Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,306 --> 00:00:04,542
Yo, Mark.
2
00:00:04,543 --> 00:00:06,044
Just got my UBI check.
3
00:00:06,045 --> 00:00:07,748
Bet we can get some
sweet tickets for the
4
00:00:07,749 --> 00:00:08,884
Phillies game on Thursday.
5
00:00:08,885 --> 00:00:09,753
Nah, Hank.
6
00:00:09,754 --> 00:00:10,788
We got better plans.
7
00:00:10,789 --> 00:00:12,793
What's better than
Dollar Dog Night?
8
00:00:12,926 --> 00:00:13,928
Bow hunting.
9
00:00:14,061 --> 00:00:15,531
Hell yeah. Bow hunting.
10
00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:17,602
So, uh, what's bow hunting?
11
00:00:17,603 --> 00:00:19,772
It's hunting but
with a bow and arrow.
12
00:00:19,773 --> 00:00:20,975
Way more hardcore.
13
00:00:21,075 --> 00:00:21,744
Woah.
14
00:00:22,044 --> 00:00:22,811
Let me tell you, there's
something beautiful
15
00:00:22,812 --> 00:00:25,083
and ancient about
the bow and arrow.
16
00:00:25,084 --> 00:00:27,086
One of man's most
primitive tools.
17
00:00:27,087 --> 00:00:27,822
Check it out.
18
00:00:27,989 --> 00:00:28,323
Woah.
19
00:00:28,691 --> 00:00:30,627
The Falcon NX5, Buckshredder.
20
00:00:30,628 --> 00:00:33,733
This bad boy fires a
hundred heat seeking arrows
21
00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:34,936
in under six seconds.
22
00:00:35,070 --> 00:00:37,173
Damn, just like
the caveman used.
23
00:00:37,174 --> 00:00:39,512
Yup, they were having a sale
at Hardcore Hunting.
24
00:00:39,613 --> 00:00:42,518
Spend over twenty five hundred
dollars and get a free grenade.
25
00:00:42,885 --> 00:00:45,824
Nice. You never know when
you might need a grenade.
26
00:00:45,825 --> 00:00:46,527
Exactly.
27
00:00:46,794 --> 00:00:48,930
So, uh, you know how
to use this thing or?
28
00:00:48,931 --> 00:00:50,701
Oh yeah, I've been
listening to Rogan talk
29
00:00:50,702 --> 00:00:52,137
about elk hunting for years.
30
00:00:52,371 --> 00:00:54,241
Maybe I should practice
a little with the bow?
31
00:00:54,242 --> 00:00:55,811
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
you don't use the bow.
32
00:00:56,012 --> 00:00:56,379
I don't?
33
00:00:56,713 --> 00:00:57,714
Nah, nah, you got a much more
34
00:00:57,715 --> 00:00:58,585
important role.
35
00:00:58,718 --> 00:00:59,285
Oh, okay.
36
00:00:59,419 --> 00:01:01,557
Every hunter needs a gatherer.
37
00:01:01,690 --> 00:01:03,226
You are the gatherer.
38
00:01:03,359 --> 00:01:04,028
Nice.
39
00:01:04,162 --> 00:01:05,998
So, uh, what does a gatherer do?
40
00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:07,569
After I shoot the arrows,
41
00:01:07,703 --> 00:01:09,172
you gather 'em.
42
00:01:09,439 --> 00:01:09,974
Awesome.
43
00:01:10,307 --> 00:01:11,577
Oh baby, look at that,
look at that.
44
00:01:11,710 --> 00:01:12,378
Okay. We got movement
45
00:01:12,512 --> 00:01:13,980
at 12 o'clock
right there, Hank.
46
00:01:13,981 --> 00:01:15,719
Okay, you wanna see
this bad boy in action?
47
00:01:15,852 --> 00:01:16,452
Hell yeah.
48
00:01:20,094 --> 00:01:21,162
Uh, Mark?
49
00:01:21,463 --> 00:01:21,864
Oh crap.
50
00:01:22,164 --> 00:01:22,965
I forgot they're heat seeking.
51
00:01:22,966 --> 00:01:23,868
Hank, hit the deck!
52
00:01:30,313 --> 00:01:31,750
Well don't you
stand there, Hank?
53
00:01:31,851 --> 00:01:32,852
Gather the arrows!
54
00:01:35,792 --> 00:01:38,396
Well, I used to work
at a hot dog factory.
55
00:01:38,397 --> 00:01:40,433
Until them
robots came along.
56
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,171
And now
there is no job for me
57
00:01:42,271 --> 00:01:44,708
But I get 3,000
bucks a month
58
00:01:44,709 --> 00:01:48,918
Thanks to UBI
59
00:01:49,018 --> 00:01:52,891
Now we're
Universal Basic Guys.
60
00:01:52,892 --> 00:01:54,762
It may not
sound like much.
61
00:01:54,763 --> 00:01:57,901
But we're
still gonna try
62
00:01:57,902 --> 00:02:02,779
We're just
Universal Basic Guys
63
00:02:06,820 --> 00:02:07,487
No, no, no, no.
64
00:02:07,488 --> 00:02:09,223
UBI is not freedom, okay?
65
00:02:09,224 --> 00:02:10,427
It's socialism.
66
00:02:10,695 --> 00:02:12,030
Giving people handouts.
67
00:02:12,231 --> 00:02:13,901
That's the end of
America right there.
68
00:02:14,068 --> 00:02:15,572
Wait, aren't you on disability?
69
00:02:15,705 --> 00:02:18,609
Okay, well, that's due to a
serious medical issue, okay?
70
00:02:18,610 --> 00:02:19,345
Chronic Edema.
71
00:02:19,547 --> 00:02:21,448
Swollen ankles due
to salt retention.
72
00:02:21,449 --> 00:02:23,521
You can't work with
a handicap like that.
73
00:02:24,222 --> 00:02:25,023
Oh hey, hun.
74
00:02:25,224 --> 00:02:27,894
Hey, did you guys
know a Doug Davidson?
75
00:02:27,895 --> 00:02:28,597
Oh, Dougie D?
76
00:02:28,831 --> 00:02:30,901
Yeah, he uh worked
at the hot dog factory.
77
00:02:30,902 --> 00:02:31,604
Good guy.
78
00:02:31,804 --> 00:02:32,404
Oh, yeah?
79
00:02:32,405 --> 00:02:33,573
Well, apparently his wife
80
00:02:33,574 --> 00:02:35,275
Janine's been reported missing,
81
00:02:35,276 --> 00:02:36,813
and now they can't find Doug.
82
00:02:36,814 --> 00:02:39,519
Ya know, I think he had
something to do with it.
83
00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:40,820
Oh, get out of here.
84
00:02:40,821 --> 00:02:42,358
You watch way too much Dateline.
85
00:02:42,491 --> 00:02:44,162
Uh, where's the grill?
86
00:02:44,329 --> 00:02:45,029
Oh, it blew up.
87
00:02:45,196 --> 00:02:45,797
Hank.
88
00:02:45,798 --> 00:02:46,833
It blew up?
89
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,370
It was an accident, okay?
90
00:02:48,504 --> 00:02:49,038
Oh, yeah?
91
00:02:49,138 --> 00:02:50,172
An accident?
92
00:02:50,173 --> 00:02:51,441
Hey, you should be
happy to know
93
00:02:51,442 --> 00:02:52,476
that the arrows I purchased
94
00:02:52,477 --> 00:02:55,182
are of high enough quality
to pierce a propane tank.
95
00:02:55,183 --> 00:02:56,452
Oh, great. I'm thrilled.
96
00:02:56,553 --> 00:02:58,455
You really know my
love language, Mark.
97
00:02:58,456 --> 00:03:01,695
I'm telling you, Tam, this is a
really smart investment, okay?
98
00:03:01,696 --> 00:03:03,934
This thing's gonna provide
us with infinite meat.
99
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:05,771
You want to provide
food for the family?
100
00:03:05,872 --> 00:03:08,676
Why don't you just try growing
a garden like David over there?
101
00:03:09,579 --> 00:03:11,115
Oh, come on,
that whole garden is like
102
00:03:11,116 --> 00:03:12,283
one freakin' salad, okay?
103
00:03:12,284 --> 00:03:15,725
A single deer would provide our
family with meat for months.
104
00:03:16,660 --> 00:03:18,230
Ooh, ooh, Hank, check it out.
105
00:03:18,497 --> 00:03:19,966
Looks like dinner has arrived.
106
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:20,968
Let's go.
107
00:03:24,174 --> 00:03:25,176
Oh, okay, great.
108
00:03:25,410 --> 00:03:28,015
In the off chance he actually
killed a poor thing, we can
109
00:03:28,016 --> 00:03:31,388
sous vide it in the hot tub,
since we no longer have a grill.
110
00:03:31,389 --> 00:03:33,727
You know, you can actually
do that Tam, okay?
111
00:03:33,728 --> 00:03:36,498
I know a guy who can disable
the high limit sensor
112
00:03:36,499 --> 00:03:38,236
and get this puppy up to 130.
113
00:03:38,403 --> 00:03:39,606
Uh, we're good.
114
00:03:40,107 --> 00:03:41,142
Okay, lay it on me.
115
00:03:41,510 --> 00:03:43,246
Well, good news and bad news.
116
00:03:43,346 --> 00:03:44,015
Hah, really?
117
00:03:44,382 --> 00:03:45,384
Okay, let's start with the bad.
118
00:03:45,518 --> 00:03:46,620
What's this bad news?
119
00:03:46,787 --> 00:03:49,025
So, all the major
cable networks passed.
120
00:03:49,125 --> 00:03:50,562
Ughhh, dammit!
121
00:03:50,895 --> 00:03:51,897
Oh, come on!
122
00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:53,901
You know, this is
why cable is dying.
123
00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:55,202
What about the podcasts?
124
00:03:55,203 --> 00:03:56,338
I gave you a list of podcasts.
125
00:03:56,339 --> 00:03:56,907
Let's go through those.
126
00:03:57,241 --> 00:03:59,846
Yeah, uh... Terry Gross?
Sam Harris?
127
00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:01,516
Those are huge podcasts, David.
128
00:04:01,517 --> 00:04:03,118
I mean, in what world
do you think they would
129
00:04:03,119 --> 00:04:04,889
want to interview a guy
who self-published
130
00:04:04,890 --> 00:04:05,858
a book about gardening?
131
00:04:05,859 --> 00:04:07,527
Uh, sustainable gardening,
132
00:04:07,528 --> 00:04:09,398
and it's about my journey, okay?
133
00:04:09,766 --> 00:04:12,103
Ugh. What's the point of having
a book publicist if you
134
00:04:12,104 --> 00:04:13,306
can't get me any interviews?
135
00:04:13,406 --> 00:04:15,275
Uh, I am not your publicist.
136
00:04:15,276 --> 00:04:16,179
I'm your cousin.
137
00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:18,182
I'm doing this as
a favor, David.
138
00:04:18,316 --> 00:04:19,151
So am I.
139
00:04:19,318 --> 00:04:20,453
I got a lot of cousins, Chuck.
140
00:04:20,454 --> 00:04:21,756
I could have gone
with any of 'em.
141
00:04:22,725 --> 00:04:23,392
Okay, David.
142
00:04:23,627 --> 00:04:24,027
Ugh.
143
00:04:24,328 --> 00:04:25,665
Okay, so what's the good news?
144
00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:28,469
I booked you on
Sunrise Philadelphia.
145
00:04:28,904 --> 00:04:30,140
Oh... okay.
146
00:04:30,273 --> 00:04:31,042
Okay, that's not bad.
147
00:04:31,209 --> 00:04:32,679
That's like a pretty
big deal down here.
148
00:04:32,845 --> 00:04:35,049
Great, because they also
would love for you to show
149
00:04:35,050 --> 00:04:38,122
them your garden and give
some organic gardening tips.
150
00:04:38,123 --> 00:04:39,423
Oh, wow! That's exciting.
151
00:04:39,424 --> 00:04:40,393
So they're coming to my house?
152
00:04:40,527 --> 00:04:42,965
Am I doing my own makeup
or are they sending someone?
153
00:04:43,099 --> 00:04:46,807
Uh... is there someone in your
backyard with a crossbow?
154
00:04:46,940 --> 00:04:47,908
Wait, what?
155
00:04:50,814 --> 00:04:52,316
Hey! Uh, no! No!
156
00:04:52,317 --> 00:04:52,685
Shh!!
157
00:04:56,059 --> 00:04:56,727
Dammit, David!
158
00:04:56,894 --> 00:04:58,763
I was about to light
that bad boy up!
159
00:04:58,764 --> 00:04:59,231
Mark!
160
00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:01,502
Please do not hunt
in my backyard!
161
00:05:01,503 --> 00:05:02,804
I'm protecting your crops.
162
00:05:02,805 --> 00:05:05,076
That deer was eating
your penis emojis.
163
00:05:05,077 --> 00:05:06,079
Those are eggplants.
164
00:05:06,412 --> 00:05:08,350
Oh, that's an eggplant.
165
00:05:08,551 --> 00:05:10,320
What did you think
an eggplant was?
166
00:05:10,555 --> 00:05:11,455
I don't know. I always thought
167
00:05:11,456 --> 00:05:12,457
it was like a tree that
168
00:05:12,458 --> 00:05:13,761
grows eggs or something.
169
00:05:14,596 --> 00:05:17,635
Ok. Well listen, I don't need
your help defending my garden.
170
00:05:17,769 --> 00:05:20,172
I'm perfectly capable
of keeping deer away
171
00:05:20,173 --> 00:05:21,342
without murdering them.
172
00:05:21,443 --> 00:05:22,778
I don't know about
that, David, okay?
173
00:05:22,779 --> 00:05:24,682
Deer aren't afraid
of guys like you.
174
00:05:24,683 --> 00:05:25,050
Oh, yeah?
175
00:05:25,317 --> 00:05:25,852
Yeah, they can sense that
176
00:05:25,952 --> 00:05:26,653
I'm a decent human being?
177
00:05:26,987 --> 00:05:30,528
Nature's only got one rule:
kill or be killed.
178
00:05:30,661 --> 00:05:33,065
When the animals sense
you're a vegetarian, they're
179
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:34,100
not afraid of you no more.
180
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:35,804
They will walk all over you.
181
00:05:35,805 --> 00:05:36,606
Okay. Fine.
182
00:05:36,607 --> 00:05:38,475
If that's the cost of being
ethical,
183
00:05:38,476 --> 00:05:39,512
then the animals
184
00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:40,780
don't have to respect me.
185
00:05:40,781 --> 00:05:41,615
Whoa, David, okay?
186
00:05:41,616 --> 00:05:43,753
Bow hunting is highly
ethical, okay?
187
00:05:43,754 --> 00:05:45,892
More ethical than being
vegetarian, actually.
188
00:05:46,025 --> 00:05:48,596
I mean, I feel like NOT
killing a conscious creature
189
00:05:48,597 --> 00:05:51,503
at all... probably the
most ethical thing, no?
190
00:05:51,636 --> 00:05:53,640
David, what do you think
is going happen to that
191
00:05:53,641 --> 00:05:54,274
deer you just spooked?
192
00:05:54,275 --> 00:05:55,376
Do you think he's gonna go on
193
00:05:55,377 --> 00:05:56,045
and live forever?
194
00:05:56,246 --> 00:05:58,249
Go become the first
deer astronaut?
195
00:05:58,383 --> 00:05:59,352
I got news for you.
196
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,222
Nature is brutal.
197
00:06:01,356 --> 00:06:03,693
That deer is gonna get
eaten by a bear, or hit
198
00:06:03,694 --> 00:06:06,565
by a car, or die of one of
those parasites where a worm
199
00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:08,769
takes control of its brain
and makes it walk around all
200
00:06:08,770 --> 00:06:10,173
weird and fall over the field.
201
00:06:10,307 --> 00:06:13,679
Okay, bow hunting gives that
deer a dignified, noble death.
202
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:16,886
In fact, the best possible
outcome for that deer is to
203
00:06:16,887 --> 00:06:19,224
take an arrow through the
heart from yours truly, okay?
204
00:06:19,225 --> 00:06:22,097
Okay, listen, if you wanna go
shoot defenseless animals,
205
00:06:22,197 --> 00:06:24,869
that's your choice, but
maybe do it in the woods?
206
00:06:24,969 --> 00:06:25,738
Okay, David.
207
00:06:25,838 --> 00:06:26,172
Pfft!
208
00:06:26,272 --> 00:06:26,807
Let's go, Hank!
209
00:06:27,141 --> 00:06:29,410
You know ah, Hank,
I-- I'm surprised.
210
00:06:29,411 --> 00:06:31,015
You don't seem like
the hunting type.
211
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:32,718
Oh, I'm actually just gathering.
212
00:06:34,054 --> 00:06:35,490
Hey, don't forget your arrows!
213
00:06:36,025 --> 00:06:36,760
Dammit, Hank!
214
00:06:38,530 --> 00:06:41,569
Okay... Any minute now...
215
00:06:41,570 --> 00:06:44,876
Our little four legged friend
is gonna to come stumbling
216
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:47,615
right into the line of fire.
217
00:06:49,384 --> 00:06:50,421
Hank, what the
hell are you doing?
218
00:06:50,588 --> 00:06:51,990
I'm taking a hot dog break.
219
00:06:52,124 --> 00:06:52,925
What do you mean hot dog break?
220
00:06:52,926 --> 00:06:54,662
We've been out here
for 20 minutes.
221
00:06:55,263 --> 00:06:56,265
The hell's wrong with you?
222
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:57,936
We're catching our own meat now.
223
00:06:58,136 --> 00:07:00,040
Yeah, I just don't know
how I feel about, like,
224
00:07:00,140 --> 00:07:01,141
killing animals and stuff.
225
00:07:01,308 --> 00:07:01,576
Hank!
226
00:07:01,943 --> 00:07:02,877
What do you think hot dogs
227
00:07:02,878 --> 00:07:03,547
are made from?
228
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:04,816
Uh, sludge?
229
00:07:05,016 --> 00:07:07,721
Listen, I'm telling you.
This is way more ethical
230
00:07:07,722 --> 00:07:08,823
than eating hot dogs.
231
00:07:08,824 --> 00:07:10,893
We bow hunters
follow a strict code.
232
00:07:11,730 --> 00:07:13,466
Hey, oh-- shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh.
233
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,069
Hank, check it out.
234
00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:18,409
Wouldn't it be against
bow hunting rules
235
00:07:18,410 --> 00:07:19,411
to kill a baby deer?
236
00:07:19,546 --> 00:07:20,782
Might not be a baby.
237
00:07:21,216 --> 00:07:22,050
Could be a midget.
238
00:07:24,823 --> 00:07:25,289
Whoa!
239
00:07:26,325 --> 00:07:27,828
What the hell was that?
240
00:07:28,196 --> 00:07:29,064
Dougie D?
241
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:30,300
Yo!
242
00:07:30,467 --> 00:07:31,636
You gotta be more careful, man.
243
00:07:31,637 --> 00:07:32,839
What are you doing out here?
244
00:07:32,972 --> 00:07:33,540
Mark?
245
00:07:34,074 --> 00:07:34,609
Hank?
246
00:07:35,243 --> 00:07:38,917
Hey-- Well... since getting
laid off from the factory,
247
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:39,853
I uh...
248
00:07:39,953 --> 00:07:41,388
I finally decided
to live my dream of
249
00:07:41,389 --> 00:07:42,958
being a survivalist.
250
00:07:43,393 --> 00:07:43,627
Yeah.
251
00:07:43,628 --> 00:07:44,195
No way,
252
00:07:44,395 --> 00:07:45,097
that's freaking awesome, man.
253
00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:47,935
Yeah, see Hank, I told you
this guy didn't kill his wife.
254
00:07:47,936 --> 00:07:48,804
What?
255
00:07:49,104 --> 00:07:50,574
No, no, no, that's crazy.
256
00:07:50,741 --> 00:07:51,610
Of course I didn't.
257
00:07:51,710 --> 00:07:52,377
I had nothing to do with it.
258
00:07:52,378 --> 00:07:54,113
Ah, I wouldn't worry too much.
259
00:07:54,114 --> 00:07:55,350
Right now, she's just missing.
260
00:07:55,483 --> 00:07:57,087
Oh, yeah, right,
right, right, yeah.
261
00:07:57,622 --> 00:07:59,626
So, like, nobody knows
I'm out here, right?
262
00:07:59,793 --> 00:08:01,095
I mean, I don't think so.
263
00:08:01,262 --> 00:08:02,865
Except us now, obviously.
264
00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:04,133
Yeah.
265
00:08:04,803 --> 00:08:05,770
Well, listen, if you want
266
00:08:05,771 --> 00:08:06,606
a break from solitude,
267
00:08:06,740 --> 00:08:08,844
you're welcome to come
bow hunting with us.
268
00:08:09,211 --> 00:08:09,879
You know,
269
00:08:10,213 --> 00:08:11,750
that sounds like a great idea.
270
00:08:18,229 --> 00:08:18,996
Uh, excuse me.
271
00:08:18,997 --> 00:08:19,532
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
272
00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:20,266
What are you doing, babe?
273
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,270
Grabbing a couple tomatoes?
274
00:08:22,404 --> 00:08:24,075
Okay, why do you need tomatoes?
275
00:08:24,375 --> 00:08:25,611
To... eat?
276
00:08:25,744 --> 00:08:27,614
Yeah, this garden
is not for eating.
277
00:08:27,615 --> 00:08:29,217
This garden is going
to be featured on TV.
278
00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:31,254
This would be like you going
on the full house set and
279
00:08:31,255 --> 00:08:32,090
eating the Olsen Twins.
280
00:08:32,390 --> 00:08:36,130
Uh, I don't think I'm the
one you need to worry about.
281
00:08:36,131 --> 00:08:36,967
What do you mean?
282
00:08:38,369 --> 00:08:39,138
Damnit!
283
00:08:39,271 --> 00:08:41,408
Oh, come on, jeez.
284
00:08:41,643 --> 00:08:43,547
Oh, they ate ah-- they
ate everything!
285
00:08:43,714 --> 00:08:45,049
They even ate
the frickin' herbs!
286
00:08:45,050 --> 00:08:47,254
Are you alright over
there, Jinglebells?
287
00:08:47,387 --> 00:08:47,989
No.
288
00:08:48,189 --> 00:08:50,227
The damn deer keep
eating my crops.
289
00:08:50,528 --> 00:08:53,433
You know, I got a guy who can
install a spiked fence for you.
290
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:54,735
A spiked fence?
291
00:08:54,936 --> 00:08:57,406
Uh, sounds a little extreme.
Does it work?
292
00:08:57,407 --> 00:08:58,676
Oh yeah, big time, okay?
293
00:08:58,677 --> 00:08:59,579
That's why they're illegal.
294
00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:00,515
They're illegal?
295
00:09:00,648 --> 00:09:03,152
Well, only because the
snowflakes you elect
296
00:09:03,252 --> 00:09:04,689
claim they're "inhumane."
297
00:09:04,922 --> 00:09:07,994
Okay, well anything that'll harm
animals is out of the question.
298
00:09:07,995 --> 00:09:08,596
Nah, nah, nah.
299
00:09:08,597 --> 00:09:09,231
It's just a deterrent.
300
00:09:09,431 --> 00:09:11,703
Like a, uh, spiky
metal scarecrow.
301
00:09:11,803 --> 00:09:13,004
Yeah, thanks but no thanks.
302
00:09:13,005 --> 00:09:15,010
I'll just stick with,
uh, peppermint oil.
303
00:09:15,210 --> 00:09:16,445
Pfft. Wasting your money.
304
00:09:16,580 --> 00:09:17,213
What do you mean?
305
00:09:17,582 --> 00:09:19,719
Doesn't work on a deer
in South Jersey, okay?
306
00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,856
The animals here are
stubborn bastards.
307
00:09:21,857 --> 00:09:23,325
No respect for property.
308
00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:24,094
Excuse me.
309
00:09:24,261 --> 00:09:25,931
Get the hell out of my hot tub.
310
00:09:30,307 --> 00:09:31,442
Pfft. Unbelievable.
311
00:09:31,743 --> 00:09:34,314
Fricken deer all over the
roads and none in the forest.
312
00:09:34,716 --> 00:09:35,216
You know what?
313
00:09:35,818 --> 00:09:38,088
I know a perfect spot where
a ton of deer hang out.
314
00:09:38,289 --> 00:09:41,295
But we gotta go a little
deeper in the woods.
315
00:09:41,630 --> 00:09:42,163
Eh, I don't know.
316
00:09:42,330 --> 00:09:43,733
I feel like we should head back.
317
00:09:43,734 --> 00:09:44,401
You know, it's
getting kind of late.
318
00:09:44,569 --> 00:09:45,904
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
You can't leave!
319
00:09:46,506 --> 00:09:49,478
I-- I mean... we should
camp out, right?
320
00:09:49,846 --> 00:09:51,517
Look, I got a tent,
I got a whole set up.
321
00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:52,384
It'll be great.
322
00:09:52,484 --> 00:09:53,052
Aw, hell yeah.
323
00:09:53,185 --> 00:09:54,353
A little overnight hunting trip
324
00:09:54,354 --> 00:09:55,257
with the boys.
325
00:09:55,390 --> 00:09:56,392
What do you say, Hank?
326
00:09:56,626 --> 00:09:57,695
Uh... I'm pretty hungry.
327
00:09:57,895 --> 00:10:00,901
Hank, what do you say you and
me do a little foraging, yeah?
328
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:03,606
You know, a lot of people
say that mushrooms are the
329
00:10:03,607 --> 00:10:05,243
hot dogs of the forest.
330
00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:06,078
Oh yeah?
331
00:10:06,445 --> 00:10:06,746
Okay.
332
00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,115
Yo, there we go!
333
00:10:08,116 --> 00:10:09,585
There we go, Hanky Hank!
334
00:10:09,785 --> 00:10:11,789
Yeah, alright, Doug, Doug,
just let me call the wife.
335
00:10:11,790 --> 00:10:13,459
Uh, I gotta let her know
we're sleeping out tonight.
336
00:10:13,460 --> 00:10:14,862
No, no, no, no, you can't!
337
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:20,707
Well, I mean... who
needs to call their wife?
338
00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:22,545
We're just hanging out.
339
00:10:22,645 --> 00:10:24,882
Pfft, oka-- Doug, I got news
for you, okay?
340
00:10:24,883 --> 00:10:27,186
If I camp out here with
you and don't tell her,
341
00:10:27,187 --> 00:10:28,256
I'm literally gonna
get murdered.
342
00:10:28,422 --> 00:10:32,564
Okay, uh... just maybe don't
mention you're with me, please?
343
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:33,767
Don't worry, I got you.
344
00:10:37,474 --> 00:10:38,744
She was the life
of the party.
345
00:10:39,044 --> 00:10:42,619
Her smile would light up a
room, but little did she know.
346
00:10:42,819 --> 00:10:44,155
Oh yeah, she's dead.
347
00:10:44,355 --> 00:10:45,624
She's freakin' dead.
348
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:48,296
Hey hun... What's up?
349
00:10:48,563 --> 00:10:50,933
Hey uh, just wanna let you
know I'm gonna be camping out
350
00:10:50,934 --> 00:10:52,404
tonight with uh, Hank and Doug.
351
00:10:52,538 --> 00:10:53,373
Ah, crap.
352
00:10:53,507 --> 00:10:54,174
Doug?
353
00:10:54,274 --> 00:10:55,509
As in Doug Davidson?
354
00:10:55,510 --> 00:10:58,282
No, no, uh, Doug,
uh, Doug Peterson.
355
00:10:58,717 --> 00:10:59,852
The old Eagles coach?
356
00:11:00,086 --> 00:11:02,824
Uh, yeah, yeah, that's whom.
Agh, alright listen.
357
00:11:02,825 --> 00:11:04,595
Okay, Tam, I'm with Doug, okay?
358
00:11:04,596 --> 00:11:05,831
But just keep it
on the DL, okay?
359
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,301
He doesn't want anyone
to know he's out here.
360
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:08,804
Uh, yeah, you know why?
361
00:11:08,904 --> 00:11:10,641
Because he's a
MURDERER, you idiot!
362
00:11:10,808 --> 00:11:12,276
Okay, calm down.
363
00:11:12,277 --> 00:11:13,244
He's not a murderer.
364
00:11:13,245 --> 00:11:15,683
He's a good guy and he
needs friends right now.
365
00:11:15,684 --> 00:11:16,318
Mark!
366
00:11:16,553 --> 00:11:17,120
I'm telling ya,
367
00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:18,790
I've been checking out
his Facebook.
368
00:11:18,991 --> 00:11:20,527
Look at some of
the pages he likes.
369
00:11:20,794 --> 00:11:24,435
O.J. Simpson, Chris Benoit,
Oscar Pistorius.
370
00:11:24,703 --> 00:11:26,304
Okay, so the guy likes sports.
371
00:11:26,305 --> 00:11:27,207
I mean No, Mark.
372
00:11:27,441 --> 00:11:30,079
He likes athletes who
killed their FRICKIN' wives!
373
00:11:30,313 --> 00:11:31,014
Oh, please, okay?
374
00:11:31,281 --> 00:11:32,851
You like Michael Jackson
doesn't mean you go
375
00:11:32,852 --> 00:11:33,853
around boinking kids.
376
00:11:33,854 --> 00:11:34,888
Mark, listen to me.
377
00:11:34,889 --> 00:11:36,992
You and your brother need
to get your asses outta
378
00:11:36,993 --> 00:11:38,329
there and call the cops!
379
00:11:38,429 --> 00:11:39,464
Okay, I hear you.
I got you.
380
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:40,735
Okay, let me talk to the guys.
381
00:11:41,102 --> 00:11:43,038
No! Do not talk to
the guys about it!
382
00:11:48,482 --> 00:11:49,719
Oh! What about that one?
383
00:11:49,852 --> 00:11:51,689
Ooh, that's a beauty, Hank.
384
00:11:51,690 --> 00:11:52,490
Good pick.
385
00:11:52,959 --> 00:11:55,062
You sure it's not
like, uh, poison?
386
00:11:55,329 --> 00:11:56,232
Not at all.
387
00:11:56,499 --> 00:11:58,069
In fact, those are my favorite.
388
00:11:58,369 --> 00:11:59,371
I eat them all the time.
389
00:11:59,739 --> 00:12:01,475
Hmm...
390
00:12:05,116 --> 00:12:05,885
Oh.
391
00:12:06,252 --> 00:12:08,590
Someone left a perfectly
good knife in that tree.
392
00:12:08,890 --> 00:12:11,796
Oh... uh... yeah. Nice.
393
00:12:12,297 --> 00:12:14,167
Yeah, I don't know
if I can eat this.
394
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,105
Looks just like the
guy from Mario Kart.
395
00:12:16,372 --> 00:12:17,909
But, uh, you know,
you should have it.
396
00:12:18,009 --> 00:12:19,879
Oh, no, no, I'm good, thanks.
397
00:12:20,012 --> 00:12:21,248
Oh, come on, I insist.
398
00:12:21,550 --> 00:12:23,652
You said you eat these
mushrooms all the time and
399
00:12:23,653 --> 00:12:24,989
that these are your favorite.
400
00:12:25,858 --> 00:12:29,966
Right. I... um...
fine, yeah. Sure.
401
00:12:31,670 --> 00:12:32,538
Mmm.
402
00:12:33,206 --> 00:12:33,974
Yummy.
403
00:12:35,109 --> 00:12:36,546
Would you excuse me
for just a second?
404
00:12:37,748 --> 00:12:38,616
Good news guys.
405
00:12:38,617 --> 00:12:39,417
Talked to the wife.
406
00:12:39,552 --> 00:12:41,121
We are all clear for camping.
407
00:12:41,890 --> 00:12:42,558
Hey, what's up with him?
408
00:12:42,859 --> 00:12:46,264
Hey Mark, can I uh, talk
to you for a second?
409
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:47,100
What's up?
410
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,471
I have some concerns about Doug.
411
00:12:51,610 --> 00:12:52,511
I think he's bulimic.
412
00:12:58,155 --> 00:12:58,991
Oh, come on.
413
00:12:59,124 --> 00:12:59,525
Shoo!
414
00:12:59,692 --> 00:13:00,358
Go!
415
00:13:00,359 --> 00:13:01,228
Get out of here!
416
00:13:02,397 --> 00:13:03,165
Swear to god, buddy.
417
00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:04,936
Don't make me use
the peppermint spray.
418
00:13:05,036 --> 00:13:07,240
You'll be smelling like
Christmas for weeks.
419
00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:20,166
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
420
00:13:28,783 --> 00:13:30,153
Mr Jinglebells.
421
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:30,687
Hi.
422
00:13:30,821 --> 00:13:31,856
Yeah, so, uh,
423
00:13:31,857 --> 00:13:33,560
about that spiky fence.
424
00:13:39,004 --> 00:13:40,707
So she really thinks
Doug did it, eh?
425
00:13:40,874 --> 00:13:42,243
Yo no, she's nuts, okay?
426
00:13:42,244 --> 00:13:44,615
She saw one thing on his
Facebook page and now
427
00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:45,551
she's fricken Columbo.
428
00:13:45,751 --> 00:13:47,954
I don't know, Mark didn't
like his, uh, first wife die
429
00:13:47,955 --> 00:13:48,990
in a weird way or something?
430
00:13:48,991 --> 00:13:49,926
No, not at all, okay?
431
00:13:50,193 --> 00:13:52,632
She, uh, I think she fell
down the stairs or something.
432
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,735
Poor guy, if anyone
appreciates
433
00:13:54,736 --> 00:13:56,271
having a wife,
it's gotta be Doug.
434
00:13:57,407 --> 00:13:58,475
Did you hear that?
Shh, shh, shh...
435
00:14:05,991 --> 00:14:07,327
Ugggh!
436
00:14:08,596 --> 00:14:09,464
Oh boy.
437
00:14:11,435 --> 00:14:12,237
Uh, is he dead?
438
00:14:12,437 --> 00:14:13,239
Hank, would you relax?
439
00:14:13,406 --> 00:14:14,875
Okay, this is just a
little hunting accident.
440
00:14:14,876 --> 00:14:15,778
It happens all the time.
441
00:14:15,911 --> 00:14:16,445
Hey, Doug.
442
00:14:16,913 --> 00:14:17,747
Doug, you good?
443
00:14:17,748 --> 00:14:19,317
Arrrgh!
444
00:14:19,752 --> 00:14:20,420
Okay, don't worry, pal.
445
00:14:20,821 --> 00:14:22,891
Just got uh, the wind
knocked out of you, okay?
446
00:14:22,892 --> 00:14:23,459
No big deal.
447
00:14:24,128 --> 00:14:26,098
Uh, should we call
9-1-1 or?
448
00:14:29,104 --> 00:14:31,175
Ehhh. Yeah, probably.
449
00:14:31,643 --> 00:14:32,979
Ah, crap. Phone's dead.
450
00:14:33,279 --> 00:14:34,983
Yo, Hank, what uh...
percentage you at?
451
00:14:35,149 --> 00:14:36,620
I don't know. Won't turn on.
452
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,856
Hmm. Looks like we're
gonna have to do this
453
00:14:38,857 --> 00:14:39,893
the old fashioned way.
454
00:14:40,026 --> 00:14:42,096
Like a surgery with
sticks or something?
455
00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:43,398
Hm...
456
00:14:45,504 --> 00:14:46,171
You know what, nah.
457
00:14:46,438 --> 00:14:47,975
I think we gotta,
we gotta go get help.
458
00:14:49,177 --> 00:14:50,914
What the hell kind
of fence is this?
459
00:14:50,915 --> 00:14:53,384
Eh, it's just a deterrent
to keep deer out.
460
00:14:53,385 --> 00:14:54,187
It's hideous.
461
00:14:54,321 --> 00:14:55,089
I don't know, I kind of like it.
462
00:14:55,256 --> 00:14:58,128
It's got kind of a
Game of Thrones vibe.
463
00:14:58,295 --> 00:14:58,630
Ugh.
464
00:14:58,930 --> 00:14:59,865
Listen, I have no choice.
465
00:15:00,032 --> 00:15:01,768
The Sunrise Philadelphia
people are coming and the
466
00:15:01,769 --> 00:15:04,308
entire tri-state area is
going to see my garden, okay?
467
00:15:04,475 --> 00:15:06,779
No one's going to buy a
gardening book from a man
468
00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:08,015
with nibbled eggplants.
469
00:15:08,148 --> 00:15:09,451
How much is this
thing going to cost?
470
00:15:09,619 --> 00:15:12,156
Oh, it's Mernft Man's friend.
He's doing it as a favor.
471
00:15:12,157 --> 00:15:14,027
Eight thousand dollars.
472
00:15:14,161 --> 00:15:16,700
Eight thou--
You mean eight thousand rubles?
473
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:17,234
No.
474
00:15:17,434 --> 00:15:18,368
You know. Okay well look,
475
00:15:18,369 --> 00:15:20,673
our fence budget is only
two thousand dollars.
476
00:15:20,674 --> 00:15:22,243
Eight thousand dollars!
477
00:15:22,343 --> 00:15:24,548
Okay yes, sure.
Sorry, no problem.
478
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:25,215
Uh,...you know what?
479
00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:26,552
I'm gonna go get my checkbook.
480
00:15:26,553 --> 00:15:27,120
Cash.
481
00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:29,825
I don't have eight thousand
dollars in cash on me!
482
00:15:30,259 --> 00:15:31,128
Okay listen, David, okay?
483
00:15:31,294 --> 00:15:33,331
I know your people love
a bargain, but you can't
484
00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:34,834
negotiate with these guys, okay?
485
00:15:34,835 --> 00:15:36,638
He's like full-on
Russian mob.
486
00:15:36,639 --> 00:15:37,641
Oh my god.
487
00:15:37,741 --> 00:15:39,845
You know what, I'm gonna
run to the bank. Alright?
488
00:15:39,846 --> 00:15:41,313
Eight thousand?
Great, no problem.
489
00:15:41,314 --> 00:15:42,985
David, I have to go to work.
490
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:44,822
Just... I'll be right back.
491
00:15:45,624 --> 00:15:49,833
So... uh, should we be worried
about rust or anything?
492
00:15:49,966 --> 00:15:50,868
Rust good.
493
00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:53,172
Give enemies tetanus.
494
00:15:56,513 --> 00:15:58,282
Eh, you sure we're going
the right way, Mark?
495
00:15:58,616 --> 00:16:00,820
We've been walking
for like sixteen hours.
496
00:16:00,821 --> 00:16:01,656
Yes, Hank, you see this?
497
00:16:01,790 --> 00:16:04,160
Moss only grows on the
north side of trees.
498
00:16:04,260 --> 00:16:06,531
So what you do is you just
follow the moss, and it'll
499
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:09,471
take you to-- takes you
in a straight line. Okay?
500
00:16:09,939 --> 00:16:11,709
Yeah, but that tree
has moss all around it.
501
00:16:12,443 --> 00:16:14,113
Holy crap, Hank.
502
00:16:14,347 --> 00:16:15,683
It's a freakin' deer city!
503
00:16:16,986 --> 00:16:17,386
Oh, yeah.
504
00:16:17,788 --> 00:16:19,357
Too bad we gotta
get help for Doug.
505
00:16:19,491 --> 00:16:21,395
He's fine, Hank, okay?
He's a survivalist.
506
00:16:21,696 --> 00:16:24,234
Not dying is like, that's
like their one rule.
507
00:16:24,569 --> 00:16:26,773
This might be our only
chance to bag a buck.
508
00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:28,809
If I come back from an
overnight hunting trip with
509
00:16:28,810 --> 00:16:31,616
no frickin' meat, pfft, I'm
never gonna hear end of it.
510
00:16:35,022 --> 00:16:35,624
Damnit!
511
00:16:35,891 --> 00:16:36,992
Hank, it's freakin' empty!
512
00:16:36,993 --> 00:16:37,661
Where are the arrows?
513
00:16:37,928 --> 00:16:40,634
Oh crap, I think they're
uh, still in Doug.
514
00:16:40,801 --> 00:16:41,669
Damn, alright,
515
00:16:41,670 --> 00:16:43,772
well I didn't want to
have to do this,
516
00:16:43,773 --> 00:16:45,677
but you left me no choice Hank,
okay? This is on you.
517
00:16:45,944 --> 00:16:49,518
Woah, you sure it's ethical
to use a grenade on a deer?
518
00:16:49,519 --> 00:16:51,054
Oh yeah, VERY ethical.
519
00:16:51,187 --> 00:16:54,326
Instant death, no suffering.
Plus they die together,
520
00:16:54,327 --> 00:16:55,597
so they go to heaven together.
521
00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:56,398
True.
522
00:16:56,833 --> 00:16:59,605
Alright, this is it.
For all the money.
523
00:17:03,079 --> 00:17:04,079
Oh crap!
Fire in the hole!
524
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:05,283
Let's go go go go!
525
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,811
Welcome back to
Sunrise Philadelphia.
526
00:17:19,812 --> 00:17:21,816
Denise, are you into gardening?
527
00:17:22,050 --> 00:17:23,352
Oh, no, Howard,
528
00:17:23,486 --> 00:17:26,057
the only time my thumb is
green is when I'm using
529
00:17:26,058 --> 00:17:27,694
it to call my landscaper!
530
00:17:28,863 --> 00:17:32,570
Well, our own Tracy Mummers
is live in Glantontown to
531
00:17:32,571 --> 00:17:36,178
show us why they call
New Jersey the Garden State.
532
00:17:36,546 --> 00:17:37,213
Thanks, Howard!
533
00:17:37,447 --> 00:17:39,751
I'm here with David Jinglebells,
author of
534
00:17:39,752 --> 00:17:42,959
A New Leaf: My Journey
into Sustainable Gardening.
535
00:17:43,092 --> 00:17:45,228
David, can we start with
a little tour of your
536
00:17:45,229 --> 00:17:46,531
beautiful garden here?
537
00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:47,466
Great, sure, yeah!
538
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,539
So first up we have
a local staple.
539
00:17:49,939 --> 00:17:51,307
This is the Jersey tomato.
540
00:17:51,308 --> 00:17:54,515
Oh yes. Love those
in a Caprese salad.
541
00:17:54,715 --> 00:17:56,384
And look at these eggplants.
542
00:17:56,585 --> 00:17:57,319
Impressive.
543
00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:58,422
Oh well thank you very much!
544
00:17:58,556 --> 00:18:01,194
Yeah, these are actually
Japanese eggplants, which are
545
00:18:01,394 --> 00:18:03,198
a fantastic meat substitute.
546
00:18:03,398 --> 00:18:05,736
You get the texture of meat,
but without the murder.
547
00:18:06,472 --> 00:18:07,072
Oh!
548
00:18:07,942 --> 00:18:08,375
Oh, wow.
549
00:18:08,910 --> 00:18:11,716
I think a deer just got
stuck on your fence.
550
00:18:13,820 --> 00:18:14,688
Oh, god!
551
00:18:15,356 --> 00:18:15,823
Oh, no!
552
00:18:17,527 --> 00:18:19,496
Oh, god! Please--
553
00:18:22,437 --> 00:18:23,539
Oh, deer.
554
00:18:24,207 --> 00:18:25,409
That's not good.
555
00:18:29,117 --> 00:18:31,388
Ah, fricken A. I think
we're back at the campsite.
556
00:18:31,656 --> 00:18:33,993
Wait, did we just walk all
the way around the Earth?
557
00:18:35,764 --> 00:18:37,133
Look, Doug's getting help!
558
00:18:41,943 --> 00:18:43,881
Yeah, uh. I think
he's dead, Hank.
559
00:18:44,014 --> 00:18:45,149
Oh, jeez.
560
00:18:45,282 --> 00:18:46,151
Hank, I killed the guy.
561
00:18:46,285 --> 00:18:47,653
I freaking killed the guy, okay?
562
00:18:47,654 --> 00:18:48,488
I'm going to jail.
563
00:18:48,856 --> 00:18:50,026
Maybe Tammy was right.
564
00:18:50,126 --> 00:18:51,730
Yeah, about Doug killing Janine?
565
00:18:51,997 --> 00:18:54,768
No, about bo hu-- wait a minute-
YEAH.
566
00:18:55,002 --> 00:18:56,839
Yeah! About Doug killing Janine!
567
00:18:57,406 --> 00:19:00,747
Cause if Doug did it, then I
didn't just kill some guy...
568
00:19:00,748 --> 00:19:02,150
I killed a murderer!
569
00:19:02,317 --> 00:19:04,152
Doug is obviously a
fricken murderer!
570
00:19:04,153 --> 00:19:05,422
Okay, how's that for ethical?
571
00:19:05,557 --> 00:19:08,730
Forget bow hunter,
I'm a BOUNTY hunter.
572
00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:09,532
Wait, where you going?
573
00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:11,936
Where you think I'm going?
To get my reward!
574
00:19:15,309 --> 00:19:17,280
Yo, clean up on
aisle five, right?
575
00:19:17,413 --> 00:19:18,815
Who the hell are you?
576
00:19:18,816 --> 00:19:20,820
How you doin', uh Mark Hoagies.
Bounty hunter.
577
00:19:20,821 --> 00:19:23,157
Okay buddy well this
is an active crime scene.
578
00:19:23,158 --> 00:19:24,160
Are you authorized to be here?
579
00:19:24,394 --> 00:19:26,831
I mean considering this is my
handiwork, yeah I'd say so.
580
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,572
Hold on. Are you confessing
to killing this guy?
581
00:19:29,706 --> 00:19:32,042
I prefer to call it
neutralizing a murderer.
582
00:19:32,043 --> 00:19:33,411
But yes, that is correct.
583
00:19:37,453 --> 00:19:39,357
Well, Hoagies, uh your
little brother over
584
00:19:39,358 --> 00:19:40,626
there told us everything.
585
00:19:41,161 --> 00:19:41,928
Bastard sold me out
586
00:19:41,929 --> 00:19:42,798
for a hot dog!
587
00:19:42,965 --> 00:19:43,566
Unbelievable.
588
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,105
He says you
accidentally shot Doug,
589
00:19:46,238 --> 00:19:49,210
which by the way,
is still a serious crime.
590
00:19:49,344 --> 00:19:50,112
Dammit, Hank.
591
00:19:50,212 --> 00:19:51,480
But, he also gathered the
592
00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:53,118
smoking gun evidence we
593
00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:54,454
needed to close this case.
594
00:19:54,655 --> 00:19:56,358
Or should I say, smoking knife?
595
00:19:56,893 --> 00:19:59,331
He found a knife in a
tree with Janine's blood.
596
00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:02,002
So how about we agree
this was self defense
597
00:20:02,003 --> 00:20:03,573
and call it a day, eh?
598
00:20:03,940 --> 00:20:05,544
Hmmm. Self defense?
599
00:20:05,677 --> 00:20:06,345
Interesting.
600
00:20:06,846 --> 00:20:08,382
How would that affect
the reward money?
601
00:20:08,617 --> 00:20:10,620
Your reward is
not going to jail.
602
00:20:10,621 --> 00:20:12,958
Now get the hell out of here
before I change my mind.
603
00:20:14,060 --> 00:20:14,562
Deal.
604
00:20:15,396 --> 00:20:17,266
Hey, Mernft, uh, you think
your Russian friend could
605
00:20:17,366 --> 00:20:18,570
throw me up there too?
606
00:20:19,505 --> 00:20:20,773
Come on, David it's fine, okay?
607
00:20:20,774 --> 00:20:22,510
The world's a better
place with, uh,
608
00:20:22,511 --> 00:20:24,280
a fifteen or
so less deer in it.
609
00:20:24,949 --> 00:20:27,020
Well, at least your
eggplants are intact.
610
00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:36,740
Andrea, this Caprese
salad is wonderful.
611
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:38,242
Thank you.
Better be.
612
00:20:38,376 --> 00:20:40,380
Those are eight thousand
dollar tomatoes.
613
00:20:40,681 --> 00:20:43,619
And this deer kebab is hot
dog quality let me tell you.
614
00:20:43,886 --> 00:20:44,955
Uh, thanks?
615
00:20:44,956 --> 00:20:46,558
Yeah David. You killed it.
616
00:20:46,559 --> 00:20:48,262
Believe me, I am aware Mark.
617
00:20:48,395 --> 00:20:49,765
You gotta try it
David, come on.
618
00:20:50,399 --> 00:20:51,468
Sure, why not.
619
00:20:52,972 --> 00:20:54,641
Hmm. Not bad, actually.
620
00:20:54,976 --> 00:20:55,409
Wow.
621
00:20:55,544 --> 00:20:56,978
And thus ends David's
622
00:20:56,979 --> 00:20:58,549
four month vegetarian adventure.
623
00:20:58,783 --> 00:21:01,420
I mean, it feels like it
would be unethical NOT
624
00:21:01,421 --> 00:21:02,658
to eat it at this point.
625
00:21:02,858 --> 00:21:03,292
Right, Mark?
626
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:04,861
Actually David, you'll be happy
627
00:21:04,862 --> 00:21:06,064
to know that I no longer
628
00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:07,433
hunt innocent creatures...
629
00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:09,705
only obviously guilty ones.
630
00:21:09,905 --> 00:21:12,009
I am a bounty hunter now.
631
00:21:12,143 --> 00:21:13,479
Oh give me a break.
632
00:21:13,713 --> 00:21:14,279
No he's not.
633
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,249
Yes I am Tam.
634
00:21:15,382 --> 00:21:16,318
I think this is my calling.
635
00:21:16,652 --> 00:21:19,724
Okay, Mark. For legal reasons,
why don't we discuss this later.
636
00:21:19,725 --> 00:21:22,832
So uh, what happened
to the rest of the deer?
637
00:21:22,932 --> 00:21:25,503
Oh uh... Mernft Man
actually took 'em. Heh.
638
00:21:26,004 --> 00:21:27,006
Oh my god.
639
00:21:27,439 --> 00:21:28,777
Are you fricken kidding me?
44296
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.