Original subtitles

[bird crowing]

[cat meowing, mouse squeaking]

[elephant trumpeting, lion roaring]

♪ Go!

[opening theme playing]

♪ T-E-E-N

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S

♪ Teen Titans, let's go

♪ Teen Titans, go

[crowd screaming]

[stomping]

[growls]

[glass shattering]

[horn tooting]

-[engine revving] -[tires screeching]

Hmm.

Titans, go!

[growling]

Nothing's working.

Don't worry, Mama! I've gots this!

[engine revving]

[Beast Boy screams]

[explosion]

[exclaiming in grief]

Oh, my baby!

My sweet sweet baby!

My baby is gone.

Gone. [sobs inconsolably]

Looks like it's totaled.

And we just paid it off the yesterday.

Ugh, I was really looking forward

to not having a monthly car payment.

This is... Great!

We finally have an excuse to buy a new car.

You're excited to go car shopping?

Uh, car shopping is the worst, fool.

I would rather be the creed bird that eats the food bits

from the teeth of the clarg beast.

[grunting]

I know that car shopping may seem like a huge hassle,

but that's only because you've never gone

with a master negotiator like myself before.

Trust me, this is going to be fun.

Uh, let's check that new cars out, baby!

[shudders] Look at all the new styles.

That one is triumphant.

-Oh, this one's fresh. -Shiny.

Whoa-whoa-whoa-wha?

Who said anything about a new car?

You did.

A new car is a terrible idea.

Today, we'll be looking at

pre-owned vehicles!

You want us to buy a used car?

Pre-owned!

We ain't buying no old dirty car that stinks like butt.

Yes, we are.

In the first year alone,

the value of a new car can drop by more than 20 percent.

[screams] I don't wants to lose those good percentages!

A pre-owned vehicle,

however, will do a much better job

of retaining value over time making the butt smell worth it.

[all] Wow.

So, we're agreed?

Fine, we'll buy an old sticky car.

Let's just go to the dealership and get this over with.

Not yet! You aren't prepared to face

the dealer.

I think we can handle a car salesman, dude.

Uh! Wrong!

Car dealers are the sneakiest snakes that ever crawled from the gutter.

-Harsh. -Chill, bro.

Ain't they just men and women trying to do their jobs?

They are the enemy.

That's why you need to learn the three important rules of car buying.

Number one, never allow the dealer to size you up.

[man screams]

I see. You do not want the dealer man to know

that you are the very short.

You gonna wear some stilts or something?

It has nothing to do with height!

"Sizing you up" is the process

by which the car dealer asks questions

in order to find out how much money they can squeeze out of you.

Never answer any questions.

I shall do the zips of the lips.

Rule number two,

never accept the dealer's initial offer.

They can always go lower.

Never agree to buy a car

until you can smell the desperation.

We know what desperation smells like.

[sniffs]

We smell it on you all of the time.

Rule three,

and this is the most important.

Never be afraid to...

walk away.

I aint's afraid to walk away from nothings Watch this.

[door shuts]

Wow.

[gasps] He has done it.

He has used his legs and feet to make the exit.

That is some good walking away right there.

It looks like you're all ready to enter the capital world of auto sales.

Titans, go!

Buy a pre-owned vehicle!

[Robin] Remember the rules, Titans.

And never forget, car dealers are crooks.

That's just a stereotype, Robin.

Hello, Titans.

[all] Dr. Light.

I should have known a villain like you

would turn to this kind of criminal enterprise.

Oh, no, no, no. You've got it all wrong.

I gave up my life of crime

to focus on my true passion of selling pre-owned vehicles.

I've always been drawn to the romanticism of it.

Oh, that is the wonderful news, Dr. Light.

Plus, it allows me to atone for my villainous deeds

like donating all of my profits to underprivileged children.

That is just incredibly kind.

Oh, ho-ho, yeah.

So kind, so lovely...

It's all lies!

He's just trying to trick us

into overpaying for our car.

Just give him a chance, Robin.

So, you're in the market for a vehicle.

How long have you been looking?

-Well, kind sir, we-- -Don't answer that.

We're not going to let you "size us up."

Yeah, we're not going to tell you how bad we need a car.

You will never know

that we can do the paying of the cash monies up the front.

And under no circumstances will I tell you

that Robin is the adopted ward of billionaire Bruce Wayne.

Uh, will you excuse us for a moment?

[all grunting]

-Why? -Ow, man.

What you do that for?

You just let Dr. Light size us up.

Now he knows how much money he can squeeze out of us.

I'm not going to squeeze you, Robin.

I believe in building long-term customer relationships.

Today, you're to get a fair deal on a great car.

I promise.

We'll see about that.

I have a plethora of cars to choose from.

It is my goal to find the right one for you.

This vehicle was previously owned by Catwoman.

[meows]

I'll buy it! I'll buy it! I'll buy of the kitty car.

[boinks]

[horn meows]

[lights flicking]

Smells like a litter box. Pass.

Here, we have the Mobius chair.

It can teleport you anywhere on the planet

in a matter of seconds.

[gasps]

[all gasping]

Check it, real Italian pizza.

[munches]

Hmm, does it have a cup holder?

Um, no.

Hard pass.

Here is the Batmobile

from the movie Batman & Robin.

Oh, snap.

I wants to be a Batmans.

I's George Clooney.

[Beast Boy screams]

Pass.

-Come on, man. -There has to be at least one car you're interested in.

What's that one over there?

This is the Joker Mobile.

Well, I don't think it'll meet your needs.

Like I care what you think!

-[horn tooting] -Roomy interiors, leather seats,

and this clown motif reminds me of growing up in the circus.

Let's take it for a test drive.

-[engine revving] -Hey!

[tires screeching]

Won't you please slow down, Robin?

Of course not. Now, tell me about the features.

This is a laughing gas launcher.

[laughing hysterically]

Here is the oil slick switch

which is good if you're being chased by a vigilante.

[tires screeching]

[crashes]

With also a fun novelty horn.

-[honking] -Ooh, what about that one?

I'm afraid that feature is no longer available on this model.

Of course it isn't. What a scam.

-[cars screeches to a halt] -[Dr. Light screams]

Uh, I think we're ready to talk numbers.

Wonderful. I'll get the paperwork.

The joy! We are finally getting the car that is not the new.

Here you are.

[huffs] Is this a joke?

The price is more than fair.

In fact, I'm losing money on this deal.

Under no circumstances am I buying this car for that amount.

Come on, dude.

Just the pay the man so we can get out of here.

Are you forgetting rule two?

"Never accept the initial offer."

Bad news, Dr. Light,

you're going to have to go lower.

I'm sorry, Robin, I really can't.

Then you'll have to give me more car for this price.

And how do you expect me to do that?

By giving me all of the features

including this one.

I can't give you that feature. It's unsafe.

You're just trying to rip me off.

Just let it go, bro.

Never! He's lying about this feature being safe and I'll prove it.

[beeping]

[maniacal laughing]

[crash]

He's going to destroy my dealership!

That car is unstoppable.

We are the doomed.

[Robin] No, we're not.

Remember the third rule of buying a car, Titans.

"Never be afraid to walk away."

[crying hysterically]

I'm ruined.

Well, done, Titans.

I'd call today a resounding success.

We still need a car though.

Don't worry. We'll come back tomorrow when he's willing to negotiate.

[Dr. Light sobbing]

[chuckles nervously]