Original subtitles

[captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group]

Do you even know how huge These death rabbit fights could

Be for me?

Um...

Do you?

So huge that it doesn't Matter, 'cause you still got

Ants in your brain?

Oh, I've got a plan for that.

Yeah, is that ant poison?

No, what?

Why?

Yeah, no, that's a-- Great plan.

So that's your plan?

Break in there, kill all The guards, and rescue simon?

A simple, logical, Progression, barnaby.

[guns cocking] Freeze, douchebags!

Yeah...

Yeah, pretty much writes itself.

I can't put coins in it.

That's what I'm trying to tell-- I can't put coins in it,

It'll jam it.

No, I cannot-- No, ok, I'm hanging up.

[beep] Ahh.

I mean, it's--seriously, It's every morning.

Pneumatic tubes, eh?

Obviously.

Can't put coins in those.

They were very clear about That.

I don't even know where they go.

I just know I can't put coins in Them, can I?

I-- Because I can't put coins

In it!

Oh.

So, why'd you two sneak into My lair?

I'm here to-- He kidnapped me!

I have patty hearst syndrome!

Barnaby-- What are we doing here?

I am here to rescue my son Simon from your--your evil

Clutches.

Uh-uh, no.

No, no, no.

He's like a kid in a candy shop, And that candy is--

Success.

And I'm--I'm that friendly man At the cash register with the

Handlebar mustache.

Ha ha ha.

What?

I think I'm missing a key Reference.

But I can't have people Sneaking in here...

Is that from "Little house"?

Leaking dooky water on my Rugs, that's unacceptable.

I have patty hearst syndrome!

Now, shush.

Barnaby, just-- I'm getting furious with you.

You don't even have pants on.

Neither does he.

He doesn't have a penis!

Well, ah-- As far as I can tell.

Yeah, what is the story on That?

Seriously.

Hah, right, You're one to talk.

My penis fills an entire Tallboy!

Master cylinder!

Heh.

I'm sure it doesn't fill it.

Yes, don't listen to him, He's crazy.

Was patty hearst crazy when She kidnapped the lindbergh

Twins?

Barnaby, just-- Look, uh...

Turn 6.

Frankly, I think your kid Could use a more, uh--

All right.

Positive role model.

Wha-- You mean you hang out together?

Yeah.

Weird.

Ok, I'll-- I'll let you have the kid back.

[gasp] If--

And this is the part that I kind of like--

If you two fight to the death.

Done.

What?!

[giggles] Dude, what are you--

Barnaby, shut up.

I have a plan.

I don't even have any coins, You bitch!

[beep] Ahh...

All right.

God, I wish they'd get on With it.

That local peabody ain't gonna Win itself!

Hah, how would you know?

Ha ha, ha ha.

Zing!

What is that?

Oh, no, nothing.

Why would you even say that?

Is that, um...

Is that ant poison?

No.

What, why?

No, no, nothing.

That's a good plan.

Your attention, please!

Oh, god, I love chinatown!

Uh, tonight's death rabbit Bouts have been cancelled.

What the hell, damn guy!

Oh, man, I hate chinatown!

I bet that damn Darcelle jones is behind this.

[roars] God, she's always trying to

One-up me.

Really?

You think you're, like, You're even on her radar?

Zing!

What--ya know...

[laughs] I'm sorry, he's killing you.

Instead of rabbits, We will have a human death

Match, ha ha ha.

Boosh!

Between 2 best friends, Ha ha ha!

Yeah!

Boosh!

I frickin' love chinatown.

Me, too, man.

I wanna tea bag chinatown!

Boosh!

What's up my big, red, Robot ninja?

Ha ha!

Boosh.

God, I'm wasted!

In the blue corner, ha ha!

Tipping the scales at 440 Rippling muscley pounds,

Killface!

[cheering] Oh.

The crowd loves me.

Papa!

[mumbles] In the red corner,

Weighing in at 190 pounds, Ha ha!

Barnaby jones!

Woo!

God, finally these two are Gonna fight.

I know, like, drag it out Some more.

Why don't ya.

Ah, these two, Like the sam and diane of...

2 gay guys.

I don't know.

Wait, I'm--uh, gettin' some Interference on here, what's--

You know what, hang on.

I'm getting some interference On here.

Somebody on this channel?

Are these tubes going bad?

What's going on?

Bet it's those tubes.

Ah, we're blown!

They made us!

We're blown, they made us!

Go, go, go, go, go!

Go, go, go, go, go!

[crash] Cody's down!

So, what do we do now?

We watch.

And we wait.

[growls] [mumbles]

Mr. Vegas is waiting for you.

[mumbles] Yeah, my ass is everywhere.

Now, go on, moon rock.

[bell dings] All right, now, while

I think of a plan-- Plan?!

It was your stupid ass plan that Got us in this pickle.

Oh, we were suppose to get pi-- Don't.

Say it.

Sorry.

Just try to make the fight Look real.

Ugh!

All right, ok, relatively.

Ok, ok, barnaby?

Don't punch me, I'm coughing.

Ah, hell no, You never bet on the white guy.

Never on the white guy.

That's just dumb.

Well, who do you bet on when It's 2 white guys?

Well, that one guy's not even Fighting.

Ugh, ugh, ugh!

That's the rope-a-dope, dog!

Ok, ok, just not ever time Right in the retina.

It will detach.

Woo!

Barnaby?

Do you hear a dial tone?

[cheering] 'cause barnaby jones is off

The hook!

Man!

He's whipping his ass!

Aw, man, this fight's fixed.

[booing] What the hell, damn guy!

Aw, [bleep] It, man, This bull [bleep] Going on

Around here.

Barnaby, they're not buying It.

Gonna have to go with plan "B".

Yeah, 'cause you're gettin' Your ass kicked!

And I apologize in advance.

Hey, hey, dude, what're you-- Aah!

Oh, son of a bitch!

Oh, my god, he bit off His ear!

Yeah!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Chinatown's got something for Everybody!

Boosh!

God, I might win 2 local Peabodys.

Guys, are you getting this?

Over!

Guys, are you there?

Over!

Ga--why won't she die?!

You do not [bleep] With The department of labor!

I'm out of betas!

Give me a 3/4!

What is that, a 3/4?

Oh, my god, I'm hit!

Cody!

My ear!

Somebody put it in milk!

Pff!

What's that?

No, no, no, They can reattach it!

Harumph, harumph!

Harumph!

Harumph, harumph!

Well, there's something you Don't see every day.

Man, I love chinatown.

Me, too!

Oh, you're [bleep] Dead.

Yes, that's the spirit, Barnaby.

Ugh!

Oh, you're really selling it.

Say, what's that?

Bring that energy.

I obviously can't hear you!

[cheers] Barnaby--

Hey, I'm killface and I have A plan!

Let me shoot your [bleep] Eyes out!

And then, let's wander through a [bleep] Sewer our whole

Lives-- So we can find my [bleep]

Fatass weirdo kid-- Hey--

Who just happens to be-- Barnaby, don't--

The world's fattest [bleep] Pussy!

[roars] Ugh!

You made me do that!

[coughs] Well, your kid's still a pussy.

Barnaby!

Because you are a failure as A parent.

[roars] [mumbles] [gasp]

Hey, ronnie, isn't that your

Rape-wig?

Yeah, is one of them.

Kill him!

Yeah!

Kill him!

Yeah!

Yeah, moon man!

No...

I--I can't!

I can't do it!

Lame!

Boo!

You know the law!

This is chinatown!

Kill him!

No, look at his face.

What?

He's got the mind of a child.

Aww...

Kill him!

I won't kill my best friend.

I like that.

[gasp] Ha ha ha ha ha!

I'm sorry?

Your words have moved me, Killface, and I'm not a man

Easily moved.

This man, barnaby jones, May live.

B.J.-- Lives!

And your son may leave my Curious employ.

[mumbles] Oh, thank god!

We did it, barnaby!

Oh...

They're giving away free flags!

Yes!

Everyone got what they wanted.

Oh...

Right?

Yeah.

[coughs] I need an ambulance!

[coughs] I'll call you a hearse.

This is for cody.

No!

Dude, what are you doing?

Um...

Here, hold this.

Cody!

What did you do?

What did you do?

Hey, man-- You're going down for this,

Cody.

Son, what can I say?

This was a phenomenally great Idea you had, son.

And your cut is 40--30 grand.

[mumbles] Yeah, you can count it,

If you wanna be a douchebag All your life.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

I'm kidding.

Don't worry about it.

Yes!

With the thrilling footage in my Purse-cam, I am sure to win the

Local peabody!

Take that, darcelle jo-- [growls]

Did you see that?

Wh--was that an ocelot?

No, it was a jaguar!

And I-- Am darcelle jones of

Team jaguar!

Of course you are.

Called it.

See you at the local Peabodys, ryan.

Did I not call it?

Or not, probably.

Skittles?

Come here, girl.

Oh, my god.

Totally called it.

Ha ha!

Me, too!

[crash] Ha ha!

Boosh!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

You know-- Well, if that was

Darcelle jones, Where's the dry cleaner?

[growls] So, hey...

Mm?

Thanks for not killing me.

Things got a little crazy back There.

Barnaby, how could I kill My best friend?

Yeah.

Barnaby, we're b.F.F.

Good old, good old.

♪ everybody, hey My buddy is named ♪

Yeah.

♪ barnaby Right?

You remember that.

Yeah, and I love that song.

You know I do, but, um, I am actually--

Xander crews!

What?!

Woop, woop, woop, woop, woop!

[captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group]

[captioned by the national Captioning institute

--www.Ncicap.Org--] ♪ cody's down!

[growls] Cody's down!

[growls] Cody's down!

[growls] Cody's down!