Original subtitles

"Wherever I am..."

"in whatever way..."

"your memories are always with me"

"Should I tell anyone...?"

"or should I not...?"

"it's a matter of the heart after all"

"lt's said that a world moves along with us"

"Even as solitude grows silently in the heart"

"All I have are memories"

"Your memories are with me"

"Somewhere in the heart..."

"an arrow pierces through the memories"

"Somewhere every picture..."

"dims a little"

"Some find happiness in the shades of a new world"

"Some find happiness in the shades of a new world"

"lt's said that a world moves along with us"

Even as solitude grows silently in the heart...

And all that remains are only memories.

"Memories of you..."

"And all that remains are only memories"

"Some months ago"

Just call me Bobby. Or B.B, short for Bobby Bedi.

A rose for a beautiful lady

I really like one thing about you. Your style is totally western...

but your thinking is purely lndian..

And... I like such girls.

Allow me.

Waiter...

Viagara for the lady... foi gras for the lady.

Abolenese malenara and mulitini pizza

That'll be all. Thank you.

Well, I must say something about you... - Sir, can I help you?

Not yet. I'm expecting someone.

Morn said this girl was born and brought up in London...

Excuse me...

Hi. - Greetings. Myself, Jasmeet Malhotra

Jasmeet Malhotra, daughter of Manmohan Malhotra?

Please have a seat. - Thank you.

Sorry... for you. - Thank you.

Would you like to order now, sir?

Orange juice. - And for madam?

I'll have a vodka, please. - Vodka...?

Will it be a large? - Yes. Thank you.

Hello

Jasmeet... are you ok?

Just call me Jazz. All my boyfriends call me Jazz!

Boyfriends? - There were nine...

one from every corner of the world.

But I only discuss eight of them...

Ok. - You know why?

Actually, the ninth was a distant relative of...

Osama Bin Laden

That boy was good too.

But now I'm just tired.

These one night stands, affairs, cigarettes,

alcohol and sex without romance...

Sex? - Of course

So I told mummy and daddy...

that now I want to get married to a nice Indian boy...

But the fact is, baby, since eighth grade...

I haven't had an Indian boyfriend.

But he too was quite useless, he couldn't even kiss properly...

I'm sure you know how to kiss, right?

Your's is ringing, mister! - Yes, and it's ringing loudly too!

But how did you hear it? - Are you crazy?

Mum...

Dad, Bobby was good...

and he's like God! He's so cool!

Yes, I liked him very much.

You want me to meet his mother too?

Sure, dad! Anytime! Whenever you say. Ok daddy, bye daddy.

Taxi.

I'm very sorry for what happened! I'm very sorry.

Yes... thank you.

Yeah, I like these. - Looks good on you.

We like yourjeans as well.

No sir, sorry. These jeans are for ladies only.

I know.

You want like this for your daughter. - Dad, I'll choose my own jeans

Oh! For your wife then? - Not really.

Dad! - Look, I've met someone.

My wife doesn't know about it yet. - You're having an affair?

You're having affair? Congratulations.

What kind of affair? ls it small one? Big one?

You see, I have a friend who specializes in handling affairs.

Oh yes, her side business is catering. In fact, I have her card.

Here. There's her number on the back. - Excuse me!

What are you saying?

Come on, brother. The show is over...

...Look ahead.

Are you from India?

No. From Harris Street.

That call was from Bobby Bedi's mother and Bobby is in a state of shock...

From what? The geyser? - From your daughter's behaviour!

Do you know that Jasmeet had nine boyfriends...

and she never mentions the name of one of them?

No.. - Do you know that she had kissed...

an Indian boy when she was in eighth class...

and the boy didn't even want to kiss!

And do you also know that she can gulp down four-five pegs of Vodka at a time.

What?

And the wonderful thing is that now she has given up that lifestyle...

and is ready to marry Bobby Bedi now! - Oh, my Jasmeet!

What your Jasmeet?

You do your work. - Oh God!

What will happen to this girl if all this turns out to be true?!

There you go. Adios amigo.

Hello everybody.

Hey Don. - Hey Jazz.

Hello Richard. Did you miss me? - Indeed.

Jazz, where in God's name have you been? Your dad called twice...

and he sounds completely frantic... - Oops! Hello Steve.

Hi Jazz.

Don't you wish wish my girlfriend was hot like me? Mission accomplished!

What mission'? - It's a long story.

With half a bottle Vodka in my stomach...

I'm speaking Russian with a thick accent. Let's grab a bite.

C'mon.

Bye Steve. - Bye girls.

So what's your problem in marrying Indian boys?

That they are Indians! That's the problem!

And what are you? You are an Indian too!

I was not born in India.

I've never even been to India. My parents are the citizens of London.

Since the age of three I've been singing the British national anthem

I was born and brought up here. Therefore my attitude,

my thinking, my likings are all British.

Laila, how could I be Indian?

So the boy of your choice would be?

British, classy, smart, somebody like...

Hey Jazz.

Like him?

Our boss? Like Mr. Charlie Brown?

Don't know. It is possible...

No, it's not possible... - Bye.

He's an incorrigible flirt.

Married thrice with three different types of girls...

...which ended in three different kinds of divorce!

And he is the uncrowned king of office affairs...

and everybody knows that you're his latest target.

Hi. - Come on in.

Did I ever tell you, I lovejazz?

I can listen tojazz all day. - What a coincidence!

Because I love people who can listen to jazz all day.

Here we are.

You didn't tell me your meeting is in Buckingham Palace.

You don't know'? Sorry, must've slipped my mind.

Are you meeting the queen?

Not the Queen exactly.

Prince of Wales. - Doesn't he live at Clarence House?

Well, if the prince is at the palace...

he wants to have me drop by, so we can rush out some ideas for little charities

I'm impressed.

Shall we go in then?

No. I'm not dressed to meet the prince.

I think you go ahead.

I won't be long.

Imran, guess who I met?

No man... not Amitabh Bachchan.

Prince Charles!

I know! By the way...

Your idea was wonderful.

I'd to down four pegs of Vodka but got rid of Bobby Bedi for life!

Your dad must be angry with you... - I know,

that is why I am not taking his call

and not returning home till he goes to sleep.

By tomorrow morning, he would have cooled down.

Lucky you! My dad has been angry with me since the day I was born.

By the way, how's Susan?

Susan is fantastic. - You're sick.

No, she is fine. Jazz says hello.

Hi Jazz. - Hi Susan.

Does she know that Pakistan is a full-fledged country

and not just a cricket team? I mean,

can she spot Pakistan on a map?

Jazz, I will teach her everything.

I am sure.

I am moving in with Susan. We'll be living in.

You what?

From part-time lovers, to full-time live-in lovers.

Well, then should I personally give this good news to your dad

or will you give it yourself?

Living in! How dare you tell us something like that?

For God's sake, cool down. - You shut up!

Parvez, why are you shouting so much? Is everything ok?

Moni, please put some sense into this boy's head.

Why, what happened? - Sense! Nonsense!

Make him understand...

that it is a crime to live with a girl without marrying her a crime!

Explain it to him properly otherwise I will kill him with my own hands.

Parvez, what are you doing?

So much anger is not good for you. - Anger?

He is hellbent on destroying my reputation

and you are telling that my anger is not good?

If your daughter would have done the same thing,

would you've given me the same advice...'?

His daughterjust got rid of yet another marriage proposal today!

Shut up! Get out

Come on! Get out! - He is your own child...Parvez!

Come on! Go! - Parvez..what are you doing?

Go on..take this! and don't ever see my face again!

Out! Get lost!

Sometimes I wonder if it was a mistake coming to England...

then I think maybe I should have...

taken the family to Bradford instead of London...

maybe then this problem wouldn't have occurred.

Imran would have grown up there among Pakistanis,

then perhaps he wouldn't have made such a mistake...

now he's ruined the family name.

I don't understand why is he doing this...

How will you understand, Parvez? This is called generation gap.

I am a simple taxi driver, not a barrister...

I can't handle such complications in life.

I'm in no better situation than you.

I didn't realise when my daughter grew from Jasmeet into Jazz.

Neither do I understand her new name...

...nor the music she dances to.

You did good, man.

Jazz's turn. - No.

No. - Come on, Jazz

All right, I can do it. - What? No.

Are you going to kiss a stranger too? - Holy Mother! Just wait and see.

How disgusting! - Come on!

You can do it.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Vodka Martini?

Don't worry about me. - He is cool.

It's 1.15 in the night and Jasmeet isn't home yet...

...and you are sleeping peacefully...

When you went to the bathroom,

I took a couple of shots of your brandy.

Very funny! - You don't even get a joke!

Not this time of the night please.

She had phoned me

that she is going to the retro disco with her colleagues.

Why does she only call you about these things?

"Darling dearest..."

"l am convinced that I belong to you"

"The love between us... This love is fantastic"

"You are the one wrapped in the warm hug of my fantasies"

"You are the one in the path of my dreams"

"You've given my heart these stories"

"And you've given it these mementos"

"Darling dearest..."

"l am convinced that I belong to you"

"You are my failure and my success"

"You are the triumph of my love"

"You are my life and its everyjoy"

"lt's only you in every moment of my life"

"The love between us... This love is fantastic"

Good morning, morn.

Good morning, dad.

What you will have?

She is on a liquid diet! So she might just do with alcohol.

And maybe you could put on some music. So that she can sip and swing!

After all, what are you up to? Tell me.

Yesterday you made a joke out of marriage,

By noon you defamed your parents..

And then spent the night drinking and dancing with that English boy!

Please stay calm. - I can't stay calm.

Why you are making an issue of a small thing?

I only drink during my nights out. - Thank you, my dear.

I am grateful that you don't drink in the day...

"l only drink during nights out" What nonsense!

Dad, what's your problem? I drink with my own money...

Jazz, that's no logic.

Whether you have poison with your own money or someone else's,

it is the same thing. - Whatever! I'm an adult.

I will lead my life the way I want. It's none of your business.

It is my business!

And as long as you live in this house, it is my business.

I won't let you drown your life in alcohol.

Both of you please remain cool. - You don't interrupt.

Let's get this clear once and for all!

You know, dad. You are right. It's clear.

If I've to live my life my way,

then I must also find myself another accommodation...

This is all your fault...

You wanted your Jasmeet to go to the same school where the British kids go.

For this?!

Are you trying to say she started smoking and drinking in school?

She passed out with good marks... - Don't talk rubbish with me.

You drilled into her head that she must have British friends.

Now all she has are British friends and British boyfriends...

except for that Imran and Laila.

So what was I supposed to do? Keep her like a frog in the well?

You're trying to make her what you couldn't become!

Look at the way you dress.

Do you think you have the body to move around in shirts and jeans?

And when you speak in English, it sounds like you're abusing someone!

All this is your fault.

You married this simple girl from Punjab

and left her there to suffer for four years...

You brought me to London and told me that this is our new home...

you never took me out because I was too rustic...

because you were ashamed to be seen with me in public.

I know these jeans don't look good on these Indian legs.

I also know my English is very bad.

But I had to do it for you.

Because I didn't want an Indian like you...

to be ashamed of being seen with our daughter

That's why I raised her to be more British than Indian.

So...you could have told me all this nicely, you know...

there was no need to get so angry!

You are mad.

No, I am not mad.

I am just the Indian father of an English daughter.

A rose by any other name would never smell so sweet.

Flowers, vintage wine, private yacht...

I think I know what's on your mind. - Are you sure?

You might be in for a surprise. - Yeah?

Marry me.

Is this a joke? - No, it's not.

Jazz, marry me.

Isn't this all happening a bit too fast?

I don't believe in wasting time.

Phone. - What?

Your phone. It's ringing.

Dad!

So sorry.

What happened, dad?

Jasmeet, forgive me!

Dad, are you drinking at this time of the day?

No.

Don't lie, because you speak Punjabi only after drinking.

Oh yeah. But I also start speaking in Punjabi when I get emotional.

Ok agreed, it's your life, your money...

and I shouldn't be saying anything to you...

Well, if you forgive me,

there is another bonus offer for you.

Dad, can't we do this later?

At least, listen to the offer.

I want to take you and your mother on a holiday.

I cannot go. - So you aren't going to forgive me?

Is it important we talk about all this now'?

Can't we talk about this later at home?

Say yes now if you forgive me, or just forget it!

Ok dad..where do we have to go?

Great. Taj Mahal, Delhi, Jaipur...

Ajmer Sharif, Rishikesh, Kedarnath, etc...

Are we going to India?

Since Shahjahan built the Taj Mahal in India...

we will have to go there to see it...

and you have always complained that you have never been there

So here you are. The offer is open.

Dad, do whatever you want to do. I really got to go. Bye.

Yes!

Do whatever you want to but you'll also have to face the consequences...

I already have

I have entered the entire biodata and also attached a photo of Jasmeet.

Now there is no scope of any mistake.. Bharat Matrimony dot com.

I have looked up such eligible Punjabi boys...

that once she gets married, everything will be fine.

You've really gone mad.

You know Jasmeet, this is one of the seven wonders of the world,

but it was built by a husband for his beloved wife.

I know that dad. There is no need to act as a guide.

Then you would also know the importance of marriage.

And that's why I will show you some boys here.

I will kill those boys!

Is he going to build me a Taj Mahal...?

We are searching for a Indian son-in-law,

not the next Indian idol. - Don't worry, sir...

The next one sings better than this one.

I mean, he's better than this one... and doesn't sing at all.

What a great view of the Charminar from your house,

Right, Jasmeet?

Many congratulations to you.

Uncle, how much sugar did you take?

You know, taste gives you an idea about someone's habit

and from habit you learn about compatibility...

and without compatibility,

it's like getting a horse married to an ass...

and such a marriage will only produce a freak...

Now my calculation show me that Jazz and I have taken one spoon sugar..

Which means.. - Mummy, this is very bitter...

will you give me another spoon ofsugan“

Actually, for health reasons, sugar is...

Why don't we leave the sugar alone and talk about marriage?

Uncle, not the marriage. You should say...

the perfect union of two socially, mentally and physical compatible people

Right, Jazz? - Physically compatible?

It means before the marriage we should...

Actually uncle, she has a good point. - Shut up.. You idiot.

Okay uncle, relax. Okay, fine.

Ok..then I will remove the physical compatibility clause..

Clause?

Are we here to talk about marriage or partnership?

Why don't you say anything? - I didn't say when I should have,

Now it's too late! What can I say?

Good joke. Which reminds me, sense of humour. Very important.

We should go and watch a comedy film in the evening.

And I will note down the things which make Jazz laugh

and Jazz will note what makes me laugh...

and based on that analysis with a flow chart...

My child, if your mom and dad would have done so much analysis,

then you would have never been born.

I like him!

What? My marriage!

My marriage! My marriage!

What happened to him? - He is a big fan of the Indian soaps.

You broker!

Why did this broker run away from here?

It seems like there is a conspiracy of a vamp...

Do these people like me...?

What's wrong with this guy?

You... you are Amod and he... he is Dilip Mehra, right?

Yes I am Dilip Mehra!

But I think you have not been able to recognize me.

Because.. because..

Because! - Complete your sentence!

Because I've had plastic surgery done on me thrice.

Even then you look like this?

What do you mean? What do you mean?

What do you mean? - What are you doing?

How easily you asked me what am I doing...

I am shocked...shocked!

India tour, eligible grooms...all done.

...can we go home now'? - Wait, one last stop, then full stop!

My village, my soil...

Great!

Punjab is truly the food supplier of India...

Look at the greenery all around.

Can you drive a little slow?

Brother, if I drive slowly, then I will feel sleepy...

after that I cannot guarantee the safety of you people.

Look ahead!

Why don't you put the window up and start the AC...

all this dust is going into our lungs.

Sorryji, actually I forgot to get the AC repaired..

And don't you worry about the dust,

eventually all of us will turn into dust.

Look ahead...

There is a speed breaker ahead.

Try telling the breaker to reduce my speed...

Has your speed been finally broken?

You do something.

No, all that's fine, but you tell me that how do I make it direct...

Come on. - Don't irritate me!

Whatever needs to be done has to be done by him. Sit quietly!

You are telling me everything but you are not telling me how to direct..

You can watch the fun but not offer any help!

Can't you keep your mouth shut?

Please tell me how to direct.

Are you going to help me direct?

Now I got the man to direct it.

Thank you, young man.

Stop, stop the car...

Girls come here..they are here...come!

Manmohan, tell me more... How's London?

First class. This house reminds me of the good old days.

Please come.

Go introduce yourself to everyone.

Mama, have you seen the size of the family?

The introductions will take all night.

Come, Jasmeet...

Bebe! - Our Manmohan.

Long live, my son. Long live. I am seeing you after such a long time.

Bebo and Jasmeet have also come.

Jasmeet is such a common name that every second child has it.

Go away.. - That is why I call her Jazz.

Jazz, come here.

Come here, my daughter. She is all grown up!

She is Jasmeet.

She's become so tall..

She was so small when she left.. She is so beautiful.

She is my daughter.

Come on, be part of us. Smile.

Wonderful place. Thanks, dad.

Stupid.

Mummy and daddy are downstairs. Give it to mummy..

I have already done that. This is for you..

If this is the size of the welcome drink, what will it be for lunch?

Eat well, my son. Ghee doesn't make you fat.

And give lots to Jazz...

She looks as if she has no life left in her.

Now eat it, see how tasty this ghee makes the food...

This is going to be so tasty.

Your hair is so coarse.

Don't you get ghee in London?

Wow, morn. Having fun?

What is going on? - Can't you see...

how coarse the hair has become. I am applying ghee to it.

Is it your hobby to add ghee to everything?

You were applying ghee to chappatis during lunch...

Ghee gives tastes to the rotis and also makes your hair healthy.

Very good, my Punjabi mother.

Does this stink go away? - Yes it does..

What stink? This is a fragrance! Wow!

What happened to her?

I'm going to kill you all!

If I knew you're staying here,

then I would not have come drunk like this.

By the way, I always come like this, climbing the terrace.

My name is Arjun and what's your name?

Are you deaf?

I am ok with that too!

My mistake.

Stupid, moron.

If it's taking so long just to know her name..

Wonder how long will it take to make her mine?

At least tell me your name.

Bebe,LondonisHkeH“

Open the freezer, remove butter, cut it, apply on the bread and eat it.

Jazz come here.

What dad? - Try some Desi butter.

Take it, my daughter.. - All fresh! I'm really liking this.

What happened?

Yesterday she fainted, today she is vomiting... is she...?

Oh no, mother, no! My Jazz is as pure as the Thames.

What is this Thames? - It's the Ganges of London.

There's a Ganges in London too? - There is a Jamuna also.

Excuse me, may I have some more please?

Come Manu come...

What's up, brother? Lungi... freedom of movement?

I was in a mood to wear a lungi.

Try some country liquor...

ok..that is fine...make one..

I have seen many striped shorts but

never seen one with criss crossed stripes.

This is the flag of England... Union Jack.

The flag may be of any country, but the pole should be Indian!

Let me go and get the lungi first.

It's mine.

It should have been my lover's scarf but instead.

The lungi of her father came flying. Bad luck.

Thank you. - Bring it.

It is so windy today...thank you.

Be careful..

He is.. - My son Arjun.

And this is my friend from England, Manmohan.

Bless you, son. I know him

He is the same guy who repaired our car yesterday

and today he returned my lungi.. He is a very good boy.

SorfY

Well, Iwill leave now. Namastey.

Be careful..

Do you believe me now? This is my house.

Tell me your name now..

Name. . name..

Jazz. - Onion?

No, tell me the name your parents have given you...

and not the name of eatables.

Name? - Jasmeet.

Manu, what are you thinking?

I think that I should steal your son at the first opportunity I get

and marry him off to my daughter.

Jaswant get one more glass of buttermilk!

You like the girl?

Idiot, remove the sunglasses and take a good look at her.

Don't complain later...

Bebe, if I don't get married to her, then I will kidnap her.

Shameless!

There is no difference between being decent or shameless..

What matters is how your heart feels.

Do you like him, Jasmeet?

Hundred percent, yes. Done.

Congratulations.

May I have a word with you in private, dad?

Yes, but...?

What happened? - l...terrace...

I'll be right back.

She's very shy... since her childhood.

Jasmeet, in front of everyone... it's so embarrassing. What happened?

Dad, you cannot be serious about Arjun

Of course, I am. Arjun is very a good boy, Jazz..

If I agree that he is good, then what?

There is nothing common between us.

I have been born and brought up in London and he is from this village.

Forget marriage, we don't even have anything common to talk about.

Then how will I adjust with him?

He will adjust..he is lndian..

And trust me, his eyes say how much he loves you..

He will keep you happy. - Dad, I don't love him.

You will fall in love with him. Give it a chance at least.

Mom, did you know about all this?

Listen..she's also right in her own way.

Tell me what is wrong with that boy?

Is he bad just because he was born here? - Come on, dad! Be reasonable.

Leave alone the fact that I can't stay here,

but this farmer who drinks milk directly from the cow,

how will he stay with me? Where will he find his cows?

Mom... it's not fair.

You tell him... - This is ridiculous!

More than half of India is settled in America, Canada, England...

and other places.

And they have married a number of Indian girls and boys there

and their marriages..are more successful than the foreigners.

Arjun will bring stability in your life...

I am not breaking her life but making it..

And I am sure about it. I am not going to change my decision,

please understand this...

OK. Dad, please give me some time to think.

Oh sure, darling, you have all the time in the world. Think about it.

You have time till tomorrow morning...

and I want to hear a yes.

Come on...chill the beers!

Son, will you be able to adjust? - I will adjust, dad..

Your mother belongs to this village .. And I am still adjusting with her.

And this girl is from London.. - No problem, dad. I will adjust.

You don't worry...l'm your son... - Bless you, son!

C'mon, hurry up.

"Slowly, steadily..."

"slowly, steadily..."

"Slowly, steadily... My heart has gone crazy in love"

"Slowly, steadily...My heart has gone crazy in love"

"l'm obsessed in your love"

"l think of you all day and all night"

"What can I say; I exist only for you"

"lt could be my imagination or your magic"

"That all I can smell is your fragrance even in flowers"

"My heart has gone crazy in your love"

"Slowly, steadily My heart has gone crazy in love"

"My life is so incomplete without you"

"Nowl know it's you I missed all my life"

"When I look at the sky I see the moonlight "

"showing the way to your house"

"My hear': has gone crazy in love"

Hey Jazz baby! - Imran, have you sent the money?

Relax. l'vejust reached the Western Union outlet.

When will I get the money?

It will be transferred while we are talking..

Brother, has the money come? - One minute, madam...

He's checking.

Here it is, madam... - It's here. Thank you.

One second, Jazz. What is the matter and why do you require so much money?

Listen, I am running away from here. They are forcing me to get married...

You're kidding me.

Okay Jazz, listen to me very very carefully.

Why are you laughing?

No, it's just that I am knocking on the door of a room in my own house..

To come in like a guest... That made me laugh.

Now it's stopped.

What? - My laughter..

Oh..

Well, why did you send Sweety to call me?

I don't know how to tell you.

No problem, I will come later... - No, no...

you sit.

I mean... lam in as much a state of shock...

as you must be delighted at the prospect of this marriage.

You must have already started dreaming about our first night.

Yes, that I started long ago..

I mean, when you drink half a glass of milk...

and leave the rest for me to finish...

No problem, we will get two glasses of milk..

One for you and one for me...

We have six cows and we are a rich family...

Not that... after that you will lift my veil and want to make love to me?

Well, then should I start without lifting the veil?

I wasn't expecting to get married on my first trip to lndia..

I need some time...

And I would like our first night to happen...

after we get to know each other better in London...

I have already spoken to dad about leaving for London...

on the same night we get married.

You come to London and see my lifestyle...

and we get to know each other...

after that I am ready to come back here...

I hope you understand...

Understand?... Understood!

There is no force in love and...

I fell in love the moment I saw you..

Now our first night will only be in London...

Thanks.

You are laughing again?

I was thinking that I will be the first guy from my family...

who will have his first night in London!

Ok bye..l'll go do some exercise..

Jaswant, open the gym!

Parvez, don't be stingy...

I have only one daughter and one son-in-law

and there will be only one reception.

The reception should be on a grand scale in London.

Entire London should notice it and talk about it!

Son, have cheese.. - No, I will eat the watermelon.

Moni, the reception will not be in a hall...

We will do it in our own way. We will rent a house in the countryside...

and put tents there.. After that there will be celebrations!

Then people will talk about it.

I haven't had my first night yet, and they are talking about the reception...

The friends of the bride are also not to be seen..

Who would guide me to the room...

Jazz, come...

...lt has been decided that your reception will not be in any hotel.

It will happen in the countryside! - Countryside!

Full Desi style. - Absolutely Desi!

What reception?

I am sorry. Why are you people holding a reception?

Well, if you consider that drama in India to be a marriage,

and you are holding a reception for that, then let me inform you that...

even I did a drama of my own.

Jazz, if you get caught, there will be another drama,

mostly emotional blackmail. Perhaps there will be torture also.

Just play along. Back here who will recognize this marriage?

Just by taking seven rounds around a sacred fire...

is not accepted as a legal marriage in London.

What is the legal proof that I am married?

Anything can happen there. I mean, this guy can get very aggressive...

"lt is a matter of my pride! I only want to marry her"

He can't do much here. He will have to go back home, quietly.

What are you saying?

Oh please..don't act so shocked dad.

You have also tricked me ..

Pretending to show me the Taj Mahal and Kashmir and instead got me married.

I played a trick too, and...

did not give you time for the registration of the marriage.

And an unregistered marriage is not accepted by the legal system here.

So now you forget about the reception ...because, according to me,

I am unmarried and single

So thanks for a great adventurous holiday. Nice meeting you, Mr Arjun.

Jasmeet? What are you saying?

According to me, you are already married to Arjun Singh.

And according to me, that Charlie Chaplin is also married.

Not once but twice. - Thrice...

You heard that? Thrice!

Does Charlie intend to break the record of most number of marriages...

or do you want to add to his record of most number of divorces'?

Sometimes one can make a mistake choosing a life partner...

He made mistakes too...

A mistake committed once is called a mistake,

but when it is repeated again and again, then it's called a habit.

What if he leaves you tomorrow, saying he's sorry...

because he made a mistake again? then what will you do?

Correct! - Look guys, whether you agree or not,

I will only marry Charlie. If that's a mistake, at least...

it will be my mistake and not yours. So chill.

You'd asked me a question before I left, I have come to give you an answer.

What?

I'm sorry. Spent too much time in India.

Spoke too much Hindi. Didn't realise what I was saying.

But I do realise, the answer to your question is yes.

Yes, I will marry you.

My heart kept saying that she will not get a better guy than you.

That is why I forced her.

But I will never allow her to marry that Charlie. I promise you...

even if it means I have to use force again.

This is London, not Punjab.

She will walk out of your house.

And if she complains against you,

the cops might arrest you and you might end up in jail.

And by the time you're out, you'd have become a grandfather...

and I would be a bachelor father. - Then what I should do? What...?

Nothing. Don't do anything.

Because whenever you try to do something, it has the opposite results.

And in the process, you will lose your daughter and I will lose my wife.

Then you should do something to win her heart.

You know, something that will show that Charlie is a bad person.

You know...

do something stylish or heroic that will make her feel you're the better person.

You know what I mean? - See, this isn't the time...

to show style or heroics nor to show that someone is a bad person.

This is the time for true love.

If she can see my true love,

then maybe she might feel the same for me.

He is a white guy..white!

Had he been an Indian, would you have sent me back to Punjab?

That's not what I meant... - Your body is in a foreign land but..

Your soul is still stuck at the Gateway of India.

You want to live in a clean city like London, earn in pounds...

give the kids an English lifestyle, but insist on an Indian son-in-law!

I wonder why..

Father-in-law, neither Jazz acknowledges our marriage...

nor the law of this land. We have only one solution..

To do exactly what Jasmeet says.

Because under these circumstances we have to listen to her.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday dear Imran.

Happy birthday to you.

Thank you.

All right, and that's myself. Thank you.

That must be Jazz. I'll get her.

You didn't care to invite your parents to your birthday party,

but... I have brought you a gift.

Mr Khan, you absolutely have no right... - You keep out of it!

The advise that you gave to Jasmeet has not only shattered her family..

But...

it has also destroyed the life of an innocent man.

You should be ashamed!

Enjoy the parTy-

You've made me the happiest man in the world.

What. . .? - I'm sorry.

I've just been through a lot lately.

Just let me sort out my life mentally and you can...

do what you want physically.

It's fine. There's no rush.

Good night. - Good night.

Sleep well. - You too.

The Englishman is handsome...

but not as much as me!

I am justjoking..

Now you can't expect me to appreciate my wife's boyfriend more than this.

What's his name?

Charlie Brown.

And you? Jasmeet Brown... no...Jazz Brown.

So you have made up your mind about becoming Jazz Brown?

Yes.

Then why did you lie to me in Punjab?

Why did you show me dreams about our first night in London?

If only you would have told me that instead of becoming Mrs. Arjun Singh,

you wanted to be Jazz Brown, I would have stepped away.

I know what I've done to you is very bad.

Perhaps you will hate me all your life...

but..

I don't hate you...

...l can't and never will.

What?

I fell in love with you the moment I saw you...

and that's why I got married to you.

Yeah, for a while upstairs, I did try to hate you but couldn't.

But I will never force you to treat me as your husband.

Nor will I lose hope.

Nor will I go away from here.

And Jasmeet, I won't go from here...

until you and Charlie take your wedding vows in the church.

I will wait for you until then..

And hope that you will come back to me.

Know why?

I fell in love with you the moment I saw you.

"Oh heart..."

"how can you be so sure..."

"that someone who isn't mine will become mine"

"Oh my restless heart"

"ls this what love is all about"

"Oh my restless heart"

"ls this what love is all about"

"Oh heart, why do you keep saying"

"About someone who lives in my dreams?"

"She is myjourney"

"and she's my destination"

"She is my sea"

"and she's my shore"

"Tell me what is this yearning"

"And where has it led me"

"Oh my restless heart..."

"ls this what love is all about"

"l listen to your story"

"About someday this distance being bridged"

"My heart hasn't lost hope"

"And I salute its persistence"

"What's this madness"

"what's this yearning"

"And why are you so hopeful?"

"Oh my restless heart..."

"ls this what love is all about"

"Oh my restless heart..."

"ls this what love is all about"

"Oh my restless heart"

"ls this what love is all about"

What do you think? - Its good!

The world is so small father-in-law. lwear this brand In India too

This is the first Indian denim brand which has opened a showroom in London.

And you are the first Indian who is getting his own wife married in London.

Do something, Arjun! - What can I do?

You are already doing it. - What am I doing?

Preparing for your daughter's second marriage.

I'm Jazz's father Manmohan and this is Bebo.

Please to have you here. Why don't you sit down?

Have some tea.

Damn...

My daughter's got two in-laws in a single year...

one in Punjab and one in London. What will happen?

You made the plan...

Sorry.

Hello?

I am your new relative, your buddy.. Ballu!

Balliye? I am in the midst of preparations for Jazz's... reception.

I will call you later.

Balliye from Bhagwada.

Everything all right, Mr Malhotra? - No.

No, no... everything's all right.

All right.

Though they are Browns they are pristine white.

Some milk, Mr Malhotra? - No, I'd like it brown.

I mean, I'd like it black

Black tea. - Black.

It might sound odd coming from your future father-in-law.

I just hope you know what you're doing, Jazz

Charlie is like an overgrown child...

gets obsessed with a new toy for a while and loses interest.

I truly hope that won't happen this time...

that his interest in you remains forever.

Dad, mom, this is Charlie's aunt Pauline and her husband Mr William.

How d'you do? - Oh Pauline!

So shocked to see your nude picture on a beach in some newspaper.

What are you saying? What she meant to say was...

she is very upset with the press for what they're doing...

to respected people like you.

Do you know what you are saying?

Dad is here.

Jazz, this is Mr John Pringle. He's got an old connection with India.

His great grandfather was a high ranking officer of the East India Company.

Oh really?

This is my fiancee, Jazz. - Jazz?

Isn't that a kind of music?

So when did the Indians have such fancy names, Charlie?

Actually, it's short for Jasmeet.

Then Jazz must be your attempt to be one of us.

There's one smart girl you got there, Charlie. Don't blame her.

She doesn't want to be known as coming from the land of snake charmers, right?

Tell me, Jazz, they still do the Indian rope trick in your country?

No, Mr Pringle

And it's notjust a land of snake charmers. Right, Charlie?

Yes, it's notjust a land of snake charmers.

It's also a land of chicken tandoori and call centres.

You know India is not just all that, right?

Of course, my dear, India is not all that.

Fortunately, Charlie doesn't know. Butldo.

Winston Churchill once said, if we ever left India...

it'd be run by the goons. And my God, it is

If you just excuse me. - Certainly, madam.

I felt bad because lam an lndian..

But what happened to you ? Why did you feel bad?

You are British!

Forget it. lt doesn't matter where you live, you will always be an Indian.

Come..

Where?

I guess his grandfather saw some other lndia..

Let me give him a guided tour of the real India...

Mr Pringle, he'd like to tell you something about India.

Really? I'm all ears.

When we greet one another, we fold our hands in namastey...

because we believe...

that God resides in the heart of every human being.

We come from a nation where we allow a lady of Catholic origin...

to step aside for a Sikh to be sworn in as Prime Minister...

by a Muslim President to govern a nation of over 8O percent Hindus.

It may also interest you to know that...

many of the origins to your words come from Sanskrit.

For example, maatr becomes mother...

bhratr becomes brother, giamiti becomes geometry

trikonniti becomes trigonometry.

We have 5600 newspapers...

35000 magazines in over twenty-one different languages...

with a combined readership of over 120 million.

We have reached the moon and back, but yet...

you people still feel that we've only reached as far as the Indian rope trick

We are the third largest nation in the world...

of doctors, engineers and scientists.

Maybe your grandfather didn't tell you that...

we have the third largest army in the world.

And even then, I fold my hands in humility before you...

because we don't believe we are above or beneath any individual.

And...

namastey.

Eventually your husband came to your rescue, right?

I was just kidding. Don't you watch movies or what?

Jazz, there you are.

Great speech, man. We haven't been introduced.

I'm Charles Brown. - Arjun Singh.

And how do you know him?

What?

I... friend... India.

Great. So he must be here for the wedding here, right?

He is asking if you are here for our wedding...

Yes, I am here because of our wedding

So there you go, Jazz. You said you can't find a bride's mate.

Maybe this man can be your best man.

He means, you should be my best man at the wedding.

I don't know how to translate "best man" in Hindi.

Best man means the best guy in your life, which is me.

Know what will be great? A rugby match.

India versus England. The Malhotras versus the Browns.

This Sunday. Let's see how good India is at something as...

there's no cricket. What do you say?

Great.

Nice meeting you, Arjun. Come, my dad's might raise a toast for it.

Would you mind taking a break now, gentlemen?

Hello. May I ask for your attention please?

Has everybody got a drink? Fine. Just want to say a few words.

Welcome, family and friends.

We're happy you are here as we welcome...

Mr and Mrs Malhotra into our family.

Mind you, thanks to Charlie, I get to see you all rather too frequently.

Unfortunately this is the fourth occasion in the last two years.

Dad, it's not the time... - Yes. My son says that...

I should try to forget the past and look forward...

to the future. And he's quite right because his future...

is this bright and beautiful girl next to him... Jazz

I'm sure he has found true love this time.

Congratulations to you both. Jazz and Charlie.

I want to go back to India

but it is impossible for me to stay away from Jasmeet.

I want to stay but...

what Jazz is doing...

that I can't bear to watch either. - Would alcohol reduce the problem?

In such situations, one should have poison...

but my heart has settled for alcohol.

You talk about hope, you talk about love...

and today you are losing heart.

I talk a lot..

But sometimes I forget...

that I am just a human being.

I forgot to tell you one thing..

I don't know how to play rugby.

Hey boy, I am just like your father. Be gentle.

What are you doing? - What are you doing?

Friend, this is strategy..strategy.. - What strategy?

Life saving strategy! Only if we stay alive we will win!

Come on, dad. Come on!

What are you doing? The ball was to be given to lmran.

It is possible that he's secretly playing for the British.

It's no cricket, is it, boys?

Oh no...Oh no... What have we got ourselves into?

In our country we usually play small indoor games during weddings..

Here we have to save our self respect wearing only our undergarments.

That is because that idiot Punjabi boy accepted a challenge.

But where is that idiot Punjabi boy?

Over there..in the stands...

sitting and enjoying popcorn with the ladies.

No problem, no problem. Things can change...no problem!

Typically lndian...don't lose hope even when they are losing.

Until you are defeated, you are considered a winner.

But Charlie is the University Rugby Champion...

that's why he challenged you for Rugby and not Cricket.

Oh...OK...l thought he watched Lagaan and that's why..

What Lagaan? - Don't you watch movies?

Yes, I do, but not Hindi. - Oh, that's why.

As long as there is hope, there is everything. Wanna bet?

Don't bet , you will lose.

That is my problem.

If I win, then you have to show me London..

If I lose, then I will pack my bags and go back to Punjab.

Don't threaten me about going back to Punjab..

OK, even if you lose, I will still show you London.

Imran?

Arjun! Come here.

Remember the bet? You have to show me London.

Push up, push UP!

Good! - What is to be done?

Nothing.. just hold the ball..

And run like a bull towards the goal post. Here.

Catch my tiger if you can!

Easy, QUYS-

Get them!

We beat the British!

We beat the British!

Have some water.

Sorry.

"What has happened to me all of a sudden?"

"My heart beats to tell this story"

What will you have? - Alcohol..

Two vodkas.

"What has happened to me all of a sudden?"

"Oh, what has happened to me?"

"My heart beats to tell this story! About how it craves to be with you"

What are you doing?

After looking at the whole of London I felt that..

It would be better to look at you ...that is why...

I'm doing these rounds.

You intrigue me... I behaved so badly with you

and even then you are not angry with me?

Where there is love, there is no anger. In fact, there is hope.

What hope?

Hope that you will not marry such a bad rugby player.

And if you do, then many years later, when we are old,

I will come to London and call you. - And you will say...?

On the phone I will say, Jasmeet, I want to meet you...

please come and meet me.

You don't want to meet me..

Why meet after so many years? How will it help?

But I insist,

Don't say no, Jasmeet.

You are stubborn.. your refusal is strong

and your tone firm..

It will be better if we don't meet.

But I will wait for you at the same place...

with the hope that you will come..

Then? - Thenm

We look at each other.

Feeling strange..

We look at each other and remember how we looked when we were young.

You are still very beautiful.

Don't talk rubbish... I have grown old now.

You look down..

The way I start talking looking directly into your eyes..

You don't like it.

Don't look at me like that...

Why did you come back?

There is silence for a moment...

there's nothing left to say..

You stand there in silence.

A veil of sadness cloud your eyes.

Mine too.

Are you happy?

And what did I say?

And you said...

The meaning of true love...

...ls not to possess.

What does that mean?

How would I know? You said it..you should know.

Here we go, darling. - Thanks.

One for the big man. - Thanks.

This man can drink.

So tell me, Arjun, except our marriage what brings you to London?

What did he say?

He is asking what brings you to London besides the wedding.

I have come to pacify my wife and take her back home.

What he's saying?

I marry Jazz...

parcel... take away.

I think I got it. So you're...

staying for the wedding and then you're gonna go.

Yeah, yeah.

Jazz, translate correctly in English, otherwise later he will accuse me

that I didn't warn him of my real intention for being here.

Whatever. We'll leave you guys to catch. C'mon girls.

I'll go. - It's dancing time.

What intention?

What intention?

"Let me tell you what's in my heart"

"l want to take you far away as my Heer"

"To take you away, my dear"

"And to gaze at you forever"

"l offer my entire youth to you"

"l dedicate my whole story to you"

"You are in my eyes, you are in my breath"

"You are in my heartbeats, you are in my body and my soul"

"l'm crazy about you, you're crazy about me"

"Why do you pretend to be unaware"

"That you're my life, sweetheart"

"To take you away, my dear"

"And to gaze at you forever"

"l am the one your heart keeps asking about"

"Why don't you realise that I am your Mahiwal and you're my Sohni"

"You are my beloved, my sweetheart"

"You've given my heart a whole new experience"

"There is so much magic in your beauty, that I've no control over my heart"

"lt's only you in every breath of mine, that's all I want you to know"

"To take you away, my dear"

"And to gaze at you forever"

Get off from me! D'you ever look into the mirror?

Back off.

What's wrong? Sorry.

So what's your problem, young man?

Sir...? - Can't you find yourself a girl...

in your own community? - Or are you just curious to know...

what children from mixed marriages looked like.

Great joke.

I mean... I love Susan, I'm gonna marry Susan...

I mean, I want to marry Susan

So what'll it be, lmran?

Would you prefer the name Immanuel?

Or would you like Ian as a name?

I don't really understand, sir. Susan...?

He's talking about changing your name from Imran to something appropriate?

I suppose you do understand that you have a baptised Christian...

to marry my daughter, right?

Yeah, but of course, sir.

And you have to provide me with a written statement clarifying...

that none of your family involved in terrorist activities.

What are you doing here?

I could ask you the same question. What are you doing here?

I've always seen you either at a disco or a bar.

I am changing my religion.

So it's like the last salute of the soldier going to the warfront.

But saying goodbye to God will not

reduce the feeling of deception, Imran, right?

Susan's father wants me to change my name, religion..

And become a Christian. - Are you marrying Susan's father?

But Susan didn't object to this. It means...

Very good, my lover boy. You're leaving your 26 year old identity,

name and religion for a girl whom you've barely known for 26 weeks.

See that?

That father wants to pass on his tradition to his son

because he got the same from his father.

But the day he will come to know that his son is going to leave...

all his traditions and principles...

...what will happen to his feelings?

I am also a Punjabi...

I respect love...

but my dear friend, there are no conditions in love.

See you.

_ l-l€Y-

EVerybOdY- --

I'd like to introduce Immanuel.

No. lmran.

I'm lmran Khan.

I'm sorry, Susan.

I will not change my name or religion.

I respect all religions.

And we can't build our relationship on such conditions.

I can't give up who I am to become one of you.

What are you talking about?

Sir...

I'm sorry. But your conditions are just unacceptable for me.

Susan, I love you.

And I want you to love me for who I am, not what you can make me into.

And if this relationship is about changing my name or religion...

then I'm sorry, I don't think it's worth the effort.

Coming.

Jazz, darling... how are you?

I'm so excited. I have us both enrolled in dance classes

What...? I don't need any dance lessons, honey.

I've had practise dancing in my previous wedding.

It's your first wedding, not mine.

It's my fourth. - But I need a partner.

And it's our wedding. At least give me company.

I won't stop you, you go ahead. Ask Archie to step in for me.

It's not Archie, it's Arjun. I know, I mean...

Jazz, I've got to go. Okay?

I don't believe him.

You're doing great.

More passion.

Head up, chin up... up... good.

Keep 90mg

That's it. Keep going.

Thank you, Arjun.

I will never leave the chance of dancing with you.

By the way...you dance pretty well.

Just play the drum once and I will show you what's a Punjabi dance.

Bhangra! I must say that your taste is not good.

Don't say that... I liked you at first sight.

Are you flirting with me? - From the very first day...

and you realised it now?

When you return home, what you will do?

Will you marry someone else?

I'm already married!

I know, I know..."l am joking. Don't you watch movies?"

I'm notjoking...

I am not going to marry again.

"What has happened to me all of a sudden?"

Hi Charlie. - Jazz, I need you here, now.

You need me to come right now? - Don't argue with me. It's worth it.

Can you just give me five minutes? I'm at the dance class.

Just forget about the dancing. Leave the dancing for a minute.

It's a hard concept to understand. The man leads, the woman follows.

Charlie, don't behave like a child. Just give me five minutes.

Don't call me a child. Just get into a taxi...

I'll pick you up at the other end. Okay?

I need you here, right now.

Fine. I'm coming.

I'm sorry.

Mr. Charlie does not have the time to dance but..

]the timing of his phone call was impeccable.

Okay, goodbye.

This is the perfect location for our reception.

Follow me.

We'll have the band playing here

I'm thinking about asking Phil Collins.

Come over here.

We're gonna have the biggest example anyone has ever seen...

the most exotic sweets anyone has ever tasted,

at the marquee of the hall grounds under the giant Roman Pillars.

Maybe all the waiters dressed as gladiators. What d'you think?

Jazz, what're you thinking? - Yeah.

You make me laugh sometimes. C'mon, come inside.

There's so much more to show you.

God! I love you

Come here.

Kiss me.

Stop.

What is wrong with you? - I'm sorry.

We're getting marriage in a couple of days.

Why are you acting like a...

bloody Indian bride?

I want a divorce!

Arjun. I am serious. I want a divorce.

You don't consider our marriage a marriage..

Then how will you consider our divorce a divorce?

But you do, and that troubles me.

Charlie wanted to kiss me.. and he has all the right to do so..

Since we are going to get married.

But I... we argued.

You just give me a divorce!

Bebe, London isjust like Punjab..

The only difference is that there are more Punjabis in London.

Did you roam around or not?

Yes... I did.

I've been going around ever since I landed here.

Then why are you coming back?

I am coming back because I miss you all very much.

I miss the village very much. - And Jasmeet?

Jasmeet had already packed her bags, but I said no.

Why?

She couldn't get any leave from the office.

She is crazy. She talks about leaving herjob.

But I said no...no.

My son, tell me the truth

you both get along, right?

What do you mean get along?

She is more in love with me after our first night.

Shut up, idiot!

Hey, I am just joking..

And you watch movies too.

Ok, fine then..

Goodbye. - Take care, son.

May you live a long life. God bless you.

Regards.. God bless.

The meaning of true love..

Is not to possess.

The meaning of true love is not to possess.

Am I correct ?

Yes, those lines have been written to make losers in love feel better.

I am justjoking. I wrote it.

Dance?

One... last time?

Look, Jasmeet...

neither could you marry me nor could I give you a divorce.

Now we're even.

Will you promise me one more thing?

What promise?

When we get old...

and when I come back to London...

and call you,

please do come and meet me...

because for me it would be very important to know...

that you are happy.

What was that for?

Just saying goodbye.

You're a nice guy, Arjun

I'll miss you.

It's too late, Imran.

Really?

I just came to tell you that Daddy, mummy, me and Susan...

will be going to Karachi for a few days.

Moni, what are you doing?

Can't you see I'm drinking... I'm getting drunk.

You got your son back, right?

My daughter is going.

Enough, buddy. Don't drink more.

You have to take your daughter till the altar.

Leave it.

Congratulations.

You were right, Charlie.

I've got to be the best man, but you are the man for Jazz.

She loves you, and I wish you both a very happy married life.

Please take care of Jasmeet.

Sweet little Jasmeet.

Don't hurt her...

evefl

Or else, I'll come back for a match, and this time it won't be rugby.

Goodbye Charlie.

Goodbye Jasmeet.

Do you, Charles Brown, take this woman, Jasmeet Singh...

to be your wedded wife?

And do you promise to love her, comfort her, honour...

and keep her in sickness and health?

And forsaking all others, keep only unto her...

for as long as you both shall live?

I do.

Do you, Jasmeet Singh, take this man, Charles Brown...

to be your wedded husband?

And do you promise to love him, comfort him...

honour and keep him in sickness and health?

And forsaking all others, keep only unto him...

for as long as you both shall live?

No.

Run, dear. Run!

Truth is God!

Where are you going, son? We've got some rugby to play!

Hey Parvez..

Why did you pretend that you didn't know English?

My pretense almost ended at that party...

where I had understood everything Mr Pringle said in English

and gave him a fitting reply in Hindi! You should have caught me then.

Jasmeet, I speak better English than you...

but you see I'm Punjabi at heart, I didn't want any confusion about that.

I am justjoking. Don't you watch movies?