All language subtitles for Ronal Barbaren (2011) Blu-ray.720p.x264-NiP - [eng]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranรฎ)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:17,360 In the beginning there was only darkness. 2 00:00:20,261 --> 00:00:23,501 And in the darkness was born the demon Zaal, - 3 00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:26,006 - Ruler of the Underworld - 4 00:00:26,267 --> 00:00:29,467 - And the oppressor of humans. 5 00:00:33,274 --> 00:00:37,994 But from the shadows came Crane, the warrior of warriors - 6 00:00:38,362 --> 00:00:41,802 - and bearer of the God Sword. 7 00:00:46,412 --> 00:00:48,932 He liberated man - 8 00:00:51,751 --> 00:00:54,351 - and led them to victory. 9 00:01:24,157 --> 00:01:26,437 But the price of victory was high. 10 00:01:26,702 --> 00:01:29,622 For Crane suffered a wound through the heart, - 11 00:01:29,913 --> 00:01:33,753 - which bled for seven days and seven nights. 12 00:01:34,084 --> 00:01:37,644 And a hundred warriors drank his blood. 13 00:01:39,631 --> 00:01:42,551 And were given his strength. 14 00:01:49,933 --> 00:01:53,853 And Crane looked at them and saw that all was good. 15 00:01:54,938 --> 00:01:57,778 And then he died. 16 00:02:00,902 --> 00:02:04,182 Thus, the barbarians were created, - 17 00:02:04,489 --> 00:02:06,889 - Sons of Crane. 18 00:02:39,273 --> 00:02:42,673 Oh, yeah. (roars) 19 00:03:02,963 --> 00:03:04,363 Yes. 20 00:03:04,590 --> 00:03:06,830 (high pitched sounds) (someone clears his throat) 21 00:03:07,092 --> 00:03:12,052 Listen, guys. Strength! Courage! Fearlessness! 22 00:03:12,431 --> 00:03:16,071 That is what Crane gave to our people. 23 00:03:16,393 --> 00:03:19,833 For thousands of generations, generation after generation, - 24 00:03:20,147 --> 00:03:23,347 - his blood has rushed undiluted through our veins. 25 00:03:23,650 --> 00:03:27,970 This is what we celebrate every year, before we go on quests. 26 00:03:28,321 --> 00:03:31,761 But first and foremost is the blood of Crane, that makes us, - 27 00:03:32,075 --> 00:03:36,555 - The barbarians, the greatest warriors throughout Metalonia. 28 00:03:36,913 --> 00:03:39,393 Okay, Ronal, it's your turn. 29 00:03:39,708 --> 00:03:42,388 Ronal is sick ... (changes speaking voice) 30 00:03:42,669 --> 00:03:44,989 Ronal is sick today. 31 00:03:45,255 --> 00:03:47,335 Ronal! 32 00:03:48,174 --> 00:03:51,134 Can't you pass over me? I have a sore elbow. 33 00:03:51,427 --> 00:03:54,587 Maybe I'm getting dry skin ... or ... 34 00:03:54,889 --> 00:03:58,769 - Joint Inflammation. - Dammit, Ronal. 35 00:03:59,811 --> 00:04:02,611 Put all your strength into it. 36 00:04:05,441 --> 00:04:09,081 I'm looking forward to this. 37 00:04:09,946 --> 00:04:11,986 (screams like a girl) 38 00:04:13,616 --> 00:04:15,576 (scream of pain) 39 00:04:17,370 --> 00:04:19,570 (goat screams) 40 00:04:31,175 --> 00:04:34,655 Oh, for God's sake, Ronal, man. 41 00:04:36,013 --> 00:04:37,493 One. 42 00:04:37,723 --> 00:04:39,083 Can't ... 43 00:04:39,308 --> 00:04:41,148 ... do ... 44 00:04:41,393 --> 00:04:43,513 ... more! 45 00:04:43,771 --> 00:04:46,451 You must get in shape before the quest. 46 00:04:46,732 --> 00:04:50,172 A barbarian who can't swing an ax, is ... uh ... 47 00:04:50,485 --> 00:04:52,685 Anyway, not a real barbarian. 48 00:04:52,946 --> 00:04:56,106 What do I need to quest for? I'll just get in the way. 49 00:04:56,408 --> 00:04:59,208 - Can't I hang out here? - You are a Son of Crane. 50 00:04:59,494 --> 00:05:03,694 A Son of Crane goes on quests and kills monsters and returns in glory. 51 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:08,400 - It is the essence of being a barbarian. - Uncle, look at me. 52 00:05:08,753 --> 00:05:14,633 What should I do to monsters? Buckle on a muscle suit and hope they die of laughter? 53 00:05:15,051 --> 00:05:18,291 What then, Ronal? Have you got any better ideas? 54 00:05:19,180 --> 00:05:22,340 Fucking funny. Have you got any brain cells? 55 00:05:22,642 --> 00:05:27,802 What? Where? If there is one on my back, can you press it out? 56 00:05:28,189 --> 00:05:32,349 Listen here, kid. When you go on quests, it is more about big balls - 57 00:05:32,694 --> 00:05:35,254 - not arms. Heroism. 58 00:05:35,530 --> 00:05:40,130 Once you've grasped it, you'll have no problem crushing the enemy. 59 00:05:40,493 --> 00:05:45,053 I just find it hard to overlook, that we can die! 60 00:05:45,415 --> 00:05:47,375 Just shut up and train. 61 00:05:53,381 --> 00:05:55,861 (horses whinny) 62 00:05:56,676 --> 00:05:58,716 What is it? 63 00:06:01,931 --> 00:06:04,611 (deep blast) 64 00:06:09,605 --> 00:06:13,525 The alarm. Everyone to arms! At your posts! Move! 65 00:06:16,445 --> 00:06:19,325 - Get to it! - Yes, yes! 66 00:06:19,615 --> 00:06:21,775 Barricade the gate! 67 00:06:26,663 --> 00:06:28,943 Come on! Pull! 68 00:06:31,752 --> 00:06:35,152 Up on the barricades, stand ready! 69 00:06:43,096 --> 00:06:47,496 Quiet. 70 00:06:51,938 --> 00:06:57,258 Wait. 71 00:06:59,237 --> 00:07:01,557 Quiet! 72 00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:04,490 Who's there? 73 00:07:10,707 --> 00:07:14,267 Hail, noble barbarians. We are Master Florian, - 74 00:07:14,586 --> 00:07:16,826 - a bard and our music. 75 00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:20,408 We simply want, for humble payment, of course, - 76 00:07:20,758 --> 00:07:25,558 - to enrich your banquet and your spectacular muscles - 77 00:07:25,972 --> 00:07:31,252 - with noble sonatas of your past heroes and heroines. 78 00:07:35,731 --> 00:07:38,411 (a flute trill) 79 00:07:42,947 --> 00:07:44,827 (roars) 80 00:07:46,158 --> 00:07:48,598 Attack! 81 00:07:49,954 --> 00:07:53,954 - Songs. They sing songs at feasts. - Feasts? 82 00:07:54,291 --> 00:07:58,611 Check out their incredibly dangerous tuba on the roof. 83 00:07:58,963 --> 00:08:00,523 Let them in. 84 00:08:00,756 --> 00:08:02,476 - No! - Damn. 85 00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:07,356 It's a bloody hundred years ago, since I last split some skulls. 86 00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:10,881 How the hell should I know it was a tuba? 87 00:08:16,855 --> 00:08:19,975 Yo, girls. How about you wash my sick, virile, - 88 00:08:20,275 --> 00:08:22,755 - resilient, filthy - 89 00:08:23,028 --> 00:08:24,908 - awesome lute? 90 00:08:25,155 --> 00:08:29,195 There shall be only practice, nothing frivolous, young Alibert. The art calls. 91 00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:31,096 We have to be ready. 92 00:08:31,328 --> 00:08:35,248 Isn't there just a little bit of time to walk around and look? 93 00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:39,702 A true bard remembers all the songs perfectly. 94 00:08:40,045 --> 00:08:43,685 How perfect does it need to be? Shouldn't we be on quests? 95 00:08:44,007 --> 00:08:47,007 The barbarians are leaving tomorrow. We could go with them. 96 00:08:47,302 --> 00:08:50,622 Go with the flow. I have to meet girls, man. 97 00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:53,850 Maybe, write some heroic poem. 98 00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:57,462 Or something like that, You know, with those verses. 99 00:08:57,770 --> 00:09:01,130 Oh, young Alibert. Only when you learn all the songs, - 100 00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:03,881 - can you make that kind of poem. 101 00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:09,352 - What? That'll take a hundred years. - Nonsense. It won't take that long. 102 00:09:09,741 --> 00:09:13,981 I was only 57 when I finished my apprenticeship. 103 00:09:14,328 --> 00:09:16,488 Ouch! Fucking great. 104 00:09:16,747 --> 00:09:19,947 Can Rikke, can Rikke, can Rikke drink beer? 105 00:09:20,251 --> 00:09:23,691 Can Rikke, can Rikke, can Rikke drink beer? 106 00:09:27,717 --> 00:09:29,717 Oh, it's good, man. 107 00:09:31,429 --> 00:09:35,749 Can any one of you little children guzzle a small pint of beer? 108 00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:38,500 (burps) 109 00:09:40,396 --> 00:09:42,716 Alibert! 110 00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:44,982 So I was on the hunt - 111 00:09:45,234 --> 00:09:49,114 - And then I just run into an ork and killed it. 112 00:09:49,446 --> 00:09:53,126 - Here you go, honey. Wear it. - Oh, how cute. 113 00:09:53,450 --> 00:09:57,090 Yes, it brings out your eyes. You have to see this too. 114 00:09:57,412 --> 00:10:00,612 This is a real invisibility lotion. 115 00:10:00,916 --> 00:10:03,876 I used it, when I snuck into a harem. 116 00:10:04,169 --> 00:10:06,689 Cool, right? Total chick magnet. 117 00:10:06,963 --> 00:10:10,243 So you can't see who is attacking you. 118 00:10:10,550 --> 00:10:13,510 What was that? Hey, there it is again. And now it stopped. 119 00:10:13,845 --> 00:10:17,325 - There it is again. - Ouch, Gorak. Let me be. 120 00:10:17,641 --> 00:10:21,441 - It will not stop. - For God's sake, stop it! 121 00:10:21,770 --> 00:10:24,610 Oh, Ronal, damn man. 122 00:10:35,492 --> 00:10:38,772 (encouragement and whiplash) 123 00:10:39,746 --> 00:10:43,626 (whiplash and groans) 124 00:10:58,431 --> 00:11:01,711 All sons of Crane are here, Prince Volcazar. 125 00:11:02,018 --> 00:11:04,258 Then it's time. 126 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:07,400 (evil laughter) 127 00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:20,042 (a fart) 128 00:11:25,416 --> 00:11:29,496 - Can I take the watch for a bit? - What about the feast? 129 00:11:29,837 --> 00:11:33,077 I'm just kind of ... a little tired. 130 00:11:33,382 --> 00:11:37,502 Okay, then. Remember to blow the horn, if you see something suspicious. 131 00:11:37,845 --> 00:11:41,765 - Do you think you can handle that? - I'm not an idiot. 132 00:11:42,099 --> 00:11:44,899 - I want to be alone. - It's a large horn. 133 00:11:45,185 --> 00:11:49,545 Remember, breathe in. Deep down in the stomach. And ... 134 00:11:49,898 --> 00:11:53,538 Damn, Uncle. Who would attack us? 135 00:11:53,860 --> 00:11:57,420 We're fucking barbarians. We smash everything. 136 00:11:57,739 --> 00:12:01,259 - We've never been attacked. - That may well be. 137 00:12:01,576 --> 00:12:04,816 But it's the principle, which is important. 138 00:12:05,956 --> 00:12:08,836 That boy will be the end of me one day. 139 00:12:11,836 --> 00:12:14,276 QUEST-MAGAZINE 140 00:12:14,547 --> 00:12:17,587 Fucking barbarians, man. 141 00:12:32,315 --> 00:12:34,635 What the hell is this? 142 00:12:52,168 --> 00:13:06,848 (insane laughter) 143 00:13:08,892 --> 00:13:11,852 We're being attacked? We're being attacked! 144 00:13:15,733 --> 00:13:18,053 Get your weapons! 145 00:13:18,318 --> 00:13:20,318 (breathing in) 146 00:13:20,571 --> 00:13:23,171 (a weak blast) 147 00:13:23,448 --> 00:13:25,448 (buzzing) 148 00:13:27,286 --> 00:13:28,766 No, no! 149 00:13:29,580 --> 00:13:33,380 - We're ready to attack! - Let hell rain down. 150 00:13:38,547 --> 00:13:40,107 Fuck! Fuck! 151 00:13:40,340 --> 00:13:42,260 (breathing sounds) 152 00:13:42,509 --> 00:13:44,909 Fire! 153 00:13:48,098 --> 00:13:51,418 Attack! Show no mercy! 154 00:13:55,855 --> 00:13:59,575 - Look! Fireworks! - Did we order that? 155 00:14:01,319 --> 00:14:04,719 (insane laughter) 156 00:14:11,287 --> 00:14:14,607 We're being attacked! Barbarians, defend yourselves! 157 00:14:14,916 --> 00:14:16,836 Hup, hup, hup! 158 00:14:24,175 --> 00:14:27,375 Oh, thank heavens. They're saved. 159 00:14:27,678 --> 00:14:30,918 This is a mad, fucking sick party, man. 160 00:14:33,351 --> 00:14:35,751 - Bummer! - No! 161 00:14:38,773 --> 00:14:41,213 Help! Help! 162 00:14:58,042 --> 00:15:00,322 Punch! Smack! 163 00:15:01,211 --> 00:15:03,531 Bash! Muscles! 164 00:15:10,804 --> 00:15:13,444 (evil laughter) 165 00:15:13,724 --> 00:15:16,964 (roar of pain) 166 00:15:19,229 --> 00:15:22,269 I don't think there are any more. 167 00:15:22,566 --> 00:15:24,966 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 168 00:15:26,987 --> 00:15:29,107 He's mine. 169 00:15:29,364 --> 00:15:31,284 (roar) 170 00:15:32,951 --> 00:15:36,111 We're done for. Why didn't you blow the horn? 171 00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:38,733 - I tried! - You tried? 172 00:15:38,998 --> 00:15:42,038 "Trying" isn't good enough, Ronal. 173 00:15:42,335 --> 00:15:44,615 Get up. We must rescue the others. 174 00:15:53,179 --> 00:15:56,219 (evil laughter) 175 00:16:01,854 --> 00:16:05,094 The famous sons of Crane. 176 00:16:06,067 --> 00:16:08,987 How pathetic. 177 00:16:10,446 --> 00:16:14,126 Put them in chains. Leave no one behind. 178 00:16:19,121 --> 00:16:21,801 We Barbarians shall never surrender! 179 00:16:38,182 --> 00:16:40,302 (evil laughter) 180 00:16:48,609 --> 00:16:51,329 Everyone must bow to me ... 181 00:16:54,823 --> 00:16:56,303 No! 182 00:16:56,533 --> 00:16:58,373 ... or die! 183 00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:00,818 No! 184 00:17:01,079 --> 00:17:05,119 - Take them away. - You heard Prince Volcazar! 185 00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:08,979 Get the last barbarians in the cart. Come on! 186 00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:11,896 Put him in! Move! 187 00:17:12,173 --> 00:17:14,733 - Come here! - No, I won't ... 188 00:17:15,010 --> 00:17:17,730 - In with them! - What the hell? 189 00:17:18,013 --> 00:17:20,333 Remember your shoes and bags ... axes! 190 00:17:20,598 --> 00:17:23,038 We will not come back and get them! 191 00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:26,509 General? This prisoner doesn't fit in the shackles. 192 00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:30,573 - Should I just throw him away? - That's not a barbarian. 193 00:17:30,900 --> 00:17:34,700 - Drag him over there and kill him. - Oh, thank you. 194 00:17:35,029 --> 00:17:37,989 - Lucky son of a bitch. - He's always the one who get to do it. 195 00:17:38,283 --> 00:17:42,763 - Kicking ass feels good - Kicking ass feels good 196 00:17:43,121 --> 00:17:48,201 - as a bonus, it is really nice - as a bonus, it is really nice 197 00:17:48,584 --> 00:17:51,624 sits well feels good 198 00:17:54,257 --> 00:17:58,417 No, I can't die. Help! Help! 199 00:18:06,394 --> 00:18:09,394 Shut up, this is really exciting. 200 00:18:13,275 --> 00:18:16,875 Oh, man. Shit, it's night, man. 201 00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:20,636 My head, man. The town is torn up, what happened? 202 00:18:20,949 --> 00:18:24,109 Where did everyone go? 203 00:18:24,411 --> 00:18:27,971 Did they go to the afterparty? Hey, you, wait! 204 00:18:44,222 --> 00:18:46,382 Ro ... Ronal. 205 00:18:47,601 --> 00:18:50,441 Uncle. You're alive. 206 00:18:50,729 --> 00:18:52,769 Not for long. 207 00:18:53,023 --> 00:18:56,143 Crane ... calls to me. 208 00:18:56,443 --> 00:19:00,843 No, uncle, it's probably just a ... flesh wound. 209 00:19:01,197 --> 00:19:05,357 Ronal when your parents died, I swore to take care of you. 210 00:19:05,702 --> 00:19:10,862 And I've kept that promise. But now it's your turn to promise something. 211 00:19:11,249 --> 00:19:15,729 Promise me that you will save the others. You owe it to them. 212 00:19:16,087 --> 00:19:19,927 - What? I can't save them. - Promise me! 213 00:19:20,258 --> 00:19:24,378 - But ... - Travel north to the oracle. 214 00:19:24,721 --> 00:19:29,481 - He will help you. - Oracle? How? 215 00:19:29,851 --> 00:19:32,451 (coughs) 216 00:19:33,604 --> 00:19:36,644 You are our only hope, Ronal. 217 00:19:36,941 --> 00:19:39,901 The last of the barbarians. 218 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,480 (dying breath) 219 00:19:43,739 --> 00:19:47,179 Uncle? Uncle? 220 00:19:49,036 --> 00:19:51,476 Uncle? 221 00:20:12,601 --> 00:20:15,641 Gorak's invisibility lotion. 222 00:20:17,898 --> 00:20:19,978 Yo. 223 00:20:20,234 --> 00:20:24,914 - What happened? Going on a quest? - Uh, no. I must find the others. 224 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:27,160 Well, okay. 225 00:20:27,407 --> 00:20:31,887 - It's a quest. You are going on a quest! - No. I have to find my people. 226 00:20:32,245 --> 00:20:35,085 Awesome, this is a quest. Wait a minute. 227 00:20:35,373 --> 00:20:38,573 - Who are you? - Hey. Alibert, the bard. 228 00:20:38,877 --> 00:20:41,317 Damn nice to be joining you. 229 00:20:41,588 --> 00:20:45,508 You can't say no; I'll just follow you anyway. 230 00:20:45,842 --> 00:20:49,802 Now we are on our way, shall we go through the Amazon land? 231 00:20:50,138 --> 00:20:53,778 - No. - The girls down there would be lovely. 232 00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:57,020 - We should investigate. - Listen to me. 233 00:20:57,312 --> 00:21:01,272 - Don't follow me. - Those girls are super horny. 234 00:21:01,608 --> 00:21:04,808 - No! - Fuck, you're boring, man. 235 00:21:06,404 --> 00:21:10,844 Now I know where we're going. We're headed to Berylia. They have ladies with tails. 236 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:14,080 And four breasts! This could be awesome, man! 237 00:21:14,370 --> 00:21:17,930 - No, it's not. - Come on. Why are we here? 238 00:21:19,083 --> 00:21:23,283 - I need to talk to an oracle. - Is that a kind of travel agent? 239 00:21:23,629 --> 00:21:26,029 (surprised outburst) 240 00:21:28,467 --> 00:21:30,947 Sick crib. 241 00:21:38,227 --> 00:21:40,307 Hello? 242 00:21:43,607 --> 00:21:46,607 - Hello? - It's about time. 243 00:21:46,902 --> 00:21:50,142 I've been sitting here since last Wednesday. Are you coming or what? 244 00:21:50,447 --> 00:21:55,087 - Sorry, what? - Heck, I need to be wiped. 245 00:21:55,452 --> 00:21:57,652 You aren't the home care? 246 00:21:57,913 --> 00:21:59,673 - No, we ... - Wait! 247 00:21:59,915 --> 00:22:02,155 (fart and shit sounds) 248 00:22:02,417 --> 00:22:06,057 Gundar has sent me ... 249 00:22:06,380 --> 00:22:10,860 That's it. You came just in time. And be careful with my hemorrhoids. 250 00:22:13,845 --> 00:22:16,285 (sniffs and gasps) 251 00:22:16,556 --> 00:22:18,956 (coughs phlegm) 252 00:22:19,226 --> 00:22:23,786 He is a mighty warlord, this Prince Volcazar, that you're talking about. 253 00:22:24,147 --> 00:22:27,747 dark forces from the underworld protect him. 254 00:22:29,778 --> 00:22:34,298 I'm not really interested in fighting with him. 255 00:22:34,657 --> 00:22:38,297 Volcazar is looking for power throughout Metalonia. 256 00:22:38,620 --> 00:22:42,140 So far, no one has been able to stop him. 257 00:22:44,334 --> 00:22:46,414 Wow. 258 00:22:46,669 --> 00:22:50,109 (chanting) 259 00:23:03,102 --> 00:23:05,422 (laughs) 260 00:23:05,688 --> 00:23:08,728 (coughs and spits) 261 00:23:09,734 --> 00:23:15,854 He wears an impenetrable armor over his body. No weapon can harm him. 262 00:23:17,032 --> 00:23:20,792 Only one sword has the strength to crush him. 263 00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:23,080 Watch. 264 00:23:31,922 --> 00:23:35,722 - Oh, sick. - What's so special about it? 265 00:23:36,051 --> 00:23:41,171 It should especially be known to you, barbarian. This is the sword of Crane. 266 00:23:47,145 --> 00:23:49,345 That's a joke, right? 267 00:23:51,650 --> 00:23:55,770 Honestly, it doesn't exist. Everybody has been looking for the damn sword - 268 00:23:56,113 --> 00:23:59,273 - for thousands of years, and no one has found it. 269 00:23:59,574 --> 00:24:01,974 It's just a silly story. 270 00:24:02,244 --> 00:24:07,004 Crane's sword is not a myth. Only it can damage Prince Volcazar. 271 00:24:07,374 --> 00:24:11,454 You can never save your people without killing him first. 272 00:24:11,795 --> 00:24:13,235 But I can't. 273 00:24:13,463 --> 00:24:18,023 Only a great warrior without fear in his heart will be able to use it. 274 00:24:18,426 --> 00:24:21,586 Without a great warrior you will not defeat Volcazar. 275 00:24:21,888 --> 00:24:25,928 And without a great warrior your people are damned! 276 00:24:30,521 --> 00:24:34,361 But I could be wrong. I'm just an oracle. 277 00:24:34,692 --> 00:24:39,692 It's not your fault the barbarians were captured, is it? 278 00:25:26,326 --> 00:25:29,046 Gu'ra zul! 279 00:25:29,329 --> 00:25:31,609 Wizard! 280 00:25:31,873 --> 00:25:36,153 Lord, time is fast approaching. The resurrection at the underworld temple must begin soon. 281 00:25:36,503 --> 00:25:40,663 Otherwise it will be impossible to carry out the ritual. Have we caught the sons of Crane? 282 00:25:41,007 --> 00:25:46,087 - The mission is complete. - Fantastic. Now nothing can stop us. 283 00:25:46,471 --> 00:25:50,991 Mighty Zaal. The sons of Crane are assembled. 284 00:25:51,351 --> 00:25:53,551 Awake from your slumber! 285 00:25:53,812 --> 00:25:55,492 (chanting) 286 00:25:55,730 --> 00:25:58,330 What is happening? 287 00:25:58,608 --> 00:26:00,928 Finally. 288 00:26:11,663 --> 00:26:13,623 - What? - What now? 289 00:26:13,873 --> 00:26:18,033 The mighty Zaal is not satisfied. We're missing a Son of Crane. 290 00:26:18,378 --> 00:26:22,378 - Impossible. Unless ... - I don't understand ... 291 00:26:22,715 --> 00:26:25,475 - We left none alive. - Fool! 292 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:30,840 I need the blood of all living barbarians, and you let one escape. 293 00:26:31,224 --> 00:26:36,224 - I don't understand. - Find him for me. Now! 294 00:26:37,813 --> 00:26:41,573 for they are on a quest, Alibert and Ronal 295 00:26:41,901 --> 00:26:46,341 the greatest heroes in Metalonia 296 00:26:46,697 --> 00:26:50,097 ooh-ooh it's going so well 297 00:26:52,578 --> 00:26:54,898 and the girls they say 298 00:26:55,164 --> 00:26:57,764 Alibert you're so sexy 299 00:26:58,042 --> 00:27:03,402 My village has been burned, and I must find the sword of Crane. 300 00:27:03,797 --> 00:27:07,997 Can't you be quiet, for God's sake, just five minutes, so I can think? 301 00:27:09,845 --> 00:27:14,085 - I'll sing a barbarian song instead. - For God's sake, no. 302 00:27:14,433 --> 00:27:18,713 and Crane drew his proud sword and drove with all his force 303 00:27:19,062 --> 00:27:22,262 the blade deep in Zaal and Zaal's skull burst 304 00:27:22,566 --> 00:27:25,646 Wait a minute. The song. What was it? 305 00:27:25,944 --> 00:27:27,904 "The Epic of Crane". 306 00:27:28,196 --> 00:27:31,676 There are 2073 verses, and I know them all by heart. 307 00:27:31,992 --> 00:27:34,592 Crane gets tons of pussy. 308 00:27:34,869 --> 00:27:38,229 - Why didn't you say this before? - That he gets pussy? 309 00:27:38,540 --> 00:27:41,500 No, about the song. It's about Crane. 310 00:27:41,793 --> 00:27:47,113 You just sang a verse about his sword. Is there one that says where it is? 311 00:27:47,507 --> 00:27:51,707 from the chest of Crane the blood flowed it bled day and night 312 00:27:52,053 --> 00:27:54,453 No no. After he dies. Come on. Sing. 313 00:27:54,722 --> 00:27:58,202 in his tomb was placed the sword the place is now forgotten 314 00:27:58,518 --> 00:28:02,798 only the Book of Wisdom in Elfland knows where it is stored 315 00:28:03,147 --> 00:28:06,387 The Book of Wisdom in Elfland. That's it. 316 00:28:06,692 --> 00:28:09,132 - We need to go to Elfland. - What do you think? 317 00:28:09,403 --> 00:28:13,363 - This is how we find the sword! - Elf girls are crazy sexy. 318 00:28:13,699 --> 00:28:16,779 This will be a great quest. 319 00:28:17,078 --> 00:28:21,718 Okay, I have two rules for the quest. One: This is not a quest. 320 00:28:22,083 --> 00:28:27,963 And two: we see something that is even the least bit unsafe, we go around. 321 00:28:28,380 --> 00:28:30,820 - Is that a deal? - Got it. 322 00:28:39,141 --> 00:28:43,141 Is it rule number one or two, that we just violated? 323 00:28:44,396 --> 00:28:46,636 Run for your life. 324 00:28:47,649 --> 00:28:50,809 Shit! What the hell happened? 325 00:28:58,785 --> 00:29:00,705 What the hell did this? 326 00:29:06,084 --> 00:29:08,204 (scream) 327 00:29:15,051 --> 00:29:16,771 No! No! 328 00:29:19,764 --> 00:29:21,644 Ouch! 329 00:29:21,891 --> 00:29:24,371 (choking sounds) 330 00:29:26,730 --> 00:29:30,410 - Who are you? Are you one of them? - My ... my neck. 331 00:29:30,733 --> 00:29:32,893 Answer me! 332 00:29:33,153 --> 00:29:36,713 I'm just a random passer-by. I swear. 333 00:29:37,031 --> 00:29:40,351 It was not my intention to disturb you in the middle of your ... 334 00:29:40,660 --> 00:29:45,260 - Slaughter of random men. - They challenged me to a duel. 335 00:29:45,623 --> 00:29:48,023 Oh no, not again. 336 00:29:48,292 --> 00:29:51,332 (whining and crying) 337 00:29:55,007 --> 00:29:58,207 Get out of here. I'll let you live. 338 00:30:01,597 --> 00:30:05,157 She is like, the warrior, we need for the sword of Crane. 339 00:30:05,476 --> 00:30:09,116 What? Are you insane? She is a fucking violent psychopath. 340 00:30:09,438 --> 00:30:12,358 - Yes, exactly. Ask her. - No. 341 00:30:12,650 --> 00:30:17,290 Wanker. Yo, beautiful. My friend Ronal would like to ask you something. 342 00:30:17,655 --> 00:30:20,375 We could use a killer like you - 343 00:30:20,658 --> 00:30:24,618 - on our quest, you know. In order to save his people. 344 00:30:24,953 --> 00:30:31,353 And as a little bonus, I would let you play on my lute. 345 00:30:31,794 --> 00:30:34,634 I don't know what he's talking about. 346 00:30:34,922 --> 00:30:39,442 put your hand on my lute and let me teach you to suck 347 00:30:39,801 --> 00:30:42,921 I don't want to learn to play your instrument. 348 00:30:43,221 --> 00:30:47,141 - You are extremely uptight. - I said it wasn't a good idea. 349 00:30:47,476 --> 00:30:49,876 Another must rescue the barbarians. 350 00:30:50,145 --> 00:30:53,745 - Did you say barbarians? - Um, yes. 351 00:30:54,065 --> 00:30:57,225 - The barbarians, those are your people? - Uh, of course. 352 00:30:57,527 --> 00:31:01,447 Those, that they say, are the greatest warriors in Metalonia? 353 00:31:01,781 --> 00:31:03,821 Yes. 354 00:31:04,784 --> 00:31:08,104 That's a worthy cause. I'll go with you. 355 00:31:08,413 --> 00:31:09,933 What? 356 00:31:10,165 --> 00:31:13,125 I'm Zandra from the shield maiden clan. 357 00:31:13,418 --> 00:31:15,898 - Where are you headed? - Elfland. 358 00:31:16,171 --> 00:31:19,171 - We need to find out where it is. - We will need a guide. 359 00:31:19,465 --> 00:31:23,465 - There is a town nearby. Come. - No, wait. You can't just ... 360 00:31:23,845 --> 00:31:27,205 - Do you have a problem with that? - Now ... uh, no. 361 00:31:28,558 --> 00:31:32,598 - Super. Come. - I swear, you scored her, man. 362 00:31:42,822 --> 00:31:44,342 (sniffing) 363 00:31:44,573 --> 00:31:47,613 Son of Crane! Son of Crane! 364 00:31:50,037 --> 00:31:52,597 Come on! Faster! 365 00:32:10,599 --> 00:32:12,799 Oh, cool. 366 00:32:18,106 --> 00:32:23,066 Shave my legs and call me Susan, if this is not the coolest place. 367 00:32:25,948 --> 00:32:28,868 - Okay, we're here. - Uh, okay. 368 00:32:29,159 --> 00:32:31,399 What's up, assholes? 369 00:32:31,661 --> 00:32:35,381 Can I trouble one of you to call me a taxi? 370 00:32:35,707 --> 00:32:38,467 - Fuck. - Sweet. It's happy hour. 371 00:32:38,752 --> 00:32:42,032 There are a lot in there today. Stay behind me. 372 00:32:42,339 --> 00:32:45,779 We'll enter quietly, find a guide - 373 00:32:46,092 --> 00:32:49,052 - and then leave before anyone notices us. 374 00:32:49,346 --> 00:32:52,346 And without a fight, okay? 375 00:32:54,684 --> 00:32:56,764 Please? 376 00:32:57,020 --> 00:33:00,260 - As you wish. - Thank you. 377 00:33:03,776 --> 00:33:07,456 Bing, bing-li-bing-bing. In your ass. 378 00:33:14,370 --> 00:33:16,210 (squawk) 379 00:33:16,456 --> 00:33:19,656 Son of Crane! Son of Crane! 380 00:33:19,959 --> 00:33:24,519 So I said to her: "Your breasts look tired. Should I hold them?" 381 00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:28,240 Your mother has always had the largest tits. 382 00:33:29,677 --> 00:33:33,037 Hey! Hey! Stop that, buddy. 383 00:33:33,764 --> 00:33:36,644 I'll tell you. She was angry, man. 384 00:33:36,934 --> 00:33:41,334 You can't win them all. But you can try. 385 00:33:45,985 --> 00:33:48,105 (smoker's cough) 386 00:33:48,362 --> 00:33:52,122 - What do you want? - We're looking for a guide. 387 00:33:54,076 --> 00:33:58,636 There is only one left. Down by the bathroom. Ask for Elric. 388 00:33:58,997 --> 00:34:02,677 Hey, who ordered a pint and a double Manhattan? 389 00:34:03,001 --> 00:34:04,561 Okay. Thanks. 390 00:34:12,302 --> 00:34:15,182 Uh, hey. Uh, are you Elric? 391 00:34:15,472 --> 00:34:19,312 The voice of the wind lights the evening sun's embrace. 392 00:34:19,643 --> 00:34:24,043 Stellar Children, great Mother Sun now rests. 393 00:34:24,397 --> 00:34:28,317 The darkness comes as a pensive sigh. 394 00:34:29,944 --> 00:34:33,704 I sensed you would come. We elves are connected with all living things. 395 00:34:34,032 --> 00:34:37,112 Let our souls meet. 396 00:34:38,745 --> 00:34:42,265 You bear the dreams of an eagle and the will of a mouse. 397 00:34:42,582 --> 00:34:47,342 Mighty blood dwells in your heart. Kormamin lindua ka'elja. 398 00:34:47,712 --> 00:34:52,192 Yes, that sounds exciting. My name is Ronal, and I have some place ... 399 00:34:52,550 --> 00:34:54,310 (shushing) 400 00:34:57,847 --> 00:35:00,727 Names have no meaning. 401 00:35:01,017 --> 00:35:05,817 - I need ... - Spiritual or physical guidance? 402 00:35:06,188 --> 00:35:08,388 We need to find Elfland. 403 00:35:08,649 --> 00:35:12,849 The wind's voice shall tell me, whether I should help you. Stand still! 404 00:35:13,237 --> 00:35:19,037 Let me penetrate your aura. Kormamin lindua ka'elja. 405 00:35:19,493 --> 00:35:22,053 Kormamin lindua ... 406 00:35:22,329 --> 00:35:27,529 The wind says, I shall follow you. My bow will sing with your sword. 407 00:35:27,918 --> 00:35:29,798 (kissing sounds) 408 00:35:30,045 --> 00:35:31,845 Okay ... 409 00:35:35,050 --> 00:35:37,370 (astonished pain) Damn. 410 00:35:37,636 --> 00:35:41,276 - Hey, I found him. - My bow will sing with your sword. 411 00:35:41,598 --> 00:35:44,438 Yes. Come, let's get out of here. 412 00:35:46,853 --> 00:35:50,133 Hey, shield maiden, you're leaving already? 413 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:53,600 What do you say to a little dance? 414 00:35:59,950 --> 00:36:03,510 Hey, guys, sorry, we were just leaving. 415 00:36:04,996 --> 00:36:07,756 - I accept your challenge. - What? 416 00:36:08,041 --> 00:36:10,321 He must defeat me or die. 417 00:36:10,585 --> 00:36:14,105 - We shouldn't create any problems. - He challenged me. 418 00:36:14,422 --> 00:36:17,902 You promised. In and out, without fighting. 419 00:36:19,260 --> 00:36:22,220 Okay. So, you take care of it yourself. 420 00:36:22,514 --> 00:36:25,634 Hey, shield maiden, what's it gonna be? 421 00:36:25,934 --> 00:36:27,894 Listen ... 422 00:36:28,144 --> 00:36:32,304 Friend, I know, it's super cool to fight, - 423 00:36:32,649 --> 00:36:38,889 - but we're in a bit of a hurry, and there are probably plenty of others here who would fight, - 424 00:36:39,322 --> 00:36:43,442 - so if it's okay with you, I think we'll just leave. 425 00:36:43,785 --> 00:36:46,305 (laughter and heckling) 426 00:36:49,665 --> 00:36:52,745 - Zandra! - Not supposed to fight. 427 00:36:56,672 --> 00:36:59,472 That'll make a nice soup base. 428 00:37:01,385 --> 00:37:03,705 Learn to ride! 429 00:37:08,517 --> 00:37:11,597 Have you seen this before? I can teach you to play it. 430 00:37:11,895 --> 00:37:14,615 Does it make you horny? 431 00:37:17,651 --> 00:37:20,771 I sense much aggression in the room. 432 00:37:24,324 --> 00:37:27,324 Any last words, chump? 433 00:37:27,744 --> 00:37:30,624 - He's dead. - What the hell? 434 00:37:30,914 --> 00:37:33,594 I'm gonna make you pay for throwing up on me. 435 00:37:33,875 --> 00:37:38,155 - Now you're gonna get a new asshole. - That's enough. Let him be. 436 00:37:45,595 --> 00:37:47,795 Black Riders. 437 00:37:56,982 --> 00:37:59,302 (sniffing) 438 00:37:59,567 --> 00:38:01,967 Son of Crane! Son of Crane! 439 00:38:02,237 --> 00:38:05,197 - Take him! - No! Help! 440 00:38:05,490 --> 00:38:07,610 (battle cries) 441 00:38:10,828 --> 00:38:12,628 Zandra! 442 00:38:13,957 --> 00:38:18,037 Nobody stands up to Prince Volcazar's riders and lives! 443 00:38:20,296 --> 00:38:22,616 It's gonna explode! 444 00:38:22,882 --> 00:38:24,602 Move! 445 00:38:30,139 --> 00:38:34,499 Hey! Who is it that ordered the double Manhattan? 446 00:38:34,852 --> 00:38:37,212 Ouch, my ass! 447 00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:38,520 110% ALCOHOL 448 00:38:38,731 --> 00:38:39,931 Goddamn! 449 00:38:50,159 --> 00:38:53,519 (stifled sounds) (evil laughter) 450 00:38:53,829 --> 00:38:58,469 Fabulous, my lord. One more shot, and then you've beaten the record. 451 00:38:58,834 --> 00:39:03,234 But we have to find the last Son of Crane before the next full moon. 452 00:39:03,589 --> 00:39:07,389 - You're ruining my concentration. - I'm sorry. 453 00:39:07,718 --> 00:39:09,878 (mobile phone ringtone) 454 00:39:11,388 --> 00:39:14,308 - Hello? - He escaped, sir. 455 00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:18,960 The task is more difficult than we thought. He has the help of a strong warrior. 456 00:39:19,313 --> 00:39:21,873 We'll need reinforcements. 457 00:39:22,149 --> 00:39:24,669 I will not tolerate any more failures! 458 00:39:24,943 --> 00:39:28,543 Bring them to me. Both of them. 459 00:39:41,918 --> 00:39:45,278 Do you know where we are? It seems like we're going in circles. 460 00:39:45,588 --> 00:39:49,828 The wind speaks to my soul. We will soon be in the elvish realm. 461 00:39:50,176 --> 00:39:53,976 You said that two days ago. We're lost, damn it. 462 00:39:54,305 --> 00:39:56,305 We're gonna die of thirst. 463 00:39:56,557 --> 00:39:59,397 - Ha. - What's so funny? 464 00:39:59,686 --> 00:40:03,766 I have heard that barbarians are strong and quick to fight, but you're neither. 465 00:40:04,148 --> 00:40:06,748 You just bitch and whine. 466 00:40:07,026 --> 00:40:10,466 It's really funny when you consider the heritage you come from. 467 00:40:10,780 --> 00:40:14,260 Why are you with us if you think all I do is whine? 468 00:40:14,575 --> 00:40:17,535 - What's your deal with the barbarians? - None of your business. 469 00:40:17,828 --> 00:40:20,468 Stop! See. 470 00:40:24,877 --> 00:40:28,637 - And that means ...? - We elves can communicate with everything. 471 00:40:28,964 --> 00:40:33,484 I will unite myself with its soul and get it to show us the way. 472 00:40:33,844 --> 00:40:41,244 Kormamin lindua ka'elja. 473 00:40:41,727 --> 00:40:44,207 Kormamin lindua ... 474 00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:48,160 Ouch! My beautiful elf lip! 475 00:41:01,204 --> 00:41:05,164 There. On the other side. There is no labyrinth on the other side. 476 00:41:08,837 --> 00:41:11,917 The entrance to Elfland. 477 00:41:12,215 --> 00:41:14,775 I did it. 478 00:41:23,935 --> 00:41:26,975 Elf gate, I greet you. 479 00:41:29,441 --> 00:41:32,441 You didn't know it was here? 480 00:41:32,777 --> 00:41:35,457 (grinding) 481 00:41:53,756 --> 00:41:56,596 - Oh! Wild! - Come on. 482 00:41:56,884 --> 00:42:01,084 Stop! First, our souls are weighed by the Gate Keepers. 483 00:42:04,141 --> 00:42:08,181 Only those with the right character may be allowed to go through. 484 00:42:08,521 --> 00:42:11,561 What about those who do not have the right character? 485 00:42:11,857 --> 00:42:15,057 Who? Well. They are crushed by the rock wall. 486 00:42:15,361 --> 00:42:18,641 - Well, shall we go? - I can't. 487 00:42:18,948 --> 00:42:22,428 - What? - I'm a miserable barbarian. 488 00:42:22,743 --> 00:42:25,343 I don't have the right character. 489 00:42:25,621 --> 00:42:30,301 - You've misunderstood the meaning. - Forget it. We'll go around. 490 00:42:30,667 --> 00:42:33,667 When you're on a quest, follow the guide. 491 00:42:33,962 --> 00:42:37,522 The only thing we get out of that, is being killed. 492 00:42:37,841 --> 00:42:41,881 But now you call it a quest, so, remember that it is my quest. 493 00:42:42,220 --> 00:42:46,380 And I've decided that we go around this ridiculous gate. Come on! 494 00:42:55,484 --> 00:42:59,244 See. No booby traps, no gates, nothing. 495 00:42:59,571 --> 00:43:04,251 This quest-nonsense is so predictable. If you just think a bit outside ... 496 00:43:05,201 --> 00:43:06,881 (scream) 497 00:43:11,499 --> 00:43:14,859 - Ouch, my tailbone, man. - What the hell was that? 498 00:43:15,170 --> 00:43:18,810 We have offended the Gate Keepers. I sense ... 499 00:43:19,132 --> 00:43:21,332 ... great danger! 500 00:43:21,593 --> 00:43:23,673 Run! 501 00:43:29,434 --> 00:43:31,314 Faster! 502 00:43:34,689 --> 00:43:36,649 Ronal! 503 00:43:41,195 --> 00:43:42,755 Come! 504 00:43:50,871 --> 00:43:52,591 Ouch, man. 505 00:43:52,832 --> 00:43:56,432 Fool! Your stupid idea almost got us all killed. 506 00:43:56,752 --> 00:44:00,952 I just tried to steer us away from trouble. 507 00:44:01,298 --> 00:44:05,298 You tried? Well, "trying" isn't good enough, Ronal. 508 00:44:05,636 --> 00:44:08,876 On any quest there's bound to be problems. 509 00:44:09,181 --> 00:44:12,341 Solve them instead of going around. 510 00:44:23,278 --> 00:44:25,918 There's the Temple of the Elves. 511 00:44:26,198 --> 00:44:29,878 The focal point of all wisdom in the world. 512 00:44:33,038 --> 00:44:36,758 The Book of Wisdom lies in the tower's upper chamber - 513 00:44:38,126 --> 00:44:41,766 - so the moon can read on his voyage across the night sky. 514 00:44:42,088 --> 00:44:44,968 It is the holiest of holy books. 515 00:44:45,258 --> 00:44:48,578 - Fair enough. So we'll just go on up and grab it. - Quiet! 516 00:44:48,887 --> 00:44:50,527 Look. 517 00:44:52,140 --> 00:44:57,220 No one from the outside is allowed in. The King's archers have eyes like hawks. 518 00:44:57,604 --> 00:44:59,444 (squeaking) 519 00:45:08,990 --> 00:45:11,950 - Shit. - They kill everything they see. 520 00:45:23,629 --> 00:45:27,629 So we'll have to do it the hard way. I'll take these two. 521 00:45:27,967 --> 00:45:30,487 No. 522 00:45:30,761 --> 00:45:32,921 - I'll do it. - What? 523 00:45:33,180 --> 00:45:35,220 Alone. 524 00:45:35,474 --> 00:45:38,594 Think about it. They'll kill you, as soon as they see you. 525 00:45:38,894 --> 00:45:40,854 I know, - 526 00:45:41,105 --> 00:45:44,225 - they're not going to see me. 527 00:45:44,525 --> 00:45:48,765 There isn't much left and I'm the smallest. Wait here. 528 00:45:49,113 --> 00:45:53,033 I could have used that in high school. 529 00:45:53,367 --> 00:45:56,447 How do I look? Invisible, right? 530 00:45:59,414 --> 00:46:02,134 - What? - You missed a spot. 531 00:46:04,753 --> 00:46:07,793 Fuck! It's empty. Fuck, so typical. 532 00:46:08,090 --> 00:46:12,410 Relax, Ronal. They're small dumplings, nobody will notice. 533 00:46:12,761 --> 00:46:16,481 - Wait here. - Good luck, Ronal. Don't get killed. 534 00:46:20,769 --> 00:46:22,849 Ouch! 535 00:46:23,104 --> 00:46:30,064 "I have a headache," "I'm tired" "The kids will wake up!", and blah, blah, blah. 536 00:46:30,528 --> 00:46:33,088 Having such a wife is a bummer, man. 537 00:46:33,365 --> 00:46:34,685 Bitch! 538 00:46:34,908 --> 00:46:36,228 Ouch! 539 00:46:36,451 --> 00:46:38,491 Who's there? 540 00:46:42,874 --> 00:46:45,674 Hmm, nothing there. 541 00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:50,240 - Where were we? Are you ready for this Saturday? - Are you crazy? I was born ready! 542 00:46:50,590 --> 00:46:54,150 - Hell yeah! - I must be a crazy psycho! 543 00:46:54,469 --> 00:46:57,749 (footsteps, breathing and groaning) 544 00:47:05,771 --> 00:47:07,851 That's open. 545 00:47:13,195 --> 00:47:15,195 Ouch! 546 00:47:29,253 --> 00:47:32,053 Fuck, I'm in bad shape. 547 00:47:52,109 --> 00:47:54,429 Oh! 548 00:47:56,780 --> 00:47:58,780 (groans) 549 00:48:00,409 --> 00:48:02,529 Ah! 550 00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:08,400 (gasps) 551 00:48:08,625 --> 00:48:11,345 Cursed rats! 552 00:48:21,763 --> 00:48:23,323 Oh! 553 00:48:32,231 --> 00:48:34,631 Wow. There it is. 554 00:48:42,533 --> 00:48:45,493 So where is it? Sword of Crane, - 555 00:48:45,787 --> 00:48:49,867 - Sword of Crane, how the hell do I find the Sword of Crane? 556 00:48:51,584 --> 00:48:53,144 There it is. 557 00:48:53,377 --> 00:48:57,177 The Sword of Crane. Well, that was easy enough. 558 00:48:58,883 --> 00:49:01,603 It's like no one can see me. 559 00:49:01,886 --> 00:49:03,966 (cries) 560 00:49:04,263 --> 00:49:06,423 (shout of pain) 561 00:49:06,682 --> 00:49:09,882 - A killer rat! - Kill the rat! 562 00:49:11,270 --> 00:49:13,750 Use the poisoned arrows. 563 00:49:15,608 --> 00:49:16,848 After it! 564 00:49:18,652 --> 00:49:21,332 Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! 565 00:49:23,532 --> 00:49:25,812 Faster! Shoot it down! 566 00:49:27,619 --> 00:49:30,739 - Ow, damn it! - Yes! The pig is down! 567 00:49:31,039 --> 00:49:34,439 (cries) 568 00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:45,120 Well, how much are you gonna drink? 569 00:49:45,429 --> 00:49:49,429 - Nothing. I'll smoke instead. - Did you get Elrond's mother's weed? 570 00:50:14,666 --> 00:50:16,386 Ouch. 571 00:50:20,046 --> 00:50:25,686 The page says that Crane was buried in the Eternal Mountain. 572 00:50:26,094 --> 00:50:29,414 My elfin soul feels, that it is far, far away ... 573 00:50:29,764 --> 00:50:31,844 Isn't that it right there? 574 00:50:32,099 --> 00:50:35,939 ... that it is nearby. Destiny is on our side. 575 00:50:36,270 --> 00:50:38,350 Ouch. 576 00:50:38,606 --> 00:50:40,006 No more. 577 00:50:40,232 --> 00:50:41,992 (clears her throat) 578 00:50:43,027 --> 00:50:45,387 - I was wrong about you. - What? 579 00:50:45,654 --> 00:50:48,414 There in the temple. You did it. 580 00:50:48,699 --> 00:50:52,379 Yes, more or less in any case. You make the barbarians proud. 581 00:50:53,621 --> 00:50:55,741 Uh. Thanks. 582 00:50:57,583 --> 00:51:01,143 Well, um ... I have to polish my axe. 583 00:51:01,462 --> 00:51:03,742 I was thinking ... 584 00:51:04,006 --> 00:51:07,446 I've never really said ... 585 00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:11,240 ... thank you for coming with me. 586 00:51:11,555 --> 00:51:15,555 Actually, I don't know how I would have made it this far without you. 587 00:51:15,893 --> 00:51:18,373 Uh ... okay. 588 00:51:19,980 --> 00:51:25,340 Well, we'd better get some sleep. Maybe we'll find the Sword of Crane tomorrow. 589 00:51:25,736 --> 00:51:30,216 I'll keep watch. We elves need no sleep. You can sleep safely. 590 00:51:31,366 --> 00:51:36,246 - Can I ask you something, Ronal? - Uh, yes, of course. 591 00:51:36,621 --> 00:51:39,341 What are the barbarians like? 592 00:51:39,624 --> 00:51:43,264 - They're not very clever. - I thought more ... 593 00:51:43,586 --> 00:51:46,426 What are they like in here? 594 00:51:47,841 --> 00:51:50,281 Well. 595 00:51:50,552 --> 00:51:52,232 Uh. 596 00:51:52,470 --> 00:51:57,190 A barbarian is always ready to help those that need it. 597 00:51:57,559 --> 00:52:01,919 Regardless of how dangerous or difficult it is. And they go on quests all the time. 598 00:52:02,271 --> 00:52:07,151 They're not afraid of anything. Hard to believe I'm one of them, right? 599 00:52:07,527 --> 00:52:12,407 - And they're great warriors? - Yep. The best in the world. 600 00:52:12,782 --> 00:52:16,222 It's just so difficult to find a proper warrior. 601 00:52:16,536 --> 00:52:18,776 Yeah. Uh, what? 602 00:52:19,038 --> 00:52:22,718 I come from an ancient clan of shield maidens. 603 00:52:23,042 --> 00:52:25,602 Far, far away from here. 604 00:52:27,254 --> 00:52:31,774 Our religion requires that I only marry the warrior that can defeat me. 605 00:52:36,639 --> 00:52:39,479 Many have tried to defeat me - 606 00:52:39,767 --> 00:52:41,847 - but I'm too strong. 607 00:52:42,102 --> 00:52:46,342 And for every duel I won, I just got stronger. 608 00:52:46,690 --> 00:52:50,610 Meanwhile, I could only watch as the others found themselves a mate. 609 00:52:50,944 --> 00:52:55,064 One by one. Eventually I was the only one left. 610 00:52:55,407 --> 00:52:59,807 It took longer and longer for anyone to challenge me. 611 00:53:00,162 --> 00:53:03,962 Then the suitors just stopped coming. 612 00:53:04,291 --> 00:53:07,411 The head of the clan became impatient. 613 00:53:07,711 --> 00:53:12,751 They told me to go forth, into the world, to find a worthy husband. 614 00:53:13,133 --> 00:53:16,773 A warrior with the strength to defeat me. 615 00:53:18,930 --> 00:53:22,850 If I am defeated, I must obey his slightest command. 616 00:53:23,184 --> 00:53:26,024 There have been none, who are strong enough. 617 00:53:26,312 --> 00:53:31,152 But everywhere I've been, it is said, barbarians are the strongest warriors, - 618 00:53:31,526 --> 00:53:34,846 - so maybe a barbarian from your village can defeat me. 619 00:53:35,155 --> 00:53:38,715 - That's why I went with you. - Uh ... Okay. 620 00:53:39,033 --> 00:53:41,273 - Okay, what? - Well, that's ... 621 00:53:41,536 --> 00:53:45,376 What you just said, what does it have to do with love? 622 00:53:45,707 --> 00:53:50,467 It will be love that defeats me. I've waited so long. 623 00:53:52,046 --> 00:53:54,926 Wow. 624 00:53:55,216 --> 00:53:59,816 I've never told this to anyone before. 625 00:54:00,179 --> 00:54:05,219 It feels so ... nice. 626 00:54:11,107 --> 00:54:15,907 You know what, Ronal? It's actually nice talking to you. 627 00:54:17,822 --> 00:54:19,782 You're so lovely. 628 00:54:20,032 --> 00:54:23,232 - Uh, to talk with, I mean. - Well. 629 00:54:23,535 --> 00:54:28,575 And if I had meant it the other way, we'd have to fight. 630 00:54:28,957 --> 00:54:34,157 - No, I wouldn't be so fortunate. - Yeah, that would be a little strange. 631 00:54:36,048 --> 00:54:38,248 (animal roar) 632 00:54:38,509 --> 00:54:40,909 - What was that? - I don't know. 633 00:54:41,178 --> 00:54:44,418 Hey, Elric. (snoring) 634 00:54:46,725 --> 00:54:49,285 Elves do not sleep. 635 00:54:49,561 --> 00:54:55,121 - What is it, what's making that sound? - I sense a terrible voice. 636 00:54:57,027 --> 00:55:00,187 (cries) 637 00:55:00,488 --> 00:55:04,328 No one escapes Prince Volcazar's anger! 638 00:55:04,659 --> 00:55:06,539 Ronal, watch out! 639 00:55:08,872 --> 00:55:10,432 Zandra! 640 00:55:16,379 --> 00:55:19,619 - Curses! - Ronal, wait for me! 641 00:55:30,560 --> 00:55:33,160 Ronal! 642 00:55:33,438 --> 00:55:35,358 Oh, fuck! 643 00:55:42,780 --> 00:55:45,060 (evil laughter) 644 00:55:52,748 --> 00:55:54,388 Shit! 645 00:55:58,796 --> 00:56:00,556 They're gone. 646 00:56:00,798 --> 00:56:03,558 Damn! Let's move! 647 00:56:05,427 --> 00:56:07,427 Zandra! 648 00:56:09,890 --> 00:56:12,650 - No, no, no. - We'll find her. 649 00:56:12,935 --> 00:56:16,375 If we go now, we can find them. Come. 650 00:56:19,691 --> 00:56:22,851 - What did you do? - It wasn't me. 651 00:56:28,033 --> 00:56:29,873 The Amazons. 652 00:56:41,630 --> 00:56:45,070 (giggles, laughter and chitchat) 653 00:56:49,387 --> 00:56:52,627 - It stuck. - Congratulations, honey. 654 00:56:52,932 --> 00:56:57,212 ... can't get too much sun. 655 00:56:57,562 --> 00:57:00,842 See my new shoes. Aren't they fantastic? 656 00:57:01,149 --> 00:57:04,509 - It's only women. - I've died and gone to heaven. 657 00:57:06,696 --> 00:57:10,776 - Hey, girls. What's going on? - What's that? 658 00:57:11,117 --> 00:57:15,637 - Oh, totally botched stomach pouch. - Hello. Good to see you. 659 00:57:25,339 --> 00:57:28,739 High Queen, we've captured these women in the jungle. 660 00:57:29,051 --> 00:57:33,251 We have brought them to you, so you can decide their fate. 661 00:57:33,597 --> 00:57:36,357 Stand them up. Let me see. 662 00:57:50,155 --> 00:57:54,435 What remarkable women. I've never seen anything like it. 663 00:57:54,785 --> 00:57:57,425 - What's this? - Ow! 664 00:57:57,704 --> 00:58:01,584 - One even has hair on his chin. - How clumsy! 665 00:58:01,917 --> 00:58:05,557 - High Queen. - Quiet, ugly girl. 666 00:58:05,879 --> 00:58:09,799 - Who asked you to speak? - We're not women. 667 00:58:10,133 --> 00:58:14,693 - Well, we're men, you know? - Men? 668 00:58:15,055 --> 00:58:18,455 - Or nearly so. - Men? 669 00:58:21,812 --> 00:58:28,252 Heaven be praised. The gods have heard our prayers and sent us two men. 670 00:58:30,987 --> 00:58:35,027 Finally, the time has come, when we can grow our tribe. 671 00:58:35,367 --> 00:58:38,647 Take them to the sacred mating cabins. 672 00:58:39,829 --> 00:58:42,029 - What? - What! 673 00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:47,000 (cry of joy) 674 00:58:49,464 --> 00:58:53,544 We'll take the thin one first. And save him for tomorrow. 675 00:58:53,885 --> 00:58:56,565 No, help. No, I won't! 676 00:58:58,598 --> 00:59:02,878 Honestly, man. Why can't it be me. I'd be more than willing to do it. 677 00:59:03,227 --> 00:59:06,147 That's so fucking typical. 678 00:59:07,690 --> 00:59:09,810 No! 679 00:59:17,700 --> 00:59:20,580 - Lord. - You have them? 680 00:59:20,870 --> 00:59:25,150 We have caught the warrior who helped the barbarian escape. 681 00:59:39,263 --> 00:59:41,303 Let me see. 682 00:59:43,559 --> 00:59:45,719 A shield maiden. 683 00:59:46,603 --> 00:59:51,883 - And a very sexy one. - Give me a weapon and let me fight. 684 00:59:52,276 --> 00:59:54,916 In time. 685 00:59:55,195 --> 00:59:57,075 (sniff) 686 00:59:57,322 --> 01:00:00,282 No one lays a hand on me without suffering. 687 01:00:00,575 --> 01:00:03,135 So die then! 688 01:00:20,720 --> 01:00:22,520 (battle cry) 689 01:00:46,662 --> 01:00:51,502 Impressive. You are my type of woman. 690 01:00:51,876 --> 01:00:55,596 Too bad I have to to kill you! 691 01:01:14,481 --> 01:01:16,241 What? 692 01:01:22,740 --> 01:01:25,540 Foolish woman. 693 01:01:43,635 --> 01:01:49,435 I know your rules, shield maiden. You must obey me now. 694 01:01:51,393 --> 01:01:53,993 It is your destiny. 695 01:01:54,271 --> 01:01:56,871 You have defeated me. 696 01:01:57,148 --> 01:01:59,748 (evil laughter) 697 01:02:01,778 --> 01:02:04,978 Single piercing is not cool. 698 01:02:05,281 --> 01:02:07,401 Double piercing is the shit. 699 01:02:12,747 --> 01:02:14,347 (door opens) 700 01:02:14,624 --> 01:02:17,024 (whining) 701 01:02:18,294 --> 01:02:21,134 Yes! It's about time. Is it my turn? 702 01:02:21,422 --> 01:02:24,382 The ceremony is over. We will use you tomorrow. 703 01:02:24,675 --> 01:02:27,715 - What? Tomorrow? - It's the Queen's order. 704 01:02:28,012 --> 01:02:32,052 Come back! I want to be abused! 705 01:02:33,809 --> 01:02:36,529 - Did you remember to lock the door? - Of course. 706 01:02:36,812 --> 01:02:39,212 (winces) 707 01:02:39,482 --> 01:02:41,722 Hey, what are you doing? 708 01:02:43,819 --> 01:02:47,339 - We have to leave. - What about all the Amazons? 709 01:02:47,656 --> 01:02:51,176 Zandra is in danger. We must find the Sword of Crane and help her. 710 01:02:51,494 --> 01:02:54,894 - That can wait a week. - We can't leave her behind. 711 01:02:55,206 --> 01:02:58,766 - We can find another warrior? - I want Zandra! 712 01:02:59,084 --> 01:03:03,244 Hey, you didn't want her help to start with. 713 01:03:03,630 --> 01:03:08,150 Fuck you! I'll be right here making sweet love with hot babes. 714 01:03:08,510 --> 01:03:11,830 That's the only reason I came on this quest. 715 01:03:12,139 --> 01:03:17,099 Oh, I forgot. You're not on a quest. You're just fucking boring. 716 01:03:18,228 --> 01:03:20,828 Fine. Stay here. 717 01:03:22,566 --> 01:03:25,846 You're not any damn help anyway. 718 01:03:29,114 --> 01:03:32,234 (hums conga rhythm) 719 01:03:36,746 --> 01:03:39,746 Oh, I just love that song. 720 01:03:41,167 --> 01:03:44,407 (tuning) (string pops) 721 01:03:44,713 --> 01:03:48,233 Damn! Fucking shit! 722 01:04:00,895 --> 01:04:04,455 Oh, what the fuck am I doing, man? Ronal, I'm coming. 723 01:04:04,774 --> 01:04:06,934 (stomach growls) 724 01:04:14,408 --> 01:04:19,048 - Madam Queen? - I just had to see you. 725 01:04:19,997 --> 01:04:24,877 Ever since I saw you the first time, my body trembles with longing. 726 01:04:25,252 --> 01:04:29,332 I know it's against the rules, but I must have you. 727 01:04:29,673 --> 01:04:34,233 - If I may ... - I cannot control myself. Take me! 728 01:04:34,595 --> 01:04:37,075 Take me! Oh! Yes! 729 01:04:43,520 --> 01:04:46,040 Take me! 730 01:04:46,315 --> 01:04:48,555 Stop! 731 01:04:48,817 --> 01:04:52,737 Unfortunately I can't, Madam Queen. My friend needs me. 732 01:04:53,113 --> 01:04:54,153 What? 733 01:04:54,364 --> 01:04:57,644 Perhaps I can be taken prisoner again on the way back. 734 01:04:57,951 --> 01:05:00,471 Alarm! 735 01:05:04,958 --> 01:05:09,958 - Pigs! Men are pigs! - Insane bitches, man! 736 01:05:13,049 --> 01:05:17,169 - He was your responsibility! - And I locked the door! 737 01:05:17,512 --> 01:05:20,712 Hang him from his balls! 738 01:05:35,947 --> 01:05:37,467 Elric? 739 01:06:39,259 --> 01:06:42,819 It's the first barbarians. 740 01:06:51,104 --> 01:06:52,984 Wow. 741 01:06:58,361 --> 01:07:00,601 Hello. 742 01:07:00,864 --> 01:07:05,704 I need your sword. I'll take good care of it. 743 01:07:12,417 --> 01:07:14,817 That was easy. Wow. 744 01:07:21,176 --> 01:07:23,496 (exhale) 745 01:07:23,761 --> 01:07:26,361 Yeah. I apologize. 746 01:07:34,105 --> 01:07:36,345 Zandra. 747 01:07:36,607 --> 01:07:38,327 I'm sorry. 748 01:07:38,568 --> 01:07:43,008 Time after time you escaped my best riders, barbarian. 749 01:07:43,364 --> 01:07:48,404 And then we find you up here, just as my shield maiden said we would. 750 01:07:52,498 --> 01:07:55,938 The Sword of Crane. The only weapon in the world that can harm you. 751 01:07:56,252 --> 01:07:57,692 Zandra? 752 01:07:57,920 --> 01:08:02,600 Excellent. You've served me well. 753 01:08:04,510 --> 01:08:08,630 - As you have commanded me, lord. - What the hell is going on? 754 01:08:08,973 --> 01:08:11,133 (evil laughter) 755 01:08:11,392 --> 01:08:17,432 Lets move! We have to get this barbarian to my wizard. 756 01:08:34,998 --> 01:08:38,318 I sense, that Ronal is in great danger. 757 01:08:44,716 --> 01:08:49,196 - Do what you must, wizard. - With pleasure, Lord. 758 01:08:49,554 --> 01:08:52,394 - Ronal? - Gorak? 759 01:08:59,314 --> 01:09:01,954 (evil laughter) 760 01:09:03,943 --> 01:09:06,543 - Here he is. - No, no, no! 761 01:09:12,827 --> 01:09:17,907 Finally! Mighty Zaal, listen to your humble servant! 762 01:09:18,291 --> 01:09:22,011 The blood has been collected from the Sons of Crane. 763 01:09:22,336 --> 01:09:25,976 Grant us access to your temple! 764 01:09:26,299 --> 01:09:29,899 (evil laughter) (chanting) 765 01:09:34,640 --> 01:09:37,000 What are you doing? 766 01:09:37,268 --> 01:09:42,668 Only once every ten thousand years, is it possible for Zaal, ruler of the underworld, - 767 01:09:43,065 --> 01:09:49,905 - to come to our world. I offer the ultimate sacrifice. 768 01:09:50,364 --> 01:09:55,444 The sons of the warrior, who sent him from this world. 769 01:09:55,828 --> 01:10:01,428 And as a reward he will bestow upon me his divine power. 770 01:10:01,834 --> 01:10:05,594 All will bow to me - 771 01:10:05,921 --> 01:10:08,281 - or die! 772 01:10:19,518 --> 01:10:23,918 Shit. We can't go any further without being noticed. 773 01:11:04,228 --> 01:11:05,948 Ronal! 774 01:11:06,189 --> 01:11:10,469 What the hell's the matter with you? Come on! Lift your feet! 775 01:11:10,818 --> 01:11:13,378 Come on! Get up the stairs! 776 01:11:14,447 --> 01:11:16,407 Wait here. 777 01:11:20,745 --> 01:11:22,985 - Ronal. - Alibert! 778 01:11:23,247 --> 01:11:26,207 - What? - Take it easy. 779 01:11:26,500 --> 01:11:28,820 Keep moving, you wretch. 780 01:11:30,588 --> 01:11:33,388 Ronal, where's the Sword of Crane? 781 01:11:33,674 --> 01:11:38,714 There's nothing you can do. It's on the altar below. Get away from here. 782 01:11:56,571 --> 01:12:00,611 I will not be satisfied, until they scream like the pigs they are! 783 01:12:05,747 --> 01:12:10,067 Mighty Zaal we give to you the blood from the Sons of Crane. 784 01:12:10,418 --> 01:12:13,498 Let your darkness bless us. 785 01:12:16,258 --> 01:12:19,058 Soon I will be mightier than a god - 786 01:12:19,386 --> 01:12:23,266 - and you shall be my queen in the after life. 787 01:12:36,319 --> 01:12:38,679 Hey! What are you doing here? 788 01:12:39,614 --> 01:12:42,454 - Uh ... - Kill him. 789 01:12:42,742 --> 01:12:46,382 No, wait. I am master Alibert. 790 01:12:46,704 --> 01:12:48,984 The bard! 791 01:12:49,248 --> 01:12:54,008 I'm here to play at the feast ... the occult ritual. 792 01:12:54,378 --> 01:12:56,818 Here's a song you might know. 793 01:12:57,965 --> 01:13:01,125 your muscles they make me crazy 794 01:13:01,427 --> 01:13:04,667 on the dance floor you can see it 795 01:13:04,972 --> 01:13:07,852 your skull charm it makes me hot 796 01:13:08,142 --> 01:13:12,262 little cuddles sweet treasure 797 01:13:14,190 --> 01:13:17,230 - Shut up, that's crap. - Oh! 798 01:13:17,526 --> 01:13:20,686 - Later. - Come back, you little shit! 799 01:13:24,533 --> 01:13:28,133 Let the Chosen One step forward! 800 01:13:40,882 --> 01:13:43,442 - Hey, Ronal. - The Sword of Crane. 801 01:13:43,719 --> 01:13:46,439 - I'll get you free. - We must liberate the others. 802 01:13:46,722 --> 01:13:50,242 - I'm hurrying as fast as I can. - What the hell? 803 01:13:57,691 --> 01:14:01,171 Drop it, pip-squeak. You don't have a chance. 804 01:14:01,486 --> 01:14:04,406 Come on. Give me your best shot. 805 01:14:11,746 --> 01:14:14,266 Very nice. It was really ... 806 01:14:20,630 --> 01:14:23,710 - What the hell? - Sorry. 807 01:14:24,008 --> 01:14:33,088 What? 808 01:14:41,067 --> 01:14:43,947 I've totally been looking forward to this! 809 01:14:51,911 --> 01:14:53,911 Oh yeah! 810 01:15:01,420 --> 01:15:03,620 - Kill them. - But ... 811 01:15:03,881 --> 01:15:06,121 - That's an order! - Zandra! 812 01:15:06,383 --> 01:15:11,103 You belong to me, shield maiden! Don't forget. 813 01:15:11,472 --> 01:15:13,752 Yes, my Lord. 814 01:15:22,316 --> 01:15:25,196 - Ronal. - You don't have to do this. 815 01:15:25,485 --> 01:15:29,605 Volcazar has defeated me in a duel. It is my destiny. 816 01:15:41,376 --> 01:15:44,016 Zandra, it's me. 817 01:15:44,296 --> 01:15:48,216 This is completely ridiculous. Is this really your destiny - 818 01:15:48,550 --> 01:15:51,430 - to kill the only one, who loves you, to death, - 819 01:15:51,719 --> 01:15:55,919 - just because some maniac has beaten you in a fight? 820 01:16:01,187 --> 01:16:03,147 Watch out! 821 01:16:03,940 --> 01:16:05,940 Ronal! 822 01:16:08,069 --> 01:16:09,509 Zandra. 823 01:16:09,737 --> 01:16:11,377 (roaring) 824 01:16:18,621 --> 01:16:20,701 Let me go! 825 01:16:27,838 --> 01:16:31,558 Lord, drink it up, before it's too late. 826 01:16:34,386 --> 01:16:37,546 Clever Lord. Drink it all up. 827 01:16:42,311 --> 01:16:44,591 Oh, shit. 828 01:16:48,734 --> 01:16:51,494 Die! 829 01:16:54,573 --> 01:16:56,173 No! 830 01:16:56,408 --> 01:16:58,408 (evil laughter) 831 01:17:21,308 --> 01:17:24,788 The darkness must be awakened in Metalonia. 832 01:17:25,103 --> 01:17:29,903 The sound of screams must rise to the sky. 833 01:17:30,275 --> 01:17:34,075 All must bow to me - 834 01:17:34,404 --> 01:17:37,004 - or die! 835 01:17:37,907 --> 01:17:39,947 (screams) 836 01:17:54,674 --> 01:17:56,794 Fuck! 837 01:18:01,180 --> 01:18:05,100 The Epic of Crane! "Crane drew his proud sword and drove with all his force - 838 01:18:05,434 --> 01:18:09,274 - the blade deep in Zaal and Zaal's skull burst." 839 01:18:09,605 --> 01:18:13,925 You have to strike him in the forehead. It is his weak point, man! 840 01:18:17,113 --> 01:18:19,353 That's impossible! 841 01:18:25,412 --> 01:18:29,172 There's nothing you can do here. Save yourself! 842 01:18:29,541 --> 01:18:32,661 - What? - This is no place for you. 843 01:18:32,961 --> 01:18:34,561 Run! 844 01:18:34,797 --> 01:18:38,757 No. I'm done running away. 845 01:18:43,263 --> 01:18:46,103 Now you better behave yourself. 846 01:18:50,020 --> 01:18:52,940 Yes, do it! Stab him in the forehead! 847 01:18:56,109 --> 01:18:58,629 - In the forehead. - What do you think I'm trying to do? 848 01:18:58,904 --> 01:19:02,624 I'll crush you like a bug! 849 01:19:11,041 --> 01:19:13,241 He's fucking dead. 850 01:19:13,501 --> 01:19:15,341 Oh, damn! 851 01:19:19,674 --> 01:19:23,754 May my aim be sharp as a hawk's and as perfect as the great breast. 852 01:19:33,521 --> 01:19:36,001 Stand still! 853 01:19:45,575 --> 01:19:47,375 No! 854 01:19:49,078 --> 01:19:51,038 Now I have you! 855 01:19:53,499 --> 01:19:55,259 Eat lute, you bitch! 856 01:20:19,149 --> 01:20:21,509 No, no. No! 857 01:20:30,202 --> 01:20:36,482 - Zandra! - My queen! Kill these fleas. 858 01:20:45,383 --> 01:20:51,023 What are you doing? Your honor commands you to serve me! 859 01:20:51,431 --> 01:20:53,871 No! No more! 860 01:20:55,310 --> 01:20:58,190 Then die! 861 01:21:07,447 --> 01:21:09,007 Zandra! 862 01:21:09,240 --> 01:21:13,960 Okay, guys, let's show them how barbarians really fight! 863 01:21:20,752 --> 01:21:22,432 Gorak! 864 01:21:27,633 --> 01:21:30,033 - Come on, guys! - Muscles! 865 01:21:35,266 --> 01:21:39,226 I am invincible! 866 01:21:52,032 --> 01:21:55,192 - What? - This one's for Uncle Gundar! 867 01:21:55,494 --> 01:21:58,334 (cry of pain) 868 01:21:59,748 --> 01:22:01,428 Uh? 869 01:22:04,044 --> 01:22:06,044 (evil laughter) 870 01:22:24,147 --> 01:22:28,027 Holy shit. My g-string is so high up my ass. 871 01:22:29,361 --> 01:22:31,241 Ronal? 872 01:22:36,868 --> 01:22:38,348 Ronal! 873 01:22:43,124 --> 01:22:44,924 Oh no. 874 01:22:59,349 --> 01:23:03,589 Here lies Ronal. The greatest barbarian of us all. 875 01:23:20,328 --> 01:23:23,088 (gasps and coughs) 876 01:23:27,626 --> 01:23:31,586 - What happened? - Damn, he lives, man! 877 01:23:35,050 --> 01:23:38,130 I sense great love. 878 01:23:39,096 --> 01:23:40,936 It's so beautiful. 879 01:23:44,977 --> 01:23:48,257 I haven't challenged you to a duel, right? 880 01:23:48,605 --> 01:23:50,045 You ... 881 01:23:50,274 --> 01:23:54,154 You have already conquered my heart, Ronal. 882 01:23:57,197 --> 01:23:59,157 Now it becomes cheesy. 883 01:23:59,408 --> 01:24:03,248 It's time for ale and lager, ale and lager. 884 01:24:03,578 --> 01:24:06,538 Ale and lager, ale and lager. 885 01:24:10,836 --> 01:24:12,756 (vomiting sounds) 886 01:24:13,630 --> 01:24:15,670 You wanna see something sick? 887 01:24:15,924 --> 01:24:17,724 Wow! 888 01:24:19,886 --> 01:24:21,566 Cool. 889 01:24:21,805 --> 01:24:26,205 - Oh, that's good. - I sense much tension in your muscles. 890 01:24:26,559 --> 01:24:29,759 I've been tied up on a cross all week. 891 01:24:30,063 --> 01:24:33,983 Just shut up, man. I want to say something important. 892 01:24:35,818 --> 01:24:39,378 To Ronal, the thirstiest barbarian in the world. 893 01:24:40,990 --> 01:24:42,910 Cheers! 894 01:24:43,159 --> 01:24:47,839 - Why the hell aren't you drinking? - Fucking barbarians, man. 895 01:25:00,500 --> 01:25:12,053 Ronal the Barbarian 896 01:25:12,220 --> 01:25:18,226 oh, he was a weak boy lacked a pair of balls 897 01:25:18,393 --> 01:25:24,316 he wasn't pierced at all 898 01:25:24,483 --> 01:25:30,530 oh, he was a geek boy with a chest so small 899 01:25:45,879 --> 01:25:48,840 big balls hairy balls 900 01:25:49,007 --> 01:25:51,885 hard balls hot babes 901 01:25:52,052 --> 01:25:55,013 hairy babes yummy babes 902 01:25:55,180 --> 01:25:59,059 yummy balls and oily muscles too 903 01:26:04,439 --> 01:26:20,831 Ronal the Barbarian he rules 904 01:26:27,879 --> 01:26:30,632 big balls hairy balls 905 01:26:30,799 --> 01:26:33,593 hard balls hot babes 906 01:26:33,760 --> 01:26:36,471 hairy babes yummy babes 907 01:26:36,638 --> 01:26:41,268 yummy balls and oily muscles too 908 01:27:01,079 --> 01:27:07,461 we'll keep on fighting muscles are shining 909 01:27:07,627 --> 01:27:12,757 we are the champions 910 01:27:14,176 --> 01:27:20,724 thunder and lightning excess of lightning 911 01:27:20,891 --> 01:27:26,813 fighting with balls in thongs 912 01:27:27,606 --> 01:27:33,945 we are together all dressed in leather 913 01:27:34,112 --> 01:27:40,577 all bits are wet and we're perfectly tan 914 01:27:40,744 --> 01:27:44,456 we have pierced our nipples 915 01:28:41,263 --> 01:28:58,447 Ronal the Barbarian he rules 68341

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.