All language subtitles for Star Trek Lower Decks S05E03

Captain's Log, star date 59393.7.

Today, theCerritos is docked
at theCosmic Duchess,

an interstellar cruise ship
the size of a moon.

With a multitude of climate
zones, theme parks and casinos,

there's something for everyone.
However, we are not here to relax.

A nanite cluster has
infested the resort,

consuming metal
to self-replicate.

Starfleet has ordered us here
to humanely capture

and study the microscopic robots.
Ooh, we're doing pest control? Fun!

Wow, I've never seen anyone
happier to chase

an unpredictable robot clump
through a bunch of ducts.

It's great to have
you back, Tendi.

I echo Mr. Rutherford's enthusiasm.
Despite the increase in cheering,

your presence is a comfort.
Ooh, the Duchessis amazing.

One of the space casinos has a
bunch of Dixon Hill slot machines.

24024-hour spas, an indoor water
park, and an underwater dry park?

I don't even know what that
is, but I'm gonna find the out.

Ooh, this is gonna be awesome.

As soon as we clean up
those nanites, I'm gonna...

Sorry, Mr. Boimler, but you
and I have a little side quest

we need to take care of. Ew,
don't wink. Winking's gross.

Not when I pair it with
my signature smirk. Worse.

Enjoy your mission
with the big boys.

Shut up. It's great, though,
right? I'm so excited.

It's nice to finally have

a straightforward, simple mission
with no drama or... Babe, wait up.

Mwah. You weren't about to leave
your girlfriend behind, were you?

My what?

Whoa. Um, what's with
the civilian shuttle, sir?

You, me and Bill ups are going
on a little undercover mission.

Cool. I love spy stuff. Do we
get to wear the black body suits?

Better. As of now, we're just
a trio of vacation bros.

Call me Zack Ransom.
And I'm Gilbert Manhandle,

literary dilettante
with a gambling addiction.

Nobody's going to remember that.
You can be Zandy Bill ups.

Fine. But I'm still
a gambling addict.

Whoa, Jet, what happened to
you? Commander Ransom did.

What do you mean? Just went on
a mission and lost both my hands.

Hurts like hell, and I can't scratch
my nose. My God, that's horrible.

Doctor T's going to grow me a new
set, but Ransom's bad, man. Real bad.

What do you mean? The whole
mission, he kept making me

do the dangerous stuff.
I got ordered to lift a rock

and, like, 50 piranha bats
flew out. Bye-bye, hands.

He uses guys like us
as canaries in coal mines.

Better we get our hands eaten
than him.

Let's get a move on,
Mr. Boimler.

Admiral Milius is AWOL, came down
with a touch of vacation madness.

In his last communication
with Starfleet Command,

he told them to shove a coconut up
their butt. So, why do you need me?

I've never been on a
spy mission. Don't worry,

you're exactly what I need. I
really want to be Gilbert Manhandle.

No. You gotta be
something normal, like Zandy.

Mariner, I find it odd

that you have never mentioned
that you have a girlfriend.

I-I don't. Jennifer and I
broke up, like, forever ago.

Are you sure you broke up?

Yes! You know, actually,
okay, now I'm remembering,

she dumped me.
She gave me back a candle.

Babe, get over here.
You're going to love this.

She does not appear
to share your assessment.

There's some ionic residue
on this lamp.

- Glumpus was here for sure.
- Glumpus?

I decided to give the nanites a
name, since they glump so much.

Aw, cute. Scans indicate - the cluster...
- Glumpus!

Sorry, the "Glumpus" consumed
this cart's electrical system.

It appears to be harvesting
material and power for self-replication.

Which means we can use
an energy cell to lure it in.

Be right back. Mwah.

She totally thinks we're
still together. This is nuts.

Perhaps she has
a brain parasite.

- Yes.
- I already scanned for that, she's clear.

I'm so happy to be
back scanning.

How did it go when you came
back to the Cerritos?

I couldn't have been any
clearer. Okay, h-here's how it went:

I saw her in the bar,
and instead of talking,

I just walked
right past her. So...

But you said,
"We need to break up," right?

Of course I did. With silence.
My God, we never fully broke up.

I just assumed
it was clear.

W-We haven't said a word
to each other in, like, forever.

Assumptions are anathema
to communication.

You're anathema.
Fine, all right, I messed up.

I guess I'll go
break her stupid heart

since that's what
you all seem to want.

Hey, Jennifer...
Sorry I ran off.

I just had this great idea
for how to catch the Glumpus.

It'll do wonders
for my transfer application.

I just wanted to...
Wait, what transfer?

I wasn't sure
how to tell you.

I was offered a promotion
to the Manitoba.

This is my final mission with
the Cerritos. Thank God. I mean...

What? Babe...

I know it means
the end of Jariner,

- but I couldn't turn it down.
- Jariner?

There's a bunch of Andorians
on the 'Toba.

It's a perfect spot
for me to advance,

as long as nothing
goes wrong on this mission.

I'm really happy for you, babe.

Now, let's just focus on having
a great last day together.

Aww, thanks, babe. I love
how well we talk things out.

Ha. That's us. Just a couple
of chatty chatter sons.

- Well, how did she take it?
- She didn't have to.

Lucky for me, the whole thing
just kinda worked itself out.

I'll be avoiding a messy,
emotional conversation once again.

Now, let's catch
ourselves a Glumpus.

No need for that.
The sun here is artificial.

It knows when you've
been sufficiently tanned.

You know, just trying
to be extra safe today.

You know me, all about safety.

Admiral Milius charged a few
hundred Salurian Coladas

to a tab at this bar. We should
split up, see if anybody saw him.

Mr. Boimler, why don't you
ask those Gallamites?

Okay... How about
I go talk to those,

very friendly-looking guys
instead? Kreetassans?

Love the initiative, Boimler.

Hey there, fellas. I'm just an
average vacationer, like you.

I love leisure, et cetera.

How dare you drink
in front of us!

Is, alcohol frowned upon in your
culture? That does it, you pervert.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. My
bro is ignorant of your ways.

He did not mean to offend.
I'm so sorry you had to see that.

Filthy. What a filthy little
man. It's gonna be okay.

Kreetassans consider eating
to be more intimate than mating.

I thought you knew that. I do. I'm
sorry. I guess my mind's just been

on other things.
Apparently, one of Milius's

acolytes spends a lot of time

at the top of that huge,
dangerous mountain.

Better get climbing.

If we just put
this energy cell here,

the Glumpus should be drawn
right to it. I'm not so sure about this.

We don't really know how Glumpus
processes energy...

Just give her a win.
That is a great plan, sweetie.

Curious. Don't waste those
big Vulcan brain juices, T'Lyn.

He's just a novelty beach crooner.
Krog is my favorite musician. Sorry.

I-I've heard he's very, tropical.
He is a master of the Vibe Tubes.

Babe, babe, babe, look.
It's working.

- Dang it.
- Hey, that was close.

You know, w-we could try
phase ring the energy cell.

Get it charged up so it's more
enticing. That's a little dangerous.

Why-why don't we just wait
carefully until it comes back?

I'm fine with that. Just means
more time to spend cuddling up

with my snuggle fluff. Nope,
nope. No time. Let's boost it.

All right. Let's scoop up this
bad boy so we can get out of here.

Why do you sound so eager to end
our final mission together?

I mean, I just... I... I have,
I have, like, a ton of work.

Looks like we're not done yet.

I think I see our target. She's a
Denobulan, right, Zandy? Zandy?

Gilbert? Yup. That's her.

If we want to get invited
to Milius's compound,

she's the one to talk to. Looks
like she's about to hit the slopes.

See if you can get in good
with her, Mr. Boimler.

Okay, yeah, there are a lot of
kids on that hill. I can handle this.

See you at the bottom, brahs.
This canary is about to fly. Boy.

- Easy does it.
- Canary?

It's hard to think of an animal
that's good at skiing.

Wa-cha!

Wait, wait, wait, wait. H-H... How
do you make the gravity stop? Whoa!

- Get off me!
- It's my first time.

Please just help me get down
the hill. You're grabbing my genitals!

- Why are they on your back?
- Where else would they be?!

Wow, I've never seen someone
go off that cliff and live.

Yeah.
Guess I'm lucky that Starfleet

keeps me in space most of the
time. My bones aren't very dense, so...

You're Starfleet?
Admiral. Starfleet is here.

You have to get out
of there fast.

Damn it. What the hell
was that, Mr. Boimler?

Well, I was able
to trace the comm.

At least we've got
the Admiral's location.

Yeah, but now
he knows we're coming.

Next time, try to have a little
fortitude in the face of danger.

Whoa!

We need to split up.

Jennifer, T'Lyn, Rutherford,
you check the balcony.

- Tendi and I...
- You're splitting us up?

My sweet, loving girlfriend
and I will take the balcony.

The rest of you, check the orchestra.
Are you trying to get rid of me?

No. I'm just trying
to find this Glumpus

so you don't jeopardize
your transfer.

Wow. That's so thoughtful of
you. Thank you so much. J-Jennifer.

This is bananas. How can she
possibly think we're a couple?

Perhaps because you are
pretending to be. I mean before today.

Everyone's relationships
look different in Starfleet.

We're always on away missions,
or separate shifts,

or getting transformed
into things.

Was she on that team
that got turned into crystals?

I don't know. We never talk.

It seems like she's just trying to
make it work. Like your parents do.

Yeah. God. You're right.
Damn it. Jennifer, wait up.

This lazy river seems like
it's getting pretty choppy.

Bill ups, how much
farther to the compound?

At our meandering speed, 15
minutes? That cave is not looking lazy.

Could be a trap. Mr. Boimler,
head in there and report.

You just said
it could be a trap.

I'm trying to give you a win here,
brah. I am not your brah, okay?

Shh. Guys. We might want
to keep our voices down.

And I'm not your coal mine
canary, either! I am a good officer!

Okay, maybe not
the best officer.

Maybe we can
incapacitate Glumpus

with a localized electromagnetic
pulse. Maybe a magnetic net?

A magnetic net may be difficult
to obtain. Perhaps we...

T'Lyn? What's wrong?
Krog's Vibe Tubes.

This must be where
he's playing tonight.

I am having difficulties
maintaining my focus

in anticipation
of Krog's propinquity.

Ooh, we should all go, if his
instruments don't get eaten. Are you sure

this is the best place
to be looking for nanites, babe?

It's attracted to energy,
sweetie. Yes. I know, honey.

Your stupid plan just made it huge,
remember? Are you kidding me?

You're the one who phase red
the power cell. To make you happy.

Are you sure
there isn't anything

you want to get off your chest,
my love?

I just want you
to get your transfer.

- Isn't that what you want?
- What I want

is for you to admit that
you're... Don't move. What?

It's a... one, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

- Icosahedron!
- My God. Run!

No, no, no, no! That
thing just ate our friends.

Congrats on being hostages
in AWOL Falls.

"An ideal place
to hide from Command."

- Can I get you a refreshment?
- Maybe a spritz?

You can't hold us here
forever.

The Admiral has
requested a private audience.

Guys, tell him I'm not the canary.
He's not the canary, you monsters!

- What does that even mean?
- I don't know.

Okay, look, before you hurt me,

just know that I'm too frail
to torture.

Too much pain and I'll just die.
You're-you're gonna be disappointed.

Lieutenant Junior Grade
Bradward Boimler.

I've been watching you all
day. You're grabbing my genitals!

You knew we were coming?
I'm a Latinum Elite Guest.

The front desk calls whenever
a Starfleet team shows up

to try and capture me. But
an idea can't be captured.

I'm pretty sure we can capture you.
You know, 'cause you're just a guy

wearing open-toed sandals.
I'm more than just "a guy"!

You and I are cut from the
same cloth. You're an admiral.

That doesn't matter.
They don't care about us.

We've been thrown to the wolves
by our superiors.

Is that why you went AWOL?
Command gave you dangerous missions?

Worse. They gave me boring
ones. I spent years in Starfleet

hoping to land
a meaningful, prestigious post,

to study rare phenomena,
to discover new life.

But do you know what insufferable
missions my ships were given?

Borg stuff? The milking of space
whales! W-What kind? The Gormagander

or those Galaxy's
Child things? All of them!

I dedicated my life to Starfleet

and was relegated
to an interstellar dairy farmer!

No matter how far up
the ladder you climb,

there's always someone higher
up, pouring hot garbage down on us.

But you're an admiral.
Who was doing that to you?

The system. The dream
assignments never come,

which hurts me just as much as
you are by being thrown into danger.

You want peace, safety and
extended happy hour on Mondays?

Then go AWOL with me.

Happy hour does sound happy.

Hang on, guys. We're coming.
Stay calm. Conserve oxygen.

I can't believe we're gonna get
killed by a goddamn icosahedron.

This is all my fault. I'm the
one who set that stupid trap.

Yeah, but I encouraged you
to juice it up

'cause I wanted this
day to end. Here we go.

Jennifer, we aren't a couple.
We broke up a year ago.

- Yeah, I know.
- Wait, what? You do?

But the-the babe-ing
and the kissing and the...

- I was with you.
- Wha... Why? Because we never officially broke up,

and I wanted you to admit it.

No, well... I-I mean,
we didn't have some, like,

big, emotional,
performative talk about it,

but I think it was pretty clear.

Yeah, it was all
on your terms, though.

You didn't give me
a chance to apologize.

You just phased me out.
It sucked.

I was getting shipped off
to Starbase 80.

Everyone thought
I was a traitor. Even my mom.

I needed you to have my back
when nobody else did.

I only liked dating you
because of how bad you were.

It didn't even occur to me
that you might've been innocent.

Yeah, I-I guess I could be
pretty bad. We both could. Clearly.

Okay, then. Jennifer, I'm
officially breaking up with you.

I officially accept.

Mariner, do you read? I'm in the
Glumpus. Ruthie. Are you okay?

I just detected a signal
that's controlling the nanites

from in here with me.

If you can disrupt it, it should
be able to deactivate the swarm.

- But it absorbs energy.
- Wait.

Do you think you can trust me,
one last time?

Boimler, listen to me. We didn't
bring you with us to be expendable.

We brought you because you're
reliable and smart. Plus, you're wiry.

- And we always need a wiry guy.
- Really?

Yeah, I mean,
on the frail scale,

nobody else on the Cerritos
comes close.

You didn't want me
as a human shield?

No. You're good at problem-solving
and you can crawl through ducts.

And that's, like, 99%
of most undercover ops.

I was trying to give you a chance
to show us how brave you are.

In hindsight, that probably
came off as pretty cruel.

They're lying to you,
Mr. Boimler.

Why did he throw you
into danger all day?

Because I knew he could handle it.
You're a capable, prepared officer.

Extremely prepared, to an
unhealthy degree. You noticed. Well.

Sorry, Commander. Looks like
Mr. Boimler's made his decision.

You're damn right
I have. Stop him!

He's too greasy and wiry.

- It's like trying to grab a string bean.
- Whoo!

Ha, ha!

Are you sure this'll work?
Nope, but we're out of time.

Jump!

We need to disrupt the
signal. That's still the plan.

Hit it, T'lyn.

It's working. Keep vibing.

Quickly, my acolytes,
it's almost happy hour.

I must escape to the Diamond
Lounge. Throw yourselves at them.

Sacrifice your very lives! That's
not really the vibe we're here for.

Yeah, I should probably
be getting back.

My wife thinks I'm at the buffet.
No. You can't force me to return.

I'll be put in charge of a fleet

that's stationed at Starbase 80
or something.

Sorry, brah, but the vacation's
over. And I still have my hands.

Both of them.

You are Krog on the Rocks. That
is correct. And you are a Vulcan.

I apologize for playing your
Vibe Tubes. It was presumptuous.

That is illogical. You have
saved my life. You practice logic?

In my ongoing quest
for inner chill,

I have become an adoptee
of Vulcan meditative practices.

I am a big fan of your
work. And I of yours.

- Yeah.
- Well, even though we weren't

a great couple, I guess we
make a decent team. I guess so.

I'm sorry I made you sit on
your feelings for a whole year.

I really went out of my way
to avoid a direct conversation?

Look, you're talking
to someone who pretended

to still be in a relationship
to trick her ex

into fully breaking up
with her. I'm sorry, too.

We really are sort of chaotic.
That's why we were fun.

Whoa, check this out. The
nanites weren't acting independently.

- What does that mean?
- That signal. They were being controlled

by a single, microscopic ship.
Wait, is that an Intrepid-class?

They're hailing us.
Starfleet, thank God.

This is Captain Tersal of theEndeavor.
Our ship was pulled through

some sort of parallel universe
fissure.

We've been through a
month of hell. A month?

Captain's Log, supplemental.
A routine nanite relocation

has unexpectedly become
a rescue mission.

A Federation starship
from a dimension

of a much smaller scale
was stranded in ours.

Their attempts at gathering
power and materials

to create
their own dimensional gate

appeared to us
as a destructive swarm.

Thank you again for providing us
with safe harbor, Captain Freeman.

I just wish we were able to devise
a way to send you back home.

We've encountered a fissure
similar to the one

that pulled you here,
but we can't recreate it.

I appreciate the effort. Perhaps
we're doomed to live out our days

the size of an amoeba. Well,
we might not have the resources,

but Mr. Boimler here was able to
pull some strings with an admiral.

I'll be canceling
all previous missions

and focusing solely on getting
you home, Captain Tersal.

Admiral Milius?
You exist in my dimension, too.

But there, you just milk whales.
Yes, well, that's not the case here.

T'Lyn, I got you something. It appears
someone has defaced this image.

What? No, it's Krog's autograph.
It holds no scientific value.

I guess I can recycle it. I
should keep it in my quarters,

in case I need to study
handwriting in the future.

Hey. 'Bout to head off to the
Manitoba. I'm glad we finally talked.

Yeah, last time
when I was leaving,

neither of us handled it very well.
Good luck at the new gig, babe.

Thanks, babe.
This is the first time

I haven't been mortal
enemies with an ex. Exciting.

I'm proud of you, Mariner. Sounds
like you had a tough conversation.

Sure, I mean it took a giant,
destructive ball of nanites

to get me there, but still.
- It counts. - So, Milius agreed

to help the micro-ship get back
home? Yep. He even showered.

I managed to show a full-blown
admiral how rewarding Starfleet can be.

How cool is that?
Great work, Lieutenant.

I told you, always good to
have a wiry guy. Thank you, sir.

Have you seen Ensign Manhaver?
We're going to a lava planet

to try and wrangle
some crystalline spiders.

He loves dangerous stuff.
Figured he'd want in.

There he is, behind the
bar. He sees you, Jet. Run!

Hey, get back here. This is gonna
be fun. There's gonna be magma.

I just got these hands!

Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

Chirp.