All language subtitles for socghjjsjh2

Peanut butter.

And so it begins.

Ucch!

Kelci! Sammy! Becca!

Everybody up! We're late!

What--

Give me that.

Come on, Mom.
- He likes it.

All right. Fine. He can have
peanut butter sandwiches.

You guys get dog food
for lunch.

Becca? Honey?
Wake up.

Rise and shine. We're late.
Let's go. Let's go.

Oh! Why didn't you wake me?

I gotta pack
my soccer bag and--

Oh, you didn't forget
to wash my jersey, did you?

Oh, of course, honey.

I did not forget
to wash your jersey.

That's ridiculous.

Let me go get your--
Let me go get your jersey

which I did not forget to wash.

Oh. Okay.

Ucch.

Becca, don't forget your lunch.
Here. Did you have breakfast?

Mom, where's my jersey?

Oh. Here. Freshly laundered
jersey coming up.

I don't need
the hanger.

I got an early game today,
okay?

And it's your turn
to be snack mom.

So please don't be late.
- Yes, I know. I know.

I know. I know.

Sammy-- Hey, mister,
I see that. I see that.

Here. Take this.
- I didn't do anything.

Just go.

Hey, Mom,
Mango's drinking coffee.

Hey! Hey! Off! Down!

Bad dog! Out!

Kelci, move it.
You're late for school.

All right already.

Eh.

We have to
stretch out, you guys!

# As you can see,
I've got everything I need #

# Everybody wants
to be like me #

# I've got more money
than you've ever seen #

# I've spent more green
than your family tree #

# I want more #

# Just give me more #

# I want more #

# Just give me
more-ore-ore-ore-ore-ore #

So whose butt
are we kicking today?

Mar Vista.

Is my makeup
natural enough for soccer?

It's fine.
Oh, and, darling,

if we lose today,
you're still my daughter.

It'll just be, uh,
a little harder to love you.

That's fair.

Okay, girls. We all have
different strengths in life.

Mine are gourmet cooking,

Thai massage,
and coaching soccer.

Unfortunately for me,

none of your strengths
are playing soccer.

Now, we know that,
in spite of all of my efforts,

we're going to lose today.

Oh, yes.

These Malibu girls
outplay us on every level.

Now, there's only one thing
for us to do.

Forfeit?

I wish you would've mentioned
that before we got here.

It's gonna be a little strange
if we just up and left.

No. What you girls
are really good at

is losing gracefully, huh?

Oh. Thanks, Coach.
I'm gonna be the best loser I can be.

That's the spirit, Becca.
That's the way to be a winner...

at losing.

Keep it going! Keep it going!

Oh, my God!

I knew something
smelled weird.

Oh. Wow, Tiffany.
I'm surprised to see you here.

I thought your mom
ate her young.

That's so not true.

Tiffany's mom
hardly eats anything.

At least my mom's here.

Those are
not very nice girls.

But they are terrific
soccer players.

I have to get the phone.

Hair Studio. This is Wendy.

Yes, Miss Humperdink.

Okay. I'll put you down
with Harry at 3.

Thanks. See you then. Bye.

You are going to love
this new look.

Does it come with a new house?
A new car?

A new tuchus?

All the above.

But first, I do your roots.
- Deal.

Years doing special effects,
and they want me to interview

for a measly little
slash-and-splatter film.

Like I couldn't do an arterial
spray with my eyes closed.

Oh, Harry, I just wish you knew
how to make a dramatic entrance.

I told them to take their job
and shove it right up their--

Family business.
- Exactly.

I mean, get a bottle of ketchup,
for God's sake, if all you want is blood.

You are an artist.

Exactly. I am an artist.

Here we go.

I can transform.
I can create. I--

Can terrify!

Yes, we know.
- Thank you.

But first,
your 11:00 is here.

Oh, bless her.

Well, some transformations

are more challenging
than others.

Come on, Davies. Game time.

Game time?

Becca's early game.
Oh, I suck so bad.

What are you doing?

Can you man the phones?
I gotta go.

Wait. Wait. At least
let me just rinse you out!

Come on! Here we go!
Here we go! Here we go!

Yeah. Come on. Back up the
other way. Remember what we said.

Be the ball. Be the ball.

Hey-- There goes the ball.

Oh, that is so disappointing!

Okay, that's right, Becca.
Yeah. Do what you do best.

Better. Better.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Oh, fantastic run, Becca!
Fantastic run!

Come on! Come on!

Yeah! Good job, Laurie!
All right, Kim!

You guys look
great out there! Whoo!

Hey, woman.
- Oh, hey.

Your girl's
doing real good today.

Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

What's the score?

It's not pretty.
- Oh.

What?

Um...

Oh, God. Oh, God.
I thought I got all those.

That's nothing. The other day,
I found a Cheeto in my bra.

Did you eat it?
- What do you think?

That's it, Laurie!

All right, Becca!

Ow!

Aw, man!
- Red card. Yeah.

Oh.

What a shame.
Somebody got a red card.

At least she's
getting discipline somewhere,

'cause you know she's not
getting it at home.

Oh, speaking of
not getting it at home,

did I tell you about Cheryl
and her aromatherapist?

I know you're not
gonna listen to a woman

who gets fat from her butt
injected into her face!

Oh, Dee Dee.

You're raising three kids
without a dad,

and you're doing a good job.

Becca's
just having a bad day.

It's not just her getting red-flagged.
- Carded.

It's not just her getting
red-carded. It's everything.

She gets U's
on her report card now.

Last week, she got
detention for fighting.

Did she win?

And her therapist, which,
by the way, I cannot afford,

says that she's
at a crossroads.

And, you know, whatever
road she heads down,

I'm afraid she might
never come back.

I just-- I don't want to lose
my sweet little girl, you know?

Come here.

Hey, good work out there.

Cheer up, girls.

You only lost by six goals.

What, are you texting them
a pep talk?

I mean, I'm no coach,
but those girls--

They just endured an
inning of torture out there.

They're called halves.

Well,
whatever they're called,

why don't you walk
over to your team

and give them a little
encouragement?

How's about you stick

to bringing juice boxes
and cheering at the wrong time,

and leave the coaching
to someone

who was captain
of his soccer team

his fifth and sixth years
of junior college?

What, they wouldn't
give you a seventh year?

No. It's against the rules.

Hey, he may be terrible,

but you think playing zone
is, like, some new diet,

so could you maybe
butt out, please?

Okay, maybe I don't know much
about coaching soccer--

Coaching soccer?

Last time
you were snack mom,

you brought a pack of gum

and half a roll
of Life Savers.

That was all I had in my purse.

Look, I just think you girls
deserve better than that.

Well, we had better,
and then he died.

You can't replace him,
so just stop trying, okay?

Sweetheart--

This isn't
a Hallmark moment, Mom.

# I know what it takes #

# To make me beautiful #

# I know what it takes #

# To make me smile #

# And I want you to see #

# We were meant
to be together #

# Someday you say
you'll come around #

# But I can hear the sound
of your voice fading #

Oh, hey, sweetie. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to wake you up.

I was just, uh--

Your dad loved coaching you.

It's not the same without him.

Yeah, I know.

Nothing is, is it?

I don't want to play anymore.
I'm gonna quit the team.

What? No. You love soccer.
It makes you happy.

Right. I'm so happy.

# And as hard as it seems #

# This is not gonna be #

Becca says she's
gonna quit the team.

Yeah, right. And I'm gonna
stop watching my neighbor

mowing his grass
with his shirt off.

You don't quit what you love.

I think she's serious.

That would be terrible.

Yeah.
Soccer's the only thing

that means anything
to her anymore.

If she quits that,
what else is there?

You know Dad couldn't
miss this for nothing.

Oh, no. He's not here.

This is not
his visitation day.

Wendy.
- Wally.

Dee.

It's Friday, Wally. Friday.

Not Saturday.

We worked out a schedule
so that you could see Laurie

and I would not
have to see you.

You know what?
- What?

You look good, baby.

All right. I'll see you.

Okay. Fantastic.

Don't even try it.

Huddle up!

I have a very important
announcement to make.

Some might say life-changing.

Uh, Coach, I have something
I want to say.

Becca, please.
Don't you try and stop me.

You know, girls, life is
like a box of chocolates.

Sometimes it's bitter,
sometimes it's sweet.

Sometimes it's bittersweet.

The point is,
as many of you know,

my day job
is as a crucial member

of the Score sports team.

I am quite literally
the glue

that holds the clothing
line together.

Doesn't he just supply
the zippers?

Very quiet, please.
Very quiet.

Now, I've just been informed
I'm being transferred to Milan.

After Saturday, I won't be
here to coach the team.

That's the bitter chocolate.

Now, some of you may know

that Lorenzo Vincenzo
is a brilliant superstar

with Italy's great

Nazionale Italiano
soccer team.

Or he was...

until a knee injury
forced him to retire.

Lorenzo the Great?
- One and the same.

Now, I met Lorenzo
on a company retreat.

We bonded, and because I...

impressed him so much,

that he would be honored
to coach my team for me.

Lorenzo Vincenzo is coming?
He's coaching us?

Until regionals.
Until regionals,

and then he has to start
a promotional tour.

When are you leaving?

I mean, when is he coming?

Sunday.

That would be the day
after Saturday.

Oh, my God!

Let's have a welcome party.
We can do it at my place, right?

A welcome party? Does this
mean you're still on the team?

We can have the party,
right, Mom?

Oh, well, of course.

I just cleaned last Christmas,
so that's--

Awesome!
- And my mom can cook.

Oh, great.

Oh, my God!
Lorenzo's coming!

I think I'm gonna throw up
or faint or both.

Oh, my God!

Thank you,
Vincenzo Lorenzo.

I think you mean
Lorenzo Vincenzo.

Oh, whatever.

Those poor guys.

They are gonna really miss me.

Lorenzo Vincenzo's coming.

I am so excited,
I just might throw up.

There's a lot of that
going on.

Oh, don't worry.
If he hurls on you,

you get
a ten percent discount.

It's unbelievable.

I mean, a genuine superstar
will be teaching them.

This is life changing.
I am so jealous.

Well, I can probably get you
on the team, hotshot.

You think you can fit yourself
into a pair of junior girls' shorts?

For Lorenzo,
I'd eat my shorts.

You have got to introduce me
to Vincenzo.

He's your type?

He's everybody's type.

Well, whether or not
he's my type,

I was chosen to pick him up
at his hotel.

Well, then, you are
picking up a living legend.

He was the best soccer player
in Europe till he got injured.

I didn't know you
were so into soccer.

Are you kidding me?
Huge into soccer.

I played a ton
when I was young.

And, of course, I realized
you can't exactly pay the rent

playing intramural sports,
so, uh, I gave it up.

I cried like a baby
when he ruined his knee.

You also cried like a baby when
they took "Friends" off the air.

Yes,
because that was sad.

Thank you very much.

Hey, honey, is
that Lorenzo Vincenzo?

Yeah, it is.

Oh, wow!

Hey, Lorenzo!

Lorenzo, right here!
- Can we have your autograph?

You're our favorite player.
- Yes. Ah. Okay.

Ah. Okay.
What's your name?

Sean.
- Sean.

Your numero uno favorite
hero, Lorenzo Vincenzo.

That's me.
- Thank you.

I sign your shirt.
This a big L. This a big V.

There's my initials.
There's my number.

Ciao. God bless. Ciao.
- Thank you.

Bye. You're cool.

Uh, Mr. Vincenzo?
- Si.

Hi, I'm Wendy Handler.

Wendy. Hello. Okay. Wendy.

Your name...

This is my cell number.

Lorenzo, he like some
company, huh? Andiamo.

Well, if you like company,
you've come to the right place.

I know 13 girls
who can't wait to meet you.

Thirteen...girls?

God bless America.

They are so excited
for you to coach them.

Coach? Th-These girls--
they don't know how to do--

Oh, no, no, no.
Let me start over.

These are 14-year-old girls,

and you're gonna be
coaching them soccer.

Soccer. Ah, no. No.

Lorenzo does not coach
the little girls soccer. No.

But, w-well, Coach Kenny told--
told me that you would.

Kenny from Score Sports.
Zipper Kenny.

Zipper. Ah, si, si.

I know this, uh--
this Kenny you speak of.

He's, uh, stupido.

Oh, si, si. Very stupido.

I tell him, "Si, si, si,"
to make him go away.

Wait. Oh, no. Stop. Wait.
So-- So stop.

So you're not
gonna be coaching them?

I am gonna have
an entire team of girls

who are gonna be
so disappointed.

My own daughter
will be devastated.

Too bad, so sad.

Wait. No. Lorenzo, stop!

I'll do anything!

Anything?

Okay, Lorenzo have an idea.

First, we start with a squeeze--

Then another squeeze--

Va bene.

So we need to get the saddle
and the maid's uniform.

The slap of love.
It's very nice.

Oh, stop it! Stop it!
- Hey!

Get those bags out.

No. Stay away from me,
you crazy American.

You keep her away from me!
She tried to kill--

Oh, my knee!
- Can I help you--

Get away from me,
you crazy American woman!

I just want to help.
- No, no, no.

This woman, she--
Ahhhh!

I-- So, does this mean you're
definitely not coaching?

Closer.

Yes?

No!

I'm not coaching.

Hi, sweetie.

Where are you?
Is he with you?

No, honey.
I'm afraid he's not.

I knew it.

I knew it was
too good to be true.

Please don't talk that way.
- What way?

Don't talk about reality?
I knew he wouldn't come.

I really, really
wanted this to happen,

and that should've been
the first clue it never would.

Nothing works out for me
anymore.

Seems like after Dad died,

everything's
just a big nothing.

I can't believe I even
thought this was gonna happen.

Hello?

Mom! Hello!

Mom, are you even listening?

What? Yes. Yes, of course I'm--
Of course I'm listening.

I just-- I don't see
why you're so upset.

Big surprise.
You don't even care about me.

Oh, of course
I care about you.

I just don't see why you can't
wait a few more hours.

A few hours?
Wait. He's coming?

Duh! He's coming.

Of course he's--
I didn't say he wasn't coming.

He's not at the hotel yet,
you know.

His flight was delayed.
It was so delayed.

You know,
one of the wings fell off.

Oh, my God. Is he okay?

No. I mean,
it wasn't an important wing.

It was a back wing,
you know, so--

He's coming!

I'm just gonna go
pick him up.

Okay. I gotta go. Bye.

A wing fell off?

And then Dr. Phil says,
"Lady, you have got

to get your act together
and stop lying."

Excuse me.
We've got to talk.

I am in the middle
of a great Dr. Phil story.

I'm sure. Come on.

Which--
I'll be right back.

Where are you taking me?

To the dungeon.
We need Harry for this.

Har-- For what?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Tell me what's going on.

I need to look like him.

Eh. You know, Wendy,

there are a lot of great
antipsychotics out on the market today,

many with only mild side
effects.

You and Harry need
to help me be him.

Nausea, dry mouth.

I'm not kidding. Shh!

Enter.

Greetings, my lovelies.

What brings you
to my little lair?

Mmm.

Lorenzo Vincenzo.

Please, Harry. Meeting Lorenzo
means the world to Becca,

and I can't watch her
be disappointed again.

Oh, come on.

You can't be serious
about this.

Well, if anyone can do it,
Harry can.

Mmm.
- When you turned Brooke Shields

into a zombie for
"Help, My Step-mom's a Zombie,"

I mean, she was utterly
unrecognizable.

Really? I always thought the brain
matter was a little too spongy.

You're crazy.

You're crazy, Wendy.
You can't fool your daughter

and her entire soccer team.

He has got a point
there, love.

Monsters are easy.
People are hard.

No, but when we worked
together on Broadway--

Broadway?
Turning you into a cat

is very different than--

than passing you
off as a man

up close and personal.

Come on.
- Mm-hmm.

I know. You're right.
I mean, what was I thinking?

When was the last time you did
anything other than blood and guts?

It hasn't been that long.

Well, maybe not in years.

But you are getting older.

I mean, people
lose a little something.

You know what? Let's just
forget I ever said anything.

So thank you anyway,
and I'll see you back at work.

Just stop there one moment,
you little minx.

Hmm. I'm gonna
say something to you

that my father said to me
many, many years ago.

"Get out"?
- No. Before that.

I'm gonna turn you into a man
if it's the last thing I do.

Oh, Harry.

Thank you, Harry! Oh!

Oh, yeah. That's good.

It's Becca.

Mmm.

Hello?
- Mom?

Hi, honey. Yeah.
I'm at the airport right now.

I can barely hear you.

What?

Why, Daddy, there you are.

Grandfather, I was on an aircraft.

I told you I'd call the minute
his plane landed, didn't I?

Can you hurry up?
Everybody's already eating.

Relax. I'm almost done.

Done?

You know, I'm almost done
picking him up.

That's what I mean, you know.
His plane has almost landed.

So I guess I'll see you
in just a little bit, then.

Okay. Bye.

# My head's all good #

# Baby, you'll be mine #

# Just look at me now #

# Baby, I can
blow your mind #

# I'm as fast as a shark #

# You can't catch me #

# Hurts so good #

# You know I'm bad
as bad can be #

# I'm a modern man #

# Let me be your boy toy #

# A modern man #

# Let me be your boy toy #

Wow.

Amazing.

Does it really work?

Oh, yeah.
You are a genius.

Tell me something
I don't know.

Cargo pants are out.

He's here!
- Oh, wow!

So, uh, Coach Lorenzo,
he got the question.

If you so happy
you getting a new coach,

how come
I no get a handshake

or a single
"Hello, Coach Lorenzo"?

Hello, Coach Lorenzo.

Ah, bene. This-a more like
the welcome I expecting.

Hello this-a.
Oh, yes. A-wow that.

How exciting it is-a.

Ladies. Hi. Hi. Hi.

He looks like Al Pacino.

Or the Burger King guy.

Nice to meet you.
Hi.

Coach Lorenzo, we are honored
having you coach our girls.

Oh, no, no, no.
It is I who am honored

to be coaching
these-a ragazzas.

Grazie.

I'm-- I'm Becca Handler.

My mom picked you up
from the airport.

Oh, si, si.
What a delightful woman.

So beautiful, charming,

organized, punctual.

Great taste in the clothing.

Smells like the sweet rain
of the springtime.

Uh, you're talking
about Wendy Handler--

yea-high and thinks
she's really funny?

Ah, hilarious, this woman.

You're so lucky
to have her for mother.

I'm just saying.

Come to think of it,
where is Wendy?

She's getting more of the munchies
for these-a little ragazzas.

They're growing.
They need to get strong-a.

You know,
you surprised us.

But in a good way.

Yeah.

Well,
I-- I start to make-a

da knock-knock-knock
on the front door,

but then Lorenzo,
he change his mind.

I go around the back,
I see the gate,

I come inside,
and-a boom, I'm here.

This, my Galaxy girls,

is soccer lesson
numero uno, okay?

So always,
you go straight for the goal

like you gonna knock-knock-knock-knock
on the front door,

and then boom, you go through
the side door, the back door.

I don't care
which way you going,

just so long as it's not the
way the other team expecting.

And this is a-football lesson
numero uno. Capisce?

Si.

You must be exhausted
from your flight.

Si, si. But I try
to coming and meet,

I must,
my new a-students.

So now I go to my hotel,

I get a little of the
bright-eye, bushy-tail sleeping,

and then I come back
tomorrow for practice.

Let me drive you, Coach.
- No, no.

Always when I in a new
time zone, I must-a walk--

a-walk for miles,
or else Coach Lorenzo,

he cannot, uh--
how you say-- sleep.

You girls, you better get out of
here, go home and get some rest.

You know why? Because tomorrow
I gonna work-a your butts

like never before
in the practice!

Okay?

All right-a. Ciao.

See you tomorrow.
- Ciao!

Ciao, Lorenzo. Ciao.

What am I doing?

Hey. It's over already?
What did I miss?

As usual, I was
the life of the party.

As usual. Bye, girls.

A certain Italian
was looking at me

like I was a basket of
breadsticks from the Olive Garden.

Oh, really?

Don't tell me you didn't want
to rip his shirt off.

Yes. Yes, I did.

And his goatee
and his nose, too, yes.

Good night.

Hey.
- Oh, my God.

Yeah?
- He's so amazing!

He's so real!
I mean, you know, it's just--

I mean, so not about being
a big star at all.

I can tell right away he's
gonna be the best coach ever.

I can't believe it.
- I wouldn't be too hasty.

Huh?
- I said won't these be tasty?

Good work. Good work, Becca.

Oh, I gotta take this.

Oh, I hate it when she works
on the weekends.

Here. Meet me in the car.

You know,
she almost quit the team.

Yes. I, um--

How do you feel about that?

Well, you know,
I'm glad she didn't,

but I'm worried
that she wanted to.

So you're conflicted.

Of course I'm conflicted.
Shouldn't I be conflicted?

You tell me.

No, you tell me.
Should I be worried?

Uh, what do you think?

No, I want to know
what you think.

Uh, really? Well,

you know when we
talked about before

that Becca's
at a crossroads?

Well, I think this coach would
put her on the right path,

and I think it's really
important.

You do?

Do you?

I think we're done here.

Are we?

I'll, uh, just--

Oh, yeah.

Well, our-- our time's up
anyway, so--

Okay.

Hey, kick it over here.

Yes, I have new cars
coming in by next Tuesday.

Oh, this is crazy.
What was I thinking?

This is not gonna work.
This is not gonna work.

No. I am Lorenzo.
I am Lorenzo.

I am-a Lorenzo.

Ciao, bambolinas.
Coach Lorenzo's here.

Hey!

Yes-a! So very nice-a.

Hi. I'm Dee Dee. We met the
other night at the party.

I could never forget such a lovely face.
- It's so good to see you.

And how you doin', sir?
I'm Dee Dee's husband.

Oh, Lorenzo stay away.

Take a picture? Please?
- Yes-a!

That's wonderful.
- Arms around Coach Lorenzo.

And when we count to three,
we say what-a? Formaggio.

One, two, three.
- Formaggio!

That was wonderful.

Ah!

Thank you.
- Very exciting.

We here to start
the practice.

Lorenzo, you're the greatest
dribbler I've ever seen.

Can you show us?
- Yeah, show us some of your footwork.

I love to dribble more
than anything in this life,

but I hurt my leg last year.

I can no longer do the thing

I love more than anything
in this world.

But you can.

I will teach all of you
how to be champions.

Where? Out there,

in here, and most important,

in here, okay?

Well, Coach, we're
just here to learn,

so show us
any way you can.

I, uh--

I--

Coach Lorenzo,
what's wrong?

I'm sorry. I--

I cannot do this. I--

I cannot coach you.

You see, I, uh--

I am not what you think.
You see, I--

Why not? Why can't you coach us?
- I'm not, uh--

Uh, because Coach Lorenzo's
assistant coach is late.

Sorry.

Sorry about that. Sorry.
- Yes. Bene. Bene

Yeah.
- Try not to be late anymore. Yes, no?

It won't happen again.

This is your assistant coach,
Tony DaSilva. Yes.

How are you?
- Tony, you do Coach Lorenzo's hair?

Um-- Well, your-- your--

No. Actually, your mom, uh,

asked me to, uh, come and
help out since I speak Italian,

and Coach's English might be
a little tough to follow.

It's not so bene.
Non capisco.

Italian,
American girls-a, yes-a.

My mom thought of that?

Yeah. Your mom thought of that.
All right.

Let's get to work. The coach
gave me his instructions here.

Uh, let's see.
Start out each practice

with leg stretches
and ball hops.

Right, Coach?
- Si. Yes. Yes. Right-a.

So what you
standing around for?

You waiting I should
send you an Evite?

www.getyourbuttsonthefield.com!

Let's go, let's go,
let's go!

Let's go! Go!

Yeah.
- Let's do it.

Hey, mille grazie.

Just, uh, let me
lead the stretches,

and then you announce
you're running them

through a split
cross drive drill.

A split cross drive drill?

No. Just-- Just--
Just follow my lead,

and you'll be fine,
Wendy.

I mean, Coach Lorenzo.

Grazie.

Attenzione!

Come closer. In a momento,

we're gonna
form the two lines-a,

and Coach Tony here is going
to warm up the muscles.

And then we're going to do
a split cross drive drills.

Go, go, go, go!
- Got it!

Good one!

Hey!
- Got it!

Oh!
- Nice!

Whoo!
- Send it back!

Yeah!
- Nice one!

Good one!

Whoa!
- Great!

You guys, just do it!
- Come on!

Yeah, guys, footwork!

Side toe! Side toe!

Oh, beauty! Beauty!
- Yeah! Whoo!

Yeah!

How fantastico!

Fantastico, girls!
Nice work!

Okay, here's your sum-up
and final thoughts.

How can I ever repay you?

I'll think of something.

Okay, girls.

Hey, come closer.

How many of you are kicking
only with the right foot?

Okay. Next practice,
you not even allowed

to touch the ball
with your right foot.

Only the left. Capisce?

Capisce.

Uh--
- Capisce!

A defender who got no idea
which-a way you gonna kick,

and then a-boom, suddenly she got
a-twice as many things to worry about.

Right?
- Right, yeah.

Right!
- Okay. Now get out. Go home.

See you later.

Great practice today, Coach.

Hey, you do a nice job today,
too-a.

I can tell you must have
the soccer in your blood.

Oh, yeah. My dad used
to coach the team.

Yes, I hear this-a
from Coach Tony.

Um, can I tell you
something crazy?

Nothing you say
to Lorenzo is crazy.

Well, I just have
the strangest feeling

like I know you
from someplace.

You crazy.
It's impossible.

You know, you're always
the last mom to show up.

Honey, I'm so sorry. I know. I
got caught up at work. It was--

Yeah, well, it's always busy
at work, Mom.

I promise you I will
make it up to you, okay?

Whatever you want.

I wanna invite Coach Lorenzo
over for dinner.

No!

Why not?

I mean, there's no way he's
gonna have time to just,

you know, lounge around
eating dinner with us

in our dining room, eating.

Like you know what he can
and cannot do.

I mean, you haven't been to
one practice since he started.

Oh, my God! A spider!

Oh, my--

Oh! Uh--

Kill it! Kill it!

I think you got it.
You got it. You got it.

Godzilla could not
have survived that.

Throw it out the window!
Throw it out the window!

Throw it out the window,
Mom!

All right!

I hate spiders.

Look at that.

Right. Please try not
to kill this one.

Thank you.
- Is that him?

Mm-hmm.
- Wow. He's good.

Yeah.
- Okay.

Here. See him shifting unexpectedly?
- Mm-hmm.

How he whirls
and kicks from behind?

Throws those defenders
way off balance.

Geez. I had no idea
he was this amazing.

Look at him jump.

Guys I know in dance
would've gone nuts over him.

I'll bet they would've.

Hey, can I borrow this DVD?

All right, honey.
I'll see you after practice.

Mom, how come you never bother
coming to practice anymore?

Well,
I have a ton of err--

I mean, I have a ton
of errands today. I'm--

Yeah, okay. Well,
just don't forget

the mother-daughter dinner
tonight, please?

Yeah, of course.
I'll meet you there.

On time?

Yes, of course. When have
I ever not been on time?

Okay, all the time.
But this time, I promise.

I promise.
- Okay.

Bye.
- Okay, bye. I love you.

Tell Becca she's still
leaning too much

on her left foot
before she kicks.

No way. Her strides
are just too short.

Becca, uh,
take a-longer strides, eh?

Too choppy-choppy
for the kick. Try it.

Thanks, Coach.
- Yeah.

You, uh, didn't do
what I told you to do.

Yes, because
it was obvious to me

she wasn't timing
her approach, so--

No, that was a compliment,
not a complaint.

Oh. Oh. That-- What?

Oh. Grazie.

Si.

I mean, yes. It's Wendy.

He's got a girlfriend.
- Who?

Wally. Who else? I ran into
them at the supermarket.

She was wearing sweatpants
that said "Juicy" on the butt!

What kind of message does that send?
- I'm so sorry.

It's irresponsible
is what it is.

Look, Dee--
- Flaunting it all over town!

You rejected him
so many times.

That doesn't mean that
I want another woman

getting her hands
on my husband.

Ex-husband.
- But we're not divorced yet.

There's a child involved,
for heaven's sake.

This man
was the love of my life.

You know, I bet he met her
on the Internet.

I'm so sorry, honey.
I really am.

No, it's fine. It's fine.
Two can play at that game.

There are plenty of guys
dying to get a little of this.

Uh, si, si. Uh, pepperoni-a.

Ciao.

Ordering pizza.

Laurie lost her sweater again,
and I just thought that

since I was coming over here,

I might bring you
a little something.

Cupcakes?

Oh. You have, uh,
beautiful cupcakes,

but Lorenzo, he, uh,
eating the no carbs.

South Beach.

Of course. I don't know
what I was thinking.

So sorry.

A man with your physique
clearly does not eat cupcakes.

Grazie.

It's incredible watching you
work with our girls.

They really want
to make you happy.

We all want to make you happy,
if you know what I mean.

Oh, I already so happy.

Look, it's like I have little
bluebird on my shoulder

singing "Zip-a-dee-doo-dah,
zip-a-dee-ay."

You just must be
exhausted from practice.

Why don't you let me
take you back to your hotel?

No, I prefer walking.

You know Lorenzo.
Strong like horse, so--

I just bet you are.

Oy.

Oy.

Whoo!

Si.

What the heck?

You checking up on me,
Wally?

Nah, I just didn't think
it was appropriate

to be filming
a "Girls Gone Wild" video

at our daughter's soccer field.

But it's okay to take a hussy
to the grocery store.

Ginger's not a hussy.

She's a paralegal,
and she's nice to me.

And, yet, here you are.

We've come to get the coach.

Yeah, come on.
Let's get out of here.

I got to be home by 10,

or my wife's gonna
take away my Xbox again.

No, no, no.
Come on, Coach!

Don't you have your
mother/daughter dinner?

Coach,
the girls won't mind

if you crash our party.

Man's night out.

No, no, no. The coach,
he want to stay,

but it is boy's night out,
and coach is a boy, so...

What happened to your eye?

Oh. Yes, si.

The thought of leaving you

makes the coach very sad.

Coach, come on.

Si, but go I must,

and so ciao.

All right, Coach!

I gotta be home by 10.

Whoo-hoo!

Idiots.

No, wait. Wait. Wait.

Jessica Alba. Courtney Cox.

And Rachael Ray.

Rachael Ray.
- She knows how to cook.

Huh?
- Yeah! That's a list!

Yeah! Yeah!

What about you, Coach?

Three women on a deserted
island. Who would you pick?

Okay, okay. Uh--

Tina Turner. Uh--

Emily Dickinson.

And maybe Hillary Clinton.

Dude,
is Emily Dickinson hot?

Oh, she most smoking hot.

How do you say this?
Smolder.

Bene.

# Rushing people
swish and sway #

# In the breeze #

# The writing's on the wall #

# Unified field open up-- #

Maybe she had car trouble.

I'm sure she had
an emergency at work.

You know my mom.

Saving lives, one hair
appointment at a time.

Well, whatever it was,
I'm sure it was pretty important.

Yes. Mi excuse.

Whoa. Nice phone.

Hmm!

Uh, Lorenzo must, uh-- how
you say-- going. I must going.

No. So-- you wouldn't put
Dee Dee on that list, huh?

Oh, no, no. No.

Not Dee Dee. No.

Why not?

She ain't
pretty enough for you?

Oh, no. She pretty.

How do you say? Beautiful!
Uh-- poppers.

So.

You do wanna
get with her.

Um-- excuse me. Miss.

Maybe having some water,
please.

For the-- peanuts--
- One water, coming up.

You know, what would you
do with Dee Dee

on that deserted island?

Hmm-- a little of this and that.

And maybe then, backgammon.
Board games.

Maybe some talking.

Wood carving. I don't know. Mm-hm.

Mm. Maybe finger-painting.
You know. Scrapbooking.

Hey.
- Hey. What can I get for you guys?

Yes.

So I use the company jet.

Ah! This for me.
- Yes.

What is this?
- Water.

Lorenzo drinks vodka.

Are you saying you want a--
- Vodka.

But you said--
- Lorenzo drinks vodka.

But--
- Vodka.

Vodka.

Vodka.

Grazie.

Ahem. So these two women,
I have--

Lorenzo really must go.

Now-- now wait a minute.

Before you go,
you gotta tell us.

What's it like
being on a field

with a thousand screaming
women around you?

Oh, very exciting.
But first,

Lorenzo, I must go
into the bathroom.

Oh, okay.
But when you get back,

you're gonna tell us
everything, right?

I hope this is better, sir.
- Oh. Grazie.

It's vodka! Oh, I sorry.

Scusi. Scusi.
- Stop. Stop. Don't touch.

No, I mean it!
- Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!

That no-good
two-timin' my Dee Dee?

Hmph.

Look, now. Do you like
the beer or the wine?

The vino.
I like the vino.

Okay. I think I got it now.

Here's your water.

Grazie.

Pazza!

Isn't that Coach?

Yeah. Wasn't he wearing
a warm-up suit,

like, 30 seconds ago?
- Yeah!

Did you see this woman?
She's crazy.

She dump the water.
Look at my hair.

I look like a strega.

And I got some more
for you.

Augh!
- Thank you.

Bene. Bene.

Anybody else? Huh?

You want to see crazy? Huh?

Come-- yeah. This is crazy.

Hey. This is nice! I miss it.

My hair. It's like
the mousse, huh?

Good night!

How are we gettin' home?

That's a good question.

Hey, the photographer's
gonna leave.

Let's take a picture.

Oh, no.
You guys go ahead.

Come on, Becca.

Are you sure?

Oh, yeah, trust me.

Remember, orphans
are very tough.

All right.

This is too rich.

You know what to do.

Gee, how does it feel to be
stood up by your own mom?

My mom had an emergency
at work.

You know, work--

what the rest of the world
does to pay the bills.

I've heard of it.

But I'll probably
never have to do it.

Oh, you're in luck.
Your mom's here.

Now you can take a photo.

Oh, guys.

Oh, hi, Mom.

Wha--

Oh, her?

She's just jealous

because even though you're
made of a mop and a plate,

you still have more
human parts than her mom.

And I think her rage

comes from being aware

that her mother's
high demands may

temporarily make her
a high achiever.

But deep down, she knows
she'll peak in high school

and then spend the rest
of her life wondering

why nobody else
thinks she's so special.

It's sad.

Okay!

Your nose cost
more than their car.

Red card.

Let me get her.
Mom, get off of me.

Hey, what's going on?

Hey, hey.

What are you doing?
Stop it.

You suck, Mom.

Keep the ball
on the ground, Becca.

All right, Laurie, back up.

Shoot! Shoot to the goal!

Shoot! Shoot!

Whoo!

Laurie
is kicking meteors,

and Becca's,
like, passing like,

well, what's her name,
some sort of meat product.

Mia Hamm?
- Yeah.

They're great,
it's just that, uh,

they've kind of plateaued.

Plateaued?

Yeah, there's still something
missing from their game, Wendy.

Yes!

Good game, good game.
Good game, good game.

Hey, Coach.

Oh, hello.

Where is the smile?

You win today, no?

Barely.

Ahh, you either win or lose.
There is no barely win.

Well,
we barely beat a team

that Malibu beat
by five goals last week.

We got a lot of work
to do before regionals.

So you got a lot of work
to do, capisce? Hey.

Lorenzo tell you something

you're never
gonna forget, okay?

And I learned this
the hard way.

Nothing worth having
comes easy.

Bene?
- Okay.

Okay.
- Okay.

You go.
- Thanks, Coach.

I see you at home.
- What?

I said I'd like
to go to Rome.

Not today.

But, you know, someday.

What am I doing?

Okay, you go first.

All right.

# You can't shake the past,
even if you broke free #

# Where would you run to? #

# You don't like
the road you're on #

# There's nothing left
to see #

# The pain in your eyes
has been blinding you #

# Still, you keep moving on,
fighting on #

# Nowhere #

# Why don't you run? #

# Can't you see
you can be here with me #

Hello.

Hello.

May I see your
driver's license, please?

Oh, prego, prego.

Really?

It's an old picture.

Mmm.

Behind the Record Book.

The Lorenzo Vincenzo Story.

Known for his signature moves,

the great Lorenzo was one

of the top ten players
in the world.

His team would win three
National Championships

and two World Cups.

But his unpredictable temper
got him in trouble

during the last World Cup,

resulting in a six-month
suspension.

Coupled with
a chronic knee injury,

it would keep him
on the sidelines of the game.

But his talent
was undeniable.

Why do creepy guys
always get the moves?

He's like a creepy, hairy
Justin Timberlake.

We caught up with Lorenzo
in an exclusive interview

during a career high point.

Uh, I don't know
why God gives me

this great gift
for the soccer, right?

But I feel the football

like Michelangelo
feel the painting,

like David Hasselhoff
feel the Baywatch,

like Verdi feels the music-a.

It's very nice.

Feel the music-a.

Feel the music.

Feel the music-a.

Feel the music-a.

# Flirting with disaster #

# You're the one I'm after #

# Think I found my destiny #

# Luxury and danger #

# Rationing, my stranger #

# Hold me close #

# Don't let me be #

# I can fly on the wings
of my heart #

# Deep inside,
I've been falling apart #

# All alone #

# There's a magic in you #

# And I'll be #

# Under your spell
of your love #

Nice.

Goal for Mom.

Check it out.

Whoa.

Cool.

# Flying on the wings #

# Flying on the wings #

# Flying on the wings
of my heart #

# I can fly #

# On the wings of my heart #

# Deep inside #

# I've been falling apart #

# All alone #

# There's a magic in you #

# And I'll be #

# Under your spell #

That was really cool.

It looked like
you were dancing.

What about your knee?
I thought you couldn't--

Listen, champions,
they do what they love

in spite of the pain, yes?

Sometimes maybe
even because of it.

But remember this always,

and you will have the heart
of the champion, yes?

Okay. You guys-- girls,
you come with me

I have many wonderful things
for to teach you, yes?

Right, find the rhythm,
girls.

Feel the music-a, girls.

Yes, a-find the rhythm.

Feel the music-a, yes.

Here's the play.

Becca here,

Laurie, Faith--
- What about, uh--

Is this a bad time?
I can come back.

No, no, no.
- No, no, sit.

I have to go use the, uh--

How do you say in Italian?
Little boys' room.

Little boys' room, a-yes, go.

Okay, now, please, uh,

sit, uh, sitting down, yes.

Okay.

So, you're, uh, leaving

for a promotional tour
after regionals?

Ah, yes. This is true.

I must, you know,
make the bacon, of course.

Um, well, I, uh,

I kind of have
something for you.

Oh.

It's kind of
like a souvenir.

I mean, it's not, like,
a snow globe, or anything.

Oh, that's too bad.
Lorenzo loves these snow globes.

And also the tiny
souvenir shot glass,

and the key chain

with his own name on it
because it's nice, yes.

Well,
I'll keep that in mind.

Okay.

This is, um,

like a thank-you gift,
I guess.

I didn't have time
to wrap it, but...

This was my dad's.
It's real silver.

No.

I'm so sorry, bambina,
I cannot accept this.

Oh, no, please.
It's just sitting in a box.

It's a prezioso memory
of your pappa, you know,

something
the mamma should have,

not someone
you barely know.

No, my mom doesn't care.
She doesn't get me.

Aww, Lorenzo don't know about
this-- this mamma of yours,

she lose pappa, too, no?

Yeah.

And, uh, now
she working very hard

to take care
of all the babies.

Yeah. She's always working.

She must love this job,
then, if she--

No, no.
She loved her old job.

She was a dancer.

But it hardly paid,
and it wasn't steady.

She had to quit
when my dad died

to get a regular paycheck.

Well, this sound
like someone who care.

I mean, this sound like
someone who care very much.

But there is more, yes?

It's just I'm so mad
at her all the time.

Don't ask me why,
it's just,

I look at her, and all
I think of is my dad.

The accident, and...

You wondering.

You wonder why she survived
and he did not?

I'm sure she ask herself
this question too.

Please
don't go next week.

Please don't go.

I'll always be here
for you, yes.

That's my ride, I'm sorry.

Well, you-- you go. Ciao.

Thank you.

What happened?

I want out, Tony.

I'm counting the seconds
until regionals

so I can stop all this
craziness.

Then break
my daughter's heart.

What was I thinking?

You were thinking
you didn't want her to have

another disappointment
in her life.

No, I just wanted to spend time
with her. I did this for me, not her.

It was selfish and wrong,

and now I'm going to hurt her
all over again when he leaves.

Careful,
your face will drip off.

Wendy, listen to me.

You are a great mother.

Okay? Those kids
are lucky to have you.

Anybody would be lucky
to have you in their life.

Um, what--

Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
You're gay, I was--

What? No. No, no, no.
Not gay.

I-- uh,

look,
I know everyone assumes

because of
the hairdresser thing,

and because I'm so witty
and well-dressed.

But, um, I've actually

always imagined
kissing you.

Maybe not
with the goatee and--

You mean, this doesn't
do anything for you?

Not really, no.

How surprising.

But, oh, what the hell.

Oh, this just takes the cake
and the biscuit.

Oh, ciao, bambolina,
now it's--

Listen, Luigi,
announcement--

You and I are through, okay?

Oh, and by the way,

he came on to me first.

You know what? You are
one crazy Italian freak.

Baby, no.

Wait, wait. Where you go?

You came on to her first.

Only because I had to find my
eyebrow. I had to get it back.

Really?
- Yeah.

You know what?
I got to go.

Oh, don't be like--
Oh, no.

Sorry, just don't think
I can handle--

Wait. Where are you going?

Come. Come back to me.

Hi, honey.

Hey, Mom.

Yeah.

Could you give me chills?

Yeah.

Remember the last time
you asked for chills.

You nervous about
the regionals tomorrow?

A little.

We can
beat Malibu Majestic.

We all feel it now.

You know, I was thinking,

maybe we could take
a dance class sometime.

You know, it'd be kind of fun,
taking a class together.

Yeah, that'd be really nice.

I got to warn you, though.

My moves are even more
embarrassing than you remember.

Not possible.

Mom?

Yeah.

I'm sorry if I say
things sometimes,

and if I hurt you
when we talk.

I'm really sorry.

It's okay. I know.

Come here.

I don't suppose this means
you'll be taking down

those "Keep Out" signs
at the door.

Don't push it.

Finals.

Look at me.

I'm up early.

Mango?

Mango!

Mango!

Hello. You know who I am,
so leave a message.

Don't be a coy little--

Harry, it's me, listen.

I need a new nose.

I'm coaching
the regionals today,

and the dog ate my nose.

Okay, call me.

Oh.

Hey.

Welcome to the Cal
South State Cup Regional Finals,

where the best
female soccer teams come

to battle it out
and claim the cup.

Two teams to watch today

are the three-time
champions, the Majestics,

the hot-shot team
from Malibu,

and the Mar Vista Galaxy,

who've had a surprising
comeback this season

under the Italian superstar,
Coach Lorenzo Vincenzo

It seems like this rivalry

is turning
into a real grudge match.

You're on field 6.

See you out there in the red.

Hey, I'll see you at kick-off.
- Okay.

Have a good game.
- Thanks.

Lorenzo. There's Lorenzo!

Lorenzo.
- Ciao, bella.

Ah, si.

Lorenzo Vincenzo.

That's me.

Okay.
- Thank you.

Hey! Welcome, Mr. Vincenzo.

Welcome
to the Cal South Games.

Biggest soccer tournament
west of the Mississippi.

Hey, hey, Lorenzo!

Well, I know, uh,
your team's

probably real anxious
to meet you,

so let's get you over
to field number 12, shall we?

Si, anxious to see me.
Yeah.

Okay, we go.
I sign deal for that.

Uh, you know, my people,
they say I'm must stay all day

to hand out the awards
to the bambinas.

Right, well,
it means a lot to the kids

to be handed a trophy
by someone of your stature.

Of course.

Just remember,
I have to leave early, huh?

Can't we go in yet?

Nope, not till Mommy's
got her nose.

What?

I mean, got your nose.

Actually,
I've got your nose, Wendy.

Oh, I could kiss you
right now.

Uh, put your costume on,

and then, we'll talk.
Okay.

Kiddies, come
with Uncle Harry, please.

All right, go, go, go.

Let's go get
some junk food.

Bye, Mom.

See you at kick-off, bye.

Bye.

The nose a-make the man, no?

And in the semis,

Galaxy and the Crush
are really going at it

on field 7.

Galaxy is playing
really well

under Lorenzo Vincenzo's
coaching.

There's a shot past the
keeper, and it's good.

That's 2 for Galaxy.

Looks like a Galaxy game.

This puts Galaxies
in the finals,

where they'll be playing their
old nemesis, Malibu Majestic.

Should be a very
interesting game.

This really looks like a
comeback season for the Galaxy.

We heard Lorenzo Vincenzo
is coaching you guys.

Well, you heard right.

Yeah, you'll sure need him to have
half a chance against our team.

Too bad you don't
have our secret weapon.

...very special here today,

the highest scoring defender

in the history
of American women's soccer,

and a gold medal winner
at the 2004 Olympic games.

Please welcome
Malibu Majestic coach,

Joy Fawcett.

Great.

Oh, yeah.

My daddy pulled a few strings.

Didn't he have to do that

so you wouldn't have to
repeat seventh grade again?

No, we still
had to repeat that.

You don't even know
how to try. Ugh!

What? The second time
was fun.

Vincenzo, your team is
waiting for you with open arms.

Have a good game.
- Lorenzo Vincenzo.

Uh, game?

Ciao, ciao.
- What's up?

Scusi.
You want me to sign shirt?

No.

What are you talking about?

Oh, come on.

Uh...

I just want you to know,

despite
what you thought before,

you're the only dude
I ever wanted to kiss.

Oh, I am a genius.

You look exactly
like Lorenzo Vincenzo.

Ah! I am
Lorenzo Vincenzo.

Oh, that's the spirit.

Come on, kids.

Pazzo, pazzo, pazzo.

Here you go.

Dad, can I have one of those?

Yeah, sweetie.

Can I have
your autograph?

Oh, sure. Your pen.

I love this picture.

This is from Brut and Bronze

and nothing by Faberg�.
This was different.

None of that cologne.

Of course, hairy chest.

You like my chest?
- I love it.

And I like to just squeeze,
I like to squeeze and let go.

Like, sometimes when I bang,
I have the, uh, crush.

In America, what is with
the bark on the ground?

In Italy,
we don't have the bark.

You want a heart, too?

Ciao.

Oh, there you are.

Pronto.

Hello, is this the great
Lorenzo?

Ah, si.

This is
Julia Robert--son.

Julia Robertson.

Ah, Julia.

What can I do for you?

Well,

I'm a big, big fan, and I just
saw you on the tournament.

- I look good, no?
- Uh, y-- very good.

And I just did something
very, very bad.

You see, I thought the great
Lorenzo might like some company,

so I booked us a room

at the hotel
across the street.

Yes, yes.

This is very, very bad.

For you, I have
a very special punishment.

I will need
a zookeeper's uniform

and a birth device.

Well, that's exactly
what I'm into.

I'm in room, uh, 648.
I'll see you in five minutes.

Okay.

That's nice.

Buon giorno, Galaxy girls.

How many times is
that guy gonna change?

He's Eyetalian.

Prego.

Hey, Coach, are you okay?

Si, uh, why would I
not be okay?

You're acting kind of weird.

Hey, uno momento, signore.

Okay, okay.

Everyone puts
the hands here.

Remember, you are champions
in the heart, yes?

Si.

Okay. Now, when you go out there
and play on this field today,

you playing
with all your heart, si?

Si.

So, how you say-a,
do the math?

What you waiting for, I send
you a message on your MySpaces?

Let's go play soccer!

1, 2, 3, Galaxy!

Go get 'em!

The great
but very lonely Lorenzo

is here to punish you,
my very, very bad girl.

I ordered the meatloaf
sandwich, but, uh, you'll do.

Or maybe--

Aah, aah, oh!

Ahh, there's a nice pass

in this final game
of the tournament.

Oh, and Malibu Majestic
steals the ball.

Moving down-field
with a vengeance.

Nice defense from Galaxy.

Come on, yes. dance-a,

dance-a,
dance-a on the field.

Will you take over
for a sec?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Come on, girls, we can do this!

Let's go!

Very good guard control.

Closing in
on the Malibu goalie.

Shoot! Shoot!

Oh, and here's the shot.

A little weak.
They rushed that.

They're going to have to do
better than that

to beat the three-time lead
champs Malibu.

Stay with her.

Hey.
- Hey.

Go around.

Becca!

Go, Becca, go!

I'm here.

Galaxy drives.

Malibu gets it back.

Going down the offense.

Nice footwork.

Moving over to the right.

Oh, and such a nice pass.

This is where it gets
dangerous for Galaxy.

With Malibu this close in,
anything can happen.

And there it goes
across the middle.

Keeper back and ready.

And there's a shot.

And it's good.

Malibu scored the first
goal of the game.

And they're on top, 1-0.

Galaxy in a tough
situation here.

Where's Coach Lorenzo
when we need him?

Yeah, where is that guy?

You okay?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm going to go get
some water, some stuff.

I'll be back.

Go. Good one.

Yeah.

Come on.

Kick it, come on.

Looks like Malibu has
heard the wake-up call

and are taking the Galaxy
threat seriously.

They're turning up the heat.

Take it left. Take it left.

There's a whistle
for the first half.

Malibu Majestic is up.

Bravo, bravo
in the first half.

Good job, guys. Good job.

Looking good, girls,
all right.

Bene, good job.

Way to hustle.

Looking good, yes.

Bene, nice work.

Get some water, hydrating.

Is something
going on at the sidelines?

Who are you?

I can't quite
make it out, but, uh,

am I seeing double?

I am Lorenzo Vincenzo.

Eh?

No, because I am
Lorenzo Vincenzo.

Eh?

Who are you?

We are a-both
Lorenzo Vincenzo.

Bravo, yes. Bravo.

Let's a-play soccer, eh?

Ahem, I think it's
time to give it up.

Aah!

Ow, my nose.

My nose.

I know that voice.

Oh.

This is weird.

Aah!

Whoa.

I'll do it.

Oh.

Aah.

The crazy woman.

Oh, my God.

Aah.

I'm so sorry.

Why?

Sweetie,

I knew it was totally
crazy, but I just--

I couldn't bear telling you
I'd blown the chance

for you to be coached by
someone you really look up to.

I knew
it would crush you,

and I just couldn't
let that happen.

Then everything
was just a big, huge lie?

I'm really sorry.

I can't believe you let me
embarrass myself that way.

And by the way,
you're a terrible kisser.

Sure fooled them.

Go and get some hot dogs.
I'll be right over.

Should we clean you up?

Yeah, yeah.
I'll get it.

We'll be fine.

Thanks.

I guess you can't
really blame them.

You know what?

Apologies only go so far.

Sometimes, people need
a little, uh, coaching.

It's time to lead them
for real, Wendy.

You're on.

Wait a minute, I-- Hey.

Hey, wait a minute,
everybody.

I've got something
I want to say.

Hey, girls, get back here.

You're not done yet.

Listen up,
all you Galaxy girls.

I got one last thing
to say to you, okay?

I'm really sorry
this whole thing went so far.

I didn't mean for it to.

I was--

I was afraid
of losing my daughter,

so I made a very bad decision.

But please, don't walk away
from this game today

because I was an idiot.

You all thought that you
were playing well

because you finally
had a great coach again.

But really,
it was you guys all along.

Your skills and your hearts,

that is what got you
here today.

You just needed a little
something extra, a little magic,

and so you believed in
this famous guy Lorenzo,

but it doesn't matter
what I think,

or what Lorenzo thinks,
or what anyone else thinks.

The question now is

do you believe
you're champions?

Let's play soccer.

Well?

You gonna--
You want an invitation?

I should send you an Evite?

Let's go play soccer.

Just get the job done.

I don't care if you have
to pull their hair out.

Get it done. 1, 2, 3,

Malibu!

Okay, you guys, we can beat Malibu.
We can, all right?

We just got to run hard,

and make sure
you stay on side,

and mark up
on number 2 and 3, okay?

We got this.

Galaxy!

You got this, girls.

Let's go, girls.

Welcome back

to the second half
of the match.

Galaxy really needs
to move forward and score

if they want to stay
in this game.

Get the ball, Becca.

Malibu has the momentum,

They seem to be ready
to score another goal

and just end the match.

They play good
for little girls.

Galaxy girls
feeling the pressure,

keeping a good defense.

I'm sorry
I nearly crippled you.

Nah.

I'm sorry
I give you the squeeze

when you no want
the squeeze.

I tell you, both teams
are playing hard.

I get the squeeze now?

Still no squeeze.
- Va bene.

Here's the pass from Galaxy,

taking it down
into Malibu territory.

Aah!
- Aah!

Ouch, there's a collision.

Malibu girls down.
Hope they're okay.

Vicki! Go, go, go, go, yeah!

Galaxy is picking up
the pace.

Moving forward,
crushing the Malibu team.

They are really starting
to open up the game, now.

Come on! Feel the rhythm.

And there's a nice ball
into the corner.

Center it. Center it.

That's got your name
on it, Laurie.

That's got your name
on it. Let's go!

Passing back over
to Becca Handler.

She chips it up into the box.

In for the header,

and there it is,
it's a goal!

Nicely done.

Galaxy has tied it up--

Looks like anybody's game
from here.

Galaxy really starting
to look confident.

That's our baby girl.
That's our baby girl.

No, don't you start with--

With what? Hmm?

This is a new experience
for Malibu.

They're showing a little
frustration now.

Ref, they just can't
go out here and play.

And if you would read
the application,

it clearly states Lorenzo Vincenzo
is coaching this team today.

And this whatever,
is not Lorenzo Vincenzo.

And that is an automatic
forfeit.

All right, girls.

It's over here.

Excuse me.

Um, I'm afraid she's right.

I'm sorry.

Scusi.

Lorenzo

is here
to coach the team,

just like
the application says.

Otherwise,
these Galaxy ragazzas

no get a chance
to finish what they start.

Eh?

Yeah.
That settles it.

Let the game
continue!

Okay, Galaxy girls.
Quick, huddle up.

Becca, I need you here.
Laurie, I need you here.

I want you guys to drive for the
goal here, pass to Tamara here.

Unless Lorenzo the Great
has a better idea.

No, no, this is exactly
what I would do.

Let's go out there.
All right, let's do it!

Some unusual activity
in the sidelines

for the second time
this game.

But it looks like they're
resuming play.

Wait.
Let me get this straight.

So she's your mom,
and she's a dude.

No, Tiffany,
she's just my mom.

But she's twice the person
you'll ever be.

Hey, just because
you scored one goal,

don't get all "Rudy" on me.

You know
this is the same play

we run at the championship
against Brazil.

I know.

You know
we lost that game.

Still a good play.

Coming off the free kick,
the pressure is really on

for these two terrific teams.

Imagine, a whole season
comes down to one point.

Come on girls!
We can do this!

Let's go!

Go all the way!
Shoot!

Both teams playing
very aggressively.

They both want this.

A lot of contact going
after every 50/50 ball.

Both teams looking to score.

Remember the moves, right?
Remember the moves!

Feel the music, right?

Slide it out, slide it out.

I'm open.
- I'm open!

And there's a pass
to Becca Handler.

Oh, and there's a Lorenzo
Vincenzo signature move.

Very nicely done.

Take it down all the way!

Galaxy position
looks very strong.

Moving forward.

Go, go, go!
Laurie, that was--

There's the fast break.

That one's got
your name on it!

And the keeper moving out,
trying to cut the angle.

She dribbles forward.

She shoots.

The keeper deflects the ball,
hits the post. It's good!

It's over the line,
it's a goal!

Mar Vista Galaxy
has defeated Malibu Majestic

to win the Cal State Finals.

This is an incredible
end game for the Galaxy.

What a comeback season.

Unbelievable.

Fantastic.

This is what soccer
is all about.

Thanks a lot.
You guys were a big help.

You don't have to be
anyone else, Mom.

Just be yourself, okay?

All right. Come here.

I'm so proud of you.

We won!

Galaxy! Galaxy! Galaxy!
Galaxy! Galaxy! Galaxy! Galaxy!

Good game.

You, too.

You guys had
a great season, too.

Hey. Don't push it.

All together now,
Galaxy girls.

Wait. Someone's missing.

Lorenzo!

Everybody say Formaggio.

Formaggio.

Hey, you don't have to do that.
- I know, I know.

Here. And you have
so much time.

All the time
in the world left.

Yeah. See you soon.

# Here we are #

# We've come this far #

Let's go! Whoo!

You sure you got everything, Mom?

Water, sunscreen,

maybe a spare nose?

Very funny, Becca.

# You know I can't pretend #

# It's not an accident #

# I have become
somebody else #

# There's so much
I want to say #

# You see me every day #

# I wish that I could
shout it out #

# You gotta run #

Aah! Are you crazy?

Get out of here.
A-sorry.

Mi dispiace.

Mi scusi.

# You gotta know #

# You can't have anything #

# You gotta be #

# The best that you can be #

# But don't change for me #

# Some things I try to hide #

# You see through
my disguise #

# When you are
tearing down the wall #

# You're gonna figure out #

# I know without a doubt #

# These things
don't matter much at all #

Aah! Oh, you again.

I sorry again. I tell
you, I already sorry.

No, see, I don't understand
the door language.

# You gotta believe #

# You can make it
up that hill #

# You gotta know #

# You can have anything #

# But you gotta be #

# The best that you can be #

# Don't change me #

# But don't change for me #

# Sorry #

# Is not a word
I want to use #

# So easily #

# I need to know
that life won't pass #

# You by #

# You gotta run #

# This word
ain't standing still #

# You gotta believe #

# You can make it
up that hill #

# You gotta know #

# You can have anything #

# You gotta be #

# The best that you can be #

# Well, don't change for me #
# You gotta know #

# This world
ain't standing still #

# You gotta believe #

# You can make it
up that hill #

# You gotta know #

# You gotta know
you can have anything #

# You gotta be #

# The best that you can be #

# But don't
change for me #

# I have become
somebody else #