All language subtitles for Succession.S01E07.NORDiC.720p.WEB-DL.H.265.DDP5.1.Atmos-CiNEMiX

( siren whoops
in distance )

- Mr. Roy.
- ( Logan grunts )

Hey, Logan Roy!
Mind if I get a quick photo?

- I’m a big fan.
- Step back.

Big, big fan.
I-I love your work.

I love everything you do.
I love all the racism, misogyny--

Step off.

- It’s really cool stuff!
- Security!

Woman:
Logan, over here!

( all shouting )

Man:
My fuckin’ piss!

You’re fuckin’
monopolist scum!

- Did it get in your eye?
- Man: I hope you die!

Colin:
Can you open this up, please?

- I want no one else in here.
- All right, stay back.

- ( turns on water )
- ( mutters )

Colin:
Can we get another shirt down here?

We had an incident outside
with Mr. Roy.

Stewy:
How many people do you think pissed in that bag

to get all that piss?

I mean, it’s just urine.

Logan:
I’m good, I’m good.

No fuss, no fuss,
I’m good. OK?

( sighs )

- Are you OK?
- Logan: Fine.

Don’t get all over me.

- OK?
- OK.

These trust fund
YouTube shits.

Ugh. God, we had
a couple of these guys--

I’m here. OK?

Now, I understand

you want me to go through
my every thought with you.

I appreciate
finally getting a chance

to talk through
these very major moves you’re considering, yes.

We’ve become aware

of some very desirable assets
that are available.

A block of local TV stations.

Highly undervalued.

Teevvvee--

Oh, I remember those.

We still have one of those
in my gym.

Oh, it’s so great to have
the wisdom of my son’s

college drinking buddy
in the room.

I just love the way
he asks me for money.

( laughs )
No, I get it.

But there is a pressing issue,
right?

Well, it’s part of
a larger strategy.

No, I-- I get all that.

I’m just-- All right.

I think the issue here, sir,

is that everyone
fucking hates you.

It’s cloudy,
it’s sunny.

You want to push through
a massive

politically sensitive buy-up,

and I’m reading this
over my morning cappuccino.

It says your family
is a horror show

and it’s destroying America.

( clears throat )

Hmm.

- Maybe we should buy this.
- ( Stewy chuckles )

Kendall launched a lawsuit
against you.

You have fired
half of your board.

- Your COO is a fucking joke.
- Whoa.

Bro, that’s what
people are saying. Who cares if it’s true?

People say that
he’s a coked-up dauphin

that doesn’t know
shit from Shinola,

and that the two of you
aren’t even talking to each other,

which I am getting a vibe of.

Now, I could care less,

but even the advance whispers
of this local TV deal

have people so mad at you

that they’re throwing piss
at you on the street.

We don’t know that
it was actually piss.

It was piss.

You want to go
on a shopping spree.

I trust you, but can we please
fix the visuals?

This is a family business.

But the family is fucked,

and it’s hurting the stock.

( theme music playing )

Gil Eavis ( on video ):
Whenever war has tested this nation,

we have won out.

And that is what I believe
we face right now.

Nothing less than a war

against human inequality,

a war we must fight

to stop unimaginably vast
power and riches

falling into the hands

of an impossibly small
number of men.

I’m not afraid of this fight.

I know you’re not either.

This fight starts here.

I’m Gil Eavis,
and I approved this message.

I don’t know,
this class war shit,

don’t you find it
a little jejune?

- Jejune?
- Yeah. It means juvenile.

Yeah, I--
I know what it means.

I just thought only assholes
said it.

- No, I do not find it jejune.
- Is this you pulling my hair?

Because why did you
bring me in for this? I’m not a good fit.

I genuinely believe
he’s gonna be the next president of the United States.

And you know me,
I don’t believe in anything.

Are you finished
with Joyce now?

Yeah. That’s as far
as she’ll go.

OK. Gil could really use
someone like you.

And this wouldn’t
be a problem?

What?

The atmosphere.

I think as long
as we have clarity.

- Yeah. Right. Clarity.
- Right.

And to be clear,

at absolutely any place
at any time,

with absolutely
no consequences,

I would fuck you,

and will want desperately
to fuck you.

And that is just
a permanent state of affairs.

( short laugh )

I just want you to know
that is my position.

You have all the power.

You can do whatever
you want with it.

When did we start
having to do this shit, Gerri?

The journalist
is Leo Lorenzetti.

The piece will be,
"After the turmoil, the coming together."

At your son’s ranch.

A family, a dynasty,

an American story.

It’ll be a very
compelling package.

And what’s this shit?
Who’s this guy Alon?

Karolina:
Very highly regarded corporate therapist.

Harvard Business School.

Former CFO
at a Fortune 500.

He just worked with
the Sultan of Brunei,

and the Bolkiah family.

Do they all
have to be there?

Does the traitor come too?

Well, obviously,
that’s your choice.

But the message, I think,

is a family reunited
in the desert.

A time to reflect, regroup.

Family unity is kind of
what you’re going for.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Gerri: And frankly, Logan,

if you can get Kendall
to drop the lawsuit,

everything becomes cleaner
for us, acquisition-wise.

OK. Well, I’m not groveling.

Get Romulus on the phone.

Let’s do the email.

Hey, Shiv.

It’s Con. Listen,
did you get this email from Dad

about therapy?

’Cause, I mean,

this is, like, wow!

So I just need to check
that it’s not

one of those spam things
or something.

All right, so call me.

Tom:
I like Gil-- people like Gil, he’s great--

but I have a sneaking feeling
that if he won an election

he’d probably like to
line me up and everyone I know and shoot us.

- Holy fuck. No way.
- What?

Hang on.

( phone chiming )

Hmm.

- Hey.
- Have you seen this?

I can’t believe it.
Dad’s doing therapy?

I thought you weren’t
talking to me because

I didn’t tell you
about the vote.

I’m not. But what the fuck.

Oh! Very much the fuck.

Very much the fuck indeed.

The big man is breakin’ down,
and everyone’s invited.

Well, not Kendall.

- Everybody.
- This is bullshit.

What’s he doing?

- Gotta go. See ya.
- Please, Mr. Roy--

- I need to talk to Kendall.
- He’s not available.

What do you mean
he’s not available?

What is he doing,
playing with his fucking Legos?

He’s nothing but available.

He isn’t here right now.

Well, I know that’s not true,

so just come on, OK?

He hasn’t been here
for weeks.

- I’m sorry.
- Bullshit. OK, look,

will you just
give him a message?

- No, thank you.
- Tell him--

( laughs )
"No, thank you"--

Tell him to reply
to the email,

that he has to come. OK?

Tell him that--

Hey. Dad wants--

Hey. Um, no.

No, I don’t think
he’s gonna play ball.

He’s not talking. No way
he’s gonna drop the lawsuit.

OK, that’s fine, Roman.

- No?
- No.

OK. Plan B.

Operation Black Sheep.

( phone chiming )

( continues chiming )

- Hey.
- Rava: Hey. You OK?

Yeah, I’m fine. What’s up?

Oh, what time are we doing
the pickup?

Do you ever look
at Sophie’s Instagram?

I was monitoring,

and one of the older kids
linked to that shitty article about you.

What article?

I haven’t been looking
at anything. Deliberately, Rava.

"Kendall Roy
ran the streets of New York,

sweaty and incoherent,

ranting about a coup
against his father,

but couldn’t find his way
to the board room to start said coup.

Is he back on drugs?

We couldn’t possibly say,

but some people
are saying that."

Rava, listen to me.

OK, that’s-- That’s not true.

- Yeah.
- OK? That’s not true.

Mm-hmm. It’s just
that’s what you used to say

when it was true.

Jesus, I’m not using, Rava.

I-- I don’t touch anything.

And you know that.
Jesus Christ. Come on.

But look, unrelated,

this weekend
Iverson’s got his tests

and if we break his routine,
it’s gonna affect things.

- You know?
- No. No.

Fuck, come on.

Please don’t get angry.

I’m not-- I’m not fucking angry.

OK? I want to see my kids.

I’m not on drugs,
I’m not touching drugs,

I don’t use drugs anymore,
I’m not on drugs,

I’m not on fucking drugs.

Yeah, it’s the paranoid rant
that’s so convincing.

( magazine hits floor )

( sighs )

Tom:
Well, I actually think

it’s really brave to go.

Oh, thank you. I’m a hero.

- Hmm.
- Ugh.

Can you imagine?

Connor, Dad, Roman, feelings?

It’s gonna be like
tossing a bag of Uzis into the soft play area.

I know your dad
doesn’t believe

you didn’t know
what Kendall was up to,

and he spoke abominably to you.

And, um, just for context,

do you think
it would be appropriate this weekend,

in a bridge-building way,

for me to be speaking to Logan,
or no?

Just do what
you think is right.

Yeah, sure. I got it.
I just, you know,

I want to have your back,

and, uh,
there’s also my back,

and, you know,
we’re a beast with two backs.

I get it.
You’re your own guy.

I won’t judge you.

Yeah, sure, I know that.
I know that.

- Willa: Hi!
- Connor: Hey, Marcia!

( Connor laughs )

- Hi!
- Hey, Dad!

Welcome to Austerlitz!

Logan:
Thank you, thank you.

- Ah. It exists!
- Yeah.

Marcia:
Austerlitz? Was this the name when you bought it?

Willa:
Oh, it was racially insensitive,

so he picked a new one.

Do you want me
to show you inside?

Karolina:
Hi, Connor.

Hi, Karolina.

So, son, have you got
somewhere for them to set up?

So you’re also working?

Just a few folks
doing photographs and stuff.

- Oh? Uh--
- Chroniclers of everything.

OK.

OK. You bet.

- Great place. Plenty of space.
- Yeah.

This works.

Oh, good.

Hey! I see you!

- Hey!
- Tom: Hey!

Hi!

Hello to the metropolitan elite!

Welcome to the real America.

Tom:
Oh, man of the people.

The people who work
on his ranch.

- Hi!
- Let me hug you.

Connor:
What do you think?

Wow. Yeah.

- It’s brown.
- Connor: Yeah, it is.

- Is that a church?
- Yeah, that’s the chapel.

We’re gonna be
in there tomorrow.

That chapel dates to 1878.

- Cool!
- It’s a chapel.

Do you think Dad will be able
to cross the threshold?

Or will be spontaneously
combust?

Good question.

Why don’t you guys
get settled in,

and then join us for cocktails
this evening.

Connor:
Randall owns the next ranch over.

I told him to pop in.
Just wanted to say hi.

He’s very big in pesticides.

Logan:
Uh-huh. I don’t need any.

Ho! Yeah, that’s what
everybody says.

Nah, I’m always
ribbing him.

Did you know that three
out of every hundred bunches of grapes

has over the legal limit
of pesticides?

So you wash ’em.

You can’t wash your colon,
Mr. Poison.

Why, I oughta--

( imitates James Cagney)
Smart guy, put ’em up!

He thinks
she knew about the coup.

So Logan will talk to Shiv
as long as she says "sorry."

Well, I think
that Shiv’s position would be

that she’s got nothing
to be sorry for.

I mean, obviously
she’s sad,

you know,
there’s sadness.

We could offer that.

( phone buzzing )

OK. The entertainment
has arrived.

This is like a--
like the first stages of an orgy.

Kind of exciting,
but also super-awkward.

- There. I did it.
- Did what?

I just iced your dad.

- Hey, Tom.
- Hey.

Can I...

Uh, yeah,
I’m not in charge of you.

But go get me a drink.

I’m joking.

Roman:
So where’s the actual head doctor guy?

I wouldn’t know.
No one tells me anything.

Well, hope he can cure
your serious case of being a bitch.

Ow. Fuck.

( laughs )
Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Bet Dad’s gonna try
and win at therapy.

Well, he hasn’t done therapy
with me yet. I’m an expert.

- Oh, yeah?
- Oh, yeah.

This is what it looks like
when you resolve all your issues.

- Uh-huh.
- Mm-hmm.

My guy says that
if Dad had had therapy,

I wouldn’t need so much.

My guy’s surprised
I got through at all.

I’m not sure you did
make it through at all.

( mocking ) I don’t think....
dee-dee, dah-doo, bah-dee...

See, I will have you know
I am very well-adjusted.

You... you’re just good
at hiding it.

- Mr. Parfit is here.
- Thank you.

OK, Randall,

I hate to kick you out,

but I have word
Elvis is in the building.

- OK.
- I’ll see ya, buddy.

I just want you to know

I think I’m going to
reveal to him

that you sexually abused me
as a child.

- Excuse me?
- Yeah. You just would not stop.

You are one sick puppy.

You’re the one who kept
trying to fuck me.

Why would you say that?
Stop saying that.

You don’t really think that,
do you?

No. I’m fuckin’ with you.

The way you fucked me
as a baby.

What is wrong with you?
You’re exasperating.

This one is threatening
to tell the family

that I diddled him
when he was a little kid.

Oh. Right.
Did you?

No, of course not, Tom.

- Connor.
- Oh. Hi.

Alon Parfit.

- Hey. Hi.
- Nice to see you.

- Happy you’re here.
- You must be Broman.

Yes, I am. Broman.

- And Shiv.
- Yeah.

- Hey. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you...?

This is Tom.
Shiv’s fiancé.

Not important.
To the therapy.

- Uh, Con?
- Come meet Dad.

Yeah, please.

- Hi.
- Logan Roy.

- This is Marcia.
- Nice to meet you.

And this is my girlfriend Willa.

- Nice to meet you.
- Hi, Willa, how are you?

Right. Family. Um...

we’re all gathered here
in this beautiful home

because there are things
to address,

and I believe we should...
address them.

I think I explained
all around

that we’ll also have

a small celebration
of our coming together,

with photographs, tomorrow.

Nothing fancy. Simple. Simple.

Anyway, without more ado,
let me introduce to you,

Alon Parfit.

Hi, everyone.

I look forward to
us all sitting down tomorrow,

but I just want to say
it takes a lot of courage,

and that is not lost on me.

Uh...

I’m very touched.

- Yeah, me too.
- Connor: Thanks.

This family’s broken,
and that has consequences.

A missed phone call today,

a couple dozen kids
lose their jobs in China.

Butterfly wings,
but bigger.

Huge wings.
Like a pterodactyl.

Or the Smithsonian.

So... let’s fix our wings.

Barely comprehensible.

Kendall:
Morning.

Man:
It is gassed up and ready to go.

- Your key.
- Thank you.

Big plans
while you’re here?

Maybe.

Patricide?
Fratricide?

OK. Sounds like fun.

- Enjoy.
- Oh, yeah.

( phone buzzing )

- Yeah?
- Nate: Good morning.

We’re here.
You ready to do this?

What?

- No, wait. Now?
- No shit.

I’m in a hotel
in Santa Fe.

Well, I c-can’t now.

I mean, the whole reason
I came down here is to do this family thing,

and that’s today. So...

So?

Can he reschedule?

He’s pretty fuckin’ busy.

Ahh. Oh, fuck.

Doesn’t look good,
turning him down.

Well, obviously I want to--

Come on, Shiv,
this is huge.

- But I can’t. Right now.
- Tom: Hey, honey,

the pressure on the faucet’s
moderately intense, so go easy.

- I gotta go.
- Shiv--

Fuck.

Tom:
Hey. Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, it’s gonna be OK.

It’s going to be OK.

Want me to come in there
with you?

Into the emotional swamp?
Huh?

Pretty soon I’m gonna be
part of this whole genetic carnival.

- It’s OK.
- You sure?

Yeah.

Alon:
Morning.

OK. Let’s do this.

The therapy?
This way for the therapy.

Whoo.

( chuckles )

( Roman humming
funeral dirge )

Like waving your kids
off to school.

They better not
gang up on him.

He’s still frail.

Roll up, roll up,

for the festival
of grievances.

- Logan: OK, son? Good.
- Connor: Yeah.

OK. Great.

So, welcome, welcome.

I like to begin these things

with a little prayer.

Uh, they fuck you up,
your mom and dad.

They do not mean to,
but they do.

They fill you up
with faults they had

and add some extra
just for you.

Now, I always think
that’s an interesting way

to start these things,

but what I’d like to know is,

how you feel
you would like to start this.

So...

who’s going to tell us
why we are here today?

Come on. Does no one
want to take a pop at the champ?

- Can I just say--
- Alon: Sure.

I never touched Roman
inappropriately.

If he says I did,
I didn’t.

Shiv:
Glad to clear that up.

He was gonna make
a horrible joke, so I’m preempting.

Alon: OK. OK.

But I think the best way
to start this--

Uh. I’ll start
if you’d like.

Alon:
Yeah, Please.

Um... everything
I’ve done in my life,

I’ve done for my children.

I know I’ve made mistakes,

but, um,

I’ve always tried to do
the best by them...

because... they mean
everything to me.

OK. That was great.

Thank you.

- Well, that’s nice.
- It is nice.

Yeah, sure.
Agreed.

So, what do we feel about
what we just heard here?

I mean, I hear it.

I hear it.

Uh-huh. Big words.

Good words.

Oh. I’m still... processing,

but yeah.

Logan, do you realize
how much power you wield in this room?

What do you mean?

He has a lot of power
everywhere.

Alon:
What I guess I’m asking is,

how do you feel about
what you just said?

Look, everything I’ve done
in my life

I’ve done for my children.

- I know I’ve made mistakes--
- Uh, Dad,

you can’t just use
the one sentence.

But that’s how I feel, Siobhan.

I can make this shit up
if you like.

Sounds like you already are.

- Shiv?
- Look, I’m...

I guess where I’m coming from is

I’m having a hard time
diving in because

honestly, I’m wondering why
he brought us here in the first place.

I mean, was it for
this photo opportunity?

Logan:
No, no, of course not.

I wouldn’t have brought you here
for a photo and an interview--

Sorry. Excuse me?
There’s an interview now?

- Well, I told you, photo and--
- No, you didn’t.

What, so this is essentially
a publicity event?

It’s optional.
There won’t be questions.

This is not OK.

I have a publicist
for this stuff.

Fuck. Con, did you
know about this?

I think the picture is OK.

I think it’s nice.

Rome?

I don’t mind.

Alon:
Logan, have you thought about the possibility

that your children
are actually scared of you?

Aw, fuck off.

After what they’ve done to me?
Fuck off!

Tell me, do you think

you’ll always do
what you do?

What, the theater?

Yes, and what you do for money.

Uh-huh.

Uh, well, you know,
I like my life,

and kind of just
go with the flow,

so yeah, I think I’ll just
slide more over

into producing or writing
or directing.

I knew a woman in Paris,
she did what you do.

She was very intelligent.

Oh, thank you.

And do you want children?

Um, I don’t know.
Maybe one day.

Don’t wait.
That’s all I will say.

The old biological clock
starts a-ticking.

You could always freeze.

That’s a way
of putting off life.

I’d like Shiv to freeze.
Embryos, not eggs.

A little bit of me in the bank.

Thought about that?

Ahh, so much advice! Wow!

You know, my friend from Paris
who was your way?

She actually was murdered.

It was nothing to do
with her being a prostitute,

it was to do with a restaurant
that went poof!

What?

( car alarm chirps )

( chatter )

( billiard balls clack )

Hey, do you have any
non-alcoholic beer?

No. Sorry.

OK. How about sparkling water?

Mm-hmm.

You a tourist?

Uh, kind of.

Hmm.

Oh. Fancy.

Kendall Roy?

You here
visiting family?

Connor Roy?

What?

No, it’s OK,
I probably think the same.

- Yeah. There’s just stories.
- Like?

Like, he came in here
one night,

he had this dog with cancer
that he couldn’t let the vet kill

but he couldn’t
watch it die either,

so he dragged that thing
around the whole bar

asking somebody
if they’d take it and give it a good life.

He said, "I’ll pay you.
I just can’t watch."

Anyway, Skunkhead Tanner
over there

took three grand,
shot her in the parking lot.

Jesus.

- What?
- None of your business.

I was talking
about Skunkhead.

Don’t talk shit
about me, Janelle.

Oh, really?
( laughs )

Hey, also, can I get
a double Smirnoff rocks?

- Lime?
- No.

Keep it open.

Heard you killed
my brother’s dog.

Alon:
Look, can we go back to our agreement

where we put aside
our cell phones,

just focus on what’s
going on this room?

Can we do that?

I’m trying to buy a number
of television stations.

OK, but could you
do it later?

Fine. Tell me
what more you want and I’ll dance the dance.

I guess what I want
is for you to tell us

how you are feeling?

- How I’m feeling?
- Mm-hmm.

I feel...

I need to check my emails.

That’s not a feeling, Dad.

Maybe don’t deny
Dad’s feelings, Shiv.

I turned down something huge
to be here, and you’re gonna tank it.

- I’m doing therapy.
- I don’t think you are.

Logan: I am.

Now you’re denying
their feelings, Dad.

Look, what I think we should
really have a conversation about

is the fact that
Kendall’s not here.

And that’s because
there are reports of him

running around
taking drugs.

And I, for one, don’t know where
those have come from.

You don’t have
to worry about that.

What does that mean?

I’m not getting into that
today. It’s beyond the remit.

I don’t really think
there is a remit, Dad.

I had nothin’ to do
with those stories.

Shiv, do you believe
your father?

- Well...
- Alon: Go on.

Honestly, no.

I think this whole thing
is fake.

Alon:
Roman?

I don’t know.

I don’t know.

- No.
- Roman: I mean,

he might not
have meant to, but...

- no, I don’t believe him.
- I’m sorry!

I’m sorry!

All right?!

I’m finished.

I’ll apologize as much
as you fuckin’ like,

but I can’t
get into everything.

That’s it.

Alon:
You know, Logan,

if I’m asked if I thought
that you participated in this family therapy

in an earnest way,

I don’t think that I could
answer in good conscience

that you have.

Fine. I apologize.

Maybe I’m hungry.

I got nothin’ to hide.

OK.

How about we take a break

and begin again,
clean slate, this afternoon?

Hmm?

So come on, come on,
tell me.

What did everybody say
in there? Huh?

Was it nothing too horrible
or upsetting?

Was it just disgusting?

Hey, I’m gonna
go down to Santa Fe to meet Gil.

Oh. What? So everything
has been resolved in there?

Yeah. Totally.

We’re all completely sane.
All resolved.

Uh-huh. Come on.

- Can I take a car?
- What’s up?

- Wait. What are you doing?
- The Tesla.

I’m going into town.
I’ve got a meeting.

I’m not gonna take this
seriously if no one else is.

Connor:
But we’re getting somewhere, Shiv.

I can feel it.
He’s breaking down.

You’re sweet and I love you,
but you’re delusional.

Well, you can’t do that.
Is that allowed?

Well, I think Shiv
is capable of making an adult decision.

But here’s what
I was thinkin’.

Why don’t we all
take a break? Huh?

Just get out of our heads
and into our good bodies.

You know? Let’s go for a swim.

Everybody. You know?
Get your dad out there.

- Dad can’t swim.
- Shiv: Yeah.

He doesn’t even trust water.

It’s too wishy-washy.

Can I have the keys?

- Thank you.
- Seriously?

Yeah.

- Hey, Willa.
- Yeah?

Hey, honey,

do you know about
the family photo for later?

Yeah, it’ll be nice.

Yeah, well, um,

there was an idea
that maybe you should sit it out.

- Uh-huh.
- I’m sorry.

No, no, it’s OK.
I’ll probably end up getting murdered anyway.

Nobody’s
murdering you.

- ( sighs )
- You’re adorable.

You’re unmurderable.
( laughs )

Um... Look, you know--

You know I appreciate you.

I appreciate you, too.

And I think you’re better
than all of them.

Th-Thank you.

Look, I know that
we talked about this before,

but I was just wondering

if you could...

well, would you...

I don’t know how to say this,

except to say
that love is a strange and peculiar affliction.

It’s-- It’s like a virus.

So could you please
just stay here for a while...

- and maybe you’ll catch it.
- Con.

What I mean is that
you would have an allowance

and you would
continue to write

and you continue
to travel to New York,

and I would help you
build a life in the theater.

Gosh, that’s a lot.

Yeah, but we have
so many great ideas.

Yeah. Sure. No, we do.

So we could do family,
but we could do it different.

I mean...

we could try.

Exactly! Why not?
Yeah?

Yeah!

- Yeah?
- Yeah. ( laughs )

Hey, I love you.

And... I, um...

I love you.

See? That wasn’t so hard,
was it? ( laughs )

OK. Lot of wolf stuff.

Yeah, man,
I love the wolves.

Uh-huh.

- He really likes the wolves.
- Yeah. Cool.

My mom says
I was a wolf child.

That’s ’cause she never bothered
to take care of you, Chang.

That’s just fuckin’ salesmanship
of her neglect.

- ( imitates wolf howling )
- Kendall: Nice.

- You get wolves here?
- Nope.

- No? OK.
- Fuckin’ wish.

I never did meth.

And I’m technically sober,

so this is kind
of an experiment.

( laughs )

There we go.

Wow.
( clears throat )

There’s a thing now
that Type A’s actually can’t get addicted.

Ya know? ’Cause
we are addicted.

You know, if it wasn’t
for wolves, we couldn’t speak.

It’s from having to
tell dogs what to do

that we actually had a need
to talk out loud,

you know, to command ’em?

You guys, come on.
We got a real person.

Let’s not attack his brain.

We should
get some more.

- Chang: Fuck, yeah.
- Yeah?

And, uh,
maybe some weed.

- Right.
- Some Oxys, some...

some goodies.

So, you like it?

Experiment successful.

I am interested
in becoming a meth head.

Chang: Yeah.

Tanner:
Well, we’re the fuckin’ right people, dude!

- Alon: Hey.
- Hi. You comin’ in?

- Oh, yeah.
- Good.

Roman:
Don’t be afraid of what’s down there.

Pretend it’s our subconscious
and just go for it.

I know how to dive.

Yeah, you gotta jump.

- You want me to jump?
- All: Jump! Jump! Jump!

- Jump, ya fuckin’ pussy!
- Jump! Jump! Jump!

Excuse me, there’s been
an accident in the pool.

Logan:
What did he say?

Marcia:
An accident in the pool.

We don’t know if he got
a head injury, or...

He just dived in
and he hit the bottom.

- Did you hit your head?
- ( Alon mumbling )

- He hit his teeth?
- His teeth are in his head,

Connor, it’s kind of
a central feature.

It’s clearly signed.
What were you thinking?

Shall I call an ambulance?

I didn’t think he’d jump
in headfirst. Hi, Karolina.

Hey, Roman.
Don’t let him go to sleep.

( muffled ) I don’t want to go
to fuckin’ sleep!

Let’s take a look.
The bleeding always

makes it look worse
than it actually--

Jesus Christ!

Let’s take him
to the hospital.

- Really?
- Roman: No, you’re OK, man.

It’s OK.
You look OK.

It’ll be faster if I just
take him myself.

No, no, no, send your guys.
Send Colin.

- We should stay.
- No, I want to help him ou--

I want to make sure
he’s not litigious.

Fuckin’ great! And I was about
to take advice from a clown

who dives headfirst into
the shallow end of the pool! And now everyone’s fucking off!

It’s OK. I got you.

Roman is here.

He’s here for the photos,
for everything.

- Sure. I give good cheekbone.
- Logan: OK.

Nate: Gil.

Siobhan Roy.

The acceptable face of
the worst family in America.

Yeah. Gil Eavis.
Stalin in a plaid shirt.

( laughs )

OK. Well, happy meeting.

So... how are you?

Really?

Well, my family’s fucked.

I’m not talking about to my dad,
and my brother’s suing my dad.

Sorry. If family isn’t right,
nothing feels right.

Yeah. And how are you?

You gonna go for it?

I’m feeling really good.

Suffered some depression
last year after everything,

but, um... I’m good.

And so, what, you want me
to handle the message on that?

No. That’s just the truth.

Look, Siobhan,

I’m not gonna
make you do a dance.

I’m finalizing. Nate and me
want you on the team.

What do you think?

Well, I think
you’re too radical.

( laughs )

I’m not telling you
anything you don’t know.

The good politician,
he figures out what people need

and then he sells it back
to them as what they want.

So... this is a job offer?

Well, yes.

But there’s an issue.

What, my name?

One section of my base
would be outraged for me even meeting with you.

Yeah, well, that section
has nowhere else to go, so fuck ’em.

( softly ) Yeah.

Look, if I’m gonna win big
the way I want to,

to remake this country
for the better--

Ooh! La-dee-dah.

I need to spike
your father’s guns.

The papers, the news channels.

I can’t help with that.

No, no, no, of course.
Of course.

But I’m gonna go
for his throat.

Legally, legislatively,

hearings, referrals.

I thought I should tell you.

It’ll be ugly.

And how do you know
that I won’t betray you?

Well, I guess I trust you.

I can work with Nate,
but I can’t work for Nate.

It’s fine, it’s just a--
it’s a preposition thing.

We can figure all that out.

The bigger question is,

do you want this enough
to go to war with your family?

( camera shutter clicks )

Can we do
the walking and talking?

- What?
- Walking and talking.

- He wants us to be talking.
- Oh.

- That looks good.
- Thank you.

- We look great, apparently.
- Uh-huh.

I want you to call Japan.

We got the office
set up here.

I’m tickling Sandy on local.

I want you to get into
the government issues

- of the launch detail.
- Right. Sure.

Do you actually want me
to do that, or are you just

- saying shit for the camera?
- No.

You’re a COO,
aren’t you?

- Huh?
- Yeah.

- Well?
- Sure. I got it.

I mean,
I was just checking.

( camera shutter clicks )

Thank you, gentlemen.

That’s really grand.

- Yeah?
- This looks imperial here.

- Thank you.
- Thank you very much.

- Did he say "imperial"?
- Imperial.

What the hell
does that mean?

( exhales )

Yeah, he’s good.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

So?

( laughs )
I don’t--

I don’t know.

I--

OK.

- OK?
- OK.

Right?

Fuck, yes.

I mean, I told him
that he would have to fire you

if he was gonna hire me, but...

- It’s fine.
- OK.

- For the good of the country.
- Right.

My Airbnb has a, um...

memory foam mattress.

( laughs )

How ’bout we...

give it some... memories?

Ooh. Wow.

( starts engine )

Turn it off.

Turn it off.

( engine off )

Let’s just...
( clears throat )

sit here a minute and--

so I can think.

( dog barks in distance )

Chang:
He sees Oprah walkin’ down the street,

he’s like, "Oprah,
you get a car. You get a car."

He’s so rich
he needs a golf cart to pass the salt.

- ( snorting )
- He’s so rich

his goldfish wear furs.

Yeah, yeah, fish fur.

He’s so rich that his sperm
has little top hats

and monocles and shit.

Yeah. "Good day, vagina.

May I enter thou?"

You know, I don’t even care
that you’re richer than us.

I mean, who’s better off,
ultimately?

I mean, clearly, you are,
but... fuck it, who cares?

I do.

Guys, I gotta
make a quick call.

- Yeah, go for it.
- Yeah.

( phone chiming, buzzing )

- Uh, hey.
- Kendall: Bro.

I’ve got a lot of
important information in play.

- What? Where are you?
- I’m in New Mexico.

- What?
- I realize now.

Are you high?

No. I’m at some guy’s house.

I mean, yeah,
we been taking drugs,

but I’m very clear.

Uh, can you drop me a pin
so I know you’re OK?

We’re OK. There--
That’s nothing wrong with us.

Just drop me
a fucking pin. I’m not gonna come get you.

Do it now.
Are you doing it?

Yeah, OK. Hold on.

Here ya go.

OK. I’m comin’
to get you, man.

Are you doing the call?

Uh, yeah, uh, yes. I will.

But, um, I’m going
to get Kendall.

He’s here,
and he’s not great.

OK, go. Go. Go.

Yeah, OK. But no, I will.
I’ll make the call.

( knock on door )

- Who the fuck is that?
- Oh.

- Roman: Kendall.
- ( knocks )

- Who the fuck is that?
- It’s cool, it’s my brother.

It’s cool. Let him in.

Jesus. Fuck.

Chang. Let him in, man.

Thank you.

Oh! Wow. Hi.

Gonna offer me
a cup of tea?

I like what you’ve done
with the wolves.

Yo, Chang, show him--
show him your wolf tattoo.

Do the howl, Chang.

( howls )

Wow. Funny and cool.

Yo. This is Chang, Tanner,

that’s Mac.

Roman:
So great to meet you guys.

Let’s get outta here.
Come on.

You know, I was thinking
I probably shouldn’t talk to you

given the ongoing situation

apropos of my legal action
against you

as a board member
for your failure to fulfill your fiduciary duty

and breaching
my employment contract,

but then, I don’t know,
but then I thought, "Who fucking cares?"

What-- Is this--

What is this?

What is this, fuckin’ crank?

We’ve been having
a lot of fun, Mom.

( snickers )

Yeah. That’s good.

Yo, seriously.
You should try this.

I would love to,
some other time.

I hear that shit
makes you crash like an airbus full of eggs.

Not if you stay high.

Tanner makes good points.

I think this lighter
is fucked.

That is
a really good point.

You know what?
Let’s get the fuck out of here.

Come on.

That’s enough.
I can fix that. Here.

- ( lighter clatters )
- Oh, hey,

how’s the family therapy?

Oh, the therapy?
It was total bullshit.

He didn’t even do it.

- He didn’t do it?
- No. He didn’t.

- Come on.
- I’m coming. Let’s do it.

Hey, man,
your friend sucks.

- That’s my brother.
- Your brother sucks.

He’s actually--
You know what?

- He’s OK.
- Roman: Thanks.

Our people will reach out
to your people.

Hey, Kendall!
Tell Bill Gates

my computer’s fucked up from
all the fuckin’ updates, man!

You OK?

Yeah, I’m-- I’m fine.

Should I call
a doctor? Rava?

You want me to hit a kid
so I can steal his kidneys?

- ( phone chimes )
- Fuck. I’m sorry.

I have to make a call.
It’s the...

It’s the launch in Japan thing.

Um, is that cool?

It’s OK.

Yeah?

You do your call.

OK.

♪ Eee-eee-eee-um-um-aweh ♪

No. No Lion King.

( singing along with
"The Lion Sleeps Tonight" )

♪ ...eee-um-uma-wey ♪

Yeah, could you--

♪ A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh ♪

♪ A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh ♪

♪ A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh ♪

( turns off car stereo )
Sorry.

- ( turns music back on )
- ♪ A-weema-weh, a-weema-wey ♪

What, are you fuckin’ four?
Will ya knock it off?

I’m trying to drive the car
and not have a-weema-weh in my fucking face.

- ♪ The mighty jungle ♪
- That’s enough!

- ♪ The lion sleeps-- ♪
- ( Kendall laughing )

( indistinct chatter )

- Tom: Hey!
- Shiv: Oh, hey!

- Hey.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Hi.

You’re late.

So, what happened
with the fake therapy?

Any pretend breakthroughs?
Any good performances?

Nothing.
Our therapist died.

- What?
- Metaphorically speaking.

He smashed his teeth out
in the pool.

Oh, my God.

Freud would have had
a field day.

Where you been?

I was meeting
about a prospective job.

With your father’s enemy?

OK, I’m gonna go to bed.

I keep an eye on things,
Siobhan.

I keep an eye.

What is that supposed to mean?

I mean, I had a meeting.

You do whatever
the hell you like,

on everything, forever--

Why don’t we
chat this over in the morning?

Marcia:
And he has to hear it from his so-called friends,

on the phone,
dripping poison in his ear.

Kendall:
Fami-ly therapy!

- ( beating rhythm on window )
- Connor: Kenny.

Fami-ly therapy!
( beating rhythm )

Fami-ly therapy!

Kendall:
Hey, hey, hey!

What up, motherfuckers!

Sorry I’m late.
What are we arguing about?

- What’s wrong with him?
- Oh, where do we start?

I’m off my nut, folks.

- Off my fuckin’ nut.
- Shiv: Oh, my God.

Like all the papers said.

Your dreams have come true.
Congratulations.

Just so you know,
I think things are good with the launch.

- I talked to the guy--
- Kendall: He doesn’t care.

He doesn’t even fuckin’ notice.

Dad, give him a high five.

Cone on. He’s waiting. Dad?

You’d do that to me?
Eavis.

The one senate member
who wants to fuck me ragged.

On the same side
as those animals

that hit me with a bag of piss.

It’s my work, Dad.
You of all people ought to understand that.

Work?! It’s rebellion! Sabotage!

Shiv:
Yeah, of course, ’cause it’s all about you.

Not that I might be
in agreement with his points about the purchases,

or just maybe
his whole philosophy.

Philosophy?

This is nothing but a miserable
deliberate attempt

to undermine my whole
business strategy.

Kendall:
( laughs ) You don’t have a business strategy, Dad.

Your whole business model
is based on seducing presidents.

You’re a really
high-class hooker.

- No offense.
- Connor: Hey.

Fuck off.

It’s fine. My aunt’s an addict.

It’s been a long day.
It’s been really nice

getting to know you all
a bit better.

- Tom: Good night.
- Good night.

I gotta say I feel
a little bit used today, Pa.

Oh, for fuck’s sake.
Not you too.

Where we are
and all that’s happened,

and then even tonight
you have to go off and work?

I made some calls. Jesus.
Can’t you wait?

Can I wait for you
to finish a few calls?

Yeah, I think so, Pa.
I’ve had a bit of practice.

- Connor.
- Quite a bit.

Connor, your father
has been busy

dealing with
these two traitors.

Disagreeing with Dad
is not treason.

But trying to make one of
his biggest enemies president is kind of a "fuck you."

Oh, hey, Dad. Dad.

I like those stories
you planted about me.

That was...

- Yes. You forced my hand.
- There it is.

Yes! And he’s fuckin’ lucky
that was all.

What you kids
do not understand,

it’s all part of the game.

Kendall:
Oh, it’s all part of the game.

Come on, everybody.

It’s a rootin’-tooti’'
super fuckin’ fun game

for all the family!

Step right up!

You run towards politics to
prove that you’re your own man.

Fine. But that’s not principle.

You’re scared to compete.

You’re marrying a man
fathoms beneath you

because you don’t want to risk
being betrayed.

You’re a fucking coward.

Wow.

Wow, you are just beyond.

You know...
I was born lucky.

I’m a lucky person.

I realize that.

And you’re so fuckin’ jealous,
aren’t you?

You’re so fuckin’ jealous
of what you’ve given your own kids.

You can’t handle it.

You c-- You can’t work it out.

If I had spoken to my uncle
like that...

What? Hmm?
What would evil Uncle Noah do?

Calling your daughter
a coward till she cries?

- Big man.
- Logan. Logan. Logan.

Logan. Logan!

You are a fucking nobody.

Fuckin’ nobody.

- As always.
- Good to see you.

I’m sorry. You know.

- No. It’s fine.
- Well...

you know, it wasn’t great.

But you had some fun, right?

- Yeah.
- You had some fun here?

- OK. You come back and see me?
- Yeah.

- It was really fun.
- Buddy, I’m sorry.

- No, don’t.
- It was just such a drag.

No, no.
It was good fun.

- You had some fun, right?
- Yeah, absolutely.

- All right, bye.
- OK. Bye.

- Tom: Bye-bye.
- Call me.

It’s funny,
I wanted ’em all here.

But I feel relieved
they’re starting to go.

Hmm.

It’ll be nicer
when it’s just us.

How far is it
to a Starbucks?

- I have pods.
- OK. Great.

( snorts )

Marcia:
That’s it. There you go.

All right.

( music playing )