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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:16,668 --> 00:00:17,974 ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪ 4 00:00:18,061 --> 00:00:21,369 ♪ ["69 Blues" by the BoDeans] ♪ 5 00:00:21,456 --> 00:00:23,153 ♪ [rockin' road trip music] ♪ 6 00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,808 ♪ Read your letter in the mail today ♪ 7 00:00:25,895 --> 00:00:28,158 ♪ Made me feel better than yesterday ♪ 8 00:00:28,245 --> 00:00:29,855 ♪ Promise that you love me ♪ 9 00:00:29,942 --> 00:00:31,814 ♪ Told me that you'd stay ♪ 10 00:00:31,901 --> 00:00:33,816 ♪ Baby, baby, then you went away ♪ 11 00:00:33,903 --> 00:00:39,126 ♪ Little girl, you drive me crazy ♪ 12 00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:42,955 ♪ Loneliness on the rise ♪ 13 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,914 -[Joe] Take it easy. 14 00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:46,698 ♪ Find some way ♪ 15 00:00:46,785 --> 00:00:48,744 -[Jake] How could you do this to me? 16 00:00:48,831 --> 00:00:50,659 -Jake, I didn't mean to mislead you, 17 00:00:50,746 --> 00:00:52,313 but it was only a couple of dates! 18 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:53,618 -Yah? 19 00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:55,533 Maybe that's all it was to you. 20 00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:58,275 -[man groans] Ugh! -[woman exclaims] Oh! 21 00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:01,496 -I am so glad that it's you she's with, you shit. 22 00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:04,934 You're not so tough when you're not on stage, are ya? 23 00:01:05,021 --> 00:01:06,892 Let's see how funny ya are 24 00:01:06,979 --> 00:01:09,982 when I dump you in Green Bay with a big rock attached to ya. 25 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,637 So long, Mr. Microphone. 26 00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:14,770 ♪ ♪ 27 00:01:14,857 --> 00:01:17,294 -Man, [laughs lightly] some people have no sense of humor. 28 00:01:17,381 --> 00:01:21,516 As long as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a comic. 29 00:01:21,603 --> 00:01:23,779 I did my first open mic when I was 18. 30 00:01:24,649 --> 00:01:27,174 I got to be a pretty big fish... 31 00:01:27,261 --> 00:01:28,653 ...in Chicago. 32 00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,569 When I first got to L.A., 33 00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:33,789 everybody said I was the next big thing. 34 00:01:33,876 --> 00:01:35,704 I actually believed them. 35 00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:37,271 Ten years later, 36 00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:38,837 I'm still paying my dues. 37 00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:40,665 Thank you... -[MC] Joe Keegan right there! 38 00:01:40,752 --> 00:01:42,406 -It's not like I didn't have my opportunities. 39 00:01:42,493 --> 00:01:46,193 But somehow, I managed to blow 'em all. 40 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,020 There was the time I auditioned for the Letterman people, 41 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,458 and it was going great. 42 00:01:50,545 --> 00:01:52,373 Till the FBI broke in and busted a guy 43 00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:54,462 who was on "America's Most Wanted" the night before. 44 00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:56,942 I don't know why you'd sit in the front row at a comedy club 45 00:01:57,029 --> 00:01:58,596 after you're on "America's Most Wanted," 46 00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:01,599 but maybe he doesn't watch TV. 47 00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:03,471 See, here's what happens. 48 00:02:03,558 --> 00:02:04,950 Every comic that's worth his salt 49 00:02:05,037 --> 00:02:07,170 wants to get up in front of these guys, 50 00:02:07,257 --> 00:02:09,738 the network executives that can change your life, 51 00:02:09,825 --> 00:02:13,045 make you the next Jerry Seinfeld or Chris Rock. 52 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,917 Talk about pressure. 53 00:02:15,004 --> 00:02:17,485 It's enough to make you your own worst enemy. 54 00:02:17,572 --> 00:02:19,313 Unless you're a total hack, 55 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,966 who's been doing the same material for ten years. 56 00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:22,446 -[Higgins] See, as comedians, 57 00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:24,231 we think differently than you folks do. 58 00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:26,189 That's our job. 59 00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:28,409 A good example of that: a couple of weeks back, 60 00:02:28,496 --> 00:02:31,412 my girlfriend sends me out to pick her up some pads... 61 00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:32,587 [audience member groans] 62 00:02:32,674 --> 00:02:34,502 ...with wings. [laughter] 63 00:02:34,589 --> 00:02:36,417 I said, "Baby, wings? 64 00:02:36,504 --> 00:02:38,462 What are you gonna do, fly away on me?" 65 00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:40,247 I'll tell you what though, folks. 66 00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:42,423 If we ain't having sex, she might as well take off. 67 00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,033 -[laughter, applause, "Whoo!"] -C'mon, who's with me on this?! 68 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:46,035 All right, folks, let's bring up your next act. 69 00:02:46,122 --> 00:02:47,384 The next gentleman coming to the stage 70 00:02:47,471 --> 00:02:49,517 is a funny man who has been trying 71 00:02:49,604 --> 00:02:52,172 to get on network television for quite a long time now. 72 00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:54,826 And let me just say, on a personal note, 73 00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:56,785 Higgins is pulling for this kid. 74 00:02:56,872 --> 00:02:58,787 Ladies and gentlemen, a big hand, if you would, 75 00:02:58,874 --> 00:03:00,310 for Mr. Joe Keegan. 76 00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:01,833 Joseph! [applause] 77 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,487 Come on, folks! Let's hear it. 78 00:03:03,574 --> 00:03:06,795 [swanky synthesizer music] 79 00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:09,319 Try not to suck. 80 00:03:09,406 --> 00:03:11,365 -Thanks a lot, folks. 81 00:03:11,452 --> 00:03:13,193 How about another hand for Higgins? 82 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,542 One more time for Higgins! 83 00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:16,021 [applause] 84 00:03:16,108 --> 00:03:17,893 All right. Well, it's good to be here. 85 00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,199 I actually just literally flew back into town like 2 hours ago. 86 00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:21,157 Let me just say, 87 00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:24,204 there are some snotty people flying the airlines these days. 88 00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:26,249 I'm sitting there on the plane, I pull out my computer, 89 00:03:26,336 --> 00:03:28,686 the guy next to me gets all pissy. 90 00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:30,297 I'm like, "Excuse me. 91 00:03:30,384 --> 00:03:33,648 Sorry I can't afford a laptop." [laughter] 92 00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:36,825 -I guess that joke's only for people that fly a lot. 93 00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:39,523 -Yeah, or people with a good sense of humor. 94 00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:43,005 [laughter] 95 00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:44,746 I'll tell you another thing that really burns me up, folks, 96 00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:47,009 public breastfeeding, 97 00:03:47,096 --> 00:03:49,011 not so much when the women do it. [audience laughs] 98 00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:50,404 -I breastfed all of my kids! 99 00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:51,753 Ya got something against breastfeeding? 100 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,363 [knock over her glass] -I like it. 101 00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:54,843 I just think ideally the blood alcohol level 102 00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:56,627 should be a little lower than yours. 103 00:03:56,714 --> 00:03:59,587 -[Man] You're calling my mom a drunk? 104 00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:02,503 -[Joe] Your mom? 105 00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,635 -[Man] You're saying she's a drunk?! 106 00:04:04,722 --> 00:04:06,724 -No, I'm not. 107 00:04:06,811 --> 00:04:09,901 I think she's the sober one. [isolated laughter] 108 00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:14,079 My name is Joe Keegan. 109 00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:16,125 -Ugh! 110 00:04:16,212 --> 00:04:19,781 [phone ringing, car alarm blaring] 111 00:04:19,868 --> 00:04:22,218 -[answering machine] Hey, it's Joe, thanks for calling. 112 00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:23,524 [beep] 113 00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:25,308 -Hey, it's me again. 114 00:04:25,395 --> 00:04:26,831 Come on, Keegan! 115 00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:28,268 Hey, if you've got auditions, 116 00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:29,747 it's no reason to give up the lifestyle. 117 00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:32,359 Hey, last night, me and Higgins dined and dashed. 118 00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:34,361 You think your friends back in Chicago sitting behind desks 119 00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:35,840 are doing that type of shit? 120 00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:37,538 I doubt it. 121 00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:39,104 All right, enough's enough, Keegan. 122 00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:41,237 Answer the phone. [car horn beeps] 123 00:04:42,238 --> 00:04:43,674 Pick up the fucking phone! 124 00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:45,589 -Hello? 125 00:04:45,676 --> 00:04:47,199 -I just got us an audition for The Tonight Show. 126 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,375 Let's get some food. 127 00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:50,159 I'll give you all the details. 128 00:04:50,246 --> 00:04:52,596 [cars honking] 129 00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:54,206 -Okay, so I've worked this room before. 130 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,599 You know, it's a roadside bar. 131 00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:57,035 They've got comedy on the weekends. 132 00:04:57,122 --> 00:04:58,210 You know the drill. 133 00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,516 They love me there. 134 00:04:59,603 --> 00:05:00,691 The crowds are great. 135 00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:02,519 It's practically a done deal. 136 00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:04,826 -Why is Harvey Skorik auditioning people in some bar? 137 00:05:04,913 --> 00:05:06,480 -He's not really auditioning people. 138 00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:07,872 It's in his hometown. 139 00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:09,352 See, he and the bar owner, Ralphy, 140 00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:11,267 they went to high school together. 141 00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:13,225 He goes back there every year on this particular weekend 142 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,402 for Rocktoberfest. 143 00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:17,360 -Rocktoberfest? [laughs] -Mm-hmm. 144 00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:20,581 -Where is this place? -It's in Wisconsin. 145 00:05:20,668 --> 00:05:22,234 [laughs dismissively] What? 146 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,411 Did I not mention that? I could swear I did. 147 00:05:24,498 --> 00:05:26,413 Anyway, the shows start Thursday night, 148 00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,415 so we'd have to leave, like, right after dinner. 149 00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:32,549 -You're gonna drive 2,000 miles in the off chance 150 00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:35,639 that Harvey Skorik will be at your show Saturday night? 151 00:05:35,726 --> 00:05:38,163 -He's been there every year for the last eight years. 152 00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:41,297 -That's a long way to drive for a "We should stay in touch." 153 00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:42,864 -All right, Joe, listen to me. 154 00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:44,866 Even if I would get from Harvey Skorik 155 00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:46,911 a "We should stay in touch," it's still worth it. 156 00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:48,478 You've gotta get out of town. 157 00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:51,351 You're gonna get back on the road. 158 00:05:51,438 --> 00:05:53,570 ♪ Come on, Joe! ♪ ♪ You got to go! ♪ 159 00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:56,007 ♪ I say, come on, Joe! ♪ ♪ Go, my friend ♪ 160 00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:58,793 ♪ You're my friend, Joe! ♪ ♪ You got to go, go, go! ♪ 161 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,361 ♪ Gotta go, Joe, Joe! ♪ ♪ Joe, you got to go! ♪ 162 00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:03,145 ♪ Come on, Joe ♪ ♪ Go, Joe...! ♪ 163 00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:06,366 -All right, I will. -Ah, that's my boy! 164 00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:07,932 -Get it up! Ahh! 165 00:06:08,019 --> 00:06:09,586 -I don't know how we're going to do this. 166 00:06:09,673 --> 00:06:11,153 We're both broke. 167 00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:14,069 -Get the car. I'll meet you out back. 168 00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:18,813 [whispers] Go. 169 00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:23,600 [police siren in background] 170 00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:36,831 ♪ ♪ 171 00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:38,920 -Has Harvey Skorik ever booked anyone he's seen at...? 172 00:06:39,007 --> 00:06:40,922 -Ralphy's -Ralphy's? 173 00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:42,924 -Fucking A, Troy Brennan got it the first year they did it. 174 00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:44,752 Nobody's gotten it since 175 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:46,536 because for the past seven years Higgins has been doing it. 176 00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,320 -So, why isn't Higgins there this year? 177 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,540 -He was supposed to, but he had to cancel last minute. 178 00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:52,977 He just got an unlimited run in Vegas. 179 00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:55,371 -A cable dating show host who does horrible impressions 180 00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:57,155 got an unlimited run in Vegas? 181 00:06:57,242 --> 00:06:58,722 -What do you want, dude, it's Vegas. 182 00:06:58,809 --> 00:06:59,897 Anyway, it's actually a good thing 183 00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:01,421 'cause I just talked to him 184 00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:03,335 and he said we can crash in his room tonight. 185 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,555 -Dude, I'd really rather not. -Come on, we got a late start. 186 00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:07,035 We gotta stop somewhere. 187 00:07:07,122 --> 00:07:09,037 It'll save us some money. 188 00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:11,561 -Just drive as far as we can, and we'll sleep at a rest area. 189 00:07:11,648 --> 00:07:13,955 -Why don't we sleep in a bathhouse with our mouths open? 190 00:07:14,042 --> 00:07:17,306 No thanks, Keegan. -Fine, We'll stay with Higgins. 191 00:07:17,393 --> 00:07:19,439 -You know, when I first started, 192 00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:21,571 we all thought that you were the guy 193 00:07:21,658 --> 00:07:23,791 that was going to have his own sitcom in no time. 194 00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:25,662 You know? 195 00:07:25,749 --> 00:07:28,056 I swear, to this day, none of us can figure it out. 196 00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:29,884 -How often do you guys talk about it? 197 00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:31,320 -Not that often. 198 00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:35,455 A couple times a week. -Shit, man! 199 00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:39,110 -You could still get your own show. 200 00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:42,287 -Nah, not unless I get some crazy hook. 201 00:07:42,374 --> 00:07:44,942 -You really need to start enjoying this shit again. 202 00:07:45,029 --> 00:07:47,423 You know, I mean, you need to 203 00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:49,947 recapture the enthusiasm that you had when we started. 204 00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:51,906 -How am I supposed to do that? 205 00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:53,821 -I don't know. 206 00:07:53,908 --> 00:07:55,736 Maybe you could pull your head out of your ass. 207 00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:59,087 ♪["Wild World" by the BoDeans]♪ 208 00:07:59,174 --> 00:08:00,958 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 209 00:08:01,045 --> 00:08:02,743 ♪ It's a wild world ♪ 210 00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:04,745 ♪ People change their plans ♪ 211 00:08:04,832 --> 00:08:06,921 ♪ Every day ♪ 212 00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:11,360 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah... ♪ 213 00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:14,450 ♪ ♪ 214 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:28,420 [knocks on door] 215 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,987 -I don't hear anything. 216 00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:31,206 [knocks] 217 00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:32,947 -Hey, Higgs! 218 00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:34,775 -Hey, what's up, faggots? -Sorry we're late, man. 219 00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:37,255 -Yeah, I waited as long as I could, and when you didn't show, 220 00:08:37,342 --> 00:08:38,866 I decided to throw one into Tonya. 221 00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:41,346 We just hit the sheets, so, uh, 222 00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:43,827 I'm gonna need a couple of minutes, all right? 223 00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:45,786 So, uh, why don't you guys hit the buffet, or something? 224 00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:50,138 -Great. -Yeah, all right, well... 225 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,010 -How's the nose, Keegan? 226 00:08:53,097 --> 00:08:54,359 -It's fine. 227 00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:56,231 I could smell you from the lobby. 228 00:08:57,624 --> 00:08:59,408 -Hey, I'm just fucking with ya! Huh? 229 00:08:59,495 --> 00:09:00,975 Come on, have a good time. 230 00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:02,193 Go down, hit the buffet or something. 231 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:04,239 Come back in a few, all right? 232 00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:08,983 -Why aren't we eating at the buffet? 233 00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:10,593 -It's a matter of principle. 234 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,334 You know what kind of people eat at buffets? 235 00:09:12,421 --> 00:09:13,988 -I know what kind of people should. 236 00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:16,556 ♪ ♪ 237 00:09:20,951 --> 00:09:22,736 -Hey, Chicago elite. 238 00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:28,437 -So, what's this all-- -Take it out. 239 00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:35,618 [retainer clicks in case] Aw, Jesus Christ! 240 00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:40,667 -Lou, please tell me I'm going home. 241 00:09:40,754 --> 00:09:42,190 -Close to home. 242 00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:44,148 I need you to go to Wisconsin. 243 00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:46,194 -For what? 244 00:09:46,281 --> 00:09:47,674 -A real pain in the ass. 245 00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:50,111 The guy's giving me an ulcer. 246 00:09:50,198 --> 00:09:54,071 He's about to have a hell of a surprise. 247 00:09:54,158 --> 00:09:55,856 -Who is this guy? 248 00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:58,206 -He's a snake we put in business up there in Green Bay, 249 00:09:58,293 --> 00:09:59,860 and now he's skimming money from us. 250 00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:01,644 It's gonna be tough getting to him 251 00:10:01,731 --> 00:10:04,168 'cause he's surrounded by his num-nut henchmen 24/7. 252 00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:07,694 He calls himself "the Godfather of Green Bay." 253 00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:10,218 [laughs] Yeah. -Done. 254 00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:13,700 I tell ya, I can't wait to get out on the open road. 255 00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:15,832 I just got a new SUV. 256 00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,879 -Should we get some snapper before we hit the rack? 257 00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:20,228 -No way. I'm crashing. 258 00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:21,708 And so are you. 259 00:10:21,795 --> 00:10:23,013 I'm not hanging out with Higgins by myself. 260 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,188 -Come on, man. 261 00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:25,842 These girls are ready to play. 262 00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:27,757 You don't go out wearing a top like that 263 00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:30,630 and not want it to be on the floor at the end of the night. 264 00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:31,848 Come on, man, I need this. 265 00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:33,241 You can even have the hottie. 266 00:10:33,328 --> 00:10:35,025 -Nah, she looks like a vegetarian. 267 00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:37,288 -You're unbelievable, you know? 268 00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:39,073 When's the last time you saw a naked woman? 269 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,465 -All right, let's go. 270 00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:42,076 I'm sure Higgins was done a long time ago. 271 00:10:42,163 --> 00:10:44,121 -All right. 272 00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:46,210 If we're not going to get laid, can we at least dine and dash? 273 00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:47,951 You gotta give me that. 274 00:10:48,038 --> 00:10:50,258 Just pull the car around and put your ass in shotgun. 275 00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:58,135 ♪ ♪ 276 00:11:05,099 --> 00:11:11,018 [bathroom door squeaks open] 277 00:11:11,105 --> 00:11:12,323 -Hey, how you doing? 278 00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:13,847 -Good. -Good. 279 00:11:35,129 --> 00:11:38,045 [laughs devilishly] 280 00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:39,481 [tires screech] 281 00:11:39,568 --> 00:11:41,265 -Agh! 282 00:11:41,352 --> 00:11:44,355 -Jesus! Shit, what do we do?! 283 00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:47,184 -See if he's okay! 284 00:11:47,271 --> 00:11:49,273 -What about the check? -Ugh...! 285 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,406 Fuck! 286 00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:54,148 [car horn] 287 00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:55,410 -Hey! 288 00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:57,760 -What the hell? [gunshot] 289 00:11:58,979 --> 00:12:03,244 -Oh, shit, he's shooting at us. -C'mon! 290 00:12:03,331 --> 00:12:05,289 Shit, shit! -C'mon, c'mon, go! 291 00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:10,381 [tires squeal] [engine revs] 292 00:12:10,468 --> 00:12:13,471 -Go! Shit, go! 293 00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:15,604 [gunshots] 294 00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:20,130 [panting, breathing quickly] 295 00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:22,132 -Will ya stop worrying? 296 00:12:22,219 --> 00:12:24,178 -Yeah, you're right, why worry?! 297 00:12:24,265 --> 00:12:26,833 If he dies, we'd be tried for murder. 298 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:28,008 -He's not gonna die. 299 00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:29,444 It's a Geo. 300 00:12:29,531 --> 00:12:31,185 It probably gave him tennis elbow. 301 00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:32,403 Besides, we tried to help him, 302 00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,623 and he shot at us. 303 00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:37,234 -Let's just get our bags and get the hell out of here. 304 00:12:37,321 --> 00:12:39,062 [knocks on door] 305 00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:43,066 -Hi, guys. -Hi, Tonya. 306 00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:44,676 Is Higgins asleep? 307 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,374 -You can call it that. 308 00:12:46,461 --> 00:12:53,468 ♪ [suspenseful music] ♪ 309 00:12:58,125 --> 00:12:59,822 ♪ [blaring rock and roll] ♪ 310 00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:01,476 ♪ ["Anything Is Easy" by the BoDeans] ♪ 311 00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:07,090 ♪ Doo doo doo doo do ♪ 312 00:13:07,177 --> 00:13:08,962 ♪ Small house, sermonizing ♪ 313 00:13:09,049 --> 00:13:11,399 ♪ Baby, baby, it don't feel right ♪ 314 00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:13,183 ♪ And sometimes we all feel alone ♪ 315 00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:15,707 ♪ I get dark inside and nobody's home ♪ 316 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,361 ♪ I'm thirsty, bring on the juice ♪ 317 00:13:17,448 --> 00:13:19,146 ♪ When it's 4 am and you need a friend ♪ 318 00:13:19,233 --> 00:13:20,582 ♪ When you call me up baby ♪ 319 00:13:20,669 --> 00:13:22,540 ♪ When you call me up long ♪ 320 00:13:22,627 --> 00:13:24,151 ♪ And I bring it to you like a pretty little song ♪ 321 00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:25,717 ♪ You just do what you wanna do ♪ 322 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,242 ♪ Be your -- and I love you ♪ 323 00:13:28,329 --> 00:13:30,113 ♪ You just see what you wanna see ♪ 324 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,333 ♪ Everything's easy ♪ 325 00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:34,552 ♪ You just say what you want to say ♪ 326 00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:36,772 ♪ Speak the truth every day ♪ 327 00:13:36,859 --> 00:13:38,774 ♪ You just be what you wanna be ♪ 328 00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:41,255 ♪ Everything's easy ♪ 329 00:13:41,342 --> 00:13:45,650 [loud music continues] ♪ Na, na, na, na ♪ 330 00:13:45,737 --> 00:13:49,611 ♪ Na, na, na, na oh, baby, yeah ♪ 331 00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:51,961 [Kenny coughs and sputters] 332 00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:54,268 ♪ Na, na, na, na Na, na, na... ♪ 333 00:13:54,355 --> 00:13:55,922 [Mike Toomey comedy show on radio, Kenny snoring] 334 00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:57,488 -I took my mother to a cockfight. [laugh track] 335 00:13:57,575 --> 00:13:59,055 -You took your mother to a cockfight?! 336 00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:00,491 -Certainly! She loves them! 337 00:14:00,578 --> 00:14:03,494 -Eeeeeeyyy!! 338 00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:05,496 -She bets on the biggest cock. [Kenny snores] 339 00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,324 -The biggest cock? [canned laughter] 340 00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:09,065 -Sometimes she brings her own cock. 341 00:14:09,152 --> 00:14:10,806 -You're trying to tell me that your mother has a cock? 342 00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,634 -Absolutely! [snoring in snorts] 343 00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:13,722 It's the biggest cock I've ever seen! [canned laughter] 344 00:14:13,809 --> 00:14:16,725 [snorts, smack] 345 00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:18,466 [nasal snoring resumes] 346 00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:20,947 -OKAY, okay, I happen to know your car is in the shop. 347 00:14:21,034 --> 00:14:23,079 -And what of it? [high-pitched fluttering snore] 348 00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:25,777 ♪ [jazz lounge music] ♪ 349 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,911 -[Jake] So, where were we? 350 00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:32,262 -Uh, deer huntin'? 351 00:14:32,349 --> 00:14:34,047 [sighs dramatically] 352 00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:36,310 -There's just nothing like it. 353 00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:39,269 Seeing the sun come up, 354 00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:40,967 with snow on the ground, 355 00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:42,533 smell the pine. 356 00:14:42,620 --> 00:14:44,579 It's fucking beautiful. 357 00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:47,538 Finally, when you see it, 358 00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:50,672 there's rustling, you know? 359 00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:54,284 And you hear a twig snap! [snaps fingers] 360 00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:56,678 You start to get that rush, 361 00:14:56,765 --> 00:14:58,332 that feeling inside that says, 362 00:14:58,419 --> 00:15:01,813 "This little shit is mine!" 363 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:07,471 You've got him in your sights. 364 00:15:07,558 --> 00:15:09,473 BAM! [woman gasps] 365 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:10,735 Buck shot! 366 00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:13,782 Put that sucker DOWN! 367 00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:15,523 Then you do the three T's. 368 00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:18,700 Tag him, take him home, 369 00:15:18,787 --> 00:15:21,181 and you cook that sucker. 370 00:15:21,268 --> 00:15:23,313 You're not one of them vegans, are ya? 371 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,141 -Oh, um, no. 372 00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:27,796 No, I'll eat just about anything. 373 00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:32,888 -Sweet. 374 00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:34,759 -Hi, Jake. 375 00:15:34,846 --> 00:15:35,935 -Hey, dere. 376 00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:37,284 [sighs heavily] 377 00:15:37,371 --> 00:15:38,546 -You know everyone in this town? 378 00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:41,592 -Oh, yeah, grew up here. 379 00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,594 I was the best football player 380 00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:46,206 in all of goddamn northeastern Wisconsin 381 00:15:46,293 --> 00:15:48,034 till I blew out my knee. 382 00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:49,949 -Glory days. [sighs] 383 00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:55,737 -Yeah. 384 00:15:57,043 --> 00:16:00,133 Well, you can't grow up in a town 15 minutes from Green Bay 385 00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:03,571 and not want to play for the Packers, you know? 386 00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:06,574 Big game this weekend. -Yeah. 387 00:16:06,661 --> 00:16:08,532 -You're not a Bears fan, are ya? 388 00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:12,188 -Well, I grew up in Chicago, 389 00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:15,496 then I blew out my knee. [chuckles nervously] 390 00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:20,762 -Yeah. 391 00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:24,200 You know, I gotta be honest with you. 392 00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:26,202 I used to hate... 393 00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:27,812 Chicago people, 394 00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:30,990 You know, always coming up here on vacation, 395 00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:32,556 walking around like you own the place. 396 00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:34,123 -Sorry. 397 00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:35,733 -Looking down your fucking noses at us. 398 00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:38,388 -Um... [laughs nervously] 399 00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:40,608 You're not gonna fight me, are ya? 400 00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:42,566 [chuckles quietly] 401 00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,177 [Molly gasps] 402 00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:47,093 [laughs nervously] 403 00:16:48,703 --> 00:16:51,401 -To the Packers. -Yes. 404 00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:56,102 [semi rambles past] 405 00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:58,843 -What are you looking under the hood for? 406 00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:01,063 We're out of gas. The gauge must be broke. 407 00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:03,979 -Piece of shit! [cow moos] 408 00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:06,242 We've got to be ten miles from the closest town. 409 00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:10,464 What about that farm house there? 410 00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:12,161 -What about it? 411 00:17:12,248 --> 00:17:13,989 Do you think they gonna have gas in their house? 412 00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:15,817 -Probably not, 413 00:17:15,904 --> 00:17:17,471 but maybe he'd give you a lift to the gas station. 414 00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:19,473 -He who, Joe? Do you know where we are? 415 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,214 Whoever is in that house 416 00:17:21,301 --> 00:17:22,780 is probably making a lampshade out of human flesh. 417 00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:25,087 Let's get this over with. -Where you goin'? 418 00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:28,090 -I'm gonna to hop the fence. Quickest way. 419 00:17:28,177 --> 00:17:30,092 -What about all those cows? [cows mooing] 420 00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:32,051 -What about them? [cows mooing] Cows are very passive animals. 421 00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:34,183 -How do you know about cows? [cowbell ringing] 422 00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:36,664 -I read it. Dude, I am one with nature. 423 00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:40,146 [electrical buzzing] Ahh! 424 00:17:40,233 --> 00:17:41,495 Jesus! 425 00:17:41,582 --> 00:17:43,105 -Are you okay? 426 00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:46,369 [cows mooing] 427 00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:53,420 ♪ [twangy country-rock song] ♪ 428 00:17:56,249 --> 00:17:58,512 [mare whinnies, squeals loudly] 429 00:17:58,599 --> 00:18:02,429 [stallion nickers, grunts, whinnies] 430 00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:04,605 -Uh... excuse me? [stallion nickers contentedly] 431 00:18:04,692 --> 00:18:07,738 [imitating a cow mooing] 432 00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:11,525 [birds chirping] 433 00:18:11,612 --> 00:18:13,614 -Fuck you, cows. 434 00:18:13,701 --> 00:18:17,400 [playful synthesizer music] 435 00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:27,845 -No fucking way! 436 00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:32,546 [revolver clicks] 437 00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:35,549 [tires squeal] 438 00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:38,552 [gunning engine] 439 00:18:38,639 --> 00:18:40,554 [siren wails] 440 00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,686 You gotta be kidding me! 441 00:18:42,773 --> 00:18:45,994 [siren continues] 442 00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:59,138 [police radio chatter] 443 00:19:02,793 --> 00:19:04,491 -Morning. -Morning. 444 00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:06,101 -Did you get gas...? 445 00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:08,756 -You drinking this morning, sir? -No, sir. 446 00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:10,584 -Well, you made an unauthorized turn back there, 447 00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:11,933 and you're swerving all over the place. 448 00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:13,326 -Right. 449 00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:15,023 I was just on my way back up here 450 00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:17,852 to help these guys with car trouble. 451 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,290 [doors close, ignition starts] 452 00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:23,379 -You want to step out of the car, please? 453 00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:27,383 [gun clatters onto pavement] 454 00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:28,776 -Don't move! 455 00:19:28,863 --> 00:19:30,430 Get up against the car! Right now! 456 00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:32,475 UP AGAINST THE CAR! 457 00:19:37,872 --> 00:19:40,483 ♪ [upbeat acoustic music] ♪ 458 00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:43,051 -No, I'm telling you, you can't do that bit. 459 00:19:43,138 --> 00:19:45,227 You can't do any bit where you mention you're from Chicago. 460 00:19:45,314 --> 00:19:46,620 They'll hate you. 461 00:19:46,707 --> 00:19:48,099 The Bears play the Packers this weekend 462 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,058 and they'll be in a lather! 463 00:19:50,145 --> 00:19:53,235 Trust me, these people eat, breathe, sleep Packer football. 464 00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:56,020 ♪ ♪ 465 00:19:59,589 --> 00:20:02,157 -Should I do Porno Puppets for Skorik? 466 00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:03,680 -I wouldn't. 467 00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:05,595 -What about "Paging Dr. Cockerson"? 468 00:20:05,682 --> 00:20:06,944 -Man, it's The Tonight Show. 469 00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:08,381 They'll never let you have 470 00:20:08,468 --> 00:20:09,425 a huge dildo on network television. 471 00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:10,470 -Yeah, alright, cool beans. 472 00:20:13,473 --> 00:20:15,605 -Hey, how come you didn't bring the unicycle? 473 00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:17,781 -Ah, fuck the unicycle. 474 00:20:17,868 --> 00:20:19,392 I pedal around, juggle fire, 475 00:20:19,479 --> 00:20:20,958 and sweat my balls off for five minutes, 476 00:20:21,045 --> 00:20:22,308 and barely get a chuckle. 477 00:20:24,005 --> 00:20:25,963 Maybe I should've brought it. 478 00:20:50,510 --> 00:20:52,642 -Hey. 479 00:20:52,729 --> 00:20:53,948 -Hi. 480 00:20:55,471 --> 00:20:58,082 -Hello, dere. 481 00:20:58,169 --> 00:21:01,477 -No, this year I'm in charge of the potato sack races. 482 00:21:01,564 --> 00:21:03,174 [chuckles] 483 00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:04,741 Yeah, apparently, I'm not suited to do the egg toss. 484 00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:06,265 [door closes] Okay. 485 00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:08,049 All right, I'll see you tomorrow, bye. 486 00:21:08,136 --> 00:21:09,224 [hangs up receiver] 487 00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:12,140 [speaks to self inaudibly] 488 00:21:12,227 --> 00:21:14,185 Oh, hey! 489 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,709 Let me guess. 490 00:21:15,796 --> 00:21:16,884 The comics. 491 00:21:16,971 --> 00:21:19,060 -Oh, is it that obvious? 492 00:21:19,147 --> 00:21:21,758 [Kenny laughs, clerk inhales audibly] 493 00:21:21,845 --> 00:21:24,065 I'm gonna need a smokin' room, sweets. 494 00:21:24,152 --> 00:21:26,415 -Okay, let me see. -And by the way, 495 00:21:26,502 --> 00:21:29,636 you are welcome to come visit any time this weekend. 496 00:21:29,723 --> 00:21:30,898 It'll be our little secret. 497 00:21:30,985 --> 00:21:33,596 I won't tell your boss. -Really? 498 00:21:33,683 --> 00:21:35,903 Well, that's a very tempting offer. 499 00:21:35,990 --> 00:21:37,905 Can I have a couple days to think about it? 500 00:21:37,992 --> 00:21:39,515 -Well, don't take too long 501 00:21:39,602 --> 00:21:40,864 because we're gonna be out of here in just-- 502 00:21:40,951 --> 00:21:42,910 Oh, I get it. 503 00:21:42,997 --> 00:21:44,433 We're only gonna be here a couple days. 504 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:45,826 She's good, Joe. 505 00:21:45,913 --> 00:21:48,089 -And for the record, I am the boss. 506 00:21:48,176 --> 00:21:50,091 Here, why don't you sign right here? 507 00:21:50,178 --> 00:21:53,747 -I'm Joe Keegan. -Hi. 508 00:21:56,227 --> 00:21:58,665 -Joe Keegan? -You remember me? 509 00:21:58,752 --> 00:22:00,928 -Oh, my gosh, yes! Of course, I do. 510 00:22:01,015 --> 00:22:02,321 Shurz High School, Chicago. 511 00:22:02,408 --> 00:22:03,757 That was my first year of teaching. 512 00:22:03,844 --> 00:22:05,236 -Right. 513 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:06,977 -Get out of here, you guys know each other? 514 00:22:07,064 --> 00:22:09,415 -She was my English teacher senior year. 515 00:22:09,502 --> 00:22:11,634 There are four kinds of people in the world: 516 00:22:11,721 --> 00:22:13,941 Those who are written about, those who write, 517 00:22:14,028 --> 00:22:15,551 and those who read. 518 00:22:15,638 --> 00:22:17,336 Make sure you're part of one of these groups 519 00:22:17,423 --> 00:22:19,773 because everybody else is just going through the motions. 520 00:22:19,860 --> 00:22:24,647 -Wow, I didn't think anyone was listening. 521 00:22:24,734 --> 00:22:26,954 -I'm Kenny Caruso, the headliner. 522 00:22:27,041 --> 00:22:29,478 -Hey. 523 00:22:29,565 --> 00:22:32,786 [speaking breathily] Wow, Joe Keegan. 524 00:22:32,873 --> 00:22:34,962 -It's so good to see you. -You, too. 525 00:22:35,049 --> 00:22:36,442 -That is great. 526 00:22:43,710 --> 00:22:45,364 -You, in the blue, Let's go. 527 00:22:50,891 --> 00:22:52,849 -Gentlemen... 528 00:22:52,936 --> 00:22:54,895 Keep in touch. 529 00:22:57,637 --> 00:22:59,160 [police radio chatter in background] 530 00:22:59,247 --> 00:23:02,468 Don't be afraid to do some real police work. 531 00:23:02,555 --> 00:23:05,775 Fellas, how are ya? 532 00:23:05,862 --> 00:23:07,560 Lou, I talked to the farmer, 533 00:23:07,647 --> 00:23:09,257 and he said those two guys are going to Wisconsin. 534 00:23:09,344 --> 00:23:10,954 What the fuck is going on here? 535 00:23:11,041 --> 00:23:12,739 -Forget about it! 536 00:23:12,826 --> 00:23:14,567 You don't even know it's the same car that ran ya down. 537 00:23:14,654 --> 00:23:15,785 Did you get a plate number? 538 00:23:15,872 --> 00:23:17,396 -Plate number?!? 539 00:23:17,483 --> 00:23:18,745 Lou, the car had bullet holes in it! 540 00:23:18,832 --> 00:23:19,920 It's the same Geo. 541 00:23:20,007 --> 00:23:21,574 -Fuck the Geo! 542 00:23:21,661 --> 00:23:23,489 And fuck the farmer! 543 00:23:23,576 --> 00:23:25,186 Look, I don't even know what the hell you're talking about. 544 00:23:25,273 --> 00:23:28,319 Will you just get your ass to Wisconsin? 545 00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:29,756 [horse whinnies] 546 00:23:33,803 --> 00:23:36,893 [spraying] 547 00:23:41,332 --> 00:23:43,030 -Hey, balls. 548 00:23:43,117 --> 00:23:45,424 -So, we drive all the way across the country to be here, 549 00:23:45,511 --> 00:23:47,121 and he can't give us our own rooms? 550 00:23:47,208 --> 00:23:48,862 You said you had your own room last time you were here. 551 00:23:48,949 --> 00:23:52,039 -It's Rocktoberfest. 552 00:23:52,126 --> 00:23:53,519 Look, don't worry. 553 00:23:53,606 --> 00:23:54,868 By the end of the week, 554 00:23:54,955 --> 00:23:57,871 I'll be crashing at your teacher's place. 555 00:23:57,958 --> 00:23:59,307 -She is gorgeous, isn't she? 556 00:23:59,394 --> 00:24:02,049 -Dude, total blow job lips. 557 00:24:02,136 --> 00:24:04,791 The teachers in my school had pantsuits and big knuckles. 558 00:24:04,878 --> 00:24:07,576 -I just went to invite her to a show, but she wasn't there. 559 00:24:07,663 --> 00:24:09,099 -Well, you know what? 560 00:24:09,186 --> 00:24:10,623 Maybe she decided that 561 00:24:10,710 --> 00:24:12,407 after teaching you English 15 years ago, 562 00:24:12,494 --> 00:24:14,365 it was time for her to start seeing other people. 563 00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:15,976 -That's funny. 564 00:24:16,063 --> 00:24:17,107 ♪ [loud music] ♪ 565 00:24:17,194 --> 00:24:18,587 [all cheering] 566 00:24:18,674 --> 00:24:25,638 -Whoo! 567 00:24:27,161 --> 00:24:28,858 -Hey, baby! -Jakes! 568 00:24:28,945 --> 00:24:30,556 We gonna kick some Chicago ass this weekend? 569 00:24:30,643 --> 00:24:32,601 -Oh, hey, you know, we definitely gonna try, man 570 00:24:32,688 --> 00:24:34,429 You lookin' good. How's it hanging? 571 00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:36,039 -Long, loose, and full of juice, baby. [Packer laughs] 572 00:24:36,126 --> 00:24:38,912 -I'll see you Sunday. -Sunday, all right, man. 573 00:24:38,999 --> 00:24:41,001 -Get the fuck out of my seat! 574 00:24:41,088 --> 00:24:42,350 [sighs] 575 00:24:42,437 --> 00:24:43,786 -Listen, I really want to-- 576 00:24:43,873 --> 00:24:45,005 -He's a Packer. 577 00:24:45,092 --> 00:24:46,528 I'm tight with most of 'em. 578 00:24:46,615 --> 00:24:47,921 You know, I still got an extra ticket 579 00:24:48,008 --> 00:24:49,705 if you want to go to the game on Sunday. 580 00:24:49,792 --> 00:24:51,054 -No, thank you. 581 00:24:51,141 --> 00:24:53,535 -I wish you coulda seen me play. 582 00:24:53,622 --> 00:24:57,147 I was the best in all of Northeastern Wisconsin. 583 00:24:57,234 --> 00:24:58,932 -I heard. 584 00:24:59,019 --> 00:25:01,412 -[yelling] Are we gonna kick some Chicago ass?!? 585 00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:03,458 -Bears suck! Bears suck! 586 00:25:03,545 --> 00:25:05,634 Bears suck!! Bears suck!! 587 00:25:05,721 --> 00:25:07,767 Bears suck! Bears suck! 588 00:25:07,854 --> 00:25:09,856 Bears suck!!! Bears suck!!! 589 00:25:09,943 --> 00:25:12,815 Bears suck! Bears suck! 590 00:25:12,902 --> 00:25:15,122 -Here we are. Connections. 591 00:25:15,209 --> 00:25:16,776 Look at those threads. 592 00:25:16,863 --> 00:25:18,386 Ken, you didn't tell me they had a dress code. 593 00:25:18,473 --> 00:25:19,648 -Relax. 594 00:25:24,131 --> 00:25:28,048 [bells on door ring] 595 00:25:28,135 --> 00:25:30,137 [snoring] 596 00:25:30,224 --> 00:25:31,399 [door slams shut] 597 00:25:33,706 --> 00:25:35,229 Ready? 598 00:25:35,316 --> 00:25:37,405 ♪ ♪ 599 00:25:44,717 --> 00:25:46,980 -You ever see two horses have sex? 600 00:25:47,067 --> 00:25:48,459 -Yeah. -[Jeremy] Hey, guys. 601 00:25:48,547 --> 00:25:50,026 Hey, I remember you! 602 00:25:50,113 --> 00:25:52,115 -Hey, Jeremy, right? -Right, how's Higgins? 603 00:25:52,202 --> 00:25:54,291 -He's doing great, man, partying hard. 604 00:25:54,378 --> 00:25:55,858 He said to say 'hi.' 605 00:25:55,945 --> 00:25:57,817 -That guy's out of bounds, dude. [Kenny chuckles] 606 00:25:57,904 --> 00:25:59,427 Ralphy's in the office. 607 00:25:59,514 --> 00:26:01,255 I'll tell him you guys are here. 608 00:26:02,299 --> 00:26:03,431 -Hey, what's up? I'm DUG. 609 00:26:03,518 --> 00:26:04,998 I'm the emcee. 610 00:26:05,085 --> 00:26:06,608 It's spelled D-U-G. Gotta have a hook, right? 611 00:26:06,695 --> 00:26:08,305 -Joe Keegan. -How long you guys been at this? 612 00:26:08,392 --> 00:26:09,785 -Ten years. 613 00:26:09,872 --> 00:26:10,960 -Fifteen. 614 00:26:11,047 --> 00:26:13,702 [incredulous laugh] -Oh, man! 615 00:26:13,789 --> 00:26:15,748 I hope it doesn't take me that long. 616 00:26:15,835 --> 00:26:18,272 Oh, man, look at all these fucking rednecks, huh? 617 00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:19,926 I could never live in a small town, man! 618 00:26:20,013 --> 00:26:22,232 -Where do you live? -Green Bay. 619 00:26:22,319 --> 00:26:23,451 How about you guys? 620 00:26:23,538 --> 00:26:24,887 -L.A. now, originally Chicago. 621 00:26:24,974 --> 00:26:26,062 -[yelling] Boo!!! 622 00:26:26,149 --> 00:26:28,151 Bears suck! Bears suck! 623 00:26:28,238 --> 00:26:29,500 The Bears are gonna die on Sunday. 624 00:26:29,588 --> 00:26:31,459 The Pack's taking 'em down! 625 00:26:31,546 --> 00:26:33,940 -[normal tone] Nice shirt, man. -Thanks, man. 626 00:26:34,027 --> 00:26:35,115 -Oh, man, wow. 627 00:26:35,202 --> 00:26:37,073 That's nice. 628 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:38,640 I'd love to have a shirt like that when I take the stage. 629 00:26:38,727 --> 00:26:40,294 -Heck, you know, keep writing. 630 00:26:40,381 --> 00:26:41,861 -You guys get laid a lot? 631 00:26:41,948 --> 00:26:43,689 One time, I'm in this club, 632 00:26:43,776 --> 00:26:45,952 I got laid. 633 00:26:46,039 --> 00:26:48,084 I wasn't even in the show. [laughs] 634 00:26:48,171 --> 00:26:49,738 How sweet is that? 635 00:26:49,825 --> 00:26:51,000 -D-U-G, what's up? 636 00:26:51,087 --> 00:26:52,741 -You party later? -You know it. 637 00:26:52,828 --> 00:26:54,351 -How's your old lady? -Pfft! Oh, man, history bro. 638 00:26:54,438 --> 00:26:56,092 I told her, comedy's in my blood. 639 00:26:56,179 --> 00:26:57,441 I gotta get out there. I gotta be doing it, right? 640 00:26:57,528 --> 00:26:59,095 Sure, I'm not going to be home as much, 641 00:26:59,182 --> 00:27:00,793 but I'm going to be a better father and husband 642 00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:02,577 when I am home because I'm gonna be happy, right? 643 00:27:02,664 --> 00:27:04,144 She's [snaps fingers]. You know, chicks. 644 00:27:04,231 --> 00:27:05,580 -We might hit a titty bar later. 645 00:27:05,667 --> 00:27:07,277 You guys should come with us. 646 00:27:07,364 --> 00:27:09,497 -Hey, check it out, check it out, check it out. 647 00:27:09,584 --> 00:27:13,109 Take this. 648 00:27:13,196 --> 00:27:14,284 It's a known fact. 649 00:27:14,371 --> 00:27:15,677 Boom. 650 00:27:15,764 --> 00:27:16,722 Strippers think you've got cocaine. 651 00:27:16,809 --> 00:27:18,724 -No. -Yeah. 652 00:27:18,811 --> 00:27:20,421 -Cool. -Cool, very cool. 653 00:27:20,508 --> 00:27:22,205 -I've gotta drain the main vein, see ya. 654 00:27:22,292 --> 00:27:23,990 -'Kay. 655 00:27:24,077 --> 00:27:25,731 -He just started doing comedy like six months ago. 656 00:27:25,818 --> 00:27:28,168 That dude kicks ass. 657 00:27:28,255 --> 00:27:31,084 -[Ralphy] Kenny Caruso! -Hey! 658 00:27:31,171 --> 00:27:32,389 -How's she goin' there, Ken-bo? 659 00:27:32,476 --> 00:27:34,087 -Ralphy, how ya doin'? 660 00:27:34,174 --> 00:27:36,176 Hey, have you lost weight? -Yeah, about 100 pounds. 661 00:27:36,263 --> 00:27:37,307 Never felt better. 662 00:27:37,394 --> 00:27:38,526 Good to see ya, buddy. 663 00:27:38,613 --> 00:27:39,919 -Yeah, good to see you, too. 664 00:27:40,006 --> 00:27:40,833 This is my good friend, Joe Keegan. 665 00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:42,008 -How's she goin', there? 666 00:27:42,095 --> 00:27:43,183 I've heard good things about ya. 667 00:27:43,270 --> 00:27:44,575 -It's nice to meet you, Ralph. 668 00:27:44,663 --> 00:27:45,751 -Hey, a smaller crowd tonight. 669 00:27:45,838 --> 00:27:47,709 But wait till the weekend. 670 00:27:47,796 --> 00:27:49,711 Rocktoberfest is when all the great looking clam comes out. 671 00:27:49,798 --> 00:27:51,104 Hey, there he is! 672 00:27:51,191 --> 00:27:52,279 Puke last night? 673 00:27:52,366 --> 00:27:53,672 -Ha-ha, nope, held 'er down. 674 00:27:53,759 --> 00:27:55,630 -Hey, Rat. -Hey, dere, Ken! 675 00:27:55,717 --> 00:27:57,023 Ah! 676 00:27:57,110 --> 00:27:58,894 -Hello, dere! -Hey. 677 00:27:58,981 --> 00:28:01,331 -Haw, haw, aw, caw! 678 00:28:01,418 --> 00:28:02,681 Ha, ha! 679 00:28:02,768 --> 00:28:04,595 -Make it out this morning? -No, no. 680 00:28:04,683 --> 00:28:06,206 Christ, get this. 681 00:28:06,293 --> 00:28:08,295 Skeeter calls about like five-to-six, 682 00:28:08,382 --> 00:28:10,601 says he's hitting the woods to bag a big one, 683 00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:12,342 "Where the hell are ya?" 684 00:28:12,429 --> 00:28:13,779 I says, "Christ, we're drinking till like 3:00 am, 685 00:28:13,866 --> 00:28:15,650 you're still going out?" 686 00:28:15,737 --> 00:28:18,435 He's like, "You're goddamn right, you pop-jag." [laughs] 687 00:28:18,522 --> 00:28:20,002 I says, "I'm still half in the bag." 688 00:28:20,089 --> 00:28:21,830 -You ain't been out once this year yet, then? 689 00:28:21,917 --> 00:28:23,527 -No, I shoulda just-- I shoulda just went with them, 690 00:28:23,614 --> 00:28:25,442 'cause, uh, I couldn't get back to bed. 691 00:28:25,529 --> 00:28:27,706 You know, I mean, just threw a stiff one in the old lady-- 692 00:28:27,793 --> 00:28:29,142 Oh! Ha-ha! [Ralphy laughs loudly] 693 00:28:29,229 --> 00:28:31,753 Then I went over to Bart Starr's restaurant 694 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:33,668 down dere in Green Bay. 695 00:28:33,755 --> 00:28:36,149 Oh, Christ, I mean, you guys can keep "your big city traffic," 696 00:28:36,236 --> 00:28:37,977 but holy balls, do they put out a spread. 697 00:28:38,064 --> 00:28:40,153 -Did you try that raw beef and onions they have? 698 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:41,807 -Oh, no, but they got a new special. 699 00:28:41,894 --> 00:28:43,243 It's called the Spagh-omelet. 700 00:28:43,330 --> 00:28:44,157 It's like half-spaghetti, half-omelet. 701 00:28:44,244 --> 00:28:45,332 It's awesome. 702 00:28:45,419 --> 00:28:46,463 -Hey, we gotta start 'er up. 703 00:28:46,550 --> 00:28:47,638 Where's your partner? 704 00:28:47,726 --> 00:28:49,945 -Caruso! -Hey! [laughter] 705 00:28:50,032 --> 00:28:52,731 -How are ya? -Skeets, how ya doing? 706 00:28:52,818 --> 00:28:54,645 Nice coat, man. 707 00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:56,473 -Yeah, I'm breakin' her out early this year for T-Zone, man. 708 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:57,561 -T-Zone. 709 00:28:57,648 --> 00:28:59,433 -Wow, T-Zone! 710 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:01,304 [laughter] 711 00:29:01,391 --> 00:29:03,045 -Regular huntin' season don't start until November, 712 00:29:03,132 --> 00:29:05,831 but right now, they got what's called a T-Zone, man. 713 00:29:05,918 --> 00:29:09,008 There's too many of them little fuckers running around out there 714 00:29:09,095 --> 00:29:10,139 so they let us out early. 715 00:29:10,226 --> 00:29:11,750 -Yeah. 716 00:29:11,837 --> 00:29:13,621 -So, how's that fuckshot Higgins doin', man? 717 00:29:13,708 --> 00:29:15,666 -Oh, shit, he's still hungover from last time he was here. 718 00:29:15,754 --> 00:29:17,233 [laughter] 719 00:29:20,628 --> 00:29:22,195 -Hey, you ready, DUG? -10-4 that, chief. 720 00:29:22,282 --> 00:29:23,805 -Let's start 'er up, Skeets. 721 00:29:23,892 --> 00:29:26,677 Gentlemen, Rocktoberfest is officially underway! 722 00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:27,853 [all hooting and hollering] 723 00:29:27,940 --> 00:29:31,900 -Whoo! -Yeah! 724 00:29:31,987 --> 00:29:33,597 -Fuckin' A! 725 00:29:33,684 --> 00:29:35,686 [boisterous yelling] 726 00:29:35,774 --> 00:29:37,079 [high-fives] 727 00:29:38,124 --> 00:29:39,778 [laughter] 728 00:29:39,865 --> 00:29:41,344 -This is the place we're auditioning for Harvey Skorik? 729 00:29:41,431 --> 00:29:42,868 -Are you nuts?!? -See, there you go again. 730 00:29:42,955 --> 00:29:44,478 Will you just relax? 731 00:29:46,959 --> 00:29:48,047 Okay? 732 00:29:48,134 --> 00:29:49,396 Just relax. 733 00:29:49,483 --> 00:29:51,267 It's gonna be fun. 734 00:29:51,354 --> 00:29:55,794 -I know it's only our second date, but I think she's the one. 735 00:29:55,881 --> 00:29:58,057 -She's smokin', Jaker! 736 00:29:58,144 --> 00:30:00,059 -Big Jake needs a wife. 737 00:30:00,146 --> 00:30:03,105 [urinating] 738 00:30:03,192 --> 00:30:05,760 All the great ones have good women behind 'em. 739 00:30:05,847 --> 00:30:07,153 -She's a lucky girl. 740 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,851 -Yah. 741 00:30:09,938 --> 00:30:11,548 You tell Hatchet I wanna be out in the woods 742 00:30:11,635 --> 00:30:12,941 as early as possible. 743 00:30:13,028 --> 00:30:14,725 I'm gonna bag me a big one tomorrow. 744 00:30:14,813 --> 00:30:16,553 -You got it, Jaker. 745 00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:17,772 -I'd like to be banging heads with them fuckin' Bears 746 00:30:17,859 --> 00:30:19,643 on Sunday. 747 00:30:19,730 --> 00:30:21,558 -It's a shame your fuckin' career ended when you were 15. 748 00:30:21,645 --> 00:30:22,864 You fuckin' shoulda been there, Jaker. 749 00:30:22,951 --> 00:30:25,606 [yelling] Fuck! [belches loudly] 750 00:30:25,693 --> 00:30:28,217 Hey, Jake, speaking of Chicago, they gotta be getting pissed. 751 00:30:28,304 --> 00:30:30,567 -'Chicago Lou' said that-- -Fuck 'em! 752 00:30:31,568 --> 00:30:32,961 You listen to me. 753 00:30:33,048 --> 00:30:34,658 I paid my dues to get where I am today. 754 00:30:34,745 --> 00:30:36,443 I ain't paying any more to Chicago. 755 00:30:36,530 --> 00:30:38,358 Them days are fucking over. 756 00:30:38,445 --> 00:30:40,229 -Yeah, I 'spose. 757 00:30:40,316 --> 00:30:42,188 [bangs into paper towel holder] 758 00:30:49,151 --> 00:30:51,501 -Go play my song. 759 00:30:51,588 --> 00:30:53,547 I want her to see me dance. 760 00:30:57,986 --> 00:31:02,904 -So, they making sure you have everything you need? 761 00:31:02,991 --> 00:31:04,645 -Yeah, yeah, everything's fine. 762 00:31:04,732 --> 00:31:08,431 I just, uh... you know, I really should go. 763 00:31:08,518 --> 00:31:10,694 I have to get up early. 764 00:31:10,781 --> 00:31:13,784 -You sure? -Yeah. 765 00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:15,569 -Go, go, go, go! 766 00:31:15,656 --> 00:31:19,878 -We're on an all-night pre-huntin' bash at my place. 767 00:31:19,965 --> 00:31:21,749 We're even gonna play some of my high school tapes. 768 00:31:21,836 --> 00:31:23,533 -Oh. [laughs tentatively] 769 00:31:23,620 --> 00:31:26,449 That sounds like a great time, but I've really gotta go. 770 00:31:26,536 --> 00:31:27,624 -Yah? -Yah-- 771 00:31:27,711 --> 00:31:30,758 I mean, yeah. 772 00:31:30,845 --> 00:31:32,499 -Come on! Come on, man! 773 00:31:32,586 --> 00:31:34,457 [jukebox plays "Macarena"] -I'll see ya later. 774 00:31:34,544 --> 00:31:38,766 -You can't go until you've seen me dance. 775 00:31:38,853 --> 00:31:40,333 [collapses onto booth seat loudly] 776 00:31:40,420 --> 00:31:43,336 ["Macarena" playing loudly] 777 00:31:43,423 --> 00:31:45,425 ♪ Ay-oh, ay oh ♪ ♪ Ahai ahai ♪ 778 00:31:46,861 --> 00:31:48,254 [singer laughing] 779 00:31:50,169 --> 00:31:52,214 [singer laughing] 780 00:31:52,301 --> 00:31:55,217 ♪ Ay-oh, ay oh ♪ 781 00:31:55,304 --> 00:31:56,915 ♪ Aa-iiy ♪ [dancers clap in unison] 782 00:31:57,002 --> 00:31:59,178 ♪ When I dance they call me Macarena ♪ 783 00:31:59,265 --> 00:32:01,267 ♪ And the boys they say que soy buena ♪ 784 00:32:01,354 --> 00:32:03,399 -[ all cheering] Jake! Jake! ♪ They all want me ♪ 785 00:32:03,486 --> 00:32:05,184 ♪ They can't have me ♪ -[crowd] Jake! Jake! Jake...! 786 00:32:05,271 --> 00:32:07,012 ♪ So they all come and dance beside me ♪ 787 00:32:07,099 --> 00:32:08,752 Jake! Jake! Jake...! ♪ Move with me, chant with me ♪ 788 00:32:08,839 --> 00:32:10,667 Jake! Jake! Jake...! ♪ And if you're good ♪ 789 00:32:10,754 --> 00:32:12,452 ♪ I'll take you home with me ♪ Jake! Jake! Jake...! 790 00:32:12,539 --> 00:32:14,454 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 791 00:32:14,541 --> 00:32:16,238 ♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría cosa buena ♪ 792 00:32:16,325 --> 00:32:17,936 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena ♪ 793 00:32:18,023 --> 00:32:19,415 ♪ Hey Macarena ♪ 794 00:32:19,502 --> 00:32:21,200 ♪ Aa-iiy ♪ [dancers clap in unison] 795 00:32:21,287 --> 00:32:23,158 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena♪ 796 00:32:23,245 --> 00:32:24,899 ♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa'darle alegría cosa buena ♪ 797 00:32:24,986 --> 00:32:26,770 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena ♪ 798 00:32:26,857 --> 00:32:28,381 ♪ Hey--♪ 799 00:32:28,468 --> 00:32:29,904 [loud rock music and cheering] -Yah, whoo! 800 00:32:29,991 --> 00:32:32,994 -Ladies and gentlemen, once again... 801 00:32:33,081 --> 00:32:35,866 Rocktoberfest is officially underway! 802 00:32:35,954 --> 00:32:37,346 [cheering] 803 00:32:37,433 --> 00:32:40,219 -Check it out. Check it out. 804 00:32:40,306 --> 00:32:42,482 You gotta get shot to get some head in this bar. 805 00:32:42,569 --> 00:32:44,571 [laughter] 806 00:32:44,658 --> 00:32:46,225 Ooh! 807 00:32:46,312 --> 00:32:48,357 [whistles from crowd] 808 00:32:48,444 --> 00:32:51,839 You guys, are you together? You married? 809 00:32:51,926 --> 00:32:53,319 No offense, but you have beautiful breasts. 810 00:32:53,406 --> 00:32:55,103 [silence] 811 00:32:55,190 --> 00:32:57,062 -And your girlfriend's good looking, too. 812 00:32:57,149 --> 00:32:59,455 -[loud laughter] 813 00:32:59,542 --> 00:33:01,501 Ah, did you guys hear about this? 814 00:33:01,588 --> 00:33:02,937 They did a... 815 00:33:03,024 --> 00:33:05,200 They did a study down there in Chicago, 816 00:33:05,287 --> 00:33:08,508 and they found out that most Bear fans are gay. 817 00:33:08,595 --> 00:33:11,902 -[cough, laughter] -It's true. 818 00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:13,904 I want to go on record. 819 00:33:13,992 --> 00:33:15,515 I don't have anything against the gays, okay? 820 00:33:15,602 --> 00:33:19,823 I hope that every man in this room turns gay. 821 00:33:21,651 --> 00:33:23,914 There'd be more Bears fans. 822 00:33:24,002 --> 00:33:26,395 BUT MORE WOMEN FOR ME! [laughter] 823 00:33:26,482 --> 00:33:27,570 Yeah! 824 00:33:27,657 --> 00:33:29,398 Can D-U-G get an "Amen"? 825 00:33:29,485 --> 00:33:30,921 -Amen! 826 00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:32,923 -Can D-U-G get an "Amen"? -[crowd] Amen. 827 00:33:33,011 --> 00:33:34,751 -All right! 828 00:33:34,838 --> 00:33:37,885 I'm just trying to figure this crazy world out, you know? 829 00:33:37,972 --> 00:33:41,715 Did you see this thing a couple years ago down in Milwaukee? 830 00:33:41,802 --> 00:33:44,457 A guy got his pecker caught... 831 00:33:44,544 --> 00:33:45,632 In a lawnmower. 832 00:33:45,719 --> 00:33:48,983 [laughter] 833 00:33:49,070 --> 00:33:51,464 How in the name of Vince Lombardi 834 00:33:51,551 --> 00:33:54,336 do you get your pisser caught in a lawnmower, 835 00:33:54,423 --> 00:33:57,165 unless you're trying to hump the goddamn thing?! 836 00:33:57,252 --> 00:34:00,821 [laughter] 837 00:34:00,908 --> 00:34:02,301 What's that look like? 838 00:34:02,388 --> 00:34:04,825 Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom! [laughter] 839 00:34:04,912 --> 00:34:06,653 Hey, baby, I see you need some gas... 840 00:34:06,740 --> 00:34:10,265 [laughter and applause] 841 00:34:10,352 --> 00:34:12,006 Oh, yeah. 842 00:34:12,093 --> 00:34:13,834 That's kinda nice. 843 00:34:13,921 --> 00:34:16,141 All right! [laughter] 844 00:34:16,228 --> 00:34:17,490 Uh-oh! 845 00:34:17,577 --> 00:34:19,057 Honey, it happened again! 846 00:34:19,144 --> 00:34:22,103 -You're gonna be a nice contrast to D-U-G here. 847 00:34:22,190 --> 00:34:25,019 They'll appreciate a more cerebral approach. 848 00:34:25,106 --> 00:34:26,194 -[crowd chanting] D-U-G! 849 00:34:26,281 --> 00:34:29,110 D-U-G! D-U-G! D-U-G! 850 00:34:29,197 --> 00:34:31,156 D-U-G! D-U-G! 851 00:34:31,243 --> 00:34:34,463 D-U-G! D-U-G! D-U-G! 852 00:34:34,550 --> 00:34:36,857 D-U-G! D-U-G! 853 00:34:36,944 --> 00:34:38,554 D-U-G! D-U-G! D-U-G! 854 00:34:38,641 --> 00:34:40,948 -Yeah! -D-U-G! 855 00:34:41,035 --> 00:34:42,123 D-U-G! D-U-G! 856 00:34:42,210 --> 00:34:43,298 -You guys are insane. 857 00:34:43,385 --> 00:34:45,648 You guys are on fire tonight. 858 00:34:45,735 --> 00:34:50,697 I just want to say that this is my favorite club to perform at 859 00:34:50,784 --> 00:34:52,612 in the entire country. 860 00:34:52,699 --> 00:34:56,268 You're what makes this job worth doing. 861 00:34:56,355 --> 00:34:57,356 God bless you. 862 00:34:57,443 --> 00:34:58,357 God bless America. 863 00:34:58,444 --> 00:34:59,532 Thanks for the show. 864 00:34:59,619 --> 00:35:00,663 -Whoo! [applause] 865 00:35:00,750 --> 00:35:02,056 -All right! 866 00:35:02,143 --> 00:35:07,670 [cheers, whistles and applause] 867 00:35:07,757 --> 00:35:09,281 -That's my time! 868 00:35:09,368 --> 00:35:10,891 Pine Lake, you rule! 869 00:35:10,978 --> 00:35:12,545 -Whoo! 870 00:35:12,632 --> 00:35:13,763 [cheers and whistles] 871 00:35:13,850 --> 00:35:15,548 Okay! 872 00:35:15,635 --> 00:35:17,463 And speaking of gays, 873 00:35:17,550 --> 00:35:18,768 our next act is a Bear fan. 874 00:35:18,855 --> 00:35:22,685 -[crowd] Boo! Boo! 875 00:35:22,772 --> 00:35:26,472 -But hey, in fairness, that's not what makes him gay. 876 00:35:26,559 --> 00:35:28,126 [inappropriate high-pitched laugh from crowd member] 877 00:35:28,213 --> 00:35:30,171 What makes it gay IS THAT HE TAKES IT IN THE ASS! 878 00:35:30,258 --> 00:35:31,999 -[raucous laughter] -What the fuck?!? 879 00:35:32,086 --> 00:35:33,261 [laughter continues] 880 00:35:33,348 --> 00:35:40,138 [electric guitar solo] 881 00:35:41,878 --> 00:35:45,621 -So please, give a big Packerland welcome 882 00:35:45,708 --> 00:35:49,234 to the president of the Gay Bear Fans of America Society, 883 00:35:49,321 --> 00:35:50,844 Mr. Joe Keegan! 884 00:35:50,931 --> 00:35:52,411 -Boo! 885 00:35:52,498 --> 00:35:55,849 [Ken is only person clapping] 886 00:35:55,936 --> 00:35:58,199 -Whoo! -Boo! 887 00:35:58,286 --> 00:36:00,549 -Keep it going for DUG! 888 00:36:00,636 --> 00:36:02,247 -Yeah! 889 00:36:02,334 --> 00:36:06,729 [cheers] 890 00:36:06,816 --> 00:36:09,993 -D-U-G. 891 00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:12,126 That's great. 892 00:36:12,213 --> 00:36:14,520 So, I was reading in the paper, 893 00:36:14,607 --> 00:36:16,435 you guys are preparing for another winter. 894 00:36:16,522 --> 00:36:18,654 You had a pretty bad snowstorm here last year, I understand. 895 00:36:18,741 --> 00:36:19,829 Kind of tragic, too. 896 00:36:19,916 --> 00:36:22,441 It took the lives of ten people. 897 00:36:22,528 --> 00:36:24,182 That's really sad, and everything, 898 00:36:24,269 --> 00:36:25,705 but I'm always amazed when I hear that statistic. 899 00:36:25,792 --> 00:36:27,794 How does a snowstorm take people's lives? 900 00:36:27,881 --> 00:36:30,492 It's not like the snow all falls at once. 901 00:36:30,579 --> 00:36:33,930 I mean, you do have ample warning there, don't ya? 902 00:36:34,017 --> 00:36:35,715 I've been in snowstorms. 903 00:36:35,802 --> 00:36:37,760 The first few flakes start to come down. 904 00:36:37,847 --> 00:36:38,892 Hmm. 905 00:36:38,979 --> 00:36:41,068 It gets up to about here, 906 00:36:41,155 --> 00:36:44,376 shit, maybe time to get in the house! 907 00:36:44,463 --> 00:36:47,292 Time to drop the lawn darts and go inside. 908 00:36:47,379 --> 00:36:49,337 -My cousin died in a snowstorm! 909 00:36:49,424 --> 00:36:52,862 [silence] 910 00:36:52,949 --> 00:36:56,344 -Isn't that something? -[coughing in audience] 911 00:36:56,431 --> 00:37:00,000 -All right, so I was on a farm today for the first time ever. 912 00:37:00,087 --> 00:37:02,132 I had the opportunity to see two horses mating. 913 00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:04,004 I didn't know this, 914 00:37:04,091 --> 00:37:05,919 but apparently on the farm, this is an actual job for a guy, 915 00:37:06,006 --> 00:37:09,749 is to help guide the one horse's thing into the other horse. 916 00:37:09,836 --> 00:37:11,359 -[coughing in audience] 917 00:37:11,446 --> 00:37:14,144 -And there's a vocational term for it, actually. 918 00:37:14,232 --> 00:37:16,146 It's called 'horse cock guider.' 919 00:37:16,234 --> 00:37:19,541 -It's honest work. -Huh? 920 00:37:19,628 --> 00:37:21,282 -Somebody needs to do it. 921 00:37:21,369 --> 00:37:23,197 -Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that, buddy. 922 00:37:23,284 --> 00:37:24,851 Are you sure you just don't enjoy it? 923 00:37:24,938 --> 00:37:26,722 [Joe laughs derisively] 924 00:37:26,809 --> 00:37:28,681 -You suck! 925 00:37:28,768 --> 00:37:30,465 -Well, I'm just-- 926 00:37:30,552 --> 00:37:31,945 -You think you're better than me, standing up there 927 00:37:32,032 --> 00:37:33,251 in a shirt with a collar? 928 00:37:34,295 --> 00:37:37,167 -Uh, no, I don't, actually. 929 00:37:37,255 --> 00:37:38,778 But you know what? 930 00:37:38,865 --> 00:37:40,649 Maybe if you got yourself a shirt with a collar, 931 00:37:40,736 --> 00:37:43,261 your job description wouldn't entail fondling an animal. 932 00:37:44,262 --> 00:37:45,698 -Dick. 933 00:37:48,875 --> 00:37:51,181 -Aw, come on! I'm kidding! 934 00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:54,359 -Homo! 935 00:37:54,446 --> 00:37:55,795 -So, anyway... 936 00:37:55,882 --> 00:37:56,970 -Pussy! 937 00:37:57,057 --> 00:37:58,101 -You suck! 938 00:37:58,188 --> 00:37:59,712 -You guys are a lot of fun. 939 00:37:59,799 --> 00:38:01,540 -[in unison] Bears suck cock! 940 00:38:01,627 --> 00:38:04,369 -Big time! -Fruitcake! 941 00:38:04,456 --> 00:38:06,284 -Thanks a lot. [Ralphy groans] 942 00:38:08,460 --> 00:38:11,941 -DUG! 943 00:38:12,028 --> 00:38:13,856 [all cheering for DUG] 944 00:38:13,943 --> 00:38:15,380 [applause] 945 00:38:15,467 --> 00:38:17,860 D-U-G! D-U-G! D-U-G! 946 00:38:17,947 --> 00:38:19,949 D-U-G! D-U-G! 947 00:38:20,036 --> 00:38:22,778 D-U-G! D-U-G! D-U-G! 948 00:38:22,865 --> 00:38:24,650 D-U-G! D-U-G! 949 00:38:24,737 --> 00:38:26,826 D-U-G! 950 00:38:26,913 --> 00:38:28,218 -All right, let's keep it rocking. 951 00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:29,698 Let's keep it rocking. 952 00:38:29,785 --> 00:38:33,049 -Maybe you are cursed. 953 00:38:33,136 --> 00:38:34,747 -[DUG] Okay! 954 00:38:34,834 --> 00:38:37,402 Let's keep it going for Kenny Caruso! 955 00:38:37,489 --> 00:38:40,666 [applause] 956 00:38:49,152 --> 00:38:52,112 [impish rollicking rock music] 957 00:38:56,290 --> 00:38:57,422 -Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for something 958 00:38:57,509 --> 00:38:59,119 that I like to call 959 00:38:59,206 --> 00:39:01,034 [speaking in deep, formal voice] Master Puppet Theater... 960 00:39:01,121 --> 00:39:02,470 -[DUG] No, no, wait! 961 00:39:02,557 --> 00:39:03,732 [clobber] Ow! 962 00:39:03,819 --> 00:39:07,519 No, no! 963 00:39:07,606 --> 00:39:09,390 -Hello, Argyle. 964 00:39:09,477 --> 00:39:10,913 How are you today? 965 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:11,958 Doing terrific... 966 00:39:12,045 --> 00:39:13,742 -You slapped me! 967 00:39:13,829 --> 00:39:15,918 -You smell a little funny today. 968 00:39:16,005 --> 00:39:18,268 You actually smell like... 969 00:39:18,356 --> 00:39:20,923 cotton balls. [laughter] 970 00:39:21,010 --> 00:39:22,272 -Knock it off! 971 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:23,926 Get up! 972 00:39:24,013 --> 00:39:26,276 -Hey, knock it off, you buckshots! 973 00:39:26,364 --> 00:39:28,583 I wanna watch Caruso. 974 00:39:28,670 --> 00:39:29,889 Knock it off. 975 00:39:29,976 --> 00:39:31,281 -No problem. 976 00:39:31,369 --> 00:39:33,283 -Ugh! You son of a fucking! 977 00:39:33,371 --> 00:39:35,808 -Hey, hey, okay, all right. 978 00:39:35,895 --> 00:39:36,939 All right. 979 00:39:37,026 --> 00:39:38,114 -All right. 980 00:39:38,201 --> 00:39:39,899 -Huh? 981 00:39:39,986 --> 00:39:41,335 If my tooth chipped, you're paying for that, bitch. 982 00:39:41,422 --> 00:39:44,382 Huh? 983 00:39:44,469 --> 00:39:45,905 -You guys, maybe you should-- 984 00:39:45,992 --> 00:39:47,428 Hey, get a room, you two! 985 00:39:47,515 --> 00:39:49,125 [laughter] 986 00:39:49,212 --> 00:39:54,479 [puppet moans] 987 00:39:54,566 --> 00:39:56,002 Oh, god. 988 00:39:56,089 --> 00:39:58,221 Hung like a Bear... this sock. [laughter] 989 00:39:58,308 --> 00:40:00,354 Hung like a sock! I know! 990 00:40:00,441 --> 00:40:03,401 [crickets chirping] 991 00:40:09,145 --> 00:40:11,191 -Hi, Joe. 992 00:40:11,278 --> 00:40:13,367 -Hi. 993 00:40:13,454 --> 00:40:17,110 -What happened? -Nothing, it's just a scratch. 994 00:40:17,197 --> 00:40:20,548 Would you believe me if I told you the other guy looks worse? 995 00:40:20,635 --> 00:40:22,768 -No, I wouldn't. 996 00:40:22,855 --> 00:40:24,552 I remember... 997 00:40:24,639 --> 00:40:28,774 you came in after lunch with a bloody nose, 998 00:40:28,861 --> 00:40:32,604 and you tried that same line. 999 00:40:32,691 --> 00:40:35,258 And then, a couple seconds later, 1000 00:40:35,345 --> 00:40:37,347 the other guy comes in 1001 00:40:37,435 --> 00:40:40,133 without a scratch 1002 00:40:40,220 --> 00:40:43,876 and starts apologizing for beating you up. 1003 00:40:43,963 --> 00:40:45,704 -Unfortunately, for him, 1004 00:40:45,791 --> 00:40:47,227 Chuck Martinelli found out 1005 00:40:47,314 --> 00:40:49,142 and made him wished he never touched me. 1006 00:40:49,229 --> 00:40:50,752 -Yikes! 1007 00:40:50,839 --> 00:40:52,275 -You were friends with him? -Best friends. 1008 00:40:52,362 --> 00:40:54,408 Rule number one, if you're a scrawny kid, 1009 00:40:54,495 --> 00:40:57,193 hang out with the toughest kid in school as much as possible. 1010 00:40:57,280 --> 00:41:00,414 -Oh, that's a good rule. 1011 00:41:02,938 --> 00:41:04,897 All set. 1012 00:41:04,984 --> 00:41:07,508 -Thank you. 1013 00:41:07,595 --> 00:41:08,988 So, Miss Mahoney, you wanna... 1014 00:41:09,075 --> 00:41:11,469 do something? 1015 00:41:12,470 --> 00:41:14,646 -Yeah, I'd like that. 1016 00:41:14,733 --> 00:41:17,257 [whispering] But you have to call me Molly. 1017 00:41:17,344 --> 00:41:18,911 ♪ ["Don't Be Lonely" by the BoDeans] ♪ 1018 00:41:18,998 --> 00:41:21,130 So when the year ended, I left. 1019 00:41:21,217 --> 00:41:23,698 When I was a kid, my family always came here in the summer, 1020 00:41:23,785 --> 00:41:26,919 and I loved it, so, it's where I came. 1021 00:41:27,006 --> 00:41:28,703 -All right, come on. 1022 00:41:28,790 --> 00:41:31,140 The best teacher in the world doesn't just quit her job 1023 00:41:31,227 --> 00:41:34,622 and leave her hometown to work at a motel in some small town. 1024 00:41:34,709 --> 00:41:37,059 Does she? 1025 00:41:37,146 --> 00:41:41,586 -Okay, Joe Keegan. 1026 00:41:41,673 --> 00:41:43,762 Do you remember Mr. Franks? 1027 00:41:43,849 --> 00:41:45,503 -Coach Franks, yeah. 1028 00:41:45,590 --> 00:41:48,288 -Well, I was Mrs. Franks until about three years ago. 1029 00:41:48,375 --> 00:41:50,290 -Whoa! 1030 00:41:50,377 --> 00:41:52,074 So your name is Molly Franks now? 1031 00:41:52,161 --> 00:41:55,382 -No, no, I changed it back after I left. 1032 00:41:57,515 --> 00:41:58,603 -Why'd you leave? 1033 00:41:58,690 --> 00:42:00,474 -Probably 1034 00:42:00,561 --> 00:42:02,215 because he was screwing the vice-principal. 1035 00:42:02,302 --> 00:42:03,477 -Mr. Edwin?!? 1036 00:42:03,564 --> 00:42:06,306 -No, Eileen Jacobs. 1037 00:42:06,393 --> 00:42:09,004 Mr. Edwin left soon after you graduated. 1038 00:42:11,616 --> 00:42:13,008 -That sucks, Miss Mahoney. 1039 00:42:13,095 --> 00:42:14,706 -Molly. 1040 00:42:14,793 --> 00:42:17,273 -Molly, sorry. 1041 00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:23,453 So, was it obvious that I had an enormous crush on you? 1042 00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:27,588 -I used to think maybe you did. 1043 00:42:27,675 --> 00:42:29,677 Then, I thought, "Well, maybe he's just attentive." 1044 00:42:29,764 --> 00:42:32,506 [chuckles] -Yeah, that was it. 1045 00:42:32,593 --> 00:42:34,247 Chuck and I used to say 1046 00:42:34,334 --> 00:42:37,250 the first one who saw you after high school had dibs. 1047 00:42:37,337 --> 00:42:39,078 ["Don't Be Lonely" by the BoDeans] 1048 00:42:39,165 --> 00:42:41,863 ♪ Don't be lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely ♪ 1049 00:42:41,950 --> 00:42:44,083 -He showed my clip, and a studio audience went... 1050 00:42:44,170 --> 00:42:45,258 bananas. [woman laughs] 1051 00:42:45,345 --> 00:42:46,607 Even Dave Coulier was laughing. 1052 00:42:46,694 --> 00:42:48,566 -Oh, awesome. 1053 00:42:51,003 --> 00:42:54,006 -[Ralphy] Need more ice, DUG? 1054 00:42:56,486 --> 00:42:58,140 -It's fucking lucky he ran off so fast. 1055 00:42:58,227 --> 00:42:59,577 -Yeah, right! 1056 00:42:59,664 --> 00:43:01,448 If we hadn't pulled him off of you, 1057 00:43:01,535 --> 00:43:03,232 there'd be a permanent DUG-size outline on the pool table. 1058 00:43:03,319 --> 00:43:05,321 -No, he was just pissed because he couldn't follow me. 1059 00:43:05,408 --> 00:43:07,541 -He was pissed because you tried to bury him. 1060 00:43:07,628 --> 00:43:09,325 You don't do that! 1061 00:43:09,412 --> 00:43:10,849 Take enough lumps in this business 1062 00:43:10,936 --> 00:43:12,415 without that kind of shit. 1063 00:43:13,416 --> 00:43:15,418 Joe's a solid comic. 1064 00:43:15,505 --> 00:43:17,290 You know, the best you're going to do 1065 00:43:17,377 --> 00:43:19,684 with fag and football jokes is morning radio in Green Bay. 1066 00:43:19,771 --> 00:43:21,207 -God, that would be sweet, huh? 1067 00:43:21,294 --> 00:43:23,165 [Ralphy and women laugh heartily] 1068 00:43:24,384 --> 00:43:26,342 Okay, tell me. 1069 00:43:26,429 --> 00:43:28,083 You've seen me out there. 1070 00:43:28,170 --> 00:43:29,998 I've got the confidence. 1071 00:43:30,085 --> 00:43:32,174 I'm always cracking people up at the store. 1072 00:43:32,261 --> 00:43:35,482 What should I do? 1073 00:43:35,569 --> 00:43:38,572 [glasses clink] 1074 00:43:39,529 --> 00:43:41,706 -Be original. 1075 00:43:41,793 --> 00:43:44,534 You know, say something no one else has the guts to. 1076 00:43:44,622 --> 00:43:46,058 Be controversial. 1077 00:43:46,145 --> 00:43:47,625 It's the only way you're going to stand out. 1078 00:43:50,628 --> 00:43:52,107 -Original. 1079 00:43:52,194 --> 00:43:54,153 Original... 1080 00:43:55,023 --> 00:43:57,417 That's cool, man. 1081 00:43:57,504 --> 00:44:00,942 From now on, I am gonna be original. 1082 00:44:01,029 --> 00:44:05,686 [Ralphy tries to stifle laughter] 1083 00:44:09,734 --> 00:44:11,387 -Hey, Molly. 1084 00:44:11,474 --> 00:44:13,172 -Oh, hey. -Good night. 1085 00:44:13,259 --> 00:44:15,783 -Good night. 1086 00:44:15,870 --> 00:44:19,221 -Oh, my. [laughs] -That's what you want to see. 1087 00:44:19,308 --> 00:44:21,136 -Wait a second. 1088 00:44:24,009 --> 00:44:29,449 -Arthur? -[Arthur snores] 1089 00:44:29,536 --> 00:44:30,624 -[knocks] Arthur? 1090 00:44:30,711 --> 00:44:32,017 -[Arthur startles] 1091 00:44:32,104 --> 00:44:33,453 -Oh, Jesus! 1092 00:44:33,540 --> 00:44:34,889 -Arthur, it's me! 1093 00:44:34,976 --> 00:44:36,848 -Oh, sorry, Molly. 1094 00:44:36,935 --> 00:44:39,894 I must've dozed off. 1095 00:44:39,981 --> 00:44:41,722 I was trying to get my rest for tomorrow. 1096 00:44:41,809 --> 00:44:43,245 -That's okay. 1097 00:44:43,332 --> 00:44:45,117 Okay, I just wanted to say 'hi.' 1098 00:44:45,204 --> 00:44:46,596 -Good night. 1099 00:44:50,862 --> 00:44:52,907 -Arthur owns the motel where I work. 1100 00:44:52,994 --> 00:44:54,474 And believe it or not, 1101 00:44:54,561 --> 00:44:56,868 he is a better sheriff than a businessman. 1102 00:44:56,955 --> 00:44:59,174 It's a good thing nothing ever happens around here. 1103 00:44:59,261 --> 00:45:00,610 [laughs] 1104 00:45:00,698 --> 00:45:02,874 Cheeseburgers and hot chocolate. 1105 00:45:02,961 --> 00:45:06,529 I guess show business isn't all life in the fast lane, huh? 1106 00:45:06,616 --> 00:45:08,488 -Well, I don't know if doing your act 1107 00:45:08,575 --> 00:45:10,708 in front of a picture of a huge fish 1108 00:45:10,795 --> 00:45:12,057 can really be considered show business. 1109 00:45:12,144 --> 00:45:13,580 -[Molly laughs] 1110 00:45:18,150 --> 00:45:19,934 All right. 1111 00:45:20,021 --> 00:45:21,066 Good night, Joe. 1112 00:45:21,153 --> 00:45:22,241 -Good night, Molly. 1113 00:45:29,161 --> 00:45:31,598 [ignition starts] 1114 00:45:38,039 --> 00:45:41,477 [sly, playful action music] 1115 00:45:41,564 --> 00:45:45,743 [muted singing] 1116 00:45:48,746 --> 00:45:51,270 [phone rings] 1117 00:45:51,357 --> 00:45:55,796 [ringtone pulses] 1118 00:45:55,883 --> 00:45:57,145 - Yeah? -Hey, it's me. 1119 00:45:57,232 --> 00:45:58,625 Where are you? 1120 00:45:58,712 --> 00:46:00,409 -I hired four guys out of Green Bay. 1121 00:46:00,496 --> 00:46:02,020 Our boy is going to have himself a little hunting accident. 1122 00:46:02,107 --> 00:46:03,717 -Beauty! 1123 00:46:03,804 --> 00:46:05,632 Find a place to stay and I'll call you tomorrow. 1124 00:46:12,595 --> 00:46:15,685 -[DUG] Let's talk about political correctness. 1125 00:46:15,773 --> 00:46:17,209 Down in Green Bay, 1126 00:46:17,296 --> 00:46:18,384 [voice thick from cigarette in mouth] 1127 00:46:18,471 --> 00:46:21,517 they're raising their taxes 1128 00:46:21,604 --> 00:46:26,784 so that they can put wheelchair ramps on every sidewalk. 1129 00:46:30,091 --> 00:46:31,701 We've only got three cripples in the whole neighborhood. 1130 00:46:32,702 --> 00:46:34,748 -What the hell's this? 1131 00:46:34,835 --> 00:46:36,228 -I can't believe he listened to me. 1132 00:46:36,315 --> 00:46:37,446 I'm a prop comic. 1133 00:46:37,533 --> 00:46:39,057 -We're going to start making 1134 00:46:39,144 --> 00:46:40,754 all the movies real loud for deaf guys, huh? 1135 00:46:40,841 --> 00:46:42,625 -You are the greatest friend a guy could ever have. 1136 00:46:42,712 --> 00:46:45,977 -Make the newspaper real simple for retards. 1137 00:46:46,064 --> 00:46:47,892 [clink glasses] 1138 00:46:47,979 --> 00:46:49,894 ["Small Town Ways" by the BoDeans] 1139 00:46:49,981 --> 00:46:54,072 ♪ And all of those people make me jump back again ♪ 1140 00:46:54,159 --> 00:46:57,075 ♪ Things are mighty different here in my small town ♪ 1141 00:46:57,162 --> 00:46:59,207 ♪ It seems everywhere you look, there's people all around ♪ 1142 00:46:59,294 --> 00:47:02,254 -[DUG] Dudes! -Hey, D-U-G. 1143 00:47:02,341 --> 00:47:04,430 ♪ Oh, I remember one day in the factory ♪ 1144 00:47:04,517 --> 00:47:05,997 ♪ Giving up the fight for the company ♪ 1145 00:47:06,084 --> 00:47:08,042 -So, uh, interesting shows tonight, DUG. 1146 00:47:08,129 --> 00:47:09,783 -Thanks, man. 1147 00:47:09,870 --> 00:47:11,872 -I don't know about that new thing you're doing up there. 1148 00:47:11,959 --> 00:47:13,569 It's Rocktoberfest. 1149 00:47:13,656 --> 00:47:15,093 I want people to feel like drinking and dancing, 1150 00:47:15,180 --> 00:47:16,181 not committin' suicide. 1151 00:47:16,268 --> 00:47:17,704 -It's about the truth, man. 1152 00:47:17,791 --> 00:47:20,663 -Well, it's gonna be about no more bookings. 1153 00:47:20,750 --> 00:47:22,448 ♪ Don't look back no more Whoa ♪ 1154 00:47:22,535 --> 00:47:24,842 -[Joe] Hey, don't listen to him. 1155 00:47:24,929 --> 00:47:26,278 I admire you, Dug. 1156 00:47:26,365 --> 00:47:27,757 -I don't know man, maybe he's right. 1157 00:47:27,845 --> 00:47:28,933 I gotta work. 1158 00:47:29,020 --> 00:47:30,108 -[Joe] Don't talk like that. 1159 00:47:30,195 --> 00:47:32,110 Look, give it time. 1160 00:47:32,197 --> 00:47:34,199 Bill Hicks wasn't an overnight success. 1161 00:47:35,243 --> 00:47:37,245 -Who the fuck is that? 1162 00:47:38,333 --> 00:47:40,074 -You don't know who Bill Hicks is? 1163 00:47:40,161 --> 00:47:42,468 -Why the fuck should I know who that is? 1164 00:47:44,513 --> 00:47:47,299 [Kenny exhales "oof"] -All right, who needs a shot? 1165 00:47:50,780 --> 00:47:52,434 [Joe chuckles] 1166 00:47:54,436 --> 00:47:55,524 -How's your face? 1167 00:47:55,611 --> 00:47:56,874 -Fine, how's yours? 1168 00:47:56,961 --> 00:47:59,311 -I'm all right. 1169 00:48:01,182 --> 00:48:04,664 Bill Hicks was a comic, a legendary comic. 1170 00:48:04,751 --> 00:48:08,668 -I know who he was. 1171 00:48:08,755 --> 00:48:11,758 -It's okay to say you don't know who Bill Hicks was. 1172 00:48:11,845 --> 00:48:14,543 -I know who he was! I was kidding! 1173 00:48:14,630 --> 00:48:16,415 -No, you weren't! 1174 00:48:16,502 --> 00:48:18,286 [commotion] 1175 00:48:18,373 --> 00:48:19,853 [glassware clinks] 1176 00:48:19,940 --> 00:48:21,420 -Oh, Jesus, here! 1177 00:48:21,507 --> 00:48:23,335 [scuffle continues] -Hey! Knock it off! 1178 00:48:23,422 --> 00:48:25,467 Knock it off! Hey! 1179 00:48:25,554 --> 00:48:26,642 I'm serious! 1180 00:48:26,729 --> 00:48:28,644 [tussle continues] 1181 00:48:28,731 --> 00:48:30,995 Jesus Christ. 1182 00:48:31,082 --> 00:48:32,910 Shake hands, both of ya. I'm serious. 1183 00:48:32,997 --> 00:48:34,737 Right now, shake hands, both of ya. 1184 00:48:35,956 --> 00:48:37,436 DO IT! Shake hands right now! 1185 00:48:37,523 --> 00:48:38,611 Geez. 1186 00:48:38,698 --> 00:48:41,875 Here, let's toast. 1187 00:48:41,962 --> 00:48:43,746 To uh Rocktoberfest! 1188 00:48:43,833 --> 00:48:45,009 -To Rocktoberfest. 1189 00:48:45,096 --> 00:48:46,097 -And Bill Hicks. 1190 00:48:46,184 --> 00:48:47,228 [Kenny spits out his drink] 1191 00:48:47,315 --> 00:48:50,014 [skirmish resumes] 1192 00:48:50,101 --> 00:48:52,581 -[DUG] Time, time, TIME! -Time?! 1193 00:48:52,668 --> 00:48:54,105 -TIME, TIME! -Who calls time?! 1194 00:48:54,192 --> 00:48:55,367 -Fuck you, I called time! 1195 00:48:55,454 --> 00:48:57,195 ♪ We don't dance ♪ 1196 00:48:57,282 --> 00:49:00,459 ♪ Do ya, do ya, do ya, whoo-oo whoo-oo ♪ 1197 00:49:00,546 --> 00:49:02,504 ♪ Do ya, do ya, do ya, whoa-shake ♪ 1198 00:49:02,591 --> 00:49:05,725 -[Kenny] I'm gonna kick so much asson The Tonight Show, 1199 00:49:05,812 --> 00:49:08,249 Jay's gonna ask me to do the panel, motherfucker! 1200 00:49:08,336 --> 00:49:09,859 -[Ralphy laughs] -Give me! 1201 00:49:09,947 --> 00:49:12,166 [Kenny slurring] Give it to me! -Yeah, yeah. 1202 00:49:12,253 --> 00:49:13,907 -[hands slap] -Yeah, well, 1203 00:49:13,994 --> 00:49:15,909 Harvey's gotta put you on the show first, buckshot. 1204 00:49:15,996 --> 00:49:17,737 [Kenny laughs mockingly] -Buckshot? 1205 00:49:17,824 --> 00:49:20,827 -Why are you guys always talking about The Tonight show? 1206 00:49:23,743 --> 00:49:25,658 -[Ralphy] Oh, Christ, you didn't tell him? 1207 00:49:27,965 --> 00:49:29,705 -Tell me what? 1208 00:49:29,792 --> 00:49:31,707 -That The Tonight Show's our favorite show. 1209 00:49:35,755 --> 00:49:37,757 -No, they never said a word. 1210 00:49:37,844 --> 00:49:38,714 [laughing conspiratorially] 1211 00:49:38,801 --> 00:49:39,889 ♪ ♪ 1212 00:49:39,977 --> 00:49:41,848 ♪ Yay, yay ♪ 1213 00:49:41,935 --> 00:49:43,981 -[Kenny] Fucker! Give me some! 1214 00:49:44,068 --> 00:49:45,243 [bellowing laugh] 1215 00:49:45,330 --> 00:49:46,809 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 1216 00:49:46,896 --> 00:49:48,420 [ indistinct talking and laugher] 1217 00:49:48,507 --> 00:49:49,638 ♪ Through the sound on the ground ♪ 1218 00:49:49,725 --> 00:49:50,944 ♪ Move it, move it ♪ 1219 00:49:51,031 --> 00:49:52,859 ♪ To the beat on the feet ♪ 1220 00:49:52,946 --> 00:49:56,602 ♪ You bet your bones gonna feel money thighs though ♪ 1221 00:49:56,689 --> 00:49:58,560 ♪ Move it, move it, now I ♪ 1222 00:49:58,647 --> 00:50:00,475 -[Molly] Hey. 1223 00:50:00,562 --> 00:50:02,173 -[Ralphy] Well, if it isn't the prettiest girl in Pine Lake. 1224 00:50:02,260 --> 00:50:03,957 And... Janice. ♪ ["Still the Night" BoDeans] ♪ 1225 00:50:04,044 --> 00:50:06,829 -Hi, guys. -Molly! 1226 00:50:06,916 --> 00:50:08,222 -I convinced my friend Janice 1227 00:50:08,309 --> 00:50:09,876 to come out tonight for a nightcap. 1228 00:50:09,963 --> 00:50:11,704 -Cool. Hey, Janice, how ya doing? 1229 00:50:11,791 --> 00:50:13,401 Here, have a seat. 1230 00:50:13,488 --> 00:50:15,534 -How do, ladies? ♪ If I could hold you tonight ♪ 1231 00:50:15,621 --> 00:50:17,579 ♪ I might never let go ♪ ♪ If I can hold you tonight ♪ 1232 00:50:17,666 --> 00:50:18,754 -Are you okay? 1233 00:50:18,841 --> 00:50:20,104 -He sucker-punched me. 1234 00:50:20,191 --> 00:50:21,366 -How many times? 1235 00:50:21,453 --> 00:50:23,063 [Kenny chuckles] 1236 00:50:23,150 --> 00:50:24,369 -[Ralphy] Drinks on the house for this table. 1237 00:50:24,456 --> 00:50:26,240 -Miller Lite and a shot of Jager. 1238 00:50:26,327 --> 00:50:27,850 -Whoa! 1239 00:50:27,937 --> 00:50:30,201 -[Molly] Yeah, I'll have a Jack on the rocks. 1240 00:50:32,159 --> 00:50:35,249 -So, hey, Molly, how things going there with Jaker? 1241 00:50:35,336 --> 00:50:38,296 -Uh, it's not gonna happen, but thanks for asking. 1242 00:50:38,383 --> 00:50:39,601 -Sorry to hear that. 1243 00:50:39,688 --> 00:50:41,386 Well, back to work. 1244 00:50:41,473 --> 00:50:43,649 -[Janice] Just 'cause she hasn't dated in a long time. 1245 00:50:43,736 --> 00:50:45,390 I told her she's nuts. 1246 00:50:45,477 --> 00:50:47,827 Big Jake Norquist is a hunk. 1247 00:50:47,914 --> 00:50:49,785 I dated him in high school. 1248 00:50:49,872 --> 00:50:52,484 They should call him "Huge Jake Norquist," 1249 00:50:52,571 --> 00:50:55,748 if you know what I mean. [laughter] 1250 00:50:55,835 --> 00:50:57,663 Compared to Art, he's a stud. 1251 00:50:57,750 --> 00:50:59,056 -[DUG] Wait, Big Jake Norquist? 1252 00:50:59,143 --> 00:51:00,492 -I know, I know. 1253 00:51:00,579 --> 00:51:02,189 Best goddamn football player 1254 00:51:02,276 --> 00:51:04,278 in all of northeastern Wisconsin. 1255 00:51:04,365 --> 00:51:06,193 -I don't know about that, 1256 00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:08,152 but he's also like the biggest drug dealer in the entire state. 1257 00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:10,154 -What? 1258 00:51:10,241 --> 00:51:12,156 -Oh, yeah, he's the Godfather of Green Bay. 1259 00:51:12,243 --> 00:51:13,679 He's a bad guy. 1260 00:51:13,766 --> 00:51:16,682 ♪ I might never, no never let go ♪ 1261 00:51:16,769 --> 00:51:18,814 [DUG snorts] [audience sings along] ♪ Whoa ♪ 1262 00:51:18,901 --> 00:51:20,468 [uncomfortable laughs] 1263 00:51:20,555 --> 00:51:21,991 -Uh, Ralphy fixed me up with a drug dealer? 1264 00:51:22,079 --> 00:51:23,558 -Oh, I doubt he even knows it. 1265 00:51:23,645 --> 00:51:24,603 He owns a consulting business to look legit. 1266 00:51:24,690 --> 00:51:26,039 -Big Jake a drug dealer? 1267 00:51:26,126 --> 00:51:27,780 No way! He's a sweetie. 1268 00:51:27,867 --> 00:51:29,347 -[Big Jake snorting] 1269 00:51:29,434 --> 00:51:30,957 [roaring in Jake's ears] Ah! 1270 00:51:31,044 --> 00:51:35,831 ♪ ["Macarena"] ♪ [lip smacking sounds] 1271 00:51:35,918 --> 00:51:38,573 ♪ ♪ [yells] Yaaaaahhhh! 1272 00:51:38,660 --> 00:51:40,184 Whoo! ♪ ♪ 1273 00:51:40,271 --> 00:51:42,055 -Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake! 1274 00:51:42,142 --> 00:51:43,796 Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake! 1275 00:51:43,883 --> 00:51:45,972 Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake! 1276 00:51:46,059 --> 00:51:47,930 ♪ When I dance they call me Macarena ♪ 1277 00:51:48,017 --> 00:51:49,671 Jake! Jake! Jake! 1278 00:51:49,758 --> 00:51:50,759 ♪ And the boys they say que soy buena ♪ 1279 00:51:50,846 --> 00:51:52,631 Jake! Jake! Jake! 1280 00:51:52,718 --> 00:51:54,415 ♪ They all want me They can't have me ♪ 1281 00:51:54,502 --> 00:51:56,069 ♪ So they all come and dance beside me ♪ 1282 00:51:56,156 --> 00:51:58,071 Jake! Jake! Jake! ♪ Move with me, chant with me ♪ 1283 00:51:58,158 --> 00:51:59,768 ♪ And if you're good, I'll take you home with me ♪ 1284 00:51:59,855 --> 00:52:01,596 Jake! Jake! 1285 00:52:01,683 --> 00:52:03,598 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 1286 00:52:03,685 --> 00:52:05,339 ♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría cosa buena ♪ 1287 00:52:05,426 --> 00:52:07,211 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 1288 00:52:07,298 --> 00:52:08,777 ♪ Hey Macarena ♪ 1289 00:52:08,864 --> 00:52:10,605 ♪ Aa-iiy ♪ 1290 00:52:10,692 --> 00:52:12,433 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 1291 00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:14,174 ♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría cosa buena ♪ 1292 00:52:14,261 --> 00:52:16,524 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena ♪ 1293 00:52:16,611 --> 00:52:18,047 ♪ Hey Macarena ♪ 1294 00:52:18,135 --> 00:52:19,919 ♪ Aa-iiy ♪ 1295 00:52:20,006 --> 00:52:21,703 ♪ But don't you worry about my boyfriend ♪ 1296 00:52:21,790 --> 00:52:23,314 ♪ He's a boy who's name is Victorino ♪ 1297 00:52:23,401 --> 00:52:25,098 ♪ I don't want him ♪ 1298 00:52:25,185 --> 00:52:26,317 ♪ Couldn't stand him ♪ 1299 00:52:26,404 --> 00:52:28,057 ♪ He was no good so I ♪ 1300 00:52:28,145 --> 00:52:29,755 [wicked laughter] 1301 00:52:29,842 --> 00:52:32,714 ♪ ["Me Oh My" by the BoDeans] ♪ 1302 00:52:32,801 --> 00:52:36,327 ♪ ♪ 1303 00:52:36,414 --> 00:52:38,242 ♪ Yeah... ♪ 1304 00:52:38,329 --> 00:52:40,896 ♪ Say... Doo doo doo doo du doo ♪ 1305 00:52:40,983 --> 00:52:43,247 -[Kenny] Hey, Rat! [laughs] ♪ Doo doo doo doo du doo ♪ 1306 00:52:43,334 --> 00:52:45,205 ♪ My, oh my, we sure in love ♪ 1307 00:52:46,293 --> 00:52:48,339 ♪ Time and time again ♪ 1308 00:52:48,426 --> 00:52:50,254 -[Kenny gasps with laughter] 1309 00:52:50,341 --> 00:52:52,299 ♪ I've seen the people trying to play it cool ♪ 1310 00:52:52,386 --> 00:52:53,996 ♪ They falter, they fall down ♪ 1311 00:52:54,083 --> 00:52:55,868 ♪ And forget that golden rule ♪ 1312 00:52:55,955 --> 00:52:57,652 [Kenny] See, that's a real man, he knows what he's doing. 1313 00:52:57,739 --> 00:52:58,958 ♪ Are you hearing what they're saying ♪ 1314 00:52:59,045 --> 00:53:01,221 Say, hey, Molly, you need a real man. 1315 00:53:01,308 --> 00:53:02,831 You need a guy who knows what he's doing. 1316 00:53:02,918 --> 00:53:04,833 'Cuz old Joe here, he hasn't been with a woman 1317 00:53:04,920 --> 00:53:06,835 in so long he wouldn't know what to do. 1318 00:53:06,922 --> 00:53:08,924 -Really? -You know what? 1319 00:53:09,011 --> 00:53:10,622 I don't think anybody's really interested. 1320 00:53:10,709 --> 00:53:12,493 -[Kenny] In fact, the last girl that Joe dated 1321 00:53:12,580 --> 00:53:13,625 left him for Chachi. 1322 00:53:13,712 --> 00:53:15,714 [everyone laughing] 1323 00:53:15,801 --> 00:53:17,933 ♪ My, oh my, we sure in love Two people in the name of love♪ 1324 00:53:18,020 --> 00:53:19,631 -Wait! The Chachi? 1325 00:53:19,718 --> 00:53:21,372 -She didn't leave me for Chachi. She met him after. 1326 00:53:21,459 --> 00:53:24,157 -[Janice] Wait. Scott Baio from Happy Days? 1327 00:53:24,244 --> 00:53:26,551 -[Kenny] That's the one, "Wah, wah, wah." 1328 00:53:26,638 --> 00:53:28,466 -Oh, god, man. 1329 00:53:28,553 --> 00:53:32,470 If I was dating a girl and then she started dating Chachi. 1330 00:53:32,557 --> 00:53:34,385 Man, that's awesome. 1331 00:53:34,472 --> 00:53:38,780 It's like, that must mean that I'm on the right track, ya know? 1332 00:53:38,867 --> 00:53:41,914 I must be a contender. 1333 00:53:42,001 --> 00:53:44,308 -What I wouldn't do to get with Scott Baio. 1334 00:53:44,395 --> 00:53:45,874 [slurps down drink] 1335 00:53:45,961 --> 00:53:47,746 [laughter] 1336 00:53:47,833 --> 00:53:49,487 ♪ Are you hearing what they're saying ♪ 1337 00:53:49,574 --> 00:53:50,879 ♪ See the game they're ♪ [music fades out] 1338 00:53:50,966 --> 00:53:52,968 -You guys need another round? 1339 00:53:53,055 --> 00:53:55,232 -[Molly] Fuck, yeah, it's Rocktoberfest! 1340 00:53:55,319 --> 00:53:56,581 -All right. 1341 00:53:56,668 --> 00:53:59,497 [laughs] 1342 00:53:59,584 --> 00:54:02,064 -You must think I'm such a weirdo. 1343 00:54:02,151 --> 00:54:03,675 I mean, 1344 00:54:03,762 --> 00:54:05,894 I date drug dealers. 1345 00:54:05,981 --> 00:54:09,811 I am a college-educated desk attendant at a dumpy motel. 1346 00:54:09,898 --> 00:54:12,074 [Joe laughs] 1347 00:54:12,161 --> 00:54:15,339 And I get drunk with former students. 1348 00:54:15,426 --> 00:54:17,471 -Cool. [both laugh] 1349 00:54:17,558 --> 00:54:20,082 -I don't even know what I'm trying to say. 1350 00:54:20,169 --> 00:54:24,696 Last night was really fun. 1351 00:54:24,783 --> 00:54:26,872 -Hey, uh, wanna dance? 1352 00:54:26,959 --> 00:54:28,743 -Hey, take a hike, will ya? 1353 00:54:28,830 --> 00:54:29,875 Huh, will ya please? 1354 00:54:29,962 --> 00:54:31,224 Thank you, bud. 1355 00:54:36,882 --> 00:54:39,798 ♪ ♪ 1356 00:54:39,885 --> 00:54:42,844 ♪["Beaujolais" by the BoDeans]♪ 1357 00:54:46,544 --> 00:54:48,154 ♪ Well, the night's comin' on ♪ 1358 00:54:48,241 --> 00:54:50,025 Would you like to dance, Mrs. Mahoney? 1359 00:54:50,112 --> 00:54:52,027 ♪ Like a soulful song ♪ 1360 00:54:52,114 --> 00:54:53,725 -I would love to dance with you, Joe. 1361 00:54:53,812 --> 00:54:56,771 ♪ A tuned-down melody ♪ 1362 00:54:58,512 --> 00:55:01,080 ♪ Broken hearts, corner bar ♪ 1363 00:55:01,167 --> 00:55:03,952 ♪ Wonderin' where you are ♪ 1364 00:55:04,039 --> 00:55:08,261 ♪ Soakin' dreams and old memories ♪ 1365 00:55:09,784 --> 00:55:12,483 ♪ Well, you begged me to stay ♪ 1366 00:55:12,570 --> 00:55:15,573 ♪ Still, I ran away ♪ 1367 00:55:15,660 --> 00:55:21,230 ♪ Too young, too foolish to see ♪ 1368 00:55:21,318 --> 00:55:24,538 ♪ There ain't very much ♪ 1369 00:55:24,625 --> 00:55:27,019 ♪ More than a touch ♪ 1370 00:55:27,106 --> 00:55:31,153 ♪ Of the love that you gave to me ♪ 1371 00:55:31,240 --> 00:55:33,460 ♪ ♪ 1372 00:55:33,547 --> 00:55:35,375 ♪ So, you bring on the night ♪ [Janice sighs disappointedly] 1373 00:55:35,462 --> 00:55:38,552 ♪ Baby, I'll be all right ♪ 1374 00:55:38,639 --> 00:55:43,862 ♪ I promise not to feel no pain ♪ 1375 00:55:43,949 --> 00:55:46,604 ♪ No, I won't say a word ♪ [Janice slurps beer] 1376 00:55:46,691 --> 00:55:49,868 ♪ Of the lessons I learned ♪ 1377 00:55:49,955 --> 00:55:54,263 ♪ Beaujolais in the September rain ♪ 1378 00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:56,135 ♪ ♪ 1379 00:55:56,222 --> 00:56:01,575 ♪ Beaujolais oh ♪ ♪ Beaujolais oh ♪ 1380 00:56:01,662 --> 00:56:03,229 -Can I touch your boobs? 1381 00:56:03,316 --> 00:56:05,187 ♪ Beaujolais in the September rain ♪ 1382 00:56:05,274 --> 00:56:11,672 ♪ I'm lost thinking of our one night of love ♪ 1383 00:56:11,759 --> 00:56:13,326 [DUG sighs loudly] 1384 00:56:13,413 --> 00:56:18,200 ♪ Beaujolais in the September rain ♪ 1385 00:56:18,287 --> 00:56:23,510 ♪ [humming melody] ♪ 1386 00:56:23,597 --> 00:56:26,295 [DUG sighs] 1387 00:56:26,383 --> 00:56:29,168 [Janice glugs down a drink] 1388 00:56:29,255 --> 00:56:33,085 [Janice exhales] 1389 00:56:33,172 --> 00:56:34,434 -Okay. 1390 00:56:36,218 --> 00:56:39,396 [lips smacking] 1391 00:56:41,180 --> 00:56:43,182 [table wobbles] 1392 00:56:44,183 --> 00:56:47,099 [crickets chirping] 1393 00:56:47,186 --> 00:56:48,927 [engine quiets] 1394 00:56:55,324 --> 00:56:58,719 -Nice place. 1395 00:56:58,806 --> 00:57:01,113 -Thanks. 1396 00:57:06,945 --> 00:57:08,686 -Lot of crickets. 1397 00:57:08,773 --> 00:57:09,948 -Yeah. 1398 00:57:13,821 --> 00:57:15,780 -Joey... 1399 00:57:15,867 --> 00:57:18,347 -Yeah? 1400 00:57:18,435 --> 00:57:25,311 ♪ ♪ 1401 00:57:25,398 --> 00:57:28,488 [lips smacking] 1402 00:57:42,937 --> 00:57:44,156 [fire crackling] 1403 00:57:44,243 --> 00:57:46,375 -It's hot! Don't burn yourself. 1404 00:57:51,119 --> 00:57:52,730 -These your kitchen boots? 1405 00:57:52,817 --> 00:57:54,819 [laughing] -Yes, the floor is cold. 1406 00:58:00,868 --> 00:58:04,437 -How many comics who come through here hit on you? 1407 00:58:04,524 --> 00:58:10,922 -Hmm, almost all of the men, and um... 1408 00:58:11,009 --> 00:58:13,315 and three women. 1409 00:58:13,402 --> 00:58:14,926 [laughs] 1410 00:58:15,013 --> 00:58:16,231 -Really? 1411 00:58:16,318 --> 00:58:18,320 -Mm-hmm. 1412 00:58:18,407 --> 00:58:20,018 There was one guy I liked, though. 1413 00:58:21,976 --> 00:58:24,109 Higgins. 1414 00:58:24,196 --> 00:58:26,198 -What?!? -[Molly speaks tenderly] Yeah. 1415 00:58:26,285 --> 00:58:27,678 -Are you serious?!? 1416 00:58:27,765 --> 00:58:29,723 Higgins?!? 1417 00:58:29,810 --> 00:58:31,508 -[Joe shouting] Oh, my god! 1418 00:58:31,595 --> 00:58:33,422 [Joe groans] Oh! 1419 00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:34,685 Oh, my god! 1420 00:58:34,772 --> 00:58:35,860 Higgins?!? 1421 00:58:35,947 --> 00:58:37,992 -[Molly chuckles] Wait. 1422 00:58:38,079 --> 00:58:39,733 Kenny told me to tell you that. 1423 00:58:39,820 --> 00:58:41,300 [both laughing] -You are so dead! 1424 00:58:41,387 --> 00:58:43,258 [laughs] You are so dead! 1425 00:58:43,345 --> 00:58:45,043 [Molly giggles] 1426 00:58:47,698 --> 00:58:50,178 [smooching] 1427 00:58:50,265 --> 00:58:52,354 -Payback's a bitch, huh? 1428 00:58:52,441 --> 00:58:53,878 -That's right. [Molly laughs] 1429 00:58:57,316 --> 00:59:00,232 -Okay, now... 1430 00:59:00,319 --> 00:59:01,755 Okay. 1431 00:59:01,842 --> 00:59:03,714 I have a question. 1432 00:59:03,801 --> 00:59:07,021 Why in the world did you want to become a comic? 1433 00:59:10,372 --> 00:59:11,591 -Feet. 1434 00:59:11,678 --> 00:59:14,942 -Feet? 1435 00:59:15,029 --> 00:59:17,597 -Feet. 1436 00:59:17,684 --> 00:59:19,164 [Joe laughs] 1437 00:59:19,251 --> 00:59:23,647 When I was a kid, I worked at my dad's shoe store. 1438 00:59:23,734 --> 00:59:25,953 And I realized at a young age 1439 00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:29,522 that I wanted no part of the 'foot' business. 1440 00:59:29,609 --> 00:59:32,133 -Mmm. 1441 00:59:32,220 --> 00:59:39,097 So, the foot business is the opposite of stand-up comedy? 1442 00:59:39,532 --> 00:59:41,752 -When I was 18, it was. 1443 00:59:41,839 --> 00:59:44,189 Next door to my dad's place, 1444 00:59:44,276 --> 00:59:46,844 there was this comedy club. 1445 00:59:46,931 --> 00:59:48,585 He knew the owners, 1446 00:59:48,672 --> 00:59:51,718 so he let me hang out there whenever I wanted to. 1447 00:59:51,805 --> 00:59:54,503 I spent so much time in there 1448 00:59:57,376 --> 01:00:01,380 watching the comics, 1449 01:00:01,467 --> 01:00:02,903 I couldn't get enough of it. 1450 01:00:02,990 --> 01:00:07,429 -And now you have a shot 1451 01:00:07,516 --> 01:00:08,735 at The Tonight Show. 1452 01:00:13,435 --> 01:00:16,874 Your path to fame 1453 01:00:16,961 --> 01:00:19,006 starts in Pine Lake. 1454 01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:23,532 -I don't care about fame anymore. 1455 01:00:25,883 --> 01:00:27,058 -What do you care about? 1456 01:00:27,145 --> 01:00:28,494 -Validation. 1457 01:00:29,495 --> 01:00:31,584 I wanna know that 1458 01:00:31,671 --> 01:00:37,242 sitting in smokey comedy clubs for the last 15 years, 1459 01:00:37,329 --> 01:00:39,766 drinking Jack Daniels, 1460 01:00:39,853 --> 01:00:41,072 can lead to good things. 1461 01:00:44,205 --> 01:00:47,121 [sighs] 1462 01:00:47,208 --> 01:00:48,645 -Hmm. 1463 01:00:57,610 --> 01:00:59,046 Mmm. 1464 01:01:01,179 --> 01:01:02,876 It led to good things tonight. 1465 01:01:02,963 --> 01:01:06,663 ♪ ♪ 1466 01:01:23,767 --> 01:01:27,596 ♪ ["Chief O'Neill's Favorite" traditional Celtic hornpipes] ♪ 1467 01:01:27,684 --> 01:01:29,642 ♪ [classic Celtic dance featuring violin] ♪ 1468 01:01:43,395 --> 01:01:46,398 ♪ ["King of the Fairies"] ♪ 1469 01:01:48,748 --> 01:01:51,708 ♪ [brisk, swingy Celtic dance music] ♪ 1470 01:03:17,184 --> 01:03:18,403 [jig fades out] 1471 01:03:18,490 --> 01:03:19,883 -Why, you fucker! 1472 01:03:19,970 --> 01:03:22,494 [grunting] 1473 01:03:22,581 --> 01:03:25,889 [bodily noises] 1474 01:03:25,976 --> 01:03:27,020 [exhales audibly] 1475 01:03:27,107 --> 01:03:29,109 -Oh, son of a bitch. 1476 01:03:30,154 --> 01:03:31,720 -Ugh! 1477 01:03:45,734 --> 01:03:47,214 -Oh, yeah. 1478 01:03:47,301 --> 01:03:48,694 You're going down, you little cocksucker. 1479 01:03:48,781 --> 01:03:49,869 [thwump] 1480 01:03:49,956 --> 01:03:51,088 [collapses] 1481 01:03:53,786 --> 01:03:55,875 [opens beer can] 1482 01:03:55,962 --> 01:03:57,224 [swigs beer] 1483 01:03:57,311 --> 01:03:59,618 [loud footsteps crunching on terrain] 1484 01:04:12,283 --> 01:04:14,981 -Hey! HEY! 1485 01:04:15,068 --> 01:04:17,201 You're scaring the damn deer away,assholes! 1486 01:04:20,552 --> 01:04:21,858 [rustling in background] 1487 01:04:25,557 --> 01:04:26,645 ♪ Aaii-y ♪ 1488 01:04:26,732 --> 01:04:28,168 ♪ Hey, Macarena! ♪ 1489 01:04:28,255 --> 01:04:29,953 [numerous gunshots ring out] 1490 01:04:30,040 --> 01:04:31,955 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 1491 01:04:32,042 --> 01:04:34,174 ♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría cosa buena ♪ 1492 01:04:34,261 --> 01:04:35,523 [gunfire continues] ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 1493 01:04:35,610 --> 01:04:36,829 ♪ Hey Macarena ♪ 1494 01:04:36,916 --> 01:04:38,004 [gunshots] 1495 01:04:38,091 --> 01:04:40,964 [bullets flying] 1496 01:04:41,051 --> 01:04:42,487 -Hey! Where are you guys?! 1497 01:04:42,574 --> 01:04:45,403 They're shooting at me! 1498 01:04:45,490 --> 01:04:47,579 ["Macarena" and gunshots continue] 1499 01:04:47,666 --> 01:04:49,102 Ahhh! 1500 01:04:49,189 --> 01:04:51,322 ♪ ["Macarena"] ♪ 1501 01:04:54,934 --> 01:04:56,849 [grunts] Huh. 1502 01:04:56,936 --> 01:04:58,895 [gunshots] ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 1503 01:04:58,982 --> 01:05:01,071 ♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría cosa buena ♪ 1504 01:05:01,158 --> 01:05:03,073 [gunfire continues] ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 1505 01:05:03,160 --> 01:05:05,466 ♪ Hey Macarena ♪ ♪ Aa-iiy ♪ 1506 01:05:05,553 --> 01:05:07,816 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 1507 01:05:07,904 --> 01:05:09,862 [vehicle approaching] 1508 01:05:09,949 --> 01:05:11,603 ♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría cosa buena ♪ 1509 01:05:11,690 --> 01:05:12,821 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 1510 01:05:12,909 --> 01:05:14,214 GO! Go, go, go, go, go, go!!! 1511 01:05:14,301 --> 01:05:15,824 [engine revs, accelerates] 1512 01:05:15,912 --> 01:05:17,217 [phone rings] 1513 01:05:17,304 --> 01:05:18,740 -Mr. Slugs? Yeah, Big Jake got away. 1514 01:05:18,827 --> 01:05:19,872 I don't know what happened. 1515 01:05:19,959 --> 01:05:21,047 We were shooting, and... 1516 01:05:21,134 --> 01:05:22,657 Yeah, what do you want us to do? 1517 01:05:22,744 --> 01:05:27,097 -Nothing. [snaps phone shut] 1518 01:05:27,184 --> 01:05:28,489 [sighs with exasperation] 1519 01:05:28,576 --> 01:05:31,449 [Packers game on TV in background] 1520 01:05:33,451 --> 01:05:35,061 Shit! 1521 01:05:35,148 --> 01:05:37,716 -I say you get the frick out of town, Jaker! 1522 01:05:37,803 --> 01:05:39,370 You know how these things work. 1523 01:05:39,457 --> 01:05:40,762 Somebody else will be coming right after 'em. 1524 01:05:40,849 --> 01:05:42,634 -Yeah, they got to ya in the woods. 1525 01:05:42,721 --> 01:05:44,157 And they'll probably come after you 1526 01:05:44,244 --> 01:05:46,029 tomorrow at Lambeau at the game. 1527 01:05:46,116 --> 01:05:49,684 Let's not make it easy on these I-talian fuckers! 1528 01:05:49,771 --> 01:05:51,295 -Fuck yeah, Jake. 1529 01:05:51,382 --> 01:05:53,993 Be smart now and live to fight another day. 1530 01:05:54,080 --> 01:05:55,952 We'll hold down the fort here. 1531 01:05:56,039 --> 01:05:59,085 Go see that new woman of yours and get the hell out of dodge. 1532 01:05:59,172 --> 01:06:02,567 We all talked about it, and we insist. 1533 01:06:02,654 --> 01:06:05,657 ♪ ["The Godfather Waltz"] ♪ 1534 01:06:14,971 --> 01:06:16,407 -Yah. 1535 01:06:18,931 --> 01:06:21,934 [clicks gun clip into place] 1536 01:06:26,199 --> 01:06:29,159 [garage door opens] 1537 01:06:32,640 --> 01:06:34,425 [engine starts] 1538 01:06:38,646 --> 01:06:40,953 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 1539 01:06:41,040 --> 01:06:43,173 ♪ Hey Macarena ♪ ♪ Aa-iiy ♪ 1540 01:06:45,044 --> 01:06:47,264 [starting ignition] 1541 01:06:47,351 --> 01:06:49,527 [engine starts] 1542 01:06:49,614 --> 01:06:51,920 ♪ ["We Can Live" BoDeans] ♪ ♪ Now where will you go? ♪ 1543 01:06:52,008 --> 01:06:54,401 ♪ ♪ 1544 01:06:54,488 --> 01:06:56,447 -Is he here? -I don't know. 1545 01:06:56,534 --> 01:06:58,231 I can't really remember what he looks like. 1546 01:06:58,318 --> 01:07:00,581 -Hey, you guys the comedians? 1547 01:07:00,668 --> 01:07:01,713 Oh, great. I know Ralphy. 1548 01:07:01,800 --> 01:07:03,280 -I hate to be rude, 1549 01:07:03,367 --> 01:07:04,846 but we've got a show to do in a few minutes. 1550 01:07:04,933 --> 01:07:05,760 We're both trying to prepare, so, you know. 1551 01:07:05,847 --> 01:07:07,197 -Oh, sorry to bother you. 1552 01:07:07,284 --> 01:07:08,589 Maybe we can get a beer later, huh? 1553 01:07:08,676 --> 01:07:09,982 -Yeah. [smacks Kenny's shoulder] 1554 01:07:10,069 --> 01:07:11,331 [laughs] 1555 01:07:11,418 --> 01:07:13,899 -[Man] Hey! -[Ralphy] Hey! 1556 01:07:13,986 --> 01:07:16,597 -Did you meet the guys, Harv? -Yeah, yeah, um... 1557 01:07:16,684 --> 01:07:18,643 I'll see you at the table, huh? -Okay, see you there. 1558 01:07:18,730 --> 01:07:21,515 [both laughing] 1559 01:07:21,602 --> 01:07:23,082 I told he'd come, didn't I, or no? 1560 01:07:23,169 --> 01:07:24,866 [Kenny sighs in defeat] 1561 01:07:24,953 --> 01:07:26,564 [Ralphy claps hands] We're gonna start 'er up, guys. 1562 01:07:26,651 --> 01:07:28,087 Good luck! 1563 01:07:28,174 --> 01:07:29,480 -[Kenny speaks faintly] Thanks, Ralph. 1564 01:07:29,567 --> 01:07:30,916 That was him?! -Now, wait a minute... 1565 01:07:31,003 --> 01:07:33,745 -Shhhhiiiiit! SHIT! 1566 01:07:33,832 --> 01:07:35,399 Shit... Shit! 1567 01:07:35,486 --> 01:07:37,488 [gulps drink] -[Joe] Come on! 1568 01:07:37,575 --> 01:07:40,534 ♪ ♪ 1569 01:07:43,537 --> 01:07:44,973 -Hello, there, boys. 1570 01:07:45,061 --> 01:07:46,366 -Whoa-oh, Jaker! 1571 01:07:46,453 --> 01:07:48,760 -Jaker! -Ain't this a surprise! 1572 01:07:48,847 --> 01:07:50,153 -Hi, Ralphy. 1573 01:07:50,240 --> 01:07:51,458 Well, look who's here. 1574 01:07:51,545 --> 01:07:53,156 [laughs] 1575 01:07:53,243 --> 01:07:54,635 -Well, if it ain't the best goddamn football player 1576 01:07:54,722 --> 01:07:56,333 in all of northeast Wisconsin. 1577 01:07:56,420 --> 01:07:58,074 How ya doing there, Jaker? 1578 01:07:58,161 --> 01:08:00,250 -Don't he sound like a California son of a bitch? 1579 01:08:00,337 --> 01:08:01,903 [all laugh] I'm great. 1580 01:08:01,990 --> 01:08:03,383 How's tricks, Harv? 1581 01:08:03,470 --> 01:08:04,602 -I ain't never missed a Rocktoberfest. 1582 01:08:04,689 --> 01:08:05,733 I'm not gonna start now. 1583 01:08:05,820 --> 01:08:06,952 -Yeah, right, yah! 1584 01:08:07,039 --> 01:08:08,301 -How's the consultant business? 1585 01:08:08,388 --> 01:08:10,129 -Oh, it couldn't be better. 1586 01:08:10,216 --> 01:08:12,088 Making tons of money, and getting shitloads of puss. 1587 01:08:12,175 --> 01:08:13,741 -Ah-hah! [smacking palms] 1588 01:08:13,828 --> 01:08:15,830 -I bet I'm doing better than you, Mr. Hollywood. 1589 01:08:15,917 --> 01:08:17,441 -Here you go, boys. -Oh, thanks, Lori. 1590 01:08:17,528 --> 01:08:18,572 -Thanks. 1591 01:08:18,659 --> 01:08:20,183 -[Jake] Lori! 1592 01:08:20,270 --> 01:08:22,968 -Gentlemen, to Rocktoberfest. 1593 01:08:23,055 --> 01:08:25,013 -Rocktoberfest! -All right! 1594 01:08:25,101 --> 01:08:26,580 -Rocktoberfest! 1595 01:08:26,667 --> 01:08:30,236 -[crowd chanting] D-U-G! D-U-G! D-U-G! D-U-G! 1596 01:08:30,323 --> 01:08:32,673 D-U-G! D-U-G! 1597 01:08:32,760 --> 01:08:34,240 -Hey Ralph, is Molly here tonight? 1598 01:08:34,327 --> 01:08:35,546 -Yeah, she's in the crowd somewhere. 1599 01:08:35,633 --> 01:08:36,677 -[DUG] How you doin'? 1600 01:08:36,764 --> 01:08:39,376 My name is DUG, spelled D-U-G. 1601 01:08:39,463 --> 01:08:40,551 [Ratboy claps excessively] 1602 01:08:40,638 --> 01:08:42,814 I spell my name out for you, 1603 01:08:42,901 --> 01:08:45,643 but not my material, so try and keep up. 1604 01:08:47,079 --> 01:08:48,994 [flicking lighter] 1605 01:08:49,081 --> 01:08:50,604 [inhales intentionally] 1606 01:08:50,691 --> 01:08:53,433 Let's talk about something that might make 1607 01:08:53,520 --> 01:08:55,087 everyone in the room a little uncomfortable. 1608 01:08:57,133 --> 01:08:59,004 I'm talking about rape. 1609 01:08:59,091 --> 01:09:01,311 [wheezy laugh] 1610 01:09:01,398 --> 01:09:06,098 [uncomfortable silence] 1611 01:09:06,185 --> 01:09:07,534 They say you're not supposed to rape anybody. 1612 01:09:07,621 --> 01:09:10,407 But don't animals 1613 01:09:10,494 --> 01:09:13,323 rape other animals every--single--day? 1614 01:09:13,410 --> 01:09:15,151 ♪ ♪ 1615 01:09:15,238 --> 01:09:18,110 Hey, I didn't come up here to smash watermelons, okay? 1616 01:09:18,197 --> 01:09:19,633 [engine racing] 1617 01:09:19,720 --> 01:09:21,592 ♪ Shake that thing ♪ 1618 01:09:21,679 --> 01:09:24,247 ♪ ♪ 1619 01:09:24,334 --> 01:09:25,552 [boot clicks on step] 1620 01:09:25,639 --> 01:09:26,988 And there wouldn't be no squirrels. 1621 01:09:27,075 --> 01:09:28,381 Why don't they ever talk about that? 1622 01:09:28,468 --> 01:09:29,817 What about when a woman rapes a man? 1623 01:09:29,904 --> 01:09:31,297 That's what society says. Maybe I'm wrong. 1624 01:09:31,384 --> 01:09:32,733 [in surly tone] I don't get to vote... 1625 01:09:32,820 --> 01:09:34,039 'cause I'm not registered to vote. 1626 01:09:34,126 --> 01:09:35,214 I'm asking you. 1627 01:09:35,301 --> 01:09:36,389 Fucked up, if you ask me. 1628 01:09:36,476 --> 01:09:37,869 I like pad ga pow. 1629 01:09:37,956 --> 01:09:38,957 Doesn't mean I have to like Indians. 1630 01:09:39,044 --> 01:09:40,611 [DUG] Okay, it's over now. 1631 01:09:40,698 --> 01:09:41,742 Joe Keegan, everybody. 1632 01:09:41,829 --> 01:09:44,092 [cheers and applause] 1633 01:09:44,180 --> 01:09:45,572 -Hey, thanks a lot. 1634 01:09:45,659 --> 01:09:47,313 How about another hand for DUG, D-U-G! 1635 01:09:48,358 --> 01:09:51,056 D-U-G, 'cause you gotta have a hook. 1636 01:09:51,143 --> 01:09:52,362 [Jeremy alone continues clapping] 1637 01:09:52,449 --> 01:09:53,580 Great to finally be in Wisconsin. 1638 01:09:53,667 --> 01:09:55,060 I just had the worst week. 1639 01:09:55,147 --> 01:09:56,714 I almost had my nose broken at a show. 1640 01:09:56,801 --> 01:09:58,455 I was really depressed driving out here... 1641 01:09:58,542 --> 01:10:00,892 untilI saw this billboard thatsaid, 1642 01:10:00,979 --> 01:10:04,025 "Need a lift? Call on Jesus." 1643 01:10:04,112 --> 01:10:06,332 Yeah. [audience laughs] 1644 01:10:06,419 --> 01:10:08,508 There was a phone number. 1645 01:10:08,595 --> 01:10:10,249 Like I'm gonna get right through, you know. 1646 01:10:10,336 --> 01:10:12,338 So I called it anyway. 1647 01:10:12,425 --> 01:10:14,471 And I'm ready to give this hypocrite a piece of my mind. 1648 01:10:15,515 --> 01:10:16,995 Twenty minutes later, 1649 01:10:17,082 --> 01:10:18,562 some Latino guy shows up with a tow truck! 1650 01:10:18,649 --> 01:10:23,567 [laughter] 1651 01:10:29,399 --> 01:10:31,227 Yeah, it worked out pretty well. 1652 01:10:31,314 --> 01:10:34,012 Not only did he fix my car, he cured my leprosy. 1653 01:10:34,099 --> 01:10:38,277 [laughter] 1654 01:10:38,364 --> 01:10:40,148 That's a great deal for $50. 1655 01:10:40,236 --> 01:10:42,020 [laughter] 1656 01:10:42,107 --> 01:10:44,849 Now, I know there's a big game this weekend. 1657 01:10:44,936 --> 01:10:48,200 Everybody's all excited, but you know, as far as I'm concerned-- 1658 01:10:48,287 --> 01:10:50,942 -[Jaker heckles] Bears suck! 1659 01:10:52,117 --> 01:10:57,383 -Yeah, that sort of seems to be the consensus around here. 1660 01:10:57,470 --> 01:10:59,124 -[Jaker] You know they fucking suck! 1661 01:11:00,473 --> 01:11:01,953 They ain't gonna win nothin' tomorrow! 1662 01:11:02,040 --> 01:11:03,650 -Come on, Jake, keep it down. 1663 01:11:03,737 --> 01:11:05,609 -I thought he was supposed to be a professional. 1664 01:11:07,350 --> 01:11:09,265 -Come on, Keegan, don't fuck it up. 1665 01:11:13,704 --> 01:11:15,662 -Yeah, I heard you, sir. 1666 01:11:15,749 --> 01:11:17,403 I did hear that. 1667 01:11:17,490 --> 01:11:19,057 And just for the record, that was two double negatives, 1668 01:11:19,144 --> 01:11:21,886 which actually means the Bears ARE going to win. 1669 01:11:21,973 --> 01:11:25,019 So, I think if you're going to be the one to go on record, 1670 01:11:25,106 --> 01:11:27,457 you should at least learn the nuts and bolts of the language 1671 01:11:27,544 --> 01:11:30,764 to better support your hypothesis, Professor Dumb Ass! 1672 01:11:30,851 --> 01:11:32,766 [laughter] 1673 01:11:32,853 --> 01:11:34,377 -Whoa! 1674 01:11:34,464 --> 01:11:35,900 -Whoo-hoo! 1675 01:11:35,987 --> 01:11:39,382 [applause] 1676 01:11:41,819 --> 01:11:43,255 -That a boy, Joe. 1677 01:11:43,342 --> 01:11:45,431 -Shut the fuck up. 1678 01:11:45,518 --> 01:11:48,173 So what are you gonna do about it, dicklick?! 1679 01:11:48,260 --> 01:11:49,348 Eh? 1680 01:11:49,435 --> 01:11:50,871 [Joe laughs] 1681 01:11:50,958 --> 01:11:54,788 ♪ ♪ 1682 01:11:54,875 --> 01:11:58,314 Eh?! 1683 01:11:58,401 --> 01:12:00,925 What are you gonna do about it, dicklick?! 1684 01:12:01,012 --> 01:12:02,405 -Hello, boys. 1685 01:12:02,492 --> 01:12:04,058 Listen to me, you mutt, 1686 01:12:04,145 --> 01:12:06,713 this is the only time I'm gonna ask you nicely. 1687 01:12:06,800 --> 01:12:07,888 Shut the fuck up. 1688 01:12:07,975 --> 01:12:11,152 ♪ ♪ 1689 01:12:11,239 --> 01:12:13,546 -Yah? 1690 01:12:13,633 --> 01:12:16,288 Or what? 1691 01:12:17,463 --> 01:12:18,551 -Whoa! 1692 01:12:18,638 --> 01:12:19,726 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1693 01:12:19,813 --> 01:12:20,901 Take 'er easy, pal. 1694 01:12:20,988 --> 01:12:22,250 We don't want any trouble. 1695 01:12:22,338 --> 01:12:23,948 Everybody, just relax, calm down. 1696 01:12:24,035 --> 01:12:26,385 -You tell this ape to let the man do his show, 1697 01:12:26,472 --> 01:12:28,300 and there won't be any trouble. 1698 01:12:28,387 --> 01:12:30,433 -Calm down. Both of youz guys, just relax. 1699 01:12:30,520 --> 01:12:32,435 We don't want any trouble. 1700 01:12:32,522 --> 01:12:34,262 I mean it! 1701 01:12:34,350 --> 01:12:36,961 -I'm going to the can. 1702 01:12:37,048 --> 01:12:38,832 -That's a great idea. 1703 01:12:38,919 --> 01:12:42,096 ♪ ♪ 1704 01:12:42,183 --> 01:12:44,360 -[Joe] Oh, going to write your number on the men's room wall? 1705 01:12:44,447 --> 01:12:47,319 "For a good time, DON'T NOT call dumbass, 555-..." 1706 01:12:47,406 --> 01:12:50,496 [laughter] [Ralphy blocks Jake] 1707 01:12:50,583 --> 01:12:52,368 ...dumb D-U-M. 1708 01:12:52,455 --> 01:12:53,630 [laughter] 1709 01:12:53,717 --> 01:12:54,935 Hey, you guys have been great. 1710 01:12:55,022 --> 01:12:56,328 Thanks a lot... 1711 01:12:59,026 --> 01:13:03,596 -[DUG] Okay, let's keep it going for Kenny Caruso! 1712 01:13:03,683 --> 01:13:05,598 -[Car radio] Pine Lake Parents Against Drugs 1713 01:13:05,685 --> 01:13:07,513 would like you to hear the following anti-drug statement: 1714 01:13:07,600 --> 01:13:09,820 Timmy got mixed up with the wrong bunch of boys. 1715 01:13:09,907 --> 01:13:11,212 [Arthur exhales] 1716 01:13:11,299 --> 01:13:12,388 ♪ ♪ 1717 01:13:12,475 --> 01:13:14,172 -So how should we play it? 1718 01:13:14,259 --> 01:13:15,739 -I don't know. 1719 01:13:15,826 --> 01:13:17,393 Don't you think, if he liked us, he'd approach us? 1720 01:13:17,480 --> 01:13:19,003 -Who's that? -Harvey Skorik. 1721 01:13:19,090 --> 01:13:20,961 -Oh, The Tonight Showguy? 1722 01:13:22,049 --> 01:13:24,138 -You knew he was here? 1723 01:13:24,225 --> 01:13:25,401 -Yeah, Jeremy told me. 1724 01:13:25,488 --> 01:13:26,880 -And you still did that act?!? 1725 01:13:26,967 --> 01:13:28,055 ♪["'69 Blues" by the BoDeans]♪ 1726 01:13:28,142 --> 01:13:29,535 -The truth is the truth, man. 1727 01:13:29,622 --> 01:13:31,450 -That's true! 1728 01:13:31,537 --> 01:13:33,974 I'm impressed, D-U-G. -I'm too nervous. 1729 01:13:34,061 --> 01:13:36,586 I've got to take a squirt. -I'll 10-4 that, I am there. 1730 01:13:36,673 --> 01:13:38,283 I've got to whiz like a chimp. 1731 01:13:38,370 --> 01:13:42,113 ♪ Loneliness on the rise ♪ 1732 01:13:42,200 --> 01:13:43,506 -Joe. -Hey! 1733 01:13:43,593 --> 01:13:44,811 -You were excellent. -Really? 1734 01:13:44,898 --> 01:13:46,857 -Yes. 1735 01:13:46,944 --> 01:13:48,467 -Hey... 1736 01:13:48,554 --> 01:13:50,382 Man of the hour. 1737 01:13:50,469 --> 01:13:52,079 How you doing? -What's your problem? 1738 01:13:52,166 --> 01:13:53,733 -You're good, you know that? -Thank you very much. 1739 01:13:53,820 --> 01:13:55,561 Thanks for saying so. 1740 01:13:55,648 --> 01:13:57,084 -I think we should go outside and take a little walk. 1741 01:13:57,171 --> 01:13:58,695 -I don't think so, thank you anyway. 1742 01:13:58,782 --> 01:13:59,826 -Yah, let's go. 1743 01:13:59,913 --> 01:14:01,175 Come on. 1744 01:14:01,262 --> 01:14:02,786 Friends. 1745 01:14:02,873 --> 01:14:06,659 Let's go out, have a little chat in the moonlight. 1746 01:14:06,746 --> 01:14:08,356 -Take it easy. 1747 01:14:08,444 --> 01:14:10,924 ♪ She drives me crazy ♪ 1748 01:14:11,011 --> 01:14:12,578 -How could you do dis to me? 1749 01:14:12,665 --> 01:14:14,885 -Jake, I didn't mean to mislead you, 1750 01:14:14,972 --> 01:14:16,539 but it was only a couple of dates. 1751 01:14:16,626 --> 01:14:17,888 -Yah? 1752 01:14:17,975 --> 01:14:19,846 Maybe that's all it was to you. 1753 01:14:19,933 --> 01:14:21,457 -Ugh! -Oh! 1754 01:14:21,544 --> 01:14:23,197 Oh, geez! 1755 01:14:23,284 --> 01:14:25,983 -I'm so glad it's you she's with, you little shit! 1756 01:14:26,070 --> 01:14:28,812 [police radio dispatch chatter] 1757 01:14:28,899 --> 01:14:30,030 -[Molly] What are you doing?!? 1758 01:14:30,117 --> 01:14:31,989 Are you out of your mind? 1759 01:14:32,076 --> 01:14:34,861 -Yeah, you're not so tough when you're not on stage, are ya? 1760 01:14:34,948 --> 01:14:36,297 Hey? 1761 01:14:36,384 --> 01:14:37,690 [zip] 1762 01:14:37,777 --> 01:14:39,866 [water running] 1763 01:14:42,347 --> 01:14:43,740 [Sheriff sputters, coughs] 1764 01:14:43,827 --> 01:14:45,742 -And Let's see how funny ya are 1765 01:14:45,829 --> 01:14:48,048 when I dump you in Green Bay with a big rock attached to ya. 1766 01:14:48,135 --> 01:14:50,268 -Dude, what's your problem? 1767 01:14:50,355 --> 01:14:51,443 -Sometimes it takes me a while, 1768 01:14:51,530 --> 01:14:53,010 especially after a big show. 1769 01:14:53,097 --> 01:14:54,228 -I'm sorry! 1770 01:14:54,315 --> 01:14:55,926 -No. 1771 01:14:56,013 --> 01:14:58,363 -[Arthur] Oh, shit! Shit! 1772 01:14:58,450 --> 01:15:01,366 -You had your chance with Big Jake. 1773 01:15:01,453 --> 01:15:03,107 So long, Mr. Microphone. 1774 01:15:03,194 --> 01:15:04,500 -Put your weapon on the ground! 1775 01:15:05,544 --> 01:15:07,807 Do it, boy, I'm a good shot! 1776 01:15:07,894 --> 01:15:08,982 -Arthur! 1777 01:15:09,069 --> 01:15:10,331 It's Big Jake Norquist, 1778 01:15:10,418 --> 01:15:12,377 the Godfather of Green Bay. 1779 01:15:12,464 --> 01:15:14,118 -Holy shit! No kiddin'? 1780 01:15:14,205 --> 01:15:15,815 I thought you looked familiar. 1781 01:15:15,902 --> 01:15:18,078 You were one hell of a football player. 1782 01:15:18,165 --> 01:15:19,602 -Yah, thanks. 1783 01:15:19,689 --> 01:15:21,429 -Too bad! 1784 01:15:21,517 --> 01:15:23,301 You picked the wrong night to break the law in my town. 1785 01:15:23,388 --> 01:15:25,564 Turn around and put your hands on top of your head. 1786 01:15:25,651 --> 01:15:27,392 [toilet flushes] 1787 01:15:27,479 --> 01:15:32,179 ♪ Whoo-ooo, whoo ♪ 1788 01:15:32,266 --> 01:15:35,313 ♪ [chase music] ♪ 1789 01:15:39,665 --> 01:15:41,928 -I should beat the crap out of you! 1790 01:15:44,278 --> 01:15:46,280 You're lucky I liked that big suspender thing 1791 01:15:46,367 --> 01:15:48,152 you did in there. 1792 01:15:48,239 --> 01:15:49,457 You know, when you did the thing with... 1793 01:15:49,545 --> 01:15:50,981 -Ugh! 1794 01:15:51,068 --> 01:15:52,417 -Oh! 1795 01:15:52,504 --> 01:15:54,941 Nooo!! 1796 01:15:55,028 --> 01:15:57,509 -I shoulda done this when you were on stage. 1797 01:15:58,075 --> 01:15:59,816 -Ugh! 1798 01:16:02,035 --> 01:16:06,083 -Hey, suck-hole, [laughs darkly] you remember me? 1799 01:16:06,170 --> 01:16:07,911 -Ugh! 1800 01:16:07,998 --> 01:16:09,086 -How you doin', Joe? 1801 01:16:09,173 --> 01:16:10,522 -Chuck Martinelli? 1802 01:16:10,609 --> 01:16:13,264 ♪ [funky synthesizer music] ♪ 1803 01:16:13,351 --> 01:16:14,744 -God, Mrs. Mahoney! 1804 01:16:14,831 --> 01:16:16,006 -[Molly] Ah... 1805 01:16:16,093 --> 01:16:18,530 Oh, hi. [gasping] -How you been? 1806 01:16:18,617 --> 01:16:19,705 Good to see you. 1807 01:16:19,792 --> 01:16:20,880 -[breathily] Yeah! 1808 01:16:20,967 --> 01:16:23,013 -Ugh...! 1809 01:16:23,100 --> 01:16:25,798 -Hey, Sheriff, keep an eye on him for me, will ya? 1810 01:16:25,885 --> 01:16:26,843 Come here, you. 1811 01:16:26,930 --> 01:16:28,148 How you been? 1812 01:16:28,235 --> 01:16:30,194 -Oh! -What in-- 1813 01:16:30,281 --> 01:16:31,804 Fuck me! 1814 01:16:31,891 --> 01:16:33,414 -I look at the marquee and went, "No way!" 1815 01:16:33,501 --> 01:16:35,721 How long you been a comedian? -A long time. 1816 01:16:35,808 --> 01:16:36,983 -Ugh...! 1817 01:16:37,070 --> 01:16:38,158 -I'm not surprised. 1818 01:16:38,245 --> 01:16:39,551 You used to love this shit. 1819 01:16:39,638 --> 01:16:41,509 -Chuck, what are you doing here? 1820 01:16:41,597 --> 01:16:44,077 -Well I figured you needed me to save your ass again. [laughing] 1821 01:16:44,164 --> 01:16:45,905 -You were right. 1822 01:16:45,992 --> 01:16:48,691 -You uh, you gonna go for it with Mrs. Mahoney, Keegan? 1823 01:16:48,778 --> 01:16:50,518 [Joe and Chuck laugh] You lucky bastard. 1824 01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:51,824 -Ugh! 1825 01:16:51,911 --> 01:16:52,999 -Hey, Sheriff! Sheriff, Sheriff! 1826 01:16:53,086 --> 01:16:54,740 Take it easy on him, all right? 1827 01:16:54,827 --> 01:16:57,961 You can't bury the guy alive if he's already dead. 1828 01:16:58,048 --> 01:16:59,963 [laughs] 1829 01:17:00,050 --> 01:17:01,138 -It's okay. 1830 01:17:01,225 --> 01:17:02,792 I know you're not a cop. 1831 01:17:02,879 --> 01:17:04,358 It's cool. 1832 01:17:04,445 --> 01:17:05,969 You gonna give him the old acid treatment? 1833 01:17:06,056 --> 01:17:07,361 [Chuck scoffs] 1834 01:17:07,448 --> 01:17:09,233 -No, I tell you what, you take him in. 1835 01:17:09,320 --> 01:17:10,626 -Okie-doke! 1836 01:17:10,713 --> 01:17:13,193 Thanks! -What can I say? 1837 01:17:13,280 --> 01:17:15,674 Cops got to him first. 1838 01:17:15,761 --> 01:17:17,067 I'll see you around, Keegan. 1839 01:17:17,154 --> 01:17:19,243 -All right, Chuck, you take care. 1840 01:17:19,330 --> 01:17:22,594 -You ain't seen the last of Big Jake Norquist! 1841 01:17:22,681 --> 01:17:23,769 -[Joe] Yah? 1842 01:17:23,856 --> 01:17:25,684 -YAH! -Yah? 1843 01:17:25,771 --> 01:17:26,990 -YAH!! 1844 01:17:27,077 --> 01:17:28,208 -Yah... 1845 01:17:30,384 --> 01:17:33,257 -Uh, bye, Chuck. 1846 01:17:33,344 --> 01:17:34,954 -Bye, Mrs. Mahoney. 1847 01:17:37,130 --> 01:17:39,219 -What the fuck? 1848 01:17:39,306 --> 01:17:41,178 Are you okay? -[Molly] Oh! 1849 01:17:41,265 --> 01:17:43,223 ♪ ♪ 1850 01:17:45,269 --> 01:17:47,663 -[Kenny] You're my hero! 1851 01:17:48,838 --> 01:17:50,753 -Hey, there he is. 1852 01:17:50,840 --> 01:17:52,363 -Hey, Harvey. 1853 01:17:52,450 --> 01:17:54,582 -I love coming home. 1854 01:17:54,670 --> 01:17:57,063 Old friends, familiar places. 1855 01:17:57,150 --> 01:17:59,457 Hey, great show tonight. 1856 01:17:59,544 --> 01:18:00,763 -Thanks. 1857 01:18:00,850 --> 01:18:02,634 -You really handled that heckler. 1858 01:18:02,721 --> 01:18:04,767 I can tell you've been around for a while. 1859 01:18:04,854 --> 01:18:07,073 -I have. 1860 01:18:07,160 --> 01:18:09,510 -So, 1861 01:18:09,597 --> 01:18:12,426 how'd you like to come on The Tonight Show? 1862 01:18:12,513 --> 01:18:16,517 ♪ ♪ 1863 01:18:16,604 --> 01:18:18,171 - The Tonight Show? 1864 01:18:18,258 --> 01:18:19,869 - The Tonight Show. 1865 01:18:19,956 --> 01:18:22,436 -Hey! Dere he is! 1866 01:18:22,523 --> 01:18:24,177 -Ralph! [high five] -Hey! 1867 01:18:24,264 --> 01:18:25,309 Harv told me the news. 1868 01:18:25,396 --> 01:18:26,745 Congrats! 1869 01:18:26,832 --> 01:18:28,312 -Ralph, thank you so much! 1870 01:18:28,399 --> 01:18:30,967 I know you didn't even know who I was. 1871 01:18:31,054 --> 01:18:32,533 I can't thank you enough. 1872 01:18:32,620 --> 01:18:35,711 -Don't thank me. Thank Caruso. 1873 01:18:35,798 --> 01:18:37,582 We usually only do a two-man show here. 1874 01:18:37,669 --> 01:18:38,975 It was just gonna be DUG and him, 1875 01:18:39,062 --> 01:18:40,977 but he insisted I let you come, too. 1876 01:18:41,064 --> 01:18:43,675 He said, "Split the hotel, the money, whatever you gotta do, 1877 01:18:43,762 --> 01:18:46,983 but I ain't coming unless Joe comes with." 1878 01:18:47,070 --> 01:18:51,074 [crickets chirping] 1879 01:18:51,161 --> 01:18:52,553 -Hey, man. 1880 01:18:52,640 --> 01:18:54,033 -Hey. 1881 01:18:56,732 --> 01:19:01,519 -I got The Tonight Show. 1882 01:19:01,606 --> 01:19:02,650 -Well, it's about time. 1883 01:19:02,738 --> 01:19:05,218 -You're telling me. 1884 01:19:05,305 --> 01:19:07,786 You talk to Harvey? 1885 01:19:07,873 --> 01:19:09,135 And? 1886 01:19:09,222 --> 01:19:11,224 -And he said, 1887 01:19:12,312 --> 01:19:13,792 "It's a tough thing with the prop acts, you know." 1888 01:19:13,879 --> 01:19:16,447 They don't really need another one right now. 1889 01:19:16,534 --> 01:19:20,451 So, I guess unless something happens to Carrot Top... 1890 01:19:20,538 --> 01:19:22,453 [Joe laughs] 1891 01:19:22,540 --> 01:19:24,542 I don't know. 1892 01:19:25,761 --> 01:19:27,719 [train whistle, highway traffic in background] 1893 01:19:27,806 --> 01:19:30,330 -Ralph told me what you did, Ken. 1894 01:19:30,417 --> 01:19:32,332 Thank you. I owe you one. 1895 01:19:32,419 --> 01:19:35,379 -I didn't do anything, and you don't owe me anything, Keegan. 1896 01:19:35,466 --> 01:19:38,556 I needed someone to ride with. 1897 01:19:38,643 --> 01:19:41,602 -Well, I'm glad it was me. 1898 01:19:41,689 --> 01:19:43,691 -Me, too. 1899 01:19:43,779 --> 01:19:48,174 ♪ ♪ 1900 01:19:48,261 --> 01:19:49,393 You want to kiss me? 1901 01:19:49,480 --> 01:19:51,090 A little smooch? [laughs] 1902 01:19:51,177 --> 01:19:52,483 I need a drink. 1903 01:19:53,832 --> 01:19:55,181 -[DUG] Guys! 1904 01:19:55,268 --> 01:19:56,530 -Hey. 1905 01:19:56,617 --> 01:19:57,967 -I'm talking off. 1906 01:19:58,054 --> 01:19:59,925 I just wanted to say goodbye. 1907 01:20:00,012 --> 01:20:02,145 No hard feelings? -No hard feelings. 1908 01:20:02,232 --> 01:20:04,277 -So, I guess I'll see you guys in L.A.! 1909 01:20:04,364 --> 01:20:06,236 -What? 1910 01:20:06,323 --> 01:20:07,803 -I was schmoozing with Harvey, and he says--check it out-- 1911 01:20:07,890 --> 01:20:10,196 he wants me to stay in touch. 1912 01:20:10,283 --> 01:20:12,242 I'm moving like ASAP. 1913 01:20:12,329 --> 01:20:14,592 The booker from The Tonight Show wants me to stay in touch, man! 1914 01:20:14,679 --> 01:20:16,812 [laughing with emotion] 1915 01:20:16,899 --> 01:20:18,596 I'll never forget this, man! 1916 01:20:18,683 --> 01:20:19,945 -[Kenny] D-U-G. 1917 01:20:20,032 --> 01:20:21,642 -I'll see you guys. 1918 01:20:25,516 --> 01:20:26,909 [DUG screams] The Tonight Show! 1919 01:20:26,996 --> 01:20:28,258 [pounds on door] 1920 01:20:30,086 --> 01:20:32,958 -[Skeeter] So I said, "Man, fuck that, 1921 01:20:33,045 --> 01:20:34,742 I drink for a living... 1922 01:20:34,830 --> 01:20:37,006 [women laugh hysterically] 1923 01:20:37,093 --> 01:20:39,530 ♪ ["Fallen" by the BoDeans] ♪ ♪ I pretend I'm moving forward♪ 1924 01:20:39,617 --> 01:20:42,315 ♪ 'Cuz I'm making due ♪ 1925 01:20:42,402 --> 01:20:45,841 ♪ And I believe I've fallen, fallen ♪ 1926 01:20:45,928 --> 01:20:50,062 ♪ Fallen for you ♪ 1927 01:20:50,149 --> 01:20:54,023 ♪ 'Cuz I believe I've fallen, fallen ♪ 1928 01:20:54,110 --> 01:20:56,242 ♪ Fallen for you ♪ 1929 01:20:56,329 --> 01:20:57,896 [applause] 1930 01:20:57,983 --> 01:21:00,551 ♪ ["The Tonight Show" music] ♪ 1931 01:21:06,078 --> 01:21:09,865 -Hey, you've got five minutes. 1932 01:21:09,952 --> 01:21:11,257 This crowd is hot. 1933 01:21:11,344 --> 01:21:12,955 I've got 'em all warmed up for ya. 1934 01:21:13,042 --> 01:21:14,826 -Yeah, they sound great. 1935 01:21:14,913 --> 01:21:16,828 -I'm loving this audience warm-up gig, dude. 1936 01:21:16,915 --> 01:21:19,918 I made like two months' rent in a week. 1937 01:21:20,745 --> 01:21:23,226 You're gonna kill. [gentle smack] 1938 01:21:23,313 --> 01:21:24,662 [knock on door] -Hey, listen, Joe. 1939 01:21:24,749 --> 01:21:25,837 I'm gonna have to bump you. 1940 01:21:25,924 --> 01:21:27,447 Higgins just got his own sitcom, 1941 01:21:27,534 --> 01:21:29,058 and Jay wants to keep him for another segment. 1942 01:21:29,145 --> 01:21:30,886 But we're gonna have you back in a month, okay? 1943 01:21:30,973 --> 01:21:32,278 -Wait a minute, what-- -Thanks, buddy. 1944 01:21:32,365 --> 01:21:33,801 [scoffs] 1945 01:21:38,371 --> 01:21:41,418 ♪ ♪ 1946 01:21:44,464 --> 01:21:46,118 -[Joe] I don't know, folks, 1947 01:21:46,205 --> 01:21:47,815 we've just got to relax, you know, this society. 1948 01:21:47,903 --> 01:21:49,556 There's so much hate in the world. 1949 01:21:49,643 --> 01:21:51,645 I don't know where it comes from, either, you know? 1950 01:21:51,732 --> 01:21:54,344 What the fuck are you looking at? [laughter] 1951 01:21:54,431 --> 01:21:56,607 There's two things I know for sure. 1952 01:21:56,694 --> 01:21:59,218 One, I love being a comic. 1953 01:21:59,305 --> 01:22:02,613 And two, paying your dues isn't so bad. 1954 01:22:04,354 --> 01:22:06,791 The great thing about this job is: 1955 01:22:06,878 --> 01:22:08,619 you can do it just about anywhere. 1956 01:22:08,706 --> 01:22:10,577 ♪ ♪ 1957 01:22:15,931 --> 01:22:18,281 ♪ ♪ 1958 01:22:32,338 --> 01:22:34,775 ♪ ["Macarena"] ♪ ♪ [woman laughing] ♪ 1959 01:22:34,862 --> 01:22:37,213 ♪ Aay-oh! ♪ 1960 01:22:37,300 --> 01:22:39,171 ♪ Aay-oh ♪ ♪ Aa-iiy ♪ 1961 01:22:39,258 --> 01:22:46,222 ♪ Aay-oh, aay oh ♪ 1962 01:22:47,527 --> 01:22:48,876 ♪ Aa-iiy ♪ [woman laughing] 1963 01:22:48,964 --> 01:22:52,880 ♪ Ay-oh ♪ [woman laughing] 1964 01:22:52,968 --> 01:22:56,623 ♪ Ay-oh ♪ 1965 01:22:56,710 --> 01:22:58,408 ♪ Aa-iiy ♪ 1966 01:22:58,495 --> 01:23:00,105 ♪ When I dance they call me Macarena ♪ 1967 01:23:00,192 --> 01:23:02,455 ♪ And the boys they say que soy buena ♪ 1968 01:23:02,542 --> 01:23:04,805 ♪ They all want me ♪ ♪ They can't have me ♪ 1969 01:23:04,892 --> 01:23:06,894 ♪ So they all come and dance beside me ♪ 1970 01:23:06,982 --> 01:23:09,506 ♪ Move with me ♪ ♪ Chant with me ♪ 1971 01:23:09,593 --> 01:23:11,856 ♪ And if you're good, I'll take you home with me ♪ 1972 01:23:11,943 --> 01:23:13,640 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 1973 01:23:13,727 --> 01:23:14,815 -[Skeeter] Come on dere, people! 1974 01:23:14,902 --> 01:23:16,600 It's time to kick it! 1975 01:23:16,687 --> 01:23:18,689 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena ♪ 1976 01:23:18,776 --> 01:23:20,082 ♪ Hey Macarena ♪ 1977 01:23:20,169 --> 01:23:21,866 ♪ Aa-iiy ♪ 1978 01:23:21,953 --> 01:23:23,868 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena♪ 1979 01:23:23,955 --> 01:23:25,609 ♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría cosa buena ♪ 1980 01:23:25,696 --> 01:23:27,611 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena ♪ 1981 01:23:27,698 --> 01:23:29,308 ♪ Hey Macarena ♪ 1982 01:23:29,395 --> 01:23:31,093 ♪ Aa-iiy ♪ 1983 01:23:31,180 --> 01:23:33,051 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 1984 01:23:33,138 --> 01:23:34,792 ♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría cosa buena♪ 1985 01:23:34,879 --> 01:23:36,968 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena ♪ 1986 01:23:37,055 --> 01:23:38,578 ♪ Hey Macarena ♪ 1987 01:23:38,665 --> 01:23:40,363 ♪ Aa-iiy ♪ 1988 01:23:40,450 --> 01:23:42,365 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 1989 01:23:42,452 --> 01:23:44,106 ♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría cosa buena ♪ 1990 01:23:44,193 --> 01:23:46,543 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 1991 01:23:46,630 --> 01:23:48,023 ♪ Hey Macarena ♪ 1992 01:23:48,110 --> 01:23:49,198 ♪ Aa-iiy ♪ 1993 01:23:49,285 --> 01:23:54,551 ♪ Ay-oh, ay-oh ♪ 1994 01:23:54,638 --> 01:23:58,163 ♪ Aa-iiy ♪ 1995 01:23:58,250 --> 01:24:00,470 ♪ Come and find me, my name is Macarena ♪ 1996 01:24:00,557 --> 01:24:02,559 ♪ Always at the party con las chicas que son buena ♪ 1997 01:24:02,646 --> 01:24:05,475 ♪ Come join me, dance with me ♪ 1998 01:24:05,562 --> 01:24:07,433 ♪ And all you fellows chant along with me ♪ 1999 01:24:07,520 --> 01:24:09,696 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 2000 01:24:09,783 --> 01:24:12,047 ♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría cosa buena ♪ 2001 01:24:12,134 --> 01:24:14,266 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 2002 01:24:14,353 --> 01:24:15,746 ♪ Hey Macarena ♪ 2003 01:24:15,833 --> 01:24:17,574 ♪ Aa-iiy ♪ 2004 01:24:17,661 --> 01:24:19,576 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 2005 01:24:19,663 --> 01:24:21,317 ♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría cosa buena ♪ 2006 01:24:21,404 --> 01:24:23,449 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 2007 01:24:23,536 --> 01:24:25,234 ♪ Hey Macarena ♪ 2008 01:24:25,321 --> 01:24:27,018 ♪ Aa-iiy ♪ 2009 01:24:27,105 --> 01:24:28,846 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 2010 01:24:28,933 --> 01:24:30,630 ♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría cosa buena ♪ 2011 01:24:30,717 --> 01:24:32,676 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 2012 01:24:32,763 --> 01:24:34,330 ♪ Hey Macarena ♪ 2013 01:24:34,417 --> 01:24:36,158 ♪ Aa-iiy ♪ 2014 01:24:36,245 --> 01:24:38,160 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 2015 01:24:38,247 --> 01:24:39,900 ♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría cosa buena ♪ 2016 01:24:39,987 --> 01:24:42,033 ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena ♪ 2017 01:24:42,120 --> 01:24:44,688 -Do it! [frustrated sigh] ♪ Hey Macarena ♪ 2018 01:24:44,775 --> 01:24:46,168 ♪ Hey Macarena ♪ 2019 01:24:46,255 --> 01:24:47,560 ♪ Aa-iiy ♪ 2020 01:24:47,647 --> 01:24:52,087 ♪ ["My Oh My" by the BoDeans] ♪ 2021 01:24:53,827 --> 01:24:55,481 ♪ Yeah... ♪ 2022 01:24:55,568 --> 01:24:56,917 ♪ Say... ♪ 2023 01:24:57,004 --> 01:24:58,702 ♪ Doo doo doo doo du doo ♪ 2024 01:24:58,789 --> 01:25:01,096 ♪ Doo doo doo doo du doo ♪ 2025 01:25:01,183 --> 01:25:04,099 ♪ My, oh my, we sure in love ♪ 2026 01:25:05,796 --> 01:25:07,580 ♪ Easy, easy, baby, now ♪ 2027 01:25:07,667 --> 01:25:10,148 ♪ I know that this could take all night ♪ 2028 01:25:10,235 --> 01:25:13,151 ♪ So let's not pretend to hide our feelings ♪ 2029 01:25:13,238 --> 01:25:14,892 ♪ It's good at night ♪ 2030 01:25:14,979 --> 01:25:16,894 ♪ Time and time again ♪ 2031 01:25:16,981 --> 01:25:19,026 ♪ I've seen all people trying to play it cool ♪ 2032 01:25:19,114 --> 01:25:20,202 ♪ They falter ♪ 2033 01:25:20,289 --> 01:25:21,464 ♪ They fall down ♪ 2034 01:25:21,551 --> 01:25:23,640 ♪ And forget that golden rule ♪ 2035 01:25:23,727 --> 01:25:25,816 ♪ Are you hearing what they're saying ♪ 2036 01:25:25,903 --> 01:25:28,079 ♪ See the game they're playing ♪ 2037 01:25:28,166 --> 01:25:30,473 ♪ My, oh my, we sure in love ♪ 2038 01:25:30,560 --> 01:25:32,692 ♪ Two people in the name of love ♪ 2039 01:25:32,779 --> 01:25:34,912 ♪ Happiness and glory ♪ 2040 01:25:34,999 --> 01:25:37,262 ♪ Sentimental story ♪ 2041 01:25:37,349 --> 01:25:39,482 ♪ My, oh my, we sure in love ♪ 2042 01:25:39,569 --> 01:25:41,832 ♪ Two people in the name of love ♪ 2043 01:25:41,919 --> 01:25:43,921 ♪ My, oh my, we sure in love ♪ 2044 01:25:44,008 --> 01:25:46,532 ♪ Two people in the name of love ♪ 2045 01:25:55,802 --> 01:25:57,500 ♪ Are you hearing what they're saying ♪ 2046 01:25:57,587 --> 01:26:00,067 ♪ See the game they're playing ♪ 2047 01:26:00,155 --> 01:26:02,113 ♪ My, oh my, we sure in love ♪ 2048 01:26:02,200 --> 01:26:04,376 ♪ Two people in the name of love ♪ 2049 01:26:04,463 --> 01:26:06,639 ♪ Are you hearing what they're saying ♪ 2050 01:26:06,726 --> 01:26:09,120 ♪ See the game they're playing ♪ 2051 01:26:09,207 --> 01:26:11,166 ♪ My, oh my, we sure in love ♪ 2052 01:26:11,253 --> 01:26:13,429 ♪ Two people in the name of love ♪ 2053 01:26:13,516 --> 01:26:15,648 ♪ Happiness and glory ♪ 2054 01:26:15,735 --> 01:26:17,476 ♪ Sentimental story ♪ 2055 01:26:17,563 --> 01:26:20,175 ♪ My, oh my, we sure in love ♪ 2056 01:26:20,262 --> 01:26:22,177 ♪ Two people in the name of love ♪ 2057 01:26:22,264 --> 01:26:24,483 ♪ Are you hearing what they're saying ♪ 2058 01:26:24,570 --> 01:26:27,138 ♪ See the game they're playing ♪ 2059 01:26:27,225 --> 01:26:29,314 ♪ My, oh my, we sure in love ♪ 2060 01:26:29,401 --> 01:26:31,751 ♪ Two people in the name of love ♪ 2061 01:26:31,838 --> 01:26:33,579 ♪ Happiness and glory ♪ 2062 01:26:33,666 --> 01:26:36,800 ♪ ["Anything Is Easy" by the BoDeans] ♪ 2063 01:26:42,501 --> 01:26:44,808 ♪ Do do do do do ♪ 2064 01:26:44,895 --> 01:26:46,897 ♪ Do do do do do ♪ 2065 01:26:46,984 --> 01:26:48,899 ♪ Do do do do do ♪ 2066 01:26:48,986 --> 01:26:51,118 ♪ Everything you do ♪ 2067 01:26:51,206 --> 01:26:53,338 ♪ Whoa now, baby, just a little longer ♪ 2068 01:26:53,425 --> 01:26:55,601 ♪ Nah, nah, nah, now don't you let go ♪ 2069 01:26:55,688 --> 01:26:57,647 ♪ Sometimes the love gets stronger ♪ 2070 01:26:57,734 --> 01:26:59,692 ♪ Baby, baby, you never know ♪ 2071 01:26:59,779 --> 01:27:01,651 ♪ Fever is up a little higher ♪ 2072 01:27:01,738 --> 01:27:03,827 ♪ And I bet you're burning inside ♪ 2073 01:27:03,914 --> 01:27:05,872 ♪ Will ya hold on and don't let go ♪ 2074 01:27:05,959 --> 01:27:08,440 ♪ ' Cuz everything, let me take you for a ride ♪ 2075 01:27:08,527 --> 01:27:10,442 ♪ Sometimes you gotta be ♪ 2076 01:27:10,529 --> 01:27:12,662 ♪ Stronger, baby, and see ♪ 2077 01:27:12,749 --> 01:27:14,794 ♪ Just yourself moving in line ♪ 2078 01:27:14,881 --> 01:27:16,840 ♪ Getting there in good time ♪ 2079 01:27:16,927 --> 01:27:18,885 ♪ Blue skies, baby I know ♪ 2080 01:27:18,972 --> 01:27:21,192 ♪ Hold on, baby ♪ 2081 01:27:21,279 --> 01:27:22,933 ♪ Sun shining down on you ♪ 2082 01:27:23,020 --> 01:27:25,327 ♪ And everything that you do ♪ 2083 01:27:26,632 --> 01:27:30,680 ♪ Hold on, baby ♪ 2084 01:27:30,767 --> 01:27:33,857 ♪ Livin' in a world gone crazy ♪ 2085 01:27:33,944 --> 01:27:36,163 ♪ Just do what you wanna do ♪ 2086 01:27:36,251 --> 01:27:38,296 ♪ Be what you wanna be ♪ 2087 01:27:38,383 --> 01:27:40,255 ♪ You just see what you wanna see ♪ 2088 01:27:40,342 --> 01:27:42,605 ♪ Anything is easy ♪ 2089 01:27:42,692 --> 01:27:44,346 ♪ You can say what you wanna say ♪ 2090 01:27:44,433 --> 01:27:46,652 ♪ Speak it to me every day ♪ 2091 01:27:46,739 --> 01:27:48,741 ♪ You can be what you wanna be ♪ 2092 01:27:48,828 --> 01:27:50,613 ♪ And everything is easy ♪ 2093 01:27:51,570 --> 01:27:54,704 ♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, na, na ♪ 2094 01:27:55,966 --> 01:27:59,186 ♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, oh, baby, say ♪ 2095 01:27:59,274 --> 01:28:02,277 ♪ Yeah ♪ 2096 01:28:07,151 --> 01:28:09,980 ♪ Oh, baby, say yeah ♪ 2097 01:28:15,290 --> 01:28:17,292 ♪ ♪ 138539