All language subtitles for Black Mirror (2011) - S01E03 - The Entire History of You (1080p BluRay x265 Silence)_track3_[eng]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:21,924 Liam Foxwell, welcome. 2 00:00:21,936 --> 00:00:23,235 Thank you. 3 00:00:23,249 --> 00:00:24,746 OK, little speech time. 4 00:00:24,803 --> 00:00:27,461 I've mentioned this to everyone about their appraisals, 5 00:00:27,585 --> 00:00:31,185 and I just want you to know that this isn't a witch-hunt for the deadwood. 6 00:00:31,245 --> 00:00:32,817 It is much more of a... 7 00:00:34,269 --> 00:00:36,251 treasure hunt for the gold? 8 00:00:37,106 --> 00:00:38,416 Shit sinks. 9 00:00:38,799 --> 00:00:40,188 But also, cream floats. 10 00:00:40,312 --> 00:00:41,940 Yes, yes, I see that. 11 00:00:41,984 --> 00:00:44,739 A new the area we're getting lots of play in ... 12 00:00:44,752 --> 00:00:47,150 and your office could be at the centre for ... 13 00:00:47,174 --> 00:00:50,568 is litigation in retrospective parenting cases. 14 00:00:50,693 --> 00:00:51,848 Retrospective... 15 00:00:51,873 --> 00:00:54,659 Bobby sues Mum and Dad for insufficient attention 16 00:00:54,671 --> 00:00:58,449 leading to lack of confidence, leading to damages against earnings. 17 00:00:58,474 --> 00:01:02,342 Right, and we're OK, the firm's OK with that, ethically? 18 00:01:02,466 --> 00:01:03,853 And morally? 19 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:08,560 Yep. 20 00:01:08,572 --> 00:01:09,601 Mm-hmm. 21 00:01:09,614 --> 00:01:10,654 Sure. 22 00:01:11,058 --> 00:01:12,456 Yeah, yeah, right. 23 00:01:13,047 --> 00:01:14,108 Are you? 24 00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:16,137 Totally, yeah. 25 00:01:17,817 --> 00:01:19,166 Yes. 26 00:01:20,373 --> 00:01:21,966 OK, Liam, look, 27 00:01:21,967 --> 00:01:25,584 so if we invite you to stay with the firm in the new environment, 28 00:01:26,349 --> 00:01:28,748 what we'd have you do is pull an exhaustive redo 29 00:01:28,749 --> 00:01:30,808 with personnel, maybe... next week. 30 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:34,240 Oh, well, I was ready to do a big redo right now, but... 31 00:01:34,365 --> 00:01:36,407 No, it's fine, next week's fine. 32 00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:40,231 But I have to ask you this ... they're not going to hit anything 33 00:01:40,256 --> 00:01:42,185 to freak us out, are they? 34 00:01:42,806 --> 00:01:45,044 There's no major deletions this quarter? 35 00:01:45,068 --> 00:01:48,011 No, no, everything's well within... parameters. 36 00:01:48,882 --> 00:01:51,761 Great, OK, Liam, this has been really great. 37 00:01:51,887 --> 00:01:52,925 Um... 38 00:01:53,457 --> 00:01:58,551 Look, really hope to... look forward to seeing you again. 39 00:02:03,162 --> 00:02:04,464 OK, thank you. 40 00:02:18,194 --> 00:02:19,659 Airport, please. 41 00:02:27,007 --> 00:02:28,478 Live... 42 00:02:28,602 --> 00:02:29,739 breathe... 43 00:02:29,863 --> 00:02:30,876 smell. 44 00:02:31,939 --> 00:02:33,299 Full-spectrum memory. 45 00:02:33,324 --> 00:02:36,340 You can get a willow grain upgrade for less than the price 46 00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:39,721 of a daily cup of coffee, and three decades of backup for free. 47 00:02:39,745 --> 00:02:42,676 In-store ingrain procedure with local anaesthetic 48 00:02:42,701 --> 00:02:44,469 and you're good to go. 49 00:02:44,487 --> 00:02:47,096 'Because memory is for living. 50 00:03:07,374 --> 00:03:11,111 OK, great, this has been really great, Liam, 51 00:03:11,112 --> 00:03:15,089 we really hope to... look forward to seeing you again. 52 00:03:17,875 --> 00:03:21,851 we really hope to... look forward to seeing you again. 53 00:03:32,789 --> 00:03:33,837 Sorry! 54 00:03:47,970 --> 00:03:49,342 Mr Foxwell. 55 00:03:49,466 --> 00:03:53,110 Could you just rewind me your last 24 hours for me, please? 56 00:04:02,066 --> 00:04:05,196 Great, and back that up for me times 64 for the week. 57 00:04:11,479 --> 00:04:12,804 That's great. 58 00:04:12,805 --> 00:04:14,520 Enjoy your flight, Mr Foxwell. 59 00:04:18,336 --> 00:04:20,626 I'm not being funny, right, but look at that. 60 00:04:21,777 --> 00:04:23,175 Look at what? 61 00:04:23,186 --> 00:04:24,476 That! 62 00:04:24,477 --> 00:04:26,999 Frayed carpet, there, you see? 63 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,298 Seriously? 64 00:04:28,322 --> 00:04:29,903 Yes, seriously! 65 00:04:30,351 --> 00:04:32,054 This is a five-star suite. 66 00:04:33,141 --> 00:04:35,293 I pay good money to have perfect details. 67 00:04:35,719 --> 00:04:39,373 Now I've got that shitty carpet for the rest of my life. 68 00:04:39,374 --> 00:04:41,443 Only if you keep looking at it, mate. 69 00:04:41,838 --> 00:04:43,332 Oh, thanks, Jonas! 70 00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:44,792 Fuck off. 71 00:04:45,942 --> 00:04:50,366 All right, now, you thought the carpet was bad, have a look at this. 72 00:04:54,821 --> 00:04:58,343 You've met Lucy, my wife, at the Dublin wedding? 73 00:04:58,468 --> 00:05:00,348 Oh, that's right, yes, hi, Liam. 74 00:05:00,731 --> 00:05:02,289 Hi... Hi again. 75 00:05:06,911 --> 00:05:08,222 Hello. 76 00:05:08,346 --> 00:05:10,745 Lucy ... Liam, we met at the Dublin wedding. 77 00:05:11,017 --> 00:05:12,306 Liam! 78 00:05:12,307 --> 00:05:13,605 Oh, great. 79 00:05:13,902 --> 00:05:15,169 Liam, yes. 80 00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:16,919 Come in. Thank you. 81 00:05:18,897 --> 00:05:21,349 - Great to see you again. - Yeah, you too. 82 00:05:23,245 --> 00:05:24,755 Where's Fi been hiding you? 83 00:05:24,756 --> 00:05:26,662 Oh, you know, in our house. 84 00:05:27,697 --> 00:05:30,863 We didn't know ... well, she didn't know if you would make it. 85 00:05:30,876 --> 00:05:32,706 It was over quicker than I thought. 86 00:05:33,617 --> 00:05:35,435 Oh, sorry, hello. 87 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:38,386 Let's get you a drink. Um, beer OK? 88 00:05:38,511 --> 00:05:40,081 Lovely, thank you. 89 00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:46,208 Everyone's through there, so I'll be in in a minute, OK? 90 00:05:46,233 --> 00:05:47,320 OK, thank you. 91 00:05:58,553 --> 00:05:59,556 Hi. 92 00:06:01,192 --> 00:06:04,154 You're back early, then, I didn't think you'd make it. 93 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:07,814 Yeah, I didn't stay over and I caught an early flight back, so... 94 00:06:07,938 --> 00:06:09,215 - Hi. - Hello. 95 00:06:10,569 --> 00:06:12,121 So, how was the appraisal? 96 00:06:12,143 --> 00:06:15,664 Well, they said they'd let me do a redo sometime next week, so... 97 00:06:15,923 --> 00:06:17,382 Oh. But good? 98 00:06:17,841 --> 00:06:18,848 Well... 99 00:06:19,601 --> 00:06:20,901 - Later? - Later. 100 00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:21,916 OK. 101 00:06:22,183 --> 00:06:25,026 - How's Jody? - At home, Gina's babysitting. 102 00:06:25,150 --> 00:06:26,450 Hey. 103 00:06:26,574 --> 00:06:27,711 Jonas, this is... 104 00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:29,721 - Liam ... - Jonas. 105 00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:31,733 Dude, it's really nice to meet you. 106 00:06:31,734 --> 00:06:33,920 - You all right? - Good, thank you. 107 00:06:33,921 --> 00:06:35,583 - And you know Jeff? - Yes. 108 00:06:35,607 --> 00:06:38,697 Yeah, you remember meeting Jeff, because he'd have shown you, 109 00:06:38,710 --> 00:06:41,675 I don't know, a redo of the side of his fridge. 110 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,679 Yeah, yeah, yeah, piss off, Jonas. 111 00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:45,002 - Hello. - Hello. 112 00:06:45,003 --> 00:06:47,142 Your wife's being very mean to me tonight. 113 00:06:47,167 --> 00:06:48,357 Oh, well she's like that. 114 00:06:48,358 --> 00:06:49,757 Yeah, tell me about it. 115 00:06:50,228 --> 00:06:53,244 - You all right for a drink? - I'm fine, thank you, Jonas. 116 00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:57,431 Lynn, come and meet Liam, he's, um... 117 00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:01,722 A soon-to-be unemployed/unemployable lawyer. 118 00:07:04,352 --> 00:07:05,685 And Jeff. 119 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,009 Jeff and Fi... 120 00:07:08,245 --> 00:07:11,466 used to run the parties down the Fraser Road with Paul and me. 121 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:13,242 Mad old days. 122 00:07:14,273 --> 00:07:15,918 Before we started up the Kings. 123 00:07:17,314 --> 00:07:18,822 So, yeah... 124 00:07:20,696 --> 00:07:24,588 So, Liam, what was it you had, an assessment? 125 00:07:24,904 --> 00:07:26,206 Appraisal. 126 00:07:26,207 --> 00:07:27,476 How'd it go? 127 00:07:27,477 --> 00:07:28,866 Good. 128 00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:33,079 Well, it was a disaster, but you know, I don't know. 129 00:07:33,096 --> 00:07:34,429 - Hard to gauge? - Yeah 130 00:07:34,737 --> 00:07:36,015 Let's have a look. 131 00:07:36,094 --> 00:07:38,218 Redo, we can appraise the appraisal. 132 00:07:39,434 --> 00:07:40,741 Yeah, great. 133 00:07:40,865 --> 00:07:42,863 Throw it up there and we can grade you. 134 00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:44,989 - Come on. - Um... 135 00:07:45,014 --> 00:07:47,104 It could be fun, we could, um... 136 00:07:47,122 --> 00:07:48,148 vote! 137 00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:50,294 - Paul? - Yeah? 138 00:07:50,372 --> 00:07:53,386 I work in recruitment, so it might be quite useful for you. 139 00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:53,988 Right, OK. 140 00:07:53,989 --> 00:07:56,648 Liam's redoing his appraisal so we can give him marks. 141 00:07:56,772 --> 00:07:58,757 - Notes. - Pointers, you know. 142 00:07:58,775 --> 00:08:01,027 - I think Liam would probably... - Yes, do you know what... 143 00:08:01,028 --> 00:08:04,173 Guys, no, come on, seriously, that's not cool, 144 00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,635 I mean Liam's obviously uncomfortable, 145 00:08:06,636 --> 00:08:08,901 so let's just drop it, yeah? 146 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,230 Have a cool time. 147 00:08:13,084 --> 00:08:14,390 Time to eat! 148 00:08:14,391 --> 00:08:15,829 Oh, it's ready. 149 00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:22,052 Thank you so much for inviting us this evening. 150 00:08:22,076 --> 00:08:24,884 It's been too long, too long. 151 00:08:25,384 --> 00:08:26,718 Fi. 152 00:08:28,832 --> 00:08:31,483 I haven't met him before, have I? Jonas, is it? 153 00:08:31,607 --> 00:08:33,204 He's one of the old crowd. 154 00:08:33,443 --> 00:08:34,786 I think I said. 155 00:08:36,217 --> 00:08:37,716 - You OK? - Yeah, yeah. 156 00:08:37,722 --> 00:08:41,000 - You know, if you're not in the mood, we can go. - No, no, I'm fine. 157 00:08:41,024 --> 00:08:42,027 Sure? 158 00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:03,008 Hey! 159 00:09:06,009 --> 00:09:08,832 Yeah! I brought enough for others to share. 160 00:09:08,834 --> 00:09:09,987 Thank you. 161 00:09:09,988 --> 00:09:12,729 I've, er, been cooking a lot since the break-up. 162 00:09:12,730 --> 00:09:14,237 Jonas has had a tough one. 163 00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:16,704 Was it bad? 164 00:09:16,705 --> 00:09:18,932 Er, yeah. 165 00:09:18,965 --> 00:09:21,750 Yeah, erm, we were in the middle of planning is all 166 00:09:21,775 --> 00:09:25,905 and I suddenly realised that the less the relationship means 167 00:09:25,923 --> 00:09:27,913 the more you spend on the wedding, you know! 168 00:09:28,005 --> 00:09:31,304 You actually start obsessing over the tiniest little details, 169 00:09:31,305 --> 00:09:34,304 like the thickness of the wedding invitation paper 170 00:09:34,305 --> 00:09:38,555 because, I mean, God knows you need something to fucking talk about! 171 00:09:38,605 --> 00:09:41,580 So, everybody, this is Helen. 172 00:09:42,054 --> 00:09:43,941 Helen, Jonas. 173 00:09:44,066 --> 00:09:45,455 - Hi. - Hi. 174 00:09:45,761 --> 00:09:47,529 And everyone! 175 00:09:48,103 --> 00:09:50,188 - Hi! - Help yourself. 176 00:09:50,214 --> 00:09:53,096 Jonas was just explaining why relationships are a sham. 177 00:09:53,097 --> 00:09:54,686 Are they? Shit! 178 00:09:55,434 --> 00:09:57,772 They're like going to the theatre, OK? 179 00:09:57,896 --> 00:10:02,005 You pay loads to go and ultimately you are wasting your entire night, 180 00:10:02,006 --> 00:10:05,107 so, when someone asks you, "Did you have a good time?", 181 00:10:05,108 --> 00:10:09,085 you both say, "Yeah! Yeah, it was great." 182 00:10:09,103 --> 00:10:11,221 The problem is the more that you pay 183 00:10:11,229 --> 00:10:15,408 and the longer it goes on, the more you're, "Oh, yeah, we loved it!", 184 00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:19,187 you know, "We love being together and never fucking anyone else" 185 00:10:19,188 --> 00:10:21,254 "and only just having one other person" 186 00:10:21,257 --> 00:10:26,541 "to share our real thoughts with for our entire lives, yeah, it's great!" 187 00:10:26,564 --> 00:10:28,646 Would you say you loved her, though? 188 00:10:31,814 --> 00:10:36,474 I just think we just really fancied each other and that was what it was. 189 00:10:36,486 --> 00:10:37,904 You know what it's like early on. 190 00:10:37,921 --> 00:10:40,029 You know, we were just, I don't know, 191 00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:42,176 we were just two tools in the tool shed 192 00:10:42,177 --> 00:10:43,886 that just fit together really fucking well. 193 00:10:43,887 --> 00:10:48,496 I mean, still, by the end, I'd be like, "Go on, honey, you go up," 194 00:10:48,497 --> 00:10:50,687 "I'm just going to watch a little bit more of the news" 195 00:10:50,688 --> 00:10:53,272 and I'd find myself, you know, watching redos of, like, 196 00:10:53,274 --> 00:10:55,380 hot times in earlier relationships! 197 00:10:55,381 --> 00:10:56,686 Easy! 198 00:10:57,403 --> 00:11:00,083 I'm just saying, there's a beautiful woman upstairs, 199 00:11:00,107 --> 00:11:01,471 you know, waiting to have sex with me. 200 00:11:01,472 --> 00:11:02,726 What, right now? 201 00:11:06,215 --> 00:11:09,341 She's upstairs, you know, waiting to have sex with me 202 00:11:09,342 --> 00:11:13,319 and I'm sat downstairs watching redos of, like, some hot times 203 00:11:13,596 --> 00:11:17,169 with some hot girl that I just picked up in some place 204 00:11:17,170 --> 00:11:21,065 and I'm fucking pulling myself off. I mean, seriously? 205 00:11:23,772 --> 00:11:25,103 Oh, come on... 206 00:11:25,649 --> 00:11:27,756 Come on, guys. 207 00:11:27,757 --> 00:11:29,506 I mean, we all scroll through the Grain 208 00:11:29,507 --> 00:11:31,097 rifling through our greatest hits 209 00:11:31,098 --> 00:11:34,155 for a little bit of filth now and then, surely? 210 00:11:34,279 --> 00:11:35,573 Not me. 211 00:11:37,638 --> 00:11:39,592 Helen doesn't have a Grain! 212 00:11:40,677 --> 00:11:42,468 - Oh, wow! - Wow! 213 00:11:42,738 --> 00:11:44,122 No shit! 214 00:11:44,382 --> 00:11:46,409 Was that a political thing? 215 00:11:46,410 --> 00:11:48,916 No, no, I was gouged about 12 months ago. 216 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,381 Jesus, was that painful? 217 00:11:51,382 --> 00:11:53,608 Total agony. 218 00:11:53,609 --> 00:11:56,392 But on the plus of that, I don't remember it that clearly. 219 00:11:56,393 --> 00:11:57,904 There's a scar on here. 220 00:11:58,557 --> 00:12:00,325 Yeah, can I, er...? 221 00:12:12,422 --> 00:12:13,654 Yeah, that feels quite nice. 222 00:12:13,655 --> 00:12:15,204 Yeah, that feels quite nice. 223 00:12:15,205 --> 00:12:17,990 Yeah, no brain damage, clearly! 224 00:12:17,991 --> 00:12:21,229 Well, my sight held on fine, so... 225 00:12:21,353 --> 00:12:23,041 So, who took it then? 226 00:12:23,042 --> 00:12:25,347 Stolen to order, as far as they could tell, 227 00:12:25,348 --> 00:12:28,688 probably to some millionaire Chinese perve. 228 00:12:28,689 --> 00:12:30,279 Really?! Yeah. 229 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:31,950 Is that for real? 230 00:12:31,951 --> 00:12:34,017 Yeah, and none of it was encrypted, so... 231 00:12:34,018 --> 00:12:36,006 So, they saw the lot! 232 00:12:36,007 --> 00:12:39,257 The thing is, after I was gouged I didn't have one for a few days 233 00:12:39,381 --> 00:12:41,228 and then just kind of, liked it. 234 00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:46,427 It's cool. 235 00:12:46,428 --> 00:12:47,501 That's cool. 236 00:12:47,502 --> 00:12:49,649 I mean, because more people are... 237 00:12:49,650 --> 00:12:52,313 I mean, now, right? Like, going Grainless? 238 00:12:52,314 --> 00:12:53,745 I believe it's huge with hookers. 239 00:12:53,746 --> 00:12:55,416 I mean, no offence! 240 00:12:56,529 --> 00:12:59,234 No, no, it's OK. Sure, I... 241 00:12:59,235 --> 00:13:01,439 Well, I'm pretty boring. One man is a time. 242 00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:02,589 Boo! 243 00:13:03,924 --> 00:13:06,352 Serial monogamist. 244 00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:08,161 I'm a serial monogamist. 245 00:13:08,701 --> 00:13:10,887 I'm staying faithful to my cornflakes right now! 246 00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:17,968 Well, I think it's an interesting choice, going Grainless. 247 00:13:17,969 --> 00:13:19,121 It's a brave choice. 248 00:13:19,122 --> 00:13:20,868 I'm sorry, but I... 249 00:13:23,338 --> 00:13:24,847 I couldn't do it. 250 00:13:24,848 --> 00:13:26,323 Uh-huh. 251 00:13:28,866 --> 00:13:32,842 OK, I was going to play some redos from the Fraser O days. 252 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:34,273 Yay! 253 00:13:34,274 --> 00:13:36,661 Stuff from last night, depressing and fun. 254 00:13:37,393 --> 00:13:40,533 You know half the organic memories you have a junk, 255 00:13:40,831 --> 00:13:42,145 just not trustworthy. 256 00:13:42,163 --> 00:13:43,899 Colleen works in Grain development. 257 00:13:43,900 --> 00:13:46,959 With half the population you can implant false memories, 258 00:13:46,971 --> 00:13:49,295 just by asking leading questions in therapy. 259 00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:51,804 You can make people remember getting lost 260 00:13:51,817 --> 00:13:53,683 in shopping malls they never visited, 261 00:13:53,684 --> 00:13:56,679 getting bothered by paedophile babysitters they never had. 262 00:13:58,583 --> 00:14:00,650 I'm just happier now. 263 00:14:04,124 --> 00:14:07,684 'OK, great, Liam, this has been, this has been really great, erm... 264 00:14:08,374 --> 00:14:11,373 'we really hope to look forward to seeing you again.' 265 00:14:11,423 --> 00:14:13,223 He looks forward to seeing you again, that's good. 266 00:14:13,323 --> 00:14:14,823 "Hopes" to look forward. 267 00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:18,573 'We really hope to look forward to seeing you again.' 268 00:14:19,223 --> 00:14:20,322 It's phoney. 269 00:14:22,072 --> 00:14:23,872 Hang on. Pause it. 270 00:14:24,771 --> 00:14:26,071 Now backup. 271 00:14:26,722 --> 00:14:27,972 Zoom in there. 272 00:14:28,672 --> 00:14:29,921 Come on, that's a tick. 273 00:14:30,021 --> 00:14:31,870 That could be a V or an L. 274 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,532 - It's a tick! - Or the start of the swastika. 275 00:14:33,542 --> 00:14:36,929 It's probably the start of the swastika, they were such pricks! 276 00:14:42,820 --> 00:14:45,669 - Did you have fun with the old gang? - Yeah. 277 00:14:47,570 --> 00:14:49,169 D'you speak to that Jonas much? 278 00:14:49,170 --> 00:14:51,519 No, no, not really. 279 00:14:55,368 --> 00:14:56,919 He's a bit of a knob, ain't he? 280 00:14:57,268 --> 00:14:59,968 Bit of a dick? Jonas. 281 00:15:00,218 --> 00:15:02,917 Pulling himself off to his own relationship theories. 282 00:15:03,017 --> 00:15:06,268 Oh, it must be such a drag, Jonas, putting it about! 283 00:15:06,817 --> 00:15:09,067 And when he protected me from those arseholes, 284 00:15:09,517 --> 00:15:10,327 "Hey, come on, guys," 285 00:15:10,328 --> 00:15:13,966 "it's really not cool to redo another man's appraisals, dudes." 286 00:15:14,166 --> 00:15:15,566 Then why invite him over? 287 00:15:15,666 --> 00:15:16,666 I like him. 288 00:15:23,161 --> 00:15:25,545 You wanted me to invite him. 289 00:15:25,546 --> 00:15:27,217 I didn't say anything. 290 00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:29,762 You were laughing at everything he said. 291 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:32,268 You invited him! 292 00:15:32,269 --> 00:15:34,593 It was obvious I didn't want him to come. 293 00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:39,984 'Wow, it's only, it's early to call it a night.' 294 00:15:39,986 --> 00:15:41,690 'Do fancy a quick one down the pub?' 295 00:15:41,701 --> 00:15:43,007 'Oh, we've got to get back, 296 00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:45,552 'rescue Jodie from the paedophile babysitter! 297 00:15:47,117 --> 00:15:48,415 'Yeah.' 298 00:15:50,326 --> 00:15:54,142 'But why don't you come back to ours, for a nightcap if you want?' 299 00:15:54,143 --> 00:15:55,177 See? 300 00:15:55,178 --> 00:15:59,410 It was obvious I didn't want him to come, I was being polite to a moron. 301 00:15:59,534 --> 00:16:02,363 If you really don't want to come, you can get rid of him. 302 00:16:14,659 --> 00:16:15,510 Hey, hey! 303 00:16:15,582 --> 00:16:16,639 Hey. 304 00:16:18,261 --> 00:16:20,447 Well, actually, what time is it? 305 00:16:20,486 --> 00:16:21,956 It's midnight. 306 00:16:21,973 --> 00:16:24,040 Shit, it's quite late, time's gone on. 307 00:16:24,058 --> 00:16:26,046 Yeah, time does that. 308 00:16:26,202 --> 00:16:27,275 15 minutes. 309 00:16:27,276 --> 00:16:28,429 Yeah. 310 00:16:28,430 --> 00:16:31,439 But we've got the babysitter inside, so... 311 00:16:31,563 --> 00:16:33,400 So, is that new info? 312 00:16:33,401 --> 00:16:37,378 No, it's just that we, I mean, we thought, right, Fi? 313 00:16:37,657 --> 00:16:39,446 Yeah. Yeah. 314 00:16:39,447 --> 00:16:40,798 OK, no, I get it. 315 00:16:40,799 --> 00:16:42,906 No, it's just that, actually, it turns out we're tired 316 00:16:42,907 --> 00:16:45,929 and I guess we forgot, but now we've remembered, so... 317 00:16:45,930 --> 00:16:46,963 Sorry. 318 00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:47,799 No, it's fine, really. 319 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:48,833 I'm sorry. 320 00:16:48,834 --> 00:16:51,378 Oh, it's cool, no worries. 321 00:16:51,379 --> 00:16:53,247 I've got a back-up plan, so... 322 00:16:53,248 --> 00:16:54,996 Oh, cool, well, we vote the back-up. 323 00:16:54,997 --> 00:16:56,429 Yeah, I will do. 324 00:16:56,430 --> 00:16:58,178 Er, see you later, Fi. 325 00:16:58,179 --> 00:16:59,332 It was good to meet you, man. 326 00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:00,338 Yeah. 327 00:17:00,765 --> 00:17:01,798 Nice one. 328 00:17:01,799 --> 00:17:03,210 Brilliant. Brilliant. 329 00:17:05,379 --> 00:17:06,681 OK, cool. 330 00:17:10,504 --> 00:17:11,814 Good to meet you, man. 331 00:17:11,939 --> 00:17:12,944 Yeah. 332 00:17:15,270 --> 00:17:18,980 Listen, Gina, it's a 40-minute wait for a cab, but if you want, 333 00:17:19,101 --> 00:17:21,261 I have the bed made up in my office. 334 00:17:21,386 --> 00:17:22,694 Er... OK, thanks, Fi. 335 00:17:24,352 --> 00:17:28,327 Hey, there's just, you know, use anything. There's T-shirts and... 336 00:17:28,451 --> 00:17:30,324 Yeah, thanks, I'll show myself out. 337 00:17:30,336 --> 00:17:31,349 All right, night. 338 00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:32,383 Night, guys. 339 00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:33,690 Night, Gina. 340 00:17:40,896 --> 00:17:42,262 Thank you. 341 00:17:43,739 --> 00:17:44,839 'Bye-bye. 342 00:17:44,863 --> 00:17:46,742 'OK. 343 00:17:46,743 --> 00:17:48,997 'Love you, love you.' 344 00:18:08,692 --> 00:18:10,649 Was he a big part of the gang? 345 00:18:10,650 --> 00:18:12,396 Who? Jonas? 346 00:18:14,030 --> 00:18:15,904 I don't know, yeah? 347 00:18:17,115 --> 00:18:19,995 Let me guess, he'd spent his time oozing round the girls, 348 00:18:19,996 --> 00:18:21,069 offering backrubs. 349 00:18:21,070 --> 00:18:22,341 Not really. 350 00:18:22,342 --> 00:18:24,079 Circling for an orifice. 351 00:18:26,281 --> 00:18:27,751 Was he always that oily or... 352 00:18:27,752 --> 00:18:29,051 OK, look. 353 00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:32,404 What? 354 00:18:32,405 --> 00:18:33,707 It's nothing, but... 355 00:18:36,462 --> 00:18:40,439 You may have noticed a bit of an atmosphere because... 356 00:18:42,140 --> 00:18:45,649 me and Jonas, years ago, had a bit of a thing. 357 00:18:45,650 --> 00:18:47,797 You had a thing with oily dude man? 358 00:18:47,798 --> 00:18:48,871 It was just a little thing 359 00:18:48,872 --> 00:18:50,381 and I didn't even know you back then, so... 360 00:18:50,382 --> 00:18:52,029 You slept with oily dude man? 361 00:18:52,895 --> 00:18:54,160 That's hilarious! 362 00:18:54,161 --> 00:18:56,825 We've all got our skeletons, how about you and Gemma? 363 00:18:56,826 --> 00:18:58,416 What, I told you about Gemma. 364 00:18:58,417 --> 00:18:59,752 Gemma was a nutcase... 365 00:19:00,753 --> 00:19:02,773 But you never mentioned Jonas. 366 00:19:02,798 --> 00:19:05,651 I did, I told you I hooked up with someone in Marrakech. 367 00:19:05,660 --> 00:19:06,841 Jonas is Mr Marrakesh?! 368 00:19:06,849 --> 00:19:08,081 It was a stupid thing... 369 00:19:08,090 --> 00:19:12,098 I thought Mr Marrakech was some sort of super cool... 370 00:19:12,099 --> 00:19:13,132 Not him. 371 00:19:13,133 --> 00:19:15,280 It was years ago and... 372 00:19:15,581 --> 00:19:17,966 Are you embarrassed by that? 373 00:19:17,967 --> 00:19:19,932 Cos it's embarrassing. 374 00:19:20,577 --> 00:19:23,703 I'm sorry, but, Christ, are you not embarrassed? 375 00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,176 It was years ago. 376 00:19:25,177 --> 00:19:26,926 But you dated him for a month? 377 00:19:26,927 --> 00:19:28,118 That's what I said. 378 00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:32,095 Cos when you told me about Mr Marrakech, it was a week. 379 00:19:32,891 --> 00:19:33,942 No, I didn't. 380 00:19:35,001 --> 00:19:36,067 Pah! 381 00:19:39,684 --> 00:19:40,886 'What about you?' 382 00:19:40,887 --> 00:19:43,152 I don't want to see our first time right now. 383 00:19:43,153 --> 00:19:44,227 Shh, you're about to talk. 384 00:19:44,228 --> 00:19:47,368 'I went away and had a little thing that did my head in for a while 385 00:19:47,369 --> 00:19:50,471 'with this, sort of... 386 00:19:50,472 --> 00:19:54,011 '..this, sort of, headfuck that I met in Marrakech.' 387 00:19:54,012 --> 00:19:55,323 'Mr Marrakech?' 388 00:19:55,324 --> 00:19:56,636 ' Yeah.' 389 00:19:56,637 --> 00:20:00,016 'I'm imagining a chillum and a big knob.' 390 00:20:00,017 --> 00:20:03,994 ' No, it was like dormouse.' 391 00:20:04,075 --> 00:20:06,897 'Big deal, big heart-breaker?' 392 00:20:06,898 --> 00:20:09,323 'No, it was just a week. 393 00:20:09,324 --> 00:20:11,630 'It was a weird week.' 394 00:20:11,931 --> 00:20:13,482 So, a weird week or a month? 395 00:20:13,643 --> 00:20:15,631 The point is, it wasn't a big deal. 396 00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:17,482 Well, it was big enough to do your head in. 397 00:20:18,057 --> 00:20:21,432 Jonas, King Dormouse-Dick of Marrakech did your head in! 398 00:20:24,183 --> 00:20:26,649 That was a nice night, used to be. 399 00:20:26,650 --> 00:20:28,136 You're getting obsessed. 400 00:20:28,996 --> 00:20:30,069 I'm not. 401 00:20:30,070 --> 00:20:32,534 We had all this with Dan, I don't want you going like that again. 402 00:20:32,535 --> 00:20:35,319 He had little creepy beady eyes and he was always... 403 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,307 What? Acting like he was interested? 404 00:20:37,308 --> 00:20:39,455 And you know what, I think he probably did fancy me 405 00:20:39,456 --> 00:20:41,523 and actually he wasn't completely hideous, 406 00:20:41,524 --> 00:20:45,440 so in another life I don't know, but nothing happened! 407 00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:49,120 And Jonas... 408 00:20:49,121 --> 00:20:53,377 he's an old fling. So what? Don't go all fucked up! 409 00:20:53,457 --> 00:20:54,729 What, I'm fucked up, am I? 410 00:20:54,730 --> 00:20:55,961 No, I mean, just... 411 00:20:55,962 --> 00:20:59,939 No, no, no, that's brilliant, sometimes you're a bitch. 412 00:21:03,289 --> 00:21:04,996 I didn't mean that. 413 00:21:06,462 --> 00:21:07,734 'You're a bitch!' 414 00:21:07,735 --> 00:21:09,881 I'd like you to erase that. 415 00:21:09,882 --> 00:21:10,955 'You're a bitch!' 416 00:21:10,956 --> 00:21:12,824 Also, "sometimes". 417 00:21:12,825 --> 00:21:15,982 You can't just edit off the word, "sometimes"! 418 00:21:57,013 --> 00:22:01,331 I'm sorry, Fi, I know I go a bit weird and wonky sometimes. 419 00:22:11,053 --> 00:22:13,082 - I love you, you know? - I know. 420 00:23:30,702 --> 00:23:33,646 '..in a toolshed that just fit together really fucking well, 421 00:23:33,647 --> 00:23:36,946 'but still by the end I'd be like, "Go, on, you go to bed, honey, 422 00:23:36,947 --> 00:23:39,133 '"I'm just going to catch a little bit more of the news," 423 00:23:39,134 --> 00:23:42,953 'and then I'd find myself, you know, watching redos of hot times 424 00:23:42,954 --> 00:23:45,013 'in earlier relationships. 425 00:23:45,620 --> 00:23:49,835 'I've got a beautiful woman upstairs waiting to have sex with me. 426 00:23:50,947 --> 00:23:54,287 'And I'd find myself, you know, watching redos of hot times 427 00:23:54,288 --> 00:23:56,396 'in earlier relationships.' 428 00:23:56,397 --> 00:23:57,692 'Easy!' 429 00:24:03,287 --> 00:24:06,053 'Lip read reconstruction enabled. 430 00:24:06,693 --> 00:24:09,682 - 'Hey, it's good to see you. - 'Good to see you, too. 431 00:24:09,807 --> 00:24:12,376 'I was nervous when I heard you were going to be here. 432 00:24:12,377 --> 00:24:14,045 'It's weird, isn't it?' 433 00:24:16,665 --> 00:24:18,380 - Morning. - Gina, over here. 434 00:24:20,083 --> 00:24:22,439 Come here a second. I just want your opinion. 435 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,051 It's just a silly game. 436 00:24:28,896 --> 00:24:30,194 Sit down. 437 00:24:30,529 --> 00:24:31,915 Answer this. 438 00:24:33,486 --> 00:24:35,365 I'm a serial monogamist. 439 00:24:36,214 --> 00:24:38,905 I'm staying faithful to my corn flakes right now. 440 00:24:42,606 --> 00:24:44,695 Now, is that funny? 441 00:24:45,561 --> 00:24:48,898 There's no need to be nice, the man's a prick. 442 00:24:49,803 --> 00:24:53,541 Is that funny, in your opinion? 443 00:24:53,958 --> 00:24:55,327 Well... 444 00:24:55,330 --> 00:24:57,050 I'm a serial monogamist. 445 00:24:57,964 --> 00:25:00,382 I'm staying faithful to my corn flakes right now. 446 00:25:02,442 --> 00:25:03,672 - No? - No 447 00:25:03,796 --> 00:25:05,473 - I don't know. - You do. 448 00:25:06,114 --> 00:25:07,493 Morning. 449 00:25:07,617 --> 00:25:08,897 What's this? 450 00:25:08,898 --> 00:25:11,290 I'm just getting Gina's opinion on something. 451 00:25:11,315 --> 00:25:12,977 I'm a serial monogamist. 452 00:25:13,460 --> 00:25:16,053 I'm staying faithful to my corn flakes right now. 453 00:25:18,164 --> 00:25:21,023 I was just wondering because you found it funny, but it isn't, 454 00:25:21,148 --> 00:25:22,457 and Gina agrees. 455 00:25:22,582 --> 00:25:24,029 I don't really want to get involved. 456 00:25:24,042 --> 00:25:26,155 Let me get you a cab. My dad's on his way. 457 00:25:26,156 --> 00:25:27,627 Just one other thing. 458 00:25:28,805 --> 00:25:33,442 We both want him to come back, but who wants him to come back more? 459 00:25:33,566 --> 00:25:36,693 Off the top of your head, who wants him to come back more? 460 00:25:36,817 --> 00:25:38,365 OK, well, bye. 461 00:25:38,489 --> 00:25:39,529 Yeah, bye. 462 00:25:40,097 --> 00:25:42,867 Wow, it's early. It's early to call it a night. 463 00:25:42,892 --> 00:25:44,935 Fancy a quick one down the pub? 464 00:25:45,059 --> 00:25:48,033 Got to get back, rescue Jodie from the paedophile baby-sitter. 465 00:25:48,034 --> 00:25:49,224 That's just a... 466 00:25:49,225 --> 00:25:51,297 That's a joke. 467 00:25:51,644 --> 00:25:52,658 Sorry. 468 00:25:53,123 --> 00:25:56,576 Jonas, why don't you come back to ours for a nightcap, if you want? 469 00:25:57,537 --> 00:25:58,815 Yeah. 470 00:26:00,191 --> 00:26:03,764 Now, ignore the joke. Who's more keen for him to come back? 471 00:26:03,787 --> 00:26:05,209 I don't know. 472 00:26:05,211 --> 00:26:06,460 You do know, Gina. 473 00:26:06,687 --> 00:26:08,602 I'm so sorry, he's really hungover. 474 00:26:08,603 --> 00:26:09,989 That's OK. 475 00:26:23,812 --> 00:26:26,340 I'm staying faithful to my corn flakes right now. 476 00:26:28,425 --> 00:26:30,250 That is just objectively not funny. 477 00:26:30,274 --> 00:26:32,238 Anyone would say, "That's not funny." 478 00:26:32,313 --> 00:26:33,980 That was fucking embarrassing. 479 00:26:37,133 --> 00:26:39,638 Whatever you're queuing up, stop it. 480 00:26:39,639 --> 00:26:41,138 Sit down, please. 481 00:26:50,737 --> 00:26:52,087 You see that? 482 00:26:52,727 --> 00:26:54,625 You know Geoff? 483 00:26:54,649 --> 00:26:57,575 Yeah, you remember me and Geoff, because he would have shown you 484 00:26:57,950 --> 00:27:01,553 a re-do of the side of his fridge, something like that. 485 00:27:02,207 --> 00:27:04,256 - Spot the difference. - You're drunk. 486 00:27:04,380 --> 00:27:07,320 I'm the difference. He's the greatest guy in the world 487 00:27:07,321 --> 00:27:09,666 and then I arrived and... you clam. 488 00:27:10,411 --> 00:27:11,711 For clarity. 489 00:27:13,896 --> 00:27:15,752 We're just talking! 490 00:27:16,307 --> 00:27:19,209 But moments later, you're so stiff. 491 00:27:19,334 --> 00:27:20,851 I don't know, a re-do... 492 00:27:20,866 --> 00:27:22,979 You don't know how to stand around him. 493 00:27:22,992 --> 00:27:25,417 Your gauges are all over the place, hot and cold. 494 00:27:25,418 --> 00:27:26,849 This is just stupid! 495 00:27:26,850 --> 00:27:28,921 You can't hide it. Not completely. 496 00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:31,512 See how you look at him. 497 00:27:31,980 --> 00:27:35,758 The less the relationship means, the more you spend on the wedding. 498 00:27:35,759 --> 00:27:39,018 Really, you start obsessing about these tiny little details 499 00:27:39,019 --> 00:27:41,803 like the thickness of the wedding invitation paper. 500 00:27:42,104 --> 00:27:44,808 Now, how you look at me. 501 00:27:44,809 --> 00:27:47,313 I think it's an interesting choice, going grainless. 502 00:27:47,314 --> 00:27:48,665 It's a brave choice. 503 00:27:48,666 --> 00:27:52,166 I'm sorry, but... 504 00:27:52,380 --> 00:27:56,829 Tell me you look at me nice like you look at him. You can't. 505 00:27:57,279 --> 00:27:58,729 And how am I looking at you now, Liam? 506 00:27:58,929 --> 00:28:00,177 How long did you go out with him for? 507 00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:01,808 Does it matter? 508 00:28:06,843 --> 00:28:10,382 You know, half the organic memories you have are junk. 509 00:28:10,383 --> 00:28:13,158 Just not trustworthy. When it comes to little things. 510 00:28:13,183 --> 00:28:14,518 And big ones. 511 00:28:15,274 --> 00:28:16,787 Is that Marrakesh? 512 00:28:18,498 --> 00:28:20,905 Does that look like Marrakesh? 513 00:28:24,623 --> 00:28:25,696 No. 514 00:28:25,697 --> 00:28:27,685 It's not Marrakesh. 515 00:28:27,686 --> 00:28:31,663 So, how long did you go out with him for? 516 00:28:33,851 --> 00:28:36,433 All right, about six months. 517 00:28:39,927 --> 00:28:42,675 So not a week or a month. Six months. 518 00:28:43,007 --> 00:28:45,158 The ever-inflating romance. 519 00:28:45,159 --> 00:28:47,094 You're probably still going out with him. 520 00:28:47,095 --> 00:28:48,683 Why am I on trial here? 521 00:28:49,326 --> 00:28:50,754 What's been going on? 522 00:28:50,755 --> 00:28:52,822 Nothing has been going on. 523 00:28:52,823 --> 00:28:57,231 It was... Christ, you know how it is when you first get with someone 524 00:28:57,232 --> 00:29:00,534 and then previous boyfriends come up. 525 00:29:00,535 --> 00:29:02,814 He was never a boyfriend, he was always a weird week. 526 00:29:02,828 --> 00:29:05,274 I downplayed it. I fudged it, it was... 527 00:29:05,278 --> 00:29:06,144 You lied. 528 00:29:06,156 --> 00:29:09,087 Not everything that isn't true is a lie, Liam. 529 00:29:11,118 --> 00:29:12,669 Hello? 530 00:29:12,670 --> 00:29:15,834 So he was a bigger thing than I made out and, yeah, he's sort of a dick. 531 00:29:15,894 --> 00:29:17,268 Sort of? He's a massive... 532 00:29:17,281 --> 00:29:19,071 I liked him then. 533 00:29:19,072 --> 00:29:22,724 And I don't like him, not like that, not now. 534 00:29:23,965 --> 00:29:26,249 So, just to get this clear. 535 00:29:26,373 --> 00:29:29,154 He fucks you, gets footage for his redo wank file, 536 00:29:29,166 --> 00:29:30,105 but you're still pally. 537 00:29:30,117 --> 00:29:31,082 This is sad! 538 00:29:31,118 --> 00:29:33,088 - Cos if he was... - This is just sad! 539 00:29:33,089 --> 00:29:34,919 He probably sits there and tosses himself 540 00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:36,446 off all over his cashmere blanket. 541 00:29:36,471 --> 00:29:37,707 It was years ago! 542 00:29:38,763 --> 00:29:40,069 Not for him. 543 00:29:41,270 --> 00:29:44,704 I'd find myself watching redos of really hot times 544 00:29:44,717 --> 00:29:46,521 early in relationships. 545 00:29:46,646 --> 00:29:47,787 'Easy.' 546 00:29:48,657 --> 00:29:50,970 Sober up. Make yourself puke. 547 00:29:51,094 --> 00:29:53,633 Whatever, I don't care. Just sort this out. 548 00:29:54,617 --> 00:29:55,687 Fuck. 549 00:29:57,465 --> 00:30:02,919 I'd find myself watching redos of really hot times early in relationships. 550 00:30:02,941 --> 00:30:04,239 Easy. 551 00:30:06,959 --> 00:30:10,538 And I'm downstairs watching some redo of some night 552 00:30:10,539 --> 00:30:13,681 I've picked up somebody else and... 553 00:30:13,682 --> 00:30:17,813 Yeah, nice, Geoff. She's upstairs waiting to have sex with me 554 00:30:18,063 --> 00:30:20,462 and I'm downstairs watching some redo 555 00:30:20,463 --> 00:30:22,863 of some night I've picked up somebody else. 556 00:30:22,913 --> 00:30:23,963 Easy. 557 00:30:24,113 --> 00:30:26,445 And I'm fucking pulling myself off. I'm just saying. 558 00:30:30,201 --> 00:30:31,648 'Green warning. 559 00:30:31,664 --> 00:30:34,393 'Grain assistant suggests you may not be in a suitable 560 00:30:34,394 --> 00:30:37,892 'physical condition for the activity you appear to be engaged in. 561 00:30:37,917 --> 00:30:40,330 'To override, continue at your own risk. 562 00:30:40,454 --> 00:30:43,396 'All health and personal accident insurance is... ' 563 00:30:43,409 --> 00:30:44,731 Thank you. 564 00:31:00,513 --> 00:31:02,341 - 'Who's that?' - It's Liam. 565 00:31:04,247 --> 00:31:05,679 Liam from last night. 566 00:31:06,569 --> 00:31:09,465 'Liam. Is Fi with you?' 567 00:31:09,589 --> 00:31:11,175 She's not, no. 568 00:31:11,856 --> 00:31:14,687 'Sorry, Liam, mate, is there something that you want?' 569 00:31:14,699 --> 00:31:17,097 Yeah, I just want to come in and talk to you. 570 00:31:17,098 --> 00:31:18,296 Can you open the gate? 571 00:31:18,297 --> 00:31:21,771 Yeah, sure. I'll let you in. 572 00:31:21,895 --> 00:31:23,564 Nice one, nice one. 573 00:31:38,461 --> 00:31:40,687 - Hey. - Hey. 574 00:31:40,710 --> 00:31:42,102 What do you want? 575 00:31:42,103 --> 00:31:44,422 I just want to come in for a bit, dude. 576 00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,582 That looks expensive. Is that expensive? 577 00:31:48,599 --> 00:31:50,454 Look, Liam, it's morning, mate. 578 00:31:50,455 --> 00:31:52,719 Fucking hell. Liam. 579 00:31:59,197 --> 00:32:02,770 Jonas, this is a nice place! 580 00:32:05,915 --> 00:32:10,403 Hey. Seriously, man, it's not cool you just walking in like this. 581 00:32:10,418 --> 00:32:12,842 To be honest with you, it's a little bit weird. 582 00:32:12,867 --> 00:32:14,653 Is that a Marrakeshian lamp? 583 00:32:20,783 --> 00:32:23,008 Liam, do I have to call Fi? 584 00:32:23,790 --> 00:32:26,114 Did you guys have a row or something like that? 585 00:32:26,115 --> 00:32:28,006 - Sit down. - No, I'm all right. 586 00:32:28,253 --> 00:32:31,322 Go on, sit down. It's not a bear trap, it's a chair. 587 00:32:36,279 --> 00:32:39,156 Do you want me to bounce this off your fucking head? 588 00:32:44,374 --> 00:32:46,402 I'm joking, Jonas. 589 00:32:46,526 --> 00:32:49,180 Bloody hell, I thought you were supposed to be cool, man. 590 00:32:49,181 --> 00:32:51,924 I thought you were meant to be fucking brilliant. 591 00:32:52,048 --> 00:32:53,748 What's going on? 592 00:32:57,719 --> 00:32:59,042 Yeah, figures. 593 00:32:59,552 --> 00:33:02,105 Get some good stuff for the scrapbook? 594 00:33:03,567 --> 00:33:04,866 I think you should go. 595 00:33:05,212 --> 00:33:06,999 I don't blame you. I would have. 596 00:33:07,829 --> 00:33:09,673 Tell you what, let's have a look. 597 00:33:10,006 --> 00:33:12,566 Go on, chuck it on the screen, don't be shy! 598 00:33:12,861 --> 00:33:14,160 Come on! 599 00:33:14,718 --> 00:33:17,511 I'm fucking joking again, Jonas! 600 00:33:17,795 --> 00:33:21,272 For goodness' sake, you need to grow a sense of humour. 601 00:33:21,506 --> 00:33:23,522 - He's uptight, isn't he? - OK, Liam. 602 00:33:26,531 --> 00:33:28,598 - It's a lovely room, this. - Thank you. 603 00:33:29,772 --> 00:33:32,603 Is this where you masturbate to images of my wife? 604 00:33:33,690 --> 00:33:37,511 - Or do you do it in that room? - OK, Liam, I want you to leave now. 605 00:33:37,635 --> 00:33:40,328 Do you sometimes start in here and then finish in there? 606 00:33:40,329 --> 00:33:42,622 The world's pretty much your oyster, isn't it? 607 00:33:42,634 --> 00:33:44,044 I want you to leave. 608 00:33:49,063 --> 00:33:50,888 Well, that's a pity. 609 00:33:50,952 --> 00:33:53,570 - Come on, mate. - All right, now, what are you doing? 610 00:33:53,580 --> 00:33:55,875 Don't do that. Come on now! 611 00:33:56,253 --> 00:33:58,360 - What are you doing? - What are you doing? 612 00:33:58,363 --> 00:34:02,081 - Jesus! Get out! - Stand up, Jonas, come on! 613 00:34:39,955 --> 00:34:40,955 Hey. 614 00:34:41,962 --> 00:34:43,108 What do you want? 615 00:34:49,699 --> 00:34:51,145 Don't do that. 616 00:34:51,169 --> 00:34:52,596 Come on, Danny! 617 00:34:52,620 --> 00:34:54,376 - 'What are you doing? - 'What are you doing? 618 00:34:54,388 --> 00:34:57,595 'Jesus! Get out, you fucking prick. 619 00:34:57,619 --> 00:34:58,979 'Tell you what... ' 620 00:35:02,804 --> 00:35:04,339 Stop it! 621 00:35:06,763 --> 00:35:08,609 I tell you what you're going to do. 622 00:35:08,610 --> 00:35:11,275 You're going to get every bit of Fion you've got in there 623 00:35:11,276 --> 00:35:14,297 and you're going to select it all and you're going to wipe it! 624 00:35:14,298 --> 00:35:17,008 Hello, police, I'm witnessing a serious assault at five... 625 00:35:17,836 --> 00:35:18,974 'Wipe it! 626 00:35:19,098 --> 00:35:20,180 'Fuck off. 627 00:35:20,181 --> 00:35:22,292 'I don't have a brain chip to show you.' 628 00:35:22,293 --> 00:35:24,439 This is a bottle, right? 629 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:27,643 Either you wipe it or I will fucking gouge you myself. 630 00:35:27,662 --> 00:35:28,682 Jesus! 631 00:35:28,707 --> 00:35:29,733 OK. 632 00:35:30,184 --> 00:35:31,815 Just do what he says. 633 00:35:32,792 --> 00:35:35,154 Not on your eye, in there. 634 00:35:35,179 --> 00:35:36,688 On there! 635 00:35:36,689 --> 00:35:37,942 He's doing it! 636 00:35:40,924 --> 00:35:43,000 Now, delete it all. The lot! 637 00:35:43,913 --> 00:35:48,031 Or I will crack your skull and I will gouge your fucking neck. 638 00:35:48,155 --> 00:35:49,462 I'm doing it. 639 00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:00,237 Stay away from my house! 640 00:36:11,730 --> 00:36:14,115 'Now, delete it all. The lot! 641 00:36:14,515 --> 00:36:18,843 'Or I will crack your skull and I will gouge your fucking neck. 642 00:36:18,868 --> 00:36:20,240 'I'm doing it.' 643 00:37:07,011 --> 00:37:08,310 Liam? 644 00:37:09,656 --> 00:37:11,005 Where did you go? 645 00:37:15,998 --> 00:37:17,334 What happened? 646 00:37:18,571 --> 00:37:19,723 Liam, what happened? 647 00:37:19,724 --> 00:37:21,483 Did you use a condom or not? 648 00:37:25,212 --> 00:37:26,224 Just say. 649 00:37:28,633 --> 00:37:30,422 Liam, whatever you think... 650 00:37:30,423 --> 00:37:31,748 Am I Jodie's father? 651 00:37:32,889 --> 00:37:34,359 - Liam! - Am I? 652 00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:35,433 Yes, of course. 653 00:37:35,858 --> 00:37:38,297 - You sure about that? - Yes! 654 00:37:38,956 --> 00:37:40,354 That's nice. 655 00:37:44,821 --> 00:37:46,934 I always liked that picture, didn't you? 656 00:37:47,614 --> 00:37:49,259 It's why I bought it for you. 657 00:37:50,112 --> 00:37:52,893 I never liked it. Thought it was pretentious shit. 658 00:38:06,525 --> 00:38:08,108 'I'll tell you what you're going to do. 659 00:38:08,133 --> 00:38:10,116 'You're going to get every bit of Fion... ' 660 00:38:10,117 --> 00:38:11,468 ' Christ, what have you done? 661 00:38:11,469 --> 00:38:12,542 'Select it all... ' 662 00:38:12,543 --> 00:38:14,013 We're getting to the good bit. 663 00:38:14,014 --> 00:38:17,059 'Hello, police, I'm witnessing a serious assault at... ' 664 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:26,145 'Now, delete it all. The lot! 665 00:38:26,446 --> 00:38:31,048 'Or I will crack your skull and I will gouge your fucking neck.' 666 00:38:40,547 --> 00:38:42,253 18 months ago in this room. 667 00:38:53,711 --> 00:38:55,814 You know when you suspect something, 668 00:38:56,299 --> 00:38:58,998 it's always better when it turns out to be true. 669 00:39:00,930 --> 00:39:04,428 It's like I've had a bad tooth for years and I'm just finally 670 00:39:04,429 --> 00:39:08,026 getting my tongue in there and I'm digging out all the rotten shit. 671 00:39:10,316 --> 00:39:11,786 That's not what it looks like. 672 00:39:11,787 --> 00:39:13,576 Oh, this did Jonas come round to read you a story? 673 00:39:13,577 --> 00:39:14,610 No, it was... 674 00:39:14,611 --> 00:39:15,764 A story about fucking? 675 00:39:15,765 --> 00:39:17,355 It was... 676 00:39:17,356 --> 00:39:20,413 When all the Dan stuff was going on and you'd walked out. 677 00:39:23,441 --> 00:39:24,593 For like ten minutes. 678 00:39:24,594 --> 00:39:26,419 For five days, Liam. 679 00:39:27,220 --> 00:39:28,942 No call, no nothing. 680 00:39:31,464 --> 00:39:33,861 So you fucked him after four days? 681 00:39:33,862 --> 00:39:35,332 That's heroic. 682 00:39:35,333 --> 00:39:39,150 I mean, three days, that's admirable, but four days? 683 00:39:39,151 --> 00:39:40,940 I mean, you must have been gagging. 684 00:39:40,941 --> 00:39:42,454 I was so upset. 685 00:39:44,724 --> 00:39:47,372 We went for a drink, I got drunk. 686 00:39:47,817 --> 00:39:49,597 It shouldn't have happened. 687 00:39:50,797 --> 00:39:52,294 I'm sorry. 688 00:39:54,428 --> 00:39:57,724 I'm so sorry, I can't say anything else. 689 00:39:57,725 --> 00:39:58,990 I love you. 690 00:40:02,877 --> 00:40:04,507 Did you use a condom? 691 00:40:04,508 --> 00:40:05,661 Yes. 692 00:40:05,662 --> 00:40:08,410 Cos we didn't have any here. We were trying. 693 00:40:09,798 --> 00:40:11,030 He had some. 694 00:40:11,031 --> 00:40:12,780 In his pocket? 695 00:40:12,781 --> 00:40:14,155 In his car. 696 00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:18,666 Was it his decision, or did you make him wear one? 697 00:40:18,791 --> 00:40:20,085 I made him. 698 00:40:20,946 --> 00:40:23,110 - And you saw him put it on? - Yes. 699 00:40:23,555 --> 00:40:24,867 Show me, then. 700 00:40:26,547 --> 00:40:28,116 Show me on there. 701 00:40:34,121 --> 00:40:35,944 I need to see it, Fi. 702 00:40:38,058 --> 00:40:39,405 I deleted it. 703 00:40:40,047 --> 00:40:42,989 I wanted it to go away, I wiped the whole thing. 704 00:40:43,114 --> 00:40:44,556 - Did you? - Yeah. 705 00:40:44,681 --> 00:40:46,813 So there's just a blank gap in your timeline? 706 00:40:46,937 --> 00:40:48,377 Yeah. 707 00:40:49,348 --> 00:40:50,744 Show me that, then. 708 00:40:54,724 --> 00:40:56,533 Yeah, OK. 709 00:40:57,386 --> 00:40:58,881 I have to find it. 710 00:41:05,329 --> 00:41:07,306 No! No deleting it, not now. 711 00:41:07,431 --> 00:41:09,359 No, no. 712 00:41:12,426 --> 00:41:13,811 It's still on there, is it? 713 00:41:16,638 --> 00:41:17,968 I'm sorry. 714 00:41:20,234 --> 00:41:21,966 You have to show it to me, Fi. 715 00:41:21,967 --> 00:41:23,160 Why? 716 00:41:23,161 --> 00:41:24,549 Cos I want to see it. 717 00:41:27,053 --> 00:41:28,759 I love you. 718 00:41:29,446 --> 00:41:30,844 Show it to me. 719 00:41:31,709 --> 00:41:33,342 No. 720 00:41:33,343 --> 00:41:34,576 - Show it to me. - No. 721 00:41:34,577 --> 00:41:35,808 - Show it to me! - No! 722 00:41:35,809 --> 00:41:39,353 Show it to me! I want to see! I want to see what he looks like! 723 00:41:41,456 --> 00:41:44,177 This isn't me! Look what you're doing to me! 724 00:41:44,957 --> 00:41:46,851 Fi, I need to see it! 725 00:41:47,816 --> 00:41:49,151 Please. 726 00:41:58,321 --> 00:42:02,297 I need to see it, Fi. 727 00:42:37,915 --> 00:42:39,188 'Hurry up. 728 00:42:39,201 --> 00:42:40,461 'Sorry!' 729 00:43:39,407 --> 00:43:40,631 I love you. 730 00:43:41,508 --> 00:43:42,968 I know you do. 731 00:43:48,540 --> 00:43:49,652 Oh! 732 00:43:52,357 --> 00:43:53,696 Hello, stinky! 733 00:44:40,795 --> 00:44:42,056 Hey. 734 00:46:05,285 --> 00:46:07,361 Brown or green? 735 00:46:08,055 --> 00:46:09,376 Green? 52446

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