Original subtitles

Go!

♪ T-E-E-N ♪

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S ♪

♪ Teen Titans, let's go ♪

♪ Teen Titans, go ♪

Hold it right there, Calculator.

Well, well, the Teen Titans.

Why are you all laughing?

I'm sorry. I know we're supposed to keep it together and everything,

but that outfit is ridiculous.

Yeah, man, you can't put on a bunch of school supplies,

and expect us to take you serious.

Well, you should, because I can compute complex algorithms,

in the blink of an eye using this solar powered super suit.

So let me get this straight.

You built yourself a super suit that only works during the day?

Listen, I don't have to take this.

I have an evil plan to get back to.

Well, your plan stops here.

Now, hand over the stolen tech.

Don't make us take you down, dude.

Ha! I'd like to say you try.

I can calculate your every move.

Oh, yeah?

Then calculate this.

Calculating acceleration.

Calculate this!

Calculating angle of attack.

Eat magic fist.

Calculating velocity.

Argh!

Ooh. My bad.

Ha! Too easy.

Oh, yeah. Then let's see if you can dodge these heat seeking missiles.

Calculating trajectory.

Oh, mans. We can'ts even touch this guy.

That's because only math can defeat him.

No problem. We got this.

Okay. So if he's traveling at 13 miles per hour,

and we're traveling at 15 miles per hour,

at which point do our fists hit his face?

Hmm. One, two... Hold on.

I'm going to need a pen and paper.

Hook me up with some of that loose leaf too, mama.

Come on, Titans, Hurry it up.

We are going as fast as we can, Robin.

Okay. Just gotta double check our work and got it!

Oh, no, he got away.

Listen up, Titans.

If we're going to stop The Calculator,

we need to become better at math than he is.

But how is we supposed to do that?

The dude is literally a calculator.

It's simple.

Today, I'm going to be teaching you a new, faster method,

for doing mathematics, known as Common Core math.

You are teaching us the belly math, Robin?

We don't needs to learn that, fool.

'Cause we already knows we got them good six packs going on.

Check it.

The wash board, the cheese grater,

the packs on packs on packs on packs.

No, Titans.

Common Core math doesn't have to do with your core muscles.

It's a method of learning that will help you all become better at math.

Wait a minute. I know what Robin's talking about now.

He's trying to teach us that math

the government made up just to confuse people.

What?

Is that the true?

Yes, it's true that Common Core math

was developed by government educators

and has been given a bad reputation from parents,

who are confused by its methodology.

But I assure you, Titans, you can handle it!

After all, six-year-olds can understand Common Core math.

And to demonstrate how easy it is, we shall start with the most

basic Common Core lesson, the ten frame.

Ten frame? Like in bowling?

Bowling is the best, yo.

This isn't about bowling!

The ten frame is simply a two by five rectangular grid,

into which circular counters are drawn to demonstrate

numbers less than or equal to ten.

Man, that's some straight up gobbledygook right there.

I too, am confused by the gooking of the gobbley.

So instead of us using numbers we're supposed to draw circles?

I thoughts we were doing math, not arts and crafts.

Don't get hung up on the circles.

They're only there to represent number values,

and can be whatever shape you want them to be.

Oh, really?

Then can we change them to your baby hands?

Ha, ha, ha.

No, you cannot change them into baby hands.

But you said they could be whatevers we wants.

And we choose the baby hands.

Baby hands! Baby hands! Baby hands!

Stop! Gimme that!

We're just having some fun, Robin.

Common Core math isn't supposed to be fun.

It's supposed to be boring and educational.

Now, let's forget about the ten frame and move on.

But we still haven't learned nothing, yo.

That's okay, because I guarantee you'll understand

this next Common Core lesson, which uses line segments as anchors.

Anchors? Like the ones the pirates use?

Ooh! Robin is teaching us pirate math.

Yeah, boy!

Argh! Let's use our pirate math to divide up this treasure.

Here you go, lads. One for you.

One for you and one for me.

Avast, the two doubloons do not equal the shimmery necklace.

Argh! Are you trying to cheat us, matey?

Nay! I would never even dream of cheating the likes of you.

Cheating you, he is!

We shall run you through for this!

Stop, stop stop!

This lesson doesn't involve filthy pirates!

These anchors are simply used to break big numbers,

into smaller number bonds, to simplify the problem.

Well, that problem doesn't look simplified to me.

Indeed, it looks the way more complicated.

Yeah, man, you can't be adding in a bunch of numbers all willy nilly like that.

It's super confusing, yo.

Look, the point of this lesson is to help your brain visualize number relationships.

Relationships?

So you want us to date numbers now?

I would consider dating the two but not the three.

Girlfriend!

For the three is the odd number.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Listen, Titans!

If you want to stop The Calculator,

you need to take this Common Core math stuff seriously.

But we are taking it the seriously, Robin.

Then why aren't you guys getting this?

Because this math is overly complicated and way too confusing.

All them parents was right.

No, they're not.

Six-year-olds can understand Common Core math.

Wait a second.

Ah, that's it.

- What's it? - You guys just need six-year-old brains.

- I can make that happen. - Great.

Oh! I can talk like the goat.

The baa! The baa!

Look, look, look, look how fast I can run!

Check out my dance! Check out my dance! Hey!

What? I'm not touching you.

I'm not touching you.

See? I'm not touching you.

Ooh, look an apple.

High energy, short attention spans.

Yup. You definitely have the minds of six-year-olds.

Now let's see if you can learn Common Core math.

Congratulations, Titans!

You now have the one thing no parent in America has.

A basic understanding of Common Core math.

And it's turned our six-year-old brains into calcumalators.

Quick, Quick. Give me the math problem.

Okay, Star.

What's the square root of 2,130?

It's 46.15192304.

That's right!

Uh-oh. Crime alert.

What is it? What is it?

The Calculator has just been spotted downtown.

Titans go.

Your number is up, Calculator.

Oh, good.

You Titans have arrived just in time for the unveiling of my master plan.

Behold.

The Earth Brake.

With this device,

I will stop the Earth from rotating,

causing the sun to shine endlessly on Jump City,

making my solar powered suit unstoppable!

But if you do that, temperatures will skyrocket like...

And half of the Earth will be the covered in the darkness.

Those are calculated risks I'm willing to take.

Well, you can forget it.

Please. You zeroes couldn't stop me before.

What makes you think you can stop me now?

Because now we got some good six-year-old brains.

Which have totally made us hard core for the Common Core.

Titans, go! Calculate our attack.

Okay, okay, first I'll measure the wind speed so I can distract him with a spit ball.

Ooh, and then I shall calculate his reaction time,

so I can blind him with my stickers.

Oh, oh, oh, then on, then on, then on my turn,

I'll figure out his distance so I can hit him with some water balloons.

And... And I'll determine the force I need,

to trip him with my toy car.

Finally, I'll finish him off with a perfectly timed flying kick.

Ha! Nice try.

But you're going to have to do better than that to defeat me.

Those moves weren't meant to defeat you.

No, they were only meant to get you in the shade,

to power down your solar suit.

Ha. What?

No!

So what do we do with him now?

Oh, I know.

Look, look.

He's a bozo

Cut that out!

It's not funny.