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1
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:17,360
In the beginning there was only darkness.
2
00:00:20,261 --> 00:00:23,501
And in the darkness was born the demon Zaal, -
3
00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:26,006
- Ruler of the Underworld -
4
00:00:26,267 --> 00:00:29,467
- And the oppressor of humans.
5
00:00:33,274 --> 00:00:37,994
But from the shadows came Crane,
the warrior of warriors -
6
00:00:38,362 --> 00:00:41,802
- and bearer of the God Sword.
7
00:00:46,412 --> 00:00:48,932
He liberated man -
8
00:00:51,751 --> 00:00:54,351
- and led them to victory.
9
00:01:24,157 --> 00:01:26,437
But the price of victory was high.
10
00:01:26,702 --> 00:01:29,622
For Crane suffered a wound
through the heart, -
11
00:01:29,913 --> 00:01:33,753
- which bled for seven days
and seven nights.
12
00:01:34,084 --> 00:01:37,644
And a hundred warriors
drank his blood.
13
00:01:39,631 --> 00:01:42,551
And were given his strength.
14
00:01:49,933 --> 00:01:53,853
And Crane looked at them
and saw that all was good.
15
00:01:54,938 --> 00:01:57,778
And then he died.
16
00:02:00,902 --> 00:02:04,182
Thus, the barbarians were created, -
17
00:02:04,489 --> 00:02:06,889
- Sons of Crane.
18
00:02:39,273 --> 00:02:42,673
Oh, yeah.
(roars)
19
00:03:02,963 --> 00:03:04,363
Yes.
20
00:03:04,590 --> 00:03:06,830
(high pitched sounds)
(someone clears his throat)
21
00:03:07,092 --> 00:03:12,052
Listen, guys.
Strength! Courage! Fearlessness!
22
00:03:12,431 --> 00:03:16,071
That is what
Crane gave to our people.
23
00:03:16,393 --> 00:03:19,833
For thousands of generations,
generation after generation, -
24
00:03:20,147 --> 00:03:23,347
- his blood has rushed
undiluted through our veins.
25
00:03:23,650 --> 00:03:27,970
This is what we celebrate every year,
before we go on quests.
26
00:03:28,321 --> 00:03:31,761
But first and foremost
is the blood of Crane, that makes us, -
27
00:03:32,075 --> 00:03:36,555
- The barbarians,
the greatest warriors throughout Metalonia.
28
00:03:36,913 --> 00:03:39,393
Okay, Ronal, it's your turn.
29
00:03:39,708 --> 00:03:42,388
Ronal is sick ...
(changes speaking voice)
30
00:03:42,669 --> 00:03:44,989
Ronal is sick today.
31
00:03:45,255 --> 00:03:47,335
Ronal!
32
00:03:48,174 --> 00:03:51,134
Can't you pass over me?
I have a sore elbow.
33
00:03:51,427 --> 00:03:54,587
Maybe I'm getting
dry skin ... or ...
34
00:03:54,889 --> 00:03:58,769
- Joint Inflammation.
- Dammit, Ronal.
35
00:03:59,811 --> 00:04:02,611
Put all your strength into it.
36
00:04:05,441 --> 00:04:09,081
I'm looking
forward to this.
37
00:04:09,946 --> 00:04:11,986
(screams like a girl)
38
00:04:13,616 --> 00:04:15,576
(scream of pain)
39
00:04:17,370 --> 00:04:19,570
(goat screams)
40
00:04:31,175 --> 00:04:34,655
Oh, for God's sake, Ronal, man.
41
00:04:36,013 --> 00:04:37,493
One.
42
00:04:37,723 --> 00:04:39,083
Can't ...
43
00:04:39,308 --> 00:04:41,148
... do ...
44
00:04:41,393 --> 00:04:43,513
... more!
45
00:04:43,771 --> 00:04:46,451
You must get
in shape before the quest.
46
00:04:46,732 --> 00:04:50,172
A barbarian who can't
swing an ax, is ... uh ...
47
00:04:50,485 --> 00:04:52,685
Anyway, not a real barbarian.
48
00:04:52,946 --> 00:04:56,106
What do I need to quest for?
I'll just get in the way.
49
00:04:56,408 --> 00:04:59,208
- Can't I hang out here?
- You are a Son of Crane.
50
00:04:59,494 --> 00:05:03,694
A Son of Crane goes on quests and
kills monsters and returns in glory.
51
00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:08,400
- It is the essence of being a barbarian.
- Uncle, look at me.
52
00:05:08,753 --> 00:05:14,633
What should I do to monsters? Buckle on a
muscle suit and hope they die of laughter?
53
00:05:15,051 --> 00:05:18,291
What then, Ronal?
Have you got any better ideas?
54
00:05:19,180 --> 00:05:22,340
Fucking funny. Have you got
any brain cells?
55
00:05:22,642 --> 00:05:27,802
What? Where? If there is one on my back,
can you press it out?
56
00:05:28,189 --> 00:05:32,349
Listen here, kid. When you go on quests,
it is more about big balls -
57
00:05:32,694 --> 00:05:35,254
- not arms. Heroism.
58
00:05:35,530 --> 00:05:40,130
Once you've grasped it, you'll have
no problem crushing the enemy.
59
00:05:40,493 --> 00:05:45,053
I just find it hard to overlook,
that we can die!
60
00:05:45,415 --> 00:05:47,375
Just shut up and train.
61
00:05:53,381 --> 00:05:55,861
(horses whinny)
62
00:05:56,676 --> 00:05:58,716
What is it?
63
00:06:01,931 --> 00:06:04,611
(deep blast)
64
00:06:09,605 --> 00:06:13,525
The alarm. Everyone to arms!
At your posts! Move!
65
00:06:16,445 --> 00:06:19,325
- Get to it!
- Yes, yes!
66
00:06:19,615 --> 00:06:21,775
Barricade the gate!
67
00:06:26,663 --> 00:06:28,943
Come on! Pull!
68
00:06:31,752 --> 00:06:35,152
Up on the barricades, stand ready!
69
00:06:43,096 --> 00:06:47,496
Quiet.
70
00:06:51,938 --> 00:06:57,258
Wait.
71
00:06:59,237 --> 00:07:01,557
Quiet!
72
00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:04,490
Who's there?
73
00:07:10,707 --> 00:07:14,267
Hail, noble barbarians.
We are Master Florian, -
74
00:07:14,586 --> 00:07:16,826
- a bard and our music.
75
00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:20,408
We simply want,
for humble payment, of course, -
76
00:07:20,758 --> 00:07:25,558
- to enrich your banquet
and your spectacular muscles -
77
00:07:25,972 --> 00:07:31,252
- with noble sonatas of your past
heroes and heroines.
78
00:07:35,731 --> 00:07:38,411
(a flute trill)
79
00:07:42,947 --> 00:07:44,827
(roars)
80
00:07:46,158 --> 00:07:48,598
Attack!
81
00:07:49,954 --> 00:07:53,954
- Songs. They sing songs at feasts.
- Feasts?
82
00:07:54,291 --> 00:07:58,611
Check out their incredibly
dangerous tuba on the roof.
83
00:07:58,963 --> 00:08:00,523
Let them in.
84
00:08:00,756 --> 00:08:02,476
- No!
- Damn.
85
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:07,356
It's a bloody hundred years ago,
since I last split some skulls.
86
00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:10,881
How the hell should I know
it was a tuba?
87
00:08:16,855 --> 00:08:19,975
Yo, girls. How about
you wash my sick, virile, -
88
00:08:20,275 --> 00:08:22,755
- resilient, filthy -
89
00:08:23,028 --> 00:08:24,908
- awesome lute?
90
00:08:25,155 --> 00:08:29,195
There shall be only practice, nothing frivolous,
young Alibert. The art calls.
91
00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:31,096
We have to be ready.
92
00:08:31,328 --> 00:08:35,248
Isn't there just a little bit of time
to walk around and look?
93
00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:39,702
A true bard
remembers all the songs perfectly.
94
00:08:40,045 --> 00:08:43,685
How perfect does it need to be?
Shouldn't we be on quests?
95
00:08:44,007 --> 00:08:47,007
The barbarians are leaving tomorrow.
We could go with them.
96
00:08:47,302 --> 00:08:50,622
Go with the flow.
I have to meet girls, man.
97
00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:53,850
Maybe,
write some heroic poem.
98
00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:57,462
Or something like that,
You know, with those verses.
99
00:08:57,770 --> 00:09:01,130
Oh, young Alibert.
Only when you learn all the songs, -
100
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:03,881
- can you make that kind of poem.
101
00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:09,352
- What? That'll take a hundred years.
- Nonsense. It won't take that long.
102
00:09:09,741 --> 00:09:13,981
I was only 57 when I finished
my apprenticeship.
103
00:09:14,328 --> 00:09:16,488
Ouch! Fucking great.
104
00:09:16,747 --> 00:09:19,947
Can Rikke, can Rikke,
can Rikke drink beer?
105
00:09:20,251 --> 00:09:23,691
Can Rikke,
can Rikke, can Rikke drink beer?
106
00:09:27,717 --> 00:09:29,717
Oh, it's good, man.
107
00:09:31,429 --> 00:09:35,749
Can any one of you little children
guzzle a small pint of beer?
108
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:38,500
(burps)
109
00:09:40,396 --> 00:09:42,716
Alibert!
110
00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:44,982
So I was on the hunt -
111
00:09:45,234 --> 00:09:49,114
- And then I just run into
an ork and killed it.
112
00:09:49,446 --> 00:09:53,126
- Here you go, honey. Wear it.
- Oh, how cute.
113
00:09:53,450 --> 00:09:57,090
Yes, it brings out your eyes.
You have to see this too.
114
00:09:57,412 --> 00:10:00,612
This is a real
invisibility lotion.
115
00:10:00,916 --> 00:10:03,876
I used it,
when I snuck into a harem.
116
00:10:04,169 --> 00:10:06,689
Cool, right? Total chick magnet.
117
00:10:06,963 --> 00:10:10,243
So you can't see
who is attacking you.
118
00:10:10,550 --> 00:10:13,510
What was that? Hey, there it is again.
And now it stopped.
119
00:10:13,845 --> 00:10:17,325
- There it is again.
- Ouch, Gorak. Let me be.
120
00:10:17,641 --> 00:10:21,441
- It will not stop.
- For God's sake, stop it!
121
00:10:21,770 --> 00:10:24,610
Oh, Ronal, damn man.
122
00:10:35,492 --> 00:10:38,772
(encouragement and whiplash)
123
00:10:39,746 --> 00:10:43,626
(whiplash and groans)
124
00:10:58,431 --> 00:11:01,711
All sons of Crane are here,
Prince Volcazar.
125
00:11:02,018 --> 00:11:04,258
Then it's time.
126
00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:07,400
(evil laughter)
127
00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:20,042
(a fart)
128
00:11:25,416 --> 00:11:29,496
- Can I take the watch for a bit?
- What about the feast?
129
00:11:29,837 --> 00:11:33,077
I'm just kind of ... a little tired.
130
00:11:33,382 --> 00:11:37,502
Okay, then. Remember to blow the horn,
if you see something suspicious.
131
00:11:37,845 --> 00:11:41,765
- Do you think you can handle that?
- I'm not an idiot.
132
00:11:42,099 --> 00:11:44,899
- I want to be alone.
- It's a large horn.
133
00:11:45,185 --> 00:11:49,545
Remember, breathe in.
Deep down in the stomach. And ...
134
00:11:49,898 --> 00:11:53,538
Damn, Uncle.
Who would attack us?
135
00:11:53,860 --> 00:11:57,420
We're fucking barbarians.
We smash everything.
136
00:11:57,739 --> 00:12:01,259
- We've never been attacked.
- That may well be.
137
00:12:01,576 --> 00:12:04,816
But it's the principle,
which is important.
138
00:12:05,956 --> 00:12:08,836
That boy will be the end of me one day.
139
00:12:11,836 --> 00:12:14,276
QUEST-MAGAZINE
140
00:12:14,547 --> 00:12:17,587
Fucking barbarians, man.
141
00:12:32,315 --> 00:12:34,635
What the hell is this?
142
00:12:52,168 --> 00:13:06,848
(insane laughter)
143
00:13:08,892 --> 00:13:11,852
We're being attacked?
We're being attacked!
144
00:13:15,733 --> 00:13:18,053
Get your weapons!
145
00:13:18,318 --> 00:13:20,318
(breathing in)
146
00:13:20,571 --> 00:13:23,171
(a weak blast)
147
00:13:23,448 --> 00:13:25,448
(buzzing)
148
00:13:27,286 --> 00:13:28,766
No, no!
149
00:13:29,580 --> 00:13:33,380
- We're ready to attack!
- Let hell rain down.
150
00:13:38,547 --> 00:13:40,107
Fuck! Fuck!
151
00:13:40,340 --> 00:13:42,260
(breathing sounds)
152
00:13:42,509 --> 00:13:44,909
Fire!
153
00:13:48,098 --> 00:13:51,418
Attack! Show no mercy!
154
00:13:55,855 --> 00:13:59,575
- Look! Fireworks!
- Did we order that?
155
00:14:01,319 --> 00:14:04,719
(insane laughter)
156
00:14:11,287 --> 00:14:14,607
We're being attacked!
Barbarians, defend yourselves!
157
00:14:14,916 --> 00:14:16,836
Hup, hup, hup!
158
00:14:24,175 --> 00:14:27,375
Oh, thank heavens.
They're saved.
159
00:14:27,678 --> 00:14:30,918
This is a mad, fucking sick party, man.
160
00:14:33,351 --> 00:14:35,751
- Bummer!
- No!
161
00:14:38,773 --> 00:14:41,213
Help! Help!
162
00:14:58,042 --> 00:15:00,322
Punch! Smack!
163
00:15:01,211 --> 00:15:03,531
Bash! Muscles!
164
00:15:10,804 --> 00:15:13,444
(evil laughter)
165
00:15:13,724 --> 00:15:16,964
(roar of pain)
166
00:15:19,229 --> 00:15:22,269
I don't think
there are any more.
167
00:15:22,566 --> 00:15:24,966
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
168
00:15:26,987 --> 00:15:29,107
He's mine.
169
00:15:29,364 --> 00:15:31,284
(roar)
170
00:15:32,951 --> 00:15:36,111
We're done for.
Why didn't you blow the horn?
171
00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:38,733
- I tried!
- You tried?
172
00:15:38,998 --> 00:15:42,038
"Trying" isn't good enough, Ronal.
173
00:15:42,335 --> 00:15:44,615
Get up. We must rescue the others.
174
00:15:53,179 --> 00:15:56,219
(evil laughter)
175
00:16:01,854 --> 00:16:05,094
The famous sons of Crane.
176
00:16:06,067 --> 00:16:08,987
How pathetic.
177
00:16:10,446 --> 00:16:14,126
Put them in chains.
Leave no one behind.
178
00:16:19,121 --> 00:16:21,801
We Barbarians shall never surrender!
179
00:16:38,182 --> 00:16:40,302
(evil laughter)
180
00:16:48,609 --> 00:16:51,329
Everyone must bow to me ...
181
00:16:54,823 --> 00:16:56,303
No!
182
00:16:56,533 --> 00:16:58,373
... or die!
183
00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:00,818
No!
184
00:17:01,079 --> 00:17:05,119
- Take them away.
- You heard Prince Volcazar!
185
00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:08,979
Get the last barbarians in the cart.
Come on!
186
00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:11,896
Put him in! Move!
187
00:17:12,173 --> 00:17:14,733
- Come here!
- No, I won't ...
188
00:17:15,010 --> 00:17:17,730
- In with them!
- What the hell?
189
00:17:18,013 --> 00:17:20,333
Remember your shoes and bags ... axes!
190
00:17:20,598 --> 00:17:23,038
We will not come back
and get them!
191
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:26,509
General? This prisoner
doesn't fit in the shackles.
192
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:30,573
- Should I just throw him away?
- That's not a barbarian.
193
00:17:30,900 --> 00:17:34,700
- Drag him over there and kill him.
- Oh, thank you.
194
00:17:35,029 --> 00:17:37,989
- Lucky son of a bitch.
- He's always the one who get to do it.
195
00:17:38,283 --> 00:17:42,763
- Kicking ass feels good
- Kicking ass feels good
196
00:17:43,121 --> 00:17:48,201
- as a bonus, it is really nice
- as a bonus, it is really nice
197
00:17:48,584 --> 00:17:51,624
sits well
feels good
198
00:17:54,257 --> 00:17:58,417
No, I can't die. Help! Help!
199
00:18:06,394 --> 00:18:09,394
Shut up,
this is really exciting.
200
00:18:13,275 --> 00:18:16,875
Oh, man. Shit, it's night, man.
201
00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:20,636
My head, man.
The town is torn up, what happened?
202
00:18:20,949 --> 00:18:24,109
Where did everyone go?
203
00:18:24,411 --> 00:18:27,971
Did they go to the afterparty?
Hey, you, wait!
204
00:18:44,222 --> 00:18:46,382
Ro ... Ronal.
205
00:18:47,601 --> 00:18:50,441
Uncle. You're alive.
206
00:18:50,729 --> 00:18:52,769
Not for long.
207
00:18:53,023 --> 00:18:56,143
Crane ... calls to me.
208
00:18:56,443 --> 00:19:00,843
No, uncle,
it's probably just a ... flesh wound.
209
00:19:01,197 --> 00:19:05,357
Ronal when your parents died,
I swore to take care of you.
210
00:19:05,702 --> 00:19:10,862
And I've kept that promise. But now
it's your turn to promise something.
211
00:19:11,249 --> 00:19:15,729
Promise me that you will save the others.
You owe it to them.
212
00:19:16,087 --> 00:19:19,927
- What? I can't save them.
- Promise me!
213
00:19:20,258 --> 00:19:24,378
- But ...
- Travel north to the oracle.
214
00:19:24,721 --> 00:19:29,481
- He will help you.
- Oracle? How?
215
00:19:29,851 --> 00:19:32,451
(coughs)
216
00:19:33,604 --> 00:19:36,644
You are our only hope, Ronal.
217
00:19:36,941 --> 00:19:39,901
The last of the barbarians.
218
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,480
(dying breath)
219
00:19:43,739 --> 00:19:47,179
Uncle? Uncle?
220
00:19:49,036 --> 00:19:51,476
Uncle?
221
00:20:12,601 --> 00:20:15,641
Gorak's invisibility lotion.
222
00:20:17,898 --> 00:20:19,978
Yo.
223
00:20:20,234 --> 00:20:24,914
- What happened? Going on a quest?
- Uh, no. I must find the others.
224
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:27,160
Well, okay.
225
00:20:27,407 --> 00:20:31,887
- It's a quest. You are going on a quest!
- No. I have to find my people.
226
00:20:32,245 --> 00:20:35,085
Awesome, this is a quest.
Wait a minute.
227
00:20:35,373 --> 00:20:38,573
- Who are you?
- Hey. Alibert, the bard.
228
00:20:38,877 --> 00:20:41,317
Damn nice to be joining you.
229
00:20:41,588 --> 00:20:45,508
You can't say no;
I'll just follow you anyway.
230
00:20:45,842 --> 00:20:49,802
Now we are on our way, shall we
go through the Amazon land?
231
00:20:50,138 --> 00:20:53,778
- No.
- The girls down there would be lovely.
232
00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:57,020
- We should investigate.
- Listen to me.
233
00:20:57,312 --> 00:21:01,272
- Don't follow me.
- Those girls are super horny.
234
00:21:01,608 --> 00:21:04,808
- No!
- Fuck, you're boring, man.
235
00:21:06,404 --> 00:21:10,844
Now I know where we're going. We're headed
to Berylia. They have ladies with tails.
236
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:14,080
And four breasts! This could be
awesome, man!
237
00:21:14,370 --> 00:21:17,930
- No, it's not.
- Come on. Why are we here?
238
00:21:19,083 --> 00:21:23,283
- I need to talk to an oracle.
- Is that a kind of travel agent?
239
00:21:23,629 --> 00:21:26,029
(surprised outburst)
240
00:21:28,467 --> 00:21:30,947
Sick crib.
241
00:21:38,227 --> 00:21:40,307
Hello?
242
00:21:43,607 --> 00:21:46,607
- Hello?
- It's about time.
243
00:21:46,902 --> 00:21:50,142
I've been sitting here since last Wednesday.
Are you coming or what?
244
00:21:50,447 --> 00:21:55,087
- Sorry, what?
- Heck, I need to be wiped.
245
00:21:55,452 --> 00:21:57,652
You aren't the home care?
246
00:21:57,913 --> 00:21:59,673
- No, we ...
- Wait!
247
00:21:59,915 --> 00:22:02,155
(fart and shit sounds)
248
00:22:02,417 --> 00:22:06,057
Gundar has sent me ...
249
00:22:06,380 --> 00:22:10,860
That's it. You came just in time.
And be careful with my hemorrhoids.
250
00:22:13,845 --> 00:22:16,285
(sniffs and gasps)
251
00:22:16,556 --> 00:22:18,956
(coughs phlegm)
252
00:22:19,226 --> 00:22:23,786
He is a mighty warlord,
this Prince Volcazar, that you're talking about.
253
00:22:24,147 --> 00:22:27,747
dark forces from the underworld protect him.
254
00:22:29,778 --> 00:22:34,298
I'm not really
interested in fighting with him.
255
00:22:34,657 --> 00:22:38,297
Volcazar is looking for power
throughout Metalonia.
256
00:22:38,620 --> 00:22:42,140
So far, no one has
been able to stop him.
257
00:22:44,334 --> 00:22:46,414
Wow.
258
00:22:46,669 --> 00:22:50,109
(chanting)
259
00:23:03,102 --> 00:23:05,422
(laughs)
260
00:23:05,688 --> 00:23:08,728
(coughs and spits)
261
00:23:09,734 --> 00:23:15,854
He wears an impenetrable armor over
his body. No weapon can harm him.
262
00:23:17,032 --> 00:23:20,792
Only one sword has the strength
to crush him.
263
00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:23,080
Watch.
264
00:23:31,922 --> 00:23:35,722
- Oh, sick.
- What's so special about it?
265
00:23:36,051 --> 00:23:41,171
It should especially be known to you, barbarian.
This is the sword of Crane.
266
00:23:47,145 --> 00:23:49,345
That's a joke, right?
267
00:23:51,650 --> 00:23:55,770
Honestly, it doesn't exist.
Everybody has been looking for the damn sword -
268
00:23:56,113 --> 00:23:59,273
- for thousands of years,
and no one has found it.
269
00:23:59,574 --> 00:24:01,974
It's just a silly story.
270
00:24:02,244 --> 00:24:07,004
Crane's sword is not a myth.
Only it can damage Prince Volcazar.
271
00:24:07,374 --> 00:24:11,454
You can never save your people
without killing him first.
272
00:24:11,795 --> 00:24:13,235
But I can't.
273
00:24:13,463 --> 00:24:18,023
Only a great warrior without fear
in his heart will be able to use it.
274
00:24:18,426 --> 00:24:21,586
Without a great warrior
you will not defeat Volcazar.
275
00:24:21,888 --> 00:24:25,928
And without a great warrior
your people are damned!
276
00:24:30,521 --> 00:24:34,361
But I could be wrong.
I'm just an oracle.
277
00:24:34,692 --> 00:24:39,692
It's not your fault the
barbarians were captured, is it?
278
00:25:26,326 --> 00:25:29,046
Gu'ra zul!
279
00:25:29,329 --> 00:25:31,609
Wizard!
280
00:25:31,873 --> 00:25:36,153
Lord, time is fast approaching. The resurrection
at the underworld temple must begin soon.
281
00:25:36,503 --> 00:25:40,663
Otherwise it will be impossible to carry out
the ritual. Have we caught the sons of Crane?
282
00:25:41,007 --> 00:25:46,087
- The mission is complete.
- Fantastic. Now nothing can stop us.
283
00:25:46,471 --> 00:25:50,991
Mighty Zaal. The sons of Crane are assembled.
284
00:25:51,351 --> 00:25:53,551
Awake from your slumber!
285
00:25:53,812 --> 00:25:55,492
(chanting)
286
00:25:55,730 --> 00:25:58,330
What is happening?
287
00:25:58,608 --> 00:26:00,928
Finally.
288
00:26:11,663 --> 00:26:13,623
- What?
- What now?
289
00:26:13,873 --> 00:26:18,033
The mighty Zaal is not satisfied.
We're missing a Son of Crane.
290
00:26:18,378 --> 00:26:22,378
- Impossible. Unless ...
- I don't understand ...
291
00:26:22,715 --> 00:26:25,475
- We left none alive.
- Fool!
292
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:30,840
I need the blood of all living
barbarians, and you let one escape.
293
00:26:31,224 --> 00:26:36,224
- I don't understand.
- Find him for me. Now!
294
00:26:37,813 --> 00:26:41,573
for they are on a quest,
Alibert and Ronal
295
00:26:41,901 --> 00:26:46,341
the greatest heroes
in Metalonia
296
00:26:46,697 --> 00:26:50,097
ooh-ooh
it's going so well
297
00:26:52,578 --> 00:26:54,898
and the girls they say
298
00:26:55,164 --> 00:26:57,764
Alibert
you're so sexy
299
00:26:58,042 --> 00:27:03,402
My village has been burned,
and I must find the sword of Crane.
300
00:27:03,797 --> 00:27:07,997
Can't you be quiet, for God's sake,
just five minutes, so I can think?
301
00:27:09,845 --> 00:27:14,085
- I'll sing a barbarian song instead.
- For God's sake, no.
302
00:27:14,433 --> 00:27:18,713
and Crane drew his proud sword
and drove with all his force
303
00:27:19,062 --> 00:27:22,262
the blade deep in Zaal
and Zaal's skull burst
304
00:27:22,566 --> 00:27:25,646
Wait a minute. The song.
What was it?
305
00:27:25,944 --> 00:27:27,904
"The Epic of Crane".
306
00:27:28,196 --> 00:27:31,676
There are 2073 verses,
and I know them all by heart.
307
00:27:31,992 --> 00:27:34,592
Crane gets tons of pussy.
308
00:27:34,869 --> 00:27:38,229
- Why didn't you say this before?
- That he gets pussy?
309
00:27:38,540 --> 00:27:41,500
No, about the song. It's about Crane.
310
00:27:41,793 --> 00:27:47,113
You just sang a verse about his sword.
Is there one that says where it is?
311
00:27:47,507 --> 00:27:51,707
from the chest of Crane the blood flowed
it bled day and night
312
00:27:52,053 --> 00:27:54,453
No no. After he dies. Come on. Sing.
313
00:27:54,722 --> 00:27:58,202
in his tomb was placed the sword
the place is now forgotten
314
00:27:58,518 --> 00:28:02,798
only the Book of Wisdom in Elfland
knows where it is stored
315
00:28:03,147 --> 00:28:06,387
The Book of Wisdom in Elfland.
That's it.
316
00:28:06,692 --> 00:28:09,132
- We need to go to Elfland.
- What do you think?
317
00:28:09,403 --> 00:28:13,363
- This is how we find the sword!
- Elf girls are crazy sexy.
318
00:28:13,699 --> 00:28:16,779
This will be a great quest.
319
00:28:17,078 --> 00:28:21,718
Okay, I have two rules for the
quest. One: This is not a quest.
320
00:28:22,083 --> 00:28:27,963
And two: we see something that is even
the least bit unsafe, we go around.
321
00:28:28,380 --> 00:28:30,820
- Is that a deal?
- Got it.
322
00:28:39,141 --> 00:28:43,141
Is it rule number one or two,
that we just violated?
323
00:28:44,396 --> 00:28:46,636
Run for your life.
324
00:28:47,649 --> 00:28:50,809
Shit! What the hell happened?
325
00:28:58,785 --> 00:29:00,705
What the hell did this?
326
00:29:06,084 --> 00:29:08,204
(scream)
327
00:29:15,051 --> 00:29:16,771
No! No!
328
00:29:19,764 --> 00:29:21,644
Ouch!
329
00:29:21,891 --> 00:29:24,371
(choking sounds)
330
00:29:26,730 --> 00:29:30,410
- Who are you? Are you one of them?
- My ... my neck.
331
00:29:30,733 --> 00:29:32,893
Answer me!
332
00:29:33,153 --> 00:29:36,713
I'm just a random
passer-by. I swear.
333
00:29:37,031 --> 00:29:40,351
It was not my intention
to disturb you in the middle of your ...
334
00:29:40,660 --> 00:29:45,260
- Slaughter of random men.
- They challenged me to a duel.
335
00:29:45,623 --> 00:29:48,023
Oh no, not again.
336
00:29:48,292 --> 00:29:51,332
(whining and crying)
337
00:29:55,007 --> 00:29:58,207
Get out of here.
I'll let you live.
338
00:30:01,597 --> 00:30:05,157
She is like, the warrior,
we need for the sword of Crane.
339
00:30:05,476 --> 00:30:09,116
What? Are you insane?
She is a fucking violent psychopath.
340
00:30:09,438 --> 00:30:12,358
- Yes, exactly. Ask her.
- No.
341
00:30:12,650 --> 00:30:17,290
Wanker. Yo, beautiful. My friend Ronal
would like to ask you something.
342
00:30:17,655 --> 00:30:20,375
We could use a killer like you -
343
00:30:20,658 --> 00:30:24,618
- on our quest, you know.
In order to save his people.
344
00:30:24,953 --> 00:30:31,353
And as a little bonus, I would
let you play on my lute.
345
00:30:31,794 --> 00:30:34,634
I don't know what he's talking about.
346
00:30:34,922 --> 00:30:39,442
put your hand on my lute
and let me teach you to suck
347
00:30:39,801 --> 00:30:42,921
I don't want to learn to play
your instrument.
348
00:30:43,221 --> 00:30:47,141
- You are extremely uptight.
- I said it wasn't a good idea.
349
00:30:47,476 --> 00:30:49,876
Another must rescue the barbarians.
350
00:30:50,145 --> 00:30:53,745
- Did you say barbarians?
- Um, yes.
351
00:30:54,065 --> 00:30:57,225
- The barbarians, those are your people?
- Uh, of course.
352
00:30:57,527 --> 00:31:01,447
Those, that they say,
are the greatest warriors in Metalonia?
353
00:31:01,781 --> 00:31:03,821
Yes.
354
00:31:04,784 --> 00:31:08,104
That's a worthy cause.
I'll go with you.
355
00:31:08,413 --> 00:31:09,933
What?
356
00:31:10,165 --> 00:31:13,125
I'm Zandra from the shield maiden clan.
357
00:31:13,418 --> 00:31:15,898
- Where are you headed?
- Elfland.
358
00:31:16,171 --> 00:31:19,171
- We need to find out where it is.
- We will need a guide.
359
00:31:19,465 --> 00:31:23,465
- There is a town nearby. Come.
- No, wait. You can't just ...
360
00:31:23,845 --> 00:31:27,205
- Do you have a problem with that?
- Now ... uh, no.
361
00:31:28,558 --> 00:31:32,598
- Super. Come.
- I swear, you scored her, man.
362
00:31:42,822 --> 00:31:44,342
(sniffing)
363
00:31:44,573 --> 00:31:47,613
Son of Crane! Son of Crane!
364
00:31:50,037 --> 00:31:52,597
Come on! Faster!
365
00:32:10,599 --> 00:32:12,799
Oh, cool.
366
00:32:18,106 --> 00:32:23,066
Shave my legs and call me Susan,
if this is not the coolest place.
367
00:32:25,948 --> 00:32:28,868
- Okay, we're here.
- Uh, okay.
368
00:32:29,159 --> 00:32:31,399
What's up, assholes?
369
00:32:31,661 --> 00:32:35,381
Can I trouble one of you
to call me a taxi?
370
00:32:35,707 --> 00:32:38,467
- Fuck.
- Sweet. It's happy hour.
371
00:32:38,752 --> 00:32:42,032
There are a lot in there today.
Stay behind me.
372
00:32:42,339 --> 00:32:45,779
We'll enter quietly,
find a guide -
373
00:32:46,092 --> 00:32:49,052
- and then leave
before anyone notices us.
374
00:32:49,346 --> 00:32:52,346
And without a fight, okay?
375
00:32:54,684 --> 00:32:56,764
Please?
376
00:32:57,020 --> 00:33:00,260
- As you wish.
- Thank you.
377
00:33:03,776 --> 00:33:07,456
Bing, bing-li-bing-bing.
In your ass.
378
00:33:14,370 --> 00:33:16,210
(squawk)
379
00:33:16,456 --> 00:33:19,656
Son of Crane! Son of Crane!
380
00:33:19,959 --> 00:33:24,519
So I said to her: "Your breasts
look tired. Should I hold them?"
381
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:28,240
Your mother has always
had the largest tits.
382
00:33:29,677 --> 00:33:33,037
Hey! Hey! Stop that, buddy.
383
00:33:33,764 --> 00:33:36,644
I'll tell you.
She was angry, man.
384
00:33:36,934 --> 00:33:41,334
You can't win them all.
But you can try.
385
00:33:45,985 --> 00:33:48,105
(smoker's cough)
386
00:33:48,362 --> 00:33:52,122
- What do you want?
- We're looking for a guide.
387
00:33:54,076 --> 00:33:58,636
There is only one left. Down by the
bathroom. Ask for Elric.
388
00:33:58,997 --> 00:34:02,677
Hey, who ordered a pint
and a double Manhattan?
389
00:34:03,001 --> 00:34:04,561
Okay. Thanks.
390
00:34:12,302 --> 00:34:15,182
Uh, hey. Uh, are you Elric?
391
00:34:15,472 --> 00:34:19,312
The voice of the wind
lights the evening sun's embrace.
392
00:34:19,643 --> 00:34:24,043
Stellar Children,
great Mother Sun now rests.
393
00:34:24,397 --> 00:34:28,317
The darkness comes as a
pensive sigh.
394
00:34:29,944 --> 00:34:33,704
I sensed you would come. We
elves are connected with all living things.
395
00:34:34,032 --> 00:34:37,112
Let our souls meet.
396
00:34:38,745 --> 00:34:42,265
You bear the dreams of an eagle
and the will of a mouse.
397
00:34:42,582 --> 00:34:47,342
Mighty blood dwells in your heart.
Kormamin lindua ka'elja.
398
00:34:47,712 --> 00:34:52,192
Yes, that sounds exciting. My name is
Ronal, and I have some place ...
399
00:34:52,550 --> 00:34:54,310
(shushing)
400
00:34:57,847 --> 00:35:00,727
Names have no meaning.
401
00:35:01,017 --> 00:35:05,817
- I need ...
- Spiritual or physical guidance?
402
00:35:06,188 --> 00:35:08,388
We need to find Elfland.
403
00:35:08,649 --> 00:35:12,849
The wind's voice shall tell me,
whether I should help you. Stand still!
404
00:35:13,237 --> 00:35:19,037
Let me penetrate your aura.
Kormamin lindua ka'elja.
405
00:35:19,493 --> 00:35:22,053
Kormamin lindua ...
406
00:35:22,329 --> 00:35:27,529
The wind says, I shall follow you.
My bow will sing with your sword.
407
00:35:27,918 --> 00:35:29,798
(kissing sounds)
408
00:35:30,045 --> 00:35:31,845
Okay ...
409
00:35:35,050 --> 00:35:37,370
(astonished pain)
Damn.
410
00:35:37,636 --> 00:35:41,276
- Hey, I found him.
- My bow will sing with your sword.
411
00:35:41,598 --> 00:35:44,438
Yes. Come, let's get out of here.
412
00:35:46,853 --> 00:35:50,133
Hey, shield maiden, you're leaving already?
413
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:53,600
What do you say to a little dance?
414
00:35:59,950 --> 00:36:03,510
Hey, guys, sorry,
we were just leaving.
415
00:36:04,996 --> 00:36:07,756
- I accept your challenge.
- What?
416
00:36:08,041 --> 00:36:10,321
He must defeat me or die.
417
00:36:10,585 --> 00:36:14,105
- We shouldn't create any problems.
- He challenged me.
418
00:36:14,422 --> 00:36:17,902
You promised. In and out, without fighting.
419
00:36:19,260 --> 00:36:22,220
Okay. So, you take care of it yourself.
420
00:36:22,514 --> 00:36:25,634
Hey, shield maiden, what's it gonna be?
421
00:36:25,934 --> 00:36:27,894
Listen ...
422
00:36:28,144 --> 00:36:32,304
Friend, I know,
it's super cool to fight, -
423
00:36:32,649 --> 00:36:38,889
- but we're in a bit of a hurry, and there
are probably plenty of others here who would fight, -
424
00:36:39,322 --> 00:36:43,442
- so if it's okay with you,
I think we'll just leave.
425
00:36:43,785 --> 00:36:46,305
(laughter and heckling)
426
00:36:49,665 --> 00:36:52,745
- Zandra!
- Not supposed to fight.
427
00:36:56,672 --> 00:36:59,472
That'll make a nice soup base.
428
00:37:01,385 --> 00:37:03,705
Learn to ride!
429
00:37:08,517 --> 00:37:11,597
Have you seen this before?
I can teach you to play it.
430
00:37:11,895 --> 00:37:14,615
Does it make you horny?
431
00:37:17,651 --> 00:37:20,771
I sense
much aggression in the room.
432
00:37:24,324 --> 00:37:27,324
Any last words, chump?
433
00:37:27,744 --> 00:37:30,624
- He's dead.
- What the hell?
434
00:37:30,914 --> 00:37:33,594
I'm gonna make you pay
for throwing up on me.
435
00:37:33,875 --> 00:37:38,155
- Now you're gonna get a new asshole.
- That's enough. Let him be.
436
00:37:45,595 --> 00:37:47,795
Black Riders.
437
00:37:56,982 --> 00:37:59,302
(sniffing)
438
00:37:59,567 --> 00:38:01,967
Son of Crane! Son of Crane!
439
00:38:02,237 --> 00:38:05,197
- Take him!
- No! Help!
440
00:38:05,490 --> 00:38:07,610
(battle cries)
441
00:38:10,828 --> 00:38:12,628
Zandra!
442
00:38:13,957 --> 00:38:18,037
Nobody stands up to Prince
Volcazar's riders and lives!
443
00:38:20,296 --> 00:38:22,616
It's gonna explode!
444
00:38:22,882 --> 00:38:24,602
Move!
445
00:38:30,139 --> 00:38:34,499
Hey! Who is it that ordered
the double Manhattan?
446
00:38:34,852 --> 00:38:37,212
Ouch, my ass!
447
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:38,520
110% ALCOHOL
448
00:38:38,731 --> 00:38:39,931
Goddamn!
449
00:38:50,159 --> 00:38:53,519
(stifled sounds)
(evil laughter)
450
00:38:53,829 --> 00:38:58,469
Fabulous, my lord. One more shot,
and then you've beaten the record.
451
00:38:58,834 --> 00:39:03,234
But we have to find the last
Son of Crane before the next full moon.
452
00:39:03,589 --> 00:39:07,389
- You're ruining my concentration.
- I'm sorry.
453
00:39:07,718 --> 00:39:09,878
(mobile phone ringtone)
454
00:39:11,388 --> 00:39:14,308
- Hello?
- He escaped, sir.
455
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:18,960
The task is more difficult than we thought.
He has the help of a strong warrior.
456
00:39:19,313 --> 00:39:21,873
We'll need reinforcements.
457
00:39:22,149 --> 00:39:24,669
I will not tolerate any more failures!
458
00:39:24,943 --> 00:39:28,543
Bring them to me. Both of them.
459
00:39:41,918 --> 00:39:45,278
Do you know where we are?
It seems like we're going in circles.
460
00:39:45,588 --> 00:39:49,828
The wind speaks to my soul.
We will soon be in the elvish realm.
461
00:39:50,176 --> 00:39:53,976
You said that two days ago.
We're lost, damn it.
462
00:39:54,305 --> 00:39:56,305
We're gonna die of thirst.
463
00:39:56,557 --> 00:39:59,397
- Ha.
- What's so funny?
464
00:39:59,686 --> 00:40:03,766
I have heard that barbarians are strong and
quick to fight, but you're neither.
465
00:40:04,148 --> 00:40:06,748
You just bitch and whine.
466
00:40:07,026 --> 00:40:10,466
It's really funny when you consider
the heritage you come from.
467
00:40:10,780 --> 00:40:14,260
Why are you with us
if you think all I do is whine?
468
00:40:14,575 --> 00:40:17,535
- What's your deal with the barbarians?
- None of your business.
469
00:40:17,828 --> 00:40:20,468
Stop! See.
470
00:40:24,877 --> 00:40:28,637
- And that means ...?
- We elves can communicate with everything.
471
00:40:28,964 --> 00:40:33,484
I will unite myself with its soul
and get it to show us the way.
472
00:40:33,844 --> 00:40:41,244
Kormamin lindua ka'elja.
473
00:40:41,727 --> 00:40:44,207
Kormamin lindua ...
474
00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:48,160
Ouch! My beautiful elf lip!
475
00:41:01,204 --> 00:41:05,164
There. On the other side. There is no
labyrinth on the other side.
476
00:41:08,837 --> 00:41:11,917
The entrance to Elfland.
477
00:41:12,215 --> 00:41:14,775
I did it.
478
00:41:23,935 --> 00:41:26,975
Elf gate, I greet you.
479
00:41:29,441 --> 00:41:32,441
You didn't know it was here?
480
00:41:32,777 --> 00:41:35,457
(grinding)
481
00:41:53,756 --> 00:41:56,596
- Oh! Wild!
- Come on.
482
00:41:56,884 --> 00:42:01,084
Stop! First, our souls are weighed
by the Gate Keepers.
483
00:42:04,141 --> 00:42:08,181
Only those with the right character
may be allowed to go through.
484
00:42:08,521 --> 00:42:11,561
What about those
who do not have the right character?
485
00:42:11,857 --> 00:42:15,057
Who? Well.
They are crushed by the rock wall.
486
00:42:15,361 --> 00:42:18,641
- Well, shall we go?
- I can't.
487
00:42:18,948 --> 00:42:22,428
- What?
- I'm a miserable barbarian.
488
00:42:22,743 --> 00:42:25,343
I don't have
the right character.
489
00:42:25,621 --> 00:42:30,301
- You've misunderstood the meaning.
- Forget it. We'll go around.
490
00:42:30,667 --> 00:42:33,667
When you're on a quest,
follow the guide.
491
00:42:33,962 --> 00:42:37,522
The only thing we get out of that,
is being killed.
492
00:42:37,841 --> 00:42:41,881
But now you call it a quest,
so, remember that it is my quest.
493
00:42:42,220 --> 00:42:46,380
And I've decided that we go around
this ridiculous gate. Come on!
494
00:42:55,484 --> 00:42:59,244
See. No booby traps, no gates,
nothing.
495
00:42:59,571 --> 00:43:04,251
This quest-nonsense is so predictable.
If you just think a bit outside ...
496
00:43:05,201 --> 00:43:06,881
(scream)
497
00:43:11,499 --> 00:43:14,859
- Ouch, my tailbone, man.
- What the hell was that?
498
00:43:15,170 --> 00:43:18,810
We have offended the Gate Keepers.
I sense ...
499
00:43:19,132 --> 00:43:21,332
... great danger!
500
00:43:21,593 --> 00:43:23,673
Run!
501
00:43:29,434 --> 00:43:31,314
Faster!
502
00:43:34,689 --> 00:43:36,649
Ronal!
503
00:43:41,195 --> 00:43:42,755
Come!
504
00:43:50,871 --> 00:43:52,591
Ouch, man.
505
00:43:52,832 --> 00:43:56,432
Fool! Your stupid idea almost
got us all killed.
506
00:43:56,752 --> 00:44:00,952
I just tried
to steer us away from trouble.
507
00:44:01,298 --> 00:44:05,298
You tried? Well, "trying"
isn't good enough, Ronal.
508
00:44:05,636 --> 00:44:08,876
On any quest
there's bound to be problems.
509
00:44:09,181 --> 00:44:12,341
Solve them instead of going around.
510
00:44:23,278 --> 00:44:25,918
There's the Temple of the Elves.
511
00:44:26,198 --> 00:44:29,878
The focal point
of all wisdom in the world.
512
00:44:33,038 --> 00:44:36,758
The Book of Wisdom lies
in the tower's upper chamber -
513
00:44:38,126 --> 00:44:41,766
- so the moon can read
on his voyage across the night sky.
514
00:44:42,088 --> 00:44:44,968
It is the holiest of holy books.
515
00:44:45,258 --> 00:44:48,578
- Fair enough. So we'll just go on up and grab it.
- Quiet!
516
00:44:48,887 --> 00:44:50,527
Look.
517
00:44:52,140 --> 00:44:57,220
No one from the outside is allowed in. The King's
archers have eyes like hawks.
518
00:44:57,604 --> 00:44:59,444
(squeaking)
519
00:45:08,990 --> 00:45:11,950
- Shit.
- They kill everything they see.
520
00:45:23,629 --> 00:45:27,629
So we'll have to do it the hard way.
I'll take these two.
521
00:45:27,967 --> 00:45:30,487
No.
522
00:45:30,761 --> 00:45:32,921
- I'll do it.
- What?
523
00:45:33,180 --> 00:45:35,220
Alone.
524
00:45:35,474 --> 00:45:38,594
Think about it. They'll kill you,
as soon as they see you.
525
00:45:38,894 --> 00:45:40,854
I know, -
526
00:45:41,105 --> 00:45:44,225
- they're not going to see me.
527
00:45:44,525 --> 00:45:48,765
There isn't much left
and I'm the smallest. Wait here.
528
00:45:49,113 --> 00:45:53,033
I could have used
that in high school.
529
00:45:53,367 --> 00:45:56,447
How do I look? Invisible, right?
530
00:45:59,414 --> 00:46:02,134
- What?
- You missed a spot.
531
00:46:04,753 --> 00:46:07,793
Fuck! It's empty.
Fuck, so typical.
532
00:46:08,090 --> 00:46:12,410
Relax, Ronal. They're small dumplings,
nobody will notice.
533
00:46:12,761 --> 00:46:16,481
- Wait here.
- Good luck, Ronal. Don't get killed.
534
00:46:20,769 --> 00:46:22,849
Ouch!
535
00:46:23,104 --> 00:46:30,064
"I have a headache," "I'm tired"
"The kids will wake up!", and blah, blah, blah.
536
00:46:30,528 --> 00:46:33,088
Having such a wife is a bummer,
man.
537
00:46:33,365 --> 00:46:34,685
Bitch!
538
00:46:34,908 --> 00:46:36,228
Ouch!
539
00:46:36,451 --> 00:46:38,491
Who's there?
540
00:46:42,874 --> 00:46:45,674
Hmm, nothing there.
541
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:50,240
- Where were we? Are you ready for this Saturday?
- Are you crazy? I was born ready!
542
00:46:50,590 --> 00:46:54,150
- Hell yeah!
- I must be a crazy psycho!
543
00:46:54,469 --> 00:46:57,749
(footsteps, breathing and groaning)
544
00:47:05,771 --> 00:47:07,851
That's open.
545
00:47:13,195 --> 00:47:15,195
Ouch!
546
00:47:29,253 --> 00:47:32,053
Fuck, I'm in bad shape.
547
00:47:52,109 --> 00:47:54,429
Oh!
548
00:47:56,780 --> 00:47:58,780
(groans)
549
00:48:00,409 --> 00:48:02,529
Ah!
550
00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:08,400
(gasps)
551
00:48:08,625 --> 00:48:11,345
Cursed rats!
552
00:48:21,763 --> 00:48:23,323
Oh!
553
00:48:32,231 --> 00:48:34,631
Wow. There it is.
554
00:48:42,533 --> 00:48:45,493
So where is it?
Sword of Crane, -
555
00:48:45,787 --> 00:48:49,867
- Sword of Crane,
how the hell do I find the Sword of Crane?
556
00:48:51,584 --> 00:48:53,144
There it is.
557
00:48:53,377 --> 00:48:57,177
The Sword of Crane.
Well, that was easy enough.
558
00:48:58,883 --> 00:49:01,603
It's like no one
can see me.
559
00:49:01,886 --> 00:49:03,966
(cries)
560
00:49:04,263 --> 00:49:06,423
(shout of pain)
561
00:49:06,682 --> 00:49:09,882
- A killer rat!
- Kill the rat!
562
00:49:11,270 --> 00:49:13,750
Use the poisoned arrows.
563
00:49:15,608 --> 00:49:16,848
After it!
564
00:49:18,652 --> 00:49:21,332
Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!
565
00:49:23,532 --> 00:49:25,812
Faster!
Shoot it down!
566
00:49:27,619 --> 00:49:30,739
- Ow, damn it!
- Yes! The pig is down!
567
00:49:31,039 --> 00:49:34,439
(cries)
568
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:45,120
Well, how much
are you gonna drink?
569
00:49:45,429 --> 00:49:49,429
- Nothing. I'll smoke instead.
- Did you get Elrond's mother's weed?
570
00:50:14,666 --> 00:50:16,386
Ouch.
571
00:50:20,046 --> 00:50:25,686
The page says that Crane was
buried in the Eternal Mountain.
572
00:50:26,094 --> 00:50:29,414
My elfin soul feels,
that it is far, far away ...
573
00:50:29,764 --> 00:50:31,844
Isn't that it right there?
574
00:50:32,099 --> 00:50:35,939
... that it is nearby.
Destiny is on our side.
575
00:50:36,270 --> 00:50:38,350
Ouch.
576
00:50:38,606 --> 00:50:40,006
No more.
577
00:50:40,232 --> 00:50:41,992
(clears her throat)
578
00:50:43,027 --> 00:50:45,387
- I was wrong about you.
- What?
579
00:50:45,654 --> 00:50:48,414
There in the temple. You did it.
580
00:50:48,699 --> 00:50:52,379
Yes, more or less in any case.
You make the barbarians proud.
581
00:50:53,621 --> 00:50:55,741
Uh. Thanks.
582
00:50:57,583 --> 00:51:01,143
Well, um ... I have to
polish my axe.
583
00:51:01,462 --> 00:51:03,742
I was thinking ...
584
00:51:04,006 --> 00:51:07,446
I've never really said ...
585
00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:11,240
... thank you for coming with me.
586
00:51:11,555 --> 00:51:15,555
Actually, I don't know how I would
have made it this far without you.
587
00:51:15,893 --> 00:51:18,373
Uh ... okay.
588
00:51:19,980 --> 00:51:25,340
Well, we'd better get some sleep.
Maybe we'll find the Sword of Crane tomorrow.
589
00:51:25,736 --> 00:51:30,216
I'll keep watch. We elves need
no sleep. You can sleep safely.
590
00:51:31,366 --> 00:51:36,246
- Can I ask you something, Ronal?
- Uh, yes, of course.
591
00:51:36,621 --> 00:51:39,341
What are the barbarians like?
592
00:51:39,624 --> 00:51:43,264
- They're not very clever.
- I thought more ...
593
00:51:43,586 --> 00:51:46,426
What are they like in here?
594
00:51:47,841 --> 00:51:50,281
Well.
595
00:51:50,552 --> 00:51:52,232
Uh.
596
00:51:52,470 --> 00:51:57,190
A barbarian is always ready to help
those that need it.
597
00:51:57,559 --> 00:52:01,919
Regardless of how dangerous or difficult
it is. And they go on quests all the time.
598
00:52:02,271 --> 00:52:07,151
They're not afraid of anything.
Hard to believe I'm one of them, right?
599
00:52:07,527 --> 00:52:12,407
- And they're great warriors?
- Yep. The best in the world.
600
00:52:12,782 --> 00:52:16,222
It's just so difficult
to find a proper warrior.
601
00:52:16,536 --> 00:52:18,776
Yeah. Uh, what?
602
00:52:19,038 --> 00:52:22,718
I come from
an ancient clan of shield maidens.
603
00:52:23,042 --> 00:52:25,602
Far, far away from here.
604
00:52:27,254 --> 00:52:31,774
Our religion requires that I only
marry the warrior that can defeat me.
605
00:52:36,639 --> 00:52:39,479
Many have tried
to defeat me -
606
00:52:39,767 --> 00:52:41,847
- but I'm too strong.
607
00:52:42,102 --> 00:52:46,342
And for every duel I won,
I just got stronger.
608
00:52:46,690 --> 00:52:50,610
Meanwhile, I could only watch as
the others found themselves a mate.
609
00:52:50,944 --> 00:52:55,064
One by one. Eventually I was
the only one left.
610
00:52:55,407 --> 00:52:59,807
It took longer and longer
for anyone to challenge me.
611
00:53:00,162 --> 00:53:03,962
Then the suitors just
stopped coming.
612
00:53:04,291 --> 00:53:07,411
The head of the clan
became impatient.
613
00:53:07,711 --> 00:53:12,751
They told me to go forth, into
the world, to find a worthy husband.
614
00:53:13,133 --> 00:53:16,773
A warrior with the strength
to defeat me.
615
00:53:18,930 --> 00:53:22,850
If I am defeated, I must
obey his slightest command.
616
00:53:23,184 --> 00:53:26,024
There have been none,
who are strong enough.
617
00:53:26,312 --> 00:53:31,152
But everywhere I've been, it is said,
barbarians are the strongest warriors, -
618
00:53:31,526 --> 00:53:34,846
- so maybe a barbarian from
your village can defeat me.
619
00:53:35,155 --> 00:53:38,715
- That's why I went with you.
- Uh ... Okay.
620
00:53:39,033 --> 00:53:41,273
- Okay, what?
- Well, that's ...
621
00:53:41,536 --> 00:53:45,376
What you just said,
what does it have to do with love?
622
00:53:45,707 --> 00:53:50,467
It will be love that defeats me.
I've waited so long.
623
00:53:52,046 --> 00:53:54,926
Wow.
624
00:53:55,216 --> 00:53:59,816
I've never
told this to anyone before.
625
00:54:00,179 --> 00:54:05,219
It feels so ... nice.
626
00:54:11,107 --> 00:54:15,907
You know what, Ronal? It's actually
nice talking to you.
627
00:54:17,822 --> 00:54:19,782
You're so lovely.
628
00:54:20,032 --> 00:54:23,232
- Uh, to talk with, I mean.
- Well.
629
00:54:23,535 --> 00:54:28,575
And if I had meant it the
other way, we'd have to fight.
630
00:54:28,957 --> 00:54:34,157
- No, I wouldn't be so fortunate.
- Yeah, that would be a little strange.
631
00:54:36,048 --> 00:54:38,248
(animal roar)
632
00:54:38,509 --> 00:54:40,909
- What was that?
- I don't know.
633
00:54:41,178 --> 00:54:44,418
Hey, Elric.
(snoring)
634
00:54:46,725 --> 00:54:49,285
Elves do not sleep.
635
00:54:49,561 --> 00:54:55,121
- What is it, what's making that sound?
- I sense a terrible voice.
636
00:54:57,027 --> 00:55:00,187
(cries)
637
00:55:00,488 --> 00:55:04,328
No one escapes
Prince Volcazar's anger!
638
00:55:04,659 --> 00:55:06,539
Ronal, watch out!
639
00:55:08,872 --> 00:55:10,432
Zandra!
640
00:55:16,379 --> 00:55:19,619
- Curses!
- Ronal, wait for me!
641
00:55:30,560 --> 00:55:33,160
Ronal!
642
00:55:33,438 --> 00:55:35,358
Oh, fuck!
643
00:55:42,780 --> 00:55:45,060
(evil laughter)
644
00:55:52,748 --> 00:55:54,388
Shit!
645
00:55:58,796 --> 00:56:00,556
They're gone.
646
00:56:00,798 --> 00:56:03,558
Damn! Let's move!
647
00:56:05,427 --> 00:56:07,427
Zandra!
648
00:56:09,890 --> 00:56:12,650
- No, no, no.
- We'll find her.
649
00:56:12,935 --> 00:56:16,375
If we go now,
we can find them. Come.
650
00:56:19,691 --> 00:56:22,851
- What did you do?
- It wasn't me.
651
00:56:28,033 --> 00:56:29,873
The Amazons.
652
00:56:41,630 --> 00:56:45,070
(giggles, laughter and chitchat)
653
00:56:49,387 --> 00:56:52,627
- It stuck.
- Congratulations, honey.
654
00:56:52,932 --> 00:56:57,212
... can't get too much sun.
655
00:56:57,562 --> 00:57:00,842
See my new shoes.
Aren't they fantastic?
656
00:57:01,149 --> 00:57:04,509
- It's only women.
- I've died and gone to heaven.
657
00:57:06,696 --> 00:57:10,776
- Hey, girls. What's going on?
- What's that?
658
00:57:11,117 --> 00:57:15,637
- Oh, totally botched stomach pouch.
- Hello. Good to see you.
659
00:57:25,339 --> 00:57:28,739
High Queen, we've captured
these women in the jungle.
660
00:57:29,051 --> 00:57:33,251
We have brought them to you,
so you can decide their fate.
661
00:57:33,597 --> 00:57:36,357
Stand them up. Let me see.
662
00:57:50,155 --> 00:57:54,435
What remarkable women.
I've never seen anything like it.
663
00:57:54,785 --> 00:57:57,425
- What's this?
- Ow!
664
00:57:57,704 --> 00:58:01,584
- One even has hair on his chin.
- How clumsy!
665
00:58:01,917 --> 00:58:05,557
- High Queen.
- Quiet, ugly girl.
666
00:58:05,879 --> 00:58:09,799
- Who asked you to speak?
- We're not women.
667
00:58:10,133 --> 00:58:14,693
- Well, we're men, you know?
- Men?
668
00:58:15,055 --> 00:58:18,455
- Or nearly so.
- Men?
669
00:58:21,812 --> 00:58:28,252
Heaven be praised. The gods have heard
our prayers and sent us two men.
670
00:58:30,987 --> 00:58:35,027
Finally, the time has come,
when we can grow our tribe.
671
00:58:35,367 --> 00:58:38,647
Take them to the sacred mating cabins.
672
00:58:39,829 --> 00:58:42,029
- What?
- What!
673
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:47,000
(cry of joy)
674
00:58:49,464 --> 00:58:53,544
We'll take the thin one first.
And save him for tomorrow.
675
00:58:53,885 --> 00:58:56,565
No, help.
No, I won't!
676
00:58:58,598 --> 00:59:02,878
Honestly, man. Why can't it be me.
I'd be more than willing to do it.
677
00:59:03,227 --> 00:59:06,147
That's so fucking typical.
678
00:59:07,690 --> 00:59:09,810
No!
679
00:59:17,700 --> 00:59:20,580
- Lord.
- You have them?
680
00:59:20,870 --> 00:59:25,150
We have caught the warrior who
helped the barbarian escape.
681
00:59:39,263 --> 00:59:41,303
Let me see.
682
00:59:43,559 --> 00:59:45,719
A shield maiden.
683
00:59:46,603 --> 00:59:51,883
- And a very sexy one.
- Give me a weapon and let me fight.
684
00:59:52,276 --> 00:59:54,916
In time.
685
00:59:55,195 --> 00:59:57,075
(sniff)
686
00:59:57,322 --> 01:00:00,282
No one lays a hand on me without suffering.
687
01:00:00,575 --> 01:00:03,135
So die then!
688
01:00:20,720 --> 01:00:22,520
(battle cry)
689
01:00:46,662 --> 01:00:51,502
Impressive.
You are my type of woman.
690
01:00:51,876 --> 01:00:55,596
Too bad I have to
to kill you!
691
01:01:14,481 --> 01:01:16,241
What?
692
01:01:22,740 --> 01:01:25,540
Foolish woman.
693
01:01:43,635 --> 01:01:49,435
I know your rules, shield maiden.
You must obey me now.
694
01:01:51,393 --> 01:01:53,993
It is your destiny.
695
01:01:54,271 --> 01:01:56,871
You have defeated me.
696
01:01:57,148 --> 01:01:59,748
(evil laughter)
697
01:02:01,778 --> 01:02:04,978
Single piercing is not cool.
698
01:02:05,281 --> 01:02:07,401
Double piercing is the shit.
699
01:02:12,747 --> 01:02:14,347
(door opens)
700
01:02:14,624 --> 01:02:17,024
(whining)
701
01:02:18,294 --> 01:02:21,134
Yes! It's about time.
Is it my turn?
702
01:02:21,422 --> 01:02:24,382
The ceremony is over.
We will use you tomorrow.
703
01:02:24,675 --> 01:02:27,715
- What? Tomorrow?
- It's the Queen's order.
704
01:02:28,012 --> 01:02:32,052
Come back!
I want to be abused!
705
01:02:33,809 --> 01:02:36,529
- Did you remember to lock the door?
- Of course.
706
01:02:36,812 --> 01:02:39,212
(winces)
707
01:02:39,482 --> 01:02:41,722
Hey, what are you doing?
708
01:02:43,819 --> 01:02:47,339
- We have to leave.
- What about all the Amazons?
709
01:02:47,656 --> 01:02:51,176
Zandra is in danger. We must find
the Sword of Crane and help her.
710
01:02:51,494 --> 01:02:54,894
- That can wait a week.
- We can't leave her behind.
711
01:02:55,206 --> 01:02:58,766
- We can find another warrior?
- I want Zandra!
712
01:02:59,084 --> 01:03:03,244
Hey, you didn't want
her help to start with.
713
01:03:03,630 --> 01:03:08,150
Fuck you! I'll be right here
making sweet love with hot babes.
714
01:03:08,510 --> 01:03:11,830
That's the only reason
I came on this quest.
715
01:03:12,139 --> 01:03:17,099
Oh, I forgot. You're not
on a quest. You're just fucking boring.
716
01:03:18,228 --> 01:03:20,828
Fine. Stay here.
717
01:03:22,566 --> 01:03:25,846
You're not
any damn help anyway.
718
01:03:29,114 --> 01:03:32,234
(hums conga rhythm)
719
01:03:36,746 --> 01:03:39,746
Oh, I just love that song.
720
01:03:41,167 --> 01:03:44,407
(tuning)
(string pops)
721
01:03:44,713 --> 01:03:48,233
Damn! Fucking shit!
722
01:04:00,895 --> 01:04:04,455
Oh, what the fuck am I doing, man?
Ronal, I'm coming.
723
01:04:04,774 --> 01:04:06,934
(stomach growls)
724
01:04:14,408 --> 01:04:19,048
- Madam Queen?
- I just had to see you.
725
01:04:19,997 --> 01:04:24,877
Ever since I saw you the first time,
my body trembles with longing.
726
01:04:25,252 --> 01:04:29,332
I know it's against the rules,
but I must have you.
727
01:04:29,673 --> 01:04:34,233
- If I may ...
- I cannot control myself. Take me!
728
01:04:34,595 --> 01:04:37,075
Take me! Oh! Yes!
729
01:04:43,520 --> 01:04:46,040
Take me!
730
01:04:46,315 --> 01:04:48,555
Stop!
731
01:04:48,817 --> 01:04:52,737
Unfortunately I can't, Madam Queen.
My friend needs me.
732
01:04:53,113 --> 01:04:54,153
What?
733
01:04:54,364 --> 01:04:57,644
Perhaps I can be taken
prisoner again on the way back.
734
01:04:57,951 --> 01:05:00,471
Alarm!
735
01:05:04,958 --> 01:05:09,958
- Pigs! Men are pigs!
- Insane bitches, man!
736
01:05:13,049 --> 01:05:17,169
- He was your responsibility!
- And I locked the door!
737
01:05:17,512 --> 01:05:20,712
Hang him from his balls!
738
01:05:35,947 --> 01:05:37,467
Elric?
739
01:06:39,259 --> 01:06:42,819
It's the first barbarians.
740
01:06:51,104 --> 01:06:52,984
Wow.
741
01:06:58,361 --> 01:07:00,601
Hello.
742
01:07:00,864 --> 01:07:05,704
I need your sword.
I'll take good care of it.
743
01:07:12,417 --> 01:07:14,817
That was easy. Wow.
744
01:07:21,176 --> 01:07:23,496
(exhale)
745
01:07:23,761 --> 01:07:26,361
Yeah. I apologize.
746
01:07:34,105 --> 01:07:36,345
Zandra.
747
01:07:36,607 --> 01:07:38,327
I'm sorry.
748
01:07:38,568 --> 01:07:43,008
Time after time you escaped
my best riders, barbarian.
749
01:07:43,364 --> 01:07:48,404
And then we find you up here, just as
my shield maiden said we would.
750
01:07:52,498 --> 01:07:55,938
The Sword of Crane. The only weapon
in the world that can harm you.
751
01:07:56,252 --> 01:07:57,692
Zandra?
752
01:07:57,920 --> 01:08:02,600
Excellent. You've served me well.
753
01:08:04,510 --> 01:08:08,630
- As you have commanded me, lord.
- What the hell is going on?
754
01:08:08,973 --> 01:08:11,133
(evil laughter)
755
01:08:11,392 --> 01:08:17,432
Lets move! We have to get this
barbarian to my wizard.
756
01:08:34,998 --> 01:08:38,318
I sense,
that Ronal is in great danger.
757
01:08:44,716 --> 01:08:49,196
- Do what you must, wizard.
- With pleasure, Lord.
758
01:08:49,554 --> 01:08:52,394
- Ronal?
- Gorak?
759
01:08:59,314 --> 01:09:01,954
(evil laughter)
760
01:09:03,943 --> 01:09:06,543
- Here he is.
- No, no, no!
761
01:09:12,827 --> 01:09:17,907
Finally! Mighty Zaal,
listen to your humble servant!
762
01:09:18,291 --> 01:09:22,011
The blood has been collected from the Sons of Crane.
763
01:09:22,336 --> 01:09:25,976
Grant us access to your temple!
764
01:09:26,299 --> 01:09:29,899
(evil laughter)
(chanting)
765
01:09:34,640 --> 01:09:37,000
What are you doing?
766
01:09:37,268 --> 01:09:42,668
Only once every ten thousand years, is it
possible for Zaal, ruler of the underworld, -
767
01:09:43,065 --> 01:09:49,905
- to come to our world.
I offer the ultimate sacrifice.
768
01:09:50,364 --> 01:09:55,444
The sons of the warrior, who sent
him from this world.
769
01:09:55,828 --> 01:10:01,428
And as a reward he will bestow upon me
his divine power.
770
01:10:01,834 --> 01:10:05,594
All will bow to me -
771
01:10:05,921 --> 01:10:08,281
- or die!
772
01:10:19,518 --> 01:10:23,918
Shit. We can't go any further
without being noticed.
773
01:11:04,228 --> 01:11:05,948
Ronal!
774
01:11:06,189 --> 01:11:10,469
What the hell's the matter with you?
Come on! Lift your feet!
775
01:11:10,818 --> 01:11:13,378
Come on! Get up the stairs!
776
01:11:14,447 --> 01:11:16,407
Wait here.
777
01:11:20,745 --> 01:11:22,985
- Ronal.
- Alibert!
778
01:11:23,247 --> 01:11:26,207
- What?
- Take it easy.
779
01:11:26,500 --> 01:11:28,820
Keep moving, you wretch.
780
01:11:30,588 --> 01:11:33,388
Ronal, where's the
Sword of Crane?
781
01:11:33,674 --> 01:11:38,714
There's nothing you can do. It's
on the altar below. Get away from here.
782
01:11:56,571 --> 01:12:00,611
I will not be satisfied,
until they scream like the pigs they are!
783
01:12:05,747 --> 01:12:10,067
Mighty Zaal we give to you the
blood from the Sons of Crane.
784
01:12:10,418 --> 01:12:13,498
Let your darkness bless us.
785
01:12:16,258 --> 01:12:19,058
Soon I will be mightier than a god -
786
01:12:19,386 --> 01:12:23,266
- and you shall be my queen
in the after life.
787
01:12:36,319 --> 01:12:38,679
Hey! What are you doing here?
788
01:12:39,614 --> 01:12:42,454
- Uh ...
- Kill him.
789
01:12:42,742 --> 01:12:46,382
No, wait. I am master Alibert.
790
01:12:46,704 --> 01:12:48,984
The bard!
791
01:12:49,248 --> 01:12:54,008
I'm here to play at
the feast ... the occult ritual.
792
01:12:54,378 --> 01:12:56,818
Here's a song you might know.
793
01:12:57,965 --> 01:13:01,125
your muscles
they make me crazy
794
01:13:01,427 --> 01:13:04,667
on the dance floor
you can see it
795
01:13:04,972 --> 01:13:07,852
your skull charm
it makes me hot
796
01:13:08,142 --> 01:13:12,262
little cuddles
sweet treasure
797
01:13:14,190 --> 01:13:17,230
- Shut up, that's crap.
- Oh!
798
01:13:17,526 --> 01:13:20,686
- Later.
- Come back, you little shit!
799
01:13:24,533 --> 01:13:28,133
Let the Chosen One step forward!
800
01:13:40,882 --> 01:13:43,442
- Hey, Ronal.
- The Sword of Crane.
801
01:13:43,719 --> 01:13:46,439
- I'll get you free.
- We must liberate the others.
802
01:13:46,722 --> 01:13:50,242
- I'm hurrying as fast as I can.
- What the hell?
803
01:13:57,691 --> 01:14:01,171
Drop it, pip-squeak.
You don't have a chance.
804
01:14:01,486 --> 01:14:04,406
Come on. Give me your best shot.
805
01:14:11,746 --> 01:14:14,266
Very nice. It was really ...
806
01:14:20,630 --> 01:14:23,710
- What the hell?
- Sorry.
807
01:14:24,008 --> 01:14:33,088
What?
808
01:14:41,067 --> 01:14:43,947
I've totally been
looking forward to this!
809
01:14:51,911 --> 01:14:53,911
Oh yeah!
810
01:15:01,420 --> 01:15:03,620
- Kill them.
- But ...
811
01:15:03,881 --> 01:15:06,121
- That's an order!
- Zandra!
812
01:15:06,383 --> 01:15:11,103
You belong to me, shield maiden!
Don't forget.
813
01:15:11,472 --> 01:15:13,752
Yes, my Lord.
814
01:15:22,316 --> 01:15:25,196
- Ronal.
- You don't have to do this.
815
01:15:25,485 --> 01:15:29,605
Volcazar has defeated me in a duel.
It is my destiny.
816
01:15:41,376 --> 01:15:44,016
Zandra, it's me.
817
01:15:44,296 --> 01:15:48,216
This is completely ridiculous.
Is this really your destiny -
818
01:15:48,550 --> 01:15:51,430
- to kill the only one,
who loves you, to death, -
819
01:15:51,719 --> 01:15:55,919
- just because some maniac
has beaten you in a fight?
820
01:16:01,187 --> 01:16:03,147
Watch out!
821
01:16:03,940 --> 01:16:05,940
Ronal!
822
01:16:08,069 --> 01:16:09,509
Zandra.
823
01:16:09,737 --> 01:16:11,377
(roaring)
824
01:16:18,621 --> 01:16:20,701
Let me go!
825
01:16:27,838 --> 01:16:31,558
Lord, drink it up,
before it's too late.
826
01:16:34,386 --> 01:16:37,546
Clever Lord. Drink it all up.
827
01:16:42,311 --> 01:16:44,591
Oh, shit.
828
01:16:48,734 --> 01:16:51,494
Die!
829
01:16:54,573 --> 01:16:56,173
No!
830
01:16:56,408 --> 01:16:58,408
(evil laughter)
831
01:17:21,308 --> 01:17:24,788
The darkness must be awakened in Metalonia.
832
01:17:25,103 --> 01:17:29,903
The sound of screams
must rise to the sky.
833
01:17:30,275 --> 01:17:34,075
All must bow to me -
834
01:17:34,404 --> 01:17:37,004
- or die!
835
01:17:37,907 --> 01:17:39,947
(screams)
836
01:17:54,674 --> 01:17:56,794
Fuck!
837
01:18:01,180 --> 01:18:05,100
The Epic of Crane! "Crane drew his proud sword
and drove with all his force -
838
01:18:05,434 --> 01:18:09,274
- the blade deep in Zaal
and Zaal's skull burst."
839
01:18:09,605 --> 01:18:13,925
You have to strike him in the forehead.
It is his weak point, man!
840
01:18:17,113 --> 01:18:19,353
That's impossible!
841
01:18:25,412 --> 01:18:29,172
There's nothing you can do here.
Save yourself!
842
01:18:29,541 --> 01:18:32,661
- What?
- This is no place for you.
843
01:18:32,961 --> 01:18:34,561
Run!
844
01:18:34,797 --> 01:18:38,757
No. I'm done
running away.
845
01:18:43,263 --> 01:18:46,103
Now you better behave yourself.
846
01:18:50,020 --> 01:18:52,940
Yes, do it! Stab him in the forehead!
847
01:18:56,109 --> 01:18:58,629
- In the forehead.
- What do you think I'm trying to do?
848
01:18:58,904 --> 01:19:02,624
I'll crush you like a bug!
849
01:19:11,041 --> 01:19:13,241
He's fucking dead.
850
01:19:13,501 --> 01:19:15,341
Oh, damn!
851
01:19:19,674 --> 01:19:23,754
May my aim be sharp as a hawk's
and as perfect as the great breast.
852
01:19:33,521 --> 01:19:36,001
Stand still!
853
01:19:45,575 --> 01:19:47,375
No!
854
01:19:49,078 --> 01:19:51,038
Now I have you!
855
01:19:53,499 --> 01:19:55,259
Eat lute, you bitch!
856
01:20:19,149 --> 01:20:21,509
No, no. No!
857
01:20:30,202 --> 01:20:36,482
- Zandra!
- My queen! Kill these fleas.
858
01:20:45,383 --> 01:20:51,023
What are you doing? Your honor commands
you to serve me!
859
01:20:51,431 --> 01:20:53,871
No! No more!
860
01:20:55,310 --> 01:20:58,190
Then die!
861
01:21:07,447 --> 01:21:09,007
Zandra!
862
01:21:09,240 --> 01:21:13,960
Okay, guys, let's show them
how barbarians really fight!
863
01:21:20,752 --> 01:21:22,432
Gorak!
864
01:21:27,633 --> 01:21:30,033
- Come on, guys!
- Muscles!
865
01:21:35,266 --> 01:21:39,226
I am invincible!
866
01:21:52,032 --> 01:21:55,192
- What?
- This one's for Uncle Gundar!
867
01:21:55,494 --> 01:21:58,334
(cry of pain)
868
01:21:59,748 --> 01:22:01,428
Uh?
869
01:22:04,044 --> 01:22:06,044
(evil laughter)
870
01:22:24,147 --> 01:22:28,027
Holy shit.
My g-string is so high up my ass.
871
01:22:29,361 --> 01:22:31,241
Ronal?
872
01:22:36,868 --> 01:22:38,348
Ronal!
873
01:22:43,124 --> 01:22:44,924
Oh no.
874
01:22:59,349 --> 01:23:03,589
Here lies Ronal.
The greatest barbarian of us all.
875
01:23:20,328 --> 01:23:23,088
(gasps and coughs)
876
01:23:27,626 --> 01:23:31,586
- What happened?
- Damn, he lives, man!
877
01:23:35,050 --> 01:23:38,130
I sense great love.
878
01:23:39,096 --> 01:23:40,936
It's so beautiful.
879
01:23:44,977 --> 01:23:48,257
I haven't challenged you
to a duel, right?
880
01:23:48,605 --> 01:23:50,045
You ...
881
01:23:50,274 --> 01:23:54,154
You have already
conquered my heart, Ronal.
882
01:23:57,197 --> 01:23:59,157
Now it becomes cheesy.
883
01:23:59,408 --> 01:24:03,248
It's time for ale and lager,
ale and lager.
884
01:24:03,578 --> 01:24:06,538
Ale and lager, ale and lager.
885
01:24:10,836 --> 01:24:12,756
(vomiting sounds)
886
01:24:13,630 --> 01:24:15,670
You wanna see something sick?
887
01:24:15,924 --> 01:24:17,724
Wow!
888
01:24:19,886 --> 01:24:21,566
Cool.
889
01:24:21,805 --> 01:24:26,205
- Oh, that's good.
- I sense much tension in your muscles.
890
01:24:26,559 --> 01:24:29,759
I've been tied up on
a cross all week.
891
01:24:30,063 --> 01:24:33,983
Just shut up, man.
I want to say something important.
892
01:24:35,818 --> 01:24:39,378
To Ronal,
the thirstiest barbarian in the world.
893
01:24:40,990 --> 01:24:42,910
Cheers!
894
01:24:43,159 --> 01:24:47,839
- Why the hell aren't you drinking?
- Fucking barbarians, man.
895
01:25:00,500 --> 01:25:12,053
Ronal the Barbarian
896
01:25:12,220 --> 01:25:18,226
oh, he was a weak boy
lacked a pair of balls
897
01:25:18,393 --> 01:25:24,316
he wasn't pierced at all
898
01:25:24,483 --> 01:25:30,530
oh, he was a geek boy
with a chest so small
899
01:25:45,879 --> 01:25:48,840
big balls
hairy balls
900
01:25:49,007 --> 01:25:51,885
hard balls
hot babes
901
01:25:52,052 --> 01:25:55,013
hairy babes
yummy babes
902
01:25:55,180 --> 01:25:59,059
yummy balls
and oily muscles too
903
01:26:04,439 --> 01:26:20,831
Ronal the Barbarian
he rules
904
01:26:27,879 --> 01:26:30,632
big balls
hairy balls
905
01:26:30,799 --> 01:26:33,593
hard balls
hot babes
906
01:26:33,760 --> 01:26:36,471
hairy babes
yummy babes
907
01:26:36,638 --> 01:26:41,268
yummy balls
and oily muscles too
908
01:27:01,079 --> 01:27:07,461
we'll keep on fighting
muscles are shining
909
01:27:07,627 --> 01:27:12,757
we are the champions
910
01:27:14,176 --> 01:27:20,724
thunder and lightning
excess of lightning
911
01:27:20,891 --> 01:27:26,813
fighting with balls
in thongs
912
01:27:27,606 --> 01:27:33,945
we are together
all dressed in leather
913
01:27:34,112 --> 01:27:40,577
all bits are wet
and we're perfectly tan
914
01:27:40,744 --> 01:27:44,456
we have pierced our nipples
915
01:28:41,263 --> 01:28:58,447
Ronal the Barbarian
he rules
68341
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