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1
00:00:01,904 --> 00:00:04,977
I'm Mark Hoagies
and this is "Human Cannonball."
2
00:00:05,211 --> 00:00:06,445
Ok, Hank. Get in.
3
00:00:06,445 --> 00:00:08,718
Uh... I don't know
about this Mark.
4
00:00:08,718 --> 00:00:09,352
It's fine Hank.
5
00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:10,788
There's a safety
net right there.
6
00:00:10,788 --> 00:00:12,291
Uhhh... can we like maybe
7
00:00:12,291 --> 00:00:13,961
test it out first or something?
8
00:00:13,961 --> 00:00:15,598
Oh my god you're killing
me here, Hank, okay?
9
00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:17,535
I know what I'm doing.
I'm not Dick Cheney.
10
00:00:17,535 --> 00:00:20,474
But what if I like,
blow up or something?
11
00:00:20,474 --> 00:00:21,544
Okay, dammit! Cut!
12
00:00:21,544 --> 00:00:23,714
Mernft, can you help me here?
Is Hank gonna blow up?
13
00:00:23,714 --> 00:00:25,618
Ahh... Yeah.
I thought that was the point.
14
00:00:25,618 --> 00:00:26,987
No it's not the-- Okay,
15
00:00:26,987 --> 00:00:28,157
you know what
maybe we can try it
16
00:00:28,157 --> 00:00:28,992
with a crash test dummy.
17
00:00:28,992 --> 00:00:29,727
Oh no no.
18
00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:31,730
Those things are way
pricier than you think.
19
00:00:31,864 --> 00:00:33,467
Holy crap, a million dollars??
20
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:35,271
You know, there's actually
something you could get
21
00:00:35,271 --> 00:00:36,774
that's a lot cheaper
22
00:00:36,774 --> 00:00:38,310
and way more realistic...
23
00:00:38,310 --> 00:00:39,946
I'm talkin' inside and out.
24
00:00:39,946 --> 00:00:41,583
Damn. That thing's no joke.
25
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:44,523
Oh yeah the craftsmanship
on these things, incredible.
26
00:00:44,523 --> 00:00:47,327
I mean they get every detail
down to the fallopian tubes.
27
00:00:47,327 --> 00:00:47,962
Damn yo.
28
00:00:48,229 --> 00:00:49,900
This thing's gonna
be perfect for like,
29
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:51,904
simulating the aerodynamics.
30
00:00:51,904 --> 00:00:52,906
Alright, let's do it.
31
00:00:52,906 --> 00:00:54,075
Okay. I'm putting in the order.
32
00:00:54,075 --> 00:00:55,579
Yo Merf, you don't
think Tammy's like
33
00:00:55,579 --> 00:00:56,379
gonna get the wrong idea
34
00:00:56,581 --> 00:00:57,950
when this thing arrives
or nothing, right?
35
00:00:57,950 --> 00:00:59,719
Nah. Don't worry.
I got you.
36
00:01:03,159 --> 00:01:04,596
David Jinglebells?
37
00:01:04,596 --> 00:01:05,731
Uh. Yup that's me.
38
00:01:09,439 --> 00:01:10,173
Oh my god.
39
00:01:11,610 --> 00:01:14,181
♪ Well, I used to work
at a hot dog factory. ♪
40
00:01:14,181 --> 00:01:16,185
♪ Until them
robots came along. ♪
41
00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:17,922
♪ And now
there is no job for me ♪
42
00:01:18,056 --> 00:01:20,562
♪ But I get 3,000
bucks a month ♪
43
00:01:20,562 --> 00:01:24,503
♪ Thanks to UBI
44
00:01:24,603 --> 00:01:28,511
♪ Now we're
Universal Basic Guys. ♪
45
00:01:28,511 --> 00:01:30,380
♪ It may not
sound like much. ♪
46
00:01:30,380 --> 00:01:33,487
♪ But we're
still gonna try ♪
47
00:01:33,487 --> 00:01:38,564
♪ We're just
Universal Basic Guys ♪
48
00:01:42,806 --> 00:01:43,741
Yo... Mark.
49
00:01:43,841 --> 00:01:44,408
What's up hon?
50
00:01:44,843 --> 00:01:46,847
I'm sure you're doing
something very important
51
00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:48,116
but it would mean a lot to me
52
00:01:48,116 --> 00:01:49,586
if you could spend
some time with Darren.
53
00:01:49,586 --> 00:01:51,924
Oh absolutely, yeah.
I take a lot of pride
54
00:01:51,924 --> 00:01:52,793
in being an
involved stepdad.
55
00:01:52,959 --> 00:01:54,797
When he gets back from his dad's
we'll hang out.
56
00:01:54,797 --> 00:01:55,464
We'll do a little bonding.
57
00:01:55,464 --> 00:01:57,869
Uh. He's been here since April.
58
00:01:57,869 --> 00:01:59,405
Oh get out of here
are you serious?
59
00:01:59,405 --> 00:02:00,407
I didn't even notice him.
60
00:02:00,407 --> 00:02:02,178
Exactly. He's barely
left his room
61
00:02:02,178 --> 00:02:03,413
in like three days.
62
00:02:03,547 --> 00:02:05,417
I'm worried he's gonna spend
the whole summer up there
63
00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:06,787
and not make any friends.
64
00:02:06,787 --> 00:02:08,056
No problem, Tam, okay.
65
00:02:08,056 --> 00:02:09,660
I'll hang out with him.
We'll get outside,
66
00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:11,930
we'll make some friends,
we'll get into some trouble.
67
00:02:11,930 --> 00:02:13,466
Okay maybe not that last part.
68
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:14,903
C'mon, Tam.
Maybe the reason
69
00:02:14,903 --> 00:02:16,339
he's not making any friends
70
00:02:16,339 --> 00:02:17,842
is because you're a bit of a,
71
00:02:17,842 --> 00:02:19,479
you know, helicopter parent.
72
00:02:19,479 --> 00:02:20,280
I am not.
73
00:02:20,481 --> 00:02:22,217
I just don't want yous
to do anything stupid.
74
00:02:22,217 --> 00:02:23,053
Cannon's loaded.
75
00:02:23,053 --> 00:02:25,524
Me? Do something stupid?!
PFFFFT!!!
76
00:02:25,524 --> 00:02:26,760
I have fun, Tam,
77
00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:30,668
but I do not put the
people I love at risk.
78
00:02:30,768 --> 00:02:31,770
!
79
00:02:35,912 --> 00:02:37,214
!
- Woah.
80
00:02:37,849 --> 00:02:39,184
That was awesome.
81
00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:41,156
What's up Buddy?
82
00:02:41,289 --> 00:02:41,891
Hey Mark.
83
00:02:41,991 --> 00:02:43,159
You got any interest in hanging
84
00:02:43,159 --> 00:02:44,530
out with me and Uncle Hank?
85
00:02:44,530 --> 00:02:45,030
No thanks.
86
00:02:45,230 --> 00:02:46,399
I don't want to play with guns.
87
00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:47,769
It's not a gun, Darren.
88
00:02:47,769 --> 00:02:48,303
It's a cannon.
89
00:02:48,303 --> 00:02:49,873
A cannon is a gun.
90
00:02:49,873 --> 00:02:51,308
No, it's a classic...
91
00:02:51,308 --> 00:02:53,480
medieval ball shooting... tool.
92
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:54,348
Oh would you look at this?
93
00:02:54,448 --> 00:02:57,421
A cannon is a 'large
caliber gun classified
94
00:02:57,421 --> 00:02:58,189
as a type of artillery.'
95
00:02:58,323 --> 00:02:59,993
Oh c'mon. You can't
trust the internet
96
00:02:59,993 --> 00:03:00,995
Darren, okay?
97
00:03:00,995 --> 00:03:02,198
You know how you really learn?
98
00:03:02,198 --> 00:03:04,836
By going outside and
doing experiences.
99
00:03:05,136 --> 00:03:07,007
Yo. You wanna throw
this bad boy around?
100
00:03:07,007 --> 00:03:08,076
Please put that back.
101
00:03:08,076 --> 00:03:08,677
No Darren,
102
00:03:09,211 --> 00:03:11,149
this boomerang is a classic toy.
We gotta play with it!
103
00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:12,686
It's a decorative artifact.
104
00:03:12,686 --> 00:03:14,757
My dad got me that
when he was in Australia.
105
00:03:14,757 --> 00:03:16,326
Okay what's the point
of having a boomerang
106
00:03:16,326 --> 00:03:17,695
if you're not gonna
throw it Darren?
107
00:03:17,695 --> 00:03:19,699
If we do this,
will you leave me alone?
108
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,202
Maybe.
109
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:23,406
Andrea this is a mistake.
I swear.
110
00:03:23,406 --> 00:03:24,843
Uh can you just
leave it in the box?
111
00:03:24,843 --> 00:03:27,816
Oh no, sir.
You ordered white glove service.
112
00:03:28,116 --> 00:03:29,919
You don't even have
to touch the box...
113
00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:31,924
Well, this box.
114
00:03:31,924 --> 00:03:33,426
Huh- What?!
115
00:03:35,598 --> 00:03:37,803
Are you trying to send
me a message, here?
116
00:03:37,803 --> 00:03:38,938
What? No!
117
00:03:38,938 --> 00:03:40,107
You want it in the bedroom?
118
00:03:40,207 --> 00:03:41,877
Can you just take it
back with you please?
119
00:03:41,877 --> 00:03:42,545
If you want to return it,
120
00:03:42,545 --> 00:03:44,314
there's a QR code on the back
121
00:03:44,314 --> 00:03:45,819
that you can get all the info.
122
00:03:45,819 --> 00:03:46,686
Oh my god.
123
00:03:46,686 --> 00:03:47,722
Maybe next time
124
00:03:47,722 --> 00:03:50,694
pick a delivery window
where your wife isn't home.
125
00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,270
It's gotta be some
kind of mistake
126
00:03:55,270 --> 00:03:56,774
or practical joke
or something.
127
00:03:56,774 --> 00:03:58,577
Pretty expensive
practical joke...
128
00:03:58,577 --> 00:04:00,648
“Hello David Jinglebells ”.
129
00:04:00,648 --> 00:04:03,821
“Congratulations on
your new Real Babe,
130
00:04:03,821 --> 00:04:06,026
the ultimate pleasure
doll experience. ”
131
00:04:06,026 --> 00:04:06,459
Heh?!
132
00:04:06,761 --> 00:04:07,261
“ We're going to walk you
133
00:04:07,696 --> 00:04:09,398
through all the intimate
details... ”
134
00:04:09,398 --> 00:04:10,133
Oh god. Skip!
135
00:04:10,535 --> 00:04:13,272
“Beneath the natural silicon
exterior is our new,
136
00:04:13,272 --> 00:04:14,910
state of the art self-heating,
137
00:04:14,910 --> 00:04:15,745
strawberry flavored- ”
138
00:04:15,745 --> 00:04:16,212
Skip!
139
00:04:16,212 --> 00:04:16,847
What? Ew.
140
00:04:16,847 --> 00:04:17,648
Skip please! Uh,
141
00:04:17,648 --> 00:04:18,918
tell me how to send you back!
142
00:04:18,918 --> 00:04:19,519
Send back!
143
00:04:19,786 --> 00:04:21,790
“Nano-fiber polyester
landing stri--
144
00:04:21,790 --> 00:04:23,093
Functional lactating--
145
00:04:23,093 --> 00:04:24,362
Tentacle attachments--
146
00:04:24,462 --> 00:04:25,865
Just load the milk
into the cartridge-- ”
147
00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:26,466
Wow David.
148
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,571
Really splurged on
the trim package.
149
00:04:28,571 --> 00:04:31,510
“Enter promo code
MothersDay for 30% off
150
00:04:31,510 --> 00:04:34,081
our new pregnant
belly expansion pack! ”
151
00:04:34,081 --> 00:04:35,685
So the fun thing
about a boomerang
152
00:04:35,685 --> 00:04:37,756
is that when you throw it,
it comes back.
153
00:04:37,756 --> 00:04:39,559
Which makes it a very
ironic gift choice
154
00:04:39,559 --> 00:04:40,426
coming from your father.
155
00:04:40,628 --> 00:04:42,498
Okay Darren so here's
what you're gonna do okay?
156
00:04:42,498 --> 00:04:45,070
You want the flat side
against your palm.
157
00:04:45,070 --> 00:04:45,871
Just like this okay?
158
00:04:45,871 --> 00:04:47,140
And then you make sure
the curvature
159
00:04:47,407 --> 00:04:49,278
is facing the direction
you're looking to throw.
160
00:04:49,278 --> 00:04:52,150
Okay, you angle your arm
45 degrees on release,
161
00:04:52,150 --> 00:04:53,153
and then you're
just gonna let it
162
00:04:53,153 --> 00:04:54,789
roll off your fingers, okay?
163
00:04:54,789 --> 00:04:55,591
Here we go.
164
00:04:56,392 --> 00:04:57,562
Okay, there we go.
165
00:04:57,562 --> 00:04:59,264
Okay you see it?
No? Don't worry
166
00:04:59,264 --> 00:05:01,468
it's gonna come back so...
any minute now.
167
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:02,304
Keep an eye out,
168
00:05:02,304 --> 00:05:03,240
keep an eye out.
169
00:05:03,373 --> 00:05:04,742
It'll sneak up on you.
170
00:05:06,613 --> 00:05:08,349
Ugh, that's the end of that.
171
00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:09,318
Thank you Mark.
172
00:05:09,318 --> 00:05:11,255
Uh uh.
No way, Jose.
173
00:05:11,255 --> 00:05:13,293
We are going on an adventure!
174
00:05:13,293 --> 00:05:14,061
Ugh.
175
00:05:15,196 --> 00:05:16,734
If we somehow find this thing,
176
00:05:16,734 --> 00:05:18,303
it's going right
back on my wall.
177
00:05:18,303 --> 00:05:19,807
Uh uh. Attitude shift.
178
00:05:19,807 --> 00:05:20,440
We're gonna find it.
179
00:05:20,742 --> 00:05:21,943
And then...
we're gonna throw it again.
180
00:05:25,685 --> 00:05:26,319
Bingo.
181
00:05:26,319 --> 00:05:27,989
See that broken window up there?
182
00:05:27,989 --> 00:05:28,857
I bet it's in there.
183
00:05:29,191 --> 00:05:31,429
I gotta say, Darren, okay
that was a hell of a throw.
184
00:05:31,429 --> 00:05:33,199
If that damn house
wasn't in the way
185
00:05:33,199 --> 00:05:34,435
it would have
definitely come back.
186
00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:35,303
This is so sketch.
187
00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:37,341
So we're just gonna
knock on the door?
188
00:05:37,576 --> 00:05:38,977
Yeah. What's the
worst that can happen,
189
00:05:38,977 --> 00:05:40,413
okay, we make some new friends?
190
00:05:40,413 --> 00:05:40,948
Now in sales,
191
00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:43,419
this is what we refer to as a
“cold call ” okay?
192
00:05:43,419 --> 00:05:45,223
Hank is gonna make small talk
193
00:05:45,223 --> 00:05:46,660
while you and I,
we sneak upstairs
194
00:05:46,660 --> 00:05:47,829
and we get the boomerang.
195
00:05:47,929 --> 00:05:50,834
Or we can just apologize
and ask them to get it.
196
00:05:50,834 --> 00:05:52,605
You want to let whatever
weirdos live in this house
197
00:05:52,605 --> 00:05:54,174
know we broke their window?
198
00:05:54,174 --> 00:05:55,744
Oh yo, wow!?
199
00:05:55,744 --> 00:05:56,479
I mean... hi.
200
00:05:56,479 --> 00:05:57,849
I mean... hello, ma'am.
201
00:05:57,849 --> 00:05:59,284
My name's Mark. I was
just wondering if-
202
00:05:59,284 --> 00:06:02,057
What did you say about a window?
203
00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:03,159
Oh I was just saying that uh...
204
00:06:03,159 --> 00:06:05,163
You know I love some
of the trim work
205
00:06:05,163 --> 00:06:05,865
on these windows-
206
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:06,800
Go away!
207
00:06:08,036 --> 00:06:09,906
Darren, now that's
called "playing hardball"
208
00:06:09,906 --> 00:06:10,641
no problem.
209
00:06:10,841 --> 00:06:13,012
Every "no" brings you
closer to a "yes."
210
00:06:14,850 --> 00:06:15,316
Yes?
211
00:06:15,316 --> 00:06:16,587
Oh hey boss, so,
212
00:06:16,587 --> 00:06:17,889
you know we've been out hiking
213
00:06:17,889 --> 00:06:20,193
and I really gotta
use the bathroom, so--
214
00:06:20,193 --> 00:06:21,897
Go in the woods!
215
00:06:22,264 --> 00:06:23,133
You know the thing is,
216
00:06:23,266 --> 00:06:26,272
it's kind of a number
two situation and um...
217
00:06:26,272 --> 00:06:27,975
and I'm allergic to leaves so.
218
00:06:27,975 --> 00:06:28,711
You are?
219
00:06:28,711 --> 00:06:29,144
Hank!
220
00:06:29,278 --> 00:06:30,848
One moment, please.
221
00:06:31,382 --> 00:06:33,955
The man just wants
to use the bathroom.
222
00:06:33,955 --> 00:06:34,388
No!
223
00:06:34,388 --> 00:06:35,658
Come on, Deborah.
224
00:06:35,658 --> 00:06:37,796
We haven't had a guest in ages.
225
00:06:37,896 --> 00:06:39,197
Lest you forget,
226
00:06:39,197 --> 00:06:43,006
there's a reason we don't
have guests, Charles.
227
00:06:43,006 --> 00:06:44,509
Oh relax.
228
00:06:45,109 --> 00:06:46,245
Down the hall.
229
00:06:46,245 --> 00:06:47,848
First door on your right.
230
00:06:47,848 --> 00:06:50,688
Actually, is there a
upstairs bathroom I can use?
231
00:06:50,688 --> 00:06:51,489
I need a little privacy.
232
00:06:51,623 --> 00:06:53,694
I got a little, had
a whole two burgers
233
00:06:53,694 --> 00:06:55,497
for breakfast
situation happening,
234
00:06:55,497 --> 00:06:56,365
you know what I mean.
235
00:06:56,365 --> 00:06:56,800
No!
236
00:06:56,933 --> 00:06:58,671
Don't be rude, Deborah.
237
00:06:58,671 --> 00:07:02,444
You're welcome to use the
upstairs hallway bathroom.
238
00:07:02,444 --> 00:07:03,514
Really appreciate it.
239
00:07:03,514 --> 00:07:04,048
C'mon Dar.
240
00:07:04,214 --> 00:07:06,319
Why does the boy need to come?
241
00:07:06,319 --> 00:07:07,888
Oh uh... Darren here?
242
00:07:07,888 --> 00:07:08,891
He's my uh...
243
00:07:08,891 --> 00:07:10,127
he's my wipe boy.
244
00:07:10,127 --> 00:07:11,395
Wipe boy?
245
00:07:11,395 --> 00:07:11,997
What?
246
00:07:11,997 --> 00:07:14,335
I'd love to have a wipe boy.
247
00:07:14,335 --> 00:07:14,869
Eww!
248
00:07:15,337 --> 00:07:17,241
Andrea, how many times
do I have to tell you?
249
00:07:17,241 --> 00:07:18,611
I didn't order this, okay?!
250
00:07:18,611 --> 00:07:20,013
David, it's fine.
251
00:07:20,013 --> 00:07:22,552
In fact, I'm thinking about
ordering my own doll...
252
00:07:22,552 --> 00:07:25,056
Oh wow, this one looks
just like The Rock.
253
00:07:25,056 --> 00:07:26,358
Okay, enough. I'll throw it out.
254
00:07:26,358 --> 00:07:27,995
Uh, you cannot put
that in our trash.
255
00:07:27,995 --> 00:07:28,797
Are you insane?
256
00:07:28,897 --> 00:07:30,935
Ok well I'll return
it this afternoon.
257
00:07:30,935 --> 00:07:31,904
Fine, but until then
258
00:07:31,904 --> 00:07:33,841
can you move it out
of the living room?
259
00:07:33,841 --> 00:07:36,045
The thing weighs
like 120 pounds.
260
00:07:36,045 --> 00:07:37,247
Is it that unbearable to ju-
261
00:07:38,482 --> 00:07:39,553
I will move it.
262
00:07:39,553 --> 00:07:40,754
Yes, I will move it.
263
00:07:40,921 --> 00:07:41,690
Argh!
264
00:07:41,991 --> 00:07:44,127
Come on, let's go.
265
00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:46,933
Huh!
266
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,203
Cool place.
267
00:07:48,203 --> 00:07:49,038
Thanks.
268
00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:50,340
So when was this built?
269
00:07:50,340 --> 00:07:52,343
Like the 50s or something?
270
00:07:52,343 --> 00:07:54,849
1730s actually.
271
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,452
Woah. 1730s?
272
00:07:56,653 --> 00:07:58,590
I didn't even know
houses were invented yet.
273
00:07:58,757 --> 00:08:01,128
So uh,
what do you do for work?
274
00:08:01,128 --> 00:08:05,203
We are the custodians
of something evil-
275
00:08:05,203 --> 00:08:05,838
Enough!
276
00:08:06,005 --> 00:08:08,275
What's taking your
friends so long?
277
00:08:10,146 --> 00:08:10,782
Yo Dar,
278
00:08:10,882 --> 00:08:12,083
that's gotta be the attic right?
279
00:08:12,083 --> 00:08:12,785
Oh cool,
280
00:08:13,052 --> 00:08:14,589
the chained up room
in a creepy-ass house.
281
00:08:14,589 --> 00:08:16,024
Sounds like a great idea.
282
00:08:16,024 --> 00:08:16,726
C'mon, Darren.
283
00:08:16,726 --> 00:08:17,628
We're having an adventure.
284
00:08:17,995 --> 00:08:19,732
“You looking for your boomerang?
285
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,168
I got it in here.
286
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:22,572
Just unlock the door. ”
287
00:08:22,872 --> 00:08:24,576
Ahh... Wh--
What was that?
288
00:08:24,576 --> 00:08:26,312
Darren, you heard
that creepy voice.
289
00:08:26,312 --> 00:08:27,515
It's got the boomerang.
290
00:08:29,451 --> 00:08:31,489
“Everything okay up there? ”
291
00:08:31,489 --> 00:08:32,959
Oh yeah! All good!
292
00:08:32,959 --> 00:08:33,761
All good! Sorry...
293
00:08:33,761 --> 00:08:35,964
just finishing wiping up.
294
00:08:35,964 --> 00:08:36,767
C'mon Darren!
295
00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:38,069
Get that dingleberry!
296
00:08:39,138 --> 00:08:40,306
Alright let's see here.
297
00:08:40,941 --> 00:08:41,709
!
298
00:08:42,511 --> 00:08:43,379
“See ya! ”
299
00:08:46,218 --> 00:08:47,721
Oh my.
300
00:08:48,022 --> 00:08:49,257
!
301
00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:53,332
Welp. Happy, Charles?
302
00:08:53,332 --> 00:08:55,370
I told you this would happen!
303
00:08:55,370 --> 00:08:59,044
Do you have any idea
what you've done!?
304
00:08:59,044 --> 00:09:01,248
Uh. I guess I let your
pet goat bat thing out?
305
00:09:01,248 --> 00:09:01,983
I mean who cares.
306
00:09:01,983 --> 00:09:03,253
No, you fool!
307
00:09:03,654 --> 00:09:05,423
You've just unleashed...
308
00:09:05,423 --> 00:09:07,928
The Jersey Devil!
309
00:09:11,102 --> 00:09:13,105
So when you say "unleashed
the Jersey Devil,"
310
00:09:13,105 --> 00:09:14,676
is that like a good
thing or a bad thing?
311
00:09:14,676 --> 00:09:16,378
The hellish beast
312
00:09:16,378 --> 00:09:19,317
will reign terror
upon our community.
313
00:09:19,552 --> 00:09:22,358
Its wrath knows no bounds!
314
00:09:22,358 --> 00:09:24,061
Okay, so it's a bad thing.
315
00:09:24,061 --> 00:09:25,798
So uh...
what are we gonna do?
316
00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:28,469
The only way to catch this beast
317
00:09:28,469 --> 00:09:30,274
is through the dark sacrament.
318
00:09:30,642 --> 00:09:33,346
We must head to the
ceremonial circle
319
00:09:33,346 --> 00:09:35,851
and build a pyre of white cedar.
320
00:09:35,851 --> 00:09:38,824
The incantations
will lure the devil
321
00:09:38,824 --> 00:09:40,293
to the blood sacrifice.
322
00:09:40,293 --> 00:09:40,828
What the hell...
323
00:09:40,828 --> 00:09:42,665
and upon his satiation
324
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:45,170
he will sleep for three days-
325
00:09:45,170 --> 00:09:46,606
Pfft! Blood sacrifice?
326
00:09:46,606 --> 00:09:47,975
Yeah, that's never gonna work.
327
00:09:47,975 --> 00:09:48,644
Oh yeah?
328
00:09:48,644 --> 00:09:50,480
You're gonna tell us,
329
00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:53,286
the guardian family
of this abomination
330
00:09:53,286 --> 00:09:54,655
for over 300 years,
331
00:09:54,655 --> 00:09:56,593
how to find the Jersey Devil??
332
00:09:56,593 --> 00:09:57,662
Uh... I got news for you.
333
00:09:57,662 --> 00:09:59,432
It's a friggin
flying goat, okay?
334
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,100
How hard can it be?
335
00:10:00,535 --> 00:10:02,371
You look in the sky for a
friggin goat with wings.
336
00:10:02,371 --> 00:10:03,874
Ok genius.
337
00:10:03,874 --> 00:10:05,945
Why don't you go do that?
338
00:10:06,112 --> 00:10:08,584
But since “You ”
unleashed this horror,
339
00:10:08,584 --> 00:10:10,386
one of you must stay back...
340
00:10:10,688 --> 00:10:12,892
for the sacrifice.
341
00:10:12,892 --> 00:10:14,462
Uh yeah, that's all you Mark.
342
00:10:14,462 --> 00:10:15,564
Okay whatever lady.
343
00:10:15,564 --> 00:10:16,432
Okay Hank, can
you just deal with
344
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:18,770
whatever cockamamie
nonsense they wanna do?
345
00:10:18,770 --> 00:10:19,906
You got it, Mark.
346
00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:26,786
David.
347
00:10:26,953 --> 00:10:27,888
Focus.
348
00:10:32,097 --> 00:10:33,833
Argh... argh
349
00:10:35,370 --> 00:10:36,004
Next.
350
00:10:36,807 --> 00:10:37,909
Sorry, it's a little heavy.
351
00:10:37,909 --> 00:10:39,612
Okay looks like we got a...
352
00:10:39,612 --> 00:10:41,550
Real Babe doll? -Uhp! Yes.
353
00:10:41,550 --> 00:10:43,621
It was shipped to me by mistake.
354
00:10:43,621 --> 00:10:44,856
Hm. Sure.
355
00:10:44,856 --> 00:10:47,294
So there's a whole
process for these things.
356
00:10:47,294 --> 00:10:48,564
It's gonna be a few minutes.
357
00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:49,566
Connor!
358
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:50,199
What's up?
359
00:10:50,199 --> 00:10:50,801
I need a hand!
360
00:10:51,168 --> 00:10:53,874
I got a customer returning
a Real Babe Doll!
361
00:10:54,174 --> 00:10:54,809
A what?
362
00:10:54,809 --> 00:10:56,178
A real babe doll.
363
00:10:56,178 --> 00:10:58,449
It's one of those
fancy lifelike sex-
364
00:10:58,449 --> 00:10:59,886
Hey could you not?
365
00:10:59,886 --> 00:11:01,923
Can you just come
over here for a sec?
366
00:11:01,923 --> 00:11:03,392
And bring the scissors.
367
00:11:03,392 --> 00:11:04,562
Is this necessary?
368
00:11:04,562 --> 00:11:06,566
If you want to return it, yes.
369
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,102
Alright, let's just go.
370
00:11:14,649 --> 00:11:16,218
So uh,
where we headed?
371
00:11:16,418 --> 00:11:18,523
The ceremonial circle.
372
00:11:18,523 --> 00:11:19,959
Ooh. Sounds fun.
373
00:11:19,959 --> 00:11:22,732
Well.
Sounds more fun than it is.
374
00:11:22,732 --> 00:11:24,401
Will you shut up, Charles?
375
00:11:24,401 --> 00:11:25,036
What?
376
00:11:25,504 --> 00:11:28,409
It's nice to speak to someone
pleasant for a change.
377
00:11:28,910 --> 00:11:31,716
You don't name the chicken
you're going to slaughter.
378
00:11:31,716 --> 00:11:33,052
Get off my back.
379
00:11:35,289 --> 00:11:36,927
Well, here we are.
380
00:11:36,927 --> 00:11:38,997
You sure this is the place?
381
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,839
So we know this thing
is half bat, half goat.
382
00:11:42,839 --> 00:11:45,143
Now what do bats eat?
Okay they eat berries.
383
00:11:45,143 --> 00:11:46,580
What do goats eat?
384
00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:47,181
Trash.
385
00:11:47,682 --> 00:11:50,386
So, what we need to do
is find a berry junkyard. Okay?
386
00:11:50,386 --> 00:11:52,223
Ooh- maybe a berry landfill?
387
00:11:52,658 --> 00:11:53,660
It's pointless.
388
00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:54,830
The thing is
probably deep in the
389
00:11:54,830 --> 00:11:55,964
Pine Barrens at this point.
390
00:11:56,231 --> 00:11:58,537
C'mon Darren, okay.
It's gonna take time and skill,
391
00:11:58,537 --> 00:12:00,140
but we're gonna
hunt this thing down
392
00:12:00,140 --> 00:12:02,945
and get that boomerang back
if it's the last thing I do
393
00:12:02,945 --> 00:12:04,448
before I throw it again.
394
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,387
Woah, yo!
Well speak of the devil!
395
00:12:07,387 --> 00:12:08,824
I told you it'd be easy Dar!
396
00:12:08,824 --> 00:12:09,825
Sup dudes.
397
00:12:10,259 --> 00:12:11,896
Can I come in?
I got your boomerang?
398
00:12:11,896 --> 00:12:13,767
What do you think, Dar?
Gotta let him in, right?
399
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,202
Uh. No. Are you dumb?
400
00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:18,076
Come on. He can't be that bad.
He brought the boomerang.
401
00:12:18,076 --> 00:12:19,010
I gotcha.
402
00:12:19,612 --> 00:12:20,748
Please don't hurt us!
403
00:12:20,748 --> 00:12:21,917
Dude what? What're
you talking about?
404
00:12:21,917 --> 00:12:22,818
Why would I hurt you?
405
00:12:23,419 --> 00:12:25,356
But aren't you like
the devil or something?
406
00:12:25,356 --> 00:12:27,327
Well you know I'm not
“the ” devil.
407
00:12:27,427 --> 00:12:28,329
That's my dad.
408
00:12:28,329 --> 00:12:28,697
Uh.
409
00:12:28,797 --> 00:12:29,297
I just wanted to
410
00:12:29,497 --> 00:12:30,734
thank you guys
for freeing me.
411
00:12:30,734 --> 00:12:31,536
Ah. Least we could do.
412
00:12:31,536 --> 00:12:32,403
I mean your guardians
seemed like
413
00:12:32,604 --> 00:12:34,676
a couple of whack- a-doos,
you know what I mean?
414
00:12:34,676 --> 00:12:36,011
Oh dude, tell me about it.
415
00:12:36,178 --> 00:12:37,948
Yeah, they keep me
locked up in the attic
416
00:12:37,948 --> 00:12:38,884
away from people,
417
00:12:39,151 --> 00:12:40,621
so you know I never get
to make any friends.
418
00:12:40,621 --> 00:12:42,257
But you guys seem cool.
419
00:12:42,692 --> 00:12:46,633
That dingleberry bit that was--
oh my god, had me dying.
420
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:47,868
- I was dying!
- Oh yeah, you like that?
421
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,371
Yo that was a good one, right?
422
00:12:49,371 --> 00:12:50,240
You like that right?
423
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:51,174
Yeah that was good.
424
00:12:51,174 --> 00:12:52,043
Yeah totally.
425
00:12:52,143 --> 00:12:54,783
So would it be cool if
I crash here for a bit?
426
00:12:54,783 --> 00:12:55,985
Ah no problem, yeah.
427
00:12:55,985 --> 00:12:58,489
Um... are you sure
about this, Mark?
428
00:12:58,489 --> 00:12:59,024
Yes Darren, okay.
429
00:12:59,592 --> 00:13:01,729
I know you 're not used to
meeting new people "IRL"
430
00:13:01,729 --> 00:13:03,901
but this guy's obviously cool.
Don't worry,
431
00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:06,439
I'll talk to your mom.
You guys have fun.
432
00:13:06,439 --> 00:13:07,675
I'll get out of your hair.
433
00:13:07,675 --> 00:13:09,044
Alright Mark, see ya.
434
00:13:09,311 --> 00:13:10,046
So, uh,
435
00:13:10,346 --> 00:13:12,050
what do you like to
do on your computer?
436
00:13:12,552 --> 00:13:13,486
Hey, hun.
437
00:13:13,486 --> 00:13:14,989
So, how 'd it go today?
438
00:13:14,989 --> 00:13:16,793
Let's see,
we played outside,
439
00:13:16,793 --> 00:13:18,096
met some new neighbors...
440
00:13:18,096 --> 00:13:20,499
Oh, and ah...
Darren made a new friend.
441
00:13:20,499 --> 00:13:21,168
So yeah,
442
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:22,236
you could say it
went pretty well.
443
00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:24,007
Get out of here! That's great.
444
00:13:24,007 --> 00:13:24,642
Who's the friend?
445
00:13:25,009 --> 00:13:27,013
He's some neighbor kid.
You know, seems cool.
446
00:13:27,013 --> 00:13:29,017
He's actually upstairs in
Darren's room right now.
447
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:31,189
Oh wow!
I should make them some snacks.
448
00:13:31,189 --> 00:13:33,192
You know if this kid's
got any allergies?
449
00:13:33,192 --> 00:13:35,765
Nah. Seems like the kind
of guy who'll eat anything.
450
00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:37,467
Oh yeah this guy's pretty funny.
451
00:13:37,467 --> 00:13:39,071
He mostly streams Farm Crossing
452
00:13:39,071 --> 00:13:40,841
but he's always
like, super baked.
453
00:13:40,841 --> 00:13:42,277
Oh dude, that's hilarious.
454
00:13:42,277 --> 00:13:44,849
If you want I can send you a
bunch of my favorite streamers.
455
00:13:44,849 --> 00:13:45,584
Oh thanks man,
456
00:13:45,685 --> 00:13:47,521
but you know we
don't get internet
457
00:13:47,521 --> 00:13:48,791
at our creepy old house so.
458
00:13:48,791 --> 00:13:50,594
Hmmm. I mean you're
not that far away.
459
00:13:50,594 --> 00:13:51,529
I can just like,
460
00:13:51,529 --> 00:13:52,531
get a WiFi amplifier.
461
00:13:52,531 --> 00:13:54,836
Oh dude are you serious?
That would be sick!
462
00:13:54,836 --> 00:13:56,372
Hey there kids I made you-
463
00:13:56,372 --> 00:13:57,007
Oh my god!
464
00:13:57,007 --> 00:13:58,677
Hey Mom! This is JD.
465
00:13:58,677 --> 00:13:59,813
Oh hey Ms. Hoagies.
466
00:13:59,813 --> 00:14:01,381
Uh... hi.
467
00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:03,119
Mark!?
468
00:14:03,319 --> 00:14:05,423
What is that “Thing ”
in Darren's room?
469
00:14:05,423 --> 00:14:08,062
It's not a “Thing ” Tam.
It's the Jersey Devil.
470
00:14:08,062 --> 00:14:10,132
What!?
You left my son alone
471
00:14:10,132 --> 00:14:11,803
in a room with the Jersey Devil.
472
00:14:11,803 --> 00:14:14,509
Woah woah woah. That's not fair,
I consider him a son too, Tammy.
473
00:14:14,509 --> 00:14:17,515
Darren cannot be friends
with a “Satanic Beast ”!
474
00:14:17,515 --> 00:14:18,115
C'mon Tam.
475
00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:19,384
You gotta keep an
open mind here.
476
00:14:19,652 --> 00:14:21,254
It's not like Darren's the
most normal kid either.
477
00:14:21,254 --> 00:14:22,390
What the hell does that mean?
478
00:14:22,390 --> 00:14:23,125
I'm just saying.
479
00:14:23,259 --> 00:14:25,329
He's not Zack
fricken Morris, okay?
480
00:14:25,329 --> 00:14:27,702
Hate to break it to you but
if you expect his friends
481
00:14:27,702 --> 00:14:29,237
to look like AC Slater,
482
00:14:29,237 --> 00:14:31,175
gonna be a little
disappointed Tam.
483
00:14:31,175 --> 00:14:31,743
Mark.
484
00:14:31,843 --> 00:14:33,045
Get up there and tell that
485
00:14:33,045 --> 00:14:34,549
thing it needs to leave.
486
00:14:34,549 --> 00:14:35,785
Ughh fine.
487
00:14:35,785 --> 00:14:37,253
I'll be the bad cop.
488
00:14:37,921 --> 00:14:38,523
Hey Dar?
489
00:14:38,523 --> 00:14:39,925
Can I talk to you for a sec?
490
00:14:39,925 --> 00:14:41,563
Uh, in private if that's cool.
491
00:14:41,563 --> 00:14:42,363
Oh yeah no problem.
492
00:14:42,598 --> 00:14:45,069
You know I was just about
to go hit the vape so.
493
00:14:45,805 --> 00:14:48,242
So your mother wants
me to talk to you
494
00:14:48,242 --> 00:14:51,281
because she feels that
certain friends of yours,
495
00:14:51,281 --> 00:14:54,054
new friends,
may not be the best kind of...
496
00:14:54,054 --> 00:14:56,760
thing to be hanging out with.
You know your mother pfft.
497
00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:59,063
What!? Oh come on!
He's actually cool.
498
00:14:59,063 --> 00:15:00,734
Listen I hear you
buddy okay but-
499
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,170
Ugh, I finally make a friend
500
00:15:02,170 --> 00:15:03,405
and now I can't be
friends with him!
501
00:15:03,405 --> 00:15:05,143
Listen, you know how your
mom is with the whole
502
00:15:05,143 --> 00:15:07,414
"I don't like the
devil" nonsense,
503
00:15:07,414 --> 00:15:08,015
you know. Forget it!
504
00:15:08,015 --> 00:15:09,151
Screw you both!
505
00:15:09,151 --> 00:15:11,857
Tell mom I'm out
“doing ” experiences.
506
00:15:11,857 --> 00:15:13,894
Ay come on Dar. Dar!
507
00:15:13,894 --> 00:15:14,796
Come on JD!
508
00:15:14,796 --> 00:15:16,031
Let's get out of here!
509
00:15:17,734 --> 00:15:19,404
Alright, you go
have fun alright?
510
00:15:19,404 --> 00:15:20,607
Crazy kids.
511
00:15:24,147 --> 00:15:25,918
Come on I got a
baloney in the car!
512
00:15:25,918 --> 00:15:29,859
Okay let's see here.
Okay, serial number is in.
513
00:15:29,859 --> 00:15:31,094
Are we almost done?
514
00:15:31,094 --> 00:15:32,532
Almost. Connor,
515
00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:35,103
can you go grab the
blacklight wand from the back.
516
00:15:35,103 --> 00:15:36,072
Blacklight wand? Why--
517
00:15:36,072 --> 00:15:38,576
Yeah just gotta make
sure it hasn't been used.
518
00:15:39,077 --> 00:15:40,748
Can't we just skip this part?
519
00:15:40,748 --> 00:15:42,183
Listen man,
I don't make the rules.
520
00:15:42,183 --> 00:15:45,189
Okay so what you want to do
is just run that over the doll
521
00:15:45,189 --> 00:15:47,695
and look for any glowing spots.
522
00:15:47,695 --> 00:15:48,830
Got it.
523
00:15:48,964 --> 00:15:51,067
Wait, what do the
glowing spots mean?
524
00:15:51,067 --> 00:15:53,272
Just scan the damn
thing, Connor.
525
00:15:58,016 --> 00:15:59,719
Okay. We're good.
526
00:15:59,719 --> 00:16:00,754
No no, no Connor.
527
00:16:00,754 --> 00:16:02,023
All the way down.
528
00:16:02,023 --> 00:16:04,328
What?!
Come on, this is ridiculous.
529
00:16:10,373 --> 00:16:10,874
Uh...
530
00:16:11,342 --> 00:16:13,178
what does it mean if
the feet are glowing?
531
00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:16,485
So? How 'd it go?
532
00:16:16,719 --> 00:16:19,224
Eh not great. You know,
Darren climbed out the window
533
00:16:19,224 --> 00:16:20,393
and they flew away.
534
00:16:20,393 --> 00:16:21,062
What!?
535
00:16:21,062 --> 00:16:21,930
Are you kidding me!?
536
00:16:22,030 --> 00:16:24,000
Oh my god there's no
winning with you, Tam!
537
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,436
"Get him a friend" I do that.
538
00:16:25,436 --> 00:16:27,675
"Get him outta the
house" I did that.
539
00:16:27,675 --> 00:16:29,010
Whatever I do it's wrong!
540
00:16:29,010 --> 00:16:30,046
Mark, stop it.
541
00:16:30,046 --> 00:16:30,914
Just help me find him?
542
00:16:31,015 --> 00:16:33,185
Alright Tam,
but it's like a whole ordeal.
543
00:16:33,185 --> 00:16:35,991
You gotta build like a
stone temple pilots thing
544
00:16:35,991 --> 00:16:37,828
and then do a blood sacrifice.
545
00:16:37,828 --> 00:16:39,565
Okay, I say you
just give him time.
546
00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:40,568
This is classic,
547
00:16:40,568 --> 00:16:42,905
healthy teenage
rebellion stuff, okay?
548
00:16:42,905 --> 00:16:43,774
He'll be back.
549
00:16:43,774 --> 00:16:44,842
They're in the woods.
550
00:16:44,842 --> 00:16:46,613
Uh. Helicopter Parent Alert.
551
00:16:46,613 --> 00:16:47,648
You see this is the problem-
552
00:16:47,648 --> 00:16:48,983
In the car. Now.
553
00:16:49,350 --> 00:16:52,490
Sancta mater diaboli libera!
554
00:16:52,490 --> 00:16:53,025
Sorry.
555
00:16:53,025 --> 00:16:54,227
Would you mind getting
556
00:16:54,227 --> 00:16:55,797
your other leg for me?
557
00:16:55,797 --> 00:16:57,233
Sure, no problem.
558
00:17:01,208 --> 00:17:03,045
♪ and the bunny goes
round the loop . ♪
559
00:17:03,045 --> 00:17:05,049
♪ And the loop goes
round the tree, ♪
560
00:17:05,049 --> 00:17:06,853
♪ and the bunny goes
through the leg-- ♪
561
00:17:06,853 --> 00:17:07,420
Charles!
562
00:17:07,621 --> 00:17:09,926
Are you chanting or chatting?
563
00:17:09,926 --> 00:17:10,426
Sorry.
564
00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:13,933
Sancta mater diaboli libera!
565
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:17,207
♪ Sancta mater diaboli libera
566
00:17:17,207 --> 00:17:20,012
No no you don't sing it.
567
00:17:20,012 --> 00:17:22,150
Oh I thought we
were singing a song.
568
00:17:22,150 --> 00:17:24,020
You got a real nice
voice by the way.
569
00:17:24,020 --> 00:17:24,555
Doesn't she?
570
00:17:24,688 --> 00:17:26,192
I always tell her she sounds
571
00:17:26,192 --> 00:17:27,828
just like Tom Waits.
572
00:17:27,828 --> 00:17:30,901
That's not a
compliment, Charles!
573
00:17:31,401 --> 00:17:33,272
I can't believe my parents
kicked you out like that.
574
00:17:33,272 --> 00:17:34,340
They don't even know you!
575
00:17:34,340 --> 00:17:36,011
Oh it's fine. I'm used to it.
576
00:17:36,278 --> 00:17:37,648
I hate them sometimes.
577
00:17:37,648 --> 00:17:38,449
You know, believe me,
578
00:17:38,449 --> 00:17:41,221
parents can be a lot worse.
579
00:17:41,221 --> 00:17:43,425
Your dad seems
pretty cool actually.
580
00:17:43,425 --> 00:17:43,960
Mark?
581
00:17:44,127 --> 00:17:46,031
He's my stepdad and believe me,
582
00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:47,100
he's not cool.
583
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,269
He tries way too hard.
584
00:17:48,269 --> 00:17:49,739
Well at least he tries.
585
00:17:49,939 --> 00:17:52,043
And my mom is a total
hypocrite, okay.
586
00:17:52,043 --> 00:17:53,547
First she wants
me to have friends
587
00:17:53,547 --> 00:17:55,617
and then she says you're
not good enough for her?
588
00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:56,418
Like seriously?
589
00:17:56,418 --> 00:17:58,121
She's not completely
wrong, Darren.
590
00:17:58,121 --> 00:18:00,259
My dad is literally the devil.
591
00:18:00,259 --> 00:18:03,065
Who cares man?
That doesn't define you.
592
00:18:03,065 --> 00:18:05,704
There's a reason they
keep me chained up.
593
00:18:06,238 --> 00:18:08,008
Oh boy it's starting.
594
00:18:08,008 --> 00:18:10,012
What's starting?
595
00:18:10,012 --> 00:18:11,817
“It Is Time ”!
596
00:18:11,817 --> 00:18:13,452
Um... Time for what?
597
00:18:13,452 --> 00:18:15,590
“For The Sacrifice ”!
598
00:18:16,191 --> 00:18:17,628
Oh we're doing a campfire?
599
00:18:17,628 --> 00:18:19,765
I actually got a few
hot dogs in my pocket.
600
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,569
Or are you just happy to see me?
601
00:18:22,505 --> 00:18:24,208
Knock it off and
get out of the way!
602
00:18:24,208 --> 00:18:26,912
Deborah, do we really
need to do this?
603
00:18:26,912 --> 00:18:28,616
He's a good guy.
604
00:18:28,616 --> 00:18:29,719
Yes, Charles.
605
00:18:29,719 --> 00:18:33,058
This is how it's been
done for over 300 years!
606
00:18:33,058 --> 00:18:34,294
But don't you ever feel like
607
00:18:34,294 --> 00:18:36,999
we're perpetuating
this cycle of violence?
608
00:18:36,999 --> 00:18:39,505
I don't care what it feels like.
609
00:18:39,505 --> 00:18:40,439
It works.
610
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:46,820
What's gotten into you man??
611
00:18:46,820 --> 00:18:48,222
“I Must Feed ”!
612
00:18:48,222 --> 00:18:49,692
Uh, feed on what?
613
00:18:49,692 --> 00:18:50,794
“Humans ”!
614
00:18:50,794 --> 00:18:51,361
Humans!?
615
00:18:51,529 --> 00:18:52,697
I can't be friends with someone
616
00:18:52,697 --> 00:18:53,800
who eats people,
617
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:54,802
okay! Take me home!
618
00:18:54,802 --> 00:18:55,704
“Too Late, Darren ”!
619
00:18:55,704 --> 00:18:56,907
“I'm Blood-Lusting ”!
620
00:18:57,207 --> 00:18:58,276
“The Signal ”!
621
00:18:58,276 --> 00:18:59,477
“Dinner Time ”!
622
00:19:03,152 --> 00:19:05,890
!
623
00:19:06,792 --> 00:19:08,730
Hm this body tastes different.
624
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:09,832
It's not bad though.
625
00:19:09,832 --> 00:19:11,201
There's like a hint of...
626
00:19:11,201 --> 00:19:12,103
what is that like,
627
00:19:12,103 --> 00:19:13,171
strawberry?
628
00:19:21,154 --> 00:19:23,492
Oo, my toes feel nice and warm, thanks.
629
00:19:24,529 --> 00:19:25,396
That's it!
630
00:19:25,396 --> 00:19:27,667
I'm putting my foot down.
631
00:19:28,570 --> 00:19:29,505
You fool!
632
00:19:29,505 --> 00:19:31,876
How else are we
going to lure the J-
633
00:19:33,445 --> 00:19:34,013
Hank?
634
00:19:34,013 --> 00:19:34,615
Oh hey Darren!
635
00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:36,318
We're doing s'mores and stuff.
636
00:19:36,318 --> 00:19:38,055
JD, you're early.
637
00:19:38,055 --> 00:19:40,126
We're still preheating the pyre.
638
00:19:40,126 --> 00:19:42,129
Nah. It's all good.
I'm full.
639
00:19:42,129 --> 00:19:44,134
What do you mean
you're full?
640
00:19:44,134 --> 00:19:46,071
I found this awesome
meat substitute,
641
00:19:46,071 --> 00:19:48,075
it tastes just like
berries and trash.
642
00:19:48,075 --> 00:19:49,210
What? But...
643
00:19:49,210 --> 00:19:50,246
the ritual!
644
00:19:50,246 --> 00:19:52,016
Hey you know what?
Screw your ritual!
645
00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:53,620
You're a bunch of enablers!
646
00:19:53,620 --> 00:19:55,389
It's all that damn
chanting that makes me
647
00:19:55,389 --> 00:19:57,595
all bloodlust-y in
the first place.
648
00:19:57,595 --> 00:19:58,696
See?
649
00:19:58,696 --> 00:19:59,397
Yo Devil!
650
00:19:59,565 --> 00:20:02,003
You think you can
steal my stepson?
651
00:20:02,203 --> 00:20:03,606
Not on my watch!
652
00:20:05,743 --> 00:20:07,347
Darren! Mom!
653
00:20:07,347 --> 00:20:09,552
No more hanging
with devils, okay?
654
00:20:09,752 --> 00:20:11,287
But he's my friend, mom.
655
00:20:11,287 --> 00:20:12,858
You can't be friends with that!
656
00:20:12,858 --> 00:20:13,492
Oh come on.
657
00:20:13,893 --> 00:20:16,231
Mark is friends with Mernft Man.
He's way worse.
658
00:20:16,231 --> 00:20:17,032
We'll talk about it later,
659
00:20:17,166 --> 00:20:19,572
but for now you're
grounded for a month.
660
00:20:19,572 --> 00:20:20,472
Okay. Sweet.
661
00:20:20,472 --> 00:20:23,378
I guess being grounded
for 300 years
662
00:20:23,378 --> 00:20:25,784
does seem a little excessive.
663
00:20:25,784 --> 00:20:28,289
Have you lost
your mind, Charles?
664
00:20:28,289 --> 00:20:30,126
He's the “Devil ”!
665
00:20:30,126 --> 00:20:31,562
JD watch out!
666
00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:33,566
Darren!
667
00:20:37,340 --> 00:20:39,511
Boom. Headshot.
You like that, Tam?
668
00:20:39,511 --> 00:20:41,281
Saved your kid- I mean our kid.
669
00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:43,418
My kid.
I love you, Dave.
670
00:20:49,965 --> 00:20:50,667
Mark?
671
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:51,903
Hey, David.
Did you happen to get
672
00:20:51,903 --> 00:20:53,038
a delivery for me?
673
00:20:53,038 --> 00:20:55,476
Maybe like a big
box or something?
674
00:20:56,278 --> 00:20:58,517
Yeah, Mark. I did.
Was that for you?
675
00:20:58,517 --> 00:21:00,954
Yeah. Doin' a little project.
Didn't want, you know,
676
00:21:00,954 --> 00:21:03,492
Tam to get the wrong idea.
You know what I mean?
677
00:21:03,726 --> 00:21:04,928
Mhm, I see.
678
00:21:04,928 --> 00:21:06,097
Anyway, can I get that from you?
679
00:21:06,097 --> 00:21:07,366
Nope. It's gone.
680
00:21:07,801 --> 00:21:09,204
I destroyed it.
681
00:21:09,437 --> 00:21:12,577
Let me tell you, I absolutely
obliterated that thing.
682
00:21:17,253 --> 00:21:20,694
Aaaah David!
I bet you did, buddy!
683
00:21:20,694 --> 00:21:24,935
I bet you did! Yo!!
Yo, there it is!
684
00:21:24,935 --> 00:21:27,708
Well I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Anyway, that was six grand
685
00:21:27,708 --> 00:21:29,811
so whenever you get a chance
you can just Venmo me.
46421
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