All language subtitles for The.Naughty.Adventures.of.Scarlett.May.Blossom.S01E03.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+2.0.H.264-playWEB_track4_[eng]

(wind rustling)

(upbeat country music)

♪ Gonna buy me a bottle of whiskey ♪

♪ I'm gonna buy me a bottle of gin ♪

♪ Gonna go pick up my baby ♪

♪ Yeah, we're going to a party again ♪

♪ Everyone's going to get dressed up ♪

♪ Ladies do their hair just right ♪

♪ Everyone's gonna get messed up ♪

♪ Yeah, we're gonna get drunk tonight ♪

♪ Gonna buy me a bottle of whiskey ♪

♪ Gonna buy me a bottle of gin ♪

♪ Gonna go pick up my baby ♪

♪ Yeah, we're going to a party again ♪

- My name's Scarlett. (flames crackling)

- I'm Chief Peterson.

- Thank you for putting
out the fire, Chief Peterson.

You certainly are some
kind of hero in my book.

- Well, thank you, young lady.

- You can call me Scarlett.

Scarlett May Blossom.

- Thank you, Scarlett May Blossom.

- Not many men got courage like you,

walking into danger and
looking a fire in the eye.

- We got the fire out just in time.

You're gonna be okay?

- I'm just a little shook up.

See, I get shook up pretty easy.

Somebody could just kiss
me when I'm not expecting it

and I'll get pretty shook up,

so when a trailer blows up,

well, you can imagine

- I certainly can.

Anybody kiss you lately?

I mean, without you expecting it.

- Matter of fact, happens all the time.

- Really now?

- I don't mean to be saying
anything inappropriate, Chief,

but with a girl like me,

kissing sometimes just comes natural.

I mean, the boys find it quite natural.

- Well, maybe we shouldn't
be talking about stuff like that.

- All I really wanted to say

is that thanks to you, my
trailer didn't burn down,

and you are my one true hero.

Hey, do you know Lenny James Hancock?

He works down at the sheriff's
office delivering summons.

- Yeah, I know Lenny.

- He delivered my summons today,

and is supposed to drive me
up to Washington DC soon.

I don't reckon you have
his phone number, do you?

- Nope, but the sheriff's office

is right next door to the firehouse.

You could probably come down
and catch him there sometime,

or I could tell them to call you, I guess.

But if I was you, I wouldn't count on him

taking you to Washington DC.

- Why not?

- 'Cause Lenny's what
you call a mama's boy.

He won't go nowhere
unless his mama lets him,

and I don't think his mama's
going to let him run off

with a purty girl like you now.

- Well I gotta get to Washington DC

to testify for a grand jury,

and I don't know how I'm gonna get there

if Lenny James Hancock don't take me.

I ain't got no money, and
my mama's car would never

make it all the way up there,

even if I did have a driver's
license, which I don't.

- Sounds like you're in some kind

of predicament there, Scarlett.

You ain't got no family to help you out

with enough money for a
plane ticket or anything?

- Planes are expensive.

Ain't nobody in my family
rich enough to fly in planes.

- You might be able to ride the bus.

It's cheaper.

It just would take you longer to get there.

- I ain't got no one to help me.

My mama done had a nervous breakdown.

Daddy's working down at the docks now,

but is just barely able
to pay for our trailer

and his bills and all.

- You sure had some tough breaks in life.

I'd like to hear more,
you know, but duty calls.

- Can you talk to Lenny and find out

if he's still gonna take me,
and then maybe give me a call?

- Well, sure I can.

And if he can't help you,
maybe I can somehow.

Why don't you gimme your
phone number and I'll call you?

- Sure will.

Thanks, Chief Peterson.

- Call me Danny Ray.

- My heart got a little pang
the moment he told me that.

His name was so beautiful.

- It was nice meeting
you, Scarlett May Blossom.

I've gotta get back to work here,

but I'll give you a call real soon.

- Just glad you find me pretty, that's all.

You ain't gonna do
anything about it, are ya?

- What you mean?

- Why Chief Peterson, do I gotta paint

the picture by numbers?

Here we've been talking
about how all the boys

like to kiss me, and now you're telling me

you think I'm pretty, and I'm telling you

that you're my only hero.

How about a little peck on the cheek?

(kiss smacking)

Now let's do like Jesus.

You know what Jesus always said

about turning the other cheek?

- I could get into trouble for this.

♪ She's a trailer park
beauty with big brown eyes ♪

♪ Born a Dixie Rose under Alabama skies ♪

♪ 18 years old, strawberry blonde hair ♪

♪ Gonna find her pot of gold somewhere ♪

♪ If she don't play possum ♪

♪ Scarlett May Blossom ♪

- I pulled out the phone book

so I could find Chief Danny
Ray Peterson's phone number.

I couldn't find nothing
about it in the yellow pages,

except phone numbers
for fire extinguishers.

But in the white pages, there it was,

sure enough, popping right out at me,

listed as The Firehouse.

The trouble was it wasn't
the address for the fire station.

I didn't know it, but The Firehouse

was the name of a strip club.

- Hi, hun.

You here to apply for a job?

Right here, we're hiring,

so this just might be your lucky day.

Pretty girl like you could make

over 1,000 bucks a week here.

You over 18?

- I just turned 18, but I ain't looking

for no job right now.

Getting ready to inherit a
bunch of money, anyway.

More than a million bucks.

I won a lottery, and not only that,

I got friends at the Bank of Africa.

So there.

- Well, congratulations darling.

More power to you.

I just hope you remember me

when all that money of yours shows up.

My name's Scooter
Joe, and I own this place,

and you are?

- Scarlett.

Scarlett May Blossom.

- Well, that's a real
pretty name, Scarlett.

And I think you'd blossom
up real good around here.

Here's my card with my
cell phone number on it.

If things fall through with that lottery

and African money of yours,

you just give old Scooter
Joe a call, you hear?

- Well, I reckon so.

But I don't know nothing
about dancing round no poles.

- Oh, that ain't nothing to worry about.

We'll teach you all you
need to know in no time.

See that girl there?

That's Towanda, and
she just started last week.

- Really? - Yep.

She's doing just fine.

Making about 700 a week.

Sure enough already.

The girl's just warming up

for the lunch customers right now.

- Well Scooter, it's been
very nice meeting you and all,

but I better get going.

I got an appointment to keep,

and then I'm gonna go
outta town for a while.

Maybe I'll give you a call when I get back.

Right around then, the
pizza delivery boy showed up,

hours late. (truck rumbling)

What are you doing here now?

We don't need no pizza anymore.

We called you like last year, or something.

- I tried delivering it earlier,

but I couldn't get in with
all the ruckus going on.

Police had a barricade up on the road

in front of the trailer park,
and I had to turn around.

- Yeah, we had a meth
lab trailer burn down earlier.

- A meth lab?

- Didn't you see it all charred
and all when you drove up?

I can still smell it.

- I wondered what that smell was.

Glad to know it ain't our pizza.

- Well it ain't, but your pizza don't smell

too good anymore anyway.

And it's probably colder
than the North Pole.

Besides, the person that ordered that pizza

ain't here no more either.

And I ain't got no money,
so if I take that pizza,

you'll have to call the
sheriff and put me in jail.

- Hell's bells, I wouldn't
do a thing like that.

Not with you being so purty.

So you can just have it for free.

- That's mighty nice of
you, offering me a free pizza.

You can have some, if you'd like.

Got some lemonade too.

- Alright.

But I can't stay too long.

- Anyway, my name's Scarlett.

Scarlett May Blossom.

May is my middle name, of course.

You got a middle name?

- Nope, I ain't got no middle name.

My name's just Daryl.

- Now that ain't right, Just Daryl,

not having no middle name around here.

I thought everybody in the
south had a middle name.

How long you been delivering
pizzas for the Pizza Doodle?

- Ever since I got my
driver's license last year.

- I ain't got no driving license yet,

and I'm already 18.

Hey, I bet you're a real
safe driver, Just Daryl.

You gotta be with driving all those.

Pizza Doodle pizzas around.

Suppose you could teach me how to drive?

Like, this weekend?

- I'm off tomorrow.

Um, that's Saturday ain't it?

So, I'm off during the day,

but-but I gotta work tomorrow night,

and then church is on
Sunday, so I can't then.

- I gave up going to church long time ago.

- How come?

- I was too busy with
practicing witchcraft,

and stuff like that.

(playful guitar sting)

I'm just fooling with you.

- Well, you can't get to
heaven if you don't go to church.

- Daryl, I probably ain't getting to heaven

even if I do go to church.

- Don't you ever pray?

Like, to Jesus and all?

- I pray all the time, just not in church.

Like just today, I was praying
somebody would come along

who could teach me to drive.

- Like I said, I could probably teach you

a little bit tomorrow.

- Tomorrow will work fine with me, thanks.

We can just start out by
driving around the trailer park.

Mama was way too nervous
to teach me how to drive.

Besides she was scared that if I knew how,

I'd take off in the car
and start picking up boys

and making out in the car.

She said she didn't want
the upholstery in the car

dirtied up, or nothing like that.

I always thought that was a
silly thing to be worried about,

'cause she was always
eating Taco Bell in the car,

and making a mess all over
with those stinky old tacos.

There was always cheese and lettuce

and stuff right in between the seats.

- How come you're in such
a rush to learn how to drive?

You ain't even got a car, do you?

- I got my mama's car right
out there in the driveway.

She just won't let me
use it, but I'll use it anyway,

'cause she's in the hospital right now.

She done had a nervous
breakdown, so she won't even know.

- You sure are in a rush.

- Well, I gotta get somewhere
real bad on Monday.

There's a man I gotta see,

so I need to learn how
to drive real quick like.

- Who's this man who you got see so bad?

- That ain't none of your concern.

Just Daryl said his car
was a stick shift Volk-wagen,

or however you spell the damn thing,

and it wouldn't be very easy to learn

how to drive in it.

'Sides, he didn't wanna get
it all wrecked up or nothing.

I told him I didn't know
nothing about no Volk-wagen

stick shift, and that our
family was very patriotic,

and always had American made cars

that drove normal when they was running.

(bright playful music)

Come next morning, Just Daryl showed up

like he said he would.

I told him I was happy he could teach me

how to drive mama's car,

since that's what I'd be
driving around town in.

So we got in my mama's car, a Buick

that Daddy'd named Blue Sally.

- [Daryl] Now go ahead and start it up.

- All right, here goes.

(engine sputtering)

It ain't gonna start.

Sometimes you gotta mess
around with the carburetor.

- Pop the hood and I'll take a look at it.

(dog whining)

(dog barks)

Try it now.

(engine sputtering)

(engine turns over)

Now put it in R for reverse,

(dog whining)

and hit the gas, real easy like.

(engine revving)

(car crashes)

- Dammit, I think I hit something.

- Holy shit, Scarlett.

You ran over a poodle.

- By then, I was about to start bawling

and crying my pretty little eyes out,

'cause I'd run over the poor little dog.

Oh my god, I ran over Muffin.

Oh my god, she's gonna kill me.

Oh, poor Muffin. (wailing)

It was just lying there
with its tongue hanging out

like it was sleeping and
didn't even know what hit it.

Even if it did have stinky breath,

and should been put to sleep long time ago,

it didn't deserve this.

And it was all going so well

with my driving up till then.

- You killed it!

- Well that's a brilliant
observation, dumb shit.

- Now don't you be calling me no dumb shit.

You ain't so smart
yourself, Miss Scarlett May.

You asked me to teach you how to drive,

and you're the one that ran
over and killed this poodle.

- I know this lady, and she'll kill me

for running over her dog.

- Well, let's just get outta here then.

Anybody could have run over it.

Don't look like she's home anyway.

She ain't gonna know nothing.

- We can't just leave it here,

'cause Scary Marylou
will be starting a ruckus

with the whole trailer park.

It'll be like one of them
witch hunts around here.

She'll find out it was me,

'cause I was driving
around the trailer park,

and then she'll burn
down my trailer for real,

and sing about it with no teeth in.

- Well, let's throw the
damn dog in the trunk

and get it outta here, then.

(bright piano music)

What we gonna do with
this dead dog in the trunk?

- I don't know, I'll figure
something out after I eat.

Ain't gonna worry about it just yet.

- We could throw it in the
dumpster behind the Walmart.

- No, there's too many people out here now.

Someone will see us.

- Hey, we could throw it in the dumpster

down at the Pizza Doodle.

- I think that sounds awful.

Don't you think the dog
deserves a proper burial and all?

- We could go down to the cemetery

after I get off work and
bury it, or something.

♪ I'm gonna buy me a bottle of whiskey ♪

♪ I'm gonna buy me a bottle of gin ♪

♪ Gonna go pick up my baby ♪

♪ Yeah, we're going to a party again ♪

- I had to check my
email to see if I'd heard

from Dr. Maghu or
the British lottery again.

But when I got over there, Daddy was there

with Scary Marylou, who
was sitting on the couch,

and you could tell they'd
been drinking already.

Marylou was smoking cigarettes

like they was gonna run outta tobacco

in North Carolina any day now.

Daddy, I'm gonna go check my email, okay?

- [Daddy] Scarlett, have you seen.

Marylou's dog Muffin today?

- Uh, no Daddy, I ain't seen Muffin.

I'm gonna go check my email.

- You ain't gonna be able to

'cause there's something
wrong with the computer.

It done went dead, darling.

- Well what's wrong with it?

It was working fine last night.

- Hell, I don't know why.

Do I look like one of them
computer gurus to you?

- Well I got important
emails coming in, Daddy.

It can't be dead now.

- Go ahead and try it.

I'm gonna go down and
look for Muffin with Marylou,

and if that computer still ain't working,

I'll have Burt from the bowling alley

come out and take a look
at it next week or something.

- All right.

My guilty conscience started kicking in

and putting knots in my stomach.

Running over that darned old dog

was gonna come back
to haunt me, I just knew it.

- Muffin might've done become a victim

of one them alien abductions,
or something like that.

- That was just like Scary
Marylou Rosenkrantz

to think aliens had gotten her dog.

But nope, it was just sweet old Scarlett

driving Blue Sally.

(dark tense music)

- I just put her outside
and went in to take a bath.

Why, them aliens probably
put me under some kinda spell,

'cause the next thing I
remember, I woke up in the bathtub.

I went outside, and Muffin
was gone, just disappeared.

(spacecraft whirring)

- Now Marylou, just calm down.

I ain't never heard of no aliens

coming around this here trailer park

abducting folks' dogs,
or nothing like that.

I'm sure Muffin's around here somewhere.

You already called the dog pound

and they ain't been out here yet.

Give 'em time.

(spacecraft whirring)

- But I've heard all about
them cattle mutilations

and stuff like that going on,

and they can't figure
out what in God's name

got a hold of them cows.

They just disappeared like Muffin

and came back down from them flying saucers

with all that blood drained out of them.

(spacecraft whirring)

They say the cuts on them

are made with surgical persuasion and all.

- You mean surgical precision?

- Yeah, that's right.

And if the aliens can get a big old cow

up in their spaceship,
I'm sure they could get.

Muffin up there real easy.

- I'm sure Muffin will turn
up, somewhere, somehow.

Some folks sure have crazy ways

for rationalizing things.

Guess 'cause they
don't have much of a life.

Everything's gotta be like an episode

of "Unsolved Mysteries".

I gotta go, Daddy.

Got a date.

- You got a date, Pigtail?

- Yes I do, Daddy.

- Well, you be careful.

And don't let him talk you into getting

into that backseat or nothing like that.

- Don't worry, Daddy, I won't.

Bye now.

(upbeat country music)

♪ She's a trailer park beauty ♪

♪ With big brown eyes ♪

♪ Born a Dixie Rose under Alabama skies ♪

♪ 18 years old ♪ (engine rumbling)

- So let's just finish what you started,

and find that dumb
animal a nice resting place

in the back of the cemetery.

And ain't no one gonna know.

- [Scarlett] Jesus is gonna know.

- What you bringing up Jesus for?

- [Scarlett] Because he knows everything.

He knows I killed that dog.

I just hope I don't go to hell over this.

- It was an accident, Scarlett.

Jesus knows that.

'Sides, Jesus didn't ever
learn how to drive a car.

If he did, he might have accidentally

run over a couple dogs hisself.

(casual guitar music)

Think we should say something?

- Like what?

- Like some kind of memorial or something?

- Oh, all right.

Muffin, I'm sorry I ran over you,

but you should have been
put to sleep long time ago.

I hope you rest in peace
with your stinky breath and all.

And Jesus, I know dogs
don't have souls or nothing,

'cause it don't say nothing in the Bible

about dogs having souls,
but just in case they do,

I hope you look after poor Muffin,

and make sure she gets into
that fancy tea party in the sky,

even without her toenails painted.

Thank you Jesus.

Amen.

- That's purty good.

You could be a preacher
lady someday, maybe,

the way you talk so nice to Jesus.

- I ain't ever gonna be no preacher lady.

I'm gonna be a famous writer
and have my own bookstore

and sell lots of books,

and sign 'em with fancy pens and all.

Folks will drive all around the world

to come see my bookstore.

- Sure.

Dream on, Scarlett.

- All of a sudden there was car headlights

coming down the road and right towards us.

Just Daryl wiped the dirt off his clothes,

and we both practically
leaped back into the car.

(police sirens wailing)

I panicked because I knew the
car coming at us was the cops,

and we was gonna get busted.

I didn't wanna be all over
the news as a dog killer.

I had to get to Washington DC,

and I didn't wanna be in jail

when Dr. Bendalar came to
town to visit me about my money.

But suddenly I came
up with a brilliant idea.

I started kissing Just
Daryl as hard as I could.

He didn't know what hit him.

Next thing we know, there
was a knock on the window,

and it was Sheriff Peabody.

- What's going on in there?

(casual upbeat music)

♪ I'm on the bottom half of rock bottom ♪

♪ Somewhere on Bourbon Street ♪

♪ Yeah, the bottom half of rock bottom ♪

♪ I'm trying to drown my misery ♪

♪ Well, I've got the weight of the world ♪

♪ On my shoulders ♪

♪ And a bottle in front of me ♪

♪ Yeah, the bottom half of rock bottom ♪

♪ And it's bottoms up for me ♪

♪ I'm on the bottom half of
rock bottom, bottom half ♪

♪ Poor old pitiful me ♪

♪ Yeah, the bottom half of
rock bottom, bottom half ♪

♪ Is looking down on me ♪

♪ I've got the weight of
the world on my shoulders ♪

♪ And a bottle in front of me ♪

♪ Yeah, the bottom half of
rock bottom, bottom half ♪

♪ Bottoms up for me ♪

♪ Yeah, the bottom half of rock bottom ♪

♪ Ain't no kinda place to be ♪