All language subtitles for Carsick.2025.720p.WEB.H264-JFF

# Oh Oooh it's Christmas

# getting cozy all up in
this blanket #

# just hanging the garlands #

# wrapping the presents #

# watching the fire #

# the one that I want #

# is finally here #

# let's put up the star #

# oh it's Christmas #

# and I miss this #

# so come and hold me tight #

# all your kisses #

# match my wish list #

# it won't be a silent night #

# It's Christmas time
with my baby #

# oh Santa I've been
so patient #

# I've gotten to go #

# open up at your home #

# I'm never alone #

# was waiting for you #

# to come on back too and... #

You are listening to

by Five O'Clock Charlie

We've got more Christmas cheers

after a brief word from our
sponsor.

Stop it!

I grew up in a really big old
house.

It's a beautiful house.

It had a lot of problems.

Chief among them were mice.

Not a lot, but a decent amount.

My sisters

despite all being vegetarian,

couldn't stand the mice

Screaming

at all hours of the night

demanding we do something about
it.

Now, my sister, closest to me in
age.

Lyda.

She was never one to complain
without doing anything.

So she asked me what to do.

I told her we needed mouse traps

and she came back with 20 traps.

Used all her allowance to get
them.

Only she didn't get the right
ones.

She got the glue traps.

Not the old school snap ones

that kill the mouse instantly.

See, the glue traps

They merely trap the poor
animal.

Kill them slowly.

They either starve to death or

break their own legs trying
to get off the trap.

Some mice have even eaten
off their own limbs.

So strong is their will to
survive.

I warned Lyda about
the traps but

she didn't want to go back
to the store, so

So she set them all out

around the house and we went to
bed.

Middle of the night

I woke up to a screeching sound
coming from the kitchen.

I got downstairs,

I saw Lydia

crying,

crying, staring at something..

When I got closer,

I saw a little mouse

desperately trying to get itself
off the trap.

Now, Lyda begged me

to help the mouse

to set it free,

but I told her

that wasn't possible.

Once it's been stuck,

that's it.

The only thing she could do to
help

was to decide

how long it suffered.

What do you mean?

Well,

she could leave it as is.

Try and sleep through the
animal's cries of pain

as it died slowly.

Or

She could do the humane thing,

put it out of its misery.

Kill it.

My method was to

put it in a trash bag

hit it with a cast iron skillet.

You did it for her.

I didn't mind doing it the first
time.

She was scared.

She'd never had to deal
with anything like this.

But...

you better believe

the second time

I heard the screech.

I stayed in bed.

The only way a person can
ever fully learn something

is to do it themselves.

When Lyda...
Have you ever been to Antartica?

What makes you think
my story was done?

I was done hearing it.

You know, I can tell long boring
stories, too, if I wanted.

It isn't nice to cut
people off.

- Deal with it.
- Izzy stop!

You should listen to your friend
Izzy�

Isabella and I do what I want,
thank you.

Is anyone else hungry?

Can we stop for food?

Is that allowed?

Why are you asking us?

I don't know where we are.

The last time you were
in was called Lowville.

We should probably get out
before then.

Are you eager to get
out?

Will you leave her alone?

I don't think we ever got your
name.

Janus

Yah-noos? Is that Spanish.

Greek?

Does it mean anything?

I think my name is just a month.

Janus is a Roman God.

Ha! Of course it is!

Janus is the God of
gateways and beginnings.

Janus is the God of
gateways and beginnings.

My name is a month also.

January.

Wow! You two have so much
in common!

Jealous?

You'd like that?

Stop!

Stop what?

Look at him, he's a big boy.
He can handle himself.

May

- If you don't like what's going on...
- Stop talking to her!

You can stop it.
You have control.

Stop talking to her like
she's your friend!

I can pull over the car,
I'll get rid of Izzy

- And we'll go together...
- You're not taking her

Look at her, does she look like
she wants to go anywhere with you?

Stop trying to make us
turn on each other!

I'm not making her do
anything!

She looks like you're
giving her a seizure!

What I thing May needs us to do...
I knew it!

I had the feeling when I
first laid eyes on you

I think what May needs us to do
..that you would be the biggest

pain in the ass in the world -
Stop!

You are the one with the gun May,
hmm?

You make the decisions, not her.

No.

We make the decisions.

Izzy and I are a team.

But you're not.

Hmm?

I can tell.

You don't want to do
this.

I have a niece

- She watches your show incessantly -
Stop!

May?

Help me untie my legs.

May help me untie my legs.

And me and you can go to
the cops and tell them

You don't have to escalate things
because she's obsessed with murder.

I'm not.

I can't get out of this without you.
Hey!

Do you really think that
I am an unwilling participant?

Izzy and I both have our parts.

Mine just hasn't started yet.

You were right!
I told you!

You made a big mistake
rushing my part!

Your part?

Are you still hungry?

We can't look well fed
when they find us.

Find us?

Did you call the cops?

Yes we called the co..

but once the truth comes out,
you're probably going to jail.

Sure!

Your show is stupid, by the way.

Ouch!

Who wants to watch two idiots

put on makeup and talk about
murder.

Apparently, a lot of people.

1.1 million, to be exact.

It's not just makeup and murder.

Don't forget Cookie Corner.

I watched one with my niece.

That was 30 minutes of you
putting on makeup

while eating breakfast.

I'm May Marigold

And I'm Isabella Laningham

and this is Murder She Cooked!

30 minutes

before either of you spoke.

People nowadays are too
affraid of silence.

Don't try and make what you do
sound intelligent.

Just because you don't get
it

doesn't diminish the value of
it.

Art is up to the interpreter.

What you do is not art.

And what makes you the arbiter
of what..

The arbiter...

Only saw one episode, huh?

How is it what we do different
than performance art?

Maybe it's because... we're on
the internet!

Nothing wrong with embracing
technology.

What you do is trash.

Everything about people
like you is garbage.

In fact I think what you do

it's what's wrong with
western civilization.

Oh huh!

You are definitely more
familiar than 1 ep..

We are what's wrong with
western civilization?

Like he's written a
dissertation on us!

I don't waste my time
on people like you.

Like what?

Talentless fame-seekers

who feel the need to document

every single minute

of their pointless, meaningless
existence.

It seems to me,

from our limited interactions
with one another

that you are the kind of human
being

who loooves to hear himself
speak.

My guess: He's a teacher.

Hmm, but he's too verbose

to teach younger kids.

- High school?
- College.

Some sort of subject

where he gets to give

long boring lectures

about mice on glue traps.

Maybe ones about
social media

and it's impact on the modern
world.

The Power of Social Media

So how about it?

Are we close?

We must be close.

Look at how touchy he's being.

I bet he's the kind o..

That flirts with his students.

I'm sure you say to yourself

it hasn't been that long
since I was in college.

I bet I still look the same.

You bet wrong.

We're probably the same age.

Not spiritually.

Jesus!

You two coat yourselves

in 20 Ibs of makeup every day

and make cookies on an
internet show for living

and you have the nerve
to come at me

for hypothetically flirting
with my students

who are at most, what?

16 years younger than me?

16 years?

Probably how old his
baby niece is.

Fuck you!

Huh?

Don't be mad at us.

Be mad at your Freudian weak
brain

that's forcing an Electra
complex with your niece.

Stop saying things like that

about my 11 year old niece.

Now what?

What?

We'd have to be as stupid as
you think we are not to notice.

Notice what?

- You know us.
- Like, really know us.

No, I told you..
- My question is

What do we do with him now?

Oh! You mean, hmm...

how do we kill him?

Oh my God,

please don't kill me!

We have to make it
big and dramatic!

Display him somewhere where
lots of people can see him.

Please!..Please!

Oh, well, gee. Now I don't know.

Maybe we shouldn't.

He did say please.

I love a man with manners.

Maybe we just play it by ear.

We could... flip a coin.

Heads we kill him

tails we don't?

It has to be more dramatic than
that.

You got a coin?

Oh! Here's one on the
floor!

Huh... You can do it?

Tails.

Emotionally or physically?

Why limit ourselves?

So is this what you do?

Hmm?

You go around killing
innocent people?

I think you're playing fast and
loose with the word innocent.

When it comes to
you two, I am.

I've never done anything to
either of you

ever in my life.

Lying, again!

I'm sure you've hurt people.

You know, my instant dislike
of you Janus

isn't just the fact that you
delude yourself into thinking

that you are better than us.

It's the fact that after we've
proven

unimpeachable evidence of
your own mediocrity

you still feel deep down
inside superior.

Maybe I do.

But why do you care?

Hmm?

Why me?

When there are people
who actively hate you.

People who troll your
comment boards and

write nasty think pieces
on you on twitter.

I nothing you.

The only reason I know you
exist is because of my niece.

You on Twitter, janus?

For my job, yes.

Huh.

It's interesting to me a man
who abhors social media

as much as you would be on it.

We all have to make a living.

That's right.

We do.

I wanna get back to the student
fucking for a moment.

I've never fucked my students!

Sure, sure, sure.

But let's say big huge
Janus over here

starts to hit on little
5 foot nothing Kimberly.

- Your typical pocket blonde.
- Maybe 100 Ibs soaking wet.

Just moved her from Oklahoma

or some sort of stupid
mid west place like that.

She wants to be a dancer some
day!

Or a contestant on

The Bachelor!

Anyway,

she's failing your class and

she comes to you begging
for some sort of extra credit

so that way she doesn't
get kicked out of school

- and have to move home to Omaha
- Oklahoma

Whatever!

And instead of extra credit

you try to offer another kind of
deal.

Some sort of sexual quid pro
quo.

Our little Kimberly really doesn't
want to do a thing like that

with an ape like you!

But...

she's in your office after
hours.

You're a big intimidating man

and she's an itty bitty little
girl.

I'm sure you say to yourself

she could have left if
she was uncomfortable.

I didn't force her to do
anything.

Do you think I'm somebody else?

Well you did!

You put that girls in a position
where she..

And she couldn't get away.

If that's not rape
I don't know what is.

I've never raped anyone!

You sound very defensive for
some who's completely innocent.

You're both fucking crazy!

Calling women crazy!

Next he's gonna ask if
we're on our period.

Stop.

Stop being hysterical women.

Being hysterical women.

You're not dealing with
pocket blonde Kimberly.

May and I aren't tiny little
women who are scared of you.

You have me all wrong.

I..I don't intimidate people.

I don't want women
to be scared of me.

because you're super
woke, huh?

Janny likes to think of
himself as an ally.

Probably has one of those frames
on his Facebook profile

that says I Stand With Women�

Your face!

I need to get home.

Now you're in a rush.

My girlfriend is waiting for me.

You don't have a girlfriend.

Yes I do.

One blow job from Kimberly
does not make her your..

Stop saying that!

Why were you so eager to
pick up two absolute strangers

in that dinner, if you had a
girlfriend to get home to.

Being a nice person?

Was it because we were
too pretty girls?

We're no Kimberly but
I think we're cute.

Who smiled and flirted with you?

...I did it because

I recognized you.

I wanted to be nice.

- You wanted to get into panties
- Actually...

- You wanted to get into panties
- Actually...

I was hoping you'd sign
something for my niece.

My money's on you May.

'cause I remind him of Lyda.

Jesus!

Just a feeling

Maybe it's the way he tried to..

Not a bad point but an
arrogant man like this

I bet he thought he
could get us both.

I think he buddied up to me
because he erroneously assumed

assumed that I was the easier
to manipulate out of the two.

Much like one of his students!

Yeah he was definitely
hoping to bang us.

Even if I was

I could still have a girlfriend

and she could still be waiting
for me wondering where I am.

Izzy?

Yes?

How long would you wait
for me to get home

before you decide
something was wrong,

panicked, then called the
police.

Not sure.

The diner we were at was in

- Lyonsfalls
- That's right.

And we passed Lowville about

- 20 minutes ago?
- Also right!

And Janny over here said
he was going to Fort Drum

but offered to take us to
Chaumont

and extra 30 minutes out of the
way.

How do you know so
much about this area?

Are you from here?

I gotta tell you Janus

it's looking more un-likely
that you have a girlfriend.

Well, that aside

you were already planning to be
home in what... an hour and a half?

And let's say that this totally
real and not made up girlfriend

is the world's most nervous
woman

even she wouldn't start worrying
until

a half hour after you were
supposed to arrive?

So I don't think anyone is
sounding the alarm for you

Until you are at least
multiple hours late.

What about my sisters? Huh?

It's almost Christmas. They'll
be worried about me too.

If they had any clue
they needed to be.

You probably got there
for Christmas dinner.

Brunch.

Probably wants to watch
his niece open her presents.

Aw.

That's practically 24 hours..

If you just check my phone
you'll probably see...

- ...a bunch of messages
- You're embarrassing yourself.

People saw us leave
the diner together.

It's only a matter of time until

Until what?

You're just gonna
have to wait and see!

Fuck you!

Fuck you both.

You know, correct me
if I'm wrong Izzy

but do they make a lot of
Lifetime movies about

strange women who kidnap men?

I'm pretty sure it's the other way around.
That's right.

That's right! It is the other
way around.

- Janny
- Janus

Do you really think

you're the one that's
going to look good

once the cops catch up to us?

The cops aren't stupid.

The facts aren't going to line
up.

Fact: 2 women got into the car
of a strange man

Fact: We've already been
reported as missing

Fact: The waitress at the diner
already got my note

asking for help.

What?

Oh! Yeah, I didn't tell you?

I... I was nervous

about getting into a car
with a strange man but

my best friend Izzy
thought we'd be okay

but just to be safe
I left a note detailing

both you and your car
to her just in case.

Smiley face!

Jesus Christ!

The odds are against you.

You bitches.

Oh!

Yes! Bitch!

The word used by all
woke men who are allies.

What if I just kill us all.

Will you slow down!

Do you really want to
scare

someone who's holding
a gun to your back?

Slow down!

I've got what, 30 Ibs
on you bitches!

I'll probably walk away
with minor injuries!

Not if May shoots you!

Grrr!

Wow!

I gotta tell you Janny:
That was pretty exciting.

This is our first time taking
our little act on the road and

I had no idea

how much more thrilling
the car would make things.

um...

I haven't heard any pleads
for your safe return.

Aw, it's almost as if nobody
knows or cares that you're m..

Uh!

They care.

Oh, come on!

Janus lighten up!

Can't take a joke this guy.

Uh... Ummm!

Uh

Okay... Uh...

What are you doing?

I... I need a minute.
I... I can't drive anymore.

Did I say you can pull over?

My ankles are killing
me.

Such a pussy!

That's okay.

Pull over up here.

This is as good a place as any
to stop.

I have a family

5 older sisters

My father died 2 years ago

but my mother still needs
to be taken ca..

Here he goes again!

I'm gonna pee.
Want to shut him up?

Don't maim him too much!

Look at you: My little
mouse on a glue trap.

Big strong man like yourself,
bested by two young women.

Not exactly young, are you?

What are you, pushing 40?

- I'm 32
- Uh...

Sorry.

First time seeing your
face without a filter.

Again with the belittlement.

First you try mansplaining
to me with that

condescending little Aesop's
fable

then when that doesn't work

you try driving a wedge
between me and Izzy

because obviously you are
arrogant enough to think

that one or two pointed
comments from you

Could end a lifetime of
trust and friendship

Let's not forget uh... Kimberly?

And your little speed racer
routine

but finally, you save the
best for last:

You try the hostage
negotiation tactic?

On us?

Telling us about your
super dead dad

your soon to be dead mom,
your five million sisters,

your imaginary girlfriend,
your darling little niece

and you know what?

We just don't give a fuck!

Argh!

Because

at the end of the day, Janus

the roman God of gateways
and motherfucking January

Please! Please!

No matter how your ego helps you
cope with the events of today

I just want you to remember

this unfiltered face

that's holding you captive
by your balls right now.

Ugh!

Um!

Ugh! Um!

- Ooh!
- Grr!

Now is the time when you

decide whether or not
you're going to

Accept your fate

Urgh!

Or chew off one of your
own limbs to survive.

Oh God! Ugh!

Here's one for
the last minute shoppers

whose Amazon orders won't be
coming in time for Christmas.

And they are quickly driving

from Walmart to Walmart

to find that special gift.

Here's Sweater Weather
by Lindsey Boering

# Snow falling all around me #

# under this coat
my heart's pounding #

# Cuddled up here with you #

# Thinking of what I'd like to
do #

# Your kiss tastes like
peppermint #

# The light gives your skin
a pretty tint #

# When you're with me
it feels like Christmas #

# Nothing could be better than
sweater weather #

# When you're with me
the world feels so bright #

# The naughty list never
felt so nice #

Oh my gosh,
Check this out!

Mm!

Um...

Hm!

Umph!

Huh!

Huh?

Argh!

Hm!

Blaargh!

What the fuck did you to me?

The following has just
been obtained from the Facebook

of the man suspected of
kidnapping

May Marigold and Isabella
Laningham.

A warning: the following
images a..

I'm a dirty whore

All I care about is how
many followers I have

Human beings mean nothing to me

No! Don't hurt me!

That was May marigold
obviously being forced

to say something by the
suspected kidnapper

Janus Balaskas

While his motives are still
unclear,

police have been trying
to ping his cel phone

in an attempt to locate the
victims before it's too late.

That was just the latest drama
from our Youtube stars

known for their hit show:
Murder She Cooked

You two

You're sick motherfuckers,
you know that?

What is wrong with you?

Why?

- Why me?
- I don't have it in me

for another why you why
this person debate.

Yeah, right.

You clearly love to talk.

That's right! I do.

But I work hard so I've
earned the right to speak

as much or as little
as I fucking want to.

You know, I don't know Izzy

I think we should flip the coin
again.

I don't think he deserves to
live.

We usually do best out of three.

Wait!

Oh yeah, that'..

You still have the coin?

Oh my God,

Do you wanna kiss it
for good luck?

Please!

Please!

Oh! I was..

Ahrg!

You see it?

I think it landed
somewhere over here?

Hm...

Where could it be?

Oh!

Here it is!

Huh! Just kidding! It's
the top of an acorn.

Don't worry little
Janny we'll find it.

We'll find it. n

Doesn't look good.

It sure doesn't.

Augh!

What the fuck!

You know what? Um, Why don't you
just go wait in the car

and I'll come get you
when I'm done.

Don't sleep, ok?

Can you make it?

You're sure?..Okay?

Yeah? Don't sleep.

Ugh! Ugh! Urgh!

Um, ugh...

No!

Ahrg!

Um!..Um!

I know this is something you'd
like to think you can avoid.

That you can somehow will
yourself not to get hard.

Hm!

But at the end of the day,
friction is friction.

Are you okay?

It's done?

You didn't cover him
up?

Hm..

Hmph!

Thank you.

Trouble in paradise?

You'd like that wouldn't
you?

Izzy?

Do you have any water?

Why are you asking me?

Janny...

are you back to try and drive
a wedge between us again?

Because it went so well for
you the first time...

May?

Yes?

Do you have any water?

Yes, there's some in my bag.

Can I have some?

Ah!..Thank you.

Do you want some
more?

No.

Thank you.

Well, it's grand finale time.

What does that mean?

Time for the final coin
toss.

But you know,
before I flip this coin

I think it's time you
confessed.

Confess what?

I told you it was too tight!

I can't feel my hands.

- Ugh!
- You don't need to.

I think you know us Janus.

I think you know us very well.

So well in fact

I think you taught an entire
semester about us.

So what? I mentioned
you in my class.

I talk about all kinds of
online personalities.

Don't you mean influencers?

Specially influencers that are
causing the fall of western society?

Ones that could Tell
teenage girls�

to put Tide pods in
their cookie batter

and the young impressionable
women will dutifully tweet back

How many?

Is that what this is
about?

There are consequences to the
things we say professor Balaskas.

That account is private.

Nothing is private on the
internet.

You of all people should know
that.

This is what this
is really about?

I've tweeted about you what...

twice?

Maybe three times?

Sticks and stones Janus.

You two are pathetic.

Flip the coin.
I don't give a fuck anymore.

Ugh!

Stop! Stop!

I need your help.

Ah!

I need your help.

Urgh!

Did you really just...
kill her?

Actually I think you did.

Are you cold?

What just happened?

I asked you if you were cold
�cause if you are I can

help you put your pants back on.

Yes. I'm cold.

Hmph!

Ugh!

My fly is down.

- Ugh!
- What's wrong?

My hands, I think
they're really messed up.

[Isabella} Yeah, they're
a little gnarly looking.

Jesus!

Don't be a drama queen.
It's not like you're gonna lose them.

You're such a pussy.

You know... Hm,

I don't see how you saying pussy and
me saying bitch are any different

It is.

So,

It's not okay for me to use derogatory
terms to bring down your sex

but when you do it, it's totally
fine.

Right?

it's
not like... women

betraying the
sisterhood or some shit.

Janice?

Yes?

Shut the fuck up.

So,

Are you two fucking?

What is wrong with you?

Seems like it.

I know in your depraved mind,

two females who love each
other have to be having

nightly pillow fights
and wrestle in jello,

but real love and friendship
know no physical bounds.

Hm...

I've seen you kiss.

You don't kiss your
friends?

No, I don't.

You're missing out.

Did I really kill her?

You're concerned?

Not for her.

For yourself?

Of course I am.

At least with her alive...
I had a chance to...

At what?

I don't know.

Proving my innocence?

You'll be fine.

How?

How will I ever be again?

I wish my hands weren't so numb,

'cause then I could've felt
that bitch's throat

snap in my fingers.

Oh!

That, scandalized you.

That upset your
delicate disposition?

You put me through hell.

And I'm supposed to feel

anything? For you?

You ruined my career,
I could go to jail...

I don't understand why
this is happening to me.

Why would you!

Don't give me that
arrogant bullshit again!

You don't know fuck all about
me.

You chose me at random.

You could have picked
anyone of your little trolls

but for some God forsaken
reason you chose me.

I'm not a perfect person

but I definitely do not deserve
this.

You're right! You're not
a perfect person.

That doesn't give you and
twiddle psycho over there

the right to jigsaw me!

I'm just...

a normal dude.

I'm no worse

no better than anyone else.

Why not you?

What do you mean?

If we're following your
logic then, why not you?

You're no better or no
worse than anyone.

Why would anyone else deserve
this to happen to them?

Why do some people get cancer
and others get to live 'till 90?

We don't live in a
fair or just world.

So why should man I treat
you fairly or justly?

Shit happens. We just happen
to be the ones creating it.

But this is how I'm
going to be remembered?

I'm going to die tied to this
tree.

My family is going to remember
nice uncle Janus

who snapped one day and
killed two Z-List celebrities.

You act like that's something
bad?

It is bad, you fucking lunatic!

May and I have given you the
chance to be remembered!

Most people live and die and
are never thought of again.

Maybe the check out guy at
the 7-11 may one day ask:

What ever happened to such and
such?

Everyone remembers John Hinkley
Jr.

Everyone 30 and older
does.

The average Gen-Z hasn't
the faintest fucking clue!

They ate the story up when we
talked about it on the show!

That's because he tried to kill
a seating president!

And he was obsessed with Jodie
Foster.

Another person they
don't know.

And news flash: You're no Jodie
Foster.

May and I are still in our
infancy.

You have no idea what we'll
become.

And I really don't fucking care.

But you've taken that choice
from me.

I'm now forced to live this
narrative you've created.

And I should have control of
that.

I should!

I should!

Aaargh! Fuck you!

Fuck you!

I should be...

I should...

Fuck me!

Seriously?

Just do it.

Just kill me, okay?

I've got nothing left to live
for and...

I'm in so much pain.

You win

Oh!

Fuck!

Feel better?

Kinda like that feeling of being
on your feet all day and then

finally sitting.

Uhm!

Is this you?

What are
we showing them today, huh?

You're not bad!

Huh? Is your niece the little
girl?

I actually
have a song I wrote.

Oh!

She's pretty.

Did you teach her how to play?

Oh, what. You're finally done
talking?

I assume with your last breath
you'd still be crying ab..

What bitches we were and
how we did you wrong.

Why do you have so
many selfies at the gym?

Has that ever
turned a woman on?

Gonna check your recently deleted
to see if there are any dick picks!

I've already seen it but
still...

What do I fucking have to do
to get a reaction from you?

Want me to tie your hands
back up! 'Cause I will!

What do you want from me?

I want you to pay attention to
me!

She isn't dead, you know?

I'd never do that to her.

Yay.

I'm sorry... okay?

I'm sorry your hands
got all fucked up.

I't wasn't part of the plan.

No?

No, May just...

May... what?

May what?

There's still time to
fix things!

We can go to the police.

We can tell them everything
that's happened...

Is this the supposed girlfriend?

Ex.

Ah! So you lied, huh?

Yeah, I did.

She looks tiny.

Gymnast?

No.

Former student?

We didn't start dating
after she graduated.

Of course you didn't.

I really don't want to do this
again.

Do what?

This insufferable back and forth

where I have to defend
everything I say and I do.

She looks young.

Can she vote?

She's legal, okay?

Boy, that fills me with
confidence!

I'm not a pedophile.

I just like being with
someone who looks up to me.

And women my
own age tend not to.

That's shocking to
hear, Janus.

There's nothing wrong with
dating someone younger than you.

Stop trying to make
everything I do problematic.

I won't let you feel better

about ruining my life!

Did May fuck things up
by messing up my hands?

Does she sometimes go
too far?

Your little niece has been
tweeting about you.

Don't worry uncle Janus.
She's defending you.

Thank you?

She's not using it.

Want some cold fries?

What?

This kid is definitely related
to you.

What'd she say?

She just tweeted

It is not only what we do

but also what we do not do for
which we are accountable.

Moliere.

Yup.

Jesus.

I know. She's almost
as pretentious as..

What 11 year old talks like
this?

Aw... She not only added
you but me and May.

She still loves us by the way.

No one's perfect.

A lot of people are coming at
her.

What do you mean?

How can you defend him.
He's a monster.�

Obviously the apple doesn't
fall far from the tree.�

Who's saying these things to
her?

All kinds of people.

She's child!

People don't care.

Well, they should.

Also who lets a child that young
have a Tweeter account?

I said the same thing to my
sister.

She doesn't care.

Humanity must be exterminated.

Hmm.

This situation is much
larger than any of us�

'You shouldn't be posting about
this

Who said that?

Lyda.

God forbid she parent in person.

People don't think about the big
picture or the greater good.�

They're all myopic.�

All anyone cares about is the instant
gratification of their needs.�

Who wrote that?

No one. I'm just saying it.

How many of my lectures
have you listened to?

All of the ones that were
available online.

I always loved having me
quoted back to me.

You know...

May means more to me than
anyone or anything in th..

Then why did you hurt her?

Things haven't been
going as planned.

I wouldn't say anything to
anyone if you just let me go.

I just want my life back, huh?

I... I will drive away. You'll
never hear from me again.

You're already
all over the news.

You could say it was a... a stunt or...
...or something... for your show.

A war of the worlds
type thing for the internet age.

Will you stop talking about
us in your class?

I will never mention either one
of your names ever again

in my fucking life!

I... I'll do whatever you want me
to do

if... if you just let me get out
of here.

I... I'll even stop
teaching!

I'll retire early! I'll take up
fucking knitting.

Whatever you want me to do I'll
do!

What are you doing?

Run!

Now!

Agh!

Huh!..Go!

Run! Ask is is a professor
of media studies at Anglesea

Urgh!

Balaskas is a prof..

With no known connection between
him and the victims at this time.

Balaskas is driving
a 2012 red Saturn minivan.

If you have any information
on his whereabouts

please call our hotline

AAArgh!
1-800-367-9678

Once more: If you see a 2012 red
Saturn minivan

please call our hotline
1-800-367-9678

Help!..Help!

We're at the woods,
over near Copenhagen

He tried to...