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With the stars...
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and...
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Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT PICTURES
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Did you find a ball, Ralph?
5
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:45,427
No, I can't find it in there.
6
00:00:45,495 --> 00:00:48,196
Well, a ball just
can't disappear.
7
00:00:48,265 --> 00:00:49,809
Well, it disappeared,
so let's forget about it.
8
00:00:49,833 --> 00:00:51,828
I'll play you another
game some other time.
9
00:00:51,852 --> 00:00:54,335
Oh no, you won't.
I got you 19 to 2.
10
00:00:54,405 --> 00:00:57,071
All I need is two more points
and I won a dime from you.
11
00:00:57,140 --> 00:01:00,108
We lost the ball and there
aren't any more balls left.
12
00:01:00,176 --> 00:01:02,444
I don't know how we could
lose three balls in one game.
13
00:01:02,513 --> 00:01:04,446
It always happens
when I play with you.
14
00:01:04,515 --> 00:01:05,759
Doesn't make any difference.
15
00:01:05,783 --> 00:01:07,494
We're gonna start
the meeting anyway.
16
00:01:07,518 --> 00:01:09,712
All right, will you just give
me the dime? I got you beat.
17
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:12,437
What do you mean, give
you a dime, you got me beat?
18
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,506
19 points don't win this game.
19
00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:16,708
21 points win the game.
20
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:17,888
I just let you get ahead
21
00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:19,522
to make it
interesting, that's all.
22
00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:20,895
If we had another ball,
23
00:01:20,964 --> 00:01:23,131
I would have
started my "A" game.
24
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,701
Then I would have
beaten you, 21 to 19.
25
00:01:26,770 --> 00:01:28,890
But you don't hear me
asking you for a dime.
26
00:01:28,939 --> 00:01:31,273
That's something you
gotta learn, Norton.
27
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:32,874
You gotta learn...
28
00:01:32,943 --> 00:01:35,110
that it isn't always
important to win.
29
00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:38,012
Just play the game for
the sake of the game.
30
00:01:38,082 --> 00:01:39,998
Win or lose, be a good sport.
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00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:41,149
Yeah.
32
00:01:41,218 --> 00:01:42,250
All right, all right.
33
00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:43,885
Forget about the
dime. Forget about...
34
00:01:43,954 --> 00:01:44,987
Give me a match.
35
00:01:45,055 --> 00:01:46,421
Oh, sure, pal.
36
00:01:56,733 --> 00:02:00,169
How in the world could
they have gotten in there?
37
00:02:00,237 --> 00:02:02,938
I'll give you three guesses,
the first two don't count.
38
00:02:03,007 --> 00:02:05,007
Shut up and serve!
39
00:02:07,912 --> 00:02:09,845
Now this time if the
ball goes off the table,
40
00:02:09,914 --> 00:02:11,313
let me look for it, will you?
41
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:14,221
Don't give me any
instructions. Just serve.
42
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,573
Will you come on and serve!
43
00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:26,077
You play your
game, I'll play mine!
44
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,713
Will you please serve the ball?
45
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,717
That's 20. That's 20.
46
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:34,330
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
47
00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:35,731
That was an illegal serve.
48
00:02:35,755 --> 00:02:38,056
I can serve any way I want
as long as the ball bounces
49
00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:40,125
on my side of the net and
it bounces on your side.
50
00:02:40,193 --> 00:02:42,260
That serve doesn't
count. I wasn't ready.
51
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,229
I don't care. When
the serve was served,
52
00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:46,431
the receiver's got to
be ready at all time.
53
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,833
Come on, point... Come on,
point game here coming up.
54
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:50,552
You ready?
55
00:02:51,188 --> 00:02:53,138
I'm ready.
56
00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:57,109
Ready? I think I'll wind
up the proceedings here
57
00:02:57,177 --> 00:03:01,880
with Norton's famous
mystery atomic cannonball.
58
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,182
Oh!
59
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:09,487
Put 'em up, Norton! Put 'em up.
60
00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:11,089
Just put 'em up!
61
00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:13,441
Wait, wait, we're playing for
the game's sake, you know.
62
00:03:13,510 --> 00:03:15,610
Win or lose, you
gotta be a good sport.
63
00:03:15,679 --> 00:03:17,462
Never mind about
that sport stuff.
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00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:18,964
Just put 'em up!
65
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,443
Well, Norton, beat
him again, huh?
66
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:22,567
Beat me again, huh?
Not if he played fair!
67
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,402
I could beat him
with both hands tied.
68
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:26,015
Yeah, if they were my
hands that were tied.
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00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,238
Oh, you're a riot.
70
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:29,140
Come now, no hard feelings.
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00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,720
Remember we are Racoons,
72
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:33,511
and all raccoons are
brothers under the pelt.
73
00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:35,124
Now, forget your differences,
74
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:37,215
and let's have the
Racoon handshake.
75
00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:40,384
Come on, the Racoon handshake!
76
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:42,722
Aah...
77
00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:48,805
All right, boys,
let's get this table
78
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:50,073
out of here now, come on.
79
00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:52,547
Let's get the meeting
started, hurry up!
80
00:03:52,615 --> 00:03:53,548
That's it.
81
00:03:53,616 --> 00:03:54,882
Boy, oh, boy, I'm telling you.
82
00:03:54,951 --> 00:03:56,151
You ever hear of a guy losing
83
00:03:56,219 --> 00:03:57,785
three Ping-Pong
balls in his pocket?
84
00:03:57,854 --> 00:03:59,732
You shouldn't play
Ping-Pong with him.
85
00:03:59,756 --> 00:04:00,689
You're too good.
86
00:04:00,758 --> 00:04:01,807
You're right, I shouldn't.
87
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:03,275
I'll just stick to
playing Ping-Pong
88
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:04,943
during my lunch hour
down in the sewer.
89
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:06,945
You play Ping-Pong in the sewer?
90
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,446
Yeah. It's the only
game we can play
91
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:10,731
with a ball that can float!
92
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,094
All right, fellas, come on.
93
00:04:12,118 --> 00:04:13,785
Let's get our places
here now, huh?
94
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:15,520
Get this meeting started here.
95
00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:19,591
All right, gentlemen...
96
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:24,295
I now call this meeting of
the Racoon Lodge to order.
97
00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:27,482
Gentlemen, the
traditional Racoon salute.
98
00:04:31,254 --> 00:04:33,638
Now, for the first
order of business,
99
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:35,640
we'll hear a report
from Brother Kramden,
100
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,475
who last month
volunteered to take charge
101
00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:38,826
of the drive for new members.
102
00:04:38,895 --> 00:04:40,735
Brother Kramden? Thank you.
103
00:04:41,298 --> 00:04:42,497
Uh, Mr. President...
104
00:04:42,566 --> 00:04:44,666
members of the Racoon Lodge,
105
00:04:44,735 --> 00:04:48,903
as you know, this month
we were to have a drive
106
00:04:48,972 --> 00:04:52,007
to reach a quota
of 50 new members.
107
00:04:52,075 --> 00:04:54,009
However, because of the fact
108
00:04:54,077 --> 00:04:55,855
that we have not
reached the quota,
109
00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:59,147
I suggest that we continue
the drive for another week.
110
00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:00,915
Well, uh, how many
more applicants
111
00:05:00,984 --> 00:05:03,351
do we need to fill our
quota of 50 new members?
112
00:05:03,419 --> 00:05:05,353
Fifty.
113
00:05:05,421 --> 00:05:07,122
We-we have no new members?
114
00:05:07,190 --> 00:05:08,757
This-this is very disappointing!
115
00:05:08,826 --> 00:05:11,743
Mr. President...
Yes, Brother Norton?
116
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:14,012
As much as I hate
to pay a compliment
117
00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:17,715
to the fat chairman
of the drive...
118
00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:21,853
I think that we all owe
him a vote of thanks
119
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,355
for the vast improvement
120
00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:25,556
made over last
year's member drive.
121
00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:27,558
But he didn't bring
in one new member!
122
00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:31,096
I know, but last year we
lost three of the old members.
123
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:33,999
Oh, yes, well, I, uh, I guess
124
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:36,034
I owe you an apology,
Brother Kramden.
125
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,201
Apology is accepted.
126
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:40,105
Unfortunately, though,
I, uh, I don't think
127
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:43,074
that extending the drive
another week is the answer.
128
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:45,643
There must be some reason
we're not getting new members.
129
00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:48,479
I suggest we look
at all the possibilities.
130
00:05:48,532 --> 00:05:51,048
Ah, first of all, what
are the requirements
131
00:05:51,117 --> 00:05:52,762
that a new member
must go through
132
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:54,753
before he can be
entered into the lodge?
133
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:56,087
Oh, well, let's, uh, let's see.
134
00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:58,256
That's section two of
our rules and bylaws.
135
00:05:58,325 --> 00:06:00,392
Here, Brother
Kramden, you read that.
136
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:01,460
All right.
137
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,996
All applicants applying
for membership
138
00:06:05,064 --> 00:06:06,731
in the Royal Order of Racoons
139
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,150
must meet with the
following requirements:
140
00:06:09,219 --> 00:06:10,668
Number one,
141
00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:14,572
applicant must have earned
a public school diploma.
142
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:17,842
Two, he must have
resided in the United States
143
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,443
for the last six months.
144
00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:22,830
Three, he must pay a
dollar and a half initiation fee.
145
00:06:22,899 --> 00:06:24,460
Excuse me.
146
00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:25,795
There's your
trouble right there.
147
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,659
The requirements are too tough.
148
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:30,438
They're not too tough.
149
00:06:30,507 --> 00:06:32,407
You belong to the
lodge, don't you?
150
00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:33,608
Oh, now, here, come on.
151
00:06:33,677 --> 00:06:35,377
Order, order, Brothers!
152
00:06:35,446 --> 00:06:38,380
Brother Norton, I don't think
that's the cause of our trouble.
153
00:06:38,449 --> 00:06:40,109
Excuse me, Mr. President.
154
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:41,511
I hate to disagree
with the president,
155
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,646
but take that
requirement number two.
156
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:46,483
Well, it says that you gotta be
a resident of the United States
157
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:49,875
for at least six months before
you can apply for membership.
158
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:51,209
Well, what about it?
159
00:06:51,277 --> 00:06:52,443
What about it?
160
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,513
On account of that silly rule,
161
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:57,348
Anthony Eden could
never become a Racoon!
162
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,017
Anthony?
163
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,585
Mr. President...
164
00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:03,822
Brother Kramden...
Brother Norton is a nut!
165
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:05,418
I have the floor,
you're out of order.
166
00:07:05,442 --> 00:07:08,159
The only thing out of
order here is your head.
167
00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:11,696
Brothers, Brothers, this
is getting us no place.
168
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,264
Let's face the facts.
169
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:17,369
There must be plenty of
eligible... uh, comp, uh... uh...
170
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,370
Applicants.
171
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:19,604
Applicants. I'm sorry,
172
00:07:19,672 --> 00:07:21,406
so I couldn't think of the word.
173
00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:24,476
And it's all your own fault
for not bringing them in.
174
00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:27,078
Well, I'll bet there
isn't a man in this room
175
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:29,831
that couldn't bring in two or
three of his fellow workers with him.
176
00:07:29,899 --> 00:07:31,132
How about you, Norton?
177
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:33,062
Well, Mr. President,
I guess you're right.
178
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:34,863
I haven't been trying
hard enough to get
179
00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:37,333
some of the fellas that work
with me down in the sewer.
180
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:38,834
I should have
come up with a few.
181
00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:41,125
Yeah.
182
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:42,460
And, uh...
183
00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:44,340
I ain't got no
excuse and I'm sorry.
184
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:45,931
All right, sir. And
you, Andrews?
185
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:48,266
Well, there are plenty
of guys at the brewery.
186
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:50,380
There's no reason I
couldn't bring in one or two.
187
00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:51,602
I ain't got no excuse.
188
00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:52,987
And you, Driven?
189
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:55,673
Driven's the only one
with a legitimate excuse.
190
00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:57,108
He's an undertaker.
191
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:02,446
Just a little levity
to break the tension.
192
00:08:02,515 --> 00:08:03,647
All right, we'll just...
193
00:08:03,716 --> 00:08:05,616
we'll just have to
do better next time.
194
00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:07,585
Now, for the second
order of business,
195
00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:10,188
it gives me great pleasure
to remind you brothers
196
00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:11,689
that next Sunday is the day
197
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:14,092
of the Racoon Lodge's
annual fishing trip.
198
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:19,297
And I'd like to report
also that like last year,
199
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:22,600
Brother Muldoon
will bring the beer
200
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:25,036
and Brother Havameyer
will supply the knotwurst.
201
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,740
Now, in the past years,
we've always tried
202
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:32,510
to make our fishing trips
better than the year before.
203
00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:34,678
However, this year,
there's been a consensus
204
00:08:34,747 --> 00:08:36,680
that we should leave
our wives at home.
205
00:08:36,749 --> 00:08:38,583
However, we must
take a vote on that.
206
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:41,636
Now, all those in favor
of not bringing their wives,
207
00:08:41,705 --> 00:08:43,371
raise their hand.
208
00:08:45,008 --> 00:08:48,009
Now, all those in favor
of bringing their wives,
209
00:08:48,078 --> 00:08:49,744
raise their hand.
210
00:08:51,247 --> 00:08:53,614
What's the matter with you?
Why are you voting twice?
211
00:08:53,684 --> 00:08:56,601
I want to make sure
that Trixie ain't goin'.
212
00:08:56,669 --> 00:08:58,314
But what's that
got to do with it?
213
00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:00,349
Well, when she finds
out she ain't goin',
214
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:03,308
I want to be able say
I voted for her goin'.
215
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,143
You see... Will you sit down!
216
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:08,045
The motion is
passed unanimously.
217
00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:11,382
The wives stay at home.
Yes, Brother Kramden?
218
00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:13,551
Mr. President and
members, as you know,
219
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:16,688
for the last seven years
we have unanimously voted
220
00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:19,156
to keep the women
off of the fishing trip.
221
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:21,158
I make a motion now
222
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:24,011
that we vote to tell
'em about it this year.
223
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:27,265
Well, who seconds that motion?
224
00:09:28,585 --> 00:09:31,302
Well, isn't anybody
gonna second it?
225
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:33,904
Huh! Sure.
226
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:36,608
Sure. Just as I figured.
227
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:38,243
You all vote that the women
228
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,578
are not coming
on the fishing trip.
229
00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,413
Big men!
230
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:44,949
But what does it mean? Nothin'!
231
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,984
Because when it's
time to face your wife,
232
00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:50,455
you all back down
and give in, that's why!
233
00:09:50,524 --> 00:09:53,258
It's time to ask
yourself a question.
234
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,576
Are the Racoons mice or men?
235
00:09:55,645 --> 00:09:57,762
Ah, wait a minute, Kramden!
236
00:09:57,831 --> 00:10:00,665
How come your wife is
always on the fishing trip?
237
00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:03,668
Because I let her
come, that's why.
238
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:05,670
Because I let her
come, that's why!
239
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,672
And do you know
why I let her come?
240
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:12,327
I didn't want to show
you guys up, that's why!
241
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,194
Now, look.
242
00:10:14,263 --> 00:10:16,196
I'm gonna say
something to you men,
243
00:10:16,265 --> 00:10:18,666
and you'd better listen to
it because it's important.
244
00:10:18,735 --> 00:10:21,001
Every time you get into
245
00:10:21,070 --> 00:10:23,037
the habit of saying
yes to your wife,
246
00:10:23,105 --> 00:10:27,475
you're getting into the habit of
saying no to your independence.
247
00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:29,911
It's time to make
a decision, men.
248
00:10:29,979 --> 00:10:33,831
Are you going to retreat
into the darkness of slavery?!
249
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:36,067
Or are you going to advance?!
250
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:38,302
Advance into the
sunshine of freedom?!
251
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:42,874
I say, advance!
252
00:10:42,942 --> 00:10:44,609
This is our last chance.
253
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:47,778
If we let these women
take over our fishing trip,
254
00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:50,748
we are through. All is lost!
255
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,883
Remember, today
it's the fishing trip,
256
00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:54,885
tomorrow it'll be the pool room!
257
00:10:54,954 --> 00:10:57,972
He's right! I second
Kramden's vote.
258
00:10:58,040 --> 00:10:59,418
We're with you, Ralph!
259
00:10:59,442 --> 00:11:01,053
We'll show 'em who's boss!
260
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:03,110
Oh, gentlemen,
this is a great night
261
00:11:03,179 --> 00:11:04,946
in the history of the Racoons.
262
00:11:05,014 --> 00:11:06,380
Say, how about a poker game
263
00:11:06,449 --> 00:11:08,315
as a declaration of
our independence?
264
00:11:08,384 --> 00:11:09,984
The beer and the
pretzels are on me.
265
00:11:11,788 --> 00:11:14,088
Thank you very much,
Mr. President. Thank you, men.
266
00:11:14,157 --> 00:11:17,024
Boy, Ralphie, I
gotta hand it to you.
267
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:18,971
You're a rotten
Ping-Pong player,
268
00:11:18,995 --> 00:11:20,895
but you make a
good speech maker.
269
00:11:20,963 --> 00:11:22,763
If you were 90 pounds lighter,
270
00:11:22,832 --> 00:11:26,033
the boys would have carried
you out on their shoulders.
271
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:28,236
Come on, let's play
a little poker, pal.
272
00:11:28,305 --> 00:11:31,005
No, you go ahead.
I don't want to play.
273
00:11:31,074 --> 00:11:32,607
But you like poker.
274
00:11:32,676 --> 00:11:36,678
I know, but Alice told me to
be sure and be home at 10:30.
275
00:11:55,431 --> 00:11:59,601
Look, Alice, you might as
well get this into your head.
276
00:11:59,669 --> 00:12:02,770
A fishing trip is just
like a Turkish bath.
277
00:12:02,839 --> 00:12:04,672
It's for men only.
278
00:12:09,112 --> 00:12:13,113
I catch the fish...
you cook the fish.
279
00:12:13,183 --> 00:12:18,052
The only time we're together
is when we eat the fish.
280
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:22,223
So, it's final, it's settled
and it's over and done with.
281
00:12:22,292 --> 00:12:25,426
You are not going
on the fishing trip.
282
00:12:29,098 --> 00:12:30,898
Hi, Ralph. Hi, Alice.
283
00:12:30,966 --> 00:12:33,011
I'm sorry I was late, honey.
I had some shopping to do.
284
00:12:33,035 --> 00:12:34,035
But I'll have your supper
285
00:12:34,070 --> 00:12:35,303
ready for you in a minute.
286
00:12:35,371 --> 00:12:36,620
Uh, Alice... Yes?
287
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:38,450
I want to tell you something.
288
00:12:38,474 --> 00:12:40,341
Well?
289
00:12:40,409 --> 00:12:41,575
I'll tell you later.
290
00:12:41,644 --> 00:12:42,877
Okay.
291
00:12:42,946 --> 00:12:45,529
I'll be right out. I got
a surprise for you.
292
00:12:49,301 --> 00:12:50,601
Say there, Ralphie boy.
293
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:52,202
Oh hi, Norton.
294
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:54,505
Mind if I put this
in your icebox
295
00:12:54,573 --> 00:12:56,351
till I get upstairs?
It's perishable.
296
00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:57,708
Oh, help yourself.
297
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:10,187
It ain't that I'm hungry,
298
00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:12,067
I just had to make a
little room for my parcel.
299
00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:13,791
Yeah, sure, sure.
300
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:17,612
How'd you make out
about the car, Ralph?
301
00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:20,047
Oh, I got the car. Freddie
Miller said I could have it.
302
00:13:20,116 --> 00:13:22,094
As a matter of fact, he's
leaving it in front of the house
303
00:13:22,118 --> 00:13:23,584
on his way home tonight.
304
00:13:23,653 --> 00:13:26,186
And by the way, the trip
isn't going to cost us a cent.
305
00:13:26,256 --> 00:13:28,434
I told some of the members
I'd give 'em a lift down to the pier
306
00:13:28,458 --> 00:13:29,724
if they'd chip in for the gas.
307
00:13:29,792 --> 00:13:30,924
So, they will be downstairs
308
00:13:30,993 --> 00:13:32,393
and meet us in
front of the house
309
00:13:32,462 --> 00:13:34,662
at 6:00 tomorrow morning.
310
00:13:37,467 --> 00:13:39,433
What's the matter with you?
311
00:13:40,936 --> 00:13:42,748
I, uh... I got a confession
to make, Ralph.
312
00:13:42,772 --> 00:13:44,850
I know it's going to be a
big disappointment to you,
313
00:13:44,874 --> 00:13:46,307
but I gotta tell you.
314
00:13:46,376 --> 00:13:48,743
I realize the fishing
trip is tomorrow,
315
00:13:48,811 --> 00:13:51,145
but I just haven't gotten
around to telling Trixie
316
00:13:51,213 --> 00:13:52,613
that she's not goin' fishin'.
317
00:13:52,682 --> 00:13:54,826
I almost started to tell
her just a little while ago.
318
00:13:54,850 --> 00:13:57,585
She was standing too
close to the pots and pans.
319
00:13:57,654 --> 00:13:59,820
I just haven't got the
courage you got, I guess.
320
00:13:59,889 --> 00:14:02,423
Listen, I been doin' the
most stupid things, Ralph.
321
00:14:02,492 --> 00:14:04,637
You know, when she's
not home, I'm standin' there,
322
00:14:04,661 --> 00:14:06,238
making speeches
at her, telling her,
323
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:07,906
"Trix, you're not goin'
fishin', you know."
324
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,397
Ain't that stupid?
325
00:14:09,465 --> 00:14:14,134
Then she comes home...
nothin'. I chicken out.
326
00:14:14,203 --> 00:14:17,438
Will you do me one
big favor, please?
327
00:14:17,507 --> 00:14:19,757
Tell me, word for word,
how did you tell Alice
328
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:21,436
that she is not goin' fishin'?
329
00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:22,726
Just tell me.
330
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:25,847
Well, I said to her...
331
00:14:25,915 --> 00:14:28,448
I didn't tell her either yet.
332
00:14:28,517 --> 00:14:31,469
You didn't tell her!
You didn't tell...
333
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,015
Our leader! You were the guy
334
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:35,306
makin' the big speech
about being free.
335
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:38,576
Oh, boy. To think
at this moment,
336
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:40,623
our fellow members
of the Racoon Lodge
337
00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:42,607
are mimeographin'
copies of your speech
338
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:45,750
to hang up in every pool
room in Bensonhurst!
339
00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:47,852
For shame!
340
00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:50,021
Well, do you know
why I didn't tell her?
341
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,188
Do you know why?
342
00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:52,802
Do you know why
I didn't tell her?
343
00:14:52,826 --> 00:14:55,593
Well, I'll tell you
why I didn't tell her.
344
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,929
Why should I tell you
why I didn't tell her?
345
00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:00,131
I'll tell you why
you didn't tell her.
346
00:15:00,199 --> 00:15:01,332
You're scared of Alice.
347
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,667
Ha-ha-ha!
348
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:05,336
Hardy-har-har!
349
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:08,239
That'll be the day when I'm
scared to tell Alice anything.
350
00:15:08,307 --> 00:15:09,406
I'll eat your hat.
351
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:10,886
Well, then, why
didn't you tell her?
352
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,210
I didn't tell her because...
353
00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:14,279
Well, I don't even know
354
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:15,879
if she wants to
go on a fishing trip.
355
00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:17,881
Why should I start
a fight over nothing?
356
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,616
She's given me no indication
357
00:15:19,685 --> 00:15:22,002
that she thinks wants
to go on a fishing trip.
358
00:15:22,071 --> 00:15:24,422
How do you like it?
359
00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:30,161
I got a hunch she's
thinkin' of goin' fishin'.
360
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:32,163
It was a great bargain, Ralph.
361
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:33,764
I got it all on sale.
362
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:36,200
Nice boots. Nice and light.
363
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,670
Good for summer
wear in the sewer.
364
00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:42,189
Ralph, you haven't
said anything yet.
365
00:15:42,258 --> 00:15:44,241
Go ahead, say something, Ralph.
366
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:46,643
Alice, I gotta tell
you something.
367
00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:48,179
Yeah?
368
00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:50,515
That's a mighty fine
outfit you got there.
369
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:51,665
So glad you like it.
370
00:15:51,734 --> 00:15:52,734
I'll go change, and then
371
00:15:52,768 --> 00:15:54,902
I'll get your supper
ready for you.
372
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,316
Don't get smart,
don't get smart!
373
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,318
I'll tell her when I'm ready.
374
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:12,531
You better tell her, because if
she comes tomorrow with you,
375
00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:14,200
you are going to be
the laughingstock.
376
00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:15,990
Don't worry about
me. Just you make sure
377
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:17,925
that you tell Trixie
that she's not goin'.
378
00:16:17,994 --> 00:16:19,271
All right, all
right, I'll tell her.
379
00:16:19,295 --> 00:16:20,539
And listen, Brother Kramden,
380
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:22,475
next time you're ready
to make a speech,
381
00:16:22,499 --> 00:16:25,433
will you do me a favor? Shut up.
382
00:16:25,502 --> 00:16:26,934
Hey, wait a minute!
383
00:16:29,172 --> 00:16:31,939
Alice! Come out here.
384
00:16:32,008 --> 00:16:33,857
Now look, Alice...
385
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:36,288
I'm gonna tell you something.
I've made up my mind about it,
386
00:16:36,312 --> 00:16:38,579
so there's no sense in
trying to change my mind.
387
00:16:38,647 --> 00:16:41,715
Let's not do any hollering,
screaming or yelling.
388
00:16:41,784 --> 00:16:44,201
You are not going
on the fishing trip.
389
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:46,754
I am going.
390
00:16:46,823 --> 00:16:49,507
You're not going.
391
00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:50,858
I am going!
392
00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:52,254
You're not going!
393
00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:53,578
I am going!
394
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:58,349
The only place you're
going is to the moon!
395
00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:01,969
You get this, Ralph,
and get it straight.
396
00:17:02,037 --> 00:17:03,971
When you're on that
fishing trip tomorrow,
397
00:17:04,039 --> 00:17:06,474
I'm gonna be there, too.
398
00:17:06,542 --> 00:17:08,208
You can't go!
399
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:09,577
All the guys voted unanimously
400
00:17:09,645 --> 00:17:11,311
that we can't take
the wives with us!
401
00:17:11,380 --> 00:17:12,980
None of the wives are goin'!
402
00:17:13,048 --> 00:17:14,181
None of the wives are going?
403
00:17:14,249 --> 00:17:16,817
Well, for your
information, Trixie's going.
404
00:17:16,886 --> 00:17:18,714
Oh, is that so, Mrs.
Weisenheimer?
405
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:21,004
Well, for your
information, she's not goin',
406
00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:24,241
'cause Norton's on his way
up to tell her she can't go.
407
00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:32,783
Didn't I tell you
Trixie's going?
408
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:35,619
I don't care if she's
goin', you're not goin'!
409
00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:37,071
Now you listen to me, Ralph.
410
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:38,772
I am going on that fishing trip.
411
00:17:38,841 --> 00:17:40,774
I gave up going to beauty
parlor for three months
412
00:17:40,843 --> 00:17:42,176
to buy that fishing equipment.
413
00:17:42,245 --> 00:17:44,056
Yeah? Well, that
fishing equipment
414
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,414
will not do you one bit of good.
415
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:48,682
What do you know about
fishing in the first place?
416
00:17:48,718 --> 00:17:50,418
When did you ever
catch anything?
417
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:53,053
15 years ago.
418
00:17:53,122 --> 00:17:57,525
I caught 300 pounds of blubber.
419
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,246
Oh, would I like to...
420
00:18:04,116 --> 00:18:06,383
You're not goin'!
421
00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:09,386
I am, Ralph, and at
6:00 tomorrow morning,
422
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:10,921
I shall be ready.
423
00:18:25,154 --> 00:18:28,089
Well... Me, too.
424
00:18:28,157 --> 00:18:29,289
Yeah, Trixie, too.
425
00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:30,858
She says she's
gonna be ready at 6:00
426
00:18:30,927 --> 00:18:32,126
in the morning to go fishing.
427
00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:34,095
So's Trixie.
428
00:18:34,163 --> 00:18:35,808
Hey, wait a minute. What?
429
00:18:36,833 --> 00:18:37,833
Wait a minute!
430
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:40,200
All right, so they're gonna
431
00:18:40,269 --> 00:18:42,202
be up at 6:00 to go fishin'.
432
00:18:42,271 --> 00:18:45,772
Suppose we sneak out at 4:00?
433
00:18:45,841 --> 00:18:48,709
Ralph, you're a genius!
434
00:18:48,778 --> 00:18:51,212
You gotta get up a little early
435
00:18:51,281 --> 00:18:52,880
to put anything over on me.
436
00:18:52,949 --> 00:18:54,581
'Bout half past three.
437
00:18:56,485 --> 00:18:58,252
Now, look... Hey, wait a minute.
438
00:18:58,321 --> 00:19:00,561
What about the guys that
are gonna meet us at 6:00?
439
00:19:00,589 --> 00:19:02,539
Very simple. We'll call
them up on the phone
440
00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:04,775
and tell them to meet us
in front of the house at 4:00.
441
00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:06,911
You make the calls and
use an outside phone.
442
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,157
Yeah. All right. Now, remember,
443
00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:09,781
when you're coming
down tomorrow morning,
444
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:12,233
be careful not to wake
up Trixie or we're dead.
445
00:19:12,302 --> 00:19:14,168
Don't you worry about a thing.
446
00:19:14,237 --> 00:19:15,602
Hey, wait a minute. What?
447
00:19:15,671 --> 00:19:17,216
Don't you want that package
you put in my icebox?
448
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,006
Ooh. Thanks.
449
00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:25,145
I'm glad you reminded
me about this.
450
00:19:25,214 --> 00:19:27,164
Boy, we'd be in pretty
bad shape tomorrow
451
00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:28,598
if I didn't bring this.
452
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:29,599
What is it?
453
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:30,901
Worms.
454
00:19:30,969 --> 00:19:34,104
You put worms in my icebox!
455
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,473
Get out! Get out!
456
00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:39,809
Worms in my icebox!
457
00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:54,925
Great idea of yours to go...
458
00:19:54,993 --> 00:19:56,893
at 4:00 in the morning.
459
00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:59,122
Well, let's get in the car
where we can sit down.
460
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:19,216
Know what I'm gonna do?
461
00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:21,285
I'm gonna take a little snooze.
462
00:20:21,353 --> 00:20:23,387
There'll be no snoozin', Norton.
463
00:20:28,193 --> 00:20:29,993
Norton, I said don't snooze!
464
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,429
I just had my eyes closed.
465
00:20:31,497 --> 00:20:32,974
Don't tell me you
had your eyes closed.
466
00:20:32,998 --> 00:20:33,931
I just heard you snore!
467
00:20:33,999 --> 00:20:35,633
That was the horn.
468
00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:37,000
The horn?
469
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:39,403
We better get out of here
before we wake the girls up.
470
00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:41,238
What'd I do with the key?
471
00:20:41,307 --> 00:20:42,973
What about the guys?
472
00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:44,508
Huh? The guys.
473
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:47,144
The guys? Makes no difference.
474
00:20:47,212 --> 00:20:49,625
We'll drive around the block.
They gotta come up that street.
475
00:20:49,649 --> 00:20:50,798
Oh.
476
00:20:52,234 --> 00:20:54,702
You know what? What?
477
00:20:54,770 --> 00:20:57,437
The girls are really
gonna be in for some shock
478
00:20:57,506 --> 00:21:00,607
when they find out that
we left without them.
479
00:21:02,311 --> 00:21:05,245
They're gonna be mighty
mad when we get home tonight.
480
00:21:05,314 --> 00:21:06,080
Ho, ho!
481
00:21:06,148 --> 00:21:07,781
Ah, we can handle them.
482
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:10,383
Give 'em a little of
that old sweet talk.
483
00:21:11,587 --> 00:21:13,754
They always go for that malarkey
484
00:21:13,823 --> 00:21:16,456
about "Oh, how we missed
you when we were gone."
485
00:21:18,094 --> 00:21:19,793
Well, we're off.
486
00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:28,468
It won't turn over.
487
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:30,303
Maybe it's cold.
488
00:21:33,475 --> 00:21:35,809
Maybe it's a dead battery?
489
00:21:35,878 --> 00:21:37,644
I'll go out and have a look.
490
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:39,813
Why don't you
try the choke first?
491
00:21:41,483 --> 00:21:44,417
I forgot about
that. Thanks, Alice.
492
00:21:44,486 --> 00:21:45,486
Whoa!
493
00:21:48,690 --> 00:21:49,823
Ralph...
494
00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:52,226
I ain't got the courage
to look back there.
495
00:21:52,294 --> 00:21:54,128
Is Mrs. Norton back there?
496
00:21:54,964 --> 00:21:56,830
Right behind you.
497
00:21:56,899 --> 00:21:58,348
Gee.
498
00:21:58,417 --> 00:22:01,735
This is one of the sneakiest
tricks I've ever heard of.
499
00:22:01,804 --> 00:22:03,915
When it comes to sneaky
tricks, don't you talk!
500
00:22:03,939 --> 00:22:05,684
How did you ever expect
to get away with this?
501
00:22:05,708 --> 00:22:06,785
We would have if you weren't
502
00:22:06,809 --> 00:22:07,952
picking up some other Racoons.
503
00:22:07,976 --> 00:22:09,521
We would've been
all the way to the pier
504
00:22:09,545 --> 00:22:10,889
before you knew
we were in the car.
505
00:22:10,913 --> 00:22:12,513
Is that so? Well,
you're not goin'!
506
00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:13,792
Well, you're not goin' either.
507
00:22:13,816 --> 00:22:14,816
You can't start the car!
508
00:22:14,883 --> 00:22:16,216
Oh, I can't, huh?
509
00:22:16,285 --> 00:22:18,585
I haven't driven a bus
for 15 years for nothin'.
510
00:22:18,654 --> 00:22:21,154
I'll get the car started.
Don't worry about that.
511
00:22:29,648 --> 00:22:31,749
All right, get over
there and start the car
512
00:22:31,817 --> 00:22:33,884
when I tell you it's okay.
513
00:22:33,952 --> 00:22:37,438
Oh... All right, start the car.
514
00:22:42,195 --> 00:22:45,696
All right, all right. I
know what's wrong now.
515
00:22:45,764 --> 00:22:47,465
Oh, yeah.
516
00:22:47,533 --> 00:22:50,067
All right, start the car.
517
00:22:54,890 --> 00:22:56,974
Give me a hairpin, Trixie.
518
00:22:57,043 --> 00:22:58,043
Oh, sure.
519
00:23:00,763 --> 00:23:04,031
Ha-ha-ha. Hardy-har-har.
520
00:23:07,603 --> 00:23:10,304
All right, Ed, step
on the starter now.
521
00:23:16,745 --> 00:23:18,879
Well, let's get back
in the car, Ralph.
522
00:23:18,947 --> 00:23:21,059
You're not gettin' in the
car, 'cause you're not goin'!
523
00:23:21,083 --> 00:23:22,349
Is that your final word, Ralph?
524
00:23:22,418 --> 00:23:24,518
That's my final
word, you're not goin'!
525
00:23:24,586 --> 00:23:26,353
All right.
526
00:23:28,257 --> 00:23:29,623
You think that stops me?
527
00:23:29,691 --> 00:23:31,625
If you can do it, I
can do it. Look out.
528
00:23:31,693 --> 00:23:33,427
Don't be too sure, Ralph.
529
00:23:33,496 --> 00:23:35,629
I ain't got no hairpins.
530
00:23:35,697 --> 00:23:37,931
Trixie, give me another hairpin.
531
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,233
Sure. Thank you.
532
00:23:39,301 --> 00:23:40,901
Oh, a head start, eh?
533
00:23:40,969 --> 00:23:42,403
Yeah.
534
00:23:42,471 --> 00:23:44,637
All right, start the motor.
535
00:23:47,076 --> 00:23:48,692
What did you do in there?!
536
00:23:48,744 --> 00:23:50,143
Are you gonna take us?
537
00:23:50,212 --> 00:23:51,278
I can't take you.
538
00:23:51,347 --> 00:23:53,447
I told you, it was
a unanimous vote!
539
00:23:53,515 --> 00:23:55,449
No wives are going on the trip.
540
00:23:55,517 --> 00:23:57,851
Look, they talked me
into it. Didn't they, Norton?
541
00:23:57,919 --> 00:23:58,919
No comment.
542
00:24:00,655 --> 00:24:02,939
There you are, see?
Honest, I can't take you.
543
00:24:03,008 --> 00:24:04,942
I don't want to make
a fool out of myself.
544
00:24:05,011 --> 00:24:06,160
Can't you understand what
545
00:24:06,228 --> 00:24:07,739
this fishing trip
means to us, Ralph?
546
00:24:07,763 --> 00:24:08,795
Don't you realize Trixie
547
00:24:08,864 --> 00:24:10,242
and I went and bought outfits?
548
00:24:10,266 --> 00:24:13,067
And why? 'Cause we had
some kind of a crazy idea
549
00:24:13,135 --> 00:24:15,135
that you might like
to take us along.
550
00:24:15,204 --> 00:24:17,371
I'd love to take you...
Never mind, Ralph.
551
00:24:17,439 --> 00:24:19,205
Never mind.
552
00:24:19,275 --> 00:24:20,874
There you are.
553
00:24:20,942 --> 00:24:22,876
Now you can go... alone.
554
00:24:22,945 --> 00:24:24,328
Come on, Trixie.
555
00:24:24,397 --> 00:24:25,397
Okay.
556
00:24:28,401 --> 00:24:30,767
I hope you have a very
pleasant day, Ralph.
557
00:24:30,836 --> 00:24:32,769
Yeah, enjoy yourself.
558
00:24:50,590 --> 00:24:52,790
Well... Well, I guess
we got away with it.
559
00:24:52,858 --> 00:24:54,024
You can say that.
560
00:24:54,093 --> 00:24:55,503
It took a little
doin', but we did it.
561
00:24:55,527 --> 00:24:58,095
Next time we say somethin',
they'll know that we mean it.
562
00:24:58,164 --> 00:25:02,166
You can say that again.
Well, we're off to fish.
563
00:25:08,824 --> 00:25:11,041
What's wrong?
564
00:25:11,110 --> 00:25:12,809
You know what's wrong.
565
00:25:14,079 --> 00:25:15,879
Alice!
566
00:25:15,948 --> 00:25:17,514
Hey, Trixie!
567
00:25:17,583 --> 00:25:19,850
Come on down, Alice!
You can come with us.
568
00:25:19,918 --> 00:25:21,485
Hurry up, will ya?
569
00:25:30,512 --> 00:25:34,514
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