off an insurance
company for 20,000 bucks?

Look, you're
missing the point.

If you're going
to lie and cheat

might as well be honest
about it and make it pay.

I don't know.
I don't know.

You guys are confusing me.

Mr. Evans, so far,
you have confessed

to theft, fraud

'giving perjured testimony'

and falsifying a tax return.

Have I overlooked anything?

No. That about covers it.

To my way of thinking,
sir, with your record

I find it very difficult
to understand

why the thought of ripping off
an insurance company

is so abhorrent to you.

I'm beginning to wonder
myself, you know.

Now we're getting somewhere.

Any sign of the night watchman?

No. He's probably down
the street tipping a few.

You ready?

Let's go.

What, wh-what's
going on up there?

S-stop! I-I'll shoot!

'15 Mary 3, LA.'

'PR reports there's smoke
coming from a mobile home'

'in the RV Lot,
1-6-0-0 North Willow.'

'Be advised, the facility's
main gate is locked.'

'Fire and 11-42
are en route, code three.'

LA, 7 Boy 2 away and responding.

'10-4, 6-4.'

It's locked!

There's someone in there.

Alright, step aside.

- Okay, watch your head.
- Alright.

Okay, be careful.

Alright, when I get to the door

we'll bring him out that way.

Okay.

Hey, Bear!

'He's in here.'

Get his feet.

Um, I think I missed something,
Mr. Evans.

Would you say that again?

I said you were supposed to

burn it not smoke it to death.

Now the CHP wants to talk to me.

Congratulations, Mr. Wizard.

Your bomb fizzled.

That's impossible.

I-I am sorry about this,
Mr. Evans.

We'll stay in touch

and when things calm down

we'll try again.

And don't worry, please.

'I guarantee
you will have results.'

Forget it.
The deal's off. I mean it.

I don't work that way,
Mr. Evans.

Well, maybe you don't. I do.

I'm through with you guys,
understand?

Don't call here again.

What's wrong, Ray?

Oh, that was Porwell

from the RV storage lot.

There's been some vandalism

and he wants me
to go down there.

Oh, vandalism to what?

Our motor home?

- I'm afraid so.
- I'm going with you.

Why? What about
the groceries?

They can wait.
I'll put them away later.

Come on, let's go.

Hey, cowboy, get rid of that.

Ah, you wanna back off?

I recognize the smell
from Vietnam, picric acid.

Lucky for some
insurance company

that trigger was defective.

You guys run the license?

The owner's on his way.

Two RVs in two days.

Seems like half
the people in town

are playing with matches.

If we could find a way
to take the profit

out of arson
then the insurance companies

would make us
millionaires overnight.

What have they done to it?

But why? I don't understand.

I know what you mean.

Look, honey,
let me do the talking.

You keep out of it, please.

Why do you say that to me--

Never mind!

For once, please,
just do what I ask.

Hi.

I'm Ray Evans.
What's happened?

Dispatcher tell you?

All she said was somebody
tried to burn us out.

What dispatcher?

I thought you talked

to that over-the-hill watchman.

Honey. Let me
handle this, please.

'What's wrong with you, Ray?'

'My name's on
that pink slip, too.'

We were paying the man extra

to keep an eye
on that thing.

Where is he, by the way?

I'd like to have a word
with him.

Wait, did the watchman
call your home?

Right. Not, uh,
not ten minutes ago.

Did you talk to him?

No, but my husband did.

Didn't you, Ray?

I'm a little curious.

Do you mind if we look
around inside?

I doubt, before you do that

would you mind
telling us once again

when did you talk
to the watchman?

Oh, about ten, 15 minutes ago.

Why? What difference
does it make?

What's the big deal?

The watchman was overcome
by smoke in there.

15 minutes ago,
he was unconscious.

There's no way you could have

spoken with him
on the telephone.

Oh, no, that couldn't be.
There must be some--

Barbara, please.

Your dispatcher
didn't say a word

about the watchman.

That's right.
We didn't tell her.

Will somebody please tell me
what's going on here?

Mr. Porwell. Is he okay?

In addition to suffering
from smoke inhalation

he had an apparent coronary.

When he left here, he
was in pretty bad shape.

I guess I got some explaining
to do, haven't I?

'Ray?'

Ray, what is it?

What's happened?
What have you done?

Something stupid, I'm afraid.

The burners are Tom Dempsey
and Andy Whitman

male caucs, early 30s.

Well, according to Mr. Evans
they are fairly new in town.

So I doubt weather
you have anything on 'em.

That's right. Mr. Evans
has agreed to cooperate.

Now, sir. I think I made
that rather plain.

Alright.
Thank you very much.

The DA thinks he may
go wrong with this.

What happens now?

After you've booked him.

Take him over
to the DA's office.

Right.

Over there you are going to

fill out a sworn statement.

If the DA goes along
with our proposal.

'You'll be released
on your own recognizance.'

After that, you go home
and wait.

If the watchman dies..

What will my husband
be charged with?

The death of a person
as a result of arson

or attempted arson is, uh..

...murder in the first degree.

Let's give 'em a few minutes.

Maybe help save
the guy's marriage, huh?

Yeah. You think the burners
will strike again?

Ah, I'll make book on it.

- Hey, that's the come-on.

After the fact, their 10% fee
goes up to more like two-thirds

of what the sucker gets out
of his insurance company.

You learn something
new every day.

How's your plan to stake out
the RV storage lot?

Um..

You got a better idea?

Hey, Jon, Barry

I've been looking for you.

Holy smoke You guys
smell like my hibachi.

Yeah, well, we feel
more like smoked herring.

Hey, Grossie, tell us,
did Jon and I make the team?

Affirmative.

After weighing your
individual performances

during the try-outs.

Jon, you and Barry
are gonna be starting forwards.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you, Grossie.

Ponch will going to be
alternating with

Harlan at a guard position.

Uh, wait a minute, now.

Ponch isn't going to like that.

I don't play favorites. Okay?

Now, game's tonight, 8 o'clock.

Arrive suited up
and ready for action.

Officer Grossman.

Yeah, Joe?

What about me?

Ahem, Where do I play

Why, uh, anyplace
you want to, sergeant.

Hey, good choice.

That from a guy who doesn't
play any favorites?

Yeah, he didn't just fall off
a turnip truck. Ahem.

My mama didn't
raise no dumb kids.

Muriel? Hey, Muriel, let me in.

Come on, Muriel.
I got something to tell you.

Hey, I bet you think
that I rented this rig

just to go fishing, huh?

Shows you how much you know.

'Hey, Muriel?'

'Muriel!'

Hi, is this the way
to Disneyland?

Are you traveling alone?

Yep, and that's the way
I plan to keep it.

Wh

Did he buy a new trailer?

Rented one.
Out of spite, of course.

So, what else is new?

Does he know
you're hitchhiking?

What Mr. Higgins knows
or doesn't know

is no longer
a concern of mine.

'LA 15 Mary 3.'

I need a taxicab
at 1932 Dyer Avenue

for an 11-48-K to, uh..

Disneyland.

'Mary 3, LA'

'Did you say
an 11'

You heard me.

Listen, uh, do you know

it's against the law
to ride in a trailer?

Well, I just rode
to the first stop sign.

Then I got out right away.

Ah.

Would you like me
to help you try

and locate your husband?

I have a checkbook.
What do I need with him?

Alright, just the same..

I'll try and
find him, alright?

And when I do, I'll tell him

where he can find you.

I don't think
that'll be necessary.

No!

Don't you ever,
do that to me again.

Not ever!
Do you understand me?

I won't. I promise.
Not ever.

I didn't rent that rig
just to go fishing.

I got it so you could
stay wherever

you like as long as you like.

I even got trailer space
at Disneyland.

Do you hear what I'm saying?

It won't happen again.
Never, never, never.

Honey.

When I looked in that trailer
and you weren't there

I aged 20 years.

Everything's gonna be fine.

It's going to be alright.

Oh, Frank, I love you.

Oh, that's more like it.

And I forgive you.

You what?

I didn't mean that.

Kiss me, darling.

'31-20, head on the freeway
northbound 101..'

You sound nervous,
Mr. Evans. What's wrong?

Were the police troublesome?

No. No, not really.

You were discreet, I trust?

Of course. You think I'm crazy?

No, no, no, but I was leery
about calling you.

I was afraid you might not
wanna talk to me.

Listen..

I'm sorry about that
last conversation.

I was uptight.

'Well, please,
don't worry about it.'

'I understand, and I will
be in touch soon.'

I'm going next door
to call the sergeant.

Why can't you
call him from here?

Because if Dempsey
were to call back

find the line busy,
he might become suspicious.

You sound like
one of two things.

A crook or a policeman.

What is it, Ray?

'11-98.. 101 to Victoria
for exchange of information.'

LA, 15, 7 Adam.
10-5 to Mary 3.

I've got a blue van
in the RV storage lot

1,600 North Willow.

10-35. 7 Adam is rolling.

This time, Andrew

may we have more
fire and less smoke?

When all else fails..

It's back to basics.

Oh, come on. My back, man!

Call me an ambulance!

Okay. You're an ambulance.

'Help!'

'Help me! Please help me! Help!'

Help! Get me out of here.
I don't wanna burn!

Take it easy, would you?
There's no fire.

- Come on.

- Yeah, I'm positive.

Got a professional torch
who's afraid of fire.

Na, come on, now.

No, it was Whitman's idea.
I hate fire.

All I did was drive.

You hate fire?

You'd better start
getting used

to a lot of heat, you hear me?

You heard the man, mister.

Now put your hands on your head.

Where's Ponch?

I was counting
on him for a starter.

Is he coming?

He took the sacred oath
that he'd be here.

Hey, look.

Huh

'Who's afraid of
a wipeout now, huh?'

Shades of wilt the stilt.

So that's what you've
been up to, huh?

'I checked personnel files'

made the rounds
all over to west LA

Santa Fe Springs, Newhall.

Do you realize we're the only
station in these parts

without a seven-footer
in it

Ponch, but, uh, somehow this
doesn't seem completely honest.

Boys, I think we've been had.

I don't get it.

Yeah. I bet you don't.

Honest, sarge.
I'm as surprised as you are.

So what? Listen to them.
They love them.

Come on, let's
go have some fun.

Another wipeout.

You know, I've seen those guys.

I've seen them work somewhere.

- I just placed them.

King Charles Troupe.
You ever go to the circus?

Ringling Bros.
Barnum & Bailey Circus?

'Right.'

So, you burned up a couple
of days of leave time.

Was it worth it?

Offhand, no.

But when I think about how much

those kids enjoyed that show

I figure, what the heck?

Really, hey, Bear,
it just occurred to me

that burner
you picked up yesterday

his buddy could be suing him
for abandonment.

Don't you think?

I know one thing.

My suspects will be
sleeping on a board

for the next couple of months.

Would anybody like
to hear about my day?

- No.
- No, Grossie.

No. We'll pass.

Well, in that case

I guess I'll be running along.

Second throttle cable
this week, hotshot.

Ah!

Hey, I got good news.

The watchman at
the RV storage lot

is out of intensive care.

'I just spoke with his doctor.'

Hey, I know one RV owner
and his wife

that will be glad to hear that.

Anything from the DA's office?

Yeah. Dempsey and Whitman

have cleared
a half dozen arsons

and they're still talking.

Yeah, that could go on and on.

It could.

Ah, new subject, sarge

did you ever figure out
who set us up

for that so called
basketball game?

Why

Hey, don't get me wrong.

I enjoyed it as much as anybody.

But as the team coach

I don't appreciate
being hoodwinked

and I'd like to get
that message across.

Hey. No problem.

I'm sure the captain
would just love

to talk to you about it.

- Mm-hmm.

Read 'em off, Grossie.
Let him have it.

Yeah. Tell him we were never
so embarrassed in our lives.

Well, Artie?

Well, on second thought

upon reflection the whole
affair was rather amusing.

Wasn't it?