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00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:08,671
Okay, tonight's round
3
00:00:08,673 --> 00:00:13,742
of guess that terrible
Rosie drawing starts... now.
4
00:00:15,446 --> 00:00:19,081
Good God, that is terrible
even for you.
5
00:00:19,083 --> 00:00:21,617
All right, hint.
She's really famous.
6
00:00:21,619 --> 00:00:23,919
Queen Elizabeth.
7
00:00:23,921 --> 00:00:26,121
Queen Latifah.
8
00:00:26,123 --> 00:00:27,890
Maybe Oprah?
9
00:00:27,892 --> 00:00:31,193
- Okay, hint number two.
- She's a modern singer.
10
00:00:31,195 --> 00:00:34,196
Bette Midler.
11
00:00:34,198 --> 00:00:35,698
What? Dude, she said modern.
12
00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:37,933
Uh, well then, um...
13
00:00:37,935 --> 00:00:41,103
Ariani Seleno.
14
00:00:41,105 --> 00:00:43,238
Okay, third and final hint.
15
00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:44,773
Chula Vista gas station.
16
00:00:44,775 --> 00:00:46,842
- Britney Spears!
- Yes!
17
00:00:46,844 --> 00:00:48,410
27 seconds!
18
00:00:48,412 --> 00:00:50,446
I stand by Queen Latifah.
19
00:00:51,882 --> 00:00:55,984
♪ ♪
20
00:01:00,157 --> 00:01:01,690
Hey, Abs.
21
00:01:01,692 --> 00:01:04,727
Any chance you could trim
that tree by the fence?
22
00:01:04,729 --> 00:01:07,696
It's dropping these spiky
little gumball things
23
00:01:07,698 --> 00:01:09,798
into my backyard.
Oh, I love these things.
24
00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:11,967
When I was a kid, I used to
make creepy little earrings
25
00:01:11,969 --> 00:01:13,302
out of them.
26
00:01:13,304 --> 00:01:14,970
When I was a kid,
my granny used to
27
00:01:14,972 --> 00:01:17,339
chuck 'em at me.
28
00:01:17,341 --> 00:01:19,508
She was a monster.
29
00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:22,544
Yeah, it's just my Jacuzzi
is littered with 'em,
30
00:01:22,546 --> 00:01:24,446
and that's the only place
at home where I can
31
00:01:24,448 --> 00:01:25,881
escape my boys.
32
00:01:25,883 --> 00:01:27,616
When they were five,
I told them
33
00:01:27,618 --> 00:01:29,284
the jets could suck them
down the drain
34
00:01:29,286 --> 00:01:31,086
and spit them into the Pacific.
35
00:01:32,857 --> 00:01:35,357
They still believe it.
36
00:01:35,359 --> 00:01:37,826
Oh, those dummies.
I don't know, Beth.
37
00:01:37,828 --> 00:01:39,328
I like the trees
the way they are.
38
00:01:39,330 --> 00:01:40,596
Plus, those branches
39
00:01:40,598 --> 00:01:42,498
block my view
of Henry's backyard.
40
00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:45,000
He swims nude.
He does yoga nude.
41
00:01:45,002 --> 00:01:47,002
He teaches yoga nude.
42
00:01:47,004 --> 00:01:49,471
To other nude people.
43
00:01:49,473 --> 00:01:51,640
I can't help you.
Uh, hey, Abby.
44
00:01:51,642 --> 00:01:53,475
Some of these bar rules
are ridiculous.
45
00:01:53,477 --> 00:01:55,811
No talking
about your dreams"?
46
00:01:55,813 --> 00:01:57,746
Well, what if you had
a real doozy
47
00:01:57,748 --> 00:01:59,648
where you and Barack Obama
opened up a restaurant toge--
48
00:01:59,650 --> 00:02:01,216
- Uh. No.
- No, no, no.
49
00:02:01,218 --> 00:02:02,584
All right, fine.
I can take a hint.
50
00:02:02,586 --> 00:02:03,886
I know when I'm not wanted.
51
00:02:03,888 --> 00:02:05,621
I was just gonna go
put this quarter
52
00:02:05,623 --> 00:02:08,056
in the jukebox--but
it's Missouri!
53
00:02:08,058 --> 00:02:10,025
Oh, man!
54
00:02:10,027 --> 00:02:13,295
I've been looking for
a Missouri for quite some time.
55
00:02:13,297 --> 00:02:14,797
As you might have guessed,
I collect
56
00:02:14,799 --> 00:02:16,732
the state quarters,
and Missouri is--
57
00:02:16,734 --> 00:02:18,901
well, let's just say they don't
grow on trees, my friends.
58
00:02:18,903 --> 00:02:21,670
I can't use
this on a dumb song.
59
00:02:21,672 --> 00:02:23,272
I'm in quite a pickle here now.
Hey.
60
00:02:23,274 --> 00:02:25,707
Lookee, I got all kinds
of change here.
61
00:02:25,709 --> 00:02:28,043
Why don't you go spend it.
Way over there.
62
00:02:28,045 --> 00:02:30,512
- Thanks, Fred.
- Okay.
63
00:02:30,514 --> 00:02:32,614
Okay, so your landlord, Bill,
64
00:02:32,616 --> 00:02:36,385
he's just here now,
interacting with us forever?
65
00:02:36,387 --> 00:02:38,887
Yeah, it's a problem.
Okay, huddle up.
66
00:02:40,324 --> 00:02:41,857
Do you remember
when we had the mice
67
00:02:41,859 --> 00:02:43,859
and it was impossible
to enjoy ourselves?
68
00:02:43,861 --> 00:02:45,694
Well, this is just like
the mice, okay?
69
00:02:45,696 --> 00:02:47,496
Don't worry.
I'll handle it.
70
00:02:47,498 --> 00:02:50,632
Oh. So you're going to lure
Bill into a plastic tube
71
00:02:50,634 --> 00:02:55,170
using peanut butter and then
release him in Balboa Park?
72
00:02:55,172 --> 00:02:57,973
No. Would that work,
do you think?
73
00:02:57,975 --> 00:02:59,508
No, right?
74
00:02:59,510 --> 00:03:01,643
Hey, Fred.
Just an FYI.
75
00:03:01,645 --> 00:03:05,714
A lot of this change
is just buttons.
76
00:03:05,716 --> 00:03:06,982
Hey, uh, Bill.
77
00:03:06,984 --> 00:03:10,452
I feel like we've been taking
up a lot of your time lately.
78
00:03:10,454 --> 00:03:12,387
There must be tons
of other people in your life
79
00:03:12,389 --> 00:03:15,090
who are just desperate
to get a...
80
00:03:15,092 --> 00:03:18,594
a hot slice of Bill.
Not really.
81
00:03:18,596 --> 00:03:20,596
Most of my "friends"
are at trivia night
82
00:03:20,598 --> 00:03:22,431
with my ex-wife,
so, you know,
83
00:03:22,433 --> 00:03:24,032
if I showed up there,
it would be a little awkward.
84
00:03:24,034 --> 00:03:26,835
Well, you never know
unless you try though, right?
85
00:03:26,837 --> 00:03:29,071
I did try last week actually.
86
00:03:29,073 --> 00:03:31,673
Yeah, the only question
I didn't know the answer to is,
87
00:03:31,675 --> 00:03:33,909
"Who is that strange man
and why is his hand
88
00:03:33,911 --> 00:03:35,477
on my ex-wife's lower back?"
89
00:03:35,479 --> 00:03:38,614
You know, you're never gonna
really understand the bar
90
00:03:38,616 --> 00:03:40,716
if you're just reading through
the rules, you know?
91
00:03:40,718 --> 00:03:43,151
Maybe you should just go sit
on the back benches.
92
00:03:43,153 --> 00:03:46,788
Get to know the people.
She's right, Bill.
93
00:03:46,790 --> 00:03:48,924
It's not really fair that you
just got your own seat
94
00:03:48,926 --> 00:03:51,260
at the bar without having to
come up through the ranks
95
00:03:51,262 --> 00:03:52,928
like everybody else.
Shocker.
96
00:03:52,930 --> 00:03:55,731
The tall, white man got to skip
to the head of the line.
97
00:03:55,733 --> 00:03:57,566
Whoa. come on.
98
00:03:57,568 --> 00:03:59,868
I only got to skip ahead
because this is my property.
99
00:03:59,870 --> 00:04:01,203
And why is it your property?
100
00:04:01,205 --> 00:04:02,604
It's not
because I'm tall or white.
101
00:04:02,606 --> 00:04:05,107
It's because I inherited
from my rich aunt,
102
00:04:05,109 --> 00:04:07,743
fair and square.
103
00:04:07,745 --> 00:04:12,080
Wow, I am truly part
of the problem, aren't I?
104
00:04:12,082 --> 00:04:14,216
So go be part
of the solution.
105
00:04:14,218 --> 00:04:17,185
Get on back there.
Sit amongst the people.
106
00:04:17,187 --> 00:04:18,587
It'll be like
"Undercover Boss."
107
00:04:18,589 --> 00:04:20,255
Except everybody knows
who are you are.
108
00:04:20,257 --> 00:04:22,057
And you're not the boss.
109
00:04:22,059 --> 00:04:23,325
All right,
I'll give it a try.
110
00:04:23,327 --> 00:04:24,993
I mean, I do love
"Undercover Boss."
111
00:04:24,995 --> 00:04:29,431
Those wigs. I mean, who do
they think they're kidding?
112
00:04:30,668 --> 00:04:33,902
So you're saying Tony Gwynn's
big paunchy belly
113
00:04:33,904 --> 00:04:36,672
is what made him good?
Yeah.
114
00:04:36,674 --> 00:04:39,508
Fat is energy, Dale.
115
00:04:39,510 --> 00:04:41,977
That's science.
116
00:04:41,979 --> 00:04:44,112
Hey. Baseball, huh, guys?
117
00:04:44,114 --> 00:04:46,348
The ol' white ball,
isn't that right?
118
00:04:49,119 --> 00:04:51,453
Did you guys know that the name
"Padres" is actual a reference
119
00:04:51,455 --> 00:04:53,622
to the Franciscan priests
who built missions
120
00:04:53,624 --> 00:04:55,290
all up and down the coast
of California?
121
00:04:55,292 --> 00:04:56,858
Actually,
have you guys ever been
122
00:04:56,860 --> 00:04:59,027
to the San Juan Capistrano
mission?
123
00:04:59,029 --> 00:05:00,929
Because it is very beautiful.
124
00:05:00,931 --> 00:05:02,364
I've been to Mission Burrito.
125
00:05:02,366 --> 00:05:04,499
Now, that place is legit.
126
00:05:07,271 --> 00:05:11,340
Damn, man, I wish we could
wear sandals.
127
00:05:11,342 --> 00:05:15,110
That's like 80% of the reason
why I moved to San Diego.
128
00:05:15,112 --> 00:05:17,446
The other 20% is...
129
00:05:17,448 --> 00:05:20,749
military towns
make me feel safe.
130
00:05:20,751 --> 00:05:22,317
That's right.
Rule number 103.
131
00:05:22,319 --> 00:05:24,486
No men are allowed to wear
open-toed shoes in the bar
132
00:05:24,488 --> 00:05:28,390
because "gross,
who wants to see that?"
133
00:05:28,392 --> 00:05:30,993
Totally untrue.
I have beautiful feet.
134
00:05:30,995 --> 00:05:33,128
It's my ankles
that's the problem.
135
00:05:33,130 --> 00:05:35,263
If you guys wanted,
I could talk to Abby about it.
136
00:05:35,265 --> 00:05:37,032
- For real?
- Well, yeah, I mean,
137
00:05:37,034 --> 00:05:38,800
I'm her landlord,
and as the property owner,
138
00:05:38,802 --> 00:05:40,235
I should have some pull
with her.
139
00:05:40,237 --> 00:05:42,204
Bill, that would be amazing.
140
00:05:42,206 --> 00:05:44,239
If you could get
that rule changed,
141
00:05:44,241 --> 00:05:47,242
you'd be my new best friend.
Really?
142
00:05:47,244 --> 00:05:50,545
I mean, yeah, I'll give it
a shot, I don't know.
143
00:05:50,547 --> 00:05:52,180
Okay, I'll do it.
144
00:05:52,182 --> 00:05:54,616
Excuse me, bar keep?
145
00:05:54,618 --> 00:05:57,853
Oh, my God. I'm really sorry.
I don't know why I said that.
146
00:05:57,855 --> 00:05:59,988
Hey, listen, Abby, can I talk
to you about something?
147
00:05:59,990 --> 00:06:01,556
Nothing would make me
happier, Bill.
148
00:06:01,558 --> 00:06:04,326
Okay, well, I think that
we should amend Rule 103.
149
00:06:04,328 --> 00:06:06,361
I think it's time that the men
at the bar
150
00:06:06,363 --> 00:06:08,730
are able to wear
open-toed shoes.
151
00:06:08,732 --> 00:06:12,734
Seriously, James?
You got Bill asking me now?
152
00:06:12,736 --> 00:06:16,471
I don't even--what
are we talking about?
153
00:06:16,473 --> 00:06:19,975
The answer is no, Bill.
Let me tell you a little story.
154
00:06:19,977 --> 00:06:23,145
I was attacked
by a man's foot once.
155
00:06:23,147 --> 00:06:25,180
It was two years ago.
156
00:06:25,182 --> 00:06:27,049
I was reaching down
to pick up a pen
157
00:06:27,051 --> 00:06:30,886
when an older gentleman's
toenail grazed my cheek.
158
00:06:30,888 --> 00:06:32,621
Eww.
159
00:06:32,623 --> 00:06:36,058
And... his big toe,
briefly but unmistakably,
160
00:06:36,060 --> 00:06:37,959
touched the tip of my tooth.
161
00:06:39,763 --> 00:06:42,764
I worked for two years
on a commercial fishing boat.
162
00:06:42,766 --> 00:06:45,100
Saw a lot of fish
clubbed to death.
163
00:06:45,102 --> 00:06:48,003
And that is the most upsetting
thing I've ever seen.
164
00:06:48,005 --> 00:06:51,907
Okay, yes, that is just
really, really, really gross,
165
00:06:51,909 --> 00:06:53,909
but it was a freak accident,
Abby.
166
00:06:53,911 --> 00:06:55,777
Okay, I've been talking
to the people,
167
00:06:55,779 --> 00:06:57,846
the real people,
the back bench people,
168
00:06:57,848 --> 00:07:00,916
who are, by the way,
the fabric of this bar,
169
00:07:00,918 --> 00:07:02,417
and their feet are suffering.
170
00:07:02,419 --> 00:07:04,720
The people have impulses
that aren't always
171
00:07:04,722 --> 00:07:06,121
what's best for them
or the bar,
172
00:07:06,123 --> 00:07:07,823
especially when there's booze
involved.
173
00:07:07,825 --> 00:07:09,491
She's right.
Last week, Fireworks Jerry
174
00:07:09,493 --> 00:07:11,727
had four rum and Cokes
and wanted to set off
175
00:07:11,729 --> 00:07:13,228
bottle rockets back here.
Bottle rockets!
176
00:07:13,230 --> 00:07:14,896
Who needs them? You need some?
I have some.
177
00:07:14,898 --> 00:07:17,432
You need some?
Jerry, settle down!
178
00:07:17,434 --> 00:07:19,134
Settle.
179
00:07:19,136 --> 00:07:21,870
Down.
180
00:07:21,872 --> 00:07:23,638
Second of all,
the rules protect
181
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:25,640
the integrity of the bar.
182
00:07:25,642 --> 00:07:27,609
We don't just change them
on a whim, okay?
183
00:07:27,611 --> 00:07:30,011
Conversation over.
184
00:07:30,013 --> 00:07:33,415
all:
Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill.
185
00:07:33,417 --> 00:07:35,784
Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill.
186
00:07:35,786 --> 00:07:37,385
Ahem, excuse me.
187
00:07:37,387 --> 00:07:39,287
I hereby invoke Rule 47b,
188
00:07:39,289 --> 00:07:41,189
which stipulates
that any person may challenge
189
00:07:41,191 --> 00:07:43,825
an existing rule through
the application of due process.
190
00:07:43,827 --> 00:07:47,095
You fool.
191
00:07:47,097 --> 00:07:48,864
Hey, Bill,
after Abby murders you,
192
00:07:48,866 --> 00:07:51,233
can we have
your cell phone case?
193
00:07:52,936 --> 00:07:57,005
We're still gonna want to make
fun of you when you're gone.
194
00:07:57,007 --> 00:07:59,007
You really want to do this?
195
00:08:01,211 --> 00:08:02,577
I do.
196
00:08:02,579 --> 00:08:04,479
Okay, Rosie, ring the bell.
197
00:08:04,481 --> 00:08:05,814
We got a rule challenge.
198
00:08:07,151 --> 00:08:08,984
Oh, that's
the "fact challenge" bell.
199
00:08:08,986 --> 00:08:12,354
Rule challenge bell is bronze.
Mm. Right.
200
00:08:12,356 --> 00:08:13,722
Okay...
201
00:08:13,724 --> 00:08:17,692
Hm, ehh, hm.
202
00:08:17,694 --> 00:08:18,960
It's kinda taking a while.
Can we talk
203
00:08:18,962 --> 00:08:20,695
while she's down--
No! Gotta wait.
204
00:08:22,032 --> 00:08:26,168
all: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
205
00:08:26,170 --> 00:08:29,271
That's the, uh,
birthday bell.
206
00:08:29,273 --> 00:08:30,806
Yeah, I got that.
207
00:08:30,808 --> 00:08:32,774
♪ ♪
208
00:08:37,857 --> 00:08:39,223
we gotta regroup.
209
00:08:39,225 --> 00:08:40,891
Yeah, what are we gonna do
about this problem
210
00:08:40,893 --> 00:08:43,460
mostly Dale started?
211
00:08:43,462 --> 00:08:45,495
This is our bar,
and Bill is trying to change
212
00:08:45,497 --> 00:08:47,297
the soul of this place,
but we are not gonna let
213
00:08:47,299 --> 00:08:49,199
Bill squash everything
we've built together.
214
00:08:49,201 --> 00:08:51,301
Instead, we are going
to squash Bill.
215
00:08:51,303 --> 00:08:53,370
- "Squash Bill" on three.
- You're overcompensating,
216
00:08:53,372 --> 00:08:55,072
but I like it.
Let's do it. One, two, three.
217
00:08:55,074 --> 00:08:57,174
all: Squash Bill!
218
00:08:59,645 --> 00:09:02,045
Okay, the process
for changing a rule
219
00:09:02,047 --> 00:09:03,213
is pretty simple.
220
00:09:03,215 --> 00:09:06,817
Ooh. That's actually P-R-O-C.
221
00:09:06,819 --> 00:09:09,052
I'm a product of the
spell-check generation, Bill.
222
00:09:09,054 --> 00:09:11,989
Get off my ass.
223
00:09:11,991 --> 00:09:13,557
But thank you.
224
00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:15,058
The rule change
must be brought
225
00:09:15,060 --> 00:09:16,894
to a standing committee
of regulars,
226
00:09:16,896 --> 00:09:18,729
which includes,
obviously, me, Beth,
227
00:09:18,731 --> 00:09:21,164
Fred, James, Rosie,
and Skip.
228
00:09:21,166 --> 00:09:22,666
Skip always abstains.
229
00:09:22,668 --> 00:09:25,736
Or falls asleep,
which counts as abstaining.
230
00:09:25,738 --> 00:09:28,405
Abby will make her case,
you will make your case,
231
00:09:28,407 --> 00:09:31,575
during the entire process, we,
of course, will drink for free.
232
00:09:31,577 --> 00:09:34,011
- No, you don't.
- We get three free drinks.
233
00:09:34,013 --> 00:09:36,346
- No, you don't.
- We get one free drink.
234
00:09:36,348 --> 00:09:39,249
- You get zero drinks.
- Thank you.
235
00:09:40,619 --> 00:09:43,687
Simple majority vote wins.
Think you can handle it?
236
00:09:43,689 --> 00:09:46,423
Okay. For my new friends
James and Dale, anything.
237
00:09:46,425 --> 00:09:48,525
You know, I can be
very persuasive.
238
00:09:48,527 --> 00:09:51,194
I was an alternate on
my high school debate team.
239
00:09:51,196 --> 00:09:52,696
What does that mean?
240
00:09:52,698 --> 00:09:54,898
It means that when Jenny Lee
got pink-eye,
241
00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:57,067
ya boy placed
fourth in state.
242
00:09:57,069 --> 00:10:01,438
♪ ♪
243
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:03,774
Abby, I've got
a super simple way
244
00:10:03,776 --> 00:10:05,275
to handle this Bill situation.
245
00:10:05,277 --> 00:10:06,977
- All right, let's hear it.
- First,
246
00:10:06,979 --> 00:10:08,578
we steal his credit card
and go shopping.
247
00:10:08,580 --> 00:10:10,213
I buy this pair of boots
I've had my eyes on.
248
00:10:10,215 --> 00:10:11,782
You can get whatever you want.
Not the boots.
249
00:10:11,784 --> 00:10:14,584
Unless they look better on you,
which they probably will.
250
00:10:14,586 --> 00:10:17,120
Next thing you know,
Bill's credit score plummets.
251
00:10:17,122 --> 00:10:18,889
Then we begin Phase Two.
252
00:10:18,891 --> 00:10:20,624
How many phases are there?
253
00:10:20,626 --> 00:10:22,292
Nine.
254
00:10:23,495 --> 00:10:25,462
Okay, Fred.
Just hear me out.
255
00:10:25,464 --> 00:10:28,098
Have you ever tried sliding
into a nice pair
256
00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:30,067
of Birkenstocks
because that arch support alone
257
00:10:30,069 --> 00:10:31,335
is life changing.
258
00:10:31,337 --> 00:10:33,170
Look, Bill,
I've got flat feet,
259
00:10:33,172 --> 00:10:35,272
and I like 'em that way.
260
00:10:35,274 --> 00:10:38,675
And even if I didn't,
I vote with Abby always.
261
00:10:38,677 --> 00:10:41,578
James, you've been playing
both sides,
262
00:10:41,580 --> 00:10:43,513
and I know you want
to wear sandals.
263
00:10:43,515 --> 00:10:46,350
But enough is enough, okay?
Tell me you're with me.
264
00:10:46,352 --> 00:10:47,985
- I am with you.
- Great.
265
00:10:47,987 --> 00:10:51,254
Emotionally.
Voting wise, I'm with Bill.
266
00:10:51,256 --> 00:10:52,856
Come on, man.
267
00:10:52,858 --> 00:10:54,358
I thought we were friends.
268
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:56,827
We drink together,
we play Clue together.
269
00:10:56,829 --> 00:10:58,161
I've turned on Clue.
270
00:10:58,163 --> 00:10:59,463
It's a white person murder game
271
00:10:59,465 --> 00:11:03,467
that never ends in jail time.
272
00:11:03,469 --> 00:11:05,369
The only thing
we disagree on
273
00:11:05,371 --> 00:11:07,137
is American musical theater.
274
00:11:07,139 --> 00:11:09,840
I'm pro, she is con,
except for "Oklahoma!"
275
00:11:09,842 --> 00:11:12,009
which you would have
to be dead not to like.
276
00:11:12,011 --> 00:11:14,678
- You like musicals?
- Oh, yeah.
277
00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:16,680
Fred, did you know
that most jazz standards
278
00:11:16,682 --> 00:11:17,848
are from musicals?
279
00:11:17,850 --> 00:11:19,282
I mean, Pal Joey alone
has like--
280
00:11:19,284 --> 00:11:20,851
Bill. Really?
281
00:11:20,853 --> 00:11:23,720
Don't do this.
Don't ruin musicals for me.
282
00:11:23,722 --> 00:11:26,456
Also, why are you choosing
to die on this hill?
283
00:11:26,458 --> 00:11:28,658
Men's feet?
They're disgusting.
284
00:11:28,660 --> 00:11:31,294
I don't even look
at my own feet anymore, ever.
285
00:11:31,296 --> 00:11:33,530
What about when
you're in the shower?
286
00:11:33,532 --> 00:11:36,566
You want to ruin showers
for me too?
287
00:11:36,568 --> 00:11:39,836
James, how about
a little loyalty, huh?
288
00:11:41,974 --> 00:11:43,807
I'm sorry. I can't, Abby.
289
00:11:43,809 --> 00:11:45,542
We live in California.
290
00:11:45,544 --> 00:11:48,545
My feet want to drive
convertibles.
291
00:11:51,417 --> 00:11:54,751
Hey, Beth, uh, can I speak
to you for a moment?
292
00:11:54,753 --> 00:11:57,254
Ugh, I got two sips
of "chard" left. Be quick.
293
00:11:57,256 --> 00:11:59,222
Okay, I mean, we--we never
really had a chance
294
00:11:59,224 --> 00:12:00,991
to have a good one-on-one
chat, have we?
295
00:12:00,993 --> 00:12:03,026
One sip left
in the chamber, pal.
296
00:12:03,028 --> 00:12:05,495
Okay, um, um,
297
00:12:05,497 --> 00:12:07,397
how long have you lived
in this neighborhood?
298
00:12:07,399 --> 00:12:09,366
Uh, eight years
and there is no way
299
00:12:09,368 --> 00:12:11,368
I'm voting against Abby.
Okay, Beth.
300
00:12:11,370 --> 00:12:13,570
Surely you believe
in equality, right?
301
00:12:13,572 --> 00:12:15,872
I mean, it's--it's just
not fair that the women
302
00:12:15,874 --> 00:12:18,375
at the bar get to wear sandals
and the men don't.
303
00:12:18,377 --> 00:12:20,277
Huh. You're right, Bill.
304
00:12:20,279 --> 00:12:24,748
Women have had it too good
for too long.
305
00:12:24,750 --> 00:12:26,249
Okay, look.
306
00:12:26,251 --> 00:12:28,452
I was Abby's first
customer ever.
307
00:12:28,454 --> 00:12:30,620
All right, she's not just
a bartender to me.
308
00:12:30,622 --> 00:12:34,958
She's a friend, and she's
always been there for me.
309
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:37,594
Oh!
310
00:12:37,596 --> 00:12:40,197
Except when it comes to
these Satan balls.
311
00:12:40,199 --> 00:12:42,132
Why won't Abby deal with this?
312
00:12:42,134 --> 00:12:44,101
I ask for so little.
313
00:12:44,103 --> 00:12:45,735
You do seem very easygoing.
314
00:12:45,737 --> 00:12:48,238
I am.
315
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:51,775
Beth. Wait, wait, wait, Beth.
I own this property, okay?
316
00:12:51,777 --> 00:12:55,078
So if you vote with me, I can
take care of your tree problem.
317
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:56,913
What do you say,
a little, uh,
318
00:12:56,915 --> 00:12:58,748
"you scratch my back,
I scratch yours"?
319
00:12:58,750 --> 00:13:01,118
You touch my back, Bill,
I'll call the police.
320
00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,286
Whoa! What? No.
That's not--
321
00:13:03,288 --> 00:13:05,922
I get it.
You're a back guy, okay?
322
00:13:05,924 --> 00:13:08,959
But that's not for me, pal,
so keep cruising.
323
00:13:08,961 --> 00:13:11,628
♪ ♪
324
00:13:11,630 --> 00:13:15,132
Well, Bill, I'm sorry,
but it's just not gonna happen.
325
00:13:15,134 --> 00:13:16,600
The only person you have
is James,
326
00:13:16,602 --> 00:13:19,436
so that makes the vote
four to one.
327
00:13:19,438 --> 00:13:21,271
With Skip abstaining,
of course.
328
00:13:26,145 --> 00:13:28,945
Well, look at this.
329
00:13:31,917 --> 00:13:33,817
Oh, no. No--he's going
for the sock!
330
00:13:33,819 --> 00:13:34,985
No!
Ah!
331
00:13:34,987 --> 00:13:36,486
No--ah!
332
00:13:36,488 --> 00:13:38,321
Ack.
Now, hold on a second.
333
00:13:38,323 --> 00:13:40,524
That's a vote.
This counts as a vote.
334
00:13:40,526 --> 00:13:43,326
Skip has voted for sandals.
Skip is with me.
335
00:13:43,328 --> 00:13:45,462
Doesn't matter.
I still win four to two.
336
00:13:45,464 --> 00:13:48,532
Rule stays.
Oh. All right.
337
00:13:52,838 --> 00:13:54,838
Wait.
338
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:58,475
I'm changing my vote.
I'm with Bill.
339
00:14:00,279 --> 00:14:04,181
Oh, Beth,
when Abby murders you,
340
00:14:04,183 --> 00:14:06,283
can I have your Jacuzzi?
341
00:14:06,285 --> 00:14:08,618
♪ ♪
342
00:14:12,524 --> 00:14:14,824
in our midst, traitor
343
00:14:14,826 --> 00:14:16,359
we have a tie.
344
00:14:16,361 --> 00:14:19,029
The tiebreaker,
as outlined in Rule 47c,
345
00:14:19,031 --> 00:14:20,664
is a game of bocce ball.
346
00:14:20,666 --> 00:14:22,632
Hey, James,
does bocce ball require
347
00:14:22,634 --> 00:14:26,002
any hand-eye coordination
because, uh,
348
00:14:26,004 --> 00:14:28,305
I don't have that.
349
00:14:28,307 --> 00:14:29,839
I got you.
350
00:14:29,841 --> 00:14:32,042
This is the closest
we got to a rule change
351
00:14:32,044 --> 00:14:35,312
since George tried to change
the bar nut mix.
352
00:14:35,314 --> 00:14:36,846
Who's George?
353
00:14:36,848 --> 00:14:40,283
We don't talk about George.
354
00:14:40,285 --> 00:14:41,885
- Beth, what the hell?
- I know.
355
00:14:41,887 --> 00:14:43,787
But Bill said he would trim
your tree.
356
00:14:43,789 --> 00:14:47,724
Also, get this.
He's into backs.
357
00:14:48,660 --> 00:14:50,060
Well, that is juicy,
but right now
358
00:14:50,062 --> 00:14:52,162
we're talking about
how you're betraying me.
359
00:14:52,164 --> 00:14:53,663
This is not a betrayal.
360
00:14:53,665 --> 00:14:55,732
Your husband having sex
with you and giving you twins,
361
00:14:55,734 --> 00:14:57,734
that's a betrayal.
362
00:14:57,736 --> 00:14:59,836
Oh, so I guess it wouldn't
be a betrayal
363
00:14:59,838 --> 00:15:02,839
if I just removed chardonnay
from Two for Tuesdays.
364
00:15:02,841 --> 00:15:06,476
Oh, well. Fine.
Do it.
365
00:15:06,478 --> 00:15:08,745
Fine.
366
00:15:09,514 --> 00:15:13,183
Actually, I was bluffing.
I want the wine!
367
00:15:13,185 --> 00:15:16,219
I want Two on Tuesdays!
368
00:15:16,221 --> 00:15:18,855
All right, so bocce.
What's the deal here?
369
00:15:18,857 --> 00:15:20,724
Is there a hole I'm supposed
to get these in or what?
370
00:15:20,726 --> 00:15:22,892
Dude, are you serious?
It's bocce.
371
00:15:22,894 --> 00:15:26,563
I know they played this at
your country club growing up.
372
00:15:26,565 --> 00:15:27,998
How did you know
that I belonged
373
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,432
to a country club
growing up?
374
00:15:29,434 --> 00:15:31,167
Your body just looks
like it was raised
375
00:15:31,169 --> 00:15:33,003
on poolside chicken tenders.
376
00:15:35,007 --> 00:15:37,841
Now, just throw the ball,
and we'll do a practice round.
377
00:15:37,843 --> 00:15:39,709
Okay.
378
00:15:41,513 --> 00:15:43,780
Ju--Bill!
379
00:15:43,782 --> 00:15:45,448
You're supposed to
just roll the ball
380
00:15:45,450 --> 00:15:47,117
like 10 feet
down the court.
381
00:15:47,119 --> 00:15:49,019
Oh.
382
00:15:49,588 --> 00:15:51,421
I can't believe
this is happening.
383
00:15:51,423 --> 00:15:52,922
When Bill first showed up,
you promised me
384
00:15:52,924 --> 00:15:54,591
that I had nothing
to worry about.
385
00:15:54,593 --> 00:15:56,693
That I could trust him
not to ruin the place.
386
00:15:56,695 --> 00:15:59,963
Well, there he is,
ruining the place.
387
00:15:59,965 --> 00:16:02,465
Sarge, I think I know
what the problem is.
388
00:16:02,467 --> 00:16:03,800
Yeah, I just told you.
389
00:16:03,802 --> 00:16:06,236
Bill's turning everyone
against me.
390
00:16:06,238 --> 00:16:09,406
No, he's not turning everyone
against you.
391
00:16:09,408 --> 00:16:11,741
You're turning everyone
against you.
392
00:16:11,743 --> 00:16:13,310
Here's the deal.
393
00:16:13,312 --> 00:16:16,413
You're kind of a, um, "my way
or the highway" type person,
394
00:16:16,415 --> 00:16:19,549
and 95% of the time,
your way is great.
395
00:16:19,551 --> 00:16:21,384
It got us this bar,
this place that we love.
396
00:16:21,386 --> 00:16:24,087
Yeah, "my way or the highway"
is also why no one gets hit on
397
00:16:24,089 --> 00:16:27,057
by creepy dudes
in No Fear tank tops.
398
00:16:27,059 --> 00:16:29,092
Agreed.
399
00:16:29,094 --> 00:16:31,161
But 5% of the time,
400
00:16:31,163 --> 00:16:33,563
if you're not giving the people
what they need,
401
00:16:33,565 --> 00:16:35,999
they're gonna start looking
for an onramp.
402
00:16:36,001 --> 00:16:36,866
What?
403
00:16:36,868 --> 00:16:40,170
To the "highway"
that's not "your way."
404
00:16:40,172 --> 00:16:43,006
Whoa, James "needs"
to expose his feet
405
00:16:43,008 --> 00:16:45,241
and Beth "needs"
to ruin my yard?
406
00:16:45,243 --> 00:16:48,511
No, but they need to feel
that they're being listened to,
407
00:16:48,513 --> 00:16:50,246
and that their feelings matter
408
00:16:50,248 --> 00:16:52,649
even when they don't line up
exactly with yours.
409
00:16:52,651 --> 00:16:54,451
They're your friends, right?
410
00:16:54,453 --> 00:16:57,787
Sometimes you bend for friends.
411
00:16:57,789 --> 00:17:01,925
I guess that is a small
component of friendship.
412
00:17:01,927 --> 00:17:04,361
But I mean, that doesn't excuse
Bill trying to stage a coup.
413
00:17:04,363 --> 00:17:06,796
I mean, what could
that guy possible need?
414
00:17:06,798 --> 00:17:08,698
Well, let's think about it.
415
00:17:08,700 --> 00:17:10,166
He's going through
a divorce, right?
416
00:17:10,168 --> 00:17:12,369
Yeah, although, he has
such a cool personality.
417
00:17:12,371 --> 00:17:15,171
I can't imagine why.
418
00:17:15,173 --> 00:17:17,674
When I was going
through my divorce,
419
00:17:17,676 --> 00:17:19,509
I felt like a loser.
420
00:17:19,511 --> 00:17:22,712
I needed something, anything to
make me feel like a man again,
421
00:17:22,714 --> 00:17:24,881
and I wanted it so bad--
422
00:17:24,883 --> 00:17:27,016
one time, at my lowest,
I went to the bowling alley
423
00:17:27,018 --> 00:17:29,719
and I spent 60 bucks
on one of those claw games,
424
00:17:29,721 --> 00:17:33,890
until finally I pulled out
a Padres hat.
425
00:17:33,892 --> 00:17:37,460
As sad as that sounds,
it actually helped.
426
00:17:37,462 --> 00:17:39,662
I thought your head was
too big to wear hats.
427
00:17:39,664 --> 00:17:41,064
It is.
428
00:17:41,066 --> 00:17:44,667
If it doesn't have
a chin strap, it's game over.
429
00:17:44,669 --> 00:17:48,371
Point is that the win--the win
made me feel good.
430
00:17:48,373 --> 00:17:51,007
I don't think he's trying
to change this place.
431
00:17:51,009 --> 00:17:53,543
I think he wants
to belong here.
432
00:17:53,545 --> 00:17:55,412
The guy just needs a win.
433
00:17:55,414 --> 00:17:57,680
How do you even get
a bocce ball back here?
434
00:17:57,682 --> 00:18:00,250
I don't know!
Just help me get it out.
435
00:18:00,252 --> 00:18:02,886
♪ ♪
436
00:18:06,857 --> 00:18:08,590
You re-I mean..., Bill?
437
00:18:08,592 --> 00:18:10,426
Sure, it's not going to be much
of a game though.
438
00:18:10,428 --> 00:18:13,028
You're gonna crush me.
Oh, I wouldn't be so sure.
439
00:18:13,030 --> 00:18:15,264
Bocce's just as much luck
as it is skill.
440
00:18:15,266 --> 00:18:18,200
It could be anybody's game.
You think?
441
00:18:18,202 --> 00:18:20,502
Yeah, sure.
You could totally win this.
442
00:18:20,504 --> 00:18:23,672
Abby crushes Bill, 21 to 0.
443
00:18:27,011 --> 00:18:29,111
Uh, did you not hear me?
444
00:18:29,113 --> 00:18:31,447
Or did my story
about giving Bill a win
445
00:18:31,449 --> 00:18:33,048
confuse you in some way?
446
00:18:33,050 --> 00:18:35,884
Oh, I got it, but I wasn't
gonna blow my bocce record.
447
00:18:35,886 --> 00:18:37,186
I'm 81 and 0.
448
00:18:37,188 --> 00:18:39,321
But don't worry.
He's got a win coming.
449
00:18:39,323 --> 00:18:42,458
Okay, Skip's shoe
isn't going back on.
450
00:18:42,460 --> 00:18:44,827
Uh...
451
00:18:44,829 --> 00:18:46,862
I say we just wrap his foot
in newspaper
452
00:18:46,864 --> 00:18:49,064
and send him on his way.
453
00:18:49,066 --> 00:18:51,500
Okay, people,
I have an announcement.
454
00:18:51,502 --> 00:18:55,637
James is no longer the
all-time leading bocce dunce.
455
00:18:55,639 --> 00:18:57,973
Wha--James, why did you
volunteer to coach me
456
00:18:57,975 --> 00:18:59,908
if you're terrible at bocce?
457
00:18:59,910 --> 00:19:03,479
They say those
that can't do, teach.
458
00:19:03,481 --> 00:19:06,849
Is it possible
that you can't do or teach?
459
00:19:06,851 --> 00:19:10,052
That's possible, yeah.
460
00:19:10,054 --> 00:19:13,522
Because Bill scored
a whopping 0 points
461
00:19:13,524 --> 00:19:16,725
he now claims the top spot.
Hey.
462
00:19:18,262 --> 00:19:20,729
- Good job.
- Why are people clapping?
463
00:19:20,731 --> 00:19:22,164
This is huge.
It's been James
464
00:19:22,166 --> 00:19:24,500
for two whole years.
Quite a feat, Bill.
465
00:19:24,502 --> 00:19:26,835
I've never heard of anybody
not scoring any points.
466
00:19:26,837 --> 00:19:30,172
It's really difficult to do.
467
00:19:30,174 --> 00:19:32,374
Phil one time brought
his toddler in here,
468
00:19:32,376 --> 00:19:36,278
and the child scored
three points accidentally.
469
00:19:37,681 --> 00:19:40,682
Congratulations, Bill.
You have won the commemorative
470
00:19:40,684 --> 00:19:42,184
Bocce Dunce Hat.
Nice.
471
00:19:42,186 --> 00:19:44,353
Treat it with respect.
472
00:19:47,024 --> 00:19:49,858
You look like
a racist traffic cone.
473
00:19:49,860 --> 00:19:51,460
Okay.
474
00:19:51,462 --> 00:19:53,195
So, I'm sorry.
475
00:19:53,197 --> 00:19:54,696
I probably shouldn't have
shut you down
476
00:19:54,698 --> 00:19:55,898
so hard about the tree.
477
00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:57,399
Eh, it's okay.
478
00:19:57,401 --> 00:19:59,535
I told Bill it was gonna cost
400 bucks
479
00:19:59,537 --> 00:20:03,805
to get 'em trimmed,
but it'll be more like 250.
480
00:20:04,742 --> 00:20:06,975
You know, I could probably
just do it with my chainsaw.
481
00:20:06,977 --> 00:20:08,477
Then you could keep
all of the money.
482
00:20:08,479 --> 00:20:10,245
Wha--oh.
483
00:20:10,247 --> 00:20:12,614
You're gonna make me cry.
484
00:20:14,418 --> 00:20:16,952
Hey, bocce dunce.
Let me buy you a drink.
485
00:20:16,954 --> 00:20:18,887
Oh, no, thanks.
I've already had one,
486
00:20:18,889 --> 00:20:22,724
so I'm pretty buzzed.
487
00:20:22,726 --> 00:20:24,326
Dude,
you're like 7 feet tall.
488
00:20:24,328 --> 00:20:27,729
You could take one more.
Rosie, shots.
489
00:20:27,731 --> 00:20:29,431
Whoa, no, no, no.
That's okay, Rosie.
490
00:20:29,433 --> 00:20:32,401
Uh, it's tradition.
The dunce has to drink.
491
00:20:32,403 --> 00:20:34,336
And so do
the dunce's friends.
492
00:20:34,338 --> 00:20:36,271
Don't make it weird.
493
00:20:36,273 --> 00:20:37,773
Okay.
494
00:20:37,775 --> 00:20:39,575
Hey.
495
00:20:40,911 --> 00:20:42,578
Oh.
496
00:20:47,151 --> 00:20:48,951
Listen, James, I'm really
sorry I couldn't make
497
00:20:48,953 --> 00:20:50,786
that rule change happen.
498
00:20:50,788 --> 00:20:52,521
It's okay.
We're bonded now.
499
00:20:52,523 --> 00:20:55,090
Part of the underground men's
sa
500
00:20:56,994 --> 00:21:00,796
Hey, James, so going forward,
501
00:21:00,798 --> 00:21:03,732
on Two for Tuesdays,
502
00:21:03,734 --> 00:21:07,469
you can wear your sandals.
503
00:21:07,471 --> 00:21:09,438
What about Dale?
504
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:10,839
I don't want
to see Dale's feet.
505
00:21:10,841 --> 00:21:12,094
Yeah, me neither.
506
00:21:12,096 --> 00:21:15,611
Two of his toes don't
even got nails.
507
00:21:15,613 --> 00:21:17,646
♪ ♪
37705
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