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For the past eight years I've been in business for myself.

My main line is men's socks, factory thirds,

which I buy in 200 pound bales

and sell three pairs for a dollar.

When I first started,

I was harassed by the local police

and the county sheriff's office to buy a peddler's license,

and that ate up all my profit.

Having formally worked as both a mind reader

and a fortune teller,

I knew that the long arm of the law was less likely

to reach out if I was under the Lord's protection.

And so I invented the Little Brothers of St. Mortimer.

[upbeat country music]

* There's a stranger in my mirror *

* Who don't know how to behave *

* He keeps grinnin' 'bout you and whistlin' tunes *

* While he ought to be watchin' me shave *

* We move alike and we look the same *

* But I swear we've got totally different brains *

* And the love we're in with you *

* Just makes it clearer *

* He used to be my twin *

* Now there's a stranger in my mirror *

* And he doesn't want to go out drinkin' *

* With all of his friends no more *

* He's got both of us thinkin', you're what we're livin' for *

* We've gone crazy and we can't recover *

* You're always on one mind or the other *

* I admit we should be certified *

* He's a little schizophrenic and so am I *

* There's a stranger in my mirror *

* Who don't know how to behave *

* He keeps grinnin' 'bout you and whistlin' tunes *

* While he ought to be watchin' me shave *

* We move alike and we look the same *

* But I swear we've got totally different brains *

* And the love we're in with you *

* Just makes it clearer *

* He used to be my twin *

* Now there's a stranger in my mirror *

[train horn blowing]

[train horn blowing]

[Brother Edgar] Bonjour.

Welcome to Como, South Arkansas.

It's not a town you call dumb, but mention culture

and they'll smash your balls with a hammer.

A dancing bear could earn more money

than Beethoven in this town.

That old Beethoven was a lousy dancer.

Stack 'em neatly Mr. Pittman,

and remember we are selling socks for God

made by blind Christian children.

Push the shit brown and hold back on the blue.

I got stuck with the shit brown last year.

Why you small time, no big time?

You, you, you, you, you'll die selling socks.

Right, like you nearly died on the Rio Grande.

We all have our dreams, Mr. Pittman.

I have earned these good citizens respect

by keeping their feet warm in the winter.

I have allowed them to experience a joy of giving.

Why?

Thank you ladies.

Thank you.

My dream, Morales, does not include Timberfest.

Does not include you.

And I tell you, it does not include socks.

Dream on, Brother Pittman, dream on.

[group clattering]

[door clicks]

[door bangs]

Bonjour.

Are you a lumberjack?

Moi?

No, no.

What is it that you're looking for, monsieur?

A book.

Smart move, you've come to the right place.

What kind of book?

A law book, "How to Become a Citizen of America".

Fourth shelf on your left, immigration Law.

Thank you.

[group chattering]

I'm thinking ahead here, Brother Edgar.

Reckon just how many I'm gonna need.

Well, I'm no visionary Mr. Spivey,

but guess it pays to think ahead.

I'll take this.

[fingers tapping]

Are you a county resident?

Uh.

Only county residents are allowed

to check books out from the Bookmobile.

Oh, Shakespeare.

I like Shakespeare.

You like Shakespeare?

Yes.

Shall I compare thee to the summer's day.

Thou art more lovely and um more...

uhh hot.

It's hot.

I'm hot.

Are you hot?

Hmm?

No, no, no.

Don't say anything.

[upbeat country music]

[ax thuds] [beer splashing]

Yeah!

Hey!

[chainsaw buzzing]

[ax thudding]

[man grunting]

Gotta go, bye.

See you later.

Welcome back, Mr. Pittman.

Give me 75 cents for a raspberry slush.

It's hot.

You think the streets are paved with raspberry slush, huh?

What's that?

It's an immigration book.

"How to Become an American Citizen".

No, wrong.

This is not a book about immigration.

This is a book about litigation.

Litigation.

No, no.

Immigration is what you do when you wanna move

from one country to another.

Litigation is what you do when the building company

drops a brick on your head or somebody cheats you.

Then you take 'em to court

and sue 'em for every buck you can get.

That's litigation.

Wow.

Sounds good.

I'll read it.

Now could you give me 75 cents for a raspberry slush

for my friend, please?

Please.

Thank you.

Yoo-hoo.

* I begged her not to go, said I could not live without her *

Oh, my God.

* She said don't be dramatic, you'll survive *

* She drove away, the sky turned gray *

* I cried all night about her *

* I'm still breathin' *

* But her leavin' hurts more each day I'm alive *

* If I can't live without her, how come I ain't dead *

* Six feet down in the cold, cold ground *

* With a stone above my head *

* But something's wrong 'cause now she's gone *

* And I live on instead *

* If I can't live without her, how come I ain't dead *

[birds chirping]

Would you look at the view?

Pretty as a picture.

Alive with flavor!

This is what makes America great.

Landscape and sales.

Sales is what makes America great.

[suspenseful music] [water splashing]

[ominous music]

[gun clicks]

Give me money.

I'm a traveling ministry,

the little money I have is designated for the poor.

Will you take socks instead?

Come on, I wanna see if you wooly gum or no.

Wooly socks yes, wooly gums no.

Just give me your size and I'll fish you out a pair.

Give me socks and money.

Now that's all I have.

What color for the socks?

Blue.

Huh?

I think I'm a tad short on blue.

[door clicking]

No messing or you're dead.

[slow tempo country music]

You're robbing me at these socks,

you are depriving the destitute,

taking the food from the mouths of orphans

currently reside in of the Little Brothers of St. Mortimer,

a home for Christian children.

Blind!

Consider that when you put 'em on.

Thanks.

You're welcome, Kid.

[water splashing]

Goddamn!

How long does it take a Mexican wetback

to evacuate his bowels?

Oh, no, 3000 legal Mexicans in the state of Arkansas

and I have to find this little dick.

Beautiful day, huh?

-Isn't it? -Looks like you're

a long way from home, Señor.

[Morales] Yeah.

[Sheriff Becker] Carry immigration papers at all times?

Why Sheriff Becker, what a pleasure to see you.

Mr. Pittman, what do you think y'all doing?

Jogging.

He's with you?

Newly arrived from our mission in Laredo.

Orphaned, tragic case. Did you say jogging?

Yep.

In this heat?

Jogging for Jesus.

Jesus.

Mr. Pittman and all the little brothers

of St. Mortimer counsels

for physical as well as spiritual wellness,

but we are gonna be late for God's work.

And protect your head against the sun at all times.

Thought I had myself a wetback there, Reverend.

Your vigilance and devotion to duty

is a credit to you, Sheriff.

Pledged to serve.

Campaigning for reelection I see.

All the way down to Lomas Falls.

Appreciate your vote.

Oh, Lomas, that's a long ride.

Not when there's hot tea waiting

at the end of it, Brother Edgar.

Tea? [chuckles]

How quaint.

Quaint, it ain't.

Bye.

[upbeat country music]

Go, get out of here!

Come on, go!

Screw you, Woolsey, hog shit farmer.

[gun bangs]

Why not try Plumrod's famous mile high pie

with wedges big enough to cover up a dinner plate

and meringue on top

that ain't nevertheless seven inches high.

And if it ain't, then Slovas Plumrod will give it you free.

I'll have the famous mile high pie.

For my friend, he will eat nothing

until he is finishes greens.

He needs his roughage.

[Morales speaking in foreign language]

Okay, you eat your greens and stop talking smut.

[Morales speaks in foreign language]

Yeah, as you say nice ass.

[brooding music]

Morales, Morales.

-What? -Look.

He's the one that robbed me.

Robbed you.

Who robbed you?

Him.

Oh, that's. [speaks in foreign language]

[speaks in foreign language] What?

Butterfly.

[Morales speaks in foreign language]

What Spanish, French, and German

with a trilingual dyslexic?

No, the kid, the kid.

What, what, what?

[Edgar and Morales] The White River Kid.

[plate shattering]

What's the matter with you?

Keep your voice down.

What, what?

And how many people did he kill, huh?

What five, six?

Oh. [speaks in foreign language]

What him? No, he ain't nothing but a child.

Mile high pie.

They've seen him.

You and your big mouth,

They're gonna shoot him down in the middle of my dessert.

You get no dessert or your roughage.

We have a duty.

We have to warn him.

[speaks in foreign language] This is a crazy motherfucker.

You go over there, he will kill you.

Why, why would he kill me?

I, I, I'm his redeemer.

If he kills you, I take the business.

The mile high pie to go, okay?

Oh, my shoe.

Kid.

Kid, remember me, huh?

I'm your friend.

[siren wailing]

The cops are waiting to kill you.

[tires screeching]

You take one step out of that front door and you're dead.

Not me.

They wooly gum, they gonna die.

Get out of here.

Eat my dog first.

[gun clicking]

Okay, have it your way.

Oh, excuse me.

Nice suit.

Fits you like snake.

Of course it does.

Thank you, Mr. Pines.

You have a nice day.

You gave him the wrong change.

No.

A fifty for a dollar to Mr. Pines, I saw it.

Look, Morales, there are some things

best left misunderstood.

Now come on, let's get outta here.

I've gotta talk to you.

[ominous music] [door bangs]

Huh, huh.

You wanna stay alive, keep your hands in view at all times.

My uncle learned that

when he surrender to the North Koreans.

Good today, gentlemen.

[Brother Edgar] A beacon in the wilderness, the Mount Ida Motel.

Pull over Morales, screw the expense.

Tonight we sleep in real beds.

Heaven.

[Kid] Drive on.

Go back, Reverend.

[Brother Edgar] Who's this we?

Tell the spic to hit the gas, Reverend.

Hit the gas, spic.

[van engine revving]

I got my girl along.

Oh good.

That's spic ate you're mile high, Reverend.

I've seen him do it.

Judas.

This here as the White River Kid.

He's got a gun, so you better just watch your ass.

And we are fixing to get married.

We are?

We engaged.

-Since when? -Right now.

That's when.

[laughs] I'm engaged.

We are about to get married.

Well, congratulations.

Isn't that wonderful, Morales?

Don't you think that's wonderful?

Yeah, mucho wonderful.

I cannot believe I'm gonna get married.

You gotta go meet my family first.

I ain't getting married till you do.

Alright.

Where is home Ms. Apple Lisa?

Is that somewhere around here?

It's Lomas Falls out by the big hole.

Lomas Falls.

Wow, that's, that's quite a bus ride.

Bus?

Where's the girl gonna get money for the bus?

Oh, please allow the brotherhood

to contribute to the fare.

A wedding present.

No, no, no, no.

You can take us, you can the wetback at the wheel.

You can take us and you can marry us.

Oh, wonderful.

Lomas Falls.

We can have some tea with the sheriff.

[motorcycle engine roaring]

[suspenseful country music]

[siren beeping]

[siren beeping]

You get your ass on back here, Kid.

I need to see what you got.

Uh, no, not on the socks.

-Drive on. -Please.

[water splashing]

[insects chirping]

[crow cawing]

[Brother Edgar scoffing]

The papers say you killed six or eight people, Kid.

The things I killed weren't people.

Not people?

Nope.

They's wooly gums.

Wooly gums? [chuckles]

What's wooly gums, Kid?

Just like...

Just like, just like fog

rising from the river.

Tried to kill me.

They tried to kill you when?

It's time they tried to catch me.

How can you tell a wooly gums from a normal person, hmm?

The eyes.

The eyes?

Yep, see wooly gyms, they got no light in the eyes.

No Sheriff, nobody cares if kill 'em all.

They ain't people.

No lie.

[both chuckle]

[air blowing] [brooding music]

Oh.

I would have got killed by Yonder at Plummer's

if it weren't for you.

I seen all them with their wooly gums.

You the only man who ever done anything like that

to help me before.

You're my friend.

I'm proud to be your friend, Kid.

Proud.

[White River Kid laughs]

Nobody ever want to shake hands with me like that before.

[Brother Edgar laughs]

[Morales humming]

[Morales speaking in foreign language]

Got a lot of mouth.

[Edgar] You said your prayers this morning, Mr. Pittman?

[Apple Lisa] Kid?

He's as crazy as a loon.

He's seeing wooly gums.

Wooly gums?

What's wooly gums?

Lomas Falls is the butt end of the universe.

I'd rather be tortured by North Koreans

then go to Lomas Falls.

And it means we miss the hog calling contest at Waco.

This is so bad for business.

Sheriff Becker's heading that way.

Uh.

We can't take this risk.

Are you looking for this?

If you kill him, you gotta kill her too.

She's got a mouth bigger than the whole Grand Canyon.

Si.

No.

What am I saying this?

This, this is murder.

You can't just go around killing people.

Kill today, national enquirer tomorrow.

You got an evil mind.

Look at me.

I lost my gun.

You see my gun?

Morales, you seen the kid's gun?

Here's your gun, Kid.

[suspenseful music]

Take it.

Yep.

Yep.

Ah.

[gun clicks]

[tense ominous music]

Look in my eyes.

[Apple Lisa] Blow his nose off, Kid.

[Kid] Keep looking.

[Brother Edgar] Kid, please.

[brooding guitar music]

Touch my gun again and I'll kill you.

Wooly gums or no.

This is so bad for business.

We gotta get rid of them.

[Apple Lisa] I want breakfast, let's go.

[Brother Edgar] Hamburgers, fries, donuts, colas.

You sure you don't want some salad with this stuff?

You know, we do have our complexions to consider.

Come here, come, come here.

Now look out there.

Huh?

That's county Sheriff Becker.

He knows you, Kid.

Everybody knows you.

That butterfly in your cheek, you are marked out.

You're famous.

Yeah, you're a famous, Kid.

You just take a walk over to the sheriff's office, hmm?

He'll see your face.

Wanted, the White River Kid.

[fast tempo country music]

[Teacher] All right, let's go, come on.

Where's my face?

It ain't up there.

Mr. Pittman, free at last! [laughs]

[Jim laughing]

Here you go, Jim.

Much obliged, Ralph.

That's what I'm here for.

[group chattering]

Let me look, Kid.

So will I see you at Boot Scooters

for the campaign kickoff?

Oh, you bet, Jim.

-You want off? -Yeah.

You wanna go?

Come on, let's go.

[Teacher] All right, let's go.

Whoo!

Whoo-ho-ho!

Kid!

[group chattering]

Thanks.

That's him, I'd know that tattoo anywhere.

Go, go, go!

[siren wailing]

-Oh. -Stop.

You stop.

I am lost.

I wanna go home.

And if you don't take me,

I'm gonna go find the sheriff and tell him.

Where, where have you been?

I've been all over this town searching for you.

-You're lost. -I told you.

[siren wailing]

[brakes screeching]

[Apple Lisa] Where's the kid and where's my damn cola and pop?

Hey, you're on my damn head.

-Oh! -Oh, you greaseball!

Hear that, she called me greaseball.

That's slander.

I'm gonna sue her.

And she hit you with her purse, that's assault.

-Uh-huh. -I got you on this.

-Uh-huh. -Shut up and go!

Uh-oh.

Just keep quiet.

Keep her quiet.

Stay here.

Just get back in the van, drive on through, Reverend.

I'll not impede God's progress.

You got a problem here, Sheriff?

White River Kid had another sighting.

What here in town?

Pretty certain it was him.

Got him a big campaign rally

kicking off Thursday at Boot Scooters,

I hope you'll come by and give it your blessing.

You can count on me, Sheriff.

Bless you.

[slow tempo country music]

Let's go, Lomas Falls.

Kid, where have you been?

I got colas.

[Apple Lisa] Oh, thank you, I needed, oh, God!

[Apple Lisa] You need to learn how to drive, damn stupid head.

Now, we don't want nobody

shooting first

and asking questions after, right, Kid?

Right.

So anybody ask

it's skin cancer.

Y'all hear me?

The kid has got cancer of the skin if anybody asks.

Let's put another one on here.

Whew.

If I don't get me a cola soon, I am just going to die.

[store clerk] Welcome to Socrates, Brother Edgar.

Is that Socrates as in Socrates,

the celebrated Greek philosopher?

It is indeed, Brother Edgar.

What a thing of a mind that must have been, huh?

What a dinner party.

Hey, give me those.

Come on.

[door clicks]

They want gas?

You want gas?

Uh, just $10 worth, that's that's all.

Just 10 bucks, Pasco.

[door bangs] [dog barking]

Trouble over there, Brother Edgar, big trouble.

The Dunn brothers, JC and Houston.

Couple of mean looking boys.

Social deprivation on the loose, huh?

Ah, look at this one.

-Oh yeah. -Huh?

I picked out this stuff.

And Lisa wants that dress.

You're embarrassing me here, son.

I've only got 20 and 10 of that's for gas.

This your boy?

Yes.

This is my boy.

[Morales sighs]

This is my son.

Here boy, you want a lucky rabbit's foot?

I like rabbit's foot too.

What's the matter about the boy's face?

Skin cancer.

He doesn't know.

I'm taking him to a clinic in Houston.

[Apple Lisa] Here, feel that.

There's no charges with these goods, Brother Edgar.

[Apple Lisa] Whoo.

-Thank you. -Feels good.

God bless you.

Come on children, let's go.

Take care now y'all.

[Apple Lisa] Bye, thank you.

[Houston] Will you look a the dago greaser.

Ain't he got the cutest ass? [laughs]

He's just like a gal, aren't you?

Why don't you shake that ass for us, greaseball.

[JC and Houston laughing]

What you doing in Socrates in that dress, boy?

We are a traveling ministry doing God's work.

Is it God's work?

Get in, get in, get in the van, get in the van.

Socrates you greaseball.

-Go back and play, boy! -You want I should

kill 'em, Brother Edgar?

No, no, no such things are necessary.

Just get in the van, get in the van.

Come on and play, huh?

[JC and Houston yelling]

-Come on boy. -Whoo-hoo.

[both cheering]

My uncle was a great hero in the Korean war.

Did I ever tell you that?

He swapped led with communists in the jungle.

And everybody knows communists are crazy.

As soon as they're acquiring it,

then they want to give it away.

They wanna share it.

Well, when I was a kid, my uncle taught me how to survive.

Survival is virtue.

Turn the other cheek and survive.

[slow tempo country music]

[chain clanging]

We have wandered onto the set

of "The Night of the Living Dead".

Which cheek you gonna turn now, Brother Edgar?

Y'all strangers get out of the van.

[door bangs]

You boys move over or you will lament the day.

For we under the Lord's protection.

[Houston spits]

I suspect the word lament is causing them some problems.

Stay put everybody and I'll, I'll go parlay with the natives

and I'm sure they'll listen to reason.

Come on now y'all walk away from the van.

It's no use to you.

And you can leave the bitch.

She's gonna get shag assed.

Ain't no, mister. [laughs]

I want that spic, JC.

You got him, Houston.

Look this, this

is a sacred cross

of the Little Brothers of St. Mortimer.

Behold the cross.

Behold the chain.

Hang on.

You are breaking the law.

Every citizen is guarantee free and peaceful access

to the highways.

Now move or we will file a class A action suit

for disturbance of the peace

and the deprivation of our civil right.

[Houston laughing]

Clarence Darrow lives.

Move your ass! [speaking in foreign language]

[Morales grunts] [chain clanging]

[knife slashes] [dramatic music]

JC.

[Houston gurgling]

Uh, uh, uh, who are y'all?

Kid!

Wooly gums, you're not taking me back.

Kid, no!

[gun bangs]

Oh, no.

They broke the law.

They was wooly gums.

You know, there's a growing belief

that hell actually exists

somewhere beneath the earth crust.

Figure here's as a good as place as any to start digging.

[hog squealing]

Hogs.

[suspenseful music]

Hogs!

Get out!

Come on, get the hell out!

[Kid] Drive this van!

Kid, why you so scared, Kid?

Hogs, razorback hogs, they eat anything.

Anything.

They ain't nothing but hog shit tomorrow.

Quite an obituary.

They hog shit now.

America's sure going to miss those boys.

[slow tempo country music]

* Hidin' your feelings and biding your time *

* Travelin' by is one town at a time *

* It's your design *

* Your life is fine but read the signs *

* You got gas in your tank and the road for your home *

* Time on your side and your life is your own *

* And looking back a waste of time but read the signs *

* With no one to hold you you gather no moss *

* Ahead of the game so you say *

* No where to stay yet you're feeling no loss *

* 'Cause you're leading the life of a stray *

* Both night and day *

* Seasons will change and your life is the same *

* And someday you wake up and find you're all alone *

* And out of time *

-Whoo! -Get it, Kid.

Go on.

* The signs *

Gotta get my thing off.

Wait!

Here I come.

We can go now.

What?

Yeah, let's go.

We just leave them here.

-Kid. -What are you talking about?

-What? -Kid.

Do that and some deputies gonna see devils

coming outta Kid's ears and put up a bullet in his skull.

-Kid. -You can't.

Kid, where are you?

Just leave him here?

Why not?

What are you gonna do?

You wanna save his soul?

Kid's a killer.

-Kid. -Huh?

What about you?

What are you now you've added murder

to your list of misdemeanor, Senor Pittman, huh?

Justifiable homicide.

Self-defense.

I save your life.

We're quits now, oh yes.

-Kid. -No.

[Apple Lisa] Come up out of that water right now.

Not in my book.

Hey, where's he gone?

He's gone.

He's, he's, he's just diving, don't worry.

No, he's not coming up.

Kid, Kid.

He can't hear you.

Of course he can't hear me,

he's under the goddamn water, you dumb-ass.

He might drown.

He's not gonna drown.

This is the White River Kid, this boy is a fish.

You watch 20 bucks says he'll be back up

before you can count to 10.

You gotta bet.

You would bet money on this boy's life.

Besides you don't have the money to gamble.

Put it on my tab.

You have a wager.

Deal.

One.

Dos.

Trois.

Four!

He's underground that boy.

Get him out, get him out.

He's not gonna drown, I told you it's impossible.

Five!

Stop that counting!

Stop it!

Just hold it, will you, Morales?

Where have you gone?

Kid!

Six!

Stop it!

Stop it.

He went in over there.

Not now.

Don't take him now, please.

-Kid! -Get him out.

Kid.

Come on.

Please help him. Kid, where are you?

Kid?

-10! -No!

You think I'm paying you, you're sick!

No.

Verbal contract enforceable by law small claims court.

Ha!

Whoa!

[Apple Lisa cheering]

Hey, right there!

What, what did I tell you?

Kid.

Brother Edgar, this old fish has been waiting for you.

[White River Kid laughs]

[fire crackling] [insects chirping]

[gentle music]

Making love like this, you are gonna give me a baby.

Drinking wine gives you babies.

[both laughing]

Too funny.

Who told you that?

Mom.

She said every time she drank wine, she had a baby.

[both laughing]

Well, how many babies does she have?

Why too many I guess.

Don't really know.

We were put in a home.

They put you in a home.

Told me love God,

and they baptized me with water,

and whipped my ass to drive the devil out.

So I walked on out of there.

I live by the river.

And on the river.

And in the river.

I love the river.

I love you.

[upbeat country music]

* Trying hard to solve a crime *

* In a peaceful town, it's summertime time *

* A pretty girl just kissed her love goodbye *

* Sometime at night he disappear *

* Foul play is what the sheriff feared *

* To the unsuspecting victim of the crime *

Yee-haw!

Whoo!

[woman giggles]

Ah.

Look.

* Sheriff covered miles of ground *

* No trace remained, no clues were found *

* There seemed like no solution to the case *

* Then a guy appeared one day *

* And the sweet gal's grief was swept away *

* This handyman was fixin' up her fate *

I said smile.

* You can't out run the long arm of the law *

* You can't out run the long *

Okay?

* Of the law *

I'll be back.

* It reaches long so if you're wrong *

* You're surely gonna fall *

* 'Cause you can't out run the long arm of the law *

[group clapping] [group cheering]

[slow tempo gentle music]

Excuse me ma'am, you appear to be abandoned.

Like a ship in the desert.

Huh?

My one night off in the weekend,

I get stuck with a rotten apple.

Uh, huh.

May I offer you a seat at my table?

Why thank you, Sir.

What is a gentleman like you doing in a place like this?

Allow me.

Thank you.

* Fresh snow blossoms in the spring *

Would you care for a drink?

No hurry.

When the waiter stops by, I'll have a Cincinnati pussy.

* They was near *

I've never had one of those.

It's got quite a kick to it.

And then it makes you purr.

Huh?

Make a change from all that tea.

Tea?

Huh?

From what I hear, Lomas Falls is a place for tea.

Well, if that's what you heard, then it may be so.

Oh.

[insects chirping]

* Live like you love each day *

* Shadow cast point *

You got a light?

But of course, allow me.

Nice voice.

I like a man with an nice voice, gets the juices flowing.

Hmm.

You know what I mean?

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

[insects chirping]

Look at him in there sitting in there acting all holy.

He is not so holy.

Believe me, I've seen it in his eyes.

[fast tempo upbeat country music]

I want a soda.

Me too.

* There's a stranger in my mirror *

* Who don't know how to behave *

* He keeps grinnin' 'bout you and whistlin' tunes *

Excuse me a second, I'll be back in two minutes, okay?

-I didn't expect to see you. -Campaigning all the way

to Lomas Falls with Sheriff Becker.

Wouldn't have missed it for the world.

* There's a stranger in my mirror *

* Who don't know how to behave *

Hey, Mr. Pines.

How you doing?

Oh, I know your face.

Morales Velazquez Hernandez Rivera Pittman,

attorney of law.

Maybe I can be of help to you.

Sure, sure, you can help me.

Just stay out of my way.

* Used to be my twin *

* Now there's a stranger in my mirror *

Still like your suit, Mr. Pines.

[group cheering] [group clapping]

Now I'd like to put God's word behind my campaign.

You all know him.

You know him for his work with the blind and the disabled.

You all wear his socks.

[group laughing]

Come up here, Brother Edgar

of the Little Brothers of St. Mortimer.

[group clapping]

Um, excuse me.

Brother Edgar

[Sheriff] All right, brother.

Brother Edgar.

Yes, sir.

Thank you, Sheriff.

I've known this fine man for,

how long has it been?

We were kids together.

Yeah, we, we were kids together.

I chose the law, Brother Edgar chose God.

Amen.

Amen.

God and justice on the highway.

County Sheriff Becker point your votes in his direction.

And now at this time,

I would like you all to bow your heads

for a moment in silent meditation

for those less fortunate than ourselves.

In this land lock state of Arkansas,

let us pray...for those

in peril on the sea.

Where's that damn soda?

Hi, um, my name is Valentine Costello

and I'm a trainee as a hosiery technician

for the Little Brothers of St. Mortimer.

And I'd just like to have a word with everyone if I could.

I'll do, Ms. Costello.

Ms. Valentine Costello, ladies and gentlemen.

[group clapping]

Thank you.

I wanna tell you about this man, okay?

I wanna tell you the truth about Brother Edgar

and those Little Brothers of St. Mortimer.

Brother Edgar, he is a,

a modest kind of man, y'all.

And he just never say it for himself

so I'm going to speak it for him here.

He has dedicated his life to helping others.

[group clapping]

[gentle country music]

To widows, and orphans, to the deaf, and the blind,

to pets in danger lost out on the highway.

Buddy, you got a flat,

while he'll stop and help you mend that.

[Apple Lisa] And sister, you got a heart that aches.

Well, he's gonna help you men that too, okay?

So please, please, people put your hands in your pockets

as I pass the hat

for Brother Edgar's Home for the Blind Christian Children.

Yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Thank you.

Thank y'all.

Fine girl, fine girl.

[slow tempo country music]

Eva Nell's,

the place for tea.

Now one brews it quite like she.

Edge of the crater.

We must be getting near the Lomas.

Right up ahead.

[Apple Lisa] There's the Indian, there's the Indian.

[Brother Edgar] Signs of civilization.

We must be nearly there, huh?

[Apple Lisa] Yeah, I'll tell you as soon as I see the hole.

Hurry up, Brother Edgar.

[Brother Edgar] Okay.

Look, there's my home.

No place like home, huh?

[chickens clucking]

There's my brother, little Elvis.

There's my daddy!

Daddy, Daddy!

-Lisa. -Hey, I'm home.

Lisa, Lisa, is that you?

Yes, it's me.

[Baker cheering]

Kid, this is called meeting the folks.

And you don't meet the folks

with a gun sticking out of your belt.

Leaves a bad impression.

-Right. -Great, we got our Lisa back!

Mom!

Mama.

Oh, you look so pretty in them new clothes.

Lisa, baby, he done cured my cancer.

Who done cured your cancer?

-Elvis. -Elvis?

The king.

He done cured my cancer.

Yay!

Yay!

Look at Reggie. Yeah.

Reggie, hey.

Look at you, you got all big.

I did get big.

How did you get the inspiration

to pray to the king, ma'am?

Brother Tonic, he told me.

Brother Tonic?

Snake chunking man does impression of Elvis in Poke.

You look like you're working for God.

Indeed I am.

You do Elvis impressions?

Not at this time, no.

But as a youth,

I was thought to have a passing resemblance

to Albert Schweitzer.

I am Brother Edgar.

Socks.

Socks, yeah.

I heard of you before.

Baker Weed.

And I'm Idris Weed.

That's my boy.

That good looker there with the sweet eyes.

Oh, um, Bird.

Call me Mr. Bird.

Ms. Apple Lisa and Mr. Bird are engaged to be married.

Engaged to be married.

Oh my.

[Reggie gasps]

Well we drove the happy couple to your house

and now we must be winding our way.

God and the highway calls.

Well, can't let you go

without you joining us for dinner.

Well, we got Uncle Ben's and gravy and little salt meat.

So that's decided.

Come on Little Elvis.

Thank you.

Well, you are a good Christian.

You do your duty, we go to heaven, now we go.

Come out and show yourself, then we can go, hmm?

[metal clanging] [water splashing]

Mighty big explosion, that's what happened.

So big, so loud.

It's still shaking cups in China.

Factory just disappeared when the fires out,

the dust settled, the factory was gone.

And all the men in the town was gone.

[gentle brooding music]

[crow cawing]

My daddy's in that hole somewhere.

Mama Weed, she lost her daddy.

And Uncle Newton, Uncle Taper, boom! [chuckles]

They never had no jobs before.

They was real pleased to get a job.

Dunrap Street.

Ms. Eva Nell La Fangroy Tea House.

Ms. Eva Nell. Hmm.

The place for tea.

No one brews it quite like she.

Edge of the crater.

Consenting adults only.

Yeah.

You look like you've been wrestling

with a bobcat, Mr. Bird.

What's the matter with his face, Daddy?

My face is all chewed up with something.

But Brother Edgar's gonna fix him up

and taking the doctor.

You going to have to sing to Elvis, Mr. Bird.

When he hears you singing his songs and praying,

he jumps down and helps.

Set you up to work tomorrow, young man,

in the family business in breeding and selling rabbits.

Huh.

Reggie, now he looked just like Elvis

till the lumber company knocked the teeth out his mouth.

[Reggie laughs]

The Kenrod Lumber comp, Company.

How did they do that, Reginal?

I spit teeth for a week.

Mm, one can imagine.

Truck hit Reggie, you in the mouth.

A whole truck?

A pole.

A what?

A beam pole on the back of a truck

smacked him in the mouth.

They sent a letter.

Yeah and they's real sorry about that too, huh, Daddy?

We're real proud of that letter.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Please.

Just take it.

You know Elvis, Brother Edgar?

Are you a snake chunking man?

Course, yeah, I met him once.

You did?

Yeah.

He gave a generous donation

to my Christian Children's Home for the Blind.

Oh, my. Listen to this.

Huh? Listen to this.

Kenrod Lumber Company. Uh-huh.

Dear Ms. Weed, I would like to express my sincere regret

on the recent collision with Reggie Weed,

ba, ba, ba, ba, business, yeah, no,

our responsibility for you being

and [chattering] time and again I regret

to learn of your unfortunate accident

and wish you good health and a fast recovery.

This letter is tantamount to confession of neglect.

You understand?

Is a reckless endangerment of the health

of minors in the workplace.

I think we have a case here, Master Reginal.

-Oh. -Yes.

[Reggie laughs]

This is dangerous information gleaned

from a stolen book, Brother Pittman.

-Mm-hmm. -Come to larceny.

Who wants hot cornbread and syrup?

-Me, me, me, me.

-Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me,

-me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me

me, me, me, me!

I don't remember writing this.

Well, it's signed by you, eh?

Over here.

I sign a lot of stuff.

Reginal.

-Reggie! -What?

Smile for the guy, please.

Look at that, look at that.

Not that I'm admitting to any kind of liability here,

but how much we talking about?

75, maybe a hundred.

A hundred dollars?

[laughs] A hundred thousand dollars.

Hundred thousand dollars.

Yep.

[Fergus laughing]

[group laughing]

[air hissing]

You can kiss my achin' butt.

Get outta here.

No, no.

Mr. Kenrod, look at my client's face, please.

Oh, yeah, I'm looking.

Who could ignore a face like that?

This is a serious industrial injury.

No, no, this is a seriously ugly face.

Mr. Kenrod, as Mr. Weed's legal representative,

I must point out to you that vilification by cooperation

and defamation will do nothing to facilitate

an easy settlement of this dispute.

Now look he just lost a couple of teeth.

Here, here, look here.

Come here, come up here, look here.

Hey there.

28.95 mail order.

Pearl Harbor International School of Dentistry.

I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

I'm gonna give you $30, and I want you to go out there,

and get that boy a new set of teeth.

This was the smartest move that I ever made.

You not appear to understand, Mr. Kenrod.

There are complications, eh?

What do you mean complications?

Cerebral complications.

Cerebral?

Uh-huh. Yeah.

What, what are you talking about?

The, the brain is damaged, eh?

You know, just look at him.

Oh my God, I didn't know.

Look, you know an old boy named Pines?

Ralph Pines, you ever heard of him?

I am his legal representative.

Oh, dear Lord, please God.

Well then you must know his organization.

Your organization.

So buddy, man, I'm being bled dry here.

Do you understand?

If I don't pay, I can't get my, my,

they're gonna pull my trucks off the road.

Then I've already got two boys in the hospital right now.

I took two off.

Don't worry about it.

-No. -Don't worry.

I, I just, I just don't have the kind of money

that you're talking about.

And look fellas, all, all I'm asking for here

is just a little bit a Christian charity.

-Christian charity. -Yes, sir.

You are a Christian, ain't ya?

Oh yeah a lot.

Yeah, ooh. [laughing]

[group laughing]

[logs thudding]

Oh God, I've never had $2,000 before.

Invest it wisely, Reginal.

Mutual bonds may help.

Oh, oh, that's a nice car.

Oh.

Mr. Pines.

Oh, Mr. Pittman.

What?

We should go to the Kroger Mall in Paxton

because I slipped and I fell on my brain

and I've had headaches ever since.

-Reggie. -Huh?

-Huh? -I love you, man.

-Huh? -I love you.

-Yeah. -Let's go.

Where do you think you're going?

Hasta la vista, boss.

I'll see you later.

[gentle music] [birds chirping]

Good morning.

You just come down from up top?

The Weeds, yeah.

[Eva laughing]

La maison Weed.

[laughs] La maison Weed.

Mais oui.

How you doing today?

You wanna come in for some tea?

[Brother Edgar chuckles]

I'm just going to the grocery store.

Get me some honey buns and a quart of half and half.

Okay.

Thank you.

[door clicks]

Did you inherit those whiskers from your daddy

or did you grow 'em yourself?

Grew 'em myself.

[chuckles] Good job.

[new reporters] Said she wants to die.

More details now on those mysterious deaths in Socrates.

Gary Boone Jr. was at the scene.

An abandoned pickup truck with the tires eaten away

alerted county Sheriff Jim Becker's team

to these lonely woods.

It's my belief that we're looking here

at the mortal remains of either JC

or his brother Houston Bunn.

This morning these teeth

were eating chow, chewing tobacco.

Chewing tobacco's so bad for the teeth.

The Bunn's pickup truck must have stalled

and when they got out to fix it

they got set on by Razorback Hogs.

They never had a chance.

$6 and 80 cents.

[change clanging] [TV chattering]

-Thank you. -Thank you.

[TV chattering]

The deaths are not thought to be linked

to the White River Kid who still remains at liberty.

The kid is armed and dangerous and should not be approached.

[birds chirping]

Milk and honey buns.

Bring 'em over.

Free of charge.

Can't promise to return the favor.

[gentle music]

Thank you.

[bell ringing]

You have to excuse me, I have so many chores need doing.

Morning, ma'am.

Campaigning for reelection.

Appreciate your vote.

Step right in, kettle's on.

[door bangs]

[Eva] Just what makes you think I'll be voting for you, Jim?

Eva Nell, after all these years that hurts.

I count you as a friend.

And I count you as a friend, Jim.

But I don't like the company you keep.

You and that Mr. Pines.

Little bit of back scratching sure,

but you let 'em get too close.

I got a bad taste.

I'm telling you the truth now, Jim.

And that's what friends are for.

[lips smack]

[rock music]

Yeah, yeah!

Apple Lisa!

-Hey, Mama. -Whoo!

Daddy, Reggie's got a car.

[horn honking]

-Daddy! -Yo, Reggie's got a new car.

[Apple Lisa] It's so beautiful, Reggie.

Look at my new car.

So beautiful.

Whoo, Daddy!

Oh, you hot now, Reggie.

For the whole, whole family, eh?

[group chattering]

I love this lavender paint job.

[horn honks]

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

What about the home?

What about the rent on the house, food?

In today's America, a car is the wisest investment

a man can make.

-That's right. -Am I right?

You got a car, there's always someplace you can go.

We can go to Graceland now.

We sure can.

Now get right in here, my dear.

There you go.

-Woo-hoo! -Yes, Reggie.

[group chattering]

Hey, start it up.

This is one machine.

-Start it up. -One mean machine.

Look at that.

Be careful now,

don't you go smarsh any of my rabbits down the hill.

Rev it up.

Goddamn, this is a beauty.

[group chattering]

Hey, start it up.

I saved you from the Rio Grande for this?

Become nothing more than a lousy con man.

I had a good teacher.

Reginal and I, we got a partnership now.

Big business.

His natural talent and my jurisprudence.

You call losing his teeth a natural talent?

You talk a the while about business.

You know so much about business.

And where's your pot to piss in, eh?

Here, the 20 I owe you.

No more business.

We are quits now.

Now go and find yourself another wetback.

20 bucks.

You try and buy me out for a measly 20 bucks.

Less offer.

I do you a favor.

Make it 25.

Consider Mr. Pittman the heartache of parents

nurturing a child through the tender years

and have them turn bad.

Become nothing more than a cheap con man

in a vulgar automobile.

Who are you talking about me or you?

I weep for your father and mother, Morales.

Huh?

You know me, boss.

Me just a no good dago greaseball Mexican wetback.

Work no money, do gardening, clean your swimming pool.

I'll tell you your problem, Mr. Bullshit.

So listen, you need a lady to get you out of this dress.

You know what I'm saying?

You need tea and you need it hot.

[upbeat country music]

-Get down, Reginal. -Oh, my God, look at that.

Oh, yeah, look at that.

Yeah, yeah, they are gold women.

They are beautiful and potentially dangerous.

-Reggie. -Oh, what?

Take it easy.

We are looking for a red Cadillac.

A red Cadillac.

* I was waving out the windows *

A red Cadillac.

* He was busy eating goners *

* He was movin' too fast *

* Said excuse me ma'am, we're looking for the killer man *

* Well, she thought about a copy *

Mr. Pines, here we come.

Here we come, Mr. Pines. [chuckles]

Mr. Pines, where are you?

-Excuse, excuse me. -Mr. Pines.

Oh, oh.

Excuse me, sir, excuse me.

-Oh, my God. -Hey, hey, listen to me.

-What? -We're here

looking for Mr. Pines.

Hey, this is not a game.

-Okay. -All right.

-Okay. -Okay, keep it down.

Mr. Pines.

Excuse us, sir.

Hey, hey.

Mr. Pines.

-Hi. -How do you do?

Remember me?

Morales Pittman.

Remember me?

What the hell do you want, Mr. Pittman?

You are like Jesus.

He turns water into wine.

You can turn a dollar bill into a c-note.

Uh-huh.

I like that.

It's magic.

Magic.

We, we would love to work for you.

I am an attorney of law

and this is my business associate Mr. Weeds.

Reginal Weed.

Reginal Weed.

Well, Mr. Pittman, what exactly are you offering?

Protection, and legal advice, and uh-

Protection.

-Protection. -Protection.

You're offering me protection?

You want to regret it.

Would you mind helping me out here?

Oh, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely.

Yeah.

Thank you, thank you.

Just one moment.

Take your time.

[Reggie chattering]

[gun thuds] [Reggie groans]

What is with you ignorant motherfuckers.

Protection?

You follow me again and I'll put your brains in the gutter.

Now get him outta here.

[Reggie groaning]

Come on, Reggie, come on.

Come on, get up.

[Reggie groaning]

[man laughing] [gentle music]

[TV] There's a very charming girl too.

[Mortimer groaning]

[group laughing]

This is Charlie.

[Charlie grunting] [group laughing]

-Isn't he funny Charlie? -I don't think it's funny.

[group laughing]

Well, now I'm very happy to tell you, Mortimer,

that you're going to inherit $2,000.

Oh, boy, yes, yes.

But through legal proceedings

you're going to lose it.

[TV chattering]

[group laughing]

I wanna stay here, Brother Edgar.

This is my home.

Then stay.

Make it your home.

They gonna see the butterfly on my cheek.

That's when the shooting's gonna start.

Kid, listen, don't you worry.

The White River Kid is just gonna disappear.

Every time someone sees a strange footprint in the mud,

lose their catfish off a line

or just sees a ripple in the water,

that's a White River Kid.

Don't worry I'll fix that.

I'll fix it.

Yeah.

[Brother Edgar chuckles]

[upbeat country music]

Welcome to Hot Springs.

Mystical place.

Once thought to be the fountain of youth.

Yep, they got healing powers here, Kid.

Come on, this is gonna change your life.

Okay, I'm gonna meet you back right here.

Kid.

Hold on, must be some kind mistake.

Oh, quit your belly aching, you're getting a bathtub

all paid up courtesy of the Little Brothers St. Mortimer.

Cool.

This is the home of William Jefferson Clinton,

42nd president, the United States.

I called him Bill.

He had his problems too, Kid.

It's all sensational at the moment, Kid.

But you get used to it.

There's more sharks than catfish on the street,

I'll tell you.

That's, no, come on, Kid, come on.

Come on, it's nice, yeah, I know.

It's nice.

Pretty, very pretty.

Hey, you can't just take that.

No, no, no, no.

Take this here, yeah?

Oh, okay.

Yep, Brother Edgar and me, we go back a long way.

The right Brother Edgar?

Hell, I know him as a child.

All right now, this is not gonna hurt.

Thank you.

Oh, bye.

Here you go, ma'am.

Running for reelection.

Appreciate your vote.

Hey, I, I've seen, seen this man.

He just went down the street there.

[tool whirring]

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, this is- This is heaven.

Yeah, on earth.

Fit for the king.

Don't forget up behind my ears.

Oh, yeah.

Your turn next.

[hands slapping]

[door clicks]

Doc Poole.

Oh!

Mm.

Let me see it.

Oh, it's gone, it is gone.

Call me Mr. Bird.

Oh Mr. Bird.

I love you.

[Brother Edgar] Let love sustain us through the years,

make us brave, wipe off our tears.

Bring our hearts so close,

they hear each other's every throb and fear.

Then when at last, our ashes lie together,

'neath our local sky.

The folk will bring our offerings and flowers

strewn on the common plot that's ours.

And pray through us to heaven above

for we shall be the saints of love.

You may kiss the bride.

[group clapping]

Whoo!

Oh, Mama.

-Got the ham. -Cheers.

Thank you Brother Edgar.

Big ham, Daddy.

Food's hot.

Wedding fest courtesy of Brother Edgar.

Woo, thank you.

Brother Edgar runs a home

for blind children, Ms. La Fangroy.

It's writ on the side of his van.

He's a saint.

Do you perform miracles, St. Edgar?

Maybe you could restore my sight.

God performs miracles, Ms. La Fangroy.

I sell socks.

I'm in need of daylight, not socks.

Little Brothers of St. Mortimer,

only time I ever heard that name before

was on the Edgar Bergen Charlie McCarthy show.

Snerd, right?

[Idris laughs]

That Mortimer Snerd, he's real funny and dumb.

I love him.

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

Now give us a few sacred words, Brother Edgar.

Yeah, let's hear it

from the Little Brothers of St. Mortimer.

Speak to us about heaven and hell.

Which way are we heading?

People often ask me about heaven and hell

and I tell 'em, heaven is right here on earth,

here with his family.

Where people sit and eat and drink together.

Hell is a soul craving in a family,

who finds itself on its own out in the cold.

There are angels sitting at this table, Ms. La Fangroy,

and that's what I call heaven.

You have such a way with words, Brother Edgar.

Amen.

Why thank you, Brother Pittman.

You boys as pretty as a picture, Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

[group laughing]

[Morales speaks in foreign language]

Yeah, double whammy, huh?

Quiet no doubt pursuing your business partnership.

Yeah, at the bathhouse downtown-

-Shut up. -Ow.

Product of Reggie's natural talent and your jurisprudence.

[Brother Edgar chuckles]

I see, there are some posters up in town.

Wanted the White River Kid, $10,000 reward.

I didn't see those.

That's because you were not looking, Reggie.

Oh yeah.

This is not a topic for a wedding feast, Mr. Pittman.

$10,000 For a positive ID.

He got a tattoo, a butterfly right there

exactly where you got the bandage.

What are you hiding, Kid?

Bird, his name is Bird.

What are you hiding?

Mr. Bird, he got the cancer

just like me eating his face up.

Hey, maybe you are the White River Kid.

Yeah, sure, and maybe you're Clarence Darrow, huh?

Let's take a look.

[band-aid rips] [White River Kid grunts]

[brooding music]

You see, I ain't no White River Kid.

My name's Mr. Bird.

* Glory, glory, hallelujah *

Hey, Morales, maybe you're the White River Kid, huh?

Oh!

Hey, Reggie, maybe you're the White River Kid?

* Is marching on *

[gentle music]

You sang to Elvis and Elvis, he bring you a miracle.

[insects chirping]

Is the kid your son?

No.

No, he is not my son.

You act like he was.

What drove you into the church, Brother Edgar?

Necessity.

Necessity drove me.

Just like it drove me to your door.

[door clicks]

[door bangs]

Is the light on?

Just the one in the corner.

You want more light?

I can see.

I can see you.

That's all I want to see.

Close the door.

[door clicks]

Home for blind children, huh?

And here you are standing in Ms. La Fangroy's tea room.

I'd like to explain-

Oh, don't tease my brain with excuses, Reverend.

Just pay me now in case you decide to run.

How does blind woman tell the difference

between a five and a 50?

Is that what you're thinking?

Well, that's a five and that's a five.

And that's 50 and so's that.

Okay.

Keep your hands to yourself, Reverend.

Just 'cause a holy man give me a hundred bucks,

don't mean he get to sit right down to tea.

Take off your clothes.

Why?

I never met a man so nervous

of what a blind woman might see.

Take off your frock, Brother Edgar.

Sit in that chair.

[gentle music]

Look, I'm not used to this.

Maybe we should stop.

What and lose your a hundred bucks?

We can do this at a distance if you want.

Sex without the fear and inconvenience of human contact,

you'd be surprised how many people prefer that?

Or we can do it up close.

So you think you can redeem the White River Kid, huh?

Turn him into a bird.

You said you thought he was my son.

No, I said you did.

Well what about redemption, Reverend?

Where does redemption sit among those angels at your table?

Can you feel me near?

Feel my breath?

You feel me touch you with my breath?

Oh, you're just a little boy.

That's all you are.

If your hands could reach out, feel, touch, little boy,

what would they touch?

Touch my hair?

My shoulders?

Then caress my breasts?

Or would they just reach out and touch redemption?

Hush.

Hush.

Shh.

[chickens clucking]

Here we come. Mr. Pines.

Mr. Pittman, Mr. Pittman!

-Shut up. -I'm all ready to go.

-Shh. -I'm all ready.

Go, go and wait for me in the car.

Okay.

This gonna be so much fun.

It's gonna be a lot of fun.

A lot of fun.

[slow tempo guitar music]

Hey, Kid, quick, the sheriff is coming to get you.

Wooly gums, they are everywhere.

Everywhere.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Kid, Kid.

This is gonna be fun.

This is gonna be fun.

Kid, no!

Hey, red Cadillac!

It's, it's Mr. Pines.

Mr. Pines, right on time.

[tires screeching]

Down, down, get down.

Hey, Kid, don't get up

until I say wooly gums, you understand?

-Okay. -All right.

Going to the falls, huh?

Damn you, Morales.

[ominous music]

[tires screeching]

[tires screeching]

Yeah.

Okay, so you wanna play?

We're gonna play, you fuck.

[car smashing] [brakes squeaking]

[suspenseful music]

[car smashing] [Apple Lisa screams]

Ah!

[car smashing]

Come here, come here, you fucker.

[Reggie grunts]

[tires screeching] [car smashes]

[horn honks]

[Reggie laughs] [brooding music]

-Oh, shit. -Huh.

Wooly gums!

[gun banging]

[slow tempo suspenseful music]

Get the briefcase, go, go, go!

Come on.

Go help my kid.

Yeah, sure.

Go help my kid right now!

-Go! -Okay, okay.

-Go! -Okay!

Reggie, pick it up!

Put it in the car, put it in the car now!

Kid.

What?

Kid?

[ominous music]

[birds chirping]

[knife slashes]

[suspenseful music]

Kid!

[gun banging]

[knife whooshes] [gun bangs]

Ow.

[brooding music]

No.

[body thuds]

[White River Kid groaning]

No, no!

[water splashing]

[Apple Lisa panting]

Let's go.

I gotta go help him.

No, no, no, no, no.

Listen, that's impossible.

-No. -The kid's back in the river.

We gotta go.

-Move. -Kid.

-Oh, Kid. -Yeah, let's go, let's go.

-No. -Come on.

Come on, come on, move.

Move, move.

Reggie, do you got the money?

These are nice shoes.

Beautiful, beautiful.

Put the fucking shoes back in there!

Ugh.

Someone is coming.

Throw me the money, throw me the money.

Let's go.

Someone's coming.

Let's go.

From now on it's just you and me, Reggie.

You and me.

Big business, big fucking business.

Big fucking business.

[Apple Lisa groans]

[Apple Lisa panting]

What happened?

Oh my God.

[Apple Lisa crying]

Mama.

Baby.

Mama.

Mama. [crying]

-Baby. -Mama.

Oh, baby.

[Apple Lisa crying]

There's been a shooting scrape.

Mr. Bird is dead.

[Apple Lisa crying]

Another man too.

Reggie and Morales are okay.

Apple Lisa, she, she wasn't involved.

They shot him?

They shot him.

Mr. Bird is dead.

God rest his soul.

Hush, hush now, baby.

Shh.

He was a gift come to us.

Now he's with the Lord.

He brung you home.

You're home now, baby.

Come here, boy.

Come here.

[Brother Edgar crying]

You take care now.

Take care.

[birds chirping]

Eva Nell.

Brother Edgar.

Where you going?

With you.

[gentle music]

I hear how there's some blind Christian children

needing care.

I figure a woman like me could help 'em see things straight.

Let's get your cases in the van.

Come on, my dear.

[siren wailing]

[insects chirping]

[tires screeching]

[car door clicks]

County Sheriff Becker.

Fasten your safety belt.

[door clicks]

[door sliding]

Brother Edgar.

Ms. La Fangroy.

That you, Jim?

You wearing that on duty boy scout face of yours today?

Moving on, huh?

Doing God's work, Sheriff.

I don't see you cut out

for missionary work, Ms. Eva Nell.

Brewed my last pot of tea, Jim.

Maybe not.

[door sliding]

There's been a killing up Yonder.

Ralph Pines is dead.

That's what I heard.

There was a kid seen with you

in Hot Springs, Brother Edgar.

I'm trying to be a good Christian here

and look out for friends.

But there's a few questions that need answering.

Some questions best left unanswered, Jim.

Don't you think?

I heard how you caught the White River Kid

red-handed robbin' and killing Mr. Pines.

How you shot him and he fell into the river.

Is that a fact?

Well that's what they're saying.

Your reelection coming up, news of this gets out,

could be a landslide.

Shot and fell in the river, huh?

Uh-huh.

Was swept away.

Makes sense.

But I hear tell your mission work is done

in the great state of Arkansas.

Moving on to Texas.

Texas?

That's right.

We've got some blind kids waiting for us

in an orphanage down there.

Yes, that's right.

You'll be missed.

Take care of yourself, Jim.

[door sliding]

[door sliding]

[van engine revving]

[tires screech]

Arkansas has been good to me.

Can't wait to be rid of it.

Next stop Texas.

Texas?

Blind kids in an orphanage?

You really believe that?

You think we could put some money together

and have some kids, huh?

I believe it.

But first we've got to get you outta that dress.

It's my stock and trade.

That brown does nothing for your eyes.

You're looking at me.

I'm looking.

[tire screeching]

[briefcase thuds]

You can see me?

In all your glory.

[Edgar and Eva laughing]

[Edgar and Eva laughing]

You're not blind.

Sure don't look that way.

[Eva and Edgar laughing]

[Edgar and Eva laughing]

But why?

Wasn't nothing much worth seeing till now.

Yeah.

You keep your eyes on the road, honey.

Straight ahead.

Everything we've got is straight ahead.

I believe that. [laughing]

[Brother Edgar] Every time someone sees a strange footprint

in the mud, or loses a catfish off a line,

or just sees a ripple in the water,

they'll say that's the White River Kid.

[upbeat country music]

* Trying hard to solve a crime *

Shall I compare thee to a summer's night.

Thou art more beautiful than, than all the chips in Vegas.

* Sometime at night he disappeared *

Oh, Morales.

You should have been a poet, not a lawyer.

No.

That's maybe a good idea.

Or maybe a movie director or

I would like to have a casino.

* No solution to the case *

I don't know why.

* Then a guy appeared one day *

Here you go.

* Gal's grief was swept away *

* This handyman was fixin' up her fate *

Money plays.

* You can't out run the long arm of the law *

You are my lucky charm tonight.

When you say those things to me, I, I, I get emotional,

you know?

* Of the law *

* It reaches long so *

Yeah, yeah.

* Surely gonna fall *

* 'Cause you can't outrun the long arm of the law *

* I was once a charcoal man *

* He burned wood at the mill he ran *

* When the sheriff started checking out the place *

* And there behind the furnace stack *

* He found her lover's baseball cap *

* And justice came calling that fine day *

* And you can't out run the long arm of the law *

* You can't out run the long arm of the law *

* It reaches long so if you're wrong *

* You're surely gonna fall *

* 'Cause you can't out run the long arm of the law *

* If it's a high stakes ride you're looking for *

* A gravy train door to door *

* You better be prepared to pay the time *

* 'Cause the sheriff's watching out for you *

* And you could end up like those two *

* Put away until the end of time *

* And you can't out run the long arm of the law *

* No, you can't out run the long arm of the law *

* It reaches long so if you're wrong *

* You're surely gonna fall *

* 'Cause you can't out run the long arm of the law *

* It reaches long so if you're wrong *

* You're surely gonna fall *

* 'Cause you can't out run the long arm of the law *