Original subtitles

[bird crowing]

[cat meowing, mouse squeaking]

[elephant trumpeting, lion roaring]

♪ Go!

[opening theme playing]

♪ T-E-E-N

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S

♪ Teen Titans, let's go

♪ Teen Titans, go!

[announcer] The freezing North Pole,

here we find stately Kringle Manor, home to billionaire

Kris Kringle and his youthful ward,

Dick Grayson.

I've done it, Kris, the perfect gift wrap.

Is this a joke?

You botched it with your bumbling butter fingers.

Look at the sloppy angle of the tape.

Aw, shucks, is anyone going to notice?

It's the thought that counts.

It's like I always tell you,

a lack of precision today

becomes a life in the dumpster tomorrow.

Gosh, that's an important reminder, Kris.

I'll get it right next time.

[glass shatters]

Holy holidays, it's a gift for you, Kris.

Open it.

Not so fast, you naive nitwit.

Don't you think it's highly unusual

for me to receive a Christmas gift?

Jolly good thinking. We ought to be careful opening it.

A lump of coal.

Who would give Kris Kringle coal as a gift?

It's not a gift, Dick, it's a message.

There's only one criminal who would leave a message like this.

[both] The Coal Miner!

But it's just coal. What's the message?

Well, what do we know about coal?

It's one of the cleanest forms of energy.

No, my worthless ward,

you sound like a sock puppet mouthpiece for those fat cats

in the coal industry.

Uh, gee whiz, Santa.

Who do we know that receives coal on Christmas?

-Naughty kids! -Precisely.

And who are the naughtiest kids we know?

You mean--

[both] The Teen Titans!

We've got to get to your garbage friends before the Coal Miner does.

[beeps]

To the Claus canes!

Reindeers to power.

[engine revving]

[sleigh bells ringing]

[sleigh bells ringing]

[announcer] Meanwhile, back at Titans Tower,

the unsuspecting Teen Titans are merrily exchanging gifts

at their annual Kris Kringle party.

Ah! Vegan cheese!

[sniffs] Ah, and it be that good stinky kind toos.

Aw, I like cheese.

Oh, thanks, Kris Kringles, whosever yous is.

Hehe, it was the me!

I was the secret giver of the most thoughtful gift.

Your turn, Starfire.

Hmm, I wish to steal the stinky cheese!

-[Starfire laughing wickedly] -[Beast Boy] You can't steals my cheese!

You can'ts.

Sorry, Beastie, that's how the Kris Kringle game works.

Oh, yeah? Well, I wants yours then.

Not my choo-choo.

Sorry, bro, rules be rules.

That's right, and since it's my turn,

I'll take that!

[gasps] How the could you?

Sorry, but I love a good cheese stink.

[inhaling deeply]

Oh, yeah!

[all yelling]

[laughing wickedly]

Coal is the only gift, you naughty kids deserve.

Seize them!

-[thumping] -[Titans yell]

-[Titans grunt] -Oh, goody!

A new choo-choo for my collection!

I do love choo-choos.

Hey, that choo-choo belongs to me, fool!

-It was mine, first. -[glass shatters]

What in the meaning of Christmas is going on here?

Well, if it isn't Santa and his ineffectual elf sidekick!

Actually, I'm not an elf.

That's right, if you want to insult him,

call him the boy blunder or a complete waste of space.

'Tis the season to hand over those garbage kids, Coal Miner.

Never! I won't stop, until I kidnap

all the naughty children of the world

and put them to work in my coal mines.

Are you still upset that I never brought you a present

when you were a little boy?

All I got from you was coal.

I hated it as a child!

But now I can see its value as the ultimate form

of clean energy!

There's no such thing as clean coal!

Renewable energy is the future, you greedy grinch!

We'll see about that!

[whistles]

[glass shatters]

Gosh, that cankerous coal creep got away.

Not without leaving behind another clue.

A lump of coal?

Yes, and what do we know about coal?

-Didn't we already go over this? -[slaps]

What do we know about coal!

Uh, kids on the naughty list get it?

No!

Golly, let's see.

Coal is the world's largest source of energy

for the production of electricity, with the unfortunate

by-product of releasing harmful carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.

However, Carbon Captures Storage technology or CCS

is becoming more advanced,

and soon the myth of clean coal will become reality.

That's it, my boy, well done.

Really, Santa?

No, you jerk kid,

and stop with your coal industry propaganda.

What I was going for was diamonds.

Diamonds come from coal.

Holy non sequiturs.

The Coal Miner must be hiding out at that Diamond Exchange.

Ah, gee whiz, Santa,

using the front door would have been a lot easier.

Nonsense, you lazy lug nut,

physical exercise is good for self-discipline.

Ugh, right again, Santa.

Besides, we must strive to keep the element of surprise on our side.

Gosh, it's as empty as my stocking on Christmas morning.

[Coal Miner] Or is it?

[cackles loudly]

-Coal Miner. -We walked right into his trap.

As you know, if you apply enough pressure to coal,

it turns into diamonds.

I've been wondering if the same is true for you.

A devilish theory, even for a coal brain crux such as yourself.

Let's find out.

Maybe I'll find a spot for you two in my jewelry collection.

[both yelling]

[both grunt]

[door jarring]

[alarm blaring]

Oh, looks like a tight squeeze!

[announcer] Will the Coal Miner have the last laugh?

Will the Titans be forced to work in the coal mines forever?

Is this the end for our Christmas crime fighting duo?

Tune in next time to find out.

-[tires screech] -Ooh, the suspense is ruining my Christmas spirit.

Let's just find out now.

[effort grunts]

Gosh, Santa, it looks like we'll be hard pressed

to figure a way out of this one.

Cut the puns, you gibbering goof.

You still have that nutcracker I gave you last Christmas?

Of course, Santa. I always carry it in my shorts.

Hurry up and throw it in the gears,

you grotesque goblin.

-[clanking] -[metal banging]

Well done, Robin.

Do you mean it, Santa?

Of course not.

A nutcracker, really? [chuckles]

After all this time, you still find new ways to disappoint me.

Look, it must be another clue.

What do we know about coal?

It's given to kids on the naughty list?

-Of course not. -Diamonds?

Don't be a fool.

Gosh, Santa, I don't have a clue.

It means the Coal Miner is headed for the coal mine, you dunce.

Oh, my gosh, you are thick!

Holy pickaxes, it's the Titans. Don't worry,

we'll have you out of here in two shakes of a reindeer's tail.

[bell ringing]

It has taken you the long enough to save the us.

Yeah, I gots that good black lung now.

[coughing and choking]

Come on, guys, we should be grateful to Santa and his elf.

I am not an elf!

Come on, dude, only an elf would wear tiny shorts like that.

[chuckles]

They're right, you know, now let's get them out

of here, before we miss Christmas!

So, Santa, there won't be a Christmas for you this year,

or ever again!

Behold my super choo-choo,

powered by clean coal, of course.

There's no such thing as clean coal.

[cackles loudly]

The harmful emissions are routed into the Carbon Captured Storage.

No harmful emissions will run to the atmosphere.

[cackles]

All aboard!

[horn hooting]

What do we do, Santa?

We can't defeat the power of clean coal!

[Coal Miner laughing wickedly]

I've got it. We have to fight coal with coal.

I don't understand.

What a surprise.

[bell dings]

[Robin grunts]

[thudding]

No, no!

You'll overload the carbon capture storage tank.

I've got your Christmas present, Coal Miner.

[yelling]

No!

[crying]

My choo-choo.

-[thuds] -Like I said,

there's no such thing as clean coal.

[sizzling]

Thanks to us, the Titans are home safe and sound.

Be quiet and eat your cookies.

Look, it's the Santa signal.

Looks like we're the only ones who won't get a holiday this year.

To the Claus canes.

[beeps]

[announcer] Tune in next Christmas to see if Santa

and Robin can save the holiday again.