All language subtitles for 12.Something.Fishy

With the stars...

and...

Did you find a ball, Ralph?

No, I can't find it in there.

Well, a ball just
can't disappear.

Well, it disappeared,
so let's forget about it.

I'll play you another
game some other time.

Oh no, you won't.
I got you 19 to 2.

All I need is two more points
and I won a dime from you.

We lost the ball and there
aren't any more balls left.

I don't know how we could
lose three balls in one game.

It always happens
when I play with you.

Doesn't make
any difference.

We're gonna start
the meeting anyway.

All right, will you
just give me the dime?
I got you beat.

What do you mean, give you
a dime, you got me beat?

19 points don't
win this game.

21 points
win the game.

I just let
you get ahead

to make it
interesting,
that's all.

If we had another ball,

I would have started
my "A" game.

Then I would have
beaten you, 21 to 19.

But you don't hear me
asking you for a dime.

That's something you
gotta learn, Norton.

You gotta learn...

that it isn't always
important to win.

Just play the game for
the sake of the game.

Win or lose,
be a good sport.

Yeah.

All right, all right.

Forget about the dime.
Forget about...

Give me a match.

Oh, sure, pal.

How in the world could
they have gotten in there?

I'll give you three guesses,
the first two don't count.

Shut up and serve!

Now this time if the ball
goes off the table,

let me look for it,
will you?

Don't give me
any instructions.
Just serve.

Will you come on
and serve!

That's 20.
That's 20.

Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!

That was an
illegal serve.

I can serve any way I want
as long as the ball bounces

on my side of the net
and it bounces on your side.

That serve doesn't
count. I wasn't ready.

I don't care.
When the serve was served,

the receiver's got to
be ready at all time.

Come on, point...
Come on, point game
here coming up.

You ready?

I'm ready.

Ready? I think I'll wind up
the proceedings here

with Norton's famous
mystery atomic cannonball.

Oh!

Put 'em up, Norton!
Put 'em up.

Just put 'em up!

Wait, wait, we're playing
for the game's sake, you know.

Win or lose, you gotta
be a good sport.

Never mind about
that sport stuff.

Just put 'em up!

Well, Norton,
beat him again, huh?

Beat me again, huh?
Not if he played fair!

I could beat him
with both hands tied.

Yeah, if they were my hands
that were tied.

Oh, you're a riot.

Come now, no
hard feelings.

Remember we
are Racoons,

and all raccoons are
brothers under the pelt.

Now, forget your
differences,

and let's have the
Racoon handshake.

Come on, the
Racoon handshake!

Aah...

All right, boys,
let's get this table

out of here
now, come on.

Let's get the meeting
started, hurry up!

That's it.

Boy, oh, boy,
I'm telling you.

You ever hear
of a guy losing

three Ping-Pong balls
in his pocket?

You shouldn't play
Ping-Pong with him.

You're too good.

You're right, I shouldn't.

I'll just stick
to playing Ping-Pong

during my lunch hour
down in the sewer.

You play Ping-Pong
in the sewer?

Yeah. It's the only
game we can play

with a ball that can float!

All right,
fellas, come on.

Let's get our places
here now, huh?

Get this meeting
started here.

All right, gentlemen...

I now call this meeting
of the Racoon Lodge to order.

Gentlemen, the traditional
Racoon salute.

( all whooping )

Now, for the first order
of business,

we'll hear a report
from Brother Kramden,

who last month volunteered
to take charge

of the drive
for new members.

Brother Kramden?
Thank you.

Uh, Mr. President...

members of the
Racoon Lodge,

as you know, this month
we were to have a drive

to reach a quota
of 50 new members.

However, because
of the fact

that we have not
reached the quota,

I suggest that we continue
the drive for another week.

Well, uh, how many
more applicants

do we need to fill our
quota of 50 new members?

Fifty.

We-we have
no new members?

This-this is
very disappointing!

( clearing throat ):
Mr. President...

Yes, Brother Norton?

As much as I hate
to pay a compliment

to the fat chairman
of the drive...

( clears throat )

I think that we all owe
him a vote of thanks

for the vast improvement

made over last
year's member drive.

But he didn't bring in
one new member!

I know, but last year we lost
three of the old members.

Oh, yes, well,
I, uh, I guess

I owe you an apology,
Brother Kramden.

Apology is accepted.

Unfortunately, though,
I, uh, I don't think

that extending the drive
another week is the answer.

There must be some reason
we're not getting new members.

I suggest we look at
all the possibilities.

Ah, first of all, what
are the requirements

that a new member
must go through

before he can be
entered into the lodge?

Oh, well, let's,
uh, let's see.

That's section two
of our rules and bylaws.

Here, Brother Kramden,
you read that.

All right.

( clears throat )

All applicants applying
for membership

in the Royal Order
of Racoons

must meet with
the following requirements:

Number one,

applicant must have earned
a public school diploma.

Two, he must have resided
in the United States

for the last six months.

Three, he must pay a dollar
and a half initiation fee.

( clearing throat ):
Excuse me.

There's your
trouble right there.

The requirements
are too tough.

They're not too tough.

You belong to the lodge,
don't you?

Oh, now, here, come on.

Order, order, Brothers!

Brother Norton, I don't think
that's the cause of our trouble.

Excuse me,
Mr. President.

I hate to disagree
with the president,

but take that
requirement
number two.

Well, it says that you
gotta be a resident
of the United States

for at least six months before
you can apply for membership.

Well, what about it?

What about it?

On account of
that silly rule,

Anthony Eden could
never become a Racoon!

Anthony?

Mr. President...

Brother Kramden--
Brother Norton is a nut!

I have the floor,
you're out of order.

The only thing out of order
here is your head.

Brothers, Brothers,
this is getting us no place.

Let's face the facts.

There must be plenty
of eligible... uh,
comp, uh... uh...

Applicants.

Applicants. I'm sorry,

so I couldn't
think of the word.

And it's all your own fault
for not bringing them in.

Well, I'll bet there
isn't a man in this room

that couldn't bring
in two or three of his
fellow workers with him.

How about you, Norton?

Well, Mr. President,
I guess you're right.

I haven't been trying
hard enough to get

some of the fellas
that work with me
down in the sewer.

I should have
come up with a few.

Yeah.

And, uh...

I ain't got no
excuse and I'm sorry.

All right, sir.
And you, Andrews?

Well, there are plenty
of guys at the brewery.

There's no reason I couldn't
bring in one or two.

I ain't got no excuse.

And you, Driven?

Driven's the only one
with a legitimate excuse.

He's an undertaker.

( all laughing )

Just a little levity
to break the tension.

All right, we'll just...

we'll just have to
do better next time.

Now, for the second
order of business,

it gives me great pleasure
to remind you brothers

that next Sunday is the day

of the Racoon Lodge's
annual fishing trip.

( all cheering )

And I'd like to report
also that like last year,

Brother Muldoon
will bring the beer

and Brother Havameyer
will supply the knotwurst.

( all cheering )

Now, in the past years,
we've always tried

to make our fishing trips
better than the year before.

However, this year,
there's been a consensus

that we should
leave our wives at home.

However, we must
take a vote on that.

Now, all those in favor
of not bringing their wives,

raise their hand.

Now, all those in favor
of bringing their wives,

raise their hand.

What's the matter with you?
Why are you voting twice?

I want to make sure
that Trixie ain't goin'.

But what's that got
to do with it?

Well, when she finds
out she ain't goin',

I want to be able say
I voted for her goin'.

You see...
Will you sit down!

The motion is passed
unanimously.

The wives stay at home.
Yes, Brother Kramden?

Mr. President and members,
as you know,

for the last seven years
we have unanimously voted

to keep the women off
of the fishing trip.

I make a motion now

that we vote to tell 'em
about it this year.

Well, who seconds
that motion?

Well, isn't anybody
gonna second it?

Huh! Sure.

Sure. Just as I figured.

You all vote that the women

are not coming
on the fishing trip.

Big men!

But what does it mean? Nothin'!

Because when it's time
to face your wife,

you all back down
and give in, that's why!

It's time to ask yourself
a question.

Are the Racoons mice or men?

Ah, wait a minute,
Kramden!

How come your wife is always
on the fishing trip?

Because I let her come,
that's why.

Because I let her come,
that's why!

And do you know
why I let her come?

I didn't want to show
you guys up, that's why!

Now, look.

I'm gonna say something
to you men,

and you'd better listen to it
because it's important.

Every time you get into

the habit of saying yes
to your wife,

you're getting into the habit of
saying no to your independence.

It's time to make
a decision, men.

Are you going to retreat
into the darkness of slavery?!

Or are you going to advance?!

Advance into the sunshine
of freedom?!

( all cheering )

I say, advance!

This is our last chance.

If we let these women
take over our fishing trip,

we are through. All is lost!

Remember, today it's
the fishing trip,

tomorrow it'll be the pool room!

He's right! I second
Kramden's vote.

We're with
you, Ralph!

We'll show 'em
who's boss!

Oh, gentlemen,
this is a great night

in the history
of the Racoons.

Say, how about a poker game

as a declaration
of our independence?

The beer and the pretzels
are on me.

( all cheering )

Thank you very much,
Mr. President. Thank you, men.

Boy, Ralphie, I gotta
hand it to you.

You're a rotten
Ping-Pong player,

but you make a good
speech maker.

If you were
90 pounds lighter,

the boys would have carried you
out on their shoulders.

Come on, let's play
a little poker, pal.

No, you go ahead.
I don't want to play.

But you like poker.

I know, but Alice told me
to be sure and be home at 10:30.

Look, Alice, you might as well
get this into your head.

A fishing trip is
just like a Turkish bath.

It's for men only.

I catch the fish...

you cook the fish.

The only time we're together
is when we eat the fish.

So, it's final, it's settled
and it's over and done with.

You are not going
on the fishing trip.

Hi, Ralph.
Hi, Alice.

I'm sorry I was late, honey.
I had some shopping to do.

But I'll have your supper

ready for you
in a minute.

Uh, Alice...
Yes?

I want to tell
you something.

Well?

I'll tell you later.

Okay.

I'll be right out.
I got a surprise for you.

Say there, Ralphie boy.

Oh hi, Norton.

Mind if I put this
in your icebox

till I get upstairs?
It's perishable.

Oh, help yourself.

It ain't that I'm hungry,

I just had to make
a little room
for my parcel.

Yeah, sure, sure.

How'd you make out
about the car, Ralph?

Oh, I got the car.
Freddie Miller said
I could have it.

As a matter of fact, he's
leaving it in front of the house

on his way home tonight.

And by the way, the trip isn't
going to cost us a cent.

I told some of the members I'd
give 'em a lift down to the pier

if they'd chip in for the gas.

So, they will be downstairs

and meet us
in front of the house

at 6:00 tomorrow morning.

What's the matter
with you?

( sighs )

I, uh... I got
a confession
to make, Ralph.

I know it's going to be a
big disappointment to you,

but I gotta tell you.

I realize the fishing
trip is tomorrow,

but I just haven't gotten
around to telling Trixie

that she's not goin' fishin'.

I almost started to tell
her just a little while ago.

She was standing too close
to the pots and pans.

I just haven't got the
courage you got, I guess.

Listen, I been doin' the
most stupid things, Ralph.

You know, when she's not
home, I'm standin' there,

making speeches at
her, telling her,

"Trix, you're not goin'
fishin', you know."

Ain't that stupid?

Then she comes home...
nothin'. I chicken out.

Will you do me one
big favor, please?

Tell me, word for word,
how did you tell Alice

that she is not
goin' fishin'?

Just tell me.

Well, I said to her...

I didn't tell her
either yet.

You didn't tell her!
You didn't tell...

Our leader!
You were the guy

makin' the big speech
about being free.

Oh, boy. To think
at this moment,

our fellow members
of the Racoon Lodge

are mimeographin'
copies of your speech

to hang up in every
pool room in Bensonhurst!

For shame!

Well, do you know
why I didn't tell her?

Do you know why?

Do you know why
I didn't tell her?

Well, I'll tell you
why I didn't tell her.

Why should I tell you
why I didn't tell her?

I'll tell you why
you didn't tell her.

You're scared of Alice.

Ha-ha-ha!

Hardy-har-har!

That'll be the day when I'm
scared to tell Alice anything.

I'll eat your hat.

Well, then, why
didn't you tell her?

I didn't tell her
because...

Well, I don't even know

if she wants to go
on a fishing trip.

Why should I start
a fight over nothing?

She's given me no indication

that she thinks wants
to go on a fishing trip.

How do you like it?

I got a hunch she's
thinkin' of goin' fishin'.

It was a great
bargain, Ralph.

I got it all on sale.

Nice boots.
Nice and light.

Good for summer wear
in the sewer.

Ralph, you haven't
said anything yet.

Go ahead, say
something, Ralph.

Alice, I gotta
tell you something.

Yeah?

That's a mighty fine
outfit you got there.

So glad you like it.

I'll go change, and then

I'll get your supper
ready for you.

( clearing throat )

Don't get smart,
don't get smart!

I'll tell her
when I'm ready.

You better tell her, because
if she comes tomorrow with you,

you are going to be
the laughingstock.

Don't worry about me.
Just you make sure

that you tell Trixie
that she's not goin'.

All right, all right,
I'll tell her.

And listen,
Brother Kramden,

next time you're ready
to make a speech,

will you do me
a favor? Shut up.

Hey, wait a minute!

( door slams )

Alice! Come out here.

Now look, Alice...

I'm gonna tell you something.
I've made up my mind about it,

so there's no sense in
trying to change my mind.

Let's not do any hollering,
screaming or yelling.

You are not going
on the fishing trip.

I am going.

You're not going.

I am going!

( yelling ):
You're not going!

( yelling ):
I am going!

The only place you're
going is to the moon!

You get this, Ralph,
and get it straight.

When you're on that
fishing trip tomorrow,

I'm gonna be there, too.

You can't go!

All the guys
voted unanimously

that we can't take
the wives with us!

None of the wives are goin'!

None of the wives are going?

Well, for your information,
Trixie's going.

Oh, is that so,
Mrs. Weisenheimer?

Well, for your information,
she's not goin',

'cause Norton's on his way up
to tell her she can't go.

( crashing upstairs )

( Norton yelling )

Didn't I tell you
Trixie's going?

I don't care if she's
goin', you're not goin'!

Now you listen to me, Ralph.

I am going
on that fishing trip.

I gave up going to beauty
parlor for three months

to buy that
fishing equipment.

Yeah? Well, that
fishing equipment

will not do you one bit of good.

What do you know about fishing
in the first place?

When did you ever
catch anything?

15 years ago.

I caught 300
pounds of blubber.

Oh, would I like to...

You're not goin'!

I am, Ralph, and at
6:00 tomorrow morning,

I shall be ready.

( groans )

Well...

Me, too.

Yeah, Trixie, too.

She says she's gonna
be ready at 6:00

in the morning
to go fishing.

So's Trixie.

Hey, wait a minute.
What?

( snaps fingers )

Wait a minute!

All right,
so they're gonna

be up at 6:00
to go fishin'.

Suppose we sneak
out at 4:00?

Ralph, you're a genius!

You gotta get up
a little early

to put anything over on me.

'Bout half past three.

( laughing )

Now, look...
Hey, wait a minute.

What about the guys that
are gonna meet us at 6:00?

Very simple. We'll call
them up on the phone

and tell them to meet us
in front of the house at 4:00.

You make the calls
and use an outside phone.

Yeah. All right.
Now, remember,

when you're coming down
tomorrow morning,

be careful not to
wake up Trixie or we're dead.

Don't you worry
about a thing.

Hey, wait a minute.
What?

Don't you want that package
you put in my icebox?

Ooh. Thanks.

I'm glad you
reminded me about this.

Boy, we'd be in pretty
bad shape tomorrow

if I didn't bring this.

What is it?

Worms.

You put worms
in my icebox!

Get out! Get out!

Worms in my icebox!

Great idea of yours to go...

( yawning ):
at 4:00 in the morning.

Well, let's get in the car
where we can sit down.

( horn honks )

Know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna take
a little snooze.

There'll be no
snoozin', Norton.

( horn honking )

Norton, I said
don't snooze!

I just had my eyes closed.

Don't tell me you
had your eyes closed.

I just heard you snore!

That was the horn.

The horn?

We better get out of here
before we wake the girls up.

What'd I do with the key?

What about the guys?

Huh?
The guys.

The guys? Makes
no difference.

We'll drive around the block.
They gotta come up that street.

NORTON:
Oh.

You know what?
What?

The girls are really gonna
be in for some shock

when they find out that
we left without them.

( both laughing )

They're gonna be mighty mad
when we get home tonight.

Ho, ho!

Ah, we can handle them.

Give 'em a little
of that old sweet talk.

( chuckles )

They always go
for that malarkey

about "Oh, how we missed you
when we were gone."

( laughing )

Well, we're off.

( engine sputtering )

It won't turn over.

Maybe it's cold.

( sputtering )

Maybe it's a dead battery?

I'll go out
and have a look.

Why don't you try
the choke first?

I forgot about that.
Thanks, Alice.

Whoa!

Ralph...

I ain't got the courage
to look back there.

Is Mrs. Norton back there?

Right behind you.

Gee.

This is one of the sneakiest
tricks I've ever heard of.

When it comes
to sneaky tricks,
don't you talk!

How did you ever expect
to get away with this?

We would have
if you weren't

picking up some
other Racoons.

We would've been all
the way to the pier

before you knew
we were in the car.

Is that so?
Well, you're not goin'!

Well, you're not
goin' either.

You can't start the car!

Oh, I can't, huh?

I haven't driven a bus
for 15 years for nothin'.

I'll get the car started.
Don't worry about that.

( loud banging )

All right, get over there
and start the car

when I tell you it's okay.

Oh...

All right,
start the car.

( engine sputtering )

All right, all right.
I know what's wrong now.

Oh, yeah.

All right, start the car.

( engine sputtering )

Give me a hairpin, Trixie.

Oh, sure.

Ha-ha-ha. Hardy-har-har.

All right, Ed,
step on the starter now.

( both laughing )

( engine starting )

Well, let's get back
in the car, Ralph.

You're not gettin' in the car,
'cause you're not goin'!

Is that your
final word, Ralph?

That's my final word,
you're not goin'!

All right.

( engine stopping )

You think that stops me?

If you can do it,
I can do it. Look out.

Don't be too
sure, Ralph.

I ain't got
no hairpins.

Trixie, give me
another hairpin.

Sure.
Thank you.

Oh, a head start, eh?

Yeah.

All right,
start the motor.

( engine sputtering )

What did you do in there?!

Are you gonna take us?

I can't take you.

I told you,
it was a unanimous vote!

No wives are going
on the trip.

Look, they talked me into it.
Didn't they, Norton?

No comment.

There you are, see?
Honest, I can't take you.

I don't want to make
a fool out of myself.

Can't you understand what

this fishing trip
means to us, Ralph?

Don't you realize Trixie

and I went and
bought outfits?

And why? 'Cause we had
some kind of a crazy idea

that you might like
to take us along.

I'd love to take you...

Never mind, Ralph.

Never mind.

There you are.

Now you can go... alone.

Come on, Trixie.

Okay.

( Alice grumbling )

I hope you have a very
pleasant day, Ralph.

TRIXIE:
Yeah, enjoy yourself.

( door slams )

Well...

Well, I guess
we got away with it.

You can say that.

It took a little
doin', but we did it.

Next time we say somethin',
they'll know that we mean it.

You can say that again.
Well, we're off to fish.

( engine starting )

( engine stops )

What's wrong?

You know what's wrong.

Alice!

Hey, Trixie!

Come on down, Alice!
You can come with us.

Hurry up, will ya?